BEST OF: Surprise!!

Is It just Me?

A podcast by a couple of midges.

Hello, surprise, guess who's bag?

But you thought you'd heard the last of us?

Ye for the year full ju Here we are in your feeds as a little Chrissy gift. You thought you'd unwrap the last of your presents, but no, this little notification was the last little Chris Kringle you didn't know was coming.

Yeah, this episode's coming to you on Christmas morning, So Merry Christmas. And I get that Christmas can be a lonely time for some people, So if you're choosing to spend your time with us, we are honored to be part of your day. But also maybe you've popped this on while you're driving around doing all the Christmas running around two different relatives, barbecues and lunch and dinner, plants and all that shit.

Yeah, so much driving Christmas Day. I've got to do a lot of driving Christmas Day. And me with my one demerit point, I'm gonna be driving like a saint like missus, cause I'm going to be very very calm and considered.

And also, your boyfriend doesn't drive, so you're always stuck going desot.

Don't remind me. It really is horrific. And also it's not even desot It's like eating food. You know, when you eat a giant meal and you need an hour or two to veg out. I don't want to drive. I don't want to eat and drive nothing worse.

That's so true that it's almost a food hangover. Yeah, after Christmas lunch.

Yeah truly. I mean this is we've recorded this before Christmas. But listen, I love Christmas. It's my favorite time of year and I'm so excited for it.

And listen, We're going to be doing five Best Bits episodes over the next few weeks, just to fill in the gaps while we're on summer break, and each week it's going to have a different theme. So today, just because it's Christmas, the season of giving, we're going to be looking back on some of the iconic times that we have surprised each other. You know, we like to spring shit and each other.

Oh yeah, just.

To get the reaction.

These little best bits are great because if you're new to the show, you might have missed them or skimmed over them, if you were doing a binge or if you're an og, you would have forgotten about them even mit when we were trying to plan this, So I'm like, when the fuck did that happen? Did we do that on this show?

Oh?

My god? Yeah.

So we're not just doing the best bits of season four. We're going right into the archives. So if you're a new listener, perfect, we're just going to bring you up to So why don't we kick things off with a Christmas episode that we did back in season one? This was episode thirteen and your Christmas present for our third wheel price keep it? Jenna gave her quite a shock, didn't this?

Oh god, this is one of my favorite podcast moments of all time.

Enjoyed.

It is Christmas time, so I thought I might do something that'll set the festive theme for the year.

Right.

I am a lovely co host, and I haven't told you this was happening. We could have done a secret center, but I love you too, and what I've done is I bought you both a present and I haven't told you about this. Jenna, Oh my god, I was worried about Jenna.

To be honest, Jenna, you didn't get him anything, did you? No? Oh? Thank god?

Did you get me anything?

Well?

I don't know.

We're doing this, that's anyway.

So you know, I kind of like the attention, so I just didn't want to tell you because now you look like the fuck heads.

I see what you have done. I see what you've done.

I sat on the show. Okay, So I go to start with you, Mitchell Coombs. You, I know you're a brand boy, and you've always won one of those frank Green drink bottles.

Oh did you get everyone to oh, thank you Merry Christmas? Oh there you go.

That's cute.

This is like the same brand that all those wanky keep cups come in.

Yeah, they're very nice, cold you can put.

I'm actually not a brand boy, which is why I haven't brought one myself, because I'm like, I can't justify spending that much money on a frigging drink bottle when I could just be reusing an old Mount Franklin.

You know they don't have to.

Now I don't thank you very much.

You are a brand boy. That's fine, very nice and general. I got you something too, My god, j I got you a fish. What Merry Christmas? My god, Christmas?

How cute.

All right, let's go on with the show. Lucky you, Jenna Merry Christmas. What's up, John? Why are you crying? Jenna? These can't be authentic cries?

Are you freaking out of the fish? So obviously people can't see it's right now. She's got a plastic bag with a fish in it.

Yeah, I've just put it in the bag. It's very finding, Nemo Wes. You actually look a lot like that girl who's got the braces who we worked in the You look like.

Dead.

No, Jenner, it's a Siamese fighting fish. She's alive.

I went to the pet It shows some respect. Give it a name. It's your pet.

Yeah, it's a Siamese fighting fish. And I walked into pet bar and I thought, what animal perfectly describes Jennet. And I saw I saw this lethargic fish swimming in a bowl, barely alive. As I approached it and tapped on the glass, it barely moved.

Oh my god, you got her a fish on his deathbed.

That was someone's deathbed, I asked the guy, and I was like, oh, use this fish ouse. That's the temperament made. All they do is sit and watch. That is very very Jenna.

It's moving.

Oh it's Cissy.

We were talking about it. We thought, Jenna leaves alone. She could do with the pet ber. You've got a fish, now, enjoyed, Jenna.

Do I have a teen?

No?

You meant to put them in a take within like half an hour.

Yes, you can do that at your own costs. We'll finish the show and you can. He'll be right. Just put it in a glass of water until you get home.

Put it in my frank green water boy idea.

Well, my team have secret answer tomorrow.

And you're not going to re give the fish.

You're not going to give you a tank. Don't hope that Jonesy and Amanda will bring in a filtered tank. You need a tank, Okay, kidding, Say I got your tank. It's filtered, it's heated. No, Jenna, because I love you and you live alone, and I want you to have someone in your house with you.

This is the exact reaction we wanted by getting her a fish. She went through the initial like absolute freak out of what the fuck am I going to do with a fish? And now she's just like attached to it. Look at it.

Oh, it's so cute.

It's bright blue. Describe it, Jane, It's very cute. You haven't given it, a name.

Yet I'm going to call.

This is so hard.

Well, we have until the end of the show to come up with a name, so let us do the show. By the end of the show, we want to name it.

