TALKBACK TINGZ: Stuck on air with nothing to say 📻

Right, I've been listening to talkback. I found some more gold for you, Mitch.

I love this is my one of my favorite segments and one of the listener's favorite segments too, that all rave about it.

We've done the John Laws Special in the past, and this time it's like late night, middle of the night talkback radio.

This is my time slot.

This is my weekend. Oh no, even more graveyard shift.

So the listenership is down Monday to Friday. That you get to the weekends, you're talking to two people on it. Cat shit.

So the idea of talkback things is I bring you the bits of gold that I hear, and then you try and learn from it. You try and take it on board in your radio presenting in your FM job.

Very different, of course, very different.

Yeah.

Now, one of my favorite things to do when I'm at home back in the country is listen to the first ever radio station that I worked at, oh, which is fourteen oh four to two pick in Park.

Oh.

The breakfast show was a budge right, beautiful broadcast.

No, I used to work there.

I would do one day a week there instead of going to school on a Friday with my favorite thing.

Anyway, So a while ago. Last time I was at home.

In fact, I was driving late at night on a Saturday, and I heard something go to where That is literally my worst nightmare, even though I'm not a radio announcer, like, I've had equally fucked up dreams. Is this listener sent in about being caught in this scenario?

Yes, me too, I have.

So you're familiar with timing out?

Oh the bane of my existence? Right.

So a lot of talkback radio stations they have the news start at the top of the hour, and it's up to the host whoever's pushing the buttons to make sure that they feel the exact amount of seconds so that it sounds smooth when the news start.

And AM stations take it seriously like here a kiss, the news can play at five past six, like no one, no one, No one is listening to kiss for the news. But a lot of older people rely on AM radio as the source of news and they want it.

Yeah, exactly, they want on the dot. They've got to get that. So the presenters have to get the maths right.

Yeah. So so the hour ends it I don't know, five point fifty four, then you have to go, shit, I need to feel But it's never five fifty four, it's five to fifty four and thirty nine seconds. Yes, then you've got to fill five it's and thirty Yeah, I know, I know. I've got to fill that exact second.

Don't You have to time out a bit at well?

And I have to time out every night because I'm a national show, so I airn multiple markets, so I have to make sure Sydney all the Kiss stations, whether it be Kiss Melbourne and Kiss Sydney and get this. This is a mind fuck. And at eight fifty nine oh one okay and point one and one of second. The problem is I'm eight seconds delayed, so I have to I have to, I know, I know. So when I broadcast, it's actually eight seconds after it actually goes to air, so I need to account for missing. It's

Well, when I heard this, it was Carter Edwards, the talk back host.

Right, it was ten fifty seven PM, so he had exactly three minutes to fill before the news started at eleven on the dot, and so he had to stop talking at what ten fifty nine and fifty nine seconds.

Is that right?

Yep, yep.

So he had a caller on the line, Oh risky move.

Well yeah, I'm imagining that he's thinking, a lot of the time, you will hear on talk back to like, so we've got to get to the news.

Sorry, night, You've got to get to the news.

So I'm imagining he's thinking, great, perfect, I'll chat to this caller for three minutes, then go to the news. But then he had to cut the call short because it's something they said, and so then he was just stuck with no la. So, firstly, here's how the call went.

I do apologize.

That's the.

Hello, Hello, Look, I'm just calling. I spoke to the young man and he asked me what I wanted to talk about, and yeah, I did say relationships. And I suppose it does start with relationships a little bit. But what it really comes back to is the drought. My partner. I'm at home at the moment by myself because last night my partner cheated on me because the drought has just been so hard on him. Matt, if you're.

Out there, hang on, hang on, hang on.

You you cannot mentioned names, dell.

Oh sorry, I'm sorry.

People will recognize your voice, and people will recognize something about you and possibly could be a huge problem. Can you just cut to the chase, please, Kiara and tell us what you're going to. Basically, the point that you're trying.

To make, well, the point that I'm trying to make is this bloody drought is really screwingever on.

Yeah, I can understand. Sorry, Belle, I'm sorry, but I can't take it any further.

Firstly, we must acknowledge what the fuck? How does the drought make it?

Okay? I know, listen, I know my goyfriend slaughtered that girl, but the drought so hard on him.

Isn't a double thy one of the ten commandments? Yeah, if you could just get away with all of them just because it's the drought. Oh, he's doing a double stint for murder, but he's the drought. You must understand, Jesus.

I know you're busy spitting in people's eyes and heart and sees, but hey, George over here, don't slaughter him. The drown them drown bullshit. He's like, don't don't defame anyone. Go again, and she says it was the drought. He cut her off, like droughts someone's name.

Yeah, I'm really not sure why he cut her off, but that for one reason or another he did, and so he was left with Yeah, if I were him, I would just be thinking, fuck me dead. I've got all this time to fill, So do I play a song?

Not enough time?

It's like maybe two minutes. And I know that from working at two p K all of that network, their ad breaks are set to four minutes. You can't adjust them, so it's not enough time to play ads, not enough time to play a song.

There's no callers. He's just like, I just got.

To fill it to feel.

Yeah, he just kind of flailed and he kind of just kept talking as though she was still there. But anyway, I'll let you have a listen. So here's how he coped with having to feel all that time.

