Higher vs Lower Brain Thoughts

The model at the Islamic Life Coach School is a tool that we utilize to manage our thoughts and emotions . The model is CTFAR . That stands for circumstances that create thoughts , that give us feelings that drive actions that then generate results . I wish someone had taught us that our feelings drive our results .

Growing up , this would have been very valuable information . Everything we do is because of a feeling . We either do something to gain a feeling or avoid a feeling . Feelings act as fuel towards our actions . Feelings come from thoughts according to this model , and the great news is that thoughts are under our control .

So if we can control our thoughts in turn control our feelings , control our actions and therefore generate a result that best serve us , this is great news . So , out of the model , circumstance not in our control , thoughts in our control and everything that follows consequently is also in our control . This is great news because we can achieve any goal we want .

So here at the Islamic Life Coach School . My goal would be to start with helping you with time management . How can you choose certain thoughts that lead you to be efficient with your time ? First of all , you have to start with observing your thoughts .

That requires for you to go into observer mode , basically what we call consciousness , being aware of your own thoughts , thinking about being able to think this , I believe , is the greatest gift that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has given us . No animal on the planet can do this , except for humans .

To observe your thoughts , you basically mentally step out of your body and figure out what it is that you're thinking , and then you observe what you're thinking without judgment . Now , that without judgment piece is very important .

Once you've learned to observe your thoughts , you'll have to make space for all of your thoughts , even the negative ones , especially the negative ones . That'll be uncomfortable in the beginning , but once you realize that the worse a negative thought can generate as a feeling , the better it becomes .

Another great news is , if you do have negative thoughts , that does not mean that they are you . Your negative thoughts are not you . You are not your thoughts . You're allowed to think all of your thoughts . I give you permission to think all your thoughts , and you should too .

At this point , let me introduce a concept of the primitive brain and the prefrontal cortex , what I'll call lower versus higher brain . Here at the Islamic Life Coach School , lower brain has been given multiple names , including lizard brain , primitive brain . The scientific name is amygdala .

This part of the brain is responsible for fight and flight responses running away from danger , finding warmth and comfort . This was responsible for humans to be able to survive in the Stone Ages . That part of the brain , for the most part , is not needed anymore , but unfortunately for most of us it's still engaged and mostly on overdrive .

Now , if you remember , I've been emphasizing in our podcast that pick the thoughts that serve you . It comes down to lower versus higher brain thoughts . There are very few circumstances where lower brain thoughts will serve you .

Most of them will require a fight and flight response or a freeze response , like being attacked by a bear or a tiger , or struggling with hunger or being extremely cold or being alone . Those were all threats that humans were facing while trying to survive in the primitive times . In this day and age , 99.99% of the time , only the higher brain will serve you .

We can all agree that we're not living in caves anymore , so the circumstance or the sea line has changed .

I will argue that , even if there is an immediate danger or a threat like a robbery at gunpoint or a violent intruder or even a reckless driver on the highway , higher brain will win , because time and time again we've come to know of stories where people have kept their cool during these circumstances and survived , rather than the ones that panicked and gave in to

the lower brain thoughts . Again , it's not to say you can control what thoughts come into your brain . That's actually against the point I'm trying to make .

It is very important that you allow all the thoughts , but it is equally or even more important that you focus on the thoughts that serve you in a given situation and with a little practice , it will take you a fraction of a second to choose the right thought .

So , since we agree that we're not dealing with life-threatening situations majority of the day , let's focus on what our brain feeds us and identify which of these thoughts are lower brain versus which of these thoughts are higher brain . In the spirit of time management as my goal through Islamic Life Course School , I'll take examples related to time management .

One other concept I will introduce at this point is called intentional model versus the unintentional model . The unintentional model is what we live by every day without being conscious of our thought . The intentional model is what we create for ourselves when we choose to focus on certain thoughts .

