#84: Gaslighting Jenna Into Marriage

People do some weird shit.

Television legend Carrie Ane Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippot.

Some Cookie.

Some things make more sense than others.

Bring pikes, nurseries, mercury pikes, p y k e.

S Hey, why I hey, as.

In kill hey? Why okay?

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults?

Shood?

Why is life so expensive?

I'm not even having a good time.

This is just a couple of mitches.

What about me?

Don't forget who?

No, he is mixture and it's eighty four nock knock?

Who's there? I'm here?

High dumb bitch is at the door?

Excuse me? How very dare you?

Sorry? Also to get to your house, Mitchell, you know you have to knock on seventeen doors. It's hell.

Well, I'm actually moving apartments very soon. Did I tell you?

Oh?

No, I knew you were looking, but I didn't realize you have you found one?

Found one moving in a couple of weeks and it has an elevator, so even more doors to get through.

Oh my god, our pricekeeper Jene is here. Jenny. You know Jenna and I have entered your house at the same time, and it's like one of those haunted mansions where they've got seventeen doors and like no one falls into a laugh a pit in the other one's a bit of snakes and only one gets you inside, and then you end up.

In a garage and it's all very odd.

It's really trippy, Mitchell. So you're moving, that's very exciting. Nice nice place.

Yeah, it's really lovely. But I'm just like going through that process that Sam has just been through, where I'm like, oh, moving, it's such a punish Sam.

It's annoying, right.

I locked down the day that COVID started. Oh, it was the absolute worst. I was so excited. Got my new count you're gonna get on my new furniture. Haven't gone a single thing. I've still got moving boxes.

Months later, still there are people outside laughing at your jokes. What's going on out there?

I've got an audience. No one cares about you guys.

Wow, Oh Mitchell, that'll be hellish. If you need help, I am definitely able to give you a call and give you some mental advice that day.

Yeah, good god, you're good to me. Hey, Mitch, I'm so sorry. By the way, I heard the bad news. It's how terrible you've been dethroned. That must have been hard. What do you mean, Oh haven't you heard?

What do you mean dethroned?

Oh?

There was an ad before the Mast Singer the other night, and I thought, oh, poor Mitchell, he's lost his crown.

Do you want to hear it?

Yeah?

What do you mean by it? The Mast Singer brought to you by Pepper Pig, the world's number one pig.

According to Who, number one pig. Now you'll always be my number one pick Mitchell, No, fuck Pepper. I find pepper Pig to be quite malicious. Actually, did you see the tweet that came from the Pepper Pig account throwing shit at Kanye Web?

Yes? What they say?

Well, it was like a screenshot of Kanye's album rating, which was six point zero, next to a picture of Pepper Pig's album, which was rated six point five. And they were like, oh, Pepper Pig didn't need to host listening parties in Mercedes ben Sadium to get that point four.

Oh my god, It's like.

It's not like a child's character to be such a bitch.

No, But then they deleted it an hour later.

Really, yeah, well, you know they went soft.

The scariest part. Have you googled how tall is Pepper Pig? Mitchell? Do it right now? Google?

Isn't it monstrous? Why do I have to fucking do it?

Reaction?

Now?

I know this, it's something ridiculous, right.

If you google how tall is Pepper Pig? The answer is seven feet and one inch.

Taller than you and you're on exactly a small boy.

No wait, all of than he's seven foot one. That would insinuate that her parents are ten feet long.

Oh yeah, they're like the size of my swim.

Far who's horrific. Away, I've been dethroned. That's fine, I don't mind.

Have you been watching the Mask singer though?

Oh my god, I have?

Yeah, I'm really Have you heard the Kebab?

Oh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had the one in the Kebab mask As if that's not Jack Fitch.

I know it was gonna let me fine, it has to be him. And they're all guessing women, right, They're all like, I know that woman's voice.

Yeah, I'll find it because everyone like you can't not recognize his voice. They've tried to like manipulate an auto tuna to bit here, we go.

Here, we go to hear the voice sitting here?

That's him?

Like, are they stupid? Did they all think we're dumb?

Fucking Danny? And that could be my sister Kylie.

No, it's not your assistance.

It's so clearly him.

Should we call him? You've got his number. You're better friends than him than I am. Why don't you call him and just go? Are you the kebab? Get his answer and a hang out?

Yeah, that's a bit aggressive. He's also a bit He's good like that. Like, if he's got a secret to keep, he'll keep it. But I can try, Like he wouldn't admit it if it was him, call.

Him, put him. I can call it through here if you want, or do you want to call it off your mobile?

I'll have to send you his number because if I do it here, you guys won't be able to say anything.

That's all. Oh, you do it. We don't need to. I don't want to ambush him to think he's on the record. I think it's better if you do it. Yep, all right, calling the Kebab? I mean Jack vision.

Jack, Hi, Hi Jack, it's your good friend Mitchell. I can recognize your voice even if you can't recognize mine. Dylan. Hi, Hi, I'm on the podcast. I should let you know.

How are you? I?

I'm good? How have you been a big night on stage last night?

What do you mean?

You're the kabab, aren't you?

Oh? No, I've been getting so many messages about this kebab. I can't deal.

Yeah, probably because it's your voice. I'm not the kebab, but I think she has a great voice though she I'll he your shit, whoever it is.

Oh my gosh, it's not me.

Didn't you put out a new single recently? People can listen to that and compare the voices. We know that that's you, and when you're in studio.

I wish it was.

I would love to do that show.

Yeah right, okay, what's the new single again?

It's good? Oh my god, thank you for giving it a plug.

It's called Goodbye Goodbye. You see now I've done you a favor. Now you do me a favor. You give me the exclusive. You're the fucking kebab, aren't you. I'm not sorry. Tunnel love you.

You get rid of him.

He's the kbab.

He wouldn't admit it, but it's fucking him.