Of you to name it Sylvia.

We got that quick named after who.

Well, there's our TSL technique gone. We're going to hook people throughout the whole show or what the fuck are they gonna call it.

A breakfast show? And out's the ten thousand dollars Winter after six. No, wait, it's Julie, she's here after Sylvia Jeffries, I'm assuming the TV presenter.

Yeah. Nice. We've got to get that thing in a tank. It's starting to there's a lot of fish excrement in that bag.

I've got is if you've got to the corporate kitchen right next to the CEO's office. He walked in when I was feeling it up in his Irish, he was like, what is this? I said, Oh, it's a fish. He went for the office. I didn't approve that, but anyway, that's your fish. Happy Christmas, Merry Christmas. Regionally. Just wanted to give you the bag and just leave you just watching with a vision plastic bag.

I would have done that.

Okyo. The next surprise that we're going to be looking back on. This was back in episode nineteen, so still early on in season one, and this was when COVID was just starting to become a thing. It was sort of on the cusp of thinking, Oh, this COVID thing, it'll blow over, it's nothing, and starting to think, oh, this shit is getting real. Do you remember this too?

Oh?

My, I do. And it was like we kind of all were in denial. We didn't want it to happen.

Yeah, And you had a big weekend away planned, going to Melbourne to see Miley Cyrus live, and then I had to break this news to you. You only just got here, you only just walked in the building. I'm not sure if you missed the breaking news that happened about five minutes before you rocked up. It does affect you.

What is it?

Well, I've got it here in front of me, I've printed it out for you.

Is it everything right?

It's a post from Miley Cyrus Australia to reduce potential health risks in response to the current global health crisis, we are no longer traveling to Australia for the show I'm so disappointed not to be there, but I have to protect the band and crew. We'll still be donating to the bush fires. I'm sorry, Australia. I'll check back soon. Here.

Where'd you put this?

Facebook? Twitter, Instagram? Everywhere?

You've docted it?

I have not.

You've faked it.

There's stories about it.

Get it up on your phone, Jenna.

Now, okay, so.

Right, we've had to move the day that we record our podcast usually because you were going to Melbourne with your partner as surprised for his birthday to go see Miley Cyrus and I thought, oh no.

I have hard palpitations, bigger than usual too.

You actually didn't know. You hadn't heard.

No, I swear to you, I haven't heard.

I'm so sorry to be the one to break it to you.

I have spent weeks organizing his goddamn present. It's stupid, boy.

Are you still going to go to Melbourne?

Do you think I've booked the Crown? I've paid so much money for a Kingview City room. I paid for parkings today because I got a hurt tiker and I'm under twenty five, so I had to pay an extra twenty dollars.

Well that's all right then, if it's all organized, you can still have a nice weekend.

Due to the recommendations of local states shut out Miley to reduce potential health through she fucking twerks on every man she can. God for me, she gets a sniffle the global health crisis. Fucking Miley. But I have to do what he's right to protect the health and safety of my band and Crewe.

Very dramatic, isn't it.

But I will be back soon. Holy shit, this is absolutely devastating to me.

I also don't believe it when she says she'll be back soon. Last time she was in Australia was for the Gypsy Heart to Her in like two thousand and god knows what, when she still had pure long brown hair.

Also, she hasn't been back in ages. This is big.

I think that could be rolled on.

Oh my god, Well.

Happy birthday to Hayden. No lady birthday. The weekend will have been by the time this podcast is out. I hope you guys had a great time.

What else are we going to do in Melbourne on Friday night?

Oh?

Sure, there's an AFL game on.

They've got good ramen.

Well, what's that noodle.

Oh right, well, it's my favorite ramen.

I'm sure it is. Hold on a second, So.

Jenny, you lived in Melbourne for a Yes, I'm sure you've got some recommendations.

So that tram doing Jenny the painting class.

No, I loved the the leisure center near me. I did somber and everything.

When she lived in Melbourne. In story, every time I checked it, Jenna was always at the most bizarre event. It was like, oh, here I am at the Mickey Mouse forty that of Earthy Parade. It's like I hadnt knowed you that existed.

Oh there was this awesome place called Sovereign Hill and it was all gold Rush Stuff's like people from the eighteen hundreds, all dressed up and acting out these things.

It was there. Really are a spirit that died in the twenties, aren't you've really incarnated in twenty twenty?

Oh my god, I think that moment right there was the origin of this stupid running joke we have about Jenna having multiple lives. Don't you reckon? I know anyway, right now, let's take a listen back to the first ever time that we ran a segment idea of yours called instant interview with some one of these in ages.

Actually, no, it's been a long time. I think we've actually just been getting actual interviews and we've been preparing for them. They haven't been instant, they've been prepped. But this is ridiculous. This is a silly game where we book an interview and we give you zero notice on who it is, with zero prep, and you are thrown in blind.

This one was back in episode twenty six, And you know me, I like to be prepared. I don't like to wing it like you do. Although I think I've gotten a little bit better at winging. It's by Osmosi's being around you. But at the time I was very, very nervous at this instant interview. I had no idea who the guest was that you booked. Here's how I coped.

It's the segment you've been dreading and the segment that I've been just so excited to do, the first ever iGEM instant interview. You need to get out because I need to tell the people who you're about to interview.

Oh no, that's not fair.

That's the point of it. You can't know and the people have to know.

But get out.

Yeah, out tables and get out. Come on.

I was already anxious. Now that I know that everyone else is going to know. So you're going to tell everyone who it is.

Get out, stop your doc. Martin's out here, Go on, go to the wee wave. So right, he's out here. You don't even know who's talking about So, ladies and gentlemen, if you have Netflix, I mean who doesn't, You're probably familiar with the New Jenna. It's like the second trending show in the world. It's too hot to handle. It's like that Love Island show, but they can't have sex.

