BEST OF: Impressions

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of mitches.

Oh, hello you, Hello Mitchell, Hello you, Happy new Year, Happy new Year, h and y.

Happy to you have mirror Christmas? Christmas is over.

We're dropping in a little mid break, drop in to say hello, how is your Christmas?

Mitchell?

Yeah?

With gorgeous Actually yeah, commit just talk about where I'm currently broadcasting from.

Well, I didn't know if you've broken in if we were allowed to talk about coming direct from?

Is it the bogan Gate Baptist Church?

It's the Anglican Church, I'll have you know.

I'm so sorry.

The Wi fi's two shit at the farm to do this remote recording thing. So I stole mum's keys. She's on the cleaning roster for the local church, so I sole the keys. I've come in here where it's good reception and good air con so we're good to go.

Oh my god, guys, there's like an orange hue. Is the sun setting? Is the world ending in bogan Gate? Or is it stained glass? It's got to be one of the three options.

Yeah, it's like a beautiful yellow stained glass.

So I look like I've got some sort of horrible liver infection.

I wouldn't say gorgeous. You'll like a Jaunda's baby. It kind of looks like you've got that trump faked aan, like the real orange around your face. This is hideous, but.

It's you know, you've got to get what you can get in bogen Gate.

It's just the light of my Lord and Savior.

Of course he's shining down upon its. He does love us, he said it before. He's a listener. I've read his review. Have you there with Sean? Quickly? Tell me how is Sean the new boyfriend? How's he liked bogan Gate for the first time.

Oh, he's actually come to church with me. We've got to repent. He's here if you want to have a chat.

He's get out of the confessional booth, high.

Sean, Please, I mean Jerry wants to know how you're in dooing bogen Gate. Hey, Mitch, it's good. The farm's lovely, the family gorgeous, having a great time. What about the town itself bogen Gate?

Oh, I was going to a polite little say anything about it.

When we first drove through bogen Gate, he said to me, this is confronting.

So there you go. That tells you all You need to know.

Got it got Well, let's be fair to Boging Gate and the Forbes area. They've just had floods, right, and they had fires like two years ago whenever it was, So it's been a rough couple of years.

Yeah.

It either doesn't rain at all or rains far too much. So that's like really overgrown and full of weeds. It's not that pretty at the moment. For whatever, How was it?

How was a bog and Gate Christmas? Because you there with Jane and Mark and that would have been nice.

No.

I was with Sean's family for Christmas? Remember, Oh yes, sorry, but I'm all meeting bog and Gate. You saw them, you know, around that weird five day period that we're still in this technically in my mind, like the Christmas tree still up, the decorations are there.

It's extended Christmas. Was it good with the family, Yes.

It's been gorgeous.

And I will say this anyone who listened to last week's Best Bits episode, we're doing five in total. This is the second last week's Do remember, Mitch, we recorded alternate endings How is Christmas?

With Sean's family? Option A was I loved it? Option B as I hated it can confirm Option A. It was gorgeous.

Option A play. Did you actually think we had to pull the emergency? Option B? Did you have it ready to go?

I left them both in just in case? Come my basis? Now they said it's twenty twenty three, now officially.

You remember how we said that we're feeling way more optimistic about this year.

Yes, I already am. Yeah, so far?

What are you viving?

Listen? I'm feeling good. I've got a glovely suntan. I've got nothing on the agenda. I'm feeling very relaxed. I haven't had a haircut all year, and I'm feeling good. You know, it's very early to haze. But how I had to make that joke? How are you feeling? You're feeling good? Yeah?

Good?

With there any daggy people in your life that made that joke? Oh see you next year?

Oh yeah, one hundred percent. My uncle always does it right before, like in the countdown. He'll send us a text.

Yeah.

It's like with all the gags and it's absolutely ridiculous. But you know what, I think we should get rid of each I'm on the fire. Is it just me or should new Year's Eve texts be done with, Like, guys, don't you don't need to send us a text wishing us a happy New year like chains.

I haven't gotten any to be fair, really know. I got a couple from marketing ones No, not marketing.

On anytime fitness. Fuck, they won't take me off the roster. I can't subscribe what anymore? But they don't.

Listen to me. Yeah, like a happy New Year with like a little star emoji and make good health and mary tidings bring out like na, I don't want that. It's very MSN messenger chain.

May what's your feelings on the Christmas letter or like a like a Christmas car I like, not a card. I'm talking a letter that like it'll be the cheery family Christmas letter. Your mum might write, this is what Mitch got up to, this is his achievements, et cetera, et cetera, And then they send that with every Christmas card so everyone gets like the family update.

It's like a report card for the year. What if you didn't have much going on? Good bow movement last month for Uncle Greg, he's and the past was lanced from his ingrown toenail in September, he's feeling much more sprightly. Now that's not for me, but I will say when I have kids, I want to do the dorky christmaswater family photo, dog and everything and send that out more to be stupid than anything.

I feel like the Christmas letter is kind of cute because it's kind of like if you keep a copy yourself, you can look back over the years and read your own Christmas letter.

But they always just include the good shit.

Mine would just be yeah, I had forty nine shocking hangovers in two months.

Like, yeah, I would include the shitza.

Oh why don't we do a realistic one, you know, like had shocking diary that lasted a month, really hated work for with partner this week, truly a terrible year. Merry Christmas, I would love that.

Well, No, that's not our attitude for the new year. Remember, No, our attitude for the new year.

We're feeling hopeful, We're feeling good. It may be early, but we thought this is a nice little kickstarter into the new year. You don't have any brand new episodes. You're getting these little mini best bits just to sort of have a trip down memory lane. Because we've got a lot of new listeners, and we have a lot of ogs that may have forgotten these moments. So this is what these little mini episodes are, right, Yeah, there's.

Going to be five of them, and like I said, this is the second and this week's theme is impressions. Apparently we've done quite a few over the years we've dug through the archives. This is not just a season four Best Bits series. Firstly, let's kick it off. Do you remember in episode seventy seven when we put my Ida butt Tros impression to good youth?

Oh my god, this is when we print called the new host of the project, Is it right?

Yes, that's right, Sarah Harris. She's now hosting the project ads of this year. At the time, she was on Studio ten and she was Ida butt Tros as former colleague.

I'd had left at the time, but.