She would have said, my monstrosity of a co host knows his way around a kebab and he reckons you are one I've done a kebab? So did you have to.

Talk that whole time? I've made it very clear he couldn't hear you. It's very hard trying to listen to him and you when my head.

Sorry, I didn't realize that we weren't patching through to the call. Anyway, it holds up. You didn't.

Oh, he's calling me back.

No, you can take it if you want. Nah, Well, only time will tell Mitchell HM.

How embarrassing if by the time this episode comes out he's off the show.

Yeah, and imagine by the time it airs it's Christine A Knew and he's like, I told you, welcome to the show. If it's your first time listening, welcome to Is It just Me? The podcast? Every week we start the show the same way, something we noticed, something we hate or appreciate. They're our gems, the call, and after.

We've done and is it just me? Each today we've got a gas lighting Jenner coming up. It's already happened. We prank Colder last week after the show, so you'll hear what happened there. And also I have a violin right in front of me. Oh my god, you kid the last week. Yes, I picked it up because I organized a saxophone for Mitch last week to see if he still remembered how to play it. Now it's my turn see if I remember.

I haven't heard this story, but I couldn't hire one. We had to buy it on Facebook market.

Wait you bought it.

Year, Mitchell, aren't it?

Yeah?

I now own this all.

The podcast does. That's one of our assets. Is it used violin?

It is? Well, we'll see if all the money my parents spent on violin lessons it was worth it?

Yes, very true? All right, My agent this week came to me in a fever dream. I woke up like ten am scrolling through Instagram and I saw something on someone's stories, and I think we can implement it into our show.

Okay, quick question before we move on the whole time we've been doing this podcast together nearly two years. I've heard you say that phrase fever dream a million times. I don't know what that means. What's a fever dream?

Oh, a fever dream like you know when you're really sick, or you've got a high fever and you're really hot and you're kind of like hallucination.

You haven't really whacked dreams.

Yeah, it's kind of like when you're sick.

How often's that happening to you? You use that phrase all the time.

No, it's an expression like a fever dream Like it's not real. I'm not actually having fever dreams, although it wouldn't surprise.

I'm gonna say you were right.

It's a coin of phrase. All right, Well let's get into it. Can I go first?

Yeah?

Go for God?

Here we go?

Is it just me?

Is this the best way to introduce your guests on your show? Ever? So I've got some more.

Because everyone out there has shows? Do they how relatable?

Yeah?

The best thing about you is that you're always in touch. I don't want to hear anything to the contrary, never out of touch.

This is up there with it? Is it just me? Or a red carpet's exhausted.

That it should have been in my junk?

But just who is filming a full day of television exhausting?

Is it just me? Or is it so annoying when they charge you so much tax? When you earn over a billion.

Is it just me? Or is the one yacht rule ridiculous?

Okay, what are you getting out?

What do you want to say again? So this TV panel show, it's like a game show in the afternoon in the UK. But the way that the host introduces the guests, which are everyday civilians, they're just people that want to win the money, is absolutely ludicrous and I think it's I think we can take it on board. So have a listen. I've got a grab. This is from last night's episode.

Tim Robinson, a keen traveler who caused a tailback in the Dartford Tunnel when he ran into the back of a sab Rob Butlin, a marathon runner who's traveled through all two hundred and seventy London Tube stations in eighteen hours, well dressed as Father Christmas. And they're Captain Terry Prett, a former bookmaker who's been assembling a stand for his television since early two thousand and three.

Right weird?

What Why do they get so specific? They would have had to have asked so many questions to find those fun facts. You know, whenever you get one of those like get to know you things, they say what's the random fun fact about yourself? I can never remember anything off the top of my head.

Yeah. I always used to say, like, you know, it's like two truths in a lie. I would always say I was born with one lang, which is true, and I have had my ears pierced, which isn't true, but everyone always thought it was.

Yeah. Yeah, I noticed that whenever people do those things, like the true one is too specific that it can't not be that.

Yeah, yeah, very true. My auntie once met a guy in October twelfth, nineteen seventy four that had an oscar.

Yeah, it's like, oh, I have a tattoo, or I will telled at gunpoint in Beirute, and it's like, well, how did you think of the second one?

It's obviously that I've never had a feeling, or I was in a car crash that killed three people on the twelfth of October. I think it's the second. Anyway, it gets worse because this is how she announces the competing team.

Harry Kanaharutnam a Keen amateur musician who was stung by a scorpion targeted by sniper ripe and contracted dysentery on a holiday to Sri Lanka James True, a property solicitor who wants her to tell Lennox Lewis that cranberry juice wasn't on the menu. And there Captain Lucy Harry, a law graduate who spent a morning in China shoveling panda feces.

What why?

Yeah, And by the time they moved on to the next fact, I've only just processed the one I heard there was that was information overload.

Paul Carrot Directive or whatever the first guy's name was, was held at sniper gunpoint. And by the time you processed that, the poor girl had dysentery.

Yeah, you know how you said we could take this on. Let's not That was.

Right, you know what? And that was called a brainstorm? Yes, yes, all right, Well I got that out of my system. You're ready, Mitch, hm hit me?

Is it just me?

Have you noticed that old people always say dirty shit without realizing?

Oh?

Yeah, like what it's a classic.

Oh, there's so many. Like my friend Katie. I was catching up with her recently and she went to visit her grandmother and she took her son with her, so his great grandmother and he was like playing around doing what kids do you know picking up everything off the shelf, and he found this cat ornament and he put it in his mouth. And then the old friggin great grandma says, no, no, vance, we don't eat pussy.

Oh dear, he can eat whatever he wants.

Well, I feel that she has quite a point. I don't recommend eating pussy.

Eye should get her on the show exactly.