You know, everyone's talking about it.

Everyone's talking about it literally, and it's like rating its tits off. And one of the bigg look at him at the window looking it's like a koodle at the picture prothetic buy me, buy me, no, No.

When you say look at him, people can't see me.

Get out anyway. Harry Jousey is the star. He has three million, over three million Instagram followers, and he was hard to get. I had to go through my contacts. I've secured him on the line and he is here now on a hold. He's been on a hold, and then we're going to turn out myself and it's going to be me and you and you guys listening, and Mitch has five minutes to fill. Oh, come back in, take your seat, headphones on and on three. You have five minutes to film, Mitch.

All right, so can you at least tell me what they do?

Jenner's Microsoft, I'm going to and I'm merging.

They on hold right now? Can they hear this?

No, they're listening to music right now.

Oh right, So they don't know that. I don't know who they are.

Correct. They think this is a standard interview. They think this is being broadcast. They think this is the big Australian press merging the call in three?

Hello, Hello, oh hi, we've got an interview.

Now right, Yes, how are you going?

Oh I'm so good. Look, I'm sure for many people you need no introduction, but I'll give you that opportunity anyway. Introduce yourself.

How I am Harry? How are you, Harry? What's going on?

Oh? Not a lot, Harry? What about you? Have you been busy?

Right?

What's your what's your latest accolade?

I've done a couple of things on on Netflix. Have you watched that one? Have you got Netflix?

Yes? I have Netflix. Yeah, big show a really popular for those who haven't heard of it.

What is it?

Well, I don't know. I guess you would know it because you're the one interviewing me. It's a number one show in the entire world right now. I don't know if you've If you, I don't know.

I can't actually recall the show. Could you just let me know what it is?

Again? It's called too Hot, dandel Oh too hot?

Oh right, okay, that no, No, The thing is I've actually got really good pop culture knowledge. So that's the one that's a little bit like Love Island. But you're not allowed to poork right.

There.

There you go.

Now we're cooking with gas parry. That's yep, okay, too hot to handle? Wow? Okay, good thing you've got that in the can before the whole coronavirus thing. How long ago was filming?

It was in April last year, so we absolutely smashed it.

Yeah wow, okay, thank Christ. Won't be holding my breath for a season two. So not allowed to pork on the show. But I'm assuming before you went into the show you thought you were allowed to bang the contestants like a normal dating show.

Oo.

Yeah, but I still I still absolutely clap cheeks, so there's no holding me back in that situation.

Oh wait, isn't there a punishment if you do bang people on the show, or if you do even kiss or something like that. Isn't there some sort of penalty or punishment if you.

Actually I lost thirty two ks of everyone's the money?

You lost thirty two k.

Yeah it was very expensive, shag, but was worth it.

Hold on one second, I know what k is dickhead? All right, Wow, so you lost thirty two thousand and is that from the one communal prize money pool?

Yeah?

Yeah, but we made it back.

I'm actually loving this. This is interesting. I'm learning all about the show from one of the people on the show. Okay, wow, people would have been spewed with you, Harry, what a dog act?

Yeah well look I'm Australian.

So of course, so you would have been finger bashing people. That would have cost you one lump summert once.

Right, Yeah, I was, I was and everything.

Oh my god. Was it different punishments or different fines for different acts?

Yeah? It was. It was six k ahead, it was twenty k ahead.

I'm not good at maths, Harry but god, that really adds up after a while. Six thousand dollars per gobby? Fuck?

Yeah, yeah, no, there was a quick thirty seconds, so I was very happy with that.

Well, let's not let's not spoil the ending for anyone. So obviously someone won the prize money in the end. What was the original amount that you obviously deducted from for all your vigorous action?

Oh sorry, guys, I just I'm just sorry.

Harry, he's done it, his made Oh so he did.

Harry knew the whole time.

Harry, you fucking are I felt so rude for not having seen the show, but now I'm intrigued.

You're great as well. Done six k per block gobby. That's intense, isn't it.

Isn't it? Obviously the prize money every gobby you copped it was deducted from. So how much was left in the end.

Well, I made all my money back, So there's like seventy five thousand that we got up that.

I hate to think what you have to do to earn the money back.

Well, it is literally Hell, that was intense, but we smashed it. So you have in the final episode.

Bloody hell, you know what I'm actually intrigued.

Too hot to handle, was it?

Yeah?

Too hot to handle, net I've seen it. The number one show in the world right now, Harry Josey, you go give him a follow everyone. Harry, You're a good sport, all right, Harry, you got to go. You're a busy man and meet that with some hard hitting stuffund was like Tracy Grimshaw on a current affair. Yeah that's me, all right, as you go, you superstar. Chat to you next time, see you, buddy, bad.

Sya Okay, So I thought that he had no idea that I was clueless and that I was having to cover it up. If I'd known that, I would just would have owned up from the get go.

Be like mate, because you can't then there's no fun.

Now I know you can't ever do this game again.

I'm onto you, oh and I'm going to change it. He's the only a lister I know who my phone books.

I have to google this guy, even though I just spoke to him. Harry Who Harry Jousey.

He was famous.

He has two point four million Instagram followers.

I told you you said you wanted big names on this show, and I got him. Next week, Katrina around.

Tree can you. Actually, I actually like Katrina around his Instagram is a guilty pleasure of mine. Shed dope he is.

He's a beautiful looking boy.

Wow, thirty two thousand dollars worth of head I know right? Anyway should be going now? Is it just me?

The rude shocks of young adults food?

Now, As you heard at the start of this episode, we like to fuck with Jenna our third wheel a little bit, don't we.

