#94: Talkback King, John Laws

People do some weird shit. Television legend Carrie Ane Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippot Fuckingrinch. Some things make more sense than others.

Bring Pikes, nurseries, Murcury Pikes, p y k e Sky Why I hey, as in kill hey?

Why okay? Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Why is the life so expensive? I'm not even having.

A good child. This is just a couple of Mitches.

What about me?

Don't forget can No?

He is Mitch Uli and.

The pole wear fucking breaking everyone Christmas, Mitchell co Where are the bloody carps up in? I? And this sparkling right that got here?

Tala Jenna, Hello, pro scuba Jenna's here. I'm happy Christmas.

Guy, it's our final podcast for the year.

Yep, this is it.

Suck it up.

I didn't even see the proseki.

Yeah. I thought i'd do a little surprise because I have not yet gone Christmas shopping for either of you.

I'm sorry, Yeah, I haven't got I've still got Mitch's housewarming present wrapped in Yeah, Hayden goes. When do we go over this. That's four cooms.

I didn't even know You've got me a house warming present. You should have disguised that as a Christmas present.

Shit, are we not doing Christmas gifts?

No, well, not that we're not doing them. We just can't be answering it on the podcast.

No one is.

It's our business.

I got you something, And we discussed this.

We said after Mitchell's big birthday bash, when I got him twenty seven guests under the Sun, that we'd never do gifts anymore.

We said we wouldn't go overboard anymore, like we wouldn't dedicate a whole episode to someone's birthday. Like today's pretty much just a normal podcast. It's with a little Christmas sprinkled in it.

Well, if you've got a se yacht or something, because that's overboard.

Well no, okay, I've got your gift.

Oh she's going on now, I feel like a real dog.

They're very good gifts.

Actually, oh thanks, Well, your track record has just been giving us joke gifts that end up gathering dust, and one time you literally gave us dud dust.

Yeah, good point. I still have mine my ironically, which my dusk is collecting dust. It's I don't know how it's possible.

Viol dubbo dust.

Yeah, okay, so some brads at Jenna, Yes please.

Thanks guys, I've been up since three in the morning. It's the spot the first on me as well.

Both of you.

He's got a press now while Jenna takes her sweet art time. Don't forget your big show coming up. Talk back things and Jenna's junk to your favorite.

My god, Oh I'm feeling it.

Open your eyes.

Oh thanks, Jenna.

Oh, it's a giant pencil each like literally the pencil the signs of a tennis racket.

Yeah, let me open it.

This is huge, the sharpen, this bar like that.

I had to get a butcher's.

Du Yeah, look up, this pencil is right.

Okay, smell that, Mitch, I open mind. It smells like a I'm going perhaps sit my hsc all over again.

Oh yeah, that's triggering. I apologized, Janna. I didn't get a presnant, but we do have a you know, a surprise of thoughts coming up later and also today, it's going to be a big day, isn't it, Mittal.

Oh it is. This is a long away to day. Technically, you've already heard a taste of it. At the start of the show where you're bringing you the one the Old Lady.

I heard this theme music, it's four Hello World. I'm John Laws.

Ye, John Laws, We're gonna be on the show.

We're going to bring you the interview that we did, I.

Wouldn't call it an interview. It was like crack car crash.

Bloody loved it. That shit Jenna. He was like, he's got the same sense of humor as me. He was making everyone feel awkward on purpose, and I frothed it. I picked it up and ran with it. But Mitch was like, oh, I'm so used to everyone finding me charming and adorable and laughing about jokes. But John was just so stern and earnest, and I loved it.

Who don't know who John Laws is Australian broadcast icon. He has been in the game. He told us Mitch, was it sixty years he's been in the VI eight I think yeah years.

Yeah, we've we've spoken about him many times, but we actually sat down face to face with him and it was it was certainly a pinch myself moment. I'd say, it's felt like this obscure, fictional being that I've just heard about all my life since I was literally a child, and we got to catch up with him and it was intimidable. Actually, you know, intimidating is a good word.

Yeah, I was intimidated. And Jenna will paint the scene when we talk about it later and we play the chat. But the studios was like walking into a museum. It was like a radio station from the seventies.

Mitch, Yeah, it was real weird. They had not renovated since the seventies.

The carpet on the floor ran up the walls, yeah, the walls were carpeted. Yeah, and their studios in a studio. It was just someone's office that they did a studio in the middle of right. Yeah.

But yeah, well we'll get into that later.

John Laws is coming up. Plus, like Mitch said, around a Jens junk to wrap the this is our final show for twenty twenty one. If it is your first time listening, yeah, a shock an episode to start on, but you've got a good back catalog before we go on break, Lenny. We start the show the same way every week too. Is it just me something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We also throw it back to you. Let you do it? Is it just you? Later on in the show, last One for the Year,

Can do Samuel, would you like a wine? I'm so sorry? Oh yeah, yeah, go on, come grab one. Did you get there enough?

I am a thirty centimeter pencil. That's funny. He is a pencil himself. He'd be intimidated, he'd be thrown off looking at me.

I'm not being Yeah.

Did you guys see on the on the tilt?

Cheers say, hang on, I haven't bought it. Sorry, sorry, tilt the glass. I don't want to get it? All lovely? Yeah, guys, beautiful rocks in the air before we kick off.

To a great twenty twenty two, celebrating and looking back on an even better twenty twenty one. Love yours all very Christmas lovely, lovely.

I will I won't lie. I've been sleeping on it this whole fucking time. I should have waited.

Oh that's delicious stuff. All right, shall we jump in to the show?

Yep, I'm ready, let's begin.

Second Last was the year?

Is it?

Just does this sound like the most vile food combination ever? Wait for it bit of context. I was on the phone a month the other day because I'm going home for Christmas, and he goes, brace yourself. Your father is on his version of a health kick. Oh, I said, right, what does that mean? She goes, well, he sacrificed his twisties that he has every night on the couch. I know he loves his twisties and replace it with canned tuna. However, he has not sacrificed his beverage of choice, which is

Yes, you poor woman, red wine and tuna. So what do you what? Have a little mouthful of tune ou now sip at the shirass and.

Yet to witness it. But I just thought i'd see maybe he's onto something. I brought both of these ingredients. No no, no, here's the red wine goon bag.

Oh my god, she got a goon sack. For those who don't know goon is like a cask wine. It's in a silver sack in Australia. You drink it, then you blow it up and use it as a pillow as you pass out.

If you've never heard of goon, then you're way too haughty toty to be listening to this podcast.

Where all goon drink is here. My only I.

Respect myself too much to drink goon. Now the cheapest crap is whine.

Ever, my auntie Manda freezes goon in her in her fridge and has them on rotation because she doesn't like going to the shops and pulls when I goes. This has to fall and it'll sit out on the carner top for maybe two or three nights.

How long does this last? They're like four leaders.

She lives in the country. She needs a stock bar.

How quickly this she go through them?

She pumps through them. God bless her. Now what do we have? Let me I'm allergic to juna. You know that right? I can't eat it? Ah, yeah, I can only have emmen.

Merry Christmas, Jenner, I got you a beautiful food combination.

I'm not I'm not eating chin Harry Christmas, Jenna do it for the sake of Christmas.

I'm allergic.

All Right, here we go. Tuna is open.

Bag.

I'm I don't want the tune. Sam. Do you want to try the tuna and wine? Combat Absolutely not.

Yeah, well we introduced them to KFC. This is another Australian tradition. Go with it, with it, tuna and red wine, goon matte. You're not astralliing till you tried it.

It's never gonna happen.

I can smell what am I supposed to do with these things.

You try it, Mitchell, You're going to have to try it. It's your father. You will enjoy it. You were so much like Ian while he paused, and I don't know where your brain went, but when you when you said, when mich said his mum's being created for Christmas on the farm, I thought it was going to be one of the sheep.

That'll be happening.

You eat the sheep. Oh my, that was normal. You said that so calmly.

No, we we do that all the time. I had a butcher to come out on site to the farm and we pick our favorite fat, fucking juicy lambs and we put them aside, and then the butcher comes and he just like slaughters them before our eyes without even breaking conversation. He's like, yeah, anyway, are you being Coombsie?

Oh? Thank god I decided not to come to the COOMBSI for chrismas, yeah, and then have an apple in my mouth.

It was my job to discard of all the internal organs, giblets, all the kidneys and shit. We'd throw into a trailer and then I'd have to drive it up the paddock to a spot where it's not going to waft that stench of dead organs.

And you dump it. The birds.

Birds would take it, right, they love it.

They'd love it. You Circle of life ladies, Jens and jenn is looking your lips a right, the goon and the tuna is ready. So this is Mitch's dad's current. Is it a diet transmits or is it just a snack? What do we think it is?

I don't know. He's just made is making healthy choice cents, you know, don't.

Stop it, swop it and he's doing it performed, have.

Twisties, fucking tuna.

God.

Anyway, here we go.

This is tuna and red wine. The first time Mitchell Coobs's Oh he dropped it.

A little bit of tuna dripped on my good blouse. All right, here we go, tune up shop. I haven't been tune it for years anyway. Hold on.

Kind of works.

Oh my, I think Ian's under something.

Oh my god, you can take a boy out of the country. You can't take the country out of a boy.

I can't believe you're all gonna leave me hanging.

Yeah, well, I will go into anaphal axis for the show. I'll have some red wine. Then why don't I kiss you and get the tuna flavor.

That You'll still have a reaction, wouldn't you mild just from the kiss. The tuner after taste is the worst bit.

Actually, Oh, I can smell it too.

I'm gonna get rid of that.

Hold on, Jenny. He's leaving the studio. That was sickening rightly, so I can still smell it.

It's so cool.

I think it's in the mesh of the chair. Yeah, Jackie Oh's microphone sticks of cigarettes because that's all she does, and talks into it, so mitches Michae will forever speak and tastes like you know, he's better here he is.

It's chucked it in the kitchen.

Oh problem, that's for the afternoon show. Ready for my agent, let's go last is it just me? Are you hanging out for the family gossip at Christmas this year?

Oh?

God, I don't think there even is any get this.

It's been a huge year last year. You couldn't get together for Christmas.

This is like two.

Years worth of family gold.

Yeah. I mean my family are just that. Don't really give you much gossip. It's just going to be the same conversation I've had on repeat for ten years. How have you been?

