Evolved Muslim Woman

I recently went out for coffee with some of my local fellow coaches and when I say coffee , I don't drink coffee and I was fasting , so it was more like I was watching them eat and we were exchanging ideas and worked out good , because when I wasn't focusing on food and eating with etiquette , I was more attentive to the ideas they were sharing .

These women are super nice , accomplished and I had a lot of fun . One is a weight loss coach , the other one is a parenting coach . One of them is a coach for professional women in their 50s . It was incredible hanging out with them , but one of them talked about her friend , who she referred to as an evolved human being , and it got me thinking .

What does that term mean , evolved human ? What does it mean to her ? What does it mean to me ? What does an evolved human look like ? Is there a difference in how an evolved Muslim woman would define herself versus a non-Muslim woman ?

All these questions rushed into my head and eventually I started to come up with all sorts of answers , and it was one of those things .

When I revisited this question after the meeting , a stream of thoughts came into my head , alhamdulillah , and it was so profound for me because , in my quest to answer what an evolved Muslim woman looks like , acts like or thinks like , I came up with strategies that I was already implementing in my life , but I wasn't consciously aware of them , and I'm always

tweaking the application of these evolved strategies to elevate my own consciousness .

This term evolved is a hot phrase in the self-help world and , like I said in me just asking this question , I had gained a lot of clarity in the ideas that I'm going to share with you today , inshallah , as per usual , it is my intention that the way I articulate the concept for you of an evolved Muslim woman , it will be transformational for you .

So what is an evolved human being ? There's biological evolution , cultural and social evolution , but what I'm talking about here is about personal and spiritual development In this realm .

An evolved human being is someone who has achieved a high level of self-awareness , emotional intelligence , mindfulness , all with an Islamic perspective that focuses on personal growth and ethical living and a sense of connectedness with others in the world and , ultimately , a connectedness to Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala .

But the best way I describe what an evolved Muslim woman is , she is someone whose mind works in her favor majority of the time . And what do I mean by that ? Let me give you some examples to help me explain this . Let's say your boss gives you feedback . If you think , why is my boss always picking on me ?

I can't do anything right as a result of that thought , you'll feel hurt , defensive , frustrated , and the way you'll act will be maybe you'll snap back with a sharp comment or sulk for the rest of the day , ignoring the suggestions and being just generally disengaged and carrying that energy home .

Even With the sum of these actions , you create no possibility that the feedback could improve you . This is your brain working against you . But an evolved woman who has a brain working in her favor most of the time receives the same feedback from her boss or company and could think I think they're trying to help me . This feedback could help me grow .

What can I learn from this ? As a result , you might initially feel surprised at your own reaction , but then curious and open to improvement and the action you will take out of curiosity is thank her for her feedback , ask for more specific examples if needed , make a plan to implement changes , but you will remember that the ultimate guidance only lies with Allah .

You will pray for guidance to create abundant opportunity for growth and improvement in your life , not only professionally , but personally and spiritually . With this type of thought process , you have created a favorable outcome . The brain has worked in your favor , where not only did you learn from the feedback , but you improved your future outcome .

The way your brain interprets things is not how things are transpiring in the world . You can direct and redirect your brain to think in a way that serves you . Now , if you want to leave your job begrudgingly , then you're welcome to think that your boss is always picking on you .

You are allowed to think all of those thoughts , but which thoughts you adopt and believe , please choose them with awareness . If you want to leave the job , you can do it begrudgingly or you can do it amicably . Then you can also think this is not the right fit for me .

I am doing both of us a favor by phasing out of this company , because this is the difference between an evolved Muslim woman versus someone who is always the victim of her job .

Another example is if , let's say , you're dealing with a rude comment in public , an unevolved response from a brain who is not working in your favor would think who does this person think they are ? They can't talk to me like that . You feel angry , enraged . Other times you might internalize the rude comment and feel embarrassed as a result .

