Changing Core Beliefs

First of all , I want to wish everyone a blessed Ramadan , this being the month of great reflection , deep connection with yourself , your loved ones and especially with Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala . I wanted to start it off with a special topic of core beliefs . If you're listening to this outside of Ramadan , the principles will still apply .

Inshallah , you've been listening to my podcast long enough that now you can understand . Your thinking creates your results . All of the results are provided by Allah . No doubt Our thinking , which is our mind , is the vehicle of manifestation .

Just like if a patient came to me at the hospital with pneumonia and I was able to manifest a result of a cure by giving him an antibiotic , the result of the cure came from Allah . My training in the antibiotic was the vehicle of delivery . The result always comes from Allah . Our mind is the vehicle of delivery .

So in this podcast , we make our best effort to optimize this vehicle so the best desired result can be manifested . It is my sincere effort to help you understand that your thoughts are not dependent on your circumstances . Your thoughts are one vehicle of delivery .

More completely , it is your qalb that is the vehicle of delivery and that is your thought and feeling pair , and this pair creates your results . In the CTFAR model circumstances , thoughts , feelings , actions and results one of these items is always at play and is always happening . In that order .

People are commonly of the belief that our circumstances create our experience of the world , when in reality it is our thoughts that create that experience . Many times we might come to intellectually understand this . We might understand that our thoughts generate our feelings that drive our actions that ultimately create our results .

But still , this might just be an intellectual understanding putting into practice . In another story and people come to me and ask me how do I change my thoughts ? How do I change my underlying beliefs ? And what they're really asking me is no matter how many thoughts they debunk , similar thoughts continue to resurface .

This is mainly because the same thoughts are being generated from certain core beliefs . A core belief is a person's most deeply held idea about themselves or the world . These core beliefs act as a lens through which you experience the world . They are also sometimes referred to as the worldview . So think of core beliefs as a trunk of a strong oak tree .

The tree itself is giant and majestic and the trunk divides into multiple branches , from big to small . The trunk of the tree is equivalent to your core belief and the branches are your fleeting small . The trunk of the tree is equivalent to your core belief and the branches are your fleeting thoughts .

To get to work on negative fleeting thoughts , you have to first identify them . So my students also tell me that it is difficult for them to identify what it is that they are thinking . And that's because sometimes , even with practicing mindfulness , we are just being present with the moment . We are experiencing with our senses Taste , smell , touch .

All of this type of mindfulness is an excellent skill to develop and highly recommended in our religion , and is proven to be very beneficial in the most recent neuroscience development .

With this mindfulness skill we learn to be present with our breath , present in the moment , present with our loved ones , but nobody really teaches us how to be present with our mind . So the idea here is to be mindful of your thoughts . Pay attention to what thoughts you're actually thinking and become aware of them . These are the branches of the tree .

Once you start this process , you'll realize you are not your thoughts . You will learn to separate from your thoughts . You will also learn that you can intentionally switch them around if you wanted to .

The key here again is awareness , and awareness not just of the present moment , but awareness of what you are thinking , and this is the process of metacognition being able to observe your self-thinking and then being able to be deliberate about your thoughts . The process of actively monitoring your thoughts and replacing them requires energy .

It is an active process because , by default , we end up forming severely limiting core beliefs , and it is the default pattern that we have to break . We don't have to act on every thought that comes to us . We also don't have to act on every feeling , but for us to come to that understanding , we have to actually first realize what we're thinking and feeling .

The state of default life occurs when we are too busy being run around by our minds , and that way we forget that we can actually control our minds . What happens is that when you start to direct your mind after gaining awareness is that your work will ultimately lead back to your core beliefs .

With the CTFAR model , you debunk each limiting thought and it will lead you back to a core belief , just like a branch ultimately leads back to the trunk . You might want to believe great things . You might want to believe great things . You might want to think in a way that you can create awesome results in your life .

You have every intention to polish your vehicle of manifestation , your qalb , your thought and feeling pair , but if you hold limiting core beliefs , they will disrupt your progress . So I'm dedicating today's podcast to the understanding of core beliefs . Just like it takes time to create them , it also takes time to bring them down .