Yeah?

Good?

What about you? Yeah, you're still doing your This is what one of my auntie says to me. She has no idea what I do. She goes, you're still doing your your graphics. I'm like, yeah, still doing the.

Graphics like you're sitting on fucking word art. Older.

Yeah, kid picks.

What are your parents know that your family talk to you, Jennifer. Do they know what you do?

Oh?

They say, how's the journalism? And first of all, I don't do And he said.

Well, some ass I'll try to make me eat china and goons. So it's going right, EXTEP is going to good use.

None of them give a shit about my career. They care about the periphery, the people around me. Dad, how's Coombsie? Mate? He's killing it. He's got shows. How do we get tickets to Kumsie show?

Did you tell him?

Yeah? Mom and Dady come in the book tickets.

Oh my god, that's hilarious. I did not know that.

Do you want to tell you?

No?

Oh, Mum and Dad book tickets? Well, mum to myek show. Mum bless her sent me a screenshot on Instagram DMS of your posts about your life shows and she said, I'd love to book tickets. How do I do it? So I walked her through it on FaceTime. Her and dad or maybe her and her and my sister will go. They will definitely be there.

But yeah, fabulous. I reckon that just based off knowing you. I think we just have very different Christmas lunches because your family seemed to love each other. No, my family do. We do, but we're not much of chatters, you know. Yeah, it's not much to talk about really, and so by the time we get to the big family lunch with all the aunts and uncles and cousins, it's usually like checking them watching, like fuck, can we go and it's the best because now that my sister has kids, we

So yeah.

It's actually not that I don't love them dearly, not that I wouldn't go to war for them, but I'm just like, it's just a bit awkward.

Yeah, but I think your family showed their love through actions where minus the words. My family would not never bail me out of prison if they needed to, but they'd answer the phone call and they'd pass it on and they'd add Uncle Adrian in and they'd oh, we've got to tell Karen. They just love the gossip.

What's the goss? What are your reckons gonna happen? In the Jerry?

We've had two divorces and a death. What there's a lot happening in the last.

Only so much gossip you can do about a death.

Oh no, it would just be the drama. It wasn't there out the outcry, the sad and what happened in the last final days and the funerals sow. We could not go COVID all.

So when you say gossip, you've been grieving. Can't wait?

Sorry, I got there confused.

Yeah, you're listening to is it just me?

Love the podcast?

But what more?

In between episodes?

You can follow the show online as a couple of mitches.

All right, get in touch at a couple of mitches on Instagram. We will be checking over the break, Mitch.

I believe we'll be checking the Yeah, you've got to bank them up.

Yeah, that's right.

Ya?

Is it just used? These are? Is it just means of your own? So you just heard Mitch and I do one. If you've got one, send it in the form of a voice message to a couple of mitches and we might play it on the air before we do those. Sorry, Sam, we didn't even ask you. What are you doing for Christmas?

What's your pony? Goths at the Christmas table?

This is the problem, right is I've got all this extended family you haven't seen for twenty years and they just said, yeah, all all do we ever talk about?

Is this other family that I don't know?

Everyone are back in the UKR Have you heard from her recently?

I don't care.

I raise your hand if you have an untie donner no no two for two for four.

That's really Jenna that surprises me. Donna from Dubbo. What a fucking an opportunity.

I know.

No Donna from Dubbo would have a Habitashery store on the main street of Dubbo Crabatashie donas. It's like bed sheets and trinkets.

Isn't it's trinkets trinkets.

Yeah, skincare trays And did.

You get this off pencil from the Habitdashie section? Is that a trinket or not.

It? Don't you say.

No?

You can't die?

No?

Don't you look like you're going to burst a vein in your forest.

I could hear the fibers in my wrists.

Yeah no, don't try that again, and I can press the screen to you.

Hear Henry. I don't give a If.

The name correct, we need we need to give them a really special, enthusiastic shout out to make up for the fact that you've been sucking up everyone's names every week.

Habitas name, What is it? Harry?

Is it actually Harry?

Harry?

What did you say?

It's Harry Lodge at the Harry Lodge. If you want hello Harry me who is quite cutege all right? Harry Lodge has this the final Is it just you for the year?

Is it just me?

Or is there nothing more distressing and more worrying than when somebody doesn't reply to your text messages or snapchats or anything within like five ten minutes? Like I'm not talking about Joe blow from like next door neighbor, I mean like your best buds. Like I know, if my best mate doesn't reply to me within like ten fifteen minutes, I begin to panic, Like do I need to call emergency services? Do I need to get the sees to do like a missing person search? Do we need a search party out there?

I mean that definitely is things more traumatizing.

Do you have any fines I would have gotten for like incorrect use of emergency services? If I called triple there every time you'd ghosted me? Oh fucking hell, couldn't pay your bills because you ignore me all the time. But I know, I know what it's like because I do the same you do.

We don't do it intentionally. We're busy people.

Yeah, it's like if there's a window of opportunity where we're both not busy, yes we will text every fifteen seconds, but then we can go fucking days without saying it.

We got Gangbusters and then just never get like a married couple of sex, like go go go why at a time? Then we start, you go to your thing? Yeah, yeah, literally, there you go, Harry, But no, I don't freak out. I think that's a not This isn't negative. But I think that's a young person thing.

It is, isn't it.

I used to think, what the fuck are they doing? But people have groceries to buy and children to look after, and exercise to do and work to do, and their stress. Like I do not think the TikTok I sent them as is as important as making sure their grandma gets a wonder white.

Yeah, I think it is. I used to be like that when I was young. I'd be like, they were on nine to fifteen minutes ago when I sent my message thirty minutes to go. How dare they now? I'm like, Okay, maybe they were online fifteen minutes ago because they're sister's having a crisis and she called you. Literally, I'm not a priority right now.

Or they just want to sit and stare at a wall. Are we to judge? I discovered a feature on Instagram the other day sound like I'm a pioneer like Captain Cook. I just got an a feature and.

You can wave your overdyed pencil at me.

Back end, I have fedual you can. You can disable the green button on your Instagram so you know when you.

Message you're online.

Yeah. So now if someone sends me a message and I can see it, because you know, you can also unsee your message. So someone will send me a message, I'll view it and then quickly unview it.

And before they get the rag on saying you left me on red.

Yeah, not hitting, Yeah, and exactly. And plus they can't see the green line, so they just don't know. So you can turn that off in settings.

Good tip, Well you really just learned to cover your tracks. That's a flaky.

Also, learn that if you kill a body, use lime in the ditch. Yeah, yeah you did, Jenner.

And if you're going to split someone's throat, don't wear white.

Man and bit the body, don't burn it. Move the teeth, yes, remove the teeth, because then you can't be tracked exactly right, guess Harry, have a great Christmas with the fan.

Yeah, keep the dms coming. We'll have plenty for next year, won't we of course.

And Jenna, are you planning on because Mitch and I are fully removed from the Jenner side show.

Well what where both of us? I said, I'm fully removed. I was hoping there'd be someone with common sense.

Now I'm partially producing, I'm simply setting up the studio and I'm fucking off.

Oh yeah, it's not a disaster.

Time will tell. All right, are we ready for one of our favorite segments? We thought we have to. We simply have to end the show with a final Talkback Tings for the year. This is a.

Very special edition of Talkback Tings. Usually we bring you the bits of gold that we hear on talkback radio just for your enjoyment. But now we've sat down with one of the people who we've spoken about many times behind their bag. Yeah, mister John Laws, the king of talkback in Australia. You would know him from our podcast Open. It's this guy.

Bring Pikes Nurseries, Nursery, Pikes, p y k E.

S Hey, why.

He is in kill?

Hey?

Why?

Okay?

God, he's good, isn't he. That's classic John Laws?

And so we got to sit down with him. And how that came about was, remember we tried to prank call him as during one of our talk back teams Higment.

We got Dot, my alter ego, to do it.

Yes, you tried to get through as an old lady in disguise, and this is what happened.

Morning show.

Your name good morning Dot?

Excuse spil that.

Out for me? D O T Dot? And how old are you? I'm eighty three, Mitch? What do you mean by Mitch?

Mitch? I think no, I don't know.

Put me through to John.

Please.

I can't put you through to John. He doesn't like you.

Hey, darling, if we can't get through as Dot, can you tea up in an interview with John Laws and our podcast? We'd love to have him.

I can give it a red hot shot.

Thanks, Darlin.

All right, do see you guys. You don't ask, you.

Don't get That's exactly right, and any normal person would just let that slide. But because I am Mitchell Komb's the pesky bitch, I helped the producer to that. And originally all I wanted was a surprise phone call for you on your birthday. But apparently what I'm told is John listened to our podcast. I suspect someone would have

Oh.

I just want to preface this by saying I hate awkwardness, and I normally have full control in an interview because I do interviews for it, like at my job, So just go in there. I know what I'm doing. But being on the other side having John Law sitting there staring at you with very, very measured breas and eye blinks like he's in full manual mode, it was really intimidating.

It was Meanwhile, I love awkwardness, however I hate shit audio quality, which is why I was so caught off guard when we visited the King of Talk Back and they said to us, we've only got one guest mark. You'll just have to share it.

You have to lean into the mind oh yeah, yeah.

So that's why we sound all echoey and shit. I feel that might actually be a tactic from John. He just wants everyone to sound a little bit more inferior to him.

Mitch and I were sharing. It was fun, but it was still.

An absolute honor. We made that mistake.

We end up going through his back catalogs of music.

Yeah, he pulled out his CD. He has bloody music. Did you guys know that?

Did he legitimately have a stack of CD? Yeah?

With all his music?

Apparently he has many albums, like more than ten.

We almost I think we said at some point, oh, can we grab one to play in the podcast, and they were not, you can't take these. These are the only coffee.

So yeah, you'll hear it in the interview. He had to get his assistant, who was called the mother Superior. She had to bloody burn the CD and senate to me later, and he didn't play it to us.

I will say that Jenna and Sam, much to my stress, Mitch did ask the question that we ask every guest you know, eighty how old is John.

Laws eighty six?

Mitchell asked an eighty six year old to add to our list of things better than drugs, and Dick I did no.

Why would I break the rules for him? I ask every guest. I also offered him a vape like I wasn't there, John and I would vibe.

Me, Mitch. Mitch tried to kill John Laws. You aren't like g eyes Jay, Yeah.