But no, my name does the same. It reminded me many years ago we had just finished Christmas lunch and her and Pop left quite early after lunch, and I was like, guys, why are you leaving already? And Nan says, oh, we've got to go. Pop's knocked up.

My mom says that all the time.

Wait what does it mean?

Like tired, needs a nap?

But the knocked up means something very different to us.

Wow, are you walking with my mom? And I'll be tired. And she'd be like, oh, you're knocked up?

Really, Oh you knocked up, sweetheart, Jenna. Would she react the same way if you actually told her you're with child. Oh you're knocked up, darling, that's all right, we'll just go home.

Probably if you called your mum right now, he said, Hi, it's been a long Wednesday. I'm knocked up. She would do it? Can you call it? Okay, text me a number. Oh, we're calling Jenna's mother Rumsfeld. Sorry, not Rumsfeld, now it's Rumsfeld.

Even a name?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, Darling. Jenna's mum Rosemary.

Roslyn.

You're going Jenna.

Id Hello?

Hello?

Oh?

Is that you Jo?

Yeah?

I'm just walking to the podcast. All right, I'm just so knocked up.

Oh how come?

I don't know. I'm just really knocked up.

Oh, Jim, that's not good. No you are.

Yeah. Wait, Mitch is calling me.

Hello, it's Mitch, and Mitch were here.

Oh oh sorry, you're too.

You're all together, We all together.

We wanted to know if you thought knocked up meant something different to what Jenna thinks, because we think it means something else. But I know it's I means she's tired.

Do you always say that?

I would love it if it was something else.

So you're not knocked up? Is this only a joke?

Yeah, she's got heaps of energy. She's glowing. Actually, she looks radiant.

Oh thank god.

As long as I don't mind about the other knocked up, As long as you.

Would you like to be a grandmother. Are you waiting for it to happen?

I would love to be a grandmother.

You'd be such a good grandmother.

Oh, I love it.

I'd spoil.

We'll get cracking, Jenna, And let's just hope when the day comes she isn't actually knocked up on the way to work. All right, Love to talk to you, Les, She's so sweet.

Anyway, I continue. I wanted to know other people who have noticed old people saying dirty shit without realizing. So I've got a bunch of voice messages that people sent to me in Instagram. Do want to hear them?

Yeah?

Go for this?

Okay, So first up, Chris sent this in about something his granddad says.

Hey, it's Chris from Yamba, and my grandfather once said he was absolutely jizzing for a cup of tea. Oh what, I've been there?

What makes them think that jizzing means like stinging for a cup of teas?

I guess? I guess vocabulary changes so quickly, even ten years ago, I don't think jizzing was really thrown around like it is now. True.

So Jenna, can you google jizzing?

Can get off the work WiFi?

Yeah, we'll come back to that. Nikki sent this one and she had one of those old haggard choir teachers in school. Right, here's what happened.

Okay, it's Nikki from New Zealand choir teacher. Whenever should teach a particular song, it started on the D chord, So whenever we'd learned, she'd tell the pianist give me the D. And we were so disciplined that she never worked it out.

Class seven B. What is so funny.

To go googling? Gz?

Yes, I've got it here.

Okay, cool.

So it was put on Urban Dictionary in two thousand and four.

I don't check Urban Dictionary of the origin.

That is the only thing.

I can school.

So Sam has something, so can.

Confirm that not at any point has meant just excitement in it comes from the word jism, which is only just it's only come. That's the only definition.

Is jizzum the full word for jizz.

Yeah.

So, so jizzing comes from the word jism, which is with a nest.

What's jizz?

Yeah, what's jism?

It's just come?

Oh. So jizing is like a colloquial term, yeah.

Like it's a verb.

I've never heard the full word for it. Mitchie say that several times a day. Jiz am hungry, I do. Yeah, all right, this one comes from Ben.

Hey, it's Ben from Beaumain.

Whenever my grandma eats too much food, she says, I'm railed.

It's quite concerning.

That's only a new one, to be honest. And I only found that out because I was like watching a video on Pornhub and it was like, whoever, whoever gets railed, and I'm like, oh, they had a train station. No, it's me fucked.

What were you watching on porn Hub?

Oh?

I don't know YouTube video?

Move on.

Pornhub sucks. Now they've got rid of all the amateur shit. Yeah, can I pass on a bit lockdown wisdom? I've attained you go because I was missing all the amateur stuff on pornhub. Thisvid dot com, get amongst that, this vid, this vid dot com amateur.

I found myself on ex Hamster the other day. It sounds weird. That's the name.

It's very good ex Hamster. Yeah yeah right, okay, anyway with the animal, well, why would they call it that?

I don't know, shortens, that's very energetic, okay, move on, move on?

All right. So one more. This one's from Beth. Hey, this is Beth from Melbourne. My grandmother one day said to my aunt, you should give him a hot tongue lashing, meaning tell him off. Everyone was in stitches. What a hot tongue lashing?

Oh my god, that's how Jenna got this role on the podcast.

Oh yeah, I mean in the early days, Mitch, as you might recall, I would frequently give you a hot tongue lash.

Ye.

Oh god.

These days not so much.

When I get a voice message from Mitch Coomb's on face go, oh god, is it going to be a hot tongue? Last thing? You know, my dad does this. He's not an old man. I mean that he's sixty hours so I technically guess in sometimes in your era, Jenna, he would be considered dead.

Yeah he would.

Twenty years ago.

He constantly. And this is so funny because when I came out family from the Shire, there was a bit of there was a period where they had to sort of change some of their vocabulary. They were oh my dad said puffta like there's no tomorrow because the ex football player, and it was just in the vocab. He didn't mean any malice, but in it he probably didn't even know what was connotator as a gay man. He constantly and Mum would go, mah, you cannot say that

Jo.

He said it around you and you're loving gay boyfriend.

