Basics of the Model

Over the past few podcasts I've given you tons of examples about the formula , but in this podcast I will go over the basic definitions of the formula as concisely as I can . I will do this review from time to time because it is very important that we build advanced concepts on a basic foundation .

Our basic foundation towards superior mental health at Islamic Life Coach School is the formula CTFAR . It is an abbreviation that stands for Circumstances , thoughts , feelings , actions and Results .

It was taught to me as a model in my training , but I really think of it as a mathematical formula because you can do it forward and backward , and you can apply it to and backward , and you can apply it to others and others can apply it to you , making it the most easily accessible coaching tool .

People think thousands and thousands of thoughts a day and the formula can only be applied to one . So the real beauty of the formula is that it forces you to slow down your thoughts . People who've been applying the formula based on my previous podcasts , will notice that this skill will start to come more and more naturally after a while .

But if you're new here , no worries , just listen and everything will be clear . Formula is a snapshot of one thought , of one moment , of one time during one day . It increases our awareness of the moment .

To apply a formula , do a thought download for 10 minutes each day where you write down anything and everything that comes to your mind , and it is very important that you write things down rather than just think about them , because a lot will stay in your subconscious if you don't write things down .

At this point I will define each line of the formula as concisely as I can . Circumstances are a fact . Opinions , feelings , adjectives do not go in this line . It is provable , it is always neutral and it is outside of our control . For example , our past is a circumstance . Other people and everything outside of us all are examples of a circumstance .

Feelings are emotions or vibrations caused by the thought . It is described in one word in the feeling line and it best fits how you feel at that moment . Based on that thought , write out only one word about what you feel . Actions what are you actually doing or not doing goes in this line .

It is always based on the feeling listed in the F line and it is not based on any other feeling . If you are engaging in non-stop thinking due to a feeling , it is also listed here . This line can be very long , in contrast to the feeling line where you only put one word . Results . The result line is the end point of the formula .

It is always in line with the thought Meaning . Generally speaking , if it is a negative thought , it will give you a negative result . If it is a positive thought , it will give you a positive result . R-line is what you have created or what you will create .

If you are working backwards with the formula , then put the goal you want to achieve in the R line and then work backwards . If these definitions sound boring to you , it is because you have not yet applied the formula . Do yourself a favor and start applying the formula so you can see how life-changing it is . Let me start by giving you some examples .

C Dishes in the sink . T there are so many dishes . F Overwhelmed . A Procrastinate . Tell my teenager to do dishes and he doesn't comply . Avoid doing dishes . R Dishes keep piling up and there are so many dishes in the sink . Another formula for my physician friends C 450 signatures in the EMR .

Another formula for my thought Dishes keep piling up and I have proven to myself there are so many dishes to be done . More and more signatures keep piling up in EMR and I have proven to myself that I have too many signatures to do .

There are ways to make these formulas so that the thought serves your end result , meaning you think I'll get done with the dishes soon , I'll get done with signing charts soon , and when you take action based on these thoughts , dishes and charts will be done and you will have created evidence to prove your thoughts correct Works like magic .

Some other examples of the formula are C I have a 13 year old son . T . He is a good kid . F love . A . I show him love . I connect with him in his struggles . I listen to him from a place of love . R . I have a good 13-year-old son and I have a strong connection with him . Now let's flip this formula over . C I have a 13-year son , t .

He just wants to play video games . F Anger , I tell him to get off the computer . I yell at him . I demand that he do some chores around the house . R . He avoids me and he plays video games all day . We have a strained relationship .

For most of us , it is very difficult to write out a formula of this nature , because we will resist knowing that it is actually our thoughts that are causing this result .

But the beauty of writing out a clean formula based on these definitions that I've given reveals to you how much is exactly in your control and how much you are creating the result you are currently living At some level .

You might be afraid to admit this to yourself and , again , this is completely natural only because you're thinking that writing it out will make it real . Well , guess what ? It is already real . You are just not aware of it . All you're doing by writing out a thoughtful formula , is that you're bringing it to your awareness .

So , if you want it , you can actually do something about it . What a relief that we have a tool to bring our thoughts and results to our awareness . And if we wanted , if we really chose to , we could change it .

One thing I'll mention at this point is that I find a lot of resistance with clients when they're working with a belief that is hardwired in them and it's really hard to change . They think that their thoughts are a fact of life .

So in one layer of this formula , practice helps them see that most of what they're living through are thoughts and not facts , which is groundbreaking itself . But then clients run into a wall where they can't seem to believe a new , more constructive thought .

If you have believed most of your married life that your husband is lazy , you're not going to come to believe the opposite of that by writing out formulas . So at this point I invite my clients to just observe their thoughts from a place of curiosity and just stay in that space .

Every time your brain offers you the thought that my husband is lazy , also think about the fact that you're thinking this thought . Think of yourself as a neutral observer . You are an individual with a thought that my husband is lazy .

If you can offer yourself that perspective and that space and continue to do so with most of your heavily engraved negative thoughts , your resistance to change that belief will go down dramatically . So , in short , do the work , reveal your thoughts

. Do not try to change them immediately if you find resistance , but instead be curious about your thoughts . That is a gift of higher consciousness , my friends . Please utilize it . Allah , subhanahu wa ta'ala , has designed us this way for a purpose . Don't lose that purpose . I implore you , just be curious about yourself . You are an individual having a thought .

With that , I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala allows us to feel and think all of our thoughts . If he has promised us he loves us in whatever state we're in , then I pray that we find the same love and compassion for ourselves . I thank Allah SWT for giving us the intelligence and the tools to utilize that intelligence .

I pray for guidance from Allah SWT that we can consciously create results in our life based on his religion and his teachings of the Quran and the Prophet . Peace be upon him . I will talk to you guys next time .