We did more, you know what. It really goes in peaks and valleys. We do it for a while, then we really lay off and we hit her hard. Then we lay off and we come back.

And we have this quite frankly toxic segment of ours called gas lighting Jennet, where we disliked to make her question her own sanity. It just a little bit. Yeah, And for context before we play you this one. Over the course of our podcast, I have referred to and alluded to her slutty behavior during the Kentiki trip that her and I went on to Europe back in the day.

It's like, it's an is it just me mystery? No one really knows the truth other than you and the walls of that hotel in Prague.

Yes, it's kind of like what happens on Kentucky's days on Kentiki. But that doesn't mean I can't allude to what a huge horse she was during that trip. For some reason, she just never lets me elaborate on exactly you how many European men she plowed through.

Correct A, We're not slight shaming Jenna. We think this is fantastic. We love that she did this, to be honest, it's just the fact that she doesn't want to talk about it makes us want to ask more questions.

I know, the fact that she doesn't let me elaborate makes people want the information more.

Right, Yeah, she should just tell us if anything, should be smarter to just say the whole story. I never bring it up again.

And so back in episode fifty two, we decided to pretend that we were reuniting Jenna with one of her Kentucky lovers, But unbeknownst to her, it wasn't actually one of her Kentucky lovers. It was comedian Blake Pavey, who we had in on it. He was doing an impression and I gave him all the information he needed to play the part and make her think, oh shit, this is real. He knows things that only he and I would know.

You played it perfectly. This is it. Have a listen. That's the best. Today. We have got someone from your past.

Who will leave you to it.

Jenna. This is your instant interview.

Have your your guest is ready. When you are take it away.

Our marks are off.

Mitch.

Just see Hi.

Hey, Jennah, Hi, how are you. I'm good. I'm good. How are you?

Yeah, I'm pretty good.

What have you been up to?

Look? Not a whole heap recently. But do you recognize my voice at all?

Yeah?

Absolutely, I know who you are. What have you been up to over the past two years?

Oh Jesus, not a lot. I've just been doing a lot of thinking recently. But would you know, would you like to take a guess at where we met?

I think I know who you are.

Really?

Uh yeah, yeah, I think so.

You need me to give you like a like a clue or something like that.

Did we work together? Is this Lawrence?

It is not. I'll give you a clue.

Okay.

It was in twenty seventeen, yes, and it was not in Australia and Mitch was there as well.

Oh yes, okay.

Any ideas? No, Well, I tell you what I you know. This is a little bit embarrassing to say. I have certainly not forgotten about you.

Okay, so where are you living at the moment.

I'm currently living in Seattle.

Okay, yes, yes, yep.

Any ideas yet?

Yeah?

I think I know who you are.

Shit, I did not expect it this early. Who do you think I am?

Sorry, just fixing my microphone.

I'm gonna I'm just gonna say that. At first, I thought, oh, this is another little clue. At first I thought the tour guide Britt was the most beautiful girl on tour. But uh, but then you got on the bus yep.

Okay, yeah, I know who you are.

Who am I?

You're from Kentiti?

Well, well, well Jenna, I hyeah. It was a pretty wild night at the the iHeart Roma party.

Heart Oh yes, yes. We had to wear singlets and stuff and iHeart Romas whatever.

Look, I I drank so much so most of it's a bit of a blur to me. But the end of the night was pretty memorable. I have to see that much cool. Any ideas do you think you know what my name is?

Guys doing anything to get your father.

It's not really your former Kentucky love Jenna.

It's a hide actor.

Would we know how much you don't want to actually talk about your Entiki roots, so it's not actually then we would never.

Track down the Kentucky root because he's out in the front of your window, your hat right.

It's actually you know that guy of TikTok, Blake Pavey. Yeah, I thought, okay, I need someone who's good with accents. Blake, you're on hearing you?

Is hi welcome to the show yet?

I jetti?

How I am?

Oh my god, it couldn't be more housey.

That's so cold.

I'm so sorry.

That's okay. Just believe that it's not not him.

I love your TikTok.

Oh, thank you very much.

Thanks God.

I feel bad. I feel so bad.

Oh, you're sweet.

I had that was the worst moment of my life.

I had to script all the sleazy things to say because I knew that Blake just didn't have it anym. It's too nice, very sweet. I'm shaking.

At what point? At what point did it click for you? Jenna?

At the Roma party thing, the iHeart Roma Party.

We don't talk about the iHeart Roman Party do anyway?

We would never we would never actually do it to you. We would never know. We wouldn't, I mean we will. We did try to track him down, but he might have passed away. We can find it.

You did nail the American accent, though, Blake. I know a lot of your videos. People can check them out at Blake Pavey on TikTok. I know that you've done a lot of skits that involve accents and stuff. That's how I knew you were a man for the job. Look at you go on TikTok nearly six hundred k a blue tick.

Well, wow, it's crazy. I don't really know why, but you know, I'll take it as as it comes.

Your TikTok about coronavirus all the country sort of work. Yeah, very funny. That was the first time I saw you.

And you know that the chick that plays Sue on Glee, Jane Lynch, retweeted that you're kidding. Oh my god, Wow, I.

Don't know what You're attracting a gay and lesbian audience that's on this You've got Jane Lynch.

And the weird thing is that he only just like finished school this year.

Blake, I hate that.

How did you go with it was it was it stressful and was Corona making it ship?

I crew through all of high school, just been a bit of a good boy, but I sort of went off the rails in year twelve, so it was kind of just a bit of a cruisy year for me. So, you know, the atar comes out like next week, so I'll probably see how shit I did.

I wish we got to have a next week.

I want to know the time next week we need to find out.

Is that something that you will reveal publicly or you'll keep that to yourself?

Oh yeah, I'm going live when I reveal it. When at the text all fans all at the same.

