High Performance

As a professional Muslim woman , we take pride in multitasking , always performing at our best capacity , giving everything in life 100% , all while looking very composed , and we teach our children to do all of that . Support our spouses and peers and ourselves .

If you are blessed with security and basic life necessities food , water safety , shelter chances are , as a woman , you are always trying to do your best at everything . I am yet to meet a woman who says I'm mediocre . You might have different ambitions than others , but regardless of what that ambition is , a woman's drive is to be high performing .

If your ambitions aren't related to career or education , then it could be in spirituality , religion , volunteerism , service . Chances are you are high-performing in something . Examine your life closely . You'll find an area of high performance . If you can't identify that area , then it's most likely because you're in mind drama .

You are in fight-or-flight mode , living with chronic stress , reactivity and attributing it to some circumstance . Basically , you're just in high performing mind drama .

It could be one of any of these circumstances , like parents , in-laws , spouse , children , sibling , money , education , career , religion One of these is the source of your mind drama and you're unable to achieve your highest performance in life because your brain is perceiving threat and it is recycling that threat over and over again , presenting to you in different ways .

This perception of yours , as I teach you at Islamic Life Coach School , is under your control . You don't have to live in a stressful fight and flight mode . Remember I just said if you have your basic necessities of food , water and safety , you will be high performing at something .

If you're in a war-torn area , living through water and food shortages , your brain's basic function will be delegated to survival . For the most part , there will be little or no room left for high performance , although there are always exceptions to that as well .

A 26-year-old , majid Masharwi , a civil engineer in Gaza , created a method to build concrete blocks from rubble and ash . Both of these materials are plenty in Gaza . She has won many awards for this innovation and , as I mentioned earlier , she is the exception to the rule .

She did it in suboptimal and , most frequently , warlike conditions , from her high performance and the will of Allah . But what happens for us people in the west , we are living in a fight and flight mode without being in actual danger .

The brain will make it look like something's going wrong and the body responds like there's a war , while it's just an error on the brain's part , it's perceiving threat where there is none . You can disagree with me .

You will say that I don't know what you've been through , but I can tell you that I've seen it time and time again With my patients , with my clients . The perceived threat seems real long after the actual threat is gone . It is your brain's job to keep showing you as if the threat is ongoing .

But this constant threat response is what's keeping you from performing at your best . If you want , you can change it . I've also seen time and time again where clients work with me and start to come out of that threat response and as soon as that happens , they start questioning themselves what can I do now ?

Once their mind is free of constructing a fear response , they have so much more energy and time left to live a life they actually want to create . It is a fascinating transition to watch .

They ask me questions like now what I know how to recognize when the stress response is building in my body and I know when to stop it , but I don't know what else to do at that point . Basically , their life has been busy constructing and reconstructing trauma .

When they actually know how to cope with that in a healthy manner , they come to a blank spot which is unexplored territory for them . This is where they actually get to construct something positive . Here is where the answer lies in finding the area of your high performance . You've been high performing in the area of creating stress .

Now it's time to high perform in the area of fulfillment and joy . Brandon Bouchard , a high performance coach , author of High Performance Habits , highlights six habits to start developing if you want to become extraordinary . Number one seek clarity . That means clearly define your goals and values . Number two generate energy . Here he talks about regenerating intentions .

Number three raise necessity . Here he says that the necessity of your goal might need to be rekindled every now and then . Number four increase productivity . Separate being busy from being productive . Number five develop influence . He says ask for what you want . Number five develop influence . He says ask for what you want . Number six demonstrate courage .

I define courage as a discomfort , often felt like a knot in the pit of your stomach . Now I want this podcast to be more than a summary of this book . I disagree with a lot of things that he said in this book , one thing in particular that he mentioned in the beginning .

He describes the difference between emotion and a feeling , where an emotion is something that suddenly comes over you because of a situation , while a feeling is something that you develop after you ruminate over that emotion , like no , that's now how it happens . No emotional state comes over you because of a situation .

There's always a thought filter in between period . End of discussion . That thought might be difficult to identify because it's automatic and subconscious , but there's always a thought separate feeling and emotion .

Some neuroscientists like to define feeling as the sensation of the body , like hunger , pinprick , sensation of hot or cold , and emotions are just the internal state of the body , like happy , sad or upset . Different people define feelings and emotions differently .

I use feelings and emotions interchangeably , and here at Islamic Life School I use the word sensation when it comes to bodily sensations . But what I disagree with strongly here is that your emotional state is caused by your environment . I do not agree with that at any level . No matter what you decide to call it .

You can call it emotions , feelings , neurochemicals or beef stew for that matter . It is not caused by your environment . It is caused by your thoughts . If you go back to ascribing your emotions to your circumstance , you lose your sense of agency . Your brain will be in turmoil and nothing in life is going to make sense .

Humans only have agency over their thoughts . As for the rest of the points in the book , I will try to describe them in Islamic life coach school terms .