If you're angry , you'll shout back , make rude comments and then let your anger boil over for hours . In this case , you prove the critic right . If you're embarrassed and you've internalized their criticism , then you'll act like you've accepted yourself as a subpar human being . Either way , your mind is working against you .

An evolved response to the rude comment could be maybe they're having a bad day ? I shouldn't take this personally . You can even have a brief flash of anger Then . Otherwise , you'll have vigilance to stand up for yourself or even empathy for the other person , and from vigilance you'll create safety , making stand up for yourself or even empathy for the other person .

And from vigilance you'll create safety , making sure that there is no immediate threat to you . You will assertively tell them to mind their own business , calling out racism , being assertive in your stance and showing up as an unapologetic Muslim .

But if your brain goes the empathic route , you can smile , possibly offer a kind word , move on without letting it affect you or your peace of mind . Let it roll off your back . Maybe you reflect on Prophet Muhammad's patience during adversity and ask Allah to help maintain your calm and believe that Allah will reward you for the mitigation of the situation .

Both the unapologetic and the empathic response in this case are evolved . One is not better than the other . You can choose which one suits you best in a situation , but either way , the result you create is that you deal with the situation with your values intact , without being derailed or oppressed . Either way , you do not become the victim of the rude behavior .

This is an evolved response , something you choose , something that actually does not come naturally . What comes naturally is the default response , the unevolved response . I always tell you guys that , as a human , you are always operating from two brains . You are living with the dichotomy of the two brains .

The primal , lower brain this is the one that reacts without thoughtful consideration , based on survival instincts and immediate emotional upheavals . This is the one that reacts without thoughtful consideration , based on survival instincts and immediate emotional upheavals . This is the default out-of-the-box setting . This is the nafs .

This is what the voice of the kareen , the personal devil , or the jinn that whispers wassafas to every human being . Nafs is what it uses as an anchor to grab a hold in you as a human being . Shaitan urges humans to become unevolved and stay there , using the nafs , urging them towards impulsive , misguided actions .

Evolved brain this is your higher thoughtful response brain . It represents the reflective and considerate responses that align with your higher long-term spiritual values and goals . Reaching this station requires energy and work because you're born with the uninvolved setting . Regardless of your evolution status , your emotions will always follow your thinking .

Your body will react to both your conscious and subconscious thoughts . What I see a lot in my coaching is examples like balancing career and religious beliefs .

As a Muslim woman working in a corporate setting or any setting to earn monetary income , you might have unrecognized struggle with the demands of constant networking and self-promotion to climb the career ladder , feeling conflicted about whether these actions compromise your religious value of modesty . If you've ever find yourself asking questions like am I being too forward ?

Is it really okay with my beliefs ? Before you speak to somebody about your accomplishments and you're always pausing before you speak to someone about your accomplishments or when you sit down to update your CV , you're always considering and reconsidering how much can you talk about your accomplishments ?

Or if you have to prove that you're a published author to get into the next rank in your academic career , but you can't really do that because this counts as self-promotion . If this creates a conflict for you , it's most likely an unevolved response , because it is keeping you from progressing .

Asking these questions and remaining open to curiosity to get your answers that's the evolved response . Unevolved response would be to low-key believe that networking is self-promotion and , by extension , self-pride . That's what sabotages your careers . These hidden beliefs is what sabotages your career .

Or if your family points out to you that you seem to be neglecting your religious duties while pursuing your career instead of focusing on improvement , you take their comments as an insult , telling them or just even thinking to yourself . They don't know how hard you have it . You're an ambitious , go-getter person .

You will make time for religion when the time is right . It is an unevolved response . This is your brain working against you . Right , it is an unevolved response . This is your brain working against you . Anything that moves you away from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala , especially the obligatory acts of worship , is an unevolved response .

Or when you're managing a household and you feel stressed when the plans you make fall through . An unevolved response would be thoughts like nothing ever works out . Why do I even bother planning ? Nobody else cares about helping me .