Time as I do on TikTok or Instagram.

I'm doing on on Instagram, trying to draw a bit of a bit of attraction to the old Graham page.

Right, great, all right. I remember when I first saw his videos and I didn't realize how young he was, and then he posted something on Instagram in his school uniform and I was like, Jesus, he's so young.

He's like today a book week.

You're like, shit, So what's the plan for next year?

I'm hoping to move to Melbourne next year. I'm a country boy and I absolutely hate it. So I'm looking to get out of the country as soon as i can.

Where are you from again, I'm from a.

Place called Coralla in New South Wales. It's a little bit of a shithole. But but you know, Melbourne seems like the spot to be next.

You're preaching to the king of country shitholes.

Yeah, I'm I'm telling you, Blake. I was in the exact same headspace when I was eighteen and I just finished school. I was like, get me out of this ship hole and then give it around two years of city living. You'll start to get over it and you'll crave that quietness of the country. There's just too many cars on the road, it's too hard to park. You'll you'll end up missing it. You always want what you can't feel.

That's true. Yeah, I'll see how I go. I'll go for the two year period and just you know, do every single drug I can.

Yeah, And you know what, I think that's a great idea. And also if you if you haven't looked into contiguis, I think I should really look into it because I mean, Jenna has some great stories she can tell you. Off the offer player about her continue, Yeah, give it a whirl, all right.

Our next best bitch. This is a more recent one, back in episode one hundred and three, and god, I got you to blindly react to the most cooked TV ads I've ever seen.

Yeah, oh my god, this was one of my favorite podcast moments ever. We think Australian TV is fucked. We often listen to Australian radio, but this was an insight into New Zealand commercials and New Zealand television. And I don't think I've laughed this hard in years.

Truly, you got quite a shock. I don't think these ads would fly these days. Take a listen. So what they do in these ads is they tricky into thinking that it's a normal ad. So it might be someone saying, oh, and that's why I buy wheat picks. But then halfway through the ad, the person just has a dreadful accident and it turns out that it's actually an ad for accident compensation.

So there, that's very smart.

Yeah, they're acc think safe ads, and it's just so wrong.

The catfish ads they are.

They click back you into thinking it's one thing and then it's actually they have a fucking horrific accident. Yes, so I'll show you the first one. This guy he's doing an ad for paint or so we think he's painting his house, and then falls off his ladder.

Okay, here is first one. The job's worth doing. It's worth doing that. That's why I use new solace. Here blows on like a dream, protects against.

Oh, preventing fall around your home, securing your letter.

It's so graphic. You see him fall and basically break his back, and then.

And then he hold on. Then he moans and groans, and then there's a tight shot of the paint pulling out like blood.

See what I mean? Like that is so dark.

But I didn't even hear the voice over. What the fuck was it for?

Go back?

Hold on? Now do you wind it? Yeah, okay, this is the end.

But the voice of it just sounds like he's guilt tripping this guy for having an accident.

Yeah, idiots, don't put in spots.

It's just preventing falls around your home can be as easy as securing your letter.

I guess it is.

I mean, I guess and then it gets worse. Yeah, so this next one I'm going to show you. There's there's a mum walking around her land and she's doing an ad for Fruity Bara.

Don't tell me. I want to be surprised. I just want to know.

Okay, we reveal the horrific accident afterwards.

I'm sure you'll be able to hear it. Yes, add number.

Two kids the bundles of energy, but they need the rights next to keep them going. That's why I give my kids pretty buns that fool.

Preventing trips around your home can be as easy as tidying up toys.

She fell into a glass coffee table out of nowhere.

Sorry, she tripped into a King Furniture sold glass.

Coffee table, and then you can hear her like whimpering. Afterwards she's like, oh, it's.

So wrong, while holding the music BA while her kids play in the backyard.

My friend who grew up in New Zealand says it just gave all of us anxiety because every ad we'd be wondering, fuck is something awful going to happen?

Halfway through and then there's a drone shot from above the ceiling with this woman groaning while she's got glass in her abdomen.

Was what was the voice up all this time?

Let's go back.

That's why I give my kids pretty bus.

Preventing trips around your home can be as easy as tidying up toys.

Oh, she just tripped on a little Tonka truck. Poor bitch gets shamed not cleaning her house. It's a man's world. Clearly thinks safe. If Nancy really loved her children, she would have cleaned to her house.

Thin safe.

I also want to say, guys, the way she wails before she thoughts she's ready, it's.

Gold pretty bus fool. Close up on the Tonka truck spinning easy as tidying up toys.

That's awful. Is there a third one yet?

The last one? So this guy is doing an ad for home lines because it's moving out.

Okay, of course, I do you want me to not to spoil. It's better when you don't spoil. It's better. Because I did not see that woman head budding a fantastic furniture coffee table.

The whole body fell through the glass coffee table. I just feel like that shit doesn't happen.

Okay, sorry, add number three. Let's go wrong. There's one homelane that's preapproved, so you can move into your new home faster there's no fence.

It's totally flexible.

So if your lifestyle changes, spell.

Down the stairs, fell down a flight with his leg.

Oh, preventing trips around your home it can be as easy as taking care on stairs.

It's bent backwards.

Yeah, they showed his broken leg.

Oh and I knew it was coming too, because he was walking near the stairwell. See what I mean.

That's so messed up. Imagine if we.

Did that bullshit in Australia. You couldn't get away with that.

Imagine how much worse my anxiety would be as a human if that's the ship we grew up watching.

Oh my God one hundred.

I'm constantly worried something's gonna go wrong.

I imagine if we get it on the radio, like, imagine if God forbid what we spoke about before it's been shot and killed.

Oh God, what about if there you know those Amy adds at the Wandering and Catot, they're just on the beach and there's a fucking tsunami just halfway through.