These are the action items to refer to once you have come out of the threat response of your brain and if you're looking to create the life of meaning for yourself , if you're out of the constant stress response that your brain creates . These are the points you should remember . Number one find clarity in your goals and values .

If currently you are not sure what your goals and values are , transport yourself into the future at the time of your death . Imagine what regrets will be there at the time and turn those regrets into goals for the present . Studies have shown time and time again that family is one of the most important priority among terminal patients .

Another priority is that they don't want to leave a financial burden on their families . Islam asks us to contemplate our death . Often People say this is very morbid . I don't borrow that thought at all . I say it is an excellent idea to think about death and the regrets you might have around it .

If you can make those regrets into goals , you can actually avoid them . That is not morbid , that is actually quite revealing . Number two generate energy . Repeat your goals and intentions . Often this is an ongoing process that has to be done over and over again .

Work on generating mental and bodily energy , because the journey is what gets you to the goal , and journey is more important here . This process can make you feel tired if you don't regenerate the energy . Every morning I have an alarm set in my phone that goes off and says avoid deathbed regrets .

Every morning I revisit with new intention , making sure my goals and actions for the day still align with these values . Every morning I take a few seconds to find my intentions and renew my energy . Number three raise necessity . This is basically shifting your reason behind your goals to an external fact , like supporting your family or spouse or community .

Necessity is coming from outside of you . If that helps you being a high performer , then borrow it from this source and use it . Islam assigns roles to adults in the community and their family life as a part of the generation of this necessity . If you don't have any obligations towards your relationship , this necessity will be gone .

Western world says this necessity takes away from my freedom . I should be free to do anything I want . But when you really think about it , nobody actually has all the freedom . Anything I want , but when you really think about it , nobody actually has all the freedom that they want .

Even in the freest of countries , it's not okay to murder or steal , no matter how good your intentions are . That will still not be allowed . So ultimate freedom is a myth . Every human being is bound by some rules . Now , based on that , it is in your favor to create some necessity on purpose . As Muslims , we choose necessities ascribed to us by our religion .

You can translate it into your life by assigning roles in family structure , community or humanity or religion as a whole . Raising necessity meaning using external factors of motivation is an important part of high performance .

If you have actually created a role in your life out of this necessity and all of a sudden you find yourself worrying about being bound to that role , I will remind you that that is your lower brain screaming for attention . Everyone is bound by something . No one has ultimate freedom .

It is time for you to cultivate your necessity , your external factors , consciously . Number 4 . Increase productivity . We've said productivity means measuring outputs by results generated , not by the time or effort or money spent on the project .

Checking emails seems important and keeps you busy , but if it is a distraction from your goal it is better to eliminate tasks that keep you busy . Visualize goals fiercely and with clarity and stick to only that goal .

Brendan Bouchard describes a term called PQO prolific quality outputs which basically says leave the busy work behind and measure outputs with what you have achieved towards your goal .

In the Islamic tradition it is described that Abu Huraira reported Prophet peace be upon him said take up good deeds only as much as you are able , for the best deeds are those done regularly , even if there are a few . Take repeated actions towards your goals and eliminate distractions .

Checking emails , messages , making grocery lists , to-do lists might seem important , but if they are keeping you from being consistent in your goals , you can never be high performing . Eliminate even the good deeds if they are distracting you from maximum productivity . In one good deed , that's heavy . I'll let that sink in for a bit . Number five develop influence .

In this book , high Performance Habits . He talks about developing influence as a skill to shape other people's beliefs and behaviors . In my previous podcast , number 33 , I have described how to exactly do that from a place of respect for yourself and others . He also describes that you have to ask for what you want , otherwise you might never get it .

It sounds like a pretty self-explanatory concept , but you would be surprised how many people just never ask out of a fear of rejection .

Number six demonstrate courage . My kids tell me courage is like having butterflies in their stomach before doing something , and they take actions anyways . That pretty much sums it up . If you ask me If my kids can survive , so can you .

Disclaimer here this is not a green light for you to take uncalculated , life-threatening rests because I told you to ignore your butterflies . Having courage in the feeling line means really nothing is impossible . Courage means that there's actually fear underlying . Otherwise there would be no need for courage .

If you can process that fear and identify that most fears are baseless , courage will come naturally and easily . Now , in conclusion , with all of these six habits , we have to have belief in Allah . You can embody these habits but have tawakkul , because no one other than Allah can take you to the finish line .

Take the right mind actions , take the right physical actions , but leave the belief in Allah intact , because then , no matter what the outcome is , it was always supposed to be . I pray that we all find our way into high productivity so we can serve Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala . I pray that I have said enough to give you food for thought .

I ask Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala to grant us tawfiq and hikmah , opportunity and wisdom to be high performers in our chosen roles and to do da'wa with our actions . Ameen , ya Rabbul Ameen , I will talk to you guys next time .