Is It Just Me Podcast by a couple of mitches.
Okay, Mitchell, I'm so excited for our guest today, truly, truly one of the greats and someone that we were meant to have on the show.
Yeah quite a while ago.
In a long time coming.
A long time coming. The one and only Reuben Kay is here. Hellover about gorgeous.
I feels so good to be finally here.
Oh, they tried to silence you. We were meant to have you on this podcast the same week that you were on the project. Yeah, no, some people might have missed that. But yeah, a little something happened after our project appearance, didn't it happen?
Did you and Willie Darli? You're not get along or something.
I just think you're not doing something right. You're not doing anything right if you're not pissing someone off. And it was it was lovely for me to be back in the muzzle for once.
Yeah, I can imagine.
So hold on, are you are you happy to tell the joke you told on the project or do we not go back to that stuff because I've.
Been telling that joke for about eight years. Because I love Jesus, I love any man who can get nailed for three days straight and come back for more.
And all the hosts on the project laughed along, didn't have an issue.
Yeah, yeah, well of course, because it's a funny joke. It's a funny joke, but if you take it out of context, what you see is someone queer sort of poking a bear. And what I set up in the joke prior was that this is actually about me receiving hate from Christian people who use Jesus's name as a way to, as you know, gets done, use Jesus's name as a way to rile up abuse or hatred of queer people. So I told the joke, but it's also
a joke that has existed in many forms before. And I am not the first comedian to you know, go after or poke fun at Christianity. But I do happen to be a visibly queer one. So I feel like sometimes it's a case of they don't care what the joke is, They just might care a bit about who's telling you.
Yeah, you're an easy target for me.
It's just like I've just learnt myself. You just don't go then when it comes to religious jokes. I worked here at KISSFM, At the same time that Kyle Sandaland's made a joke about Virgin Mary, there were protests out the front of the station holding signs. Mitch was getting calls to his time slot at night with bomb threats and stuff. So it's just like, even if you think of a real Zinger, if you think it's harmless, just don't go there. When it comes to religion, I find.
I also think there's an element of people want to live in a free and open society of tolerance, but only if views that they find distasteful are not tolerated. You know, personally, to have a tolerant society means that the one thing you can't be tolerant of is intolerance. Wow, but it's an interesting time. I mean, we've gone very heavy in I know, I love it.
Yeah, we're all funny people. I swear to God we will get there. But let's talk about Ukraine.
Reuben, I've got some thoughts. I'm the only man less likely to pull out than Putin. Let's guy.
Can I just say, by the way, I was there at the Sydney Comedy Festival showcase which you MC night and some of the jokes you made that night. I was like that makes the Jesus joke on the project seem very fun child's play.
Yeah, this is the thing that I'm amazed that of all the horrible, awful, terrible, disgusting things that come out of my mouth and sometimes go into it, this is the thing. This is the thing that got me in trouble. It doesn't even have a swear word in it. It's technically a pun at best, it's a dad joke.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but it worked.
How does can you talk me through quickly? How a pr crisis like that unfolds?
Like?
Do you do you know instantly? Do you know in an hour? When does it?
Yeah?
How does do you do?
Do?
The producers go, Reuben, thanks for having you on. We'll get you back on another time. And then does it unfold the following days?
Can you refresh your Instagram and go, oh fuck?
Yeah?
I think we came off. Everything was lighted to shake, shook hands all the producers and said that was fantastic, that was brilliant. We loved it. And then as we left, I'm a social media whore, so I'm like looking and looking and it's gaining traction and it's got like positive, positive, and and some negative. I'm like, that's okay as a visibly queer person, that's what you get just as a
person or even as a person in the media. And then I think I went to bed, and then I was meant to be on ABC ABC Mornings the next morning, and I got to call at five am as I was beginning to paint, being like, I think we might just we might not.
Yeah down, yeah, okay.
I'll just go back to bed. And then I woke up again and I was like, oh, so then it sort of became Yeah, then it was just very interesting, like Baby's first scandal as well. So it became equal part sort of horrifying and fascinating to see how it all unfolded. But the best part was the Sydney Comedy Festival and my management, who were all coppying a whole
bunch of flak, absolutely stood up with me. Defended it, defended me, excuse me, all looked after my my mental health, and even you know, Sam Taunton from the Project reached out and said, hey, are you okay, how are you doing and all this, which is nice.