Like you know how I felt like a fly in the wall during that tivert As interview because he couldn't stand me opposite John and I were vibing. Mitch thought that he hated him.

Mitch vibes with wide misogynistic men, and I vibe with young gardsly men.

We also spoke about that Awardi one recently.

You know what was it again, the Kennedy Ward lifetime achievement.

Yeah, it was quite sad. He gave his speech about how he lost his wife Caroline on stage and.

A good friend of good met your friend that was in the industry for years. Look, it was a really long chat. It was an enjoyable chat.

Towards the end, like maybe the last three minutes. It is when he was trying to make it awkward on purpose, and I loved it because I love that shit. But you were just like panicking, Oh hat I didn't know what was going on.

You know, sometimes I thought I'd really offended him, but Mitch assured me that that's his sarcasm, any sense of humor, which for anyone else, and he sprightly thirty year old, there'd be a beat and they'd go, no, just pull on your leg. But there were many beats.

You clearly aren't as much of a diehard Laws and eight or as I am.

Laws.

Yeah no, I'm not T shirt.

I'm more of a Johnson. That's Alan Jans team right.

Anyway, without further ado, here it is. I'll sit down with John Laws.

Hollo world. I'm John Laws, John Laws.

Yeah, mate, how are you welcome to the show?

A bigger pardon, welcome to the show.

It's great to have you here.

It's my show, is it our show?

Is you're on our show? We're on yours?

I mean you're.

Welcome to No, No, that's one of the rules. This always remains the John Lord Show. Okay, you're a visitor and you're very welcome, thank you, But it's the John Lord Show. If you could keep that in mind, I'd be extremely grateful.

Got it on it.

Well, we're actually here in the fortress, so this is your territory. What was your useless piece of information for today? Every show?

How could I remember three hours ago? Oh?

Really?

You just spunch it up, get rid of it.

Well, you've got to listen if you want to hear the useless information. Now, what are you charming people doing here in my studio?

Well, we're big fans, John, We've been We've been in the industry for six years, five years, so a little dot compared to yours. Yeah, we're die hard fans. We work inside Kiss so alongside Kyle Sandalans, who you know really takes a lot of his inspiration from you.

Oh he does, doesn't he He's taken everything from me everything, the mic, a gold microphone, the head and the rolls, Royce Carr, the lot, the lot. He hasn't got a single genuine original thought and he's rather lovely.

Yet are you a fan of Kyle?

I like him. I like Kyle. Don't underestimate Kyle.

He's pretty bright, He's good at what he does.

They've been chatting a lot on Kyle and Jackie I Show recently about the fact that a lot of people suspect that Kyle could be secretly gay.

What do he means secretly.

They were telling him that you do come across that way. At a glance, some people might suspect that you're gay. What do you think of that?

I don't think so, And it wouldn't matter if he was, wouldn't. I like Kyle. I get on very well with Kyle. He and I are friends. Yeah, you know, you've got to be careful. That probably was a sweeping statement, But yes, we're kind of friends. Am I having lunch with Kyle or something? Soon? We're better organize that. I like having lunch with it. I find him music, and I find him also a very genuine bloke. I think if you were in trouble, you could turned to Kyle and he'd

I think so too.

Yeah. Have you had a long lunch with Kyle recently?

I have prayed a few.

How long are the long lunches by the way?

Nine or ten hours? God, jeez, that's a lie, probably thirteen.

Do you drink of these long lunches? You drinking these days?

Am I what drinking? Like?

You have a wine drinking?

Jesus is the pope praying? Of course?

Do you know, one thing that Kyle claims as he's big claim to fame is that his first radio gig was paneling your show in Townville or something. That's also my claim. Two PK in Parks when I was doing work experience, I had to make sure the ads for John Laws were playing in time, all of that. So that was my.

First two PK with Betty Muzzy Chuk who don't you remember Betty? The Spicer family owned two PK oh Okay, and the daughter or step daughter or daughter in law or somebody. Her name was Betty Buzzy Chook and she ran the station when I was only there one night.

I hate you worked at two BIQU Yeah, I did one night for one night. What happened?

They wouldn't let me smoke.

In the studio?

Yeah?

How long ago was that?

Nineteen fifty four? Probably?

Okay? Do you still smoke or if you quit?

Oh? No, I quit ages?

Oh okay? Would you like to try a vape?

That's bloody stupid?

She just hooked on the vapes?

No, I'm quitting.

Is it difficult to quit? Why would you take up something that is difficult to quit? Well, I think for people, I'll tell you why, Yeah, because you're young and stupid.

No, I can't argue with that. Actually that's completely fair. But yeah, I always tell people don't start them because they're way easier to get hooked on than cigarettes. There's nough this tastes gross to overcome. They're just pleasant from the get go, So don't go there. It's always my advice.

Yeah, well, you're giving very good advice.

Yeah, do as I say, not as I do.

You're maturing at an early age. You're giving very good advice. Don't do it if it's going to be addictive and expensive. Good advice that includes marriage, unless you're very careful.

John.

I I was listening to your speech on the way here and I saw it live at the Kennedy Awards the other night Lifetime Achievement Award, which congratulations, by the way, that's very exciting, Thank you. I just loved my life.

I haven't had the best year this year, so I've been particularly I lost my friend Ryan, but I also lost my.

Adorable Carol, who since I was fifteen years old.

She's gone out of my life. That makes me say it in case like this kind of big indifference. Thank you all, very very.

Much for.

You said that you didn't intend to get into broadcasting, So I guess I want to know how did you fall into it?

Well, I was a jackaroo in Ellington in central New South Wales and I love being a jacker. I would love to be a jacker who again, but I can't afford it. But I used to. I used to go to the Legacy Ball and the Bachelor's Ball and the Spinster's Ball, and they used to get me to do a commentary, you know, to introduce people as they came

It, fell in love with it clearly. Yeah, how long have you been doing it?

Now?

Because I thought I could google sixty eight years eight far out.

I think it's sixty eight.

Sixty eight?

Yeah? Are you taking notes there? I chose you. It just shows you how involved that's the Mother Siberia. I'm doing a very important interview with two very important young men, and she's doing a bloody cross work.

Jesus, it's so nice to put a face to the name the Mother Supiri I here referred to all the time on the show.

Well, are you impressed?

I am, absolutely, She's pretty much what I envisioned. Actually, yeah, is she really?

Yeah?

Well, she gave us a talking to before we came in. She said you're up to no good. You're going to be good and we said, yeah, we'll be right, We're on our best behavior.

Yeah, well that's the way to be. Yeah, that's right, all right. So what else do you want to talk about?

Well, I should have given you heads up before we started that on the podcast. I don't know if you're much of a swearer, but you're allowed to swear here? Do you swear much?

Don't be fucking stupid? But that word has become almost acceptable now around here. She hates it.

The Mother Superior hates it.

Doesn't like me swearing at all.

Would the Mother Superior appreciate being described as a boss bitch, because that's what I would think, the Mother Superior is a what a boss bitch?

What's that mean?

It's a wonderful term. Don't worry, powerful woman.

Yeah, but it's the word bitch. There.

It's a term of endearment. It's all about context, back and empowering.

Don't don't use that word.

My apologies, I take it back, Mother Superior.

Yeah, take advance.

Now sixty eight years you said, what's your advice for someone like Mitch to last that long in radio?

It's been seven so far.

My advice to Mitch give it away? Really yeah, get out, get a job as a salesman at Bunnings.

Yeah.

No, no, I'll give you very good advice. Enjoy it. If you enjoy it, do it. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. And be natural. Don't bullshit, no change of voice, no change of attitude.

Just got to be you authentic.

Yeah that's well, I don't know how authentic you are, but yeah, just be yourself.

In other words, Now, what happened in the middle because you left for a bit, you had a big retirement, you were out and then you came back. Yeah, you missed it too much.

I did miss it. I missed it greatly, and I got very bored with my own company, even though up until that time, I'd been pretty good with my own company. I love reading, I love sitting by myself, I love thinking. But I did get bored. I did get bored, and I thought, you know, it would be fun to go and do it again. And it's more fun the second time around than it was the first time.

Really, Yeah, fell back in love with it.

Yeah, oh no better now. Yeah.

We like to play on our podcast some bits of Gold that happened on talkback radio because we figured that our younger listeners might not be listening as often as we are, so we're like, if anything good happens, we'll tell you. And you've come up many times, including the infamous Pike's Nursery incident. That call I really want to hear from your point of view. What were you thinking? What were you feeling when that call? I just could not understand what you were saying.

Well, I thought this is going to go on forever, But then I thought this could be very good radio, so I decided to stay with it. And she started to understand the humor of it. As we got towards the end of.

The conversation, you reckon that she was in on it too.

No, no, not in on it, but I think she started to understand the humor of it. She wasn't going along with it deliberately. She was laughing at herself. It was a good call. It was a fun call.

Yeah, definitely. And it lives on in our podcast as well.

So at the start of every show, we play the audio. That's how we start our show every week.

You didn't even ask it's on YouTube? Did you know that?

I don't go to that. I think I can't work computers.

Oh, well, you're paddling your show right now, aren't you. You've got some sort of understanding.

That's just a board that's got stuff on it, like Tom t Hall, bit of music. Here. There you are. That's how simple it is.

Well, who says you can't work at a computer?

There you go.

Yeah.

I don't suppose you're ever going to get to that stage where, like a lot of other radio studio is like a kiss. You'll have cameras in the room filming it. They never You don't want stuff on Facebook.

Or of course I don't. Of course I don't. I do a radio program and I'm a radio broadcaster, and that is the limit of my talent.

Yeah, who else do you listen to? John? Do you have any other shows that you listen to? Or do you just?

Do you know what I listened to as soon as I leave here? Yeah, midday or whenever I leave in ABC Classic. Really I love classical music, and they pay a lot of light classical music. They play a lot of ballet music, and I love ballet music. I love the ballet. So there you are. That's surprised.

You have you ever podcast? Have you ever? You know how to listen to podcasts? You into them?

No, I don't know how to do that.

You make a killing? Do you think a podcast by John Laws would be huge?

Does he know that his show with podcasts and every day you actually can listen to it as a podcast?

Podcast? You've got one?

Yeah, I don't know what.

