#98: Bitter Bitches with Christian Hull

People do some weird shit.

Would you like to try vape?

Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive?

I think that people.

I'll tell you what.

Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No, you know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spoon, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of a hole. Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adultsthood, Bean fingered as an awful sensation.

You cann't been thinking about the right person.

Goodness, may is just I'm still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna.

Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season. Sorry? Now he is Mitch Julie and Mitchell Koob Episode ninety eight, It's a Day Tullo Mitchel Cove.

Hello, Darling, and welcome to Christian Harlow. I guess this is a.

Date with Christian Team.

Can I just say you are so radio like it's a podcast. It's ten past seven Checking the Roads now with Tras.

No, it's because we come off the back of an opener and I've made it this stalky, stupid thing Christian where I say the number of the episode, then a dumb rhyme, So ninety eight it's a date with Christian Health. Once you hear it, you'll go he's a genius. You'll hear it. Well, I this is great. Thank you for being here. Mitch. Are you friends with Christian? You know him well than I do. I'm just a fan from Afar. Well.

Christian and I do go way back because when I was a little media student just moved to Sydney, my teacher put me in touch with a successful alumni, and that with you, Christian, because you were pretty much doing the exact job I wanted.

Bottom of the barrel.

Yeah, well, there weren't really many other people doing digital and social media stuff in radio because it wasn't really a job at the time.

I mean still sort of not really.

Oh yeah, it's a bit of a random job. But yeah, I remember my teacher put me in touch with you, and we had the most profession and earnest catch up. I thought, oh my god, this guy is so polished. Then you started posting your own videos and I was like, ah, so this is the real Christian Hull when he's not on his best behavior mentoring young students. Here's a fucking gronk like me. It was bat, Did I give.

You good advice? Or did I tell you to run for the hill?

Totally?

You gave me really good advice. At first you were like super encouraging, but then after a while you were like get out.

It was all li it was alight. I was joking, please leave. Well, I guess that's all we have in common. We're all sort of radio nerds. I'm still stuck in there. I'm tethered down. It's all I can do. I'm still a broadcast of thinking that people listen to me at night when I have to get my boyfriend to call every night, to be a fake caller. But that's the point.

Even in Breakfast, I was getting friends in family to be callers.

Well, how long did you work in radio, Christian? How long? Like? All up?

What was your stint in commercial radio?

Nine years?

And then I did community radio for five years before that, so it was like fourteen fifteen years in in the radio bubble, and I loved it, like, I had a really great time, and it taught me everything that I'm able to use for my social channels and how to talk to an audience today. But Jesus, in the end, you sort of get fourteen years in and go, Really, my pay has only gone up. Yeah, five thousand dollars when I first started.

You lasted fourteen years. I lasted four darlins. So you're you're more tenacious than me.

Jee, that's a long time.

It's a long time.

Yeah, But you went straight in. You were like straight to the top. Your job was right in the thick of it. I spent quite a number of years trying to get into the thick of it. And you can only last like four years. Where you are? I don't know, Mitch, because how long have you been in radio?

I've been in radio seven. I've done seven. But the first two was like was street team, and you're not in content, so there's not the pressure. It's fine, you can make Kansas cug. I was still straight, so I had no sort of existential drand sitting on the shoulders. So I was loving it. But seven's long, and.

How does that make you feel when a Christian says things like radio is dying. That's literally the titles of one of his podcast episodes right now. I haven't heard that.

I haven't heard that one, but Christian Kettle elaborate on how radio is dying?

Really Yeah, no, Like I'm so cynical, Like I went through radio and I cheered me up, spit me out, and I'm like, like I've come out a bitter human being.

But look for me.

I just think when I was younger, I listened to Kyle and Jackie. Oh, and that carried through. You know, my formative years were with you know, ugly Phil and Jackie. Then it was Kyle and Jackie and I am obsessed with them because that's who I grew up listening to. And so they're still on air, like my god, but

Yeah, it had, it had a windows, yeah, and.

It had a window to jump on things early, and it didn't. You know, I saw, you know, all the radio networks could have jumped on podcasting a lot sooner, but they did it, and they waited for other people to explore them and make them big, and then they were like, we're doing podcasting, Well, you should have been doing it six years prior. They had the opportunity to

On our radio session? Is that me with a beer? Have they photoshopped a beat on me on the Instra story flogging a two milk? No, that's Christian hard, I'll get it.

Have you ever seen Christian in real life, I think far from as far.

Maybe one's Christian. Yeah, Marti Gras, was it Mardi Gras? I think it was Marti Gras. You were broadcasting, yes, broadcasting live from Martigra, Yeah, I was.

I feel like a lot of people, Mitch expect you to look like Christian in real life because he is like tiny. The first time I actually saw you in real life, Christian, I was like, holy shit, you are so sure.

Yeah, I'm one sixty nine centimes. I'm tiny, I'm whatever that is.

Five.

I can't do the I don't even know what I am.

It's too much, it's too confusing, you know, It's funny. Christian. My cousin I was at a wedding on the weekend and she was very pissed, but she was like, I love Christian and what he's done with the schools, and I sent my kids to Catholic schools and what if

And then the cynicism and well, yeahs oh my god, that is so I've got Mitchell Coombs's countiness. And then occasionally, very occasionally, yeah your joy, yeah, very rarely, my old cumsy old bit of CUMSI.

Yeah, that's me.

Do you know what, I'm pretty sure I've actually before Christian. But I like fully, I fully take credit for any success you've had, because I remember many years ago, before you started making videos and stuff, there was an interview you did and they said what inspired you to start making videos? And it was like, oh, I saw Mitchell Coombs made this bog and Gate video and I thought I need to get up off my arm and start

I don't think so.

No, I'd absolutely be in a gutt of somewhere with that of their old bogan Gate video that was so good though, Like, wasn't that just.

That bogen Gate video?

People still claim the annoying do you get because you're like that was so long ago? Like I get a lot of Trish because I played a charact called Trish and that's sort of how I shot into the spotlight.

Was playing a mum with a Christian. Was that the blonde wig? Yeah, with the blonde wig. I don't.

I don't do that anymore. And everyone's like, when's Trish coming back?

That's what I was about to ask, because I haven't seen Trish for ages. When was the last time. How long has it been since Trish passed away?

God, I don't know, it's been a lot, it's been a while. I'm just sort of done with it, like I've exploited Trish in every possible facet that there's nothing more to do, and it just looks like I'm trying to go back to the glory days.

Yeah. People have said that to me, you need to do a follow up to the bog and Gate video, and I'm like, I fucking showed you ever. I do the tiny town.

Yeah, that's all there is. I'm sure the tea towels have been updated. There's probably a new design with.

Your face on them.

The craft shops closed, the one they're one business. There were too many old ladies dying off.

You could do like a fuck a fucked getaway, Mitch. You could just go to fuck towns and give tours of disgusting towns in Australia. You could two of them.

I'd feel a bit bad slagging off other towns. I can bag my own you and visit some town and be like, this is disgusting, this is shit.

Here I am in Woollongong, low lives. Are you from woo from the Shire? Close enough and you're calling out woolen Gong.