And , as always , I describe a simple formula to identify thoughts and actions , because an absolute transformation comes from simple steps , simple steps that are repeated . Just like you want to bring down the oak tree , you have to hack away at the trunk with an axe .

Over and over again , it is the same act , but it is repeated many times until the core beliefs dismantled . So now let me tell you what are a few core beliefs that create difficulties in life .

Time and time again , I've seen in my practice and other coaches practices that I collaborate with is that most core beliefs have to do with low self-esteem because of something that happened in the childhood . Trying to escape fear is another one of core beliefs , which is the most primal of emotions .

It could be fear of abandonment , fear of disrespect , fear of poverty or dependency and the like . Another core belief that happens with the most frequency and universally is around judgment . This is the biggest hurdle I come across with myself , with my clients and in the coaching world in general .

Judgment about the self is the most deeply ingrained , the most recurrent limiting belief . This judgment then eventually leads to beliefs about worthlessness , imposter syndrome , perfectionism , unlovability , despair you name it .

Usually what happens is when I start this type of work with a client to change this worldview , she will tell me I can't believe certain new things because it's too difficult , and she might also say that it feels like it's fake news . It feels like I'm gaslighting myself . She tells me , and I tell her , that all thoughts are fake .

I mean , if you're applying the definition of thoughts being sentences in your mind , then no sentence in your mind is more real than any other . Regardless , it is language in your brain . What happens is that one sabotaging belief takes a stronghold in your brain and it's just well repeated , it is the trunk of the oak tree .

If you have problems with body image and it's something you're struggling with , then the thoughts that come very easily to you is that I hate my body . These are currently the branches that are growing . It will be nearly impossible for you to believe that you love your body or it is the best body .

But each of these beliefs is also just a sentence in your mind . Either way , it is fake . So if you're deeply believing hateful thoughts about yourself and you feel like you're gaslighting yourself with positive , constructive beliefs , then it's only because of the novelty of the positive thought , not because it is more fake than the other .

Any self-deprecating thought is also fake . So why not believe a thought that is actually going to enhance your life ? And in the beginning it will , of course , seem unbelievable to you , which is why we do this work in the first place .

In this type of bridging of thoughts , it will look something like this you might want to go from I hate my body to I have a body and then make that believable Afterwards . Start working on I'm glad my body functions well to I love that I can walk , I love that I can carry things , I love my arms and legs and eventually to I love my body .

These are all called ladder thoughts . We take tiny ladder steps to get all the way to the top of the highest quality thought . You have to climb all the way to a high quality thought , especially if you want to change something about your body , like you want to lose weight or you want to tone , to get into shape .

You have to do it from the place of loving your body , not hating it or judging it , because you will never be able to lose weight from hate and judgment and even if you do , it will only be temporary . So now we've discovered that core beliefs are because you've repeated limiting thoughts about your body and made them believable .

Now you have to practice your freedom to believe the unbelievable and you have that freedom . Like in the United States , you have the freedom of speech , which is acting out your thoughts . But no matter where in the world you live , you always have the freedom to think whatever you want . It could be the freedom to think that you love your body .

Honestly think about this . You have the freedom to believe whatever you want , no matter how big of a lie it seems .

And the only difference between United States and the rest of the world is that in United States , you have the freedom to express your belief to a certain extent , but if you're anywhere else in the world , under any circumstances , you still have the freedom to think whatever you want . This is one of the basic human rights that we are sent to earth , with .

No dictatorship , no political climate , no education or financial level can take that away from you .

I find time and time again that many core beliefs that Muslim women have to deal with these days have to do with the lifetime of programming of inferiority , mostly because of colonialism , either based on their faith , their skin color or their gender , the great occupation of mind .

And even if Muslim women get educated and work to fight this , the learned patterns of behaviors and learned beliefs of inferiority complex continue to show up in the subconscious thought and in the non-verbal language . Inferiority becomes a strong core belief even from childhood .