It is even You know how Netflix is TV shows on demand, podcast a radio shows on demand. That's pretty much the basic way of explaining it. And that's what we are.

Like.

You can't tune in at a certain time to us, We're just there whenever you're like, not live.

No, well it can't be live.

Nah.

Are you bored now?

No, not at all.

On the slightest, I don't want to bore you.

No, we're not bored, No, not at all.

I'm hoving this.

You know another old job that John used to have, Mitch am I right in saying it used to be what we call a rouse about in a shearing shed.

That's exactly what I was.

What's a rouse about in a shearing shed?

You pick up the dregs and the shed off the tails of the lambs on the DAGs. Yeah, and you also, if you're lucky, you get to use the wool press a bit, and pressing the wool Let's tough work, but it's great fun.

How long did you do that job?

For?

Eighteen months?

I wouldn't last a day. I was a farm boy, raised on a farm. Mom and dad used to always try and get me to help out with that stuff. But I was like, not for me. I was a bit too precious for that. Would that surprising?

I can tell you're a bit precious. I've detected that.

But I was smart enough to realize if I do that job really badly, they'll stop asking for help, so I just kept stuffing up. It was fantastic.

Yeah, but if you did it well, they'd keep asking you to do it, and they would have. But it would have been very good for you. All that wool press stuff was good. All that woolshared stuff was good. And the blokes, the shearers and the mates you'd make and the shearers cook sa they could cook. They used to cook great stuff, shepherd spie, cottage pie. Yeah.

But they would bring food to serve. Because I ended up when I was no good at the rouse about judies, I ended up serving morning tea like I was the one giving the food. So they would bring food.

No, No, they'd cook it there. But yes, they'd bring the food with them. Oh they were good too. The shed of shearing cooks. Yeah great.

Yeah, you had a way better sharing shed experience than me. It was hell on earth for me.

Could you tell me she's a country boy? Way looking at him? Born and raised it. Where is it Parks?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, well it depends which part of the country.

Have you heard of bogan Gate? It's just near Park That's where I'm from. You where bogan Gate.

I've heard of? I've been to bogan Gate haven't.

I Have you been to bogan Gate? Is there a station in bogen Gate? Meet your radio station?

Well, passes are like.

No, no, no no. But I when I went around Australia, I wasn't doing radio. I was just going around Australia.

Yeah, blink and you'll miss it.

That's It's a very good idea, you know. People. I remember my sister as soon as she turned fifteen or something, all she talked about was going to England. She just wanted Everybody wanted to go to England. Nobody by the day of a look at Australia, greatest country in the world.

I've always thought that, Like everyone's excited now that you know international flights are a thing again after lockdown. But I would rather just travel Australia like all the ruined stuff like that.

It's a good thing to do. It's a great country. Do you have a.

Favorite city or you're a Sydney boy? You've always been a Sydney boy.

I'd like if you settle into a place long enough, it becomes your favorite.

Did you ever live overseas?

Never lived overseas?

I believe you were working in the US though, weren't you when JFK was assassinated. You reported on that, Am.

I right, Yes, that is quite right. I bear in mind, this is a long, long time ago.

Is a sad day in the history of the United States. The President of the United States of the Worker, John Fitzgerald Kennedy has been assassinated, killed by a rifle bullet. I'm in Hollywood, in California, and in a matter of ours I've seen probably one of the most colorful cities in the world become a city in math, mourning. And this is just one city of an entire nation in burning, grown men and women crying openly, almost proudly, in the

Yeah, I remember the day like it was yesterday. That was I've got to say, that was a good report. I did go. I went there to open the coaxial cable that came from the United States to Canada, actually to Australia. The Queen opened it and I was the support act after the queen. But yeah, how about that act following.

Have you ever in your career had a co host or has it always been the John Laws Show?

The John Laws Show?

Co host? Not for you. You wouldn't think that would work.

Listen. If you're getting any ideas, forget it.

No, God, no, he's got his resume in the bank.

It's always been just me. Oh, for a while I did half an hour was I can't even remember her name now, wonderful woman broadcaster. Jeez, I can't remember a name, John Per she used to work with her and anyway, I can't think of it, and it doesn't matter because she thoroughly did. But for a while I did that and I loved it.

Have they ever paired you up with anyone, because in radio, especially commercial radio, they love to throw a co host just experiment.

Yeah.

Have they had a co host thrown at you or have they ever tried to squeeze someone in and say, John, we think you'd be good with this person.

Yeah, they probably have, but I would have told.

Him, yeah, get out, we get all the reality stars in commercial radio. They'll say to me, oh, this person one Love Island Australia, they won Big Brother, get them on the show. Yeah, what for what, I say, they don't last.

Do you watch any of those free to wear shows? They say it's married at First Sight, Love Ireland, those sorts of shows.

You're kidding?

Yeah, neither not for me, It's not for us. What about music? Are there any new artists that are out and at the moment that you actually enjoy?

I just love all music fair enough. As I said, I listened to as soon as I've finished here, I turned the radio on in the car to ABC Clier. I love classical music. I love Bruce Springsteen at the moment, I'm playing a lot of a lot of his stuff. I love my friend Roger Miller. I love Christopherson. I love music. I love music, Tom t Hall, all those storytellers are great.

Have you ever been a singer yourself?

I've released seventeen albums. Really, yeah, where have you been?

I don't suppose that you would be able to answer this question? But I do wonder if they're on Spotify, like I'd love to be able to stream them. These old albums I'm what where would someone have to go to listen to these albums?

I don't know.

Here there we go, Oh we've been handled them.

Look at this couple of CDs.

Pick the early Man who roll those? When you have long?

Have you really got it?

Me? All?

And good?

An?

Please? Look?

Did you hear with a denim jacket on? This is the Mind and the Music?

Yeah? It was called The Mind and the Music was because it was an album of poetry and I wrote all the music and I wrote all the words, so it was called The Mind and the Music.

Look at this, all the women in the shorts. You've never been trucked like this before. I like that.

I knew you'd like that. And I loved singing. I love singing. We had a lot of releases and did pretty well. Now put them down to the Can.

We keep these and these for us?

All these?

That's all right?

Well you have to get them on Spotify, because there's a whole generation that have missed out on the musical talents of John Laws. I get it on what Spotify streaming, Spotify, an iPhone? Get it on your phone.

I don't want it. I got it there.

Yes, you know he doesn't care about everyone else listening. He can listen to himself. It's all good. Did they get many radio spins? Did you ever play your own music on the radio?

Yeah, because nobody else had played.

Yeah, why the hell not? I reckon there, you go write that down. It's start putting out singles, and it's play them yourselves. We actually got mitched, you know how. I said that we play things we hear on talkback, and then we kind of take inspiration from them. We got Mitch to improvise a poem because we heard one of your poems. Go to air it with about country people. Actually in small towns.

A little town is where everybody knows what everybody else is doing, but they read the weekly newspaper just to see who got caught doing it. Oh that's a good story there.

Yeah. And so I heard that and I played it on our podcast and said, Mitch, I think you should start doing poetry like this, and he improvised the whole thing about Britney spears, the whole free Britney thing.

I I'd sing to music ideas, so it'd be like we knew you from a girl ie titan Q, but now look at you like an old Haggard boot free Brittany, let her out of that cage.

Oh poor Britney. It makes me filled with rage.

Are you across the Britney Spears drama?

I don't care? What a drama? Yeah? Why don't they just leave her alone?

I agree?

Well they are now, so that's good.

She's free. Britney's free now, which is all they want it.

I'm sure John really appreciates that update.

What am I doing talking about?

Well, this was a pleasure. I've really enjoyed this match. Anything you want to get off her chest with John?

Well, I'm wondering if we should ask him the question we ask every guest.

I think you can do that.

Okay, So we like every guest that we have on the podcast, we like to ask them a small thing in life that they appreciate. Like Angela Bishop said her water bed, Jessica Malboy said sitting in the sun, being barefoot in a garden. That was one of her small life pleasures. The reason I'm reluctant to ask it is because we call it our list of Things Better than Drugs and Dick, which is basically a psa to young people that there's more to life than boys and partying.

No, there's not.

No one's ever said that.

I'll put that on the list.

Is that it? Yeah?

Yeah, we're good.

Yeah, I'm happy to sit here a bit longer if you wanted to talk about anything else.

Now we're done. I'm good. Thank you for being here. It was a pleasure.

Are you bored now? No, we can stay here all day, like he'll, thank you very much for coming to visit me. It was very nice for you to do that.

Thank you for having this.

There was a pleasure. You're a legend. It was great to be in your presence and in the studio.

Yeah, it's a good studio.

It's a big studio studio.

Have you seen the Kiss FM broom closet studio? Like this is the next level?

If has Kyle been in here, because if he were to see this, renovations would start at Kiss tomorrow. Kyle studio is a quarter the size of this.

Well, so it should be Yeah, call to the talent. Yeah, is that it? You finished? Now you're bored now?

No, I'm not ordinal And you've got a long lunch to get to.

Haven't you have? I with a lot of people. What have you got on your own?

Oh? It says art pop. You are you familiar with art pop? No, it's a Lady Gaga album.

No, I like Lady Gaga, do you yeah? Do you know why I like Lady Gaga?

Well, I would suspect that you'd be a fan of some of the classical stuff she puts out. She's got jazz albums as well as the pop stuff.

But also I like her because one of my favorite people in the world likes Tony Bennett, and Tony Bennett likes Lady Gaga, and Tony Bennett is a gentleman beyond belief and sings like nobody else.

And that new album they put out recently is up for like a gazillion Grammys. So oh yeah, when they team up, magic happens.

Yeah. Do you know something, We're starting to get boring. People listening aren't going to give a stuff about Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga. I'm going now all right?

Then, it was a pleasure to have you on. Great to meet you.

You didn't have me on I had you.

You're that again, Yeah, a pleasure to be here.

Well, it's been a pleasure to have you here. And anytime you feel like dropping by again, you're quite welcome. The door will always be open. Oh, thank you, John, that's a pleasure. You're you're all right, he looks.

Thanks.

That's a glowing review. I've ever heard one.

Thank you John.

Thanks John. God.

I got to say I'm going to go to my grave saying that one of the best things that's ever happened to me was being called young and stupid by John Laws. Yep, and he said, yes, you're a bit precious. I detected that that was a while, but what a treat.