I decided, as it give Sarah a phone call and wish her happy birthday and see if she would realize that it's not really iter.

Hello Sarah speaking, how.

Do you do?

Sarah?

Th a Butcher calling?

Oh you lovely, I'm.

Well, I believe that I have a belated birthday. Wish happy fortieth.

Oh thank you Darling. Thank you. Yeah, it was a bit strange in Lockdown, but they made a big dealer Meybius on the show, which was kind how wonderful.

Yeah, I've been meaning to phone sooner, but you know, busy running the apth and whatnot. Yes, I hope you have a fabulous birthday. I did see that they treated you well on the show. Have you been having zoom called with loved ones and stuff?

It must be lonely?

Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on?

This is a nighter is it?

Oh shit, she's on to me Mitch. Sarah, Hi, Sarah, it's Mitch and Mitch.

I would never say that's oh my god, that's exactly what I thought, trying to be eloquent, like fuck.

My god, you're so good.

Well, thank you very much, you're really really is this?

It's Mitch Combe's doing the item impression right now.

I don't do an iter. I just do a good bow. Ryan.

I was just giving you by Ryan.

Oh yeah, yeah, and then come on, how are ye? Let me tell you the Crinella is California. It's a new California. It's a place to live. It's great for families, it's awesome.

It's awesome, amazing. Hey, Sarah, you're like me.

You had to have your frigging birthday during COVID lockdown.

I know, I know, but you know what, Like I don't really get out much anyway, so it's kind of like my regular life. Yeah, and I got to have I got to have this fun show with a fun day on the show, and then I got to be with my boys, which was just the best ever. So and I've been eating birthday cake for dinner very night.

Yeah, that's the best part of happy birthday.

I believe you got me. You know, when it started to come undone, when you would have to be busy, she.

Wouldn't say that.

She wouldn't say what.

She wouldn't say, Well, did you wing the ABC darling?

Yeah, if she needs to.

Know, because you know, she does not explain her own self to anyone.

I cannot believe how good you are.

I mean, does she actually greet you by saying, oh, how do you do Sarah?

She does?

Oh my god, I just made that up. That's great.

Waitt, do some more? Do some more?

Do you know what I was going to do? I was going to say, hello, Sarah, it's me. I had about shows AO. If I had a fucking AO, i'd be introducing myself that way.

Or is it o ay, you're an AO adults only that that's me?

Sorry, I'm an OA. Fuck I'm long gone. No a chance of getting that.

It's like I worked with her for I think five years she's on the show, and it's like working.

To the Queen.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Yeah, so poised, so elegant, she is whip smart and just across everything. She's got a heart of gold.

Ida buttro she does seem sweet, she's so Yeah. Can you be a good word so we can get her on this podcast?

Oh that's a good idea.

Yeah, I'll try.

I mean, she's busy running the ABC and all.

You know, I actually feel like Ida Butto's is one of those people that I never want to meet because I just want to have this vision of her in my mind as being excellent and I don't want her to ever like hate me.

Yeah.

Actually i'd have to be the kind of the cheeky devil's advocate there would go so lighter. You know, have you ever started, you know, in a busy room and you know she's like please Sarah.

Yeah, she's very polite, isn't she? Mitch? Did I ever tell you this story? I got Sarah.

I got Sarah to record a voice memo reading out the not My Cup of Tea reviews that we got and it was kind. She was doing like a news reader voice, like good morning, funny as fuck ye pair, And she just did it on her phone in the dressing room and then.

It was like must you thwear like that? Therah actually overheard it was non impressive.

Was this bogan from Queensland?

Well she actually gets it?

Like do you remember I had to do a segment when I first started at the radio station. Kyle and Jackie O were like, you want to be here a kiss, get a celebrity on the.

Phone in twenty four hours, and that was a challenge. It was a challenge they set to me. And I got Ida Buttros on her home phone with jew which is the most iter thing ever to bring a zero zero to nine number. And they got her on the air and they said, oh, you don't even know Mitch. This is just you got this through a contact, and she went, no, I know, Mitch. I've been I've known him for years. In fact, he was my mentor. He's been to my house.

I had it.

She made it up on the spot, but just to make me look good, she improvised, and a queen a queen.

Do you know why she would have done that? She would have gone, I like his hustles. I'm going to back here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what she likes.

Yeah.

And she would have seen a little bit of light a.

Doing that.

And because it takes some that's right. Thee I to Matros and say do you want to come on the radio?

I'm all right, well we'll leave you to it. Sarah, thank you so much for answering the phone today. If you're a pleasure to speaking, love y'all. So yea is it just me?

All right?

This next best bit, This one's a little bit more recent, episode one hundred and six and Cheery you're involved in this one. Yes, you teamed up with Carla from Bankstown, who was our guest that week.

Yep, she was on Celebrity Apprentice, we had her on. She's a good friend of ours, but you know she skyrocketed to fame. Twenty twenty two was a good year for Carla and it was also at the height of the election. Albo and scoma. Yeah, we did. I was scomo. I believe this was my impression. And Carla was Carla.

And of course Carla is well known for those videos where she pretends to be the state premier is pr what is it assistant?

Yeah? Yeah, a receptionist, isn't their receptionist?

Yes, and so that's what this was. You were scomo.

Carla was the receptionist telling him, sorry, mate, you lost the election?

Yes? Sorry, here it is.

Ring ring, ring ring, Jenny, Jenny, where's the phe ring ring? That's the Bible ring.

That's the Bible ring ring.

Don't put it down softly, so ring ring? Hello, Oh Carla, how are you?

What's going on?

But I'm good, Thank you, Calor listen but I've got some bad news. I don't know why I'm holding the far Yes, sorry, so listen, but I've got Jenny, how's the gurry?

Stir it?

Can you listen to me?

Bros? You never listened to me broke election night. We're just watching the results.

I know I've got the best news in the whole wide world to.

Share with you. Oh my god, you stop the votes again, Jesus Christ by.

No, who do you think you are? No, I'm the best Jesus Christ is here.

Oh Jenny, It's happened finally.

So I just wanted to let you know that you did not win the election. So hold on.

Sorry, that can't be possible.

I'm being dead set serious bray.

No, no, but we had the Christian vote. No, sorry, stop the votes no one. But I've told you this so many times.