Yeah. So my sister said the F word very early on, and I said, you know how people use gay as like, oh, my computer's broken, that's gay gay in that connotation. She's you know, almost thirty, so it's a different thing anyway. It shouldn't be justifying it. He said that. He always says this. He goes, oh, I've had such a shitty day at workshell bellt what's wrong? And it's just Marissa. She's just so anal and it drives, which is hilarious. But then Mum will go, ma, not around Mitchell and Hayden.

You're listening to?

Is it just me the podcast that A bribes you for your please.

I Gay review time. If you leave us a five star review and five stars only and it gets read out on the show, you've got a week to get in contact with prize keeper Jenna, and we will send you out a season three commemorative mug which are very limited time only. I mean, Mitch, you and I were only on a FaceTime the other day discussing the summer merch line, which we can't say much about yet, but it's in the works, right, you can combine, Oh, it's.

Going to be happening. We were trying to come up with like the you know, the catchy phrase for it because we had merch March and then what do we land on again?

It?

Is it just T shirts? That could be any month?

Is it just T shirt? Is just T shirts?

Was great?

I know it was.

Is it just rash shirts?

That's what it was? Give up, it's rash shirts?

Sorry spoiler.

All right, you've got a week to get in touch with Jenna, Tiffany HUMPHREYZ. This is on Facebook, so if you don't listen on Apple Podcasts, you can jump over to our Facebook page. Couple of mitches. Give us five stars. Tiffany says, I love, love, love these boys, plus Jenna, contraceptive diaphragm, Sam Dott and Ida Buttrose, my god, the whole crew. Yeah, yeah, all the essentials. George conum Barus your content has the perfect balance of comedy and realistic

So yeah, like I've already established, Mitch, it's just so relatable.

Hands down, one of the best potties in ours. Keep up the epic work, you llegend. I beg your pardon, you bitch, Tiff regardless, give one yourself a mug.

Thanks Tiff.

Thanks.

Crystal Watkins left us review on Apple Podcasts, and she says best podcast. I don't listen to podcasts or radios at all. I hate listening to people talk online, but honestly can listen to you guys all day. Always nice, a little bit of a laugh and a cheering up.

Great job, guys, we've converted a Thanks Darlin.

Thanks Kristal with you all right? Should we regas like Jenna?

No, oh yes, we all know what this means, gas Lida. It means we're gonna mess with Jenna's mind a little bit. And the other day I saw something on the news about the fact that while the rest of Sydney is still in lockdown, not allowed to go out clubbing, not allowed to go to pubs. They were apparently going to be changing the rules when it came to weddings. So if you were getting married and you were fully vaxed, you could have a wedding with fifty people and you

Yeah, well, it's my birthday at the end of the month, so we have this genius idea. Let's roll the call. Hi Mitch, Hello, how are you?

I'm good?

How are you?

Are you at home? Are you still here? I don't even pop my head around.

I'm at home, I think.

Christ Can you send me the saxophone photos? The guy from the sax place wants to put them on his Instagram. So I said, yes, I'll send them to you. So can you text them to me and then I'll just I'll send them to Mike id to drop it back today and he was like, oh, do you want to keep the reeds? And there's no need for me to keep those, thanks, Mike.

What are you going to do with?

Yeah? I know I could make fake crillic wooden nails and look like a Barbie doll, and I gave them to him. I don't need them. Hey, well I've got you quickly. I wanted to ask you something. So, Hayden and I have been talking about getting married and whatnot and maybe you know, taking that step, but the whole COVID lockdown thing, like we're not quite ready and we want to make sure our whole families can come and make it a whole thing, so we don't want to

Yep.

So I was thinking, oh my god, all I need to do is find a friend that would just marry me, like legally marry me, and then I could have a party and just make it my birthday party disguised as a wedding. So I know this is really awkward, but I just wanted to know if you'd marry me. I know it's stupid, what we could get divorced. It would actually be good and you can come to the party and you can actually bring your family. You don't have to knock, even though it will be my birthday party.

Is this a joke?

No, no, it's just legit. In New South Wales you can have parties for weddings. So we could literally just get married. We can do it at like the town hall in the city. We don't even have to do anything official, and we just get divorced like years later, just.

So you can have a party.

It's my twenty sixth birthdays. I'm gonna have a birthday party. Dancing's allowed. I thought you'd be down. Yeah, I mean, will you marry me?

You deserve a party.

Oh it's just a piece of paper, so you will marry me?

Yeah?

Why not?

Okay, let's do it.

Oh my god.

Wow, the sacred wedding vows mean nothing to you, Jenna.

No, they don't.

Clearly, Jesus, the sanctity of marriage means nothing to our Jennebeve Benson or I'll talk to you later WiFi.

Okay, Jesus, Jenna, you are very easily persuaded. Pressure happening. No, jennas not happening.

We're not getting married. Okay, I'm a gay man.

Sadly, I thought that she was going to like panic and freak out.

Yeah, you were so willing to marry me?

Yeah, but you agon she was internally I reckon, she was internally freaking out. But she was just like I just say yes, little people please, there, aren't you Jenna?

Yeah?

Afterwards, I kept freaking out and thinking to myself and I couldn't go to sleep that night.

After ma, I've got to kiss that beast at the Aldar.

I didn't even think of that.

Oh God, I had a heart attack thinking of that.

Is it just me?

Podcast by a couple of mitches.

Now, if you were listening to the podcast last week, I brought a saxophone in studio and I was trying to get Mitch to prove whether he can still play the saxophone after learning it as a child. And this week it's my turn. I'm going to be trying to play the violin.

I actually have a grab of me playing. Last week we stuffed up there. Oh sleep over that?

Oh no, I can, I can. If anyone didn't hear it, I can tell you exactly what it sounded like.

I don't need.