I think he's the only guest I've ever had in the history of ever to end his own interview. We're done now, Yeah, he ended it himself.

But then when we're like, you know, let's go, he goes, what's that on your arm? I feel that he was enjoying.

I tend to agree.

I also love how he kept saying you bored.

You bought. Yeah, he'sfinite, Like I said.

That's him stirring exactly, and that mother Superior, his personal assistant, came up to us afterwards and said, that went really well. John doesn't usually respond that well, yeah you thought that was bad. Imagine how many shock and interviews he's done before this.

If that was good I which we won't name who was there before us, but we were told from the team that they had an interview with a very well known publication before.

Advocate Jenny said he couldn't stand them.

Well they're satirical.

We're not satirical at all.

No, Joe, No, not our show.

It's a serious on my good Christian show.

Well there you go. You're fucking idiots. What a Christmas gift that was.

I feel that Mitchell's rose is kicked in.

It has and I woke up at three a m. Today and it's almost three pm. It's twelve hours on the clock. My brain has cooked. Well, we still have more to Dot's.

Let's reflect on that though. John Laws says that there's nothing better than drugs and dick, So.

That is to me a win. If we can take anything from his podcast, we get on the podcast now never return, and that could be our what's the word I'm thinking of, legacy? Legacy.

I also love that he told you to stop being a fake bitch. That was his advice. He goes, you're no bullshit, be authentic.

And be a salesman at Bunnings.

Yeah, maybe be a salesman Bunnings.

Anyway, thank you, John Laws. We may or may not abuse that invitation. The door's always open, he says, He'll take that right back. I'm gonna start every day being.

Like, hello, hi John, you said the door is always open. We noticed it wasn't, so just opening it all right, final side this year, are you ready for Jenna's junk?

Yeah, yes, let's do it.

Let's take a peek at Jenna's junk, shall we.

So whenever we have a terrible idea to bring up on this podcast, we put it in Jenna's junk, and we thought it's our last episode of the year. So much like we put terrible ideas in the junk, let's put our terrible staff in the junk.

That's right.

So yeah, Jenna, this is the big surprise for you.

Yeah.

You know how last year we put you in a coffin.

Gonna go get it?

Yeah the coffin again is no, no, no, not a coffin.

We just thought that, because you're not impartial to being put in shit, that we would make Jenna's junk extra literal. So it's no longer a little been on the desk. Look at this, We've got you your own fucking bin. To get in.

Oh, for goodness sake, what.

Mitch, did you get all the well the maggots out from the bottom. Yeah, yeah, we found that in the cage downstairs.

But she just not there?

Is it?

Groundskeeople? Who holdes it out? It's fine?

Said, there was a paper bin that was really clean, but too small.

Right, Okay, in again?

Okay, do I get in it?

Yeah?

Okay, here we go ahead, opening the lid. It's your mic. Do a testing for me?

Testing?

Yeah, all that zoomber paid off. You're quite flexible.

Jenna's in the bin. There we go, now, Sam, shut the lid. Please, this isn't a fucking vacation.

Oh my god, she fits in there.

We go.

Can you hear me?

We can hear We can hear you.

Jenna, I'm in the bin.

She just got the microphone down the bottom. Jenna pulled the microphone away from the bottom of the bin. Open your mouth. The bin has better acoustics than John Lord's studio. That's actually now, I got some rubbish music. When you see your rubbish, make sure that you're from rubbish bin bed that's Jenn's rubbish.

Should we get into this, Jenna, if you're going to fish through all of our shit ideas that we thought were too terrible to bring up on the show, and yet here we are.

Yep, they're all in here.

Yep.

Is it just me?

Or do you also lie and say you've been watching a show for years even though you've just started.

Oh, claim it?

Yeah? No, because I actually do this thing where I don't lie.

No, it's not lying, it's blending in with society. Someone will go, oh my god, do you watch Succession? And I'm fully caught up and I've seen it, but I don't want to just say that I've watched it all in three nights, So I go, yes, Oh I love it. God, I've been watching that show. Remember when it first came out. I was blown away.

It's just easier, all right, Well, you don't have to say, you don't have to specify the amount of time it took you to watch, you to say, yeah, I'm up to season three, episode whatever.

Yeah, but it just mate. It's just depressing thing that someone watched three seasons in two nights, Like that's tragic.

What didn't really take me that short amount of time?

Yeah, it took me a couple maybe five nights all up? Yeah, I binged it.

Ten episodes, that's very standard, binging, that's normal. But to get through ten episodes in a week.

But I like to feel like because they clearly watched it all when it came out, I want to be known as a person that also did that, Like I've got my shit together.

But who even asks? Who even asks? When did you start?

I breathe through your nose? Please? People? People don't ask, but I always just put it out there, or if they do ask, I always lie.

I'm going to go out on a whim and say that it is possible that you think too much about what other people think of you, because I'll tell them like it's a badge of honor. If I've watched ten episodes in a day, I'll be like, fuck, yeah, I just spent the whole day I committed.

Now.

I don't think people are gonna think less of you. They just I don't think anyone cares that much about the fellow Many people only care about themselves.

But it makes me feel good, It makes them think me think that they think I'm normal.

I've got a whole fucking podcast littered with evidence to the contrary.

Normal. You know, Well, that's why it's just in the bin. That's why it's in the junk, because that.

Was sh getting another one. I found another one late.

Okay, yep, bin juices are leaking. That's my tuna.

Is it just me? Or do you not like other people buying socks and undies for you?

That's mine? I put that in the junk.

It's very personal.

Well, it's just the thing that my mother does every year, and I have a yet to break it to her that I don't want her to buy me socks and nunties for Christmas and Birthday Christmas. Like where I'm about to go home for Christmas, and you bet your ass she'll be buying me bonds with some obscure pattern that you can see through my very thin material.

Short. Yeah, asos don't like a thin material. They like a real papery thin one.

Yeah, but I sometimes buy stuff on purpose that's super thin, and I don't want them be able to see the strikes and the graffitied walls that are on my little bonds, jocks that my mum got me, and especially socks like I love buying socks. Yeah, I go under bloody underworks and I'm gonna do a big order really, yep, I love it.

See there's nothing worse than seeing an adult in what looks to be children's undies, like with the weird patterns on them, it just doesn't fit. We're black or go bear back.

Why do you think I haven't been game enough to fuck anyone all year? I don't want them to see my undy.

Yeah you got from Country Target. Yeah, all right, that's good.

Now it's called khump now okay, yep?

Is it just me?

Or do you enjoy the newspaper catalogs more than the actual paper?

That's me again, the newspaper catalogs, Yeah, because you know how I accidentally subscribe to the bloody newspaper deliveries every weekend intently, Yes, and every time I've called them to cancel, because you can't do it online. You can only do it buy a phone call. Sam's been through this. They don't let you off easy, do they.

No, it's true, it's a whole it's a whole thing.

Yeah.

If you ever try calling to cancel your bloody paper subscription, they guilt trip the shit out of you. They're like, does credible news not matter to you?

Sir?

Is that what they said?

It's real it's real.

And I never read the papers, but sometimes I like to know what's happening at the good guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love a JB High Fi catalog. Yeah, just for the colors, Yeah exactly, and also you know, yeah, shut up girl, I've heard that. Apparently JB High Fight.

They try and make their marketing look cheap as a tactic to like win people over, like, oh, we're so discounted. We're not a high end Maya or bloody David Jones trying to look high end. We're so cheap and relatable. Look at our shitty yellow marketing. That's what we've done. Yeah, we're like, this podcast is scabby ads. But then they get here and go, oh wow, they're cy.

Professed profession to look at their microphones and one of the co hosts in a green skip bin. Oh, Jenna's opening it for air. Are you doing, Jenny and you're fat to Oh shit, she's a hyperventilating Do you need assistance? She's out of the bin. Are you okay? Oh Jenny, you've got spaghetti bulg knaze on your crutch.

I thought there was an air well.

You've got a piece of junk in your hand. I can say to.

Actually, like I was saying, scabby yellow marketing, total fucking professionals.

She's got it.

I haven't got one.

Is it just me? Or as an adult? Do you finally appreciate the cool function on blow dryers?

What the cool function?

I couldn't understand it through Jenne's function.

Oh yeah, I never go back.

Okay, you can set your legs a bit longer, Darling.

Let the record note that I don't want you going off to bitch to hr about it. You can stand up, Jenna. If you want the.

Cool function on the hair dryer. Yes, because when I get out of the shower I've got a sweaty forehead at least an hour, so I can't be blowing fucking scorching air into my gorgeous lot.

But you know what it's good for helping each other into a bin.

Sam so romantic. Here, Darling, hold my hand by like escorch you back.

Into the trash, into my skip. I blowed my hair with heat right to get the quiff and the curl, and then I use the cool function and it cools it right down back to normal and your back at level. It is such a genius function. Also pits, grin back. It cools your right down out of that shower. The cool function is incredible. What about a towel, Yeah, you're not damp, you're fully dried.

Well, then what are you doing it for? I've got hot spots it body temperature?

Yeah, purely for core body temperature. Oh, I've never tried that. Get in your bits.

Oh, Jenne's junk my art. This is Jenner's facts. I've learned something today.

If you want to shave your pubs, here's a Oh my god, I'm just gonna be honest, Jenny, you're sitting on worse things than my pews. You'd blow dry them with cold air because it dries them like a bone, and then you shave and what just falls right out?

What benefit does that have?

Because normally, when you're a bit damped down there again out of the shower, and you've gotta be really dry otherwise the blades stick and the hair sticks. But if you cold blow dry your bits before you shave them, it falls right out.

I've never had a problem.

That's not a problem. But it just gets a bit damp and sticky. Doesn't that aid the gliding of the blade. Not me, No, I get caught she closing the lead on herself.

No, she'll a bitch about that later. They made me sack and leave it open. If you want, let that go on record. What are you talking about? I'm so funny, lid closed.

On a conversation. I don't even really know it.

Okay, is it just me?

Or what does house sitting actually involve?

Yeah?

I know that I put that in there. I've had so many people say I'm house sitting my friend's place in Bunda this weekend. Do you want to come over? And I'm like, what's the house? What's it struggling with while you're not there?

Why?

No?

I agree. I have a house sat before, but only because a friend of mine had two dogs and they needed to be cared for and fed.

