#82: Mitch & Mitch FanFic 👀

People do some weird shit. Television legend Carrie Ane Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pivot. Comments make more sense than others.

Bring pikes, nurseries, nursery pikes, p y k e s Hey, why I hey?

As in kill hey?

Why?

Okay?

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults food.

Why is your life so expensive? I'm not even having a good chime.

This is.

Just a couple of mitches about me.

Don't forget.

No, he is maturely and episode if someone saying, who who's that? Oh?

It's Jenna High our third wheel is here.

Hello, okay Jenna?

Now Jenna, can I ask, yes, are you okay?

You know it's been it's been a bit tough lately, but you know I'm doing I'm coping.

Good, Jenna, Thank you for asking.

It's are you okay? Day? This week? Guys, don't forget to check in on your loved ones. How unfortunate that that's fallen during a lockdown on Thursday? I think it's Thursday. Isn't it Google that Jenna? Isn't it unfortunate that on Thursday when everyone says are you okay? You'll just hear this communal not across Australia.

Yeah, that's we're in lockdown.

I wonder if they had a meeting to reschedule it. They're like, can we just bump it this year because the answer will be an overwhelming no.

It's Thursday day?

What day?

Ninth night?

So yeah, what's the premise of it?

You were just meant to ask a family member or a loved one are you okay?

Yes? Because a conversation can save a life. They say, you never know what people are bottling up. You know, do you have to.

Spell it the way that they spell it?

Or are you allowed to fully, like grammatically correctly spell it?

I mean you don't even have to use those words. You can say you're right, darling.

And I think this year they're really emphasizing the fact that are you really okay? So instead of just being like, are you okay? Oh yep, yeah, I'm fine, No, are you really okay?

In ten years it'll be fucking tell me.

That was my cue, Jenna, are you really okay?

Oh?

Thank you? Like I said, it's hard, but I'm getting there.

Great. It is tough, isn't it. I think everyone's feeling like that at the moment.

Even my mum and dad mentioned mental health on the phone the other day to me, and I'm.

Like, oh my god, I mean they're in there. My dad just turned sixty, my mom's fifty five.

Like mental health isn't something that they register as an actual problem, and for them to bring it up, I mean, it's hitting the boomers, guys.

I know my mom's the same because historically I am quite alone, and so she actually doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm coping. Okay, This lockdown like last lockdown by comparison, I feel like I've got my head screwed on pretty well. I'm coping right, Don't get me wrong. I'd love to smash a fucking schnitty and a schooner at the pub with me mates right now. But I'm okay, you know what I'm saying. And she's like, are you sure? Oh,

Just assuming you to be nuts. I feel okay. I'm a bit sad that my birthday is a month away and I'm last year I had the lockdown limit. You guys, were there, we could have ten people over.

It was nice.

So I had a birthday thing last year, I guess, but it wasn't like I wanted to do it at my family home in the Shire, and this year I'll be able to do nothing. Although the new picnic law will be out. It's like Paddington Bear's fucking run out of the country.

Rule in place. Honey pots allowed.

No Bear, It's not like a picnic is much of a character dangle anyway, Like oh, yeah, I'm going to rush off and get the jab so I can have a picnic with five mates, Like come on, yeah, what's he fully jabbed? I know, I want to be fucked off, my face blacked out on the puff to a bathroom floor, you know what I'm saying. I feel like that's a fair reward.

If God has perogically and offered everyone a double black per jab that they got, there were lines down the street.

A pack of jab in the arm, Ciggy's in hand, he's a big lighter.

We'd get to the seventy percent target.

Anyway, I just realized I'm going to have to beep out what you just said. You're not supposed to mention cigarette brands. Like you can say cigarettes, but you can't say their brand name. Is that right, Sam, Sam's here.

Yeah, that's the second time I've done that. I did that the Sophie Monk.

Interview as well.

Remember, Yeah, it's just because it's funnier when you say brands. It is a pack of cigarettes, but it's so much funnier when the audience member can picture the exact thing that I'm talking about. I just need to do that for things that want There.

Is something funny about mentioning brand names, Like instead of saying, oh, open the screen door, you say, oh, just knock on the crimsnafe.

Yeah, one hundred percent.

But you can't do that with darts unfortunately.

No.

I slipped over on some cereal in the in the