Yeah, a bit more like that. And so anyway, I organized the saxophone for Mitch. I got this stunning alto from Sydney Band Instruments, and you were trying to organize a violin higher for me. But then I got a message saying you're gonna have to head to this person's house. He lives on top of a pub. And we've actually bought the violin off Facebook marketplace, so it's ours now, okay. So I'm like, right, sweet, okay, we own a.

Violin, and we negotiate down. We got it for almost half priced. Thank you very Did I haggle down? He was like, no, it's rare and vintage Mahogany. I'm my lowest offer is this.

Well, it's funny you mentioned half price because you asked me last week. Do I have to get a specific violin? And I said, no, they're all the same. Just make sure it's full size. This is half sized.

What's the fucking difference?

It's half the size.

Oh that a click.

It's like the difference between an iPod nano and an iPod shuffle. Look how small this thing is on me?

Oh it's a little fiddle.

No, it's also woefully out of tune, something you didn't have to deal with when it came to the saxophone. But I thought, you know what I can push through. I'll just cop the half sized violin. I'll just play even though it's a bit small. And then I opened the case and it turns out, Mitch that the violin you bought the bow has no horse hair on it. So, unfortunately, ladies and gentlemen, I will not be playing the violin for you today. There's no horse hair.

What is he supposed to pa? He said, horse hair in colder.

Yeah, thanks for this, Mitch. I now have a completely fucking useless violin on my hands. I own it.

Oh no, what am I supposed to do with this? Hold on? Did he tell you when you went to pick it up? What happened. Was he nice?

He was actually lovely, to be honest, but he is not a violinist himself. He said that it was just given to him, and he's like, what am I going to do with it? Because when I opened it. When I opened the case, I was like, there's no horse hair on that bow and he goes, what does that mean? I was like, you know the hair that you know goes alongside the strings to actually make the note happen. This is what it sounds like about the horse hair.

I can dub something in don't worry me. Oh, literally is such a.

And then he said to me, no, no, there is horse hair, and he hold on opens up one of the little slots and he goes, here you go. I was like, no, that's a spare stream for the violin. No, no, no, And he goes, well, I don't know what to do about that. And I was like, well, the deal's been done, so thanks, have a nice day.

Well he's the description. It says violin for sale ninety dollars or nearest offer like new working order, pick up newtown like new Yeah, it's.

No horse hair that working order.

Is it actual horse hair or is that like a phrase.

No, it's actually a horse's taiale, like that's what they put on the violin bow to make it work. My concern that there'd be no rosin sorry, and I wouldn't be able to That's like the oil that you put on the horse hair. But I was like, Okay, if there's no rosin, I can deal. But no much bigger isha here, no horse here? I need the horse hair.

Sam, can you run down of the kiss paddock and just took some horses for us?

Oh?

I'm so sorry, Mitchell, I asked him if everything was included, I can send you the transcript of my aggling.

Yeah, isn't it just like classic Mitch Churry? Luck though I got you the most gorgeous alto Saxophone, brand new for sale, they just let you borrow it? And then what do I get a half size horse hairless piece of shit violin that I can't even play?

Did you put some fishing wire on it?

Where am I going to get fucking fishing?

No?

What are we going to do with this violin? I'm now stuck with it. I'm moving house soon. I can't be lugging crap that I don't need. And also much bigger picture issue. Here are you going to get me an actual violin to play next week?

God?

Not what?

I just get what I'm given.

We can't have the funds to buy two violins in a fortunight.

Don't buy it.

I didn't spend a cent on your saxophone.

Hey give it to me. I'll be able to double the price. A great seller on Marketplace at five stars.

You can't scam someone.

What if we get a listener who is a violinist to perform our intro on violin.

And as a reward for that, they get this completely useless violin.

Yes, they get bare bones beginner's violin.

I don't know if you understand how competitions work, like there needs to be an incentives.

It'll be you can write it up. Win a free age of violin, horse haird on a good Well.

This has been great, Jennet. I was so looking forward to showing off my skills.

Okay, here's my commitment. I will get another violin for next time.

Why don't you just get the string?

Oh yeah, why don't we just get a horse hair?

Mitchell, a horse hair?

Just one listening to this in your own horses?

Please, you're going to have to get a new bow or ideally a violin that I can actually use that's the right size. I played half size violin when I was ten.

I'm on marketplace now a Chester horse tail seventy dollars. I've just messaged, Oh if you tell them what you spent on the violin, is that just a horse hair? Yeah, it's a horse's tail that's been cut off.

What are you going to do to attach it to the bow. It needs to be real tight. Just get me a working violin, so fucking around.

All right, I'll get you another violin. Thanks.

All right.

We also don't have to timeframe to next week. It'll you'll get a violin by the end of the season.

Oh god, you're just trying to make your life easier. People are going to get really over this arc now when it's been a month since we've done Part two.

Good things come to those who wait. Yeah, Oh, I just found one eighty dollars that's in our budget.

No, you're not buying one. I might have to keep saying this.

Because it's the same price as a higher and I just can't efic spend the same money for a once off when you could get a full working violin.

Well, I'll tell you what that logic looks like, Mitchell. It looks like this. I've got a pizza shit violin with no horse hair, and it's half the size. It's useless. So just hire a one or borrow one like I did. Yeah, okay, I'll put you back on probation, Dylan, don't you worry.

I'm very sorry, Mitchell. But to be fair, that that snake oil salesman that lives above the pub swindled me.

That's happened to you, wouldn't it. Yeah, all right, guys, thanks for joining us for what has been the worst episode of Is it just me in History? Brill We appreciate your company. What do you mean it was brilliant?

It was a great bit.

I a thoroughly enjoyed. I've had a great time.

I hated it.

Okay, where are my notes? Where are my notes? Mitch thought that having a show and introducing guests with somehow relatable to the broader public. My Violin's fucked. Jenna agreed to get married instead of freaking out like we wanted her to. Is there anything else anyone wants to add?