Put them in a candle your rat, yeah, or you could.

You save money and get a friend over. It also helps when I was living with my parents, so I didn't have to pay rent, so I wasn't at any losses. So it's good to find someone who doesn't have any outgoing. So can you slot on in and live your life?

Do they pay you rent?

No?

No? No?

Do you have to pay rent?

No?

But I wasn't like paying rent for house that I wasn't living in because I was house sitting for a right brand.

Oh that makes sense, because I was thinking to myself, like, your house would have to be drastically better than mine for me to live there for this week.

I completely agree, Like if it was.

A mansion, sure, I'll house sit and just pay around my little flat. But even then, I'm like, how much house sitting does it need? Like your plants might be a little yellow when you get home, get over it completely, Like how much maintenance is the place?

Need?

None at all unless there's a pet there. But when you go on holiday wevel Isabella go.

Hasn't been an issue so far because I have a house made Jordan. It looks after her.

Yeah, but if you and Jordan decided to go on a trip together, me, did you fucking problem so easy?

Oh this is a dumb one, says Sid.

Yeah, we're just bringing it back down to worth today, aren't we grounded?

Is it just me? Or should movie tickets be cooler?

Oh?

Yeah, what I've got a story on this. Okay, it's twenty twenty one. Put a fucking picture on it.

Make it blood? Do you collect them? No, but I could if they were cool. Oh, because I thought that might have been your reasoning, Like I want to keep all my tickets and that can actually have the artwork on it.

No, you go to a movie and it's a it's a poor man's receipt. It's just like a piece of paper.

Yeah, you're right. Actually it depends on the cinema sometimes they I actually definitely have seen the movie logo on it all be it in terrible black and white and it's probably run out of me.

Yes, but PG thirteen front and center. Put that in the top left corner. Mate, I'll give a shit. Put Marvel put a photo of Captain America in the middle.

Some people really try and scam you with fancy tickets. I had the option when I was going to see Lady Gaga in Vegas. Yeah, to pay for a normal ticket or for an extra like one hundred dollars. I got a three D ticket. Remember those tazos where you'd do graphic You'd tilt the cards side to side and it would move. It was literally just Gaga and it was three D and it's still counterada the ticket, And I'm like, why the fuck would I do that? If I wanted to prove to someone that I've been to

Yeah, Hayden, I went to Hamilton in New York and we got scammed into getting Hamilton custom cups, like plastic cups with the Hamilton on them for our wine.

Oh I love those, Yeah, but you put them in their dication. I use my Marry pop and sippy cup every night.

Oh you do actually have seen that? Yeah, but we put them the dishwasher on. Now it's just Ilton. I've lost the Hamil All right, let's do a couple more.

Oh God, is it just me?

Or does Guncle need to be ended?

I stand by it?

Sorry. Side note, isn't her scathing remarks so much less powerful when she's coming from a bin? When you sit here in flags.

Off our thought?

Yeah?

Anyway, gunkle stupid.

All you can do is smell her and her bingejuices sweeping into her converse. Yeah, I hate Gungle. I've got two godsons and my cousin, of whom's the mother insisted at the start that we were referred to as gunkle Hayden to night.

But you're not even uncle.

No, we're not. But gunkle. I wouldn't. Never. I'd rather be dead than be called gunkle.

Oh gay uncle, Yeah.

Yeah, that's where we're at. I've never been called that, nor would I call myself that. But a lot of people, like typically basic people put Instagram captions on that when they're babysitting their niece and for you. But I would never be like gunkle. Dude, isn't it.

I'm going to be sick, Like if I like the color blue, you wouldn't call me bumple. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean he needed to change the word. That works though Mitch has a hunchback, Huncle, need you.

I go back home this Christmas and they're like, god, it's put on weight. Funkles here, your fat uncle, if you've got horrific body out it stunkle, Yeah, your stinky uncle. Yeah he's arrived. Hey, I'd love to be Runkle, the rich uncle.

Oh yeah, muncle money uncle. I don't even know. That didn't make anything.

If you uncle, so I well, you know, Jenna's junkle. This is one of her favorite segments. So you know, what can you do? Thank you, Jenna. You can get out of the bin unless you're comfy.

Well done, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna can cuncle. She's concussed, Jenner a you okay?

Oh? The show must go on the day, Jenna.

Can you check on it? I'm worried.

I don't want to. I'm just not ready for the trauma of finding a dead friend in a bin. I'm not checking on her. Your girls gonna have to do it.

She was just cutting herself anyway. What's coming up next?

Well, that's us done for the year. It's eating a banana. She just threw a banana peal in the bin. Not any bin, Jenna's bin. What are you laughing at? Can I remind you you're hosting a podcast? Get on like and describe what you're seeing.

It's all smeared into a crutch.

But did you not finish the banana before putting it out? I grew up in a drought. You don't waste food.

Give me a hand, Jenna, banana. I thought it was a bin. I'm so I forgot you're in there.

Come on, it's not used to there being strange girls in there up. Oh, she really does have fucking banana all over her black hand. God, I'll hold the bin to your asshole.

Yeah that was not funny, Jenna. The audience are dying with laughter.

Yeah, they're all dead.

Swap back to your old Mike.

What did you just say, Jenna? Everywhere Nana Banana. Sorry you said it like an infantel was confused.

Sorry, banana, you did say it like banana.

I've been in a bin for an hour.

Welcome back, Jenna.

Great to have our Okay, I thought Mitch was the embellasher in the room.

Twenty minute, best out of my life thing and best show.

Guys.

We're for the year ago. We're off like Santa in his slave two gun holes.

We're podcasting uncles uncles.

We are uncles. Oh my god, maybe I could be Funkle that's your famous uncle.

No, that'd be me.

All right, let's go what about uncle. That's your sinner uncle.

Funkle uncle. That's what they'd say behind our back. We can say you, but you two can't. Yeah, Uncle, my sinning uncle. I just said that sinning.

Yeah, he literally just said that.

I didn't hear. What about Funkle famous uncle. Now that's a joke because that one I.

Did that one?

Why do I bother that one? Why do I bother?

All right, everyone, thank you for listening throughout the year. My god, we really taken one break this year. We've given you a lot of episodes.

Yeah, we thought that we could during Sydney Lockdown midyear, when we'd usually take a break, we thought, let's just power through. What's the worst that could happen? And then we realized that the words that can happen is that we get intensely burnt out. And now here we are bidding you farewell.

Burnt out, We are cooked.

Engulfed in flames.

Risby scolded, I've fucking burned out. Sam's burnt out.

I look like sover Dealsio. Oh yeah, Oh well I might edit that out. No one laughed.

Hell, she's a poor girl.

Let's all laugh at a burn's victim. A Now, fuck it, that's staying in.

We should say thank you to everyone for listening. Thank you to our new listeners as well, those who've come from TikTok and beyond Jonesy and Amanda's audience. Yes, we appreciate the one listener we got from that.

Yeah, whether you stick by this week by week or you pop in from time to time. We appreciate it and thank you for letting us keep you company.

Yep, you can keep in touch with us. We're only going to be gone for a couple of weeks. You can get me on Instagram, meet you on Instagram, on TikTok, or on everything.

Yeah, mitches turned off his bloody green light and his red receipts so he won't fucking talk to you.

And ready for Early Night over it We love yet Jenna will be taking over. This is our last show for the year, but the Genocide Show will kick off next week.

I can't wait for the Genocide Show. I just feel like we need to reiterate that we weren't kidding. I feel like she thought this was a running joke the whole time, and that she doesn't actually have a commitment.

No, it's happening.

Well, how's EP one going? Well, I have a week to do it right.

You signed a contract, Jenna on the air. We have visual and.

Audio and don't think we won't take you to court.

Okay, take me to court because I'm doing it.

Well that we wouldn't need to take it exactly. We can go over the contract later to be.

A waste of money for you anyway, Mitchure, what are her plans for the holidays? Anything happening?

I'n't really got anything planned, to be honest.

Going back home that'll be nice.

Yeah, yeah, I haven't been able to do that for ages. I don't know. Yeah, it's kind of looking forward to chilling because the thing is, I've I do like my life, but I just want to enjoy that life without having to do things. It's one a chill in my own environment.

Basking the money we've made this year, which you would not believe it.

No, no, no, I don't bask bath. I've got a batham on sweet full of our cash now, oh yeah, gener it's illudicrius.

We don't put it in the bank, so we just put it in Mitch's bath.

Of course.

Of course, that many zeros, I'm shocked do exist, to be honest, But it's twenty twenty one for us.

Like the emergency services number, quadriple it, that's us.

It's a lot, so many makes sense.

Now, ambulance it's just rolls.

Jenny. You've got a tea bag on your knee in that bit. Oh no, yeah, yeah.

It's pretty shy, all right. We will see you guys next year. I thank you for listening throughout the year.

Yeah, I love you, appreciate it. I should have asked what you guys are doing over Christmas? Sorry you asked me. I had a very boring answer.

I'm worth working until Christmas Eve, and then I get a couple of days off and I'm back working hosting the New Year's Eve show, and then I actually have time off.

What are you doing with that time off?

I don't know. I don't know. We were going.

I'll so you're not going overseas.

Not to La. We can't. I'm a cross.

So you can come to Bogan Gate.

The cosy music's getting allowed by the second. Enjoy your Christmas, enjoy your time with your family, Stay safe, please, and we'll see you next year for season four.

Love you idiots, Bye bye.

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to a to D Brief. This is our secret segment on the end last add brief for the year. You pretend that we're going and then we keep talking shit. Hopefully no one hears this because it's embarrassing. We've got ADHD we can't stay on track. Our thoughts go. All thoughts are weird places.

Yeah, that's sometimes the best part. Last week, though, voted by fans the worst ad debrief in history, and that is I've had multiple dms to corroborate.

It was my favorite, purely. I'll come in.

Sam's coming in.

Sam. Hi, you haven't come for a wine top, I've have you because mummy's had a week. It's gone, I will.

I can confirmed. By the way, last week horrendous.

Yeah, I told you, But in many ways for me, last week was my favorite add beef because Mitchell finally conceded that having sound effects blared at you aimlessly, it's fucking annoying. He goes, Actually, I get where you're coming from.

Get out. Guess who that is? Oh, guess Margo. Robbie got a new film coming out, nothing to do with us, but it's just came through the same I.