Let's say the circumstance is invite to a birthday party at 6 pm , friday night . The circumstance is neutral , it's provable and it leads to us having a thought . The thought that might generate I have to go to this party , since I couldn't make it to their last party .

The feeling this thought might generate would be of incompetence , because you're feeling incompetence if you had to say no to two of the invites from the same family . This feeling of incompetence will lead to a result of saying yes to the invite . The result that you end up with a jam-packed schedule on the weekend .

You couldn't spend time with your own family that you had planned . Now this is an example of the unintentional model . Let's take an intentional model , for example . Circumstance is we get an invite to a birthday party at 6 pm on Friday night .

Intentionally , we choose to think that it's nice of them to think of us , but I have a commitment to stay at home that night and you don't have to offer any explanation to that commitment .

After you choose to focus on that thought , the feeling that might generate would be of satisfaction that you have kept your promise with your family and you're not overbooking yourself . The action that feeling might lead to would be of politely declining the invitation and , at the same time , the inaction that would result would be you not going to the party .

The result is that you spend meaningful time with the family . That is much more satisfying than the result of you resenting going to the party and having missed time with your family . This is an example of an intentional model with the same circumstance .

Now , you guys , it is very important that you notice that switching of a thought of I couldn't go to their last party , so I must attend this one , to the thought of nice , of them to think of us , but I can't accept this invite since I have another commitment .

Both of these thoughts require for you to be aware of your thoughts , which is the very basic thing that you need to do to be able to accomplish this . The unintentional model thought , which is , since I couldn't go to their last party , I should say yes to this invite , comes from the lower brain . It's a scarcity mindset .

It comes from fear of exclusion from the social circle . It comes from a place of anxiety . Lower brain has our best interest in mind when it comes to life-saving processes , but unfortunately , an invitation to a party is not a life-saving processes . But unfortunately , an invitation to a party is not a life-saving process .

The intentional model thought of nice of them to think of us , but I have another commitment to stay at home and spend time with the family asks you to face your fear of exclusion . But this thought comes from abundance , knowing your priorities , planning ahead , which is all the prefrontal cortex or the higher brain thought .

This is a very simple but very effective example to just kind of delineate the thoughts that the lower brain offers us versus the higher brain . At this point , the last thing I want you to do is to judge yourself if you do have lower brain thoughts , because that is completely natural and human . The primitive brain offers a function .

It offered an important function and it still does in some circumstances . But unfortunately , in this day and age the primitive brain is on overdrive and we don't actually need

it . Now let's say that you're in a situation where you've decided you want to open your own business . You are also a parent .

You're also working to pay the bills and you also have parents that are dependent on you , and you're also very firmly attached to your spiritual and religious beliefs and you fulfill all your religious obligations and you volunteer because you know that's what everyone does . You want to travel more . You want to pick up a hobby .

You want to spend time with your family and also have leisure time for yourself . You're also getting an education to keep your skills sharp . You also want to work out to keep your body in shape . You want to make time for your friends and also be there for them , and you want all of these things all of the time .

Sounds like a bunch of common goals that everyone has , doesn't it ? And you justify all of these goals because you're an ambitious go-getter person . But since you know so many other people that have accomplished this , as you've seen on Facebook , then it can't be that hard right , except when you sit down to actually do all of these things .

Everything's a jumbled mess . You can't get anything done effectively , which leads to feelings of anxiety . You're worrying about working out . When you're praying , you're worrying about not having prayed enough .

When you're hanging out with your friends , you're worried about the paper that's due tomorrow when you're at your friend's party because you didn't have time to do it earlier since you had so many other family obligations . And on and on and on it goes . You're always chasing the life you want to live and it seems to be running ahead of you .

Nothing ever gets done , which leads to a perpetual cycle of anxiety and feeling of incompetence . Here at the Islamic Life Coach School , I will teach you to take life by its horns and make time your slave rather than your master , and all it takes is a little thought work .