You're from the Shire and you're calling Woolengong as cesspool?

Right?

Look, you're way more than your X radio career. You're very, very very prominent online. People love you when we posted that we were having you on the show, very excited And do you have anch? I believe you prepared one? Is that right? You know what an is? Do we need to explain the basis of the show.

I feel like you should, just in case there's anyone near listening.

If it is your first time listening. We start the show the same way every week, with something you've noticed, something you hate or appreciate that an is it just me? Or an? I gym? I bring one, Mitch brings one, and neither of us know what we're about to say, but.

And Christian's brought one. I also don't know what he's about to say.

So we're a one and I'm really passionate. Really who starts?

We let Christian go first? It seems like it's passionate about it.

Yeah, you're ready to go first? Yep, all right, so we'll can't you win our vio go? Bradley will tee you up and then go straight go for it, all right, Bradley, is it just me?

Do you also hate dog owners? Get the bit fucking hate? I hate dog people. I hate people that own dogs. I love well, No, I don't love dogs.

I just don't. Do you guys own dogs? No? No, No, I've got a cat.

She's just like not far from me in the house. I'm such a cat person because she's a lot like me in energy, where she's like get out of my face. We don't really speak to each other.

I just I live in a really.

Uppity area in Brisbane and there's a trend going around, Oh my dog's friendly and they don't put it on a lead.

Oh I'm just like fuck, Like it's so annoying.

And then they're like, oh, he's so well behaved like, oh, he's friendly. He's a friendly dog. Oh he's so friendly. I'm like, it's not about your dog. The other dogs are on a lead because they're not friendly, and now your dog is just freely walking up to another dog. Oh no, I can't believe you've got a tagg it's vicious,

Yeah.

Like I'm in the middle of the city. To give you an idea, I live in something. It's like Paddington or wool of a Louis. Lots of streets and hills and it's narrow, and I'm like, you want your dog to run, like run free, Like where's it gonna go? It can go ten meters and then there's a road. It's not like, Oh, I don't want to restrict my dog on the lead. I'm like, it can't fucking go anywhere. And they were constantly being like Scout, Scout, sit heel by my side, by my side. No, yes, no, I

Yeah, I said Christian. I was brought this up and have been equally as impassioned on the show before about extendo leads and how they're the bane of my existence. Those at tractable, they're retractable leads. They just go for my They're worse than no leads. Could you get tangled in the legs and then they wrap your thigh and the dog runs through and weaves around different owners. It's a mess. I can't stand them.

It's the worst, and like this whole My dog is friendly, Oh, piss off?

How do you know?

Like Ted Bundy was friendly? Do you think Ted Bundy's mother was like, oh, he's ferocious. No, she thought her son was friendly. He murdered twenty four women. He was not friendly, Like you know.

Oh everyone's friendly until they attack, right, everyone is friendly.

It's also not about whether they're friendly or not, because when they're off the lead and the dogs like come up to you and they like putting their nose up in your business, It's like, I don't care how friendly you are. I just don't want you to touch me, Like I just don't want to be involved.

No, they're gross.

And smelly, and I'm just and then there's one and it's this beautiful giant wolfhout in. It looks fucking terrifying. But like of all accounts, he lives in the local area. He's quite a friendly ish dog. But when his owner goes into the Woolworths, the dog is so enormous, sits right in front of the automatic doors and you can't get in or ound. And it's also because there's young kids.

And you can't rationalize with dog owners too, because it's the baby. No, you can't at all.

They change, They become like, I don't know what it is like, they allow filth into their home. It's discussing the dog smells. It's like sitting on you and they're like, oh, isn't it so cute. I'm like, get it off me. You haven't clipped its clippers. It's paws and now it's sharp. I just I just not I just hate people.

I've sensed that, But what about even dog people who don't own dogs? Like if I'm out with friends and i can't walk more than like ten minutes about my friend just going oh hi baby and just bonding as a random's dog, I'm like, no, ignore Phoebe, my good my good friend and content producer Phoebe is the most obsessive dog person. And we'll go every time there's a dog, and it's like you can't have a conversation with her, and.

Just she has to be excuse me, can I pat your dog?

I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, Oh my god, I've got so many friends like that time I don't have time. And so are you a cat person or just not a pet person?

No, I'm a nothing person.

I may like plants are the only things that I can handle that are living.

So you two just hate joy any sort of form of love joy? No?

What Like dogs are cute, don't get me wrong, so cute and I'll be like, oh, it's such a cute dog, and I'm like, I am done, get it away from me. Like it's annoying, it's got a shit somewhere, it's pissing everyone. I'm like, no, same as children.

Really, I mean I say that I hate people and I hate leaving the house, but when you say it, I can't actually tell if you're kidding, because I feel like it's completely true.

No, I genuinely it's taken me a while.

Like I always thought people like.

You'll find the one, you'll have a relationship, and I was like, yeah, maybe I will. I mean, I'm thirty five and I just don't want. I don't I don't like sleeping in the same bed with someone. I don't want to make a compromise on dinner. I like, you know, being nude and not being judged around the house. I like shit everywhere, Like I live my best life alone. And then when people like if I want to go

It's just like, just do whatever.

And so does your mom do what my mom does where she's always kind of pressuring you. When are we going to meet your special someone and it'll happen one day.

No, my parents have Actually, I think.

Your parents have always known that I'm just a grumpy asshole. Well you've got your sister and brother. Yeah, exactly that they can go to. And they still a bit like are they still doing this on They tap their watch and look at you.

Oh, definitely. And every time I say it's not gonna happen. I don't want kids, Mom's like, you never know, and I'm pretty it can't happen by accident? Can it?

Like not for you?

No? No, it's a bit tricky.

And so you've never been in a relationship, right, No, No, I just have three minute hookups from grinder.

And it's I remember hearing I think it was on God when m Rosciano did Breakfast, when you were on You're doing a segment, and I remember you saying it stuck with me. You had a separate room, a spare room in your house that you would exclusively use four hook cups. So you had your main bedroom you would never fucking there, but the spare guest room was your fucking room. Is that true? Do you still do it? It's true?

Yeah, because my bedroom is gross. It's just messy. And so I just have a guest room that's always made up, that looks super clean that I'm like, oh, look how clean. Name is a human and it's my sex room and a lot of people know that now, so friends just I mean, I don't have any friends, and they also never want to come and stay. So it's fantastic because like, oh, we don't particularly want to stay in your sex room. I'm like, win if.

People are ever in Brisbane, Like, for example, hypothetically, if I'm in Brisbane and I say to you, hey, you want to catch up, are you secretly in the back of your mind thinking.

Cancel, canceled.

Fuck No, I'd rather not.

Like, look, it's not.

Just you, it would be everyone, like everyone, I'm just like just people.

But it's so like I find it so.

Draining, like you know, having it go somewhere here socially catch up. It's all the weird, awkward small talk that like I'm like, I don't you know unless you've got some real juicy gossip and you're willing to hear some juicy stories like I don't particularly want to catch up.

Yeah, Like it could have been a voice message, whatever you have to say it like it could.

