Body's Intelligence Against Shame

There's a specific type of judgment that you might feel as a woman very commonly , and the experience you have of it in the body is of that of shame . The body already knows how to heal , it knows how to protect , it guides you and it teaches you , and it does the same against shame .

So today we're going to uncover how to witness and honor and amplify the protective intelligence that is your body's natural mechanism , something that it creates in response to shame . Shame , as it harms your psyche , is always a product of shaitan . Shaitan's sole mission is to sow doubt and insecurity , and shame is one of its most effective tools .

So there are two layers of shame and for the first layer , that's about accepting someone else's judgment about you , and it usually begins very subtly . It's quiet . People around you might say things like you could have done a better job If you took care of yourself better , you wouldn't have miscarried . You're all about money . You're all about always working .

What about focusing on your family ? You're too picky . You're not picky enough you don't know how to . Picky enough you don't know how to be alone . You don't know how to be married .

Now , these comments might feel small , but these criticisms take advantage of every human being's implicit bias , including mine , and that is to accept the outside commentary as your own truth . And most of us are doing it without examination . And we do it because our brains are wired for efficiency Somewhere inside .

When somebody's criticizing you , you've believed there's a grain of truth to it . That bias makes these judgments sound like truths without you even realizing it . And we all do this , myself included . We internalize this first layer of shame , absorbing the outside world's critique of who we are , what we do , how we live , and we take it in as truth .

This is shame . That's when it settles in deep in your body and it goes unnoticed . And then there's a second layer of shame . Once your body recognizes that there's pain in your psyche and in your emotional well-being from the first layer of shame , it starts asking for recovery . This is your body's natural intelligence kicking in . It says let me help you heal .

So I'm going to give you examples of this second layer of shame , based on the examples I've already given you . So let's say you're a mother overwhelmed by the guilt after you've been told you could have done better . Your body says rest , take a nap , lie down , breathe .

But the shame layered on top of the original shame is your own voice saying you're lazy , you don't have time to waste , you could do better than this . Or let's say you're navigating grief after a miscarriage and your body craves softness and peace and restoration .

Maybe you just want to wrap yourself in a blanket , maybe you want to cry , maybe you want to go for a massage , maybe you want to take a day off , but shame will interrupt it as this is indulgent . This is selfish . How could you ? You should be stronger . Or you're trying to create work-life balance and you want to take a girl's trip . You want to laugh .

You should be stronger . Or you're trying to create work-life balance and you want to take a girl's trip . You want to laugh , you want to connect , you want to be able to step outside of the role that constantly defines you . But here's the shame on top of the healing process again A girl's trip . That's irresponsible . What will people say about you ?

Let's say you're single and you're trying to embrace your independence . You want a hike , you want a moment to nurture yourself , a spa day , a solo retreat , but the shame will say this is why you're still single , you're too self-focused . Let's say you've been married married for decades and you want a date night .

But shame will say we don't have any money , he doesn't have time . Don't you have enough already ? Isn't it enough to just be married ? Our body craves all of these healing moments , these connection moments , these self awareness moments . But the second tier of shame attacks that healing .

It will call it indulgent , selfish , wrong , and it's all from shaitan's whispers . Because that's what's keeping you from recognizing the wisdom of Allah that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has already placed within your body . Let's say somebody makes a comment about your body .

Maybe it's an outright insult , or maybe an underhanded critique , or maybe they even try to dress it up as their concern . They say it's a seemingly harmless observation . But without your vigilance , without having awareness and practice about it , it is a possibility that you will internalize this body shaming tactic of theirs . Again , this is the first layer of shame .

Nervous system creates this shame based on some meaning that it's assigning to the outside world , to the people , to the words they say to you , and this hurt lands in your body . This is an emotional pain .

It can even manifest as a physical pain , physical symptoms , chest discomfort , bowel problems , and all of these can be manifestations of this first level of shame , and that's okay . This absolutely needs work how not to create that internalized shame , how to fortify your mind against these insults ? And all of this is built on coaching .

That way you build your vigilance , your self-esteem , so that you don't accept any of these insults . You don't accept anything about your body , about your marital status , about your children , about your work , about your religion . But let's say you're still working on that and you do find some shame trapped in your body .

If you do find that your body is going to be asking , it's actually going to be demanding healing , and this is what this podcast is telling you to do . It's asking you to heal your body .

So the second layer of shame , which shames you for reaching out for that healing , this originates from the whispers of shaitan and it's its most dangerous work , because it's working to silence the natural wisdom of your body , your body that inherently knows how to heal from pain , how to seek comfort , how to find balance , and all of that voice , that inner

intelligence , becomes muted , becomes buried , and instead of hearing its voice urging you to rest , nurture and protect yourself , you get caught in an internal battle of shame that says you should have done better , you don't need rest , you need to work harder , you should be different .

This level of shame disarms your body's intelligence , makes you question these important signals that the body is sending you .

It makes you undermine the very mechanism that's designed to restore you , and in this way , shame doesn't just wound , it prevents recovery , and this leaves you in a cycle of pain , self-doubt and disconnection from your own inner capacity to heal .