No, Sam may think from you it's fail after fail.

We didn't find out whether the kabab was really the kebab.

Yeah, that was bullshit too. Yeah, this sucks.

The whole show has been bullshit.

You're just like Jenner. I've persuaded you really quick.

There. I had a I was about to say. But even on our most bullshit day, we are better than the best show in the world. At al Lowis, we're at our highest. That's all I want you to remember. We end the episode, we really are a team and a family.

Look at Sam's face, He's like, what the fuck is this going to get on about?

All Right, guys, let's go, but please leave us a review five stars or four for this week's podcast. We really will accept either. Listen next week. It'll be great for episode eighty five.

Hey. By the way, exciting news for anyone who was a fan of Nat Penfold. He's been a guest on our pod cast many times. If you tune into Kiss one O six five, she'll be joining our mate Mitch over there every morning for breakfast, filling in for Kyle and Jackie. So if you've got the iHeartRadio app, tune in this morning on Kiss.

Yes, So I'm leaving the night show for a week and I'm taking over for Kyle and Jackie O. We're doing Spring Breakfast and I'm hosting it. That's coming on. It's going to be very exciting about it. Do you like her for that week? I will?

Yeah, I don't like it.

You guys have you guys have history. There's some history. Why don't we have her on the show next week because she'll be in the studio with me?

No, maybe not.

We could get her. She will be here already in the daytime.

Actually, can you call her right now and I'll ask her to what's that bloody segment? I'm done, afraid it's fine the opener. You gotta hustle, Yes, what the fuck you read my mind? You've got to hustle because I figure if she's on Kiss, she should plug our podcast if she can. I know you won't do it because you're gutless.

Now I'm not doing it. This is my big break. Give me miss Come on, baby, you know you got a hut.

Right. It's the unconventional ways to get our name out there. You know, we've done studio tan appearance as the local paper write ups, and now I reckon Natalie Shorley can just be like, how fucking good? Is is it just me? The podcast?

Oh?

No, I'm not doing that. No, she can't say that, why because they know that it's my podcast, and then I'll get called into meeting after meeting, and too many meeting.

Get her in trouble.

No, no, no, no, she's going to pull you into meetings the meeting cause you know, are they that unsupportive of your podcast? No, but I'm there promoting my radio career. Now go why are you promoting your She can say, why don't we get her to say? Is it just me?

You all right?

You know, I'm just sorry severe indigestion. Why don't we get her to slip is it just me? Yeah?

That was my idea. Don't pretend that was fucking your idea.

If she said, oh, is it just me? Or is it a nice day outside, that's fine. But if she goes, oh is it just me the podcast, it's too obvious.

No, Well, she can put is it just me in podcasts in the same sentence. Surely is it just me?

Or a podcast fun to listen to?

Yeah?

There you go, nailed it, Jenna. Why don't you get her on Bloody Spring Breakfast?

Didn't getting close. All right, well, should we call and see she'll do it.

I'd rather not do it, but if you want to, we don't have to. I don't like her.

Maybe we're not vibing this idea. This is chasing dreadful. Let's abandon that idea too. Let's have them all fall flat on their face.

She'll be accent.

I just don't like her, that's all.

Yeah, and we go on, bloody caller. Surely one thing can come to fruitionally.

Today calling that benf Yeah, Hi, Nat, it's mit you mentioned Jenny. Ah.

Is that how you answer all numbers that are no caller idea?

Yeah?

No?

Have you been getting all those weird texts that I like?

Yesh, Yeah, this is a job offer we've got for you and stuff. I get so many of them that that's how I chose.

To because I was expecting to be told that I was being extra guided to Germany.

Overly, I wish that was happening.

I get your delivery. Are stuck at the factory? Please press this button? All right?

Yeah, it's like it's been seized by the Australian Federal Police.

What's going on in the background now? It's my nephew and my dad's got him a cardboard box.

Oh god, it's good to him.

Now Mitchell has a Mitchell has a question for you or a challenge?

Yes, well, firstly, Natchuk is on the Big Gig next week. It's a shame you've got the world's she's co host along your side on Kiss. But I did have an idea here when you're on there with Mitch, try and plug our podcast. I mean you've been here before, you've been a guest host when we've done. You've got a hustle right, Oh.

Yes, and you've got Mitchen like his school newsletter or something. No, I did that. He failed. He didn't get it done. I got it in his, but he couldn't get in mine. Well, still talking about the newspaper here, and.

I'm thinking, while you're on air on kids, you can just say is it just me and podcasts in the same sentence, like, don't make it too obvious with the is it just me the podcast, but just like in the same sentence or the same story, you've got a.

Direct credit line for the podcast.

Oh wow, Nat, Nat, I feel that you're a gutsy woman. If you want to do a direct credit line, please do that. Mitch, on the other hand, has no spine.

No, if you ever want to work on the Australia's biggest radio station again, you won't say it's just me the podcast just a.

Bit of Are we that much of a disgrace?

Yeah?

Oh, thanks for your support.

I think I could drop the is it just me? But is it just me? The podcast?

Find it on my heart radio or whatever you podcast?

I agree, Let's find a nice let's find a nice way to inject is it just me? That's a good that's a good hussle because subliminally it'll still get people to listen exactly right.

All right, I'll give you a handshake via the phone. I'll do that.

Is it just me?

It's confirmed and podcast in the same sentence.

I didn't agree to that, partner.

No, no, no, go on?

Bonus points?

Nat?

Okay, and what do I get if I do it?

Nothing?

A date with Jenna.

I'm not doing it.

I'm all right, Nat. One more thing, sorry tunnel she's gone. Oh good, all right, let's go go out of here. The Curse Show. That was episode eighty four. Jesus Christ on a bike. We'll be back next week. Thank you guys. Leave us a review five stars and if it gets right out on the show, you and your sell a mug. I'll see you guys next week.

