TALKBACK TINGZ: Dropping Dirty Words On Air 📻

Yeah.

So talkback teams is where we bring you some of the cooked shit that we hear on talkback radio. Because it's it's live, it's dangerous. You get these squirky old callers calling through to those places. And do you remember back in episode fifteen, so we're going back a while, we played you the time that a bunch of people banded together to sabotage Graham Gilbert's nightly quiz.

Oh we're talking India, yep, India.

Every question he asked, every single question he asked, they would answer with India just to piss him off.

Which Australian gymnast one Commonwealth Games gold in nineteen ninety for his performance on the pommel horse India.

Are you Marcus? Grow up?

Whatever here?

Grow up?

Good on you boys are going to be one of those nights, Robert, good evening. Hello Graham, how are you not too bad?

You'll have a sensible answer, aren't you get megaphone?

Oh?

And please learn more?

Please?

That was in our show opener for a while and it was iconic to have you ever heard of more defeated man?

Now?

Please?

I know God, you know the think about talk back that I don't think we've ever addressed. Like these guys, they have to time out to the hour for the half hour for the news, so they sometimes have to feel minutes of audio of dead air just to make it out to the news break. So you just the shit you have to come up with. It's a tough job.

But although it's not that hard to get through to Graham show. So that's why somebody prank callers slip through the crack. He does, Like we tried it once, room, He didn't even vet us. He just put us on air straight to it, didn't even ask our name off air.

Yeah, so he's quite used to.

Prank calls at this point, and he's got quite a short views when it comes to being on the receiving end. So he was asking his listeners about salt water in the ocean and what makes it so salty, and this old bird called through with a dirty joke. I suspect it's not actually an old lady. You can tell by the voice.

Oh you think it's a dot Wigan scenario.

It isry dot Wiggans. You can just tell by the voice that it's not a real person.

It is.

And the Sultan in the sea Eleanor is.

It the saltiness of the ocean.

Yes, my grandson told me he was looking it up on the internet. All right, because of all the seamen, is that your answer? All the seamen in the ocean makes it salty?

In twelve sixty nine. We will totally ignore that answer, okay, because I just wish these people wouldn't phone up and put on boggy voices. Alrighty, they think they're going to get away with it, but please, do we need to say it one more time? We do take all of your numbers and is an offense?

Okay? Is an offense to Communications Act?

Shut horse. I just don't think that's true.

You need to look up the Communications Act. It's even been to prank call someone because I really don't think it is.

We do it all the time. I have to do radio codes once a year, and no, you could call us have no legal binding, right, they can do whatever they want.

It's just so easy and so fun to get through. And I just love his overreaction. Yeah, like, oh please, we'll just totally ignore that. I have another example, yeah, or Graham, right, No, it's not Graham. This is a show in Melbourne on three aw and they were on the receiving end of a filthy prank call and their reaction. Oh my god, they overreacted so much. It's like, oh, laugh a little darln Oh they were angry. Oh they were furious.

Okay, So this is a three a W.

In Melbourne Nightline with Bruce Mansfield and Philip Brady on twelve seventy eight, three.

A W Newport. Toby's at Newport. Hello Toby, Hi, Bruce, phil Yes, Toby, how are you cool?

Good?

Thanks?

I have a joke? Yes, what's the funniest smelling thing in the whole old.

World, the funniest smelling thing in the whole wide world?

Caps you'll know? Oh no, what was? And anoh what a pity?

Toby, Never call us again. Play Never in your life even think about it and think, all right, we've dumped your Toby.

But there are people like Carmen and Queenie online and could hear that in the.

Fen And we heard it and Simon heard it, so you're ruined it for all of us. Toby. If you've ever thinking of tuning in again, just don't get a life and Toby, grow.

Up, Grow up. Carmen and Queene.

I found an answer to all the communications, so threatening to kill or cause serious harm to someone is considered a criminal offense.

Of course.

Oh my god, Jenna, do you think we didn't know that even that brand new information, drowning a human will send you to prison? Oh good to know, no, or.

Even threatening to do so.

And if the pranks doesn't threaten their victim, repeated calls can amount to harassment, stalking, or bullying. So that person wasn't doing it, no, committing an offense.

God, that call was hilarious. They were so upset.

Do you love how as soon as he said an Anchov's C word you just heard the hosts in the background and be like, yeah, like turning all the buttons off.

God, that's so funny, good joke. I'd have heard that one before. That's fresh good.

Well, yeah, I was going to suggest that we get dot Wiggins, your eighty year old ninety year old I can't remember ho old you, your alter ego, the old lady that comes out to play every now and then, because we haven't heard from dotting.

To beer no, I miss her.

I was going to suggest that we call a station and try and get through. But if it's repeated prank call, that's like, maybe that is, we'd have to call a different show for example. Actually, no, Grand's not even on at this time of day, so it's probably fine.