I do apologize, Kia, but from my point of view, from my end, it could go anywhere and light a fire anywhere, So I just can't take it any further. Sweetheart. Sorry, if you want to give us a call sometime and just be a little more aware of how to be radio friendly, I guess is the words to use. My humblest apologies because I understand that you would like to.

Apologies, that's the news.

It's eleven o'clock.

I was sitting there in my car. Imagine me driving on this wide open road. This is when I was back home in the country, and I'm just going, fuck cart, I'm feeling you, bro.

I would not want to be in that situation. He just had nothing to say or do.

That's a car crash. Also, him noticing that she's nearly saying, I'll give you my number. You called me such How many times did he reiterate the fact that he just wanted to hear her side of the story off.

The yet I don't know who.

I don't know how old that chick that called through it was, but he Carter is very popular with the elderly. He like goes on to like RSL's right, and he's quite popular.

I mean, like, as cringe as that was, I think I could do it. I think I could do it better than Carter.

I mean what else is there to say, though, Like if you can't play a song or play ads, like what do you do? You just kept repeating himself.

Yeah, it's hard, it is hard. But I think as a radio anoun said that, you know, that's the job. I do it every night. I don't know half the stuff I'm talking.

But also, like I was thinking to myself, wouldn't you just google something and start reading the news or something like, you know, here's something online. But anyway, I'm glad that you've come in with this cocky attitude and you're so confident because the challenge today, the talk back to challenge.

Yeah, no, there is. There always is, idiot, If you don't just listen.

To talk about it, then you go, thanks for listening. I always try and make you do something to learn from it. So over there, I've put a three minute countdown and after that three minutes it's got little radio static.

The whole time is to give it the effect God, you're good yea. So after that three minutes, the news theme kicks in.

So I want you to imagine that your carter and you've been thrown in that situation and you have to fill three minutes.

So am I doing that scenario with that caller?

No, not necessarily you would the call has just hung up up to you, and just how you'd feel that three minutes. And I don't mean an impression of carter, I mean as you like imagine you it happens to you on kids, You've got three minutes to film, just say all your sound effects have died.

Okay, so this is full and you can't.

Bring in me in Jenna. You're pretending you're alone like him.

Oh God, this is stuff.

This could happen though you're responsible for timing out. This could happen to you.

You never know.

This actually happens to me every night when I time out my show. But I just play What's New pussy Cat?

Yeah, you play like end credits music to in Leeway.

You could play it for twenty seconds, you could play it for two.

Sometimes I'm a minute under and I'll go, well, people are getting a minute of What's New pussy Cat.

I would do the same thing if you use myself that like window Leeway.

But Carter he had silence to feel, So that's what you've got.

I'm going to just put myself. I'm going to be mitron Kess, but I'm going to do the same scenario. So I have at least something's a lot to how hold on to?

Ready, So there's a lady Garguy's going to count you in.

Okay, let's see how you go all right, thank you for Thank you Bernie for calling through. Top ten bumpcakes for your Easter Barak. I'll just rehash the top ten bunkcakes Vanilla Vanilla.

Hang on, this is what you would actually do, chocolate. You don't actually have this information.

Out I'm Philly.

No, you can't just make up fiction on radio because that's just lies shit.

So you can literally have nothing to talk about.

Well, you'll figure it out.

Okay, all right, if you are listening for the news bulletins, we'll get there in moments. How many moments? Well, keep listening to find out what a show it's been. The number to call thirteen one oh six five. The number thirteen one oh six ' five. Also, it could be one three, it could be ten, it could be sixty five, thirteen one oh sixty five. Call us up. We're live until until we hit twelve, until that old clock hits the china, until we the brass is knocked a show.

Oh wow, I love how you still managed to go a little bit over and talked everything.

Then I made it. Now, are you shitting yourself? Or you just like whatever?

I shout myself after I got to the Golden Girls, because how many more shows can you rattle on about?

Why did you go?

Shows of the eighties? Because once again, I don't think you understood the challenge. Why, I said, Imagine it's you and you're in that scenario. You don't have a wife, Lucy, you don't have a son, Blake where.

That shit comes from?

The googled?

I googled yeah, but where does that bring in your family?

That was the content. No, that was the fictional character that I create.

No, I said, imagine you're you. Do you want to try and you're stuck on air?

Do you want to try it?

Not at all?

This is for you to have to do it again.

No, you don't do it again. I'm just selling it. You fail, literally a fail, But you have to pretend what.

You would do in that scenario and not what did you have a character name in mind, and you did that, Bruce, not what.

Bruce would do.

I want to do it again. Then I want to win. God.

Yeah, so I've got to do it again.

Anyone that's made it this long in the show, clearly they've got time in their hands. So I guess we can waste some more time. You've got three minutes to go. People, all right?

Ava Max on the show next Friday. I love Ava. If you know Lady Gaga, you know that people often get mad at the comparison. I've made it on the show before. I have a good friend Mitchell Coombs hates it when I could pay a Max and Lady Gaga. I say, Ava Max is the next Lady Gaga, and he says, you're the next fall. We laugh. Coming up on the Tuesday show, Charlie XCX new music out and she's in isolation. A lot of people are in isolation because of COVID. That's what it's doing to people. It's

How long do you talk for again?

I talked anywhere from like forty seconds to five minutes.

Why was that such atrocle so?

I don't know one's to talk to. I can't play sound effects, isn't it right?

But do you like music?

Else? To tell?

Just Me A podcast by a couple of mitches.