Stop. Nobody likes you. We stopped the gaze.

You didn't.

We've got protesting. I completely fumbled the vas roll out exactly. I'm making young people dip into their sees, completely inflate the market exactly, and have them no money to retire from when they hit sixties. How can I possibly have lost the election?

It's because you didn't let your wife peg you.

I think that's why. But she did you recommendation. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. You're gonna have to find another job.

Break No, I've got a good in at Hillsong. I think I'll be fine.

So how did Jenny political?

You should be like?

I've been looking into some openingsitment loss.

If you are looking for a job, they're looking for a trolley person at Kohle's at Warringa Mall.

That's beneath me.

It's not really. They're looking for a bathroom attendant at the Four Seasons hotel in the city.

Carl And no, I can't pass. I stopped the boats.

I won't be listen with your expertise in fucking shit up. That's the best you're gonna get. Sorry. Actually, I do have one more here, something that's like very very up your alley.

Oh great, it's perfect, religiou.

The McDonald's at Engerdine needs a cleaner for the bathroom.

I told you that didn't happen. It did it? Did it didn't.

I've got the CCTV footage roud I dropped a dirty chie.

And it got on my pleats and everyone thought that I pooed myself, but I didn't.

I was an invented back then. Way laying for you got me car.

And scene.

Wow, I'm very political.

Sorry, I hate it. I didn't realize. Honestly, guys, Scott Morrison is an awful He's actually an awful person. Policy aside, that man is for someone who claims to be such a religious nut, who doesn't claim to be a nut. But he just I hate him. I hate him so much.

He always has this fucking smirk on Hi. It's always like, yeah, I'm better than you.

No, you're not.

You suck.

The moment, the moment the nation should have turned on that man is when we had the horrific bushfires ever had. He went down the South coast and he forced people into any shape with him RMS firefighters.

He grabbed their wrists.

Were they even win soot and shook and made it for a press voter.

But it's not that I thought that everyone did turn on him at that point, which is why I was so surprised, Because around this election time, I thought it would be more obvious that yeah, no, there's no way he's getting in.

But I'm like, oh, it actually seems kind of fifty to fifty. I really thought more people would have turned against it.

I was reading a great article that apparently, in times of like global stress and we've got the war in Ukraine and then COVID, it's and the general public vote towards safety someone they know, so I would vote towards going because they don't want change.

It's already another another thing to add on to the stress exactly. But no, he's fumbled the last four years.

Did you see Tracy Grimshaw roasting last night. No, it was she posted. There was a video on Instagram I saw of her literally listing. She's like, so you said that you are of the people and you've helped everybody, but you did this, and she literally listed like she had the received fact, she had the receipts. And then his response was, well, that's a very long list of allegations, isn't it.

Yeah, he does like to say that.

He goes, that's a very serious allegation, without saying whether it's true or not.

She said that serious.

Literally, you went to fucking Hawaii, bro, you went to go see Mouana while the country was burning down.

Brook Also, I'm sorry, but I'm queer and you vote for Scott Morrison. Screw your fucking head in that man of staying from the same sex marriage pro side, there were only three people in Australia who have stayed. It was him, that was Tony Abbott, was Bob Ganner maybe idiot, I know. And he's our prime minister and how can we feel safe, Like what's happening in America. They're repealing v. Wade,

Better bloody not Carli, you're getting easy.

I feel like I've had so many people say Carlor you should run for prime minister.

They said that the other day.

Know about politics. Fucking hate politics. That's why I just make sit up.

That's why Mama, Mama be goues, you should have been a politics because that you know there's Scumo voter. Scomo is from my electorate, so that is also the DC that hate coach. I debated him when I was in high school, face to face our school captain, and he was a local member. Remember for what's the member when for the boats? He's kind of he stopped the boats transport or immigration immigration, And he came to my school and we debated and he just shut me down.

He like negged me and went, I think that's wrong. So I have a personal vendittor against him. But all my parents vote for scarh.

You told your parents not to vote for him.

Mom, I have told him that I begged them not to vote for him. I'd rather you not vote than vote for Scott, And Mum goes, you should be a politician, Mitchell lays are out. She shuts it down anyway. Sorry, that's my rant done for the time.

Now, you're right, see your fucking later.

I wouldn't want to be your imagine two daughters.

Don't let the door hit you on the fucking way out?

Amen? Bye? Is it just me the rude shocks of young adults? Food?

All right?

This next one, we're going all the way back to episode fifty eight. This is when you were doing an impression of Jena the mother hen of TikTok.

You know how she does say it's checking in videos.

Yeah, and she tell you what she loves, A kilo of cheese and bacon in every recipe. She's like, you need four grams of bacon. I'm like, you're making an English breakfast tea bait. But okay, sure go for it.

She's either teaching you how to cook or just checking on your mental health.

She's absolutely goodcous I'm hoping we get her on again in the new year.

Yes, So we had her on and I thought I do my take at her famous checking in TikTok video, which if you haven't heard it, she sits there and she talks to the camera. It's like a point of view video, and she addresses you listening to the TikTok? So what This is actually one of her famous checking in videos.

Oh sweet, huh?

Doing awake?

Can't sway? I just made a cup of tea?

Would you like one?

I'll see what. It doesn't matter whether you do or don't.

How about I'll make you one and then I'll set it over here, and if you want it, you can have it. This one's at camam mole one's you don't need any milk with it.

Okay, you get done.

I'll set it just here for you, so listen. If you want to talk about it, I can listen. Or if you don't want to talk about it, we can just hit here together. So how about only you decide what you'd like to do? Just know whatever it is. But I love you very much and you're so special.

Yeah, there we go. Aren't they just gorgeous?

So you did your own impression of her in episode fifty eight, and then she came on the podcast in episode sixty one and we played her your impression to see what she thought.

Yeah, if I will add I was in full gen a signature rainbow eyeshadow. That's another point that you just picture that me in rainbow eyeshadow. I believe this is on our couple of minches TikTok. If you want to go, have a scroll back and look. But this is me as Jenna checking in.

I actually, a few weeks ago, got mitched to attempt his own checking in video in TikTok school.

Would you like to hear how he did?

I would love to.

I want you to rate how trying to emulate your famous video?

Okay, here it is rolling.