Thought I was bad at reading the room.

No one cares, General one cares.

I thought they were good. Enjoy your Christmas different. Where are you going, Jenna? What are you doing spending time in your castle?

No, I'm working on the podcast. Oh the Genocide Show? How long will the episodes go for it's a secret.

I think fifteen minutes, producer, no more.

No, I think they're can be longer than and as CEO, my suggestion would be maybe only three genocide shows, because that would take you through to Christmas and the week of New Year's like the third, and then everyone can just suffer through January.

So you'll have one week commencing the twentieth Jenna have a Christmas special. I think we'll try to get Delta finger.

I think week one will be the Christmas special.

Yeah, oh ye, because it's the week commencing the twentieth. Yeah, so you can talk Christmas stuff there with Delta. She coming, she's TBC. She's doing a background check on you. Okay, the twenty seventh, Yeah, we'll do it. We'll do New Year's one, we don't content TBC, and then why don't you do another one? Okay, may as well?

Yeah, me as well.

We can start with three and see how we go from there. But I say we can do four if we have momentum.

Yeah, of course, which we will.

I'm already feeling that momentum. Go oh no, why don't we just air one clienting quicker than Lisa Wilkinson's popularity.

It really is bad at the moment, isn't it.

Yeah?

What has she done?

Did I?

She's just off?

She is off.

You can tell she'll be a new carrier. And in twenty twenty two.

She just checked out.

We just decided to hate her for no read my god.

The one thing I'm excited about about any season three is fucking off Kerry Anne from our opener, Thank god, she's gone.

Yeah she's a cow. Did you see that she started up very old beef with Yumith Steyn.

I did see that.

I only thought that this before Jenny showed me.

That's very recent.

That was in like our season two, like twenty twenty opener, and it's like they wrestl dwelling on it.

Yeah, who asked who had a red carpet? Jenna? What's the story there?

Maybe you should bring up jenny'sone news.

But yeah, you know what, that's a really good point. It's a segment that we could even potentially do all thanks to Beaga Cheese. Here's Jenny's Janius.

Thanks Mitch. Carry Kenny reignites her feared with Yimmy Stein's on the red carpet at a Sydney event as she goes on a rant about the radio star who called a racist two years ago. Before, the pair are seen having a very intense conversation, Wow.

What else we're on radio? Bad plays? That's interesting, Jennet Moore, Jane News come up in a bit. Yep, he's kesher.

I am strange.

Done.

The story was done, notthing else that was.

Then there are quotes from Kerry Anne.

Would you like the quote?

Yeah, go for it.

Keriy Anne says I haven't seen her since that day. She didn't turn up for work the next day. She was booked to do three days, and that night she texts our executive producer.

And said, I think I'm having a day off and never turned up. When asked if she was planning on speaking to Stein's at Wednesday's event, Kenney said, well, yeah, I'm not anti. I'm not embarrassed about what happened, what I said and how I reacted. I have no issue. She's powerful with what she said, but I will not say that it wasn't hurtful to be called a racist.

Oh I cane?

Yeah, shut the fuck up.

For someone who is as ancient as she is, she's so immature couldn't agree morecisely.

Love's a glittered moment every red carpet. She's always sequined.

Loves the calf tan, loves the calf tan.

Could you wear a calf tan? Would you ever wear a camilla?

Why did that thought pop into your hand?

Because I feel like there's something you'd be interested in wearing.

No, although they look so comfy, so I do get the They do look comfortable, a lot of easy access.

Just lift them up and go for it to the bathroom, that is. Yeah. Anyway, what a season it's been. Have any highlights anyone?

Can we circle back to you talking about shaving your pubes? Yeah, I don't get the issue. Why do you need to cool it down.

It's not cooling down, it's caught. It's just temporary char like I'm not hot in going fuck, I feel hot, it's just when you get out of the shower you steaming. Your paws are open. I prefer to do it on a completely dry surface and cooling it with cold air just gets it primed and ready.

To completely dry surface. Isn't that a dry shave which everyone advises against, Like dry shave is when you get fucking warts and shit.

Now, But you've just been more strokes, you've been in the shower, you've just cleaned yourself.

Now, are you doing a complete shave or just.

Oh god, no, not a complete show?

Oh well that's okay.

I thought you were doing a full on close shade. Really should have specified that, because I was like, why would you dry them off before running a ray on your thin.

Who completely bald shaves their pubes in twenty twenty one?

Not me?

Are you bald? Jenner? People aren't bald in the pubey?

Oh god?

No? Are you saying no? Oh in your eye? Like I'm like a baby down there?

No?

No, I've got to pull that off?

Yeah, no, you couldn't. It takes a very specific type of person to put it. Takes a very specific adult to pull off no hair down there? Yeah, in fact, especially for guys, especially for guys who's.

Got the stubble rash. No good?

Are you can understand my confusion?

Yeah? Because if you thought I was bear down.

There, No, I thought you meant not the actual like you know, Clipper the bit. No, I didn't think he meant the bit like the pel of its bit. I thought you meant all the shitty flyaways down there. I was like, you want that wet if you're taking care of that a god?

Yeah, I used bioil on that ship, thank god.

No, I really thought you were a maniac.

No, because you know, I'm glad we cleaned that up. I'm glad we circle back to that anyway.

Anyone have it in New Year's Resolutions? Workless?

Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah.

I ticked that off last year.

Yeah he did, Jenna, what did you have anything?

No, I'll think about it. Yeah, from my genocide show.

Oh genocide.

Sorry, you'll think about it and you will reveal it exclusively on the Genocide. So you're hooking and teasing as we currently Wow, so just wait, Jenna will reveal her new Year's resolution in the New Year's show. That's great marketing, Jenna, well done by on your behalf. I can't wait for that.

You can stick around, don't go away.

No, it's pretty big.

I feel that you should finally take us up on our generous offer to teach you to drive or whatever. I can't. I can't make your resolutions for you. Stay on yours.

Maybe we could start the season four with that.

You know, I quite like that. I'm up for it. Can we make it happen.

I thought you were hooking and teasing, but sure, she just blew alone. Now that's as I'll have another resolution.

All right, do you still have your cat?

Of course I do.

Where you go through cats photo it she's.

Getting her picture with Santa.

Oh are you no?

I know my daughter? Well, she would not want a Photoalla hates people.

It takes about three hours of belly rubs with hands in the air to show that you are innocent for her to even like you, and Santa does not have that time.

Well, no, I think specifically it's people like you and Santa. She can't stand loud.

Large, joyous general population. What a terrible person to be.

But also mildly creepy. Excuse you, it was a jack, do you get it?

Not creepy? And Isabella loves me.

Now.

I thought we had this understanding that sometimes we tell jokes.

It's just serious current affairs. Tonight tonight on the shower, guys, I have no brain power left. I'm actually my brain is mush. I don't know how you guys do breakfast?

Wake up?

What time was your alarm when you do breakfast?

Mitch A three thirty? Yeah, I think no, three fifteen.

Hellish, Yeah, hellish.

And you have to do a huge detail to pick up Jenner every morning.

Oh yeah, that's what I do.

I give and I give.

Give. What did you do now that he's resigned, Jenna.

She risks being brutally attacked on the dark streets of Macquarie Park every morning. That's what she does.

Worth it, is it? Yeah? For your employment?

Yeah?

So what are you doing next year, Jane? This is another year with Johnson and Amanda.

Yep, right, yeah, yeah, it's going to be good.

More.

I'll reveal more on the podcast.

In the Jena Sidher, Ah, you'll reveal what the job that you have done for years will be.

You don't know that it could be changing left went and see.

Well, I'll accept your resignation gladly if that's what you're thinking.

No, there's no resignation going on.

Well true, Jenna, there is something we have to do. Let us celebrate multiple achievements in the last few weeks. Jenner is an ACRO Australian Commercial Radio Award winner.

Although she never displays these skills and capabilities. Now, yeah, she has impressed the judges for her radio award.

Jenna, congratulations, sound the.

Horns, thank you, best off a Newcomer, Yes, which can I just say best off a newcomer.

He's like giving an Oscar for best Newcomer to fucking Dame Ellen Mirron have been in radio.

Almost four years.

That it's because there were so many years of COLVID where the radio awards were canceled, so they were kind of taking the whole period into account, like a three year period, bearing in mind the last radio awards prior to COVID. I was also up for Best Off and Newcomer. Yes, but I don't know there was some gripe between the judges and Kiss that year because not one Kiss staff member one. It couldn't be because I wasn't the best because some fucking dog from Triple M won it.

Who won it?

Some Digital, a guy named Will Yeah, some clown working for moon Man Ripe. Yeah, he got it over me, which just doesn't make any sense to me.

Yeah.

I lost my acra, my first acre to two up and comers, and to this date and what they've done.

Themselves, No, I think I think they're going on to big things. Mission Andy yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'll tell you what iPhone funny yourself.

The four of us here that akro win is a Salmini.

Yeah, so is that right?

You know it's much harder to win for presenting category than it is for stabling a piece of paper.

Oh okay, told me? Well, I feel that. Another reason I didn't win is because I didn't write complete lies on my application. You know what Jenna wrote on her application for Best Off and Newcomer In addition to my WSFM Judith, I am a producer? Is it just me? The podcast I did.

Not roll on?

So you were skating on our success?

That was my thirty under thirty one?

Again? Another lie under thirty Yeah?

I know, yes, I admit to that and that.

What did you win for that? Tell us what that is?

Again?

The first seven year old woman to win a thirty under.

Thirty one and I'm proud.

Now did you get a trophy for that? Did you? Sam? Do you and Jenna? Because the acras were remote this year, they weren't held at a function center?

Oh were they? No? No? Well fuck, I don't want one.

They were digital. Did you guys get sent a trophy to pay for it?

I have no idea. No one has texted me, no one has said anything.

Yeah, sorry, Sam, we actually should say, Sam, what what acro? Did you win? Again?

Some multi media multimedia one?

Never remember it?

But yeah, no, I found out in a hotel room by myself and by yourself.

You're Krishnis listening, isn't she? You're like by myself. I swear I would buy myself in a hotel room and I was.

Dry as a barone. Why are you telling us that part? Yeah?

I don't know.

Do we get something?

I don't know?

Of course you wouldn't get cash, you get a trophy?