Catch it then byeye Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

At welcome to add brief this is our secret segment. On the end, you guys say the rest. I'm getting another fucking wine.

He says, like the afterparty. And you know what, sometimes it's great and sometimes it's terrible.

And most times it's horrendous.

He's in a mood today. I'm it's Jack in the studio, everyone, Jack And what's a cardboard cutout of the of the keybab.

Also known as Jack jack Vision.

Allegedly, they said, because Jackie O, who works at the station, is host of the show, a judge on the show, we get sent all the cardboard cutouts of the characters.

It's kind of terrifying.

Not gonna lie, it's not Jack's best look. I must say no, I'm back.

Oh, thank god, Hello, Sam has the By the way, I was wearing my airports the whole time I heard you say, oh, he's in a mood.

I didn't even remember that.

I can't believe that that violin doesn't have the horsetail.

Oddly enough, I believe it. You shouldn't have of course he got me a dud.

You shouldn't have paid him, should have just said no, this is unusable.

The deal was done.

If he says it's in working order, then you'd expect to use it.

That's right, that's what he said.

Actually, there is a photo of the violin, and because I just remember, you sent me at screenshot and you can see quite clearly that there's no horse hair. But you were like, yeah, bargain, I'll get that.

But I don't know what a working violin looks like. I thought maybe they'd keep the horse hair I don't know, in a separate little package.

He also did not clarify that it was a half size, So you know what, I'm on your side. We were scammed.

That's true. That is very true.

We were scammed. The case looks nice, though, good quality.

No, not really, I'm leaving him. It's nothing flash at all.

I thought I might look up some fun facts about horse hair and violin boat right, please. Number one is that most horsehair is harvested from the slaughterhouse, so it's not.

That's good. It's not like they kill them for their tails like they already get anyway.

I thought they just cut it off like a haircut.

Oh that's what you can buy a marketplace, that one straight tail for seventy bucks.

Why are the horses at the Abatar.

Dog food in Yeah, my my old primary school, not bogan Gate Public, Bloody Saint Lawrences and forbes O shithole was right next door to the fucking dog food factory and so every morning we would get the waft of dead horse.

It's the worst smell in the world, disgusting.

There's a lot of meat and horse.

One time my dad said to me, hey, mate, can you come up the paddock and need your help with something? And I was like, yeah, I got He pulls up next to the dam and he goes, yeah, so one of the horses has died. Here's a rope. Can you go into the dam where the horse was floating. I don't know what happened. I don't know why they got

Like it was.

It had like moss and shit floating on the surface. It was all slimy and revolting. And also there's a dead horse that's been stewing in that water for quite some time. I was like, there's no fucking way I'm doing that, and so I won that argument. My brother had to do it. And it was weird because my brother was sort of determined to be like, Oh, I'm so much more manly than him. Yeah, I'll do it, And I was like, who's the real winner here? Yeah,

Because that's fucked You've got to hoof on your wrists inside dancing to Gaga.

Yeah.

My sister was the name. She was always determined to be like, Oh, I'm going to prove to dad that just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't do sheep work. So she'd be in the yards fucking picking them up, getting scratches all up her arms because the sheep are coming in birds. I'd be sitting there just like doing my nails like fucking who's the real winner here?

Yeah, m good point. My family were terrified of all that stuff. We had about six budgies that died, Like I said, one got struck by lightning, ironically lucky, and we would have a ceremony for it every time, and we'd wrap it in toilet paper and we'd bury it in the backyard under our mango tree. And it got to a point where the mango trees, the mango started to taste quite sound. And I was probably lucky the third and fourth and fear. But we would have a

You and your family would not cope on the farm.

Match.

Let me tell you, God, no, I've told that bogging story.

We almost ruined a fake farm life family looking at the horses, let alone living on one.

Can I read you a message that I got from Mom the other day, and this is just a scenario that would never happen in the city, Mum says, I am shattered today watched your father nearly get killed. Graham's ute. Graham is Dad's brother, My uncle Graham's ute died up the paddock, so we went up there to help. Dad got under the ute to have a look what was wrong, but the ute was still going and somehow started rolling.

Oh my god.

Graham tried to stop it, but he fell over. So Dad was under the ute getting dragged along the ground for about twenty meters. Now this is where I have questions. Graham fell over and that was just the end of it. Graham's like, well, I'm down now, I can't possibly get up. I'm here now.

Twenty meters is quite a way.

But with Graham and then what was the fall, Like, what happened?

A trip?

I'm assuming yeah, it's tripped over because he was running to the drive seat trying to stop the ute and just fell over. And again goes, well, I'm down here now, I'm like a tortoise on my back. No way I can get up and keep trying to save my brother's life. Nah, down now, I might have a little snooze, fair enough, And then the message says, thankfully Marcus was able to get the ute and stop it. Dad came out covered

That's horrific? Was your dad's fine?

Yeah, it's fine. It's like we've said before, our fight or flight is tested in moments like that. I reckon I would have been fine.

Yeah, that doesn't happen with my family. My family had terrible in high stress situations, really bad. I remember once we came back from the Easter Show and we pulled him the driveway and the front door was open, and Mama ran into the garage and got the baseball bat and lined all the kids up behind her.

You're in there, get out, And what does she think was happening?

Thought there was a rapist home intruder working through the corridor. And they left the door at four point thirty. It was like daylight Savings. It was the middle of the day, and yet out of that and then my grandfather turns the corner and she goes to hit him in the head and he just went, Oh, I'm just coming back to get my fucking bike. She almost killed my grandfather because she thought we were robbed. Noah, and I had to run back to the car and get my gag Magic bag.

That's a great bag, great bag, very different lives, very for sure.

Gag Magic loved it. Mitch. Would you settle down on a farm?