Oh my Daylan, I'm just pulverizing the chicken for tea. Yeah, chicken kiebs again. I know you checked last time on that bone, so I won't. I won't give you the thigh this time. I see your nose. They're still bleeding. It's been twenty four hours. Now, hand you shoul get that quarter used.

Yeah, you can talk to.

You about anything.

Yeah, why don't you tell me? Moly is.

You are funny? You are a little comedian.

All right, you scurry off? Hey you want some I want some chicken to take home to the orphanage. Take it all right, babes.

Great to see you, Tah, that was me polarizing the chicken Keia, I.

Gotta say a lot less comforting than your video is. Jennifer, I can't.

It's the chicken bone for me.

I can't. So what did you think? Did he nail it or no? Dolls?

It was?

It was beautiful, like there was a lot of care.

You know, you were taking like, like I said.

The chicken bone, you were You're being cautious because particularly after the accident you joked on the.

Thigh the nosebleed. The nosebley's been twenty four hours.

Yeah, look, we definitely need to get good advice. Yeah, you've definitely passed on good advice. But I think I can probably give his few tips.

Okay, Well, we've got the new red Rooster crunchy fried Chicken. It is available mat.

You can order it.

Have you tasted this before, Jennifer, the new crunchy fried Chicken.

I haven't. Can I just say it is amazing? So I'm definitely happy to take some more of this.

In your checking in videos, obviously there's usually a cup of tea involved, all some food, So today the red Rooster is going to be what you're feasting on. Sure, I suppose you shouldn't really talk with your mouth full.

Should you how do you do it? Do you do it before.

You while you're eating, just taking a bite? Yeah yeah, maybe just like just pick at it while I'm doing it.

Yeah.

Maybe maybe you have a bite and then there'll be like a bite out of the chicken, so everyone knows.

Yeah, okay, should we should? We should look into one of the studio cameras.

Or I've got a little type great film.

Go go go on her phone.

All right, this is so excited in the flesh checking in video.

This is so hot, and I might film this point of view? Yeah? Good?

Want to buy it on?

Or no?

Is it fine?

Sure? Darling? I always need even more. Do you know that I've never actually filmed.

One of these in front of anyone before.

Don't worry. We've just been idiots in front of you for the last forty minutes, so don't worry. Do they take?

Do you need more than one take? Or do you do it nail it the first time?

It depends? It depends. Sometimes I've taken a few other times I'm like.

You know what, that's actually kind Okay, Well we're not live, we're not live on the cloud, so hey, the magic of podcasting, Oh, yeah, you'll get it your first go regardless.

I just put the beauty light on.

So should I record this way and have my reaction as if it's live?

Do whatever you blood want to music.

I would love for you to give me a bit of a bit of a topic to work with.

Like, Okay, what are you usually doing them?

Well, it depends. Sometimes I'll be inspired by something someone said or commented and then I might use that.

So there's usually like a little nugget of wisdom in there.

I remember one that was beautiful was like, now, don't make yourself broke trying to buy Christmas presents for other people.

Just be present and.

Love, give love this year. And I'm like, that's lovely. There's always this little nugget of wisdom at the end.

What about like I don't feel comfortable eating one because I think I'm too fat, but I'm actually oh, and you.

Can say, maybe you eat what you want. You know, look at me, I'm eating fried chickens.

I really want one, but I shouldn't, you know what I put this in the lunch box for like.

That our micseff Yeah, i'd say so.

Action.

Hello, Dylan, have you had something to eat today? I've got some red rooster here.

Have you tried that? Have you had that before?

I know, sometimes we try to be careful for for eating, because fried foods and things like that, and particularly like I've had, you know, I've had the gashtak sleeve.

I try to eat too much of this stuff.

But you need to know that it's okay to treat yourself. For everybody on there, so we'd healthy most of time, but let's treat ourselves. So I'm going to have some of this one. So tell me what have you been up to this weekend? Did you find some me time? Yeah, that's good. Well if you haven't, you've still got time. You've still got time to do something. So I want you to remember it's going to be a new week. Make sure you find something to center yourself so that you can start your Monday on.

The right note.

Okay, make sure a good night's sleep.

I love you. Oh my god, that was loved in the house. I love that. And I'm sitting right behind the ring light, so I felt like that was all directed.

So are you actually going to post that to TikTok?

I will.

Yeah, everyone, Jenny, go fight it on TikTok. Four ns, three eighths and two wives.

J Jenet, No sorry, Jenna, jen It laughs like amongst the crunch a fried chicken, this.

Chickens really, isn't it good? Its a sorry, but it's beautiful? Should I am? Should I do a checking in? Yeah, with the ebbs and the crunchy fried chicken.

I just want to see your reaction once you try to ebbs and see if you like it or not?

Alright, have you decided what you're gonna say?

It?

Just making it up perfect?

Never read anything? How do you normally start them? Jen It with a.

Greeting him does okay?

That's sweet heart?

Ah, Hi dares How are you babes? Yeah?

Joe help him mar help him up on the counter. You can't walk after the track. Yeah you saw.

It, Joe, Oh baby high. I'm just having some redoruster crunchy fried chicken.

It's left over. It holds really well. Unlike you on the back of that truck. You're really let go. You just sit there and I need to talk. I know it's hard after after the fire. I've got my ebbs here, my world famous ebbs.

Everything but bagel seasoning. You want to sprinkle on this chick chick. Yeah, I think it'll give a good crunch, don't you, baby? Yeah?

All right, here we go.

Oh sorry, does that trigger from the gunfight in Afghanistan? Don't mean to a darling. Let me give it a try. Mm all those ebbs, Oh that's delicious.

Have a bite.

No, no, no pressure, I'm not hurting. I'm gonna leave it there for you to try when you want. Now, there are poppy seeds in there, and I know you have a severe enophyl axis, so maybe pick them out. Yeah, about three thousand in every circuit. You got plenty of time. Not much else you can really do, is there. I want you to know that you're all welcome here, no matter what. All right, I want to go do a shit basing insane my god, But we can't post that on you.

Why not?

That's hog.

But also I feel like instagram worthy not TikTok.

Yeah, you can tell that he's not.

He's not really an influencer because you've got to keep TikTok th under a minute, Dylan, you're back. You're rambled on too long.

I'm TikToker eating.

People hate it when you eat on the podcast shoots my show, not yours?