I love you like a sh.

Imagine if have you seen that not Happy jan ad?

Yeah? Iconic?

Yeah, can you find that on YouTube? Imagine it's halfway through that do you have a car crashing sound effect? She's yelling at Jan out the window, not happy Jan. And then Jan just gets hit by a car.

And she'll forever live with guilt.

Yeah she would. Those were her last words before Jam.

Already hold on here, Ja famous?

Who's ad in the Yellow Pages directory?

Jan?

It's like, oh, it's going to run away. The boss is going to gallop me.

Jan's runn out of the office, just to a home, running through the street. Happy.

Oh, crossing the road can be easy as looking twice.

Oh my god, what's just played next on YouTube? You know this ad? This is famous?

It's muted? Unmuted?

Oh sorry, sorry?

Oh god? The dad? Why did they make a great all of China.

Kids?

I was not expecting that. You really have to catch them off guard.

Jim Smelly left untrimmed. What about it keeps playing big Aussie ads, you know those like.

Infomercial kind of ads that happen like brand power helping you buy better. I'll get that chick in the supermarket. Im I have the shelf just or the roof collapse above.

The whole ceiling cave. Int me see, I've got an earthquake sound effects on an earthquake.

Yeah, I surely have nothing surprises me with your sound effects board, I've got them all. Oh my god, how long have they been doing these brand power ads?

Oh my forever? I used to If you search.

It on YouTube, that looks so old. Look it's one from the nineties.

Where are the new ones? Here we go, Belvida brand Power. I actually buy Belvida, So let's see. Let's see what they're flogging on Belvida. She's in the shopping center.

Breakfast gives us energy to kickstyle today, but fitting it into our morning routine can be the hard part.

So try Belvita Breakfast biscuits. Belvita Breakfast biscuits.

She's in the tasty the ceiling's coming down.

You'd need her going in the background too to make it really like these New Zealand ads. What about.

God?

No, this is fucked well. You know how you've got the traffic reporters up in the helicopters. What the helicopter it's usually on like Channel tann like in the chopper.

How don't they do the ones here is the eyes in the sky. You can get one up right now, of course? Yeah, oh easy, we've got the of course, you've got a traffic reporter sound effect.

Flooding has closed the Northwi.

The wind is.

The road just down to the bridge that he's closed.

Flight safety training can be.

Oh my god, Microsoft flight simulator, it could save your life. And I've got one ready. What about I love this ad growing up. It's actually one of my favorites. My dad loved it.

What is it?

The good guys? Oh yes, I remember that this is the original. They're in the store getting ready to sell to the people snow blazon in the middle of a blazard They're like.

Oh, our acorns are that good?

Oh?

Please? That I ever bleasant sound of it? What would you ever need that? I've got plenty for days like today. That's fine. You see what I mean when I said this is dark enough that it kind of works for our humor. I think we're dumb.

We've gone more and I found one more sound effect. Please, and I know just the show it to work perfect?

Oh my god.

Okay, yeah, this is everyone's tuning in Channel nine to what's their favorite show. It's the Bark, It's Scotty Cam's Scotty Cam on the roof.

What's gonna happen to Scotty.

You're on the work side.

In the middle of all the Rennolds.

Is gonna be a good episode? I mean, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the pool. Hold. No, oh, Scott has fallen into the woodship.

We're still talking.

That's his head. He's down. Scott's gone.

Yeah. See, I told you it's messed up.

Yeah, that's fucked.

Would all be draumatized if we go up in New Zealand?

Yeah, that's awful.

What can we do with an ad for Huggies nappy?

No?

No's where I draw the line. Is it just me? All right?

Now?

Cheery?

I got to give you a trigger warning because the next little surprise that we're throwing back to this was around episode forty five, and this is when you revealed a childhood trauma of yours. Apparently you were rushed to hospital after a little DIY incident. You had a little microwave meal that you invented yourself. Remember this, ringing a bell?

Many a bell's Yeah, my doctor's calling as we speak. This was something that I used to do as a all the time. I used to get cheese stringers, which is like a cheese stick, right, and I would not get one, maybe not even two. I think it was three. And what I do is I'd take them out of their wrapper and I'd intertwine them into like a little rap and then roll them into a bowl, place them on a plate, microwave it for thirty seconds, and it will become a cheesy globule that I would then eat

So you're revealing this childhood trauma. And because I'm a bitch, I was like, I'm going to surprise him. I'm going to bring the cheesy stringers in studio and get him to replicate this deadly recipe. Here's how that went.

Oh my god, I haven't had these since the day this happened. I'm not jogging.

How old are you now?

Twenty? Just turn twenty five?

Is that nine years?

No?

No?

No, you're sorry. Yeah, nineteen years.

Right, nineteen years since I've even touched a string. Look at the branding. It's all changed.

Yeah, we don't have to no, no, do it, do it? Do it please?

I mean I'm open, I will. I can't eat it. I can't eat it.

I wouldn't make you eat them. You're going to have to call an ambulance.

Body.

I just want to know.

I just want to know what you did, and we'll post this video online to what exactly you did and then what it looked like after being microwaves. So you're gonna have to step out.

Okay, pass me the stringers. I won't have a look. Oh my look, mister stringer eight back since eighteen ninety nine. There you go.

But game is a good game. This studios gott to implode for you. Say that, what sort of cheese is it? Is it mozzarella?

Oh it's just pure mozzarella. Have you ever had a cheese stringer in your life?

I used to have cheese kicks, but not strings. I think we've got the home brand because you know drought.

Yeah, of course, have a look a look and you can see the oil in them.

Oh yeah, that's right.