Oh no, not when we're at to do work, Like I might, you know, get like an acre or something where I can just kind of have space and then maybe, you know, if I had an actual farm, lias it out to people that are actually going to use it. But like, I wouldn't want to work on a farm. I can't think of anything worse. Yeah, working on Alby farm, you know.

Yeah, an airb and bee farm would be nice for a weekend, wouldn't it lovely? Gorgeous? So sweet.

I was actually looking at Airbnb's with my friends. We're going to do a trip to Blue Mountains or Mudgy or something right before lockdown. And so I don't need to tell you the end of the story.

Oh, I was involved because I'm a friend so I was involved.

No, you, neither of you were invited.

I was, though, so you can all go for yourself.

Was going, yeah that Sam.

Was actually there when we were looking at the airbnb's Oh that was the day that he couldn't find my apartment.

Story earlier on.

You're both invited, but you never show up.

So yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, makes plenty of sense.

We've known, you know, we were saying the other day, We've noticed that every time Jenna is trying to get out of something, her excuses are always horrific. But she's always it's true, but then by Monday you're fine. Yes, It's like every time we ask her to hang out on a Friday night or a Saturday night, she's like, I've been hit by a bus and I can cast my skulls broken in three places, so I might not be able to make it. Sorry, and then come Monday, miraculous recovery.

It's always true, interesting, Jenna, it is, it really is. It's always, honestly is true. The vaccine has thrown me for six.

Oh it did. I was I was unwell very and this this particular invite I didn't even have. She didn't have to go anywhere with my bloody zoom Trivia.

Yes, I know, because I went to sleep at six pm.

I forget you missed the zoom trivia.

Yes, I was like control, I'll delete every gener related question.

Yeah, you all the general lated questions were gone.

Yeah, a cute invite for that to zoom trivia. By the way, guys, oh, I.

Think you'll find that you didn't respond to me on Facebook.

I think you'll find that you didn't message me.

No, I didn't message you. I invited you on Facebook. There's a lot of tension in the air today.

Guys. I'm fine.

No, everything's good now.

Did I not invite Sam? I'm sure I would have, But then I also did delete everyone that was on the day of. I deleted everyone that had an RSVP'd yes to my zoom trivia. So maybe you won't be there. I swear I would have invited you. I just thought this was my rationale or when it came to deciding who do I invite to zoom Trivia, because you know, there's all these acquaintances I could have invited, But then I thought, have they been to my house? If yes,

Hat's all good, A great time anyway. I get my second one on Saturday, so.

Oh great, Who cares? Where's the tension come from? Us having a great episode.

To be fully vaccinate?

It's exciting in a great mood.

Yeah, well, you're not stuck with a bloody dodgy violin, are you?

Yeah? True?

Put it back on marketplace and sign it, Mitchell, kuz I can't.

I can't morally do that sell someone a dud product. Even though I produce this podcast.

I think this is a great episode. People love people love seeing the loose hands of a show. We're too polished.

We have several issues happening, but being too polished is not one of them.

No, not today, I can assure you with that.

No, I'm talking in general, but that's why. That's the way I like it.

Oh. I definitely less polish than when we began. Like we started as a brand new merceities. Now we're a two year old with some scuffs, but we like them because it builds character. I like that.

Hey, do you remember last week we were listening to that Gaga remix?

Yeah?

Signed from above yeah, and we said, I.

Wonder if someone out there can do a really cooked remix of our show Open one. We did, God, yeah we did.

Oh my god.

So our brand new Facebook moderator Calum, who apparently is a man of many skills. He's also like an audio producer I don't know, and he sent this one through. So maybe this will be a note to end on because I want to get the fuck out of this ship hole. O.

Well, you're in your house?

So how I meant this ship holder is in episode four?

Oh yeah, sorry?

Yeah, absolutely absolutely so.

Do you want to hear this ship show of an opener?

Calum cancel?

Go for it?

And people do some television legend carry Kennley so several meters from a trapeze while performing the musical Pippot Pip.

Some things make more sense than other ring pikes, gurseries, ur pikes.

Why why.

Kelly for the root shot of young adulthood?

Why is being your life so expensive? Your life so expensive? Why's being alife so expensive?

I'm not even having a good This is.

Just a couple of minches. Now here's Mitch, Julie and Mitchell.

Who there we go?

Oh wow, my god, isn't that great?

I actually don't mind this part of the rest of it was cooked, but this bit that backing track.

It's a bit clown. It's like being nice for season four.

Oh that that's a much bigger discussion. I quite like it, though.

I feel like an auntie and uncle when, like your nephew shows you what they've been working and you have to go, oh what that was lovely love? Oh I really enjoyed.

Then you did that?

Oh well, I did well. We did say on the podcast, make it as shit of a remix as possible, so I think it's fine if we don't compliment Callum's work. It does take a certain skill to make something shit on purpose, right, Sam?

Completely agree?

Very true?

That was shit and I love it. I'm impressed and a good note.

We've had this conversation before Sam and I where it's like, when you're trying to make something look shit, it's actually harder. You're like, oh my god, it looks too good.

True, that's what I did this episode.

Yeah.

I just want everyone to know that it was an active choice, just like Mitchell just confirmed. All right, thanks for listening to Hero one eighty four will now be noticed. The Curst episode.

Anyway, we hope, by some miracle from above, this podcast managed to make you feel at least two percent better today. I doubt it, but you know that's our target.

I doubt it too. I think it was three today, were like three or four? I doubt it. No, two, we're of a six percent of today. Baby, we could make you feel better. Don't forget leader.

Look at you being glass half for for once, it's nice to say.

Oh God, I love I love a full glass of anything.

What do you see here? I'm gonna hold up my wine? Do I need to chop up?

I see a drinking problem? Hey, all right, guys, we love you. Stay safe, look after yourselves. I get vexed and we will see you next week.

Catch you soon.

Bye bye.

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of meches.

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