Yeah, that's nice.
He gets it as a comic. It's rough.
And also now you're doing an Encore show in Sydney, So I feel like in many ways, sure a fuckload of people were offended, but then now fuck load more people want.
To buy you know, light and shade.
Look what people wanting to buy the tickets and we're selling amazingly.
Yeah.
I can't wait to get on stage at the end More and it's going to be a show of a life.
Oh my god, Well there's two show. There's there's two shows. You're doing live and intimidating. If you're in Canberra, Hobart, the Gold Coast or Brizzy you can get live and intimidating. Then the Butcher's back the en More Theater first of July. What are the two shows you just do? Like I I got so much material, let me do too.
That's exactly it. I'm not only a pariah. I'm a genius.
You must be a genius, because the idea of doing two shows that once stresses me out. I'd be like, which like halfway through, I've been order.
I've been on a national tour doing three different shows. Oh my god, brain, I've got a late night I've got a late night show called the k Hole, which is a line it's a lineup show, right, So that's my grinder.
Take it.
I am currently under the desk. That's why I had soup for breakfast. It'll be fine. So The Butcher's Back is a huge show. It's a six piece band, full horn section, costume changes, the whole thing. It's a It charts my journey from childhood to the current day and the music in it is just next.
I don't know if you know this, but Rabon's got quite some fucking pipes on him.
Oh no, I'm well aware. Yeah that that that voice comes right deep from the k hole. I can only imagine where that voice rumiates.
And so how long have you been doing The Butcher's Back for? Because I can imagine it'd be quite different to like Opening Night. Now.
Yeah, The Butcher's Back has existed in one form or the other. It was born out of the first lockdown in Melbourne. We created it in twenty twenty and we've been touring it all of twenty twenty one. We were jumping between states, going fuck, they're closing the borders in Perth. Run run get to the airport, jump on, get on the planet. At one point we were in Darwin to isolate for two weeks so we could get into Perth.
So we realized we traveled ten thousand kilometers to get to Perth just to do the gigs.
Yeah, that is so a lot going from Darwin to Perth.
Oh, it was like it was really Cowboy for a whole year and I loved it. But the show has sort of been going in one form or another and evolving through since then. But we've never done Sydney and it's my biggest show. So I want to bring the big guns to the big smoke.
I love that so much. I literally leave.
You've been to my house meeting. I'm like a street away from the end Moore Theater and I can see the lights and the bannup from my bedroom window. So I will I will be there. I'll be watching.
I can't wait. Which we should go.
You're both You're both going to be there.
Reuben ka dot com for anyone else he wants to come along.
Yeah, get tickets.
I've got gift bags with Kemin in it, just for you two under your seats.
Oh, I can't wait, Lovely, I truly pretending to know what that is.
I know what ken mean is, but I'm a kind of gay room and then if I even go near it, I will have a heart attack. It's either nfhyl access or I'm not built for the party. Drugs not for me.
Yeah, but also, as Hannah Gadsby said, there's a certain game's favorite sound as a teacup hitting a saucer. Where's that pride parade?
Yes, okay, yes, Peters of Kensington in mascot, that's where that happens at the checkout.
And then Live and Intimidating is the show that we're taking we've been taking through this year. It's the news show. It was really forged in the fires of sort of the project. Oh and it's a smaller show. It's me, three musos. It's a total vibe. I welcome everyone as they come in with a hug, and I say welcome home because a lot of people have only just discovered me, and I want them to kind of see all of
the different facets of me. I want them to know that, yeah, I'm loud, i'm dirty, I'm a good time, but there's also something quite accessible, sensitive real about me.
I also feel, ironically that you're not that intimidating because if you're doing crowd work, you're actually you don't punch down, You're quite lovely to the audience, so they don't have any reason to be nervous or intimidated come into the show, right.
No, absolutely not, And in fact the crowd are really safe in it. But also they're holding me as much as I'm holding them. It's a really lovely intimate show. But we called it originally live and intimate. And then I don't know if you know Ali McGregor, Oh, yeah, she's a yeah, adam amazing opera sing a cabaret diba, married to Adam Hill's showbiz icon. She just texted me and said, shouldn't it be live intimidating to laugh emoji?