Look look at them, Look at them, look at it ready, I just come right out. Here's what I did. It's all coming back to me. You pull it into pieces like this, and you sort of stack it like little pieces of firewood, like you're on a camper tree.

It actually looks like you're building a bonfire out of cheese three.

And that's the point. Can you see this now? It kind of looks like a ball, right, or like an object that would sort of block your entire lower and testine. So I'm going to run to the.

Bad like I pictured a plat.

Yeah no, no, no, like like a cheesy braid. No, no, it doesn't. It doesn't look bad. It just it doesn't taste bad. It's brilliant, like it tastes phenomenal. Stay there, okay, talk about yourself.

Wait, can you get me a beer from the fridge file you're up there? Yeah, I think you hit me. I'm very curious about this. I mean, for all we know, this could actually taste dipe and it could take off.

It could it.

Don't name it after him, it'll be the cheesy stringer a La Mitchell. Wouldn't it be great to have a food named after you?

I want a food named after me.

But I don't know what. Yeah, it's like, keishe Lorraine? Who the fuck's Lorraine? Could you google that? Who's Lorraine?

Only want to know?

And while you're at it, open a new tab. Actually, maybe we can. I can help out. Are you google who the Fuck's Lorraine? I will google Who's Diane? Steak Diane? Diane? Who is Diane? Okay? Comes up as one of the most recommended searchers. So clearly I'm not the only person that's wondered who the fuck Diane is?

Yeah, the same with Keish Loraine.

It is often attributed to oh the whole music's right now? Okay, now we have to feel the silence. So apparently Steak Diane is supposedly named after the Roman goddess Diana or Diane Why?

Why?

Why do they credit her?

Why?

It was very popular in the fifties and sixties. I feel like that after her time, I knew her.

Personally, and that was ages before then.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure yours and the Roman Goddess Diana's parents used to take turns car pooling.

Of course they did.

Of course they were very close, very close. Keish Lorraine, Who's Lorraine?

Lorraine isn't a person.

Where did it come from?

It was named after the Lorraine region of France.

A region of France called Lorraine was about the same name as the Lorraine.

Gotcha, Well, I was going to say how exciting it would be to have a food named after Yes, it's a secret reference.

I've got the cheeseball, have my beer?

Thank you, I'll do it on the desk.

Do you need me to read the music? Yeah?

It ran out, but I was fine with them.

It was stressful.

Are you ready for.

That's the trick I've got opened on a table?

Ed?

Sorry, carry on? Do you have a name for this?

Cheesey ball?

Cheesey ball?

Here's my cheesy ball. This actually looks delicious. You're gonna try it? You have to.

You've been finger bashing.

And are you ready for cheesyball reveal two? One?

Oh yeah, that's groat.

It's actually reduced in size, like there's less It looks like there's less cheese on the plate.

And it's preservative, so I think the microwave burns that out.

It actually kind of looks like a liver.

Yeah it does. It's got a real organ look to it. There's an oilychine.

It just looks like slime. I kind of want to squish it sticks to it. Oh my god, I'm tilting. I'm tilting the chopping board sideways. And it's not anything that's horrid.

Almost looks like a bull's testicle.

It looks like a camel's snot rocket, it really does. It's picked up a little bit.

Go oh.

Oh god.

Tasting it, I mean it's just cheese.

The taste is fine, but the texture is I'm chewing it, but it just doesn't seem to be disintegrating, which is the issue you had with your organs. Yeah, like it feels like do you remember when you were like young and you might have chewed on a bouncy ball or something something that ought not be chewed on. I feel like I'm not supposed to swallow this feeling.

You're definitely not to be so, I honestly thought I made that very clear with the previous story of Michell.

It's very plastic.

Do you want me to get my mother on to corroborate? Does prove that this actually happened?

Oh?

I never doubted you for a mind.

Do you believe the story?

Yeah?

Oh great, No I can't.

Yeah, that is not going I'm calling.

My mother because I want to prove you one thing ready, just this is not prepared. I have not planned with you. She might not answer because private number. She probably will, She'll go to the nursing home from.

Hello.

Hi, It's me Mitch and Jenery here too. We're doing the podcast.

Hi Hi, Hi, Hi.

Mitch has brought something in studio for me. And think this is like one of those you know, articulate you playing at the end when you both have to get the same answer and.

You in yeah, okay, sorry, what's the question, Mitch?

Question? Mitch has brought one food item into the studio that I'm banned from eating that you banned me from eating from my childhood after one severe incident.

Okay, I know exactly what they are. I can't, but I can't think what they're called. They're like cheese, she did, cheese raps, cheese, cheese rollies.

String streets, well done, stringers because he ate so many of them that they got clobbed in his bow and then we had to.

Have They thought it was his appending they had to have emergencies to surgery.

Well, I've just asked him to recreate the dangerous recipe that sent him to hospital in the first place. Four cheesy stringers microwave together, and it really looks unsafe to be consumed. It looks like play though.

They've got it in front of me, Mum, they want me to eat it again that people assuring me to eat it.

Or it looks like someone left a hot glue gun on and the stick melted and you pick it up off the table. Don't eat that.

That's it.

You've got to try and you know, extract that out. You know, you've got to pass that, and it's very hard to pass.

Oh do you remember the passing of it?

Oh that was the hard bit that really I.

Mentally blocked that out. That didn't happen for me.

Yeah, that was bad.

Oh ship was he like a woman in labor like.

That had to come out and it was yeah, a lot of mover coal yep, and castor oil.

Oh well, to get it out, to get it out?

Oh God, there's more and more layers to this story. Imagine you said it was just one laxaty of an out you get, but no, it sounds like quite appropriate.

Canola oil had two long fingers.

Yes, God, layers?

Oh goodness, all right, thanks mum love you have fus Bye, Mamma cheery there.