Have just been Instagram Instagram messages and then that's that's it.

And I feel like a lot of people find it surprising when people like you, who are so you know, loud and out there and such a performer, they find out that you're an introvert, because would you say you're an intra many.

H yes, very much so just really so. My brother defined extravert an introvert because I was like, well, my mother is the extrovert and I'm so loud in your face, but he said, an extrovert gets energy from socializing and an introvert expels energy from socializing. And I was like, oh my god, I'm an introvert because I hate socializing

That is the perfect tie in to my age. If you don't mind, I can mine is very topical. Sure right now? Do you mind if I leap in? But I'm sure wants it? But okay, Bradley, tease up. Figure out.

To me.

Would you wish people stop fucking asking you to MC their weddings the vein of my existence. Just because I talk for a living doesn't mean I want to talk at your fucking wedding. I don't want to get up and introduce speeches from your family. That is work for me. That's what I do for a living. You wouldn't go to a baker. Oh can you make dinner rolls for my wedding? My family would love it. If you're friends with a butcher, you wouldn't go. Can you provide the

So did you m see your sister's wedding that it has had?

Yes? I am on Saturday.

Family is different though, Yes, because everyone it's a lot easier, and you're performing to an audience of people that you know and love you.

Yeah, and it's it's kind of fun.

It's still a lot of work, but the amount of I hate confrontation. And I've had some close friends say we'd love to offer you the role of MC, and I've been like, can I just come and enjoy the wedding?

That's exactly my point I had. This is true. The only wedding I've been to as a non MC, I was an infant, I was like three, I was a page boy, and I still was on the fucking clock. I haven't checked out and relaxed and enjoyed a wedding my entire life. And the worst part is is when they they make it like, you know, when you offer someone to be a bridesmaid, you're made of honor and they get a little bow and they get the little satin NiTi and they get a little champagne glass. Will

Like it's an opportunity.

Yeah, Like it's an opportunity. Add it to LinkedIn you mc rochelle's wedding. I'm like, I don't want to mc rachelle's. Do people ask you all the time?

CHRISTI yeah, more, yes they do. And it's always really close friends. If you have some random to ask and I'm just like, oh, I don't know.

You send them how much that would cost you? Like your day? Right? They go again about.

It, email Millie and she'll reply with, you know, twenty five thousand dollars per hour. But yeah, when it's close friends, it's just and you have to be like, I'm so sorry, but no, no, no, thank you.

Surely your close friends know you well enough to not even bother asking, like they know how you're wiring.

You'd really hope so, but you would have been asked like both of you would have been asked heaps of times. I reckon, yeah, have you done it before?

I've done it twice. They were both family members though, and so I didn't mind. But then and they were like the first weddings I remembered going to. Yeah, so I thought, yeah, these are what weddings are. And then I had my first non mc wedding. I had no job to do nothing, and I was like, oh, this is what weddings are. Yeah, a fricking party.

I was blind, free, piss up, free food, drunk, aunties, heaven. When you're a guest at a wedding.

When you're and when you're the MC, everyone comes to you. Oh, this is running lake, this has happening. I don't.

I literally say, here's.

Some speeches, welcome a couple, here's some cake, and you have everyone coming to you with their issues. I'm like, I'm not a wedding planner.

My sister came to me and was like, we're running, like we have to cut. We have to cut the cake. We have to cut the cutting of the cake. Wait to be cutting the cake or we cutting the cutting of the cake. She's like, we got to cut the cake. I'm like, what the fuck do you? And we're all yelling and then come on, Eileen's playing and this is too much. My uncle's like, you did a great job, great speech, but I don't give a shit like your

Been the most bitter episode we've ever done.

Oh no, I'm so sorry.

It's really it's setting my heart on fire.

I love this bit. This is Mitch's This is Mitch's dream dream episode. I love like Christian, would you Elope? Because my partner Hayden and I have thought were like, fuck, the money my sister spent on a wedding is nut. You could buy a property with it. I'm like, I'd rather Elope with my boyfriend.

Eloping is like if someone goes, oh we got married, we eloped, I'm like, that is fantastic.

One.

As much as I like, I know, I'm just like, I don't want to MC, I'd rather go to the wedding. I wouldn't even go to the wedding. Great, there's a wedding I don't have to go to. And also, unlike that money you're saving, you can now afford to put on a house deposit because house prices in today's day and age are fucking stupid.

Yeah yeah, this actually flows in quite nicely to mine. Is it just me that I've just thought of as well? Bradley hit it?

Oh look, you think we're all broadcast professional stupid? Is it just me?

Is one of the worst parts about going to a wedding having to get dressed up in formal clothes that are uncomfortable as fuck. There's no such thing as comfany formal wear a suit.

No, I disagree. I am most comfortable, and I'm a big boy, I'm a chunky boy. I am most comfortable in a suit. A dummas.

I would never have guessed that, because, like for a fatty like me, suits are the most uncomfortable, unflattering, horrible feeling. And I know you would have both had to wear them a lot because you've got to put on a suit for all these radio functions and awards nights, and it's awful.

It's sweaty and gross and uncomfortable. Really No, I like it because it cinches me in. I feel so protected, like I'm in a little cocoon like. I love the bow tie hides the neck. I love the white shirt, and the jacket hides the tits.

Well. See, I like a bit of movement in my outfits. If I'm wearing a suit jacket, I can't put my hands up and dance like a little.

Oh yeah right right.

I can understand it from a hiding perspective, because a blazer like it makes you look smarter, and it draws this V line in so it makes you a bit because it's all fitted. It makes you look a bit fit your shape, but it's so uncomfortable and as soon as you take the like sort of blazer top off, everything's hanging out. The buttons are so tight and they're like you look like a pressed hand. I just like it's just the worst.

Oh, I love it. I've invested in a good pair of Nancy Dance. I had to do something for the Arias last year, and I.

Like, you know, spanks, like the stuff that sucks you in.

Yeah. I think I think Nancy Dans is a name of a woman who has her own life. I love the Nancy Gans. Yeah, she's very I love Nancy Comfortable.

Though, absolutely.

Ah so I think I like punctured the kidney, but I look so slim.

Christen, this has come up on the podcast before. One time. My egen was is it just me or does Nancy Gance deserve to be shot? Which is like those things are fuck?

Why would you be wearing Nancy Gance, idiot? You're a rake? Because a rake.

We did our podcast photo shoot the week we came out of lockdown, so no, we were three months. I was like, oh, I'm not feeling great.

Oh yeah, thirteen kilos later. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she game thirteen over since so I have just gotten back into like this real fitness routine and I logged back into my Fitness Pal. It had my starting weight when I joined it back in early twenty twenty, which was thirteen kilos lighter, and then I was like, oh, I actually signed up in twoy thirteen, so I was like, what was my starting weight then? So I'm I'm currently one hundred and fourteen in twenty thirteen, I was eighty kilos.

Like, oh my god, that's like blow away in the breeze. Like I put, You're also a kid, You're a child? No, I was like mid twenty twenty thirteen.

We were children.

We were sorry, yeah, I've got it wrong. I was a kid. We were Josh born.