Is it just mean podcast by a couple of midches?

All right, this next one is god one of our more controversial impressions. I first of all want to say that I don't think we're known for our impressions, but clearly we do quite a few of them. And this one was inspired by the Bros Boisey podcasts of TikTok and of the world that emerged in twenty twenty two.

They're called Alpha podcast I believe you know.

They're problematic straight men that just spew their futrid opinions. We did an impression of that sort of podcasts, and people, for some fucking reason actually thought we were too problematic straight man.

I know, I think it's a compliment to our ability that they believe that you and I.

I think you tonight to may.

What's the You're in a hot tink t shirt with two buttons done up. I've got four inches of cloth on my head and they're like these two straight boys. It's like, we really are not. But it riled up the internet. And this is Coomb's and I as an Alpha podcast.

The one that almost got is canceled.

Yeah, episode one oh five. This is from could have been our last, but it'll tank. God, it wasn't enjoyed, right, So TikTok school.

As you know, we like to thrip off other people's ideas.

Sometimes I'll be scrolling and I think, oh, Cheery will nail that.

I'm going to bring that up on the show. Get his hot take.

And for those at home, you can't see this because it's a podcast. Jenna is in a slutty teachers outfit every time we do it, and it's hot. It's hot.

But today we're doing a bit of a social experiment, aren't we.

Yes, we are. We wanted to put it out into the world and change the podcast up a little bit.

Because you know those tiktoks that you always see of straight men who host podcasts.

Mitchell had to just swallow his vomit there for a second because they are vile and they are rising in prominence, these boring straight men talking about women's issues.

I know. It's like you just leave a couple of men alone with a microphone, no women in the room, although often there is one there said some little pick me goes the worst. It is laughing along and they'll say really uninformed, dumb.

Shit 'sogynistic bullshit and there's no one to call them out.

Yeah exactly, but there is, like there's sort of method to the madness because those videos always blow up, don't they?

Oh my god, And that's why I see them because then my algorithm has straight in it. No, it doesn't have any of the boy words in it, but it gets on my feet.

It'd be because of podcast.

Oh, you're right.

And also the amount of it is they always blow up because it stirs the pot whenever these straight men put these problematic things out in the world.

The funny thing is it's essentially the anti version of us. It's the straight version of what we do.

I mean, I'm not saying that we're the most intelligent podcasts, Like we're as dumb as they come.

But we talk about a name ship too. But like, this is a certain way about these straight men delivering their podcast. So, like I've got an example.

This is just the sort of things that you might hear on a straight man podcast.

One thing I hated back on to restaurance is when they asked for a tip. I feel like in Australia we just don't do that right, So I was like, yeah, we just have the bill. They bring it over and they've got like the receipt printed down. They put it on the table and that will be back. And I was like, so you're just waiting for me to write a tip this thing down the bottom of a tip and I'm like, no, not happening.

Never happened.

The screen literally said would you like to tip? And it's like a yes or no, but in her hand no, not like such a piece of shit like she said about this, I was like, n note it for you.

I can get Fuck, it's fun.

What to be fair, they actually sound quite fun. I feel like I get along with them.

What's the name of that show?

But there's just something about the way they do this thing that my brother does right where they talk and it's like they don't open their mouth very wide so that I kind of sound like this, like they sound like you're mumbling a bit and you're like, fuck not two nion our fucker. Also just keep their lips really close together when they talk, and they laugh.

So aggressive and really quickly, and then they immediately result to insults.

Always I always have to insult somebody.

And also I love that was the most basic observation.

Yeah, they I mean like I said, we can't talk.

We're quiet, bloody basic when it comes to our observations too. However, this is the sort of problematic shit we're talking about that always blows up. Okay, so this is what we need to channel in our experiment.

As a male, I could have eighteen thirty, forty to fifty women pregnant at the same time. As a female, you can only be pregnant by one man at a time. And further, it bella fits you as a woman to stick to that man, because the more you get pregnant, the more your value declines, stretch marks, losing the vaginal elasticity, and all of these meaningful things that attract men. So

Shut up, I feel sick. I feel fucking sick. ELSs Oh my god, God, I'm not an idiot.

And the ding what do they need? The t.

And so anyway, these always blow up, don't They always?

Millions of us.

So this is our experiments. So we're gonna pretend we're straight.

Well yeah, okay, so we need to change quite a few things. What we're going to do is for those listening, you're in on the joke. This is a long game. We're going to do our impression of a straight man podcast. We're going to put it up on our podcast feed, which has quite a few thousand followers.

Yeah, it'll be on our TikTok.

So idiots listening right now, you've got to go to the comments and be outraged as.

Soon as you see the video.

Don't be like this is hilarious. I'm in on the joke. We want people to see if they believe that we're a straight podcast.

It's like, there's people like this in the world, and it's just sad that people think this work.

Or amen brother with the praying emotion. Now, the problem is mitch our screens behind us. They're not straight. We need to fix them up.

Oh do you reckon? They're a bit do you?

Yeah? Something about the hot pink and the yellow. They're always in like a it's like a home office. It's never a good yea.

Why does straight men just avoid studios like they're always just in their lound room?

Can you find a really disgusting bedroom?

Find us a share house? Lounge room with one half dead palm front in the back and they always have a cheap boom arm.

Oh this is I reckon. I'm going to be the giveaway. I'm not going to sound straight at all, Like I can't say anything problematic that true.

Isn't that ironic. I've got a high voice to near.

But oh my god, oh my god, Sam, it just cuts the most disgusting blow up mattress on a carpet of bedroom with the boxes and no furniture.

Oh yeah, and a used coffee mug on the ground.

Oh that is foul. Okay, you nailed that.

Actually, well he is a straight man. That's actually Sam's bedroom.

You're gonna have to say something really dumb and we're not don't go too far, just like really uninformed and stupid. And then I'll just be like your hype man, the just eggsy on Yes.

Because there was one in that first one would just repeat the host was saying and then they laugh.

Actually, Jenny, you're gonna have to be like I said, the pick me girl. It just never stands up for women. It just goes Yeah. Yeah, Sam, it's sound like a hat out there so I can look straight.

Oh yes, you give me a minute. I'm I just put my hood on.

I'm gonna give myself a front fringe.

Do I look straight? Otf I put my hood up?