We could call an FM station.

Oh that would be way harder if it's an FM music station.

Yeah.

True, but you have to call and basically use a dirty word and see if they even notice.

Oh, like slip, because you know how.

She said the streaming in the ocean, that was like a double what's the word? Yeah, because she was referring to men of the sea, men at sea, which is the men, but she tied it in with the saltiness, so it's actually dirty. So we need like a hidden meaning.

What if I talk about the fact that my pussy won't stop it ching and I think she might have mites?

That's not even life. Yeah, smaller than lies, like words that sound dirty.

Beaver, bever fever, Oh, beaver's good.

I don't think we even have beavers in Australia though, so that's too obvious.

No, we don't. Maybe I can just say that I've got suddenly I've been I'm fascinated with beavers, and it's very late in life because I haven't normally been interested in beavers. But I watched something on Telly. What about the word rump? No, I want more vogel like it needs to be like I could say, whole, like a buttthole like Fanny Fanny flange. What's flange?

Ma?

Oh my god?

Flaps? Oh flaps is good.

Hi, I'm calling them having an issue with my flat. But what could you actually be talking about? Obviously not your badge when.

I'd flaps on, I've got a four wheel drive.

Oh yeah, my flaps are just no matter how much I clean them, they have it in grime and and it stinks.

Let's go with flaps. Oh my god, I like flaps.

I've heard otherwise about you. What about like we're using flaps, but you're actually talking about flapper jacks like the pancakes.

You're like when I.

Come home, my my husband loves to Nora on flaps. But I'm just having some trouble. The flaps are too dry.

Oh yeah, flap jacks. Is that too much of a like? I also don't think it's flaper jacks. I think you're mispronouncing that. I think it's flapjacks. Oh whatever, you upset the Canadian. Yeah, flapjacks like you.

You have this whole narrative that you like to cook your husband pancakes when it comes home from work every day. But you're having problems with the flap, with the flaps. Yeah, yeah, okay, I like that that work, and there's nothing more he enjoys more after a long hard day at work than my flaps, some moist flaps.

Yeah, and what I just start with them having some meritable problems and then because I don't want to lead with the flaps, because that'll that'll be a red flag, maybe a red flap.

Maybe when you speak to producer or whatever, you say you've got a cooking question. Yeah, on who's even on it?

I'm looking now, who's on air?

Oh okay, so same station as Graham and John Law's Brent Bultitude.

Oh yeah, I don't.

Think he'd be hard to get through too.

It's the number.

Let's try thirteen twelve sixty nine famously.

Oh yeah, of course, all right, let's call shit, don't get me yes, separ radio and work.

Who's cooling me me?

Sorry you're talking to me?

I can't that mean?

No? No, certainly not dot D dot Brent a be.

I've been with my husband four years and they're having meritable issues and I just wanted to see to stick it through.

Or is it too late in life to throw away?

It won't be long? Hold on, make the payments. You've got serious problems, absolutely serious problems ahead of you. Brian's next time, Brian, there we go? How are you? Brian?

How's the left eye?

The left eyes? Find it's the right eye that had caused me all the problems.

N what's this guy's name, Brent? The hostess brand? You just confidently call him Kent.

And I quite or he does quite?

Frank?

Hurry up?

What's what's the caller?

His name again?

Brian or something? Brian?

Phil?

Come on, Brian, boring story work.

Out here on the campaign.

I have loved your head and make you knew how you go?

You can't let anybody know that, Kenny, he's gotta You've got to carry on good talk, Brian, Thank you for you God?

Oh oh yes, sorry, Trance, you have conjunctivetis do you?

No? No?

No?

I wish I did because I could get over that.

What you gonna? What do you have in your eye?

I had a detached in my right eye.

This is awful. Milk will fix this side milk will fix it. Skim milk, skim milk, and you put it in nod you put it, you.

Put it in the milk detachment put it. How can I help you don't? What would you like to say?

Or the cap of the milk and you put your eye and you roll your right back anyway. I look, I'm not having a meritable problem. But I've been with my daughter's husband, Brian for forty forty forty five years, and I'll cook him dinner every night. He seems to enjoy it in it, and he seems to enjoy tea. And make him sweets, are making food, are making savory food, and he mostly seems to enjoy my my flaps. The

Cheering.

Let's take a break.

If it's easy, We're go on.

I think they hung up when you don't hang up on me. Let's take a break. Oh my god, Oh he didn't want to borro it.

No, I think you weren't subtle enough.

I really didn't weave it innan.

To be I cook him a beautiful stack of flaps, like you know it could be something else for you just went riding and when he got the black my drive.

Flaps, I got distracted by the eye.

You know what.

I felt bad because the poor bus it has a detached retina. And then here I am being a bastard to him, and then I called him Trent.

Isn't just me?

You should follow these idiots online. Search a couple of meters