And I was like, stolen name change, Yeah, perfect lucking. That's the push that I get.
No writer's credit. You do not get a percentage?
Is it just when podcast by a couple of midges? Ruben? What do you like after you've finished a show? Because I've found that I'm obviously much newer to stand up than you, but I find that there's one of two Mitchell's that I get after I come off stage. There's one where I'm like, I'm going to keep the high going I'm going out, I'm going drinking, or there's like a little bit of post show depression. Everyone leave me alone. I never know which one it's going to be after a show, so.
I I often get the second one because I'm giving a lot and I'm very physical. So it the adrenaline drop because you're being pumped with a huge amount of adrenaline and a huge amount of serotonin and you've got three hundred people or at the end more seventeen hundred people like applauding and screaming. A human body is sort of not used to receiving that, and then all the adrenaline and serotonin once it's in you, it kind of
dissipates and you're left with her. You have to find a way to manage the crash come down.
How do you manage the crash? I'm asking because I want to know, because I have to tell everyone around me. No, No, I'm not sad. It's not like the show went poorly. I'm not bummed. I just fucking feel flat as buck after a show.
Sometimes two things you can either. I think if you can time a drink and being around people at the right time, you can keep the high going right and then like you might have a party or you might just be the transition is smoother, but I tend to just sort of be alone, taken off the makeup after, and that's it's hard to keep the buzz going when you're on your own. So why I used to get very depressed. And then my therapist, poor guy. Can you
imagine you imagine your therapist. Yeah, he's got a therapy, he should do it. Also a vet. Yes, he said. You need to realize the difference between sort of walking into the river with your pocket full of stones and what is a chemical drop? So rate it. Rate where you're at out of ten so you can get a sense of what the perspective is and think yourself, Am I about to drop the toaster in the bath? Or do I just need to eat something? Yes and go
to bed. You know, I think we all drop into huge existential crises about our lives and then we go, oh, actually I think I just needed some veggimut on toast.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
I feel like as queer entertainers, we all put ourselves so much pressure on ourselves.
It's like, chill the fuck out. We're just making people laugh.
We just want to have a bit of anal and we just want to have like seven hours of sleep, right, Am I.
Speaking for my all at the same time, Yes, yes.
Sticking in me let me fall asleep, you know.
Oh my God and other poems by Maya Angelou. I think. I think also there's a there's a reputation or there's a cannon of amazing queer performers with really high standards to really change the face of entertainment. So for any queer performer who's trying to break through, they're looking at the grates for inspiration, but also there's a little bit of pressure to follow through. If they hit seventy percent of the way there, burn it down, I'm terrible.
Yeah, so you're one of those people that I look at who I've started doing stand up shows for the last two years. I think, and sometimes I see performers like you where I'm like, fuck, should I be putting more attention into my costumes, me hair, me makeup. I just chucked my hair in a ponytail. I get out there, I'm all sweaty. I'm wearing no shoes half the time because I don't want to overheat on the stage. I run a bit hot Reuben.
You see, I suggested my costume.
Shit really needs some work, especially when I look at people like you.
Yeah, but the other part of it is you've got to find Everyone has to find the thing that works for them. You know, for me, it's eight pounds of lead based cosmetics, high heels and you know tea that we're taken from a horse in Turkey. But for you, you, it might be a top not you know, bare feet and a trickle of sweat, and that might be exactly what it is you need. I think, trust your body and what you feel makes you feel the best.
Yeah, okay, that's true advice, because like I look at the outfits and things you wear, and I think, fuck, you're fabulous. But if I put that on, I'd be so uncomfortable. It looks amazing, but I would fucking be we put off the whole show and performing huge heels and shit like ah.
I find it really difficult now to sing or be on when I'm not in a heel. Really so used to it now. I'm so used to it now. But also, no doubt you would look gorgeous and all these things, but stay away from my fucking gear.
On a threat, I do like that.
We're saying a more stripped back Reuben today.
Yeah, it's nice.
You haven't even seen below the waist yet.
I'd love to have you always been polished in all the things that you do on Sage, with your costumes and your makeup. Or do you ever look back at old photos and think, fuck me, I've come a long way since then.