The turning point about all of this is to ask yourself are you choosing your core beliefs intentionally ? Because so far they've been created by default ? Neurobiologically speaking , default is that of the primal animal , fear and judgment-based brain .

If you have constructed core beliefs around default , then you can hack away all you want , at the branches , the limiting thoughts . You can replace one negative thought with the positive one , but you will only see temporary results Because your core belief will just produce more branches . The mass of your trunk will still be intact .

So one very effective method that I teach my students is the five whys process . I believe I read it in Byron Katie's work , but please don't quote me on that . I don't recall where I originally learned this . So I teach this five whys process in a lot of detail in my coaching program .

But basically , when you identify a problematic thought , try and investigate what is the underlying belief behind the thought . And you start that by asking yourself the first why ? Why am I thinking this ? Then write down the answer to that Based on what you wrote . Ask yourself the why again why am I thinking this ?

Then write down the answer to that Based on what you wrote . Ask yourself the why again why am I thinking this thought ? Why am I thinking this thought ? And then write the answer to that . Then ask yourself this why ? Serially and keep writing down the answer to each why . Repeat this process five times .

You will see that with some practice you will start to recognize patterns , the same core beliefs . After a few layers of the why will start to emerge . Most of the time , with some practice , my students start to come up with a core belief by the why number three or four , but you're welcome to extend it beyond five .

If you're not coming up with an answer to the why , even after examining problematic thoughts , then chances are you're not coming up with an answer to the why even after examining problematic thoughts . Then chances are you're resisting the evaluation process at some level .

And again , the core belief behind any of the resistance is usually judgment and it's completely natural . You can use this 5 why process to get started today and with enough work , enough hacking , you will see that you can change the trajectory of your life . Again , it happens only after you have started identifying the everyday sentences that seem very benign .

Become aware of them , bring them into questioning and scrutiny , eavesdrop on your mind to see what you're actually thinking . Then bring those thoughts into coaching or use them with self-coaching , the way I teach you guys with my freebie on the website . You can find it at islamiclifecoachschoolcom . Slash free .

Again as a reminder , your consciousness is your strongest weapon against your limiting core beliefs . This consciousness allows you to observe your thoughts and also as a gentle reminder . Our core beliefs happen because of a reason . They are not mistakes . The point of this podcast is not to instill more judgment about what we're already judging .

I want to remind you that you are the perfectly put together image of whatever you need in life . You have come to this point from all of your experiences in life for a reason . Nothing has gone wrong . These core beliefs can be a strength , can be your turning point . What has brought you here sets you up perfectly for what you need to do next .

May Allah give us all the tawfiq , the skill , the determination to use our highest consciousness .

The switch from default , limiting core beliefs to intentional , evolved ones is every human being's basic right . This is not a passive experience . You have to attempt it , you have to fail . You have to be bad at it . You have to have questions . You have to not know how to do it . If you're starting , you have to experience it with your body .

You have to push yourself into gaining momentum . Just like the inertia of a movement takes more effort at first , this will also take extra effort in the beginning , but eventually it will become easier . Take extra effort in the beginning , but eventually it will become easier .

Join the Empowered Muslim Women coaching program if you haven't already , and I will help you through that inertia . And , as always , I literally give everything away on this podcast , but when it comes to personal highest level of transformation , with my time investment , I charge for my program .

That is the next level of enjoying life for a modern Muslim woman , and my paid program , hamdulillah , is like no other . With that , I pray to Allah SWT for ease in this journey for all of us . I pray that he purifies our intentions behind this process .

Allah , please grant us lasting transformation during this Ramadan , starting with the reformation of the most deeply held limiting beliefs . I ask you , o Allah , for a transformational Ramadan when it comes to our spirituality , and I thank Allah for blessing us with the month of Ramadan and all of the potential transformation it can afford us .

Month of Ramadan and all of the potential transformation it can afford us . Please , o Allah , allow us to gain ultimate success by dismantling all of our limiting core beliefs and by gaining your pleasure only . Please keep me in your du'as . I will talk to you guys next time .