Is that better?

You do? A? No?

That's good, so you don't show you don't show your perfectly coconut oiled hair. Now, no, straight away? All right, this is my fringe because what a straight man do? They love to cover their receding hair like.

I like to do that too. Shut up. That's why I've embraced the middle part.

I'm going to button all the way up. Is that straight?

Sam?

Is there like a hoodie or something out there to make Mitch look more straight?

He still looks gay to me.

Now you need the full button up like a lad.

Now you look like a bloody altar boy. So with theres no hat out there, Sam, I think he's found one.

He's found a hat.

He's found it.

Like, yes, this will change everything. Yeah, you're gonna have to You're gonna have to loosen that thing for your big head.

Anyone have an extended belt, should wear it front.

Way or back back way, back way. It's definitely, Oh God, there we go. That's it.

That's it. Have you guys, ever seen me with a hat on.

It's never it's giving a bit humpty dumpty. Just quietly Mitch's bum bag on, Yeah, my bum bag. Sorry, that's my purse, I think you'll find.

And that's the difference.

Perfect, there we go. Holy shit, did you don't see your own reflection?

I look heterosexual. I don't even know what. Let's just let's just roll.

Okay, So this is us channeling a stupid, uninformed straight man podcast.

And you just know that if this was real, it would be called couple of bitches.

No, it'll be called like Lad's unfiltered or something, you know.

Yeah, and our logo would be a red back spider with our faces in the middle.

But don't say anything too funked up. Just say something dumb. But like you say it with such conviction.

Oh dude, I've got a theory right that breast milk isn't.

Real, Mitchell, lower the tone sound like breath milk even real to animated, But it's not because in.

Realgon Yeah.

Right, okay, but here's the thing, but bro hm, we're not a lie about the periods.

Man.

Put your mind to it for a second to think about it, right, and I'll put this to the room. Chicks a lot to waffle on about their period I get every two weeks, I get every two weeks.

That's fucking constant.

Me.

Where's the proof when you think about its true?

Right?

Get this right? Only periods?

I know in my life high school, finishing home economic, you finish English, you finish mathematics. What about maybe when you're writing a sentence and you finish that.

Thing you lost, man, the thing at the end of a sentence.

That's a period.

You're like, how are we supposed to know that you're actually telling the truth, Like you're a check. I've never actually seen a period eight, so you could be a conspiracy eight.

I don't know.

I'm so with you.

And they lie like this, they get us, they try to get you.

It's not even true man, And I've never.

Seen anyone by periods.

Now.

I think that was really profound from us. I think we made some points.

The first one they just basically described how paying at a restaurant works, and they thought it was groundbreaking. So we need to do something really simple and think that it's groundbreaking. Hear me out, let's try.

Oh are you actually doing it now?

Yeah?

Okay, how don't you have to give me warning. It takes the way for me to get any straight man character.

Really, and that's why giving birth should cost money. But more on that later. Hey today, Petrol.

They're all the same broney three ninety.

Four, ninety six. It all goes on the same pit man.

Yeah, I reckon, it's not even any different. A you just put it in and like the cargoes, it doesn't even matter.

I've got a friend, right Blake, Like, hey, okay, or you fucked out at the Christmas party twice in the night.

Oh no, she doesn't let it talk about it.

You know she fucked Blake. Yeah, she fucked Trevor and then she fucked Blake again.

No, you gotta you gotta stop doing that.

Man.

You gotta keep yourself pure. You got to dedicate yourself to the one man once you find him.

But they think no one actually respects a woman Yep, that has kissed a man.

Before they kiss you. Yeah.

If the Libertis feel dirty, man, you know what I mean, Like God, they feel dirty.

But if I want to kis someone doesn't matter.

But for girls, nah, no, no, it's true.

True, Yes, even she agrees like women are just not speaking up. You know, like they all think this ship, but they're not brave enough to say it.

You know what you think exactly, and that what you just said there is profound.

Yeah, statically, where did we change names?

I I feel disgusting ninety three? Okay, So if you see these videos on our TikTok, go be offended or agree with us and say equally stupid shit in.

The comedy, it's like add another thing. Yeah, that ding is so annoying.

Yeah, so dark our ding is much more theatrical because we're mos.

What a performance that tick is?

You want to hear their incorrect buzzer doesn't exist because men can't be wrong in their eyes.

You're sir, Amen's right, It's so fucking true. True, yeah, true preach.

Is it just me?

Oh no?

This next one, we're going to listen to our next favorite bit. This is from the iconic one hundredth episode, which I would like to let you all know is our most listened to episode ever.

But random a pause for us. People love that episode. I think to be build up tension. I don't know why people like that so much.

Yeah, it's just a milestone episode. I reckon and in this episode jim Ember. I kind of did an impression of you, did you Yeah, because we were doing is it just me? Is out each other?

Something we've noticed hate or appreciate about each other, And this is what I noticed about you. Do's Mitchell cheery like to man explain ship to international listeners. Sometimes it's just some things that you interrupt me. When I'm mid sentence. You'll be like, hang on, hang on, hang on. We should clarify for the international listeners. And sometimes it's necessary. You'll be like, oh, Koshi is like our Matt Lauer

It's like, oh no, the internationals, they wouldn't understand this.

So we have these rectangular prisms, the sort of flat maybe the size of a welcome mat, and they're called pillows made of foam, and we use them for the sleeping.

I don't know what you guys call them, but we call them pillow.

I've never man's played a pillow.

Sometimes that I might, they probably got it.

They probably.

I'm media trained because when you're working radio, they all they got to set up you got to set up new listeners because when you're listening to radio, you've got new listener every fifteen minutes, because again, when you listen to the raid, International radio is in terrestrial broadcaster.

I admit it, I do, I do.

And for the international listens, we have these like cylindrical bits of plastic and it's kind of like a penser, but there's ink. We call them pens. I don't know what you call them there, but yeah, we call them pens.

I'm not that annoyed. We'll call me out on it next time. I'm sorry. Basically, what Mitchell Coombs is saying to our international audience, fuck you.

I would never say such a screw. I just have more faith in them than you do that they know what we're on about.

I don't want them to have to google. If we're talking about Kerry and Kennley, which we do every fucking week.

How do you think that's one thing you've never been explained? How would you say for the internationals?