Yeah, Now I was like ten years out of high school at that point. You were like we were you, Devin, you.

Should follow these idiots online. Search a couple of mitches you're listening to.

Is it just me? Yes? This is it just me? We're he was Christian Hall. By the way, if you want to see Christian alive in Melbourne, Sydney or Perth, head to more Talent Dot com dot. Are you to get your tickets? You go it on tour? Christian?

Oh God, I love you. Yes, I am. I'm very excited that the world is starting to open up again and I can go and see people.

Do you do meet and greets? So how do you cope with that? If you hate people.

Or they're paying, it's different when they pay. When they pay, they can have all the time in the world. But yeah, usually I'll try to meet people. Covids put a big squash on it because a lot of venues don't want that, and also it can be a lot of It's a bit of a risk at the moment. So I haven't been doing it and loving the fact that I don't have.

To do it. Is it true that you didn't, like you weren't really keen to do stand up shows? A kind of pushed in.

I was forced into it, My management forced me into it, and then I hated every moment of it. Did four shows. I was like, never doing that again, and then they paid me and I was like, sorry, Oh that's how much I made.

I will absolutely do more.

Oh so you actually hated doing the shows as well? Because I was pretty similar, Like I wasn't that Keen. I was kind of pushed into it, and I was like, I could easily hate.

What did you hate it?

I actually loved doing it in the end good good.

I hated. I didn't think it was funny. I thought it was really awkward. I just didn't. I didn't like the fact that, like, I'm really people needed to be laughing for the exit, like ha, for the full hour. Otherwise I was like, I'm bombing. And you get used to that, and I now appreciate the sight at moments because you need those where you can you know, it's not that they're not interested if they're not laughing, it's just that you've got to build that story up to

How would you cope doing something like an open mic night where the people there don't.

Know you, so you test your material out on paying fans. Yeah.

So the very first and second shows are my test shows, and then I sort of work it from there and by the time I'm finished, I'm like great. By the thirtieth time, I'm like this is a great show. Congratulations to those who came to the very last show. Well there you go, guys, go and see Christian on the maybe fourth fIF because I've done this show. I did this show about forty times last year, so this is the same show that I'm touring.

Ah yeah, all right, recycling material more talent dot com dot you go, go and see Christian live. That's good, let's do it. Is it just you, Christian? So this is when we get someone to write in or they send us a voice note on our Instagram and we we just critique them. We answer their question today. This one's from Corey, and Corey says, is it just me? Or do you not understand the auto function? He says, like,

I'm the same. I don't use auto when I do auto air conditioning in my car, drive fans car. It's like it just I'm like, how does it? What is it? It doesn't stop, it doesn't feel like like I'm really trying to get eighteen degrees as soon as possible.

I'm like, I don't want that.

I'm like Corey, I don't trust anything that says auto. I'm like, nah, I want to be in control.

Yeah, maybe that's our personality types. You want to be in control of everything.

What about if there was a machine that was auto filatio would you trust that? Would you put your dick in it?

Absolutely?

God?

I would every time?

Do you have a flesh like Christian? Sorry?

I used to, and now I get sent a lot of them because I did a TikTok and now people send me like ones with like water jets and air compressors.

Oh, I've got a partner, so I have a real I guess a real line of flesh like that's not needed. But I have always even like seventeen and eighteen, but I lived at home. That stopped me from ordering one. But I'd love the sensation of trying, and I think it'd be so fun. Yeah. Yeah, it gets a bit old, that's it. Yeah, I can't believe it.

It's referred to Hayden as your real flesh.

I would know it's a beautiful person. What he is real? Once you see him, we go, oh yeah, that's the walking first lion. Well, I well know. I all right, Thank you, Corey. That was a great Is it just you?

Now? When we put on our Facebook group Christian that you were coming on the podcast, one of our listeners said, oh, you need to get Christian to do one of your sound of Silence calls. There's an opener for this. Let's get into it.

Love silence.

So how sound of Silence works? Call someone and then when they answered the phone, you have a little bit of a chat. And then once they ask you a question, it might.

Be oh, so what did you call for? What do you need?

Something like that. As soon as they ask a question, you just don't answer it and see how long they stay on the line waiting for you to answer it. And then you're only allowed to speak once to try and extend the.

Silence one bridge phrase.

Yeah, you might say something like yeah I'm still here or oh yeah just a sec and then you just got to see how long that silence.

So ready, I'm so excited for this.

It picked you to be someone who hates something like this. To be honest, the only.

Reason I'm so excited for this is because I know I'm going to do really well. Because my content producer, Phoebe, I could literally be like just one second and she will hold on the phone for half an hour. Just wait, your employee, no, because yeah, a little bit, because your boss you pay.

Me this idea.

And I was like, absolutely not, I'm not doing that. And the only person I'm going to do it with is Phoebe because one, I know she won't get offended, and two, I will absolutely nail this challenge. She talks and asks a lot of questions, So this could go. This could go one of two ways.

Okay, well, I'm pretty sure the record is like two minutes twelve or something around the two minute mark when Nap Panhalt did it, So I actually going to beat that one. If she spent the time reckon that, you'll produce the phoebe. This is gonna like wait until you're ready to talk.

Here we go, all right?

Ring?

Who? Hello?

Oh Hi?

Sorry, I just wanted to ask, did you before I go to this appointment, did you have any questions for me?

Because I'm just gonna be gone a while.

Man, huh.

Are you still there?

Yeah? One second? Sorry?

What is going on?

So sorry? So sorry?

I just I just wanted to check because I'm going offline for a little bit. Did you did you need anything from me?

No?

I'm okay, not all good?

Right, I'm I'm only going off fine for.

Dont work with the whip at one thirty? What is going on?

Are you using me and saying weird things?

What is going on? So sorry, I'm just stuck in something.

Hold on, hold on, hold on?

Kay?

Is that it?

You can tell her if you want? You beat the record?

You beat the record. You've won.

I mean you're kind of cheated. Yeah, you were speaking more than once, but whatever, we'll claim any won.

It's Christian hell, he can take Hi.

Yes, sorry, I'm playing a game and I just had to keep you on the phone, and there had to be a lot of awkward silences, and we won.

A team.

I'll buy you one small coffee thanks for.

A couple of Mitch said hi, A couple of Mitch said hi.

Yah.

She knows and loves who you are, so she's going to be mortified.

But I'll talk to you soon.

I'm actually not going on fine, but I'll talk you a minute. Blah blah.

Yeah, let's go.

Oh my god, can you play the promo, which is a couple of Mitches say hi, Oh my god.

I love that. That is too perfect on many levels. All right, guys, Christian, hell you can go and see him live. Like we said, you're a superstar. We love you so much.

Thank you for being here, Thank you so much for having me.

I'll talk to you soon.

Love Yeah. Also, you can check out our Christian's podcast, where he yeah, pretty much just abandons every rule he learned in radio about you know, keeping it tight, getting to the point quickly. It's called complete driven.

Although I did think in the middle of that, I'm like, well, people are currently listening to two and a half minutes of silence on your podcast.

So love Yeah, thanks for coming on. We'll talk sooner, right right.