I really thought you were dubbing me in there. I was like, oh, she's gonna blast me because I've given you food your band from. Look at you eating them in their normal state.

It's delicious. I don't want you to take cheese blood and moved on. I'm a new man and I don't need it.

What made you think to microwave them together? And that awful blob like that?

I was curious kids, you know, don't stop curiosity. It's what keeps kids going.

Do you know what I used to do? This is not food related, but I don't recommend this. But you know those iPod shuffles, Yeah, the one that didn't have the screen. It was at the buttons.

You clip it on your brass trap.

Yes, you just kind of skip and hope for the best. I had one of those and I accidentally left it in my pocket. It went through the washing machine, so it was water damage. Every morning before I went to school, I would microwave the iPod because the heat would actually make the moisture inside of preak and it would give me around three to four hours of use and then it would just die again. So I would just microwave it every morning before school like it was a bloody

You're listening to? Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Oh, ky dope idiots. We're gonna love you and leave you. I just thought we'd pop in and give you a little Crissy Day surprise. But don't worry. We're back next week on New Year's Day with the brand new Best Bits episode. We've got a few of these to go, four more left and next week they're all themed. Right, So next week's theme is the best of impressions that we've done on the podcast.

I wantna know if we even have enough to fill that. Our impressions aren't got your ida. Buttro's impression is good. But we're not good at it. We're not known for impressions. We just do them a lot. They're not good.

You'd be surprised. Look, I've got to give credit where it's due. I did enlist one of our podcast favorites, Callum Cantrill, to produce this best of a series, And because he's just got a far better memory than you and I, he remembers everything we've done, and so he came up with these and I was quite surprised at how many impressions we've done over time. So that's what we've got in store for you next week. Best of Impressions.

How fun and very quickly. We may as well give them a little little, you know, taste of what we're doing. What are you doing, Christy Day, what are you doing right now? When this episode comes out to you with the family.

I'll be with Sean's family. I would discuss the first time ever not being at home with my own family.

Yes, of course, of course.

But we'll be heading back to Bogengate, like I've told you, She'll we recorded to this last yeme.

No, I'm just just you know, give people a little excuse to listen. She'll we record two options. You're saying it was terrible and it was great, and then we can edit one A and if depending on all right.

Like I choose your own adventure, okay, option A. It was so beautiful to spend Christmas with Sean's family. They're just such wonderful people. I felt so welcome and embrace and it was just lovely.

Option B.

Oh, my fucking god, I can't believe this is my life now. I can't do family shit. They're just so lovey dovey. I'm not family oriented like them.

I don't belong. I have a feeling we'll get to option B to. I have a feeling you'll say option A, but you want to say option B. Welcome to my life, Welcome to family life. You'll be converted soon enough. You'll love it. It's good fun.

I feel like Option B would be more likely if I was dating you. Yes, like your family seem absolutely lovely, and I think that's great and I admire that. But I feel like I'd be smothered by your family. They would embrace me a bit.

Too much, oh, they would. It would get way too much. The gifts, though, the gifts are amazing from the Cheery family. Anyway, listen, have a great Christmas. I'm just with the family. I'm meeting a lot of ham at this time. I'm going to be full of honey roasted ham. I'm gonna be having my afternoon nap and thank you for listening to the Little check in Christy Day episode.

Sorry, can I just before we go you mentioned ham. I got to ask what the fuck is with your family tradition doing ham and chip night.

I've spoken about this on the show, haven't I.

I'm sure you have, but it's never ever made sense to me.

Well, everyone's asked about this. I put it on Instagram and so many messages. Ham and chip knight is a Chury Macbeth Killpatrick family tradition. There are big three families and it's thirty five. It's thirty fifth year. It's annual. We do ham and chip night every year on the thirtieth of November to my gat Gonzo, my grandfather's birthday. But when he was young, he and my nan used to have a business next to a deli, and the deli at Christmas would give my grandfather a ham every year.

Did that combination work. Ham and chip?

Oh my god, it's absolutely divine. It's salty ham with really yummy crispy also salty chips. You put a bit of mustard, maybe some cranberry sauce or some mint jelly. It's all about the condiments. We did add coles law last year, and that was controversial. And we did also add a sweet potato fries one year, but that was someone's partner and that was their idea, and we didn't love the chips. And then they're no longer.

With this, and they've been shunned from the family.

They're no longer in the family. We no longer do sweet potato fries, so we take it really seriously.

They're now as strange.

They're now its strange, and we no longer do chips. But Ham and Chip night is in its thirty fifth year. All the family get around and it's all we eat. It's the best night of the year. We love it. It's like our Thanksgiving.

Hey, Jenna, oh wait, it's not. Can you make a note Cheerry? Next year when we're back in season five, I think I'm going to have to do a Ham and chip taste testing, because on paper it doesn't sound like they go well together.

Yeah, well, then I'm going to have to bring them in because it's got to be leg Ham off the bone carved. It's got to be really hot chips with chicken salt. And I'll bring the condiments. I'll bring a little chaguteraie board.

Gorgeous. Yeah yeah, my mum gave me a chacuterie board. It's like a housewarming present. And I don't know when I'm ever going to use it because I don't I'm not the sort of person that does cheese platters. I don't know how to do them. I just go right, everyone's come over a lord of pizza.

Yeah no, maybe you should to you cheese platter eras people love cheese platters. They go off, people love them. Maybe it's time I'll contribute. I'll show you I make a lovely security board. I also eat a lovely security broad all Right, new episode coming another best bits on New Year on twenty twenty three. Next episode twenty twenty three. I'm exciting on Jen first.

Ye We'll see your next year.

Idiots, see you in a year, idiots, love your merry.

Christmas is It Just Me, a podcast by a couple of miches.

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