Recognize where your thoughts are originating from lower or higher brain and pick the ones that serve you and magically , you will have all the time that you ever needed . It will require a few steps , so we'll start with the first exercise of the Islamic life coach school . I want you to write down at least 25 of your goals .

They can be more than 25 , but not less than 25 . Sit down and really think about all these goals and write them down .

You can take as much time as you need , but no less than 10 minutes , because if you have a tendency of getting up and moving around and doing other things , chances are that you're not giving your higher brain enough time to think about all of your goals . So , at least 25 goals for at least 10 minutes . Write them down .

You can write more goals and take more time , but not less than that . The first thing I notice people do at this point is they say I'm confused . Confusion is the most common feeling that life coaches come across . If that is , you then ask yourself what would a person write down as their goals if they were not confused .

And I'm telling you , your goals will come to you . If you're feeling resistance in writing down any major goals , that's because your lower brain is offering you resistance .

Since the lower brain wants to stay with the familiar and stay stagnant , because its job is to provide safety and comfort , utilize your higher brain , your planning brain , to write these goals down . The next step in the exercise is to pick at least three of these goals and prioritize them from one to three , one being the highest priority .

Now , the prerequisite to this exercise is that you have to know what you want . I mean , really , you can only accomplish goals that you want , not what your parents want , not what your friends are doing . It has to be only your goal . So , again , you have to know your wants .

This is so extremely important , you guys , because if you pursue a goal for the wrong , again , you have to know your wants . This is so extremely important , you guys , because if you pursue a goal for the wrong reason , you'll fail miserably . Then your lower brain will offer you a thought loop that see , I told you you shouldn't have started pursuing this goal .

You were never going to accomplish it . Do not set yourself up for a failure . Recognize what goals are yours and why they're important to you . Out of those 25 goals , pick the three goals and prioritize them one through three . Now let me give you an example . Let's say you want to bench press 200 pounds because your best friend does so .

200 pounds is that even a challenging weight to press ? I don't even know . I think it depends on your weight and level of your training . Okay , so let's make up a number . Let's say you want to bench press 300 pounds . I'm picking that because it just sounds ridiculously high to me . I don't know if it's a real weight that people actually bench press .

But let's say your friend presses 300 pounds regularly and you want to do it as well . Make sure , make absolutely sure , that this goal aligns with your values , and for this you have to have a certain level of self-awareness and self-love , and I will talk about both of these concepts in detail later .

Now , why is it important that you pursue a goal based on your values ? Because the feeling behind these actions are the fuel that drive the action forward . If the feeling is incompetence and you're trying to catch up with your friend , then that is coming from a lower brain thought and it is a scarcity mindset .

But if the feeling that's driving your action is of excitement and of contentment , because this is a goal that you've always wanted to accomplish , then this is coming from an abundance mindset , which is a higher brain thought . Now notice , I didn't say you can't take inspiration from your friend .

What I did say is the reason behind your actions have to come from abundance and higher brain thoughts . You cannot achieve someone else's goals . You can only achieve yours . Maybe your friend is doing it because they want to compete in a challenge that might not be the same goal as yours , and you will set yourself up to fail .

Now also notice how bench pressing 300 pounds sounds like a noble goal , but if it's coming from a lower brain thought , you're doing it for the wrong reasons . Now , going back to our exercise of this podcast , once you've decided on the three goals , you have to start working on scheduling them in a calendar .

Let's say , for example , your three top goals are working out , spending time with your family and meal prep , and all of these goals are , of course , going to be different for all of you . You have to schedule them in in a calendar . Now , people always ask me what's the best calendar to use ? And the best calendar to use is the one you have .

It can be a digital calendar , it can be a paper calendar , it could be an expensive calendar , it could be a cheap calendar , anything that's frequently and readily available to you and you're likely to follow . You're going to take a weekly time and schedule these goals in .