Do you actually not have one? No?

No, I didn't send them. Mark, that's stupid.

Don't even have finalists. Give me there bottles.

Let's call them.

Call the commercial Radio Australia now and say Hi, it's me Mitch Cherry. You know me obviously, but I don't know you.

You didn't give me best comedy segment. You go it to Henry and Anderson.

Yeah, yeah, HAMI.

Should Mandy Raymi the closed down for the year. That's a shame.

How have you ever won a trophy? Yeah? What was it for.

Water Polo? I think was Nationals New Zealand. I didn't even play on the team. They just took me from Morale.

Yeah, you're a cheerleader.

Yeah yeah, by the side of the pool.

Still you were really good at drawing zinc on their legs and shit, now you.

Put on an at Yeah. Have you won a trophy?

Only one? And I was so fucking annoyed as a kid because my brother had like forty trophies, like they just give him to anyone when you play football and soccer. If you play cricket, it's like best bowler clean it's white pants, like his fucking wardrobe was full of them. And I didn't get any until I think it was twenty sixteen when I moved to Sydney and I got Vocational Student of the Year, which means out of every bastard that went to tape in New South Wales, I was the best.

What's vocational mean?

I don't know, but can you congratulate me or something? I was the best fucking taste huden out of all of the state in that year. And you know what, five years later, I clearly only been duds after me because now they've asked me to come back and host the award. Oh my gosh, and the Vocational Student of the Year ward goes too. I'm just warming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a first place ribbon for blowing a ping pong ball off the top of the pool from one side of the other.

Get out.

That was a race put ping pong balls on top of the water. And you because you come of to in there, that's sunset along the surface. Some fucking mind.

Many trophies.

I went home a couple of weeks ago and for the first, very very gracious, I found a trophy in a bottom jaw from two thousand and two, and it was the Junior Encouragement.

Awards for music. See what I mean for music?

Yeah, in two thousand and two, I was six or something.

I was going to say, see sport, they give stupid subcategy because like seeenior encouragement, junior encouragement, geriatric encouragment.

Yeah, they do it for everyone.

But yeah, music, that's good. You got junior music encouragement.

Fuck are you guys on the walls in your school? You know the big wooden parks that they put up in the halls and they like get someone that makes gold lettering to just put your name on, like school captain, and then it's got like from when the school opened in nineteen sixteen to the current day.

Oh yeah in one of those.

Yeah, I'm on mine. I won the Drama Award every year from year seven until year twelve, except in year eleven when they realized that I wouldn't I have won every year, so they gave it to someone else. And the teachers even pulled me aside and said, oh, it was going to be you, but just for uptics, we've given it.

To She just goes the show. It's all bullshit.

It's all bulls, like.

The fact that they didn't do a thorough background check on Jenna's under thirty of all correct, She's been here since the dawn of time. You can't give that to her.

Counter rings absolutely, but when I.

Got it, she goes, oh, I thought it was thirty centuries.

Yeah, that's what she believed. She genuinely believed it too.

Well, they didn't specify what did I do it?

And that's on them. Yeah, perfect, that's on them.

We run that shit. I want to ring them in firway with Jane's trophy.

Anyway, it's time for five secondhen I play on my new show, Summer Breakfast. I thought i'd bring it to the podcast, which you guys like to play.

Yeah, go on to play.

No, all right, general, you have to play.

I'm just not in the mood for sound effects and shit. And also, don't take credit for that game. My new game.

What do you mean this my new game? Let's roll it all right? In five in ten seconds, name five categories in the chosen topic so you can pick out of the current categories entertainment, celebrity, sport, science or lucky dip.

Celebrity.

You have to speak up your own radio.

Celebrity with theeld section there.

No, we removed it as I got a complaint yesterday, so we had to pull sealed section. Ah yeah, so.

This is the soft cock version of Carl and jack yaw.

Yeah, well I never claimed to be them, Jenna, can.

You can you just to rebel against that complaint you got for being two sections the filthiest thing ever? Like, name five slang words for a vagina? Go ten seconds, go name.

Six racial slurs.

You didn't, Jenna?

Do you won?

You've won a four day trip to prison? All right, no, Jenna, this is your real chance to do this. Okay, in ten seconds, name five Kardashians or Jenna's see no one.

Wants Kim Courtney, Kylie Kendall on more.

Did you say Kardashin or dinner?

I said, oh, I could have played that.

I was like, I don't know.

The fucking that was so annoying. I don't want to do it, Kim.

It's like these people that are like, oh my god, I'm so embarrassing to think.

Yeah, yeah, don't make me think. It's Sam's turn. I've given you science category the smartest person here where science? In ten seconds, name five planets, Go for.

It, Jupiter, Satin, Mars, Earth, Plutot.

June one more. Mercury Yeah, mercury r done. Come a mit. You have to do it. Everyone's one. You get to pick the category. What do you want? Entertainment, celebrity, sports, Science, Like you dip luck.

You dip Wow, I'm random?

Oh god, this is tough.

Turn this down. Sorry.

In ten seconds, ye, name five things you'd find at a music festival.

Pingers, ecky, needles, vomit, coon bags, beauty ls.

You want two hundred dollars our juice for a beauty including hoo to beauty, peace out and more.

Can I be on your breakfast show?

No chance in the world.

I want to promote my podcast.

You couldn't because my executive producer is Penfold Arch.

Nemesis Nat Penfile booked me on the Edge last week. Maybe shod book me again.

Imagine, imagine. No, we did talk about it, but we should go guys for the final time season three really already. Yeah, we need to let people go enjoy their Christmases prepare for the Genocide show.

It's the thirteenth of December.

Yeah, no, I know, but have you done your Christmas shopping?

Nah, I've done that.

I've got a fucking shop. Yeah, I'm one of those people that goes to Maya Westfield the night before or to No.

I hate that now.

I kind of like that. There's a magic in the air of the craze and the Christmas decorations and the low stock and the extended trading hours low stock.

Where's the magic in that? I really wanted to gather them this shirt, but there's only four xls.

Like, no, it's not that, But it's looking at the shelves and seeing like there's not much on the shelves and coals, you know, all the eggnog's gone, or there's not many panatons left, Like people have really stocked up for Christmas, there's only the shitty Hams left.

God, no, I can't do that. I can't leave shopping that late.

Yeah.

Plus I've also gotten this reputation for myself for always getting thoughtful gifts, and I'm like, I don't have any thoughts left. Actually, yeah, it's all gone.

It's pretty much out.

They're gone.

Yeah, we have Actually, guys, just sit for a second and speak. If you actually have a thought you think is worth saying.

Oh, maybe I should do. You know what I should do because people love my meditations. Literally, I'll empty your mind.

Oh okay, okay.

Oh that's the other thing I didn't tell you guys this fuck. I just remember as a little surprise, I organized for a private sound bath class in the studio.

Oh where is the bath?

No? That that bird that comes in with all the pots and ship. Yeah that fell through because she was busy today and I was like, I could try and reschedule them. But I know what you guys are like. Yeah, Jenna's like I've got THEMBA every day except this one day.

Yeah, and Connie's got a cent to.

Full midg Why don't you guide us into twenty twenty two and season four of the podcast with one life final guided Meditation.

I'm going to I'm going to need some sound bath. Okay you find that of course traditional last time I did a meditation, wasn't it doing an iter? Buttra's impression may should be been Oh no, wait, I've done some normal ones too.

Here we go. This is sound both by Michelle Burke with a se right.

Welcome to my guided meditation. If you're at a place to safely do so, begin by closing your eyes and bringing awareness to your breath.

Time I've done that.

Shut your mouth. Feel your chest expanding as you fill your lungs with air. Now work with me here. On your next exhale, release any tension you may be carrying in your shoulders. Let them relax breathing, and relax the more. As you continue to breathe in and out slowly, I want you to think of one thing that's been causing you stress recently. Looking well, your eyes are meant to be closed. Now picture that one thing that's been causing

Was like, I thought you were done, be present. I was about to wrap well. I for one am very relaxed.

I do actually feel a little bit better.

I'm actually really did.

Now.

What are your new Year's resolutions?

I felt bad shaking you around that snow globe though.

The genocide choice.

That's the things I get for all the blood, sweat and tears I put into this show. He puts me in a fucking snow globe and shakes me to death.

My news resolution, there's nothing there. May we go to the beach the beach more? Actually, yeah it mightor big go to the beach.

Yeah, you don't want that. You want to improve your life, not put yourself through fucking agony.

I hate the beach. Yes, guys, stay safe, enjoy your holiday season, be mary and if you want a green skip bin touched by Jenner, it'll be out the front of Kiss FM in Macquarie Park for the next twelve days. All right, anything to add Mitchell? No, and I think we should rap?

Yeah?

Thanks everyone. You can still get tickets to Mitchell's life show. Where can people get tickets? Linking by Yeah? All right guys, Well we didn't think because we had John laws on we should end out last show of the year with his closing music, the music that he uses at the end of his radio show. Isn't this nice?

Mickey sums off the hell.

Let me be a little candy. Let me be a little blind to the farce of those about me.

It's all about being nice to each other, Mitchell take note.

Yeah right, let me be just a little bit more cheery, think a little more.

And a little less of.

God.

I'm getting all the bus or what's wrong with me? We need to get out of here, all right.

We love you all, look after yourself, stay safe and we want to give them more than three percent over the holidays off. Fuck, that's all they're getting.

Oh, we'll do the maths. So you know we're going to miss hold on where it's my calendar?

Yeah, pop it up?

Hang on three, six, nine, twelve, What comes after?

Twelve, twelve, fifteen, fifteen, eighteen eighteen, I'm no good at time twenty one.

We hope this podcasts made you feel at least twenty one.

That's a nice.

We want to leave you on twenty one. And when I say at least, it means it could be more money.

I'm sure it will be. To be honest, Yeah, let's be real. Its content. It will make you more than twenty one.

We hope the podcast makes you feel fifty two weeks.

Better tell long A baby's in the oven. There you go, a little legend baby. Love you guys, Thank you for listening. I'll see you in season four.

Wait, love you idiots. We'll with your bye.

Yeah, bine, Let me be little candy. Let me be a little blinded to the far so those about me.

Let me praize at more.

Let me be and just a little bit more cheery.

Think a little more.

And a little less.

Soon