You feel overwhelmed or hopeless and you act in a manner where you complain to your family , blame others for chaos or possibly give up trying to organize anything . The sum of these actions is that you ensure that things don't work out . Evolved response in this case could be that you think okay , this is just a test of my patience . What's the best way forward ?

And with that you quickly move into curiosity . You might have felt stressed by default response , but with curiosity you quickly shift into problem-solving mode and you act calmly . Gather the family to discuss a plan , suggest alternatives , ask for help . Gather the family to discuss a plan , suggest alternatives , ask for help .

Maintain a supportive attitude towards others , but mostly and above all , you maintain a supportive attitude towards yourself .

This proves to you that , while this organization might have been hard , you've passed this test because now you're closer together in your family ties , learning and the growth process , and improving in your planning proves that this is an evolved response . When you are in fight and flight mode , your higher faculties are turned off .

You cannot act evolved unless you train yourself ahead of time . An evolved Muslim woman is who chooses her response , who trains her brain to work in her favor . You , as an individual Muslim woman , carry a set of beliefs that shape how you perceive others .

If you believe that other people are untrustworthy , you're going to interpret all ambiguous behavior as deceitful . This projection is what clouds your judgment and messes up your interactions , which is what proves your perception to be true up your interactions , which is what proves your perception to be true , because nobody likes to be thought of as deceitful .

Your expectations shape your perceptions . When you anticipate a particular outcome , your mind will go to look for evidence that supports this expectation . It completely ignores , omits , deletes anything that doesn't support this expectation . This is because of a confirmation bias that reinforces existing beliefs , making it hard to see the reality of the situation clearly .

As an evolved Muslim woman , it is your responsibility to acknowledge the subjectivity of your perceptions . As an evolved Muslim woman , you understand that your immediate thoughts about a situation might be more reflective of your internal state than the objective truth .

Just with this recognition , you can begin to question and analyze your initial reactions before acting on them . This will have an incredibly liberating effect on your emotional life . Like when someone is angry , they might perceive neutral comments as hostile . This emotional coloring distorts your understanding and leads to miscommunication and conflicts .

If you're just starting out in this path of evolution , your job is to recognize subjectivity of your experience . Do your best to separate your opinion from objective reality . Use this to recognize , then to train your brain to work in your favor . And , above all , the highest form of evolution is submission to Allah .

True submission involves acknowledging your limitations and turning to Allah for guidance , which you can only do if you're using your evolved higher brain , because the ego or the nafs will tell you that you've got everything figured out . Ego will say what you are saying is a fact , what you're thinking is a fact , and then there's no need for growth or improvement .

Just the mere act of submission to Allah is a high form of evolution , because this is not passive . It is a conscious , deliberate decision that we make every day alhamdulillah to trust and to rely on divine wisdom . And then you work to align your actions with spiritual values rather than active , impulsively .

Align your actions with spiritual values rather than active impulsively . All of this requires conscious attention and redirection . Evolution to the next level of growth is an ongoing process . Sometimes you fall back to the primal urges and sometimes you don't .

This continuous self-improvement is the process of this Giyah , and it doesn't matter how many times or how severely you've fallen into your default pattern or how many times you've mistaken your perception as objective reality . What matters is if you're willing to do this work consciously and continuously . With that , I pray to Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala .

O Allah , the most merciful , the all-knowing , guide me and all of us on the path of self-awareness . Help me to evolve in my perceptions , in my faith and my actions . O Allah , grant me the clarity to see beyond my immediate perceptions .

Teach me , through Islam , how to respond to the world around me with a heart full of grace and a mind guided by your light . Allow me to grow through my experience . Empower me to embody the qualities of an evolved Muslim woman who is always within your infinite mercy and blessings . O Allah , make this nation an evolved nation .

May our journey be filled with your guidance and may our actions reflect the beauty of Islam . Ameen , ya Rabbul Ameen , please keep me in your du'as . I will talk to you guys next time .