If you imagine experiencing an inadvertent internalization of a comment about some judgment , maybe about your children that you have or don't have , or how you don't lead like the previous manager led the meeting , who also happened to be a white male let's say all of this or any of this is happening around you and you're internalizing it as a product of shame Then

your body's intelligence is going to step in and say it's time to recover from this . I can protect you from this . Let's move away , let's get some rest . But all of that might be labeled as cowardness , as an escape tactic . But all of this is just a recovery mechanism .

If you feel queasy , nauseous , before a public speaking event , that's your body saying I can shield you from the harm of rejection and failure . But if you shame that queasiness , if you judge yourself as inferior for experiencing that nausea or that tightness in your stomach , this healing response is getting suppressed .

In response to a perceived insult about your height , your level of education , your body sends a simple , instinctive , protective message . It will either say retreat or allow discomfort . It will either say find stillness or find movement . But shame . That blocks your body's intelligence of healing . It will say this is not how leaders act .

You should be better than this . And healing of that sort doesn't always require grand action . Sometimes it's just simple as listening to what your body is asking for in the moment , and these body signals are highly variable . It could be a need of rest and retreat . It could be a need of more engagement or participating in a specific activity .

Just listen to this profound intelligence and just honor it . Start by exaggerating and witnessing what your body is telling you . It does not mean you're over analyzing just in your thoughts . It means you're leaning fully into what your body naturally is craving and noticing its impact without judgment .

Imagine yourself tuning up the volume on those signals , giving them your full attention and treating them as a gift rather than a flaw . If your body asks you for rest after moments of shame or intense emotional overwhelm , witness it fully . Maybe you need to lie down , maybe you need to cover yourself in blankets . Maybe you need to sit down with a good book .

Exaggerate its demands . Wrap yourself in the softest blanket , dim the lights , allow yourself to feel the coziness of the best book , allow yourself to be comforted .

All of this can become a sacred ritual of recovery , a moment where you can consciously say this is what I needed and I've honored it , and just notice the changes that come in your body , without judging yourself for needing this rest . This is your body working to restore the balance .

But at other times your body might call you for movement or connection with other people . It might say going out and doing some activity is the way to process shame and heal . Maybe you want to take a walk in nature . Maybe you just want to feel the ground under your feet . Exaggerate this instinct by tuning into a mindful activity .

Express your thoughts , engage willfully in Ibadah . Maybe your body is craving a social connection , a copy date with a friend or a connected play with your child . Exaggerate this connection by being fully present , laughing if that's what your body present , laughing if that's what your body demands , crying if that's what it demands .

And just let the experience remind you of all of the joy and sadness and the spectrum of emotions that is available to you , with all of its safety . Witnessing the intelligence of your body is more than just responding to its cues . Embracing the intelligence of your body is more than just responding to its cues .

It's about pausing to truly notice the way your body communicates and embracing its messages without shame or judgment . It doesn't matter if it's rest or activity , it doesn't matter if it's movement . Every act of honoring these signals will strengthen your relationship with yourself , will strengthen your relationship with your body's innate wisdom .

Your body knows what to do . It has always known . It's your greatest ally against shame . If you let it be so . Today , I invite you to reclaim that wisdom , not by doing more or less compared to anybody else , but based on what you want , based on what your body is asking for . And your recovery might look completely different from day to day .

It might involve movement and energy in one day and it might involve rest and restoration the other . The ultimate goal here is to create a fortress within yourself . That's when you're rejecting all of the shaming messages that's coming from outside .

But until then , heal the second layer of shame , the one that comes from shaitan , blocking your innate healing process . You are not weak because you feel shame . You are human because of it , strengthening your inner self . So the external world doesn't injure you constantly . It takes time and intentional work and again , that's what coaching is about .

We do a lot of that work for married Muslim women in my coaching program . But if you're not in the program yet , that's okay . Until then , don't rush . Don't pressure yourself to be impervious to the world's effects . Overnight . Focus on the second layer of shame .

Instead , focus on healing yourself , honoring what your body needs , without judgment when you find shame in your body and you need healing , instead of spiraling into guilt or criticism and adding to the original layer of shame . Just pause , listen , notice the body's protective instinct and honor it fully .

Just ask yourself these questions and allow the answers to come to you in the next week .

What does your body ask for in the moments of shame ? What happens when you give it permission to receive it ? The answers to these questions are going to begin your healing . This is going to be your strength , and this is you , honoring allah's design of inner intelligence . With that I pray to Allah SWT .

Ya Allah , grant me the clarity to hear the wisdom you've placed within my body . Help me honor its needs without judgment . Protect me from the whispers of shaitan that sow doubt and shame . Bless me with the strength to rest when I need it and to move when I need movement . Allow me to heal in ways that align with only your divine guidance .

Ya Rab , make my body a vessel of your mercy and my heart a sanctuary of self-compassion . Ameen , ya Rabbul Ameen , please keep me in your daraz . I will talk to you guys next time .