I know what you're thinking. If you're a loyal listener, I fucked up. I fucked up. I made a grave error and forgot to ask Christian the same question that we ask every guest, which is, what is something that you believe is better than drugs and dick? Because you know, we like to remind you that there's more to life than partying and boys. So we ask every single one of our guests to tell us a little thing in life they appreciate. So Angela Bishop said her waterbed is

Great question, because to be honest, nothing is better than dick. Like, there's nothing I knew he was going to suck and I the only drugs I've ever done well, No, I've done, no, I did. Yeah, I won't go. Yeah, there's no need to share with you what drugs I did.

Well for me?

I'm thirty five.

Remember this in my answer gardening beautiful. I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane, and Melbourne I killed everything I ever tried to grow because Melbourne sucks. But Brisbane plenty of sunshine, plenty of rain my garden. So it's just it's the garden of Eden. Like it's so beautiful and it's so therapeutic to garden, and I absolutely love it. And sometimes I like putting dick in my mouth in my garden, so you know, it just makes things a bit more fun.

There we go. I fixed my error. So now back to the podcast, where were we butt me's this hung up with them?

But he just he put his finger up at us too. Did you see that? He went fuck him?

Now if we want that, we would not that I would.

He is so he's so genuine, he's so sweet.

I should never do what he does. Or he does a solo podcast.

What's it called mindless drivel? No, complete, drible, complete drivell. I've got friends that love it. I've got family, and I listened.

To it a lot as well. It's like, it's amazing how he can just be sitting there doing nothing and it's so fascinating.

Well, that's what Hayden loves to put like old episodes of Friends on, and he watches old series of drag Race just to kill the time and have something playing. And you kind of pick up twenty percent of it. So maybe that's what it's perfect.

You know you've actually because there's so much silence in his podcast, it's like you'd just be like, all right, now, hang on, all right, like the sort of thing that you'd usually edit out. Like it actually makes me lean in a bit further. I'm like, oh, what's he doing.

We'll go and have a listen.

And he goes on so many tangents. It's great really.

Unlike this show. We're professionally titan, right, it's not us. Also, I love I love that. Who like that is perfect?

I know I do. That's already in next a scene, hopeing already.

Sensational stuff out of Christian All right, well let's go before we go there, guys, you have me hours left to shop our feb fits merch range. It's it's closing at midnight.

Yeah, so this episode comes out literally a day before our feb Fits Merchant or Clothes. So if you're listening to this in March, sorry you missed out. No merch for you.

Yeah, or if you're listening in thirty years time, the merch was so big Kanye West brought us out. So it's in your teams. Yeah, it's in there. What's the one in Sinney Maritime Museum.

They've actually got Madame to Thord's wearing wax versions of our merchant as well.

Yeah. So the merchan is available right now. If you're listening live, go and go and grab some and don't forget to get the blue pop socket that is ours Sun for the day, Everyone for the day. Why am I pretending we're live on the air.

I know?

All right, Well, thanks for listening and we will see you guys next week.

Don't forget it for coming on.

Yeah, Christians a superstar, leave us a five star review. You can do it on Spotify now. I was on Spotify the other day and.

Leave a rating. On Spotify they don't let you write words, but you can leave a five star rating.

Well, you can word us up on Apple podcast. It keeps us going. And thank you to Apple. I'm sure Tim Cook is listening. Featuring us in the gay section.

The Mardi Gras. They featured us on the Mardi Gras homepage. Yeah, Apple Podcasts, And when you're browsing, we were under the heading Louder than Ever, I'm like, yeah, that sounds bad, right.

Maybe there's an issue with the levels on the show and they could hear one of us before, but we are loud of it. Ever, we're very gay, So.

I love how as louder than ever as though we were once quiet.

But god, they fucking nowadays.

Yeah, they can't shut up them up exactly.

All right, we'll see you next week. Thank you for listening. Everyone, We love you.

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on the end, So we pretend that we're done and then we keep chatting away. Nothing's planned or structured in this bit, so we trick you. Yeah, welcome talk shit. Essentially, you've been tricked.

Do you think there's anyone listening now that's new?

This?

God, what I've just discovering it.

Oh, sometimes people do. But other people say to me, do you really expect people to believe you when you wrap up the show because you can see quite clearly on your phone that there's like twenty minutes left. But I'm like, I never look at podcasts and go how long is left? As soon as they say we're done, I go all right, same, so like I reckon there, we could trick people easily. Also, I sometimes cut podcasts up at their wrap. I don't want to listen to their fucking rap, and all they.

Say is follow us, see us next week, thanks for listening, you know, Tops and tails. I will cut it off if I know they've still got five minutes left and they're going to wrap by bar.

Yeah, they actually do send you that data. It shows you when people drop off and stop listening. And for trash Ally Me other podcast, it's whenever we go all right, well it's been another great week, thanks for listening. People start to trickle off there because they're like whatever they're wrapping up, But for this podcast, I think people are figured it out because they stick around to the very very end because they're like, what are they going to say in the secret segment.

It's a genius marketing by us, A genius way TSL time spent listener.

No, it's not genius because I genuinely don't want people to.

Hear this true. This is the worst part.

Can't you do with you're told and stop listening? People?

Fuck if you haven't got your merch share, I mean, god, guys, a little plug you might miss out. And this is our best yet.

I do love it. I've got plenty hanging in mid wardrobe, but I need to buy some myself actually, because I've got like the mocks, Yeah, the samples.

Yeah, Hayden's wearing the sample to bed. The singler's ashamed to wear that out in public.

Yeah, that's a bit rude because it's a freebie black shirt. Maybe maybe if he paid for it to be different.

Now he's wearing the tidye too. He could wear that to the gym. It's perfect for the gym.

I wouldn't wear it to the gym, No, I wouldn't want to get that all sweaty and yuck.

I know, you know Hayden, he loves to stand out out and proud in the Ti Diye. I thought that's what you meant. I don't want to stand out of the gym.

No, but like that material gym no.

Yeah. And also you know when you sweat and you need a T shirt to mop it up if.

You I don't use the shirt, but yeah, no.

Have you ever won like a singer and you can feel the sweat dripping like it's not being collected anyway. Yeah, it's the worst. That's what. I could never go to the gym in something like that.

Yeah, that's the only downside of all the oversized shirts they wear because I don't really cling to your arm, then they're meant to be bagging and I'm like, oh, I can feel the sweat.

Well, isn't that funny that my agym, your origin Christians gym all float on from each other.

I know. Well that was not what I was originally going to use as my agent, but then I thought of it as we were talking, and I was like, right, this is going to work. Well.

I had another one that I was going to use about bigger boys, because Christian's a bigger boy and I thought he'll be able to back me up on this. But my MC one is perfect because I was gonna do it if we didn't have Christian anyway, It's.

Funny because you say he's a bigger boy. But every time I see him, I'm like, shit, I forget how small you are, Like he's tiny, shortman.

Oh yeah, and it's not even so shoby, it's just because you're so short.

Like I'm not exactly a tall person, but I feel like a fucking giraffe because they want to stand next to Christian. He's like a little beengue.