You're going to either allow a half hour for workout three times a week , or you're going to take a weekly time and schedule these goals in . You're going to either allow a half hour for workout three times a week or you're going to allow for an hour every day , depending on what you think you can keep up with . You're also going to schedule family time .

You're going to schedule meal prep , since these are your top three goals . Now , once these items are in the calendar , they are written in stone . You're not going to change them , especially not when it's absolutely time to do them . Let's say , time comes Tuesday morning at 8 am .

You had scheduled in a workout and you're feeling lazy and you don't want to get out of bed and you just don't want to follow through . Recognize that it is a lower brain thought . Your higher brain , your planning brain , told you that you ought to be working out at this time , which is why it's in your calendar .

Your lower brain will offer you every excuse on the planet At this time . If you do give in to your lower brain thought and you don't get out of bed and you don't get to go to work out , I want you to make it a conscious thought . I don't want you to think that , oh , it somehow happened that I didn't get out of bed .

You can absolutely make a conscious choice of staying in bed and not working out . I just want you to give yourself the freedom of knowing that you've chosen a lower brain thought versus a higher brain thought . And if you do that , don't judge yourself . We're humans . It happens . But what I will ask you is once it is in a calendar . You do not deviate .

You do what is in the calendar at all costs . Now please don't take my words too rigidly . If , god forbid , there is a life-threatening emergency , you're not going to be going to work out , and I'm not including any of those circumstances .

But we've already established that most of the day we're not dealing with life-threatening emergencies , unless you're a trauma surgeon . But even then you have a scheduled time for that when you're at work and you're actually dealing with that . So for the rest of us that are living an average life , if it is in the calendar , it gets done .

Your lower brain offers you a lot of excuses . At the last minute you recognize that they are lower brain thoughts , you thank them for their service and you move on with your plan . You do not judge yourself for having those thoughts .

I actually stand there quite amused when the lower brain offers me all sorts of elaborate plans and I literally stand there as a bystander observing and just marveling that the function lower brain has played . The reason it's important that you don't dismiss lower brain thought is because the minute you start to dismiss thoughts and feelings , they start to overcome .

Recognizing them and making space for them is actually the way to control them . Again , the worst thing you can do is to judge yourself for having lower brain or negative thoughts , because not only have you not followed through with your commitment , if you're judging yourself , you've created the feeling of guilt on top of the feeling of confusion and failure .

So now you have two different models going on . So just please take my word Make space for all of your thoughts and feelings , especially your lower brain thoughts , no matter how much you're attempting to resist .

This bench pressing example was just one of the many life's goals that you might be pursuing , and this type of thought switch can be applied to any goal . You thank your lower brain and you move on . I always like to thank my lower brain for all the thoughts it has offered when I'm trying to achieve a goal . Not only do I thank it , I'm amused by it .

I stand there in pure fascination and really lean into those negative lower brain thoughts . I tell the lower brain thank you very much , but I'll stick to my plans , because the plans come from the prefrontal cortex .

Free your mind of the clutter and the chatter and the constant tug of war between the lower and higher brain . Stop being the bystander in this chatter and pick a thought and stick with it . Again , the biggest point I want you to take home from this is that you can choose a lower brain thought .

You can choose to stay home and not go grocery shopping because it's too cold outside or not make a business call because it's uncomfortable . But recognize that that's what you're doing . It's okay to let your lower brain win sometimes .

If you make a conscious choice , you've won half the battle , plus , most importantly , if you do make that choice , don't judge yourself . Making space for lower brain thoughts without judgment is the best way to tame them . Alright , guys , I think that's enough teachings for one podcast .

I will leave you with these thoughts and I pray that Allah SWT gives us the ability to recognize our thoughts and pick the ones that serve us . I pray that Allah SWT blesses us with noble goals In the next few upcoming podcasts . We'll be talking about self-love , awareness , time management and , further down the road , impossible goals . Stay tuned .