I'm gonna email you a picture of the first time, or can I just show it on the show?
Yeah?
I can show you on the screen. Obviously, everyone here knows me as the beautiful and the gorgeous Ruben k. But what they don't realize is that the first time I ever put on makeup, I look like that.
Oh that's not makeup, that's face painting. My god.
Yeah that's buddings on a Saturday afternoon.
And I just wanted you to know I felt like I was serving high glam.
Just for anyone who obviously can't see this, it's a podcast. Just think Edwards is a hands.
Yeah, very Edwards hands.
It screams. Regional tour of cats is what it does.
Oh you've come a long way.
Wow, you have come a very, very long way. If you want to go and see Ruben Reuben k dot Com, The Butcher's back in Sydney. The end more live and Intimidate. We'll go rewatch that project of a laugh.
Reuben's so good to have you on. Thank you. Finally, don't forget Mitchell Well, question shit, yeah go.
There's one question that we ask every guest. I'm certainly not going to let you off the hook. I'm probably more intrigued about your answer than any other guest. Yes, So every guest we ask them to tell us a little thing in life they appreciate, just like the crunch of an autumn leaf, for a crunch of a good apple,
something like that, and then we add it. We add it to our list of things better than drugs and dick because we've got a lot of young adult listeners who might be in a stage of life where they're obsessed with drugs and dick, partying boys, what have you. So we like to remind them that there's more to life. So what would you What would you say is better than drugs and dick?
Resistance? What I think resistance if someone gives you pushback on an idea or says I don't know if we're going to be able to do that, or we can't do that because no one's ever done it before. That's the moment where I know I'm onto something, and that's the moment I know I've got to keep pushing on this or there's something here.
So I did sorry. I thought we were still in the gay sex realm. I thought you meant pushed back on a cock, and I thought that's a great time.
I know you did it is you feel sorry.
I'm sorry. But resistance it's got more of a more of a message.
I love how you've switched from no, I'm a quiet gay, I'm a quiet girl, to stay home. I couldn't disgusting, And now we find out that you're a funnel cake.
No, but but ketamine and beautiful making love. Making love is very different, Okay, there's.
A difference between making love and pushing back on a dick, Like where is there's no line, don't choose the no.
I love that.
So obviously that's something that you have faced and still face, Ruben, I guess is resistance.
Yeah.
Every time I've gone on TV and they've said you have to submit a script, and I submit a script, there's always someone somewhere going Okay, Okay, we just want to we want to do this, and we're great. Give me the parameters that I can wiggle, give me, give me what I can work in and how I can push my message into this within within your parameters or can I expand these parameters?
So it's like the opposite of needing validation. If someone tells you something it's not a good idea, you're like, it must be great, then.
A little bit, yes, I just think it's I think validation and support are necessary and fantastic and I need it a lot. I wouldn't be in this career if I didn't. But at the same time, when someone gives if there's a little bit of friction, I know I'm on the right path.
That's an interesting content. The last thing, that's the first time anyone has kind of added a concept to the list. The last thing was Tim Abbott saying, chock coach in Sultan is it better than drugs and dick?
But some some cas are on a different wavelengths to others.
And I say, right now, how about I'll add on to this. How about how about this then when you haven't started your chock top until the movie starts.
Oh now, that's good. I'm willing both in there, at them both. Yeah, at resistance. The resistance is the best we've had. But that's so true that that requires so much willpower.
Yeah.
Wow, but then you're going to do the awkward rustling of the plastic. It's so awkward.
Joe A lady unwrapped a suite in one of my shows in Melbourne for three solid minutes. And I know because she did it throughout one song. And the song was a three minute song and was the quietest, slowest, most tender ballad is a few years ago, and she spent it just slowly trying to like as if no one would notice.
Yeah, you've got to rip the band aid babes if you do it slower, just.
Yeah, or cough cough when you do them the first hair. That's what I do.
Yeah, I'd rather think you have emphysema shows.
All right, Well, if you want to go rubink dot com. Great to finally have you on the podcast.
Yeah, finally, treat.
It has been an absolute thrill. Thank you for having me.
Pleasure anytime, Pleasure Treasure So much money?
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