He's tiny. And I saw him with ten yar Hannessy and he's shorter than ten you Hennessy?

How tall is Sonya Hanns just a bit taller than Christian? Half great tonight?

Yeah great to know, good metric. Oh you know you love him? It's true. So I have my sister's wedding. I want to talk about my sister's wedding over the weekend. Oh my god, it was a love fest. I felt so loved.

Did they go all out because he said it was expensive?

Oh, like I think I think it was. Yeah, I don't know, but I think it was tens of thousands of dollars up up.

With fifty that you'd think.

So Mum said that the flower arrangements were six thousand dollars on their own What the fuck the flowers that dying a day?

See, that's something that I feel like. Actually, no, I do love flowers. If I was having a wedding, which again huge hypothetical, probably never gonna happen, will, I would be looking for I don't say it will, you sound like my mother It won't because and I'm fine with that.

Do you want me to stop saying it will? I mean, it's the first time I fucking said it.

You can say it could because maybe it could, but like I don't, it's not.

That's not that's nurturing at all.

It could, Yeah, that's no. But when you say it will, that makes it sound like I don't have a choice. True, I'm just I'm comfortable if it doesn't ever happen. But anyway, I'd be looking for things to skimp on because it's like, I don't need to spend by the most expensive shit for every little element of the wedding. Maybe I'd skimp on a DJ and I'd just get an ox cord, yes, because I'd rather be the DJ myself and we've.

Got an ox call lying around, so save the money buying one exactly what I already own it.

Yeah, yeah, I reckon, that's something i'd skimp on. I wouldn't want a band there whatever.

That's what Becky skimped on. My sister Becky was like, we got the thin paper on the brochures. I'm like, great, you don't need you don't need thick four ply paper on the pamphlets because people people fold that up, put it in their suit jacket, and they wash it and it gets grossed and they never look at it again.

I'd also be quite comfortable wearing like a cheap, shitty suit, I reckon. I was thinking about this while we had Kristin on. If I ever had a wedding, I would make the dress code like comfy. I don't want people in formals at mine, because I don't want to be informals at mine.

What would you wear?

A long, flowy V neck top that makes me look cute. Maybe some shorts, I don't know.

Yeah, sure, it's to be nice. There was some shorts, there was. It was a very traditional wedding of this, this one. I was in the I was a groomsman with my new brack and I made a speech. You would have been very proud speech, great tor the house down. It was messy and you know what it made me think, made me think you will be in my bridal party.

Yeah, I've already shot guns. Well I'm just letting because you have no brothers, so I've got that advantage.

Yeah, but you've shot gun. I think we discussed it. I don't know if it was on the on the cloud or not, but I was like, oh maybe, but after being at a wedding and this close to my life and being my sister and I could see it happening with Hayden, I thought, oh yeah, I want you up there.

I think you're both good for it too. You guys could afford a wedding.

I think we'd be okay.

Yeah. Would I be just one of the groomsmen or the best man?

Well? Best man is I don't know that? Is that too traditional?

Maybe actually something more gender and utual, like best one best them? No, I don't use they then pro just.

Now his best, just his best, he's the best, he's the best. Mitchell Coombs. Yeah, now, yeah, you would, I think you would be. I don't know, I'm gonna.

Have to do that mean I have to organize the hen Yes, so both or no?

Well that's that's the thing because we're gay. Fuck tradition. I don't think we'll have a Bucks. We're gonna have separate bucks. I don't want to have a Bucks. I just want to go out and get pissed with friends before the wedding. That'd be well, that's a letter be Yeah.

Again, that's an opportunity to skim because you don't like alcohol. So if I waste money, imagine it's my money. Imagine if you and Hayden both had bridesmaids and groomsmen each, because you know how it's always like, oh, the bride and her bridal party, she chooses them, and then the groom and his greensman and he chooses them. That wouldn't that would mean that neither you get women, So you should both have a pool of each.

Yes, we are, we are, so I've already I'm doing my two sisters. Which was weird because Becky was like, we want you to be in the party of the women and the men, but we're gonna put you with the men. I think because she's more traditional than brother in law.

It was very weird.

I'd much rather be with the girls, which meant on the day of the wedding and it was in the farm. They were at different properties right the day of the wedding. Hayden was of the girls because he walked my mum down the aisle. Okay, isn't she No, No, the dad walks down the aisle with the bright So mum was gonna come in on her own and she felt awkward, so she she begged Hayden to do it, and he was like, I don't want to.

He would have had such impolter syndrome, like why the fuck am I walking down the aisle?

Yes, everyone was like who the fuck is that? And he was wearing a thick court Did you see what he was wearing?

Cow? But I didn't really pay that much attention.

It was a thick corduroy suit.

I've just gurgled best man wedding duties because I don't know what I'm agreeing to here other than other than having to organize the hens and all that.

Yeah, Hans, I think you have to console me on the day, and you do know how to talk me off a ledge. You're very good at distressing me.

When I hoped that I wouldn't have to talk you off a ledge on your wedding dight, not.

No, but stressed, and my auntie's being a bitch. Where's the cake?

Right?

My boat tie?

I'm I'll be that bitch. You don't even know what's going on.

Yeah, that's good.

What are you aunties names?

Uh?

Would you have Karen?

I'd be like, Karen, we've been through this. Get the fuck out of my kitchen. The kitchen, yeah, because I'd be there, like organizing the cake and stuff. So I've got to organize the bachelor party, help the groom and greensmen get their wedding attire.

Oh fuck that Yeah, because I have to pay for all the suits.

Good, maybe I won't skimp on the suits.

Then you'd have access to my bank card. I just go with you a debit and you just go spend it. That's actually right up your alley.

Ensure that the groom and greensmen get to the ceremony on time. Oh fuck, you're organized. You do make it, it, says ensure the groom and greensman. So I have to make sure you get there on time.

Joe, imagine me on my wedding day.

Hold on to the wedding rings. I can do that, serve as a witness. Oh, I get to my signatures on your marriage license. Ah, fabulous, but we have probably have the same signature.

Yeah the amount of Jack's got about that MC and you're an MC A same.

Shut up, you know what I realized recently. So just while we're talking about our initials, out of all the podcasts I've done, my name's never been first because we try to do alphabetical order. So it's fair. So not my cup of tea with Achelan Mitch and Talisia Achland, she came first, obviously, Trash Alley with all right, hey, Mitchell Kumbs, all right, hay begins to a that comes first this podcast. I was so fucking close down to the initials I have, Mitchell c and then you eclipse me with.

It if you haste of co.

I was that close to getting first on the naming rights.

But well, but hold on, even Mitchell Kumbs and Mitchy Mitchtue, Mitchell Crimbs. I guess because it is just me. It's not like we're not a duo in that sense. I think it works.

Offer the first toast to the newlyweds. Hah, that means I have to do the first toast. Fabulous. No, I have to make sure that you get pissed by the first toes, it'll probably be my tenth little bit.

I don't think you have to do this. These are just options.

Collect gifts and cards from the guests. I can do that.

Yeah, Becky and Kurt had a wishing Well, is that.

What you're going to do?