And have you ever heard of the dinosaurs? That's all you need to know for the Internationals.

You know, when you get out of the bath and you've been in there for ages and your hands go all wrinkly, Just picture that all over.

An awful awful Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's her.

That's her in a Camilla and Mark's dress.

Camilla and Marks through the international listeners.

It's Australia under cover designer brand.

Something that soccer mum's were.

I'm gonna start listen. I am pre covid. I was in and out of this. It's not bad. I just wanted to make sure the audience that I've brought from LA is up to date. I'll cap that on the chin.

No, I don't think it's a bad thing. It's something I noticed.

Would you have something you hate and I can clear the air.

No.

Actually, I don't want to tell you something that I hate because you've actually stopped doing it and if I remind you, you might start doing it again.

Oh what is it?

Fucking the live tweets you stop doing.

It's just gotten lazy.

Don't bring them back.

It's still right here, guys. It hasn't moved. It has moved.

It's been there, the whole show, the helicopter, they're all there. I'm just lazy, you know. I got a DM the other day on Instagram. Can't remember a name, but this lovely lady. She goes hi Mitchell. I'm a trash bag. I love trash ally. I've just started listening to Is it just me? I'm really struggling with the fucking live tweet sound effect? And I said, hang in there, and I told.

Her around episode seventy, I think he forgot yeah about that bit, so you start listening from there and she literally said thank you so much.

I was like, I knew it.

Someone else abound it. It's irritating of me the amount of messages I get of, Oh, we don't have time to get into that. Unfortunately, for the.

Live traits, the number will astound you. In fact, I'll tell you straight after.

This WSFM time Saber traffic.

That's my favorite one.

I knew I shouldn't have said it reminded you.

They're back for one hundred and beyond, ladies.

Is it just me?

The rude shocks of young adults food.

Now, this next little throwback, this is not so much an impression, but I did want to.

I did want to.

Listen back to this because this is kind of of the early days. If not, you know, the inauguration of your ninety year old Lady Alter Ego Dot Wiggins. Remember this, it was back in episode fifty. Do you remember how dot came to be?

Oh my god, I don't even remember the inception of Dot Wiggins. So the inception, that's the word I was looking for. Thank you.

Yeah, no worries. What happened? How did she come about?

So?

Do you remember?

This was back in my single days. It's kind of weird to listen back to this now. But I was bitching to you about the fact that I just kept having all these guys on Tinder leading me on GHO seeing me. I'd go on dates and they didn't have the decency to tell me I don't want to see you anymore. They would just randomly stop replying, and I was just getting really sick of going through that process.

Thinking oh, do they like me or not?

It was just driving me insane and being the gorgeous friends you are, you did what any good friend would do, and you prank called one of the guys that had ghosted me as Dot Wiggins, the RMS worker.

Oh my god, I remember this. Okay, so I don't remember this going well, but why don't we just why don't we play it? Because yeah, this is me as RMS worker. Very very first, Dot Wiggans prank call?

Is it just me?

Two men need to stop being so flaky? Oh, I just I can't anymore. I've just had I've had a two weeks from hell where I've just had countless people lead me on and then just not be interested, which, by the way, is fine. I'm not desperate and dateless. I'm quite happy being single. It's more just the inconvenience. Yes, I hate being I hate having my time wasted. The ones I actually go on, the dates with always a good time.

I always, I always have a good time.

But it's more the ones where you chat and then you exchange numbers, maybe you exchange social media, and then it gets to the point where you're like, oh, yeah, maybe we should go on a date, we should go for a drink sometime. And not to toot my own tit, but they're often the one suggesting it to me.

Yes, And I don't know about.

You, but if someone suggests to you, hey, let's go on a date, is that not their cue to organize it?

Yes? And this can be tricky, but if the person that instigates it is normally the one that should be following up on these things.

I feel like that's true and I'm not going to beg and be like, so whatever happened.

To that date, like are we going or not?

Yeah?

I just I've had so many suggestions and I've been like, yeah, sure, let's do it, and then we can keep chatting for days after and then nothing eventuates, and I'm just like, it's so frustrating. Don't ask me in the first time if you didn't actually want to.

Is this a new thing or is it a COVID thing? You've had this? This has been irking you for years.

This has been a thing for years, but it's only been boiling my blood recently because basically January to August, maybe even September, I was just not dating at all, Like I was just not interested. But now that things are returning to normal, it's let's tround upon to socialize.

I'm back on the dating.

Scene and I'm loving it, but I'm also reminded at how frustrating it is. There's been a few One guy messaged me on a Sunday yes and goes, hey, I'd like to make you dinner next week, and I'm like, that'd be great.

That's a Roman thing to say, as well'd be excited.

No one's ever offered me that before. It sounded and we've been chatting for a bit.

It wasn't out of the blue, but I was like, sure, let's do it, And then messaged him on Friday and said so, like are we still doing this?

And he goes, sorry, I've got a boyfriend now. I was like, it's been three days. How did that happen? That's rare, Like congratulations.

I'm now married. I'm so sorry my child's being born. Yes, oh that's the worst.

And then there was another one that was like, oh yeah, let's go on a date, super keen.

He was the one, you know, pursuing me. And then it was like, oh sorry, we agreed to go that day, but I can't do I'm working. Then oh sorry, I've got a family thing. Then oh sorry, I've got this, And I'm like, if you're not actually interested, you can just stop postponing. It's all together canceled, and he didn't reply.

I was just like.

Why even bother Like I've I feel like unless I actually feel something or mean something, I just don't say it.

Yes, I'm not going to tell someone I want to go on a date with them if I don't.

And also not something that you're looking forward to all week, I've got that dinner with me.

It's not like that I don't look forward to it, But it's more like I don't necessarily make plans with my friends because I'm oh, I'm pretty sure I meant to be seeing someone that day, and then.

Chip away you when this happens.

I wouldn't say it chips away at me, because, like I said, I am quite happy being single.

It's just annoying. It's like, why bother suggesting it if you're not going to follow through?

Yeah? I agree, I'm pissed off for you.

It's just so annoying.

Would it make you feel better if I print called one of them?

How would that make you?

I don't know. I not think of anything that I can do.

I don't think that would help me.

What we shouldn't do that?

Now?

I will pretend that. I'll pretend that I think it's my grandson and I've got the number wrong.