I think so.

Yeah, I don't want all this random clutter.

You know they got I probably shouldn't be saying this, but they got eighteen thousand dollars from the guests share in money. I'd feel bad taking money from family and friends.

Well, they're kind of they see it as like paying for their meal. Really like the bit of restaurant because they're getting free food and shit.

Out of it. Oh, the food was phenomenal.

Yeah, exactly, So it's kind of like paying for that any way.

True. I didn't even think of that.

Decorate the getaway car.

Get away car.

Yeah, you know how the bride and groom. Sorry sorry, why did I use straight terminology? You know how the groom and groom drive away with like the just married banner and shit on their car driving, you know, dragging tin cans and all that. Yeah, apparently I'm a charge of the decorating the car.

We didn't. We didn't do that. Also, I think what you are in charge of is you're in charge of delegating to the bridal party. So you can tell Becky Rachel, my two sisters fucking do the car. You're the boss, so you can delegate all these tasks. Really, all you need to do is be there to sign.

Oh my god, I'm absolutely the right person.

Well I don't know you actually are.

Oh this is going to be fabulous.

As an interview why we get married? And I hate I have to announce this to everyone. Hayden caught the bouquet. Did you see the footage?

No?

Oh, but isn't that That's that's saying something, isn't it? Because I feel like it. You know how people say when you want kids, you're clucky.

Yeah.

I don't know what the word is for weddings, but I feel like or clucky to get married after seeing your sister get married.

Let me yeah, I am. It was a beautiful ceremony. You know how I love family, So a three day get away with nothing but family is I loved it. I was in heaven. This is the footage. Play it. He almost runs at it like I should take it as a compliment that he wants to.

Oh god, yeah, yeah. It didn't look like there was much competition there. There weren't many people lining up to get the buquet. To be fair, okay, sea, there was a sea.

Of women behind him that were very unimpressed.

Yeah but he oh right, because he couldn't see that in the video. But yeah, he dove out in front of them.

Yoh, he went out of his way to get it.

Well, to be fair, your sister is also a shit aim Like she threw the bouquet like basically right behind her feet.

He sort of appeared out of nowhere. It was quite bizarre. All the women behind him were screaming.

Oh I see the other angle now yeah, wow, Well he had to dive forward because your sister can't throw for shit, Like I'm if you. Obviously everyone listening can't see this, but like, there's the bride there about to throw the flowers behind her. People are about ten meters away, and the flowers landed right next to her ankles. She didn't really throw it, there was a heave.

I think it was planned. I think they put heat it up because she wants him to be brother in law. Of course, all the family do, which is the pressure as well. All the family like, well you're next? Like, well are you not? Here? We are, but anyone could be next.

Oh god, you're starting to sound like Mitchell Combs. No, I don't want to be told what to do. Why I shan't be next? I will be probably. I just know it's not going to happen for a while. I don't want to get married yet. It's too early, too soon, fair enough? I mean here I am being like, nah, I get married, but it does not affect my life one bit. Sides, I can't really comment.

I also don't want to get divorced, not that we would, but you want to just you want to live together. You want to do everything together. We even want to live overseas for a little bit together before we get married.

I want to anyway, you know that even though you're not married now, he's pretty much legally entitled to anything that you would be because you've been living together for ages, so he's a de facto So if you guys broke up, he could absolutely go to court and try and take so many money? Or do you want me to draft a prenup? Now?

Can you get like? Will we do a prenup now I'm not wealthy enough.

Well that's true, but you could also take him to court. On the flip side, if you break up now as day factors, you could claim half of everything he's entitled.

Take him to the doctors today. And I barely wanted to do that. Imagine taking him to court. Couldn't be fucked.

Well, I don't think you have to take him, you know what I mean. But yeah, I didn't realize that until recently. Someone told me that, oh, if you're living together, I think it's six months or something, then you count as to factos and you basically have the same legal entitlements as a married couple. And I'm like, I will absolutely be that bitch, even though I don't have heaps

What is de facto? I've just googled it because it's still week. De facto.

It just means you're a couple that is as strong as a married couple, but you're not legally married.

I guess, oh it means expressed by law in Latin.

See see you've got a Can we start calling Hayden you're gay facto?

Yes? Gay facto?

Are joining us now? Is Mitche's gay facto? Hayden? I mean, you could be dating someone for five years and not living with them and you're not de fact But as soon as you're living together the facto.

It's not creat It's so much easier to live together, you're not. The current issues in our household is that Hayden can't fucking drive and it is driving me literally, I have no pun intended insane because he's got all these doctor appoinments because of the way he reacted to COVID, which is great. We're getting to the bottom of it, but the eight am and I have.

To go with him.

I've got to drive it.

Well, maybe Hayden should be the one that we teach to drive now that we've done Jenna. She's not licensed gent but we have to take your gay facto el plating I'd do it. Yeah, Why don't you though, because if he.

Doesn't want to do it, he does not want to drive, Because.

You should turn around and say, maybe I don't.

Want to drive, I do it. All the time because I can't drink. I think, I honestly think my lack of drinking now I very rarely drink is because I have to fucking drive all the time at every function. He can get blind and then I'm desot.

Oh that's bullshit. Yeah, and you know he's got it good. He knows exactly what's going on.

Thank you for. And his mum knows it too. His mom's like, don't you fuck let him get awa with it. Every lunch we go to she brings up ROMs and just like slides from the phone and guess and she's like, I'll pay for it. I'll buy I'll buy you a car. He has everything he needs, yeah, yeah, to be set up. He just doesn't want to do it.

I don't know what I do without the ability to drive. I feel i'd feel like my wings have been clipped. Yeah.

Have you've actually clipped the bird's wings? It's very traumatic.

No, I've never had the need to clip someone's wings.

I've actually clipped bird's wings. It's all the reason because it's like a toenail. You can clip the wing, but most of it's cartlet. But then you get to actual bone and you've got to sort.

Of like judge, similar to when I'm cutting the cat's claw. Yes, some of its actual flesh, some of it's just yeah.

Yes, but it's a fucking wing, so it's like there are it's actually really feathers. Yeah, the feathers, but the bird squawks. It's a little head off. We grew up with budget.

Where the fuck were you clipping its wings?

Because you've got otherwise to fly away. You need to clip Budge's wings. So then you can let them roam the house and they won't fly. Oh, they can glide. They can jump from there to there and they will glide down, but they can't get catch flight.

That would be so fucked if someone just cut my toes off. We don't want him running off. Yes, oh yeah, I don't know what i'd do if I all of a sudden just couldn't drive. You should just tell Hayden you lost your license.

I'm close to, I'm really close to just.

Like photocopy a bunch of fines you've already got and then be like, yeah, another one. We've got no demerits, Send me one of the RMS letters. I'll photoshop. But to say you've got zero demerit points left and your fy has to get it.

We faced that because I almost lost my I did lose my license and his mom had to take a point for me. That probably shouldn't be on the record, should it.

Oh it's he now. Fuck, my mum's done the same for me.

It's okay, good, there we go.

It's because my car used to be in her name, so I got a fine and the pointsman of her license. She goes, I'll cop it just this once. But yeah, so I didn't ask her to take points for me.

I'm done by one of those. They hidden the speed cameras and they've removed the signage. You New South Wales anyway, so you don't know. It could just be a fucking missen sitting on the side of the road scanning you for speed. Yeah.

I don't understand why they've taken the signs away, because don't you want people to slow down?

Yeah, And they're like, it's not for revenue raising bulls of safety?

I call how was that for safety? Because the signs people slow down, their bite they're being saved.

Fuck governments.

Oh there's a plane flowing over right now. There's a reason that we're recording from home today. By the way, idiots, the KISSFM studio was flooded during the horrific Sydney weather so yep, here we are.

I was there and water droplets started trickling down from the ceiling onto the panel, which, mind you, is probably two hundred thousand dollars, the control panel that broadcasts the station. Drip drip going into this expensive panel, and they freak freakd the fuck out.

The roof must be real fucked.

Yeah.

It happened literally yesterday when I was at lunch with the Right Hay and we were bitching about the studio that we've called trash Allien because it's like in an office building but closer to the ground floor. So if a big truck drives passed, the producer Michelle will scream out stop and we just have to stop talking and let the and then she goes all right, keep talking, and we're like, fuck, we've forgotten where we were at.

Yeah, it loses all.

We were thinking, Jesus, what's the bit got to do to get some soundproofing in this office because it kind of throws it ruins the flow because a plane will fly over, a garbage truck will drive pass and we just have to keep stopping and starting. You'd never know what.

About this studio here, this is We're in Mitchell's closet, for God's sake.

But yeah, as we were having this conversation yesterday about how shit our studio is, you and Jenna are sent in the group chat pictures of the Kids FM studio flooded. So I was like, both my studios are fucked, and I was like, catch me working from home every week for the rest of my life because I'm so overish, And isn't it good?

Like it? Actually you can go to the bathroom, you can go to the kitchen.

Yeah.

I love working from home, and I love the little home studio you've got set up. You got blankies on the wall.

Trying to dampen it a bit. So what happened with your radio show last night? The studio was fast and we couldn't do the podcast there today because it's still fund I had to be could you.

Could use it for recording purposes obviously, like the backup studio put it on the show.

Backup studio just me.

It was a real mess.

Fucking You just wouldn't expect that a bit of rain would cripple the radio station. The wh is it not waterproof?

Yeah? The number one network in the country.

It's so funny.

Community radio stations are more and more secure weather wise than us.

I feel like my house in particular, I don't know what it is about it, but it must be so well sound proved, or the walls must be really thick, because there's no background noise whatsoever. But if you open my window even a crack, you'll hear like the busy R street that I live above out there, Like it is so loud outside.

Yeah, you're right, isn't here? Yeah, it's very busy.

I'm gonna go open the window just to prove it. I don't know what it is about, Okay, we need to get walls like this interrastion alley so you can't hear shit happening outside. I'm going to show you they are thick walls though, now you mention it ready, how' much loud of is that?

Oh my god?

You should hear it during peak hour and now nothing.

Couldn't hear a fire fat fly far so natural Light's quite nice.

You're great, Marti Garras. Next week Green He's actually sweep by the time this episode sounded what are you doing?

I saw you're all over TikTok. You're the face of martograph TikTok or something.

Oh yeah, I saw that too. They chose me looking real grumpy in that photo, didn't You had.

Your arms crossed and everything and all right, hey was behind you?

Yeah, but I did love to be behind you. Yeah, I'm just doing the TikTok float again. I nearly pulled out because I just couldn't be asked learning the dance. But no, no, I'll do it.

Wait wait, wait, what's the dance?

I don't know, that's the problem.

So you're on the the TikTok martograph float like you were.

Last year in the parade, and I was like, maybe I should just go as a spectator this year. But I was like, oh, I'm in too deep now. They've got my fucking photo plasted on the TikTok app saying, oh Marti gras as one of the people that's going. So I'm like, oh, I'm in too deep now, I better learn the dance.

You were good last year and you were so blind, remember, like you were drunk.

Now I wasn't.

Why were you sober during the parade?

I was one hundred percent sober, which is so it was so odd because I'm always a little bit tipsy at least during the parade. Remember whenever we did the kids float, they'd priced with an alcohol as we were getting ready. Yeah, and then we'd end up being blind in the parade. But last year there was nothing. Didn't like it. I'm getting blind this year. I don't care if I have to smuggle a flask of booths at my ass. It's going to be one.

I'll be there. I'm broadcasting live. Like Christian said, I'll snooz throw one at me. I will in a water bottle. I don't know what. Hayden's going to be there. Hayden's birthday on that day.

Oh how perfect.

Yeah, so we're gonna have a big celebration. It's going to be a big thing. It'd be quite fun. I love Mardi Gras. I actually think the SCG Marti gra if you've never been or if you're coming comes out igh to us, we'll both be there. In Sydney. But they used to do it down Oxford Street, the gay street in the city, and now it's in the Cricket Ground.

In the stadium in the stadium and I love it. Yeah, I don't mind it. I think it'll end up back on Oxford Street, which is like fine because like, oh, for old time's sake, it's more historic doing it on the street. Yeah, I kind of like the scg VI the cricket ground. It's weird that it's a cricket ground.

Yeah, it doesn't feel synonymous with gays walking around in crop tops and leather belts.

And also when I say I'm on the TikTok float, because we're doing it on a fucking cricket pitch and they don't want to ruin the grass. You can't physically drive floats on there. So when I say that I'm on the float, I'm just doing a on foot like things floating. No, there's no vehicles on that, like you've you've got people with giant props to try and make up for the fact that they don't have a physical float, because usually it's people on the back of trucks and yeah, nah,

Possey, You're rallying. You're rallying. Yeah, I remember that. You get the most awkward, fuck it the most random. I should say floats. They're like gays for dogs and it's just gays who love dogskes on bikes, dikes on bikes, gays who love toast to breakfast. I'll put myself on that point.

I wonder if we could do it? Is it just me? Float? It'll probably cost a bomb to get in there.

Oh my god, it what I wonder?

Probably a lot. We'd be good for it.

Don't worry, but have contacts. I could ring someone.

I need a coffee. I'm starting to fade.

Yeah, same, We should probably go. Thank you to Christian Hall for coming on one of the Yes.

It feels like forever I gues, doesn't it ever?

Thank you Christian. We love and we'll see you guys next week. Merch is available minutes. You've got mere minutes.

To go out by if you're listening to these episode the day it drops like the last a WI It's literally the last day you could auder emerge and then the stores closed.

You have to shop it on Facebook Marketplace and pay premium. I'm thinking you for listening. Five star reviews please if you're so kind, write us one on Apple podcast too. That keeps us going. Otherwise, we'll see you next week for ninety nine.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all.

So we do, So we do, so we do.

It's not quite the same without the chorus of Jenner and Sam saying it in unison.

One person saying it sounds a bit creepy, So we do, so we do a bit cold. All right, let's get that coffee.

Yeah, all right, we'll catch you next week. It's lovey happy martogram.

Is It just Me?

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