Oh okay, so you're not actually going to tie it back to me or no, no, you'll be there'll be no Why that's fine. I thought you were be like my grandson Mitchell with pleasure, with pleasure, I couldn't care less. If they die, you can fuck with them as much as your life.

Send me the number.

I don't what can I do? I could probably just say which one do I hate? Send me the one that had a fuck has got a boyfriend now?

No, I just message him on Instagram.

Oh that one gaze? Move on?

Oh god, there's one here who I fox me off when they do this.

They suggest that you go on a date, they don't make it happen, they don't follow through, they don't plan anything, and then you just kind of don't speak for ages.

And then the next time they see you they hit you with the why have we gone on that date yet? And I'm like, because you didn't fucking organize it. I hate it when they put it back on you.

That's like when you go to a restaurant, you order your food and the waitress goes, I'll be right with you, and then ten minutes haven't you guys ordered yet? It's like, that's your job, that's your job to make sure we order.

That's exactly what it is. Let me find another one. I don't want to call him.

How do you of these people's number? You develop from Tinder to message?

It depends sometimes we go to Instagram. Sometimes we go to number Okay, so yeah, this one you can go this guy.

Jamie is that to you? Okay? What can I do to freak him out a little bit?

I want you to freak him out.

Oh maybe we shouldn't do it.

I'm I did my manage a dottal with Wiggins calling from the r t A. How are you today?

The r t A is Rose Traffic or Okay, I'm well, goody.

I just have paperwork here and it's saying that we have an unregistered vehicle parked on Cherry Blossom Street, corner of Knife Blossom and it's registered under your name.

Which suburb is up Frankston.

Teen West Frankston ten West f r A n K S T.

And teen West Eankscellent West Rankston Team West.

Okay, thanks, mm hmmm? Where okay? And so what what what's the issue?

I'm afraid that there's an unregistered vehicle in your name sitting on Cherry Bottom have and it will either be toad or you can come and claim in the next twenty four hours.

I'm just giving you a courtesy call, my dear.

Okay. Well, the thing is is I don't own any vehicles whatsoever? Who right, Well, speak to the r T A and I'll see what's happening with that.

I am the r don't be daft.

I don't know that you actually are, though, because you sound a bit odd.

Who pig your pardon? I'm regardless of my age. I've been working in the workforce for years. I don't think that bears any judgment my role here the RTA.

Right, okay, so what's your name and.

What's not capital D d O T.

Wiggins?

Oh?

Sorry, he won't mess with you again. He doesn't drive.

He's one of the Sydney gaze that fits the stereotype can't drive. He really persisted with that longer than he needed to, considering he doesn't drive.

Oh shit. Also, he was googling the fake suburb?

Is this this part of dots? Like? Is this dots catchphrase? Is going? Who? When? Not making no sense?

Yeah? Yeah? Asking who? When he asked what time it is?

Who?

Oh?

That was a walk down memory lane? Did you have fun, Mitchell?

That was lovely, absolutely gorgeous. I'm loving it. Why the fuck do we need to bother?

Went like the Simpsons at this point, mate, We've done enough episodes let's just rerun the classics.

Why make a new one?

Truly? Do you think we're gonna get to a blow where people go, please? Is that fucking podcast still going? We just like the first one hundred and twenty. We don't like anything after that point.

I know people will be like, is that still on? Jesus? Are they still going?

Are they still rabbiting on? Are they still gay and obnoxious? Yes? We still have Jenna forever, so the podcast will never rand as long as Jenna draws breath. So Saturday, everyone, Really, We're back next week for our third best bits and the theme Are we gonna? Should we announced what we're doing next week? Yeah?

Go on, you're better all right?

Well, listen. We get often asked this. People often want to hear sex stuff, not about Mitch and I, but they're so interested in our sex lives, Like that is the number one question I get asked about. What is sex like with you and Hayden? Have you and Mitch? Was there ever any love romance? What happens in you? They want to know about Mitch and Sean, the new relationships. So next week we're doing the best of vision sex stuff.

Yeah, but his fucking family listen.

I can't delve too much into mine and seawan sex life, So don't fucking hold your bed.

That's not happening next week.

His family listen. Yeah, it's all of the moms and dads or siblings.

Yep, tick tick all of them?

Oh my god, Hi guy, what are their names?

Hi? Sean? Do you want to do? You want to give a shout out?

Sean? Shout out your parents whom I shouting out?

The family members that listen?

Ah, Hi, Mom and Dad and Kathy and Connor and Jemma and probably all of the aunties and uncles at this point as well.

Why no, Sean did his partner won't even listen, Mitchell, look at the support I'm getting.

He did in the early days. Trust me, it won't last long. Sean quickly, did Mitch like plug the podcast at Christmas lunch? Is that what happened? Did he go around with q RKO? It's trying to flog mugs? Now you should have what a missed opportunity.

We'll organize another barbecue and we'll make that happen. Don't worry, I don't need to. They already listen.

Where did they find the podcast? Are they just interested in you that. I don't know why. I'm so shocked that someone would be interested after meeting you, But how.

Fucking dare you?

I love that Hayden's family wouldn't know how to listen to a podcast.

Really yeah, yeah, I don't know. Anyway, Next week it's all about sex stuff, throwing back to all the times we've talked, not just about ourselves but other people.

We've had callers on, we've had guests on saw that every time my mind's have gone in the gutter.

Really yeah, we had literally if you're into anal sex by the way, we had I don't know if we're doing the Camphraser chat, but we had like a sexologist and a sex expert come on. So if you're into anal, which is ninety nine percent of our demo, the Converted down there.

I think. So now listen you too. I think you've got the keys to the church for an extra twenty I'm gonna go and you to do whatever you want, okay, because what happens in the church stays in the church. All right. Everyone knows that.

We can't fucking a church, Mitchell, No, surely not. We'll get struck by lightning Mitchell.

Just stood up.

That's the biggest organ I've ever seen in my life. I'm not talking about the instrument.

Jesus, Oh my God.

All right, we'll catch you next week. It's thanks for.

Listening, all right, Go baptize Sean if you know what I mean. Okay, all right, see you next week. Go is that holy water?

Are you happy to see me?

Oh? Happy?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Mit or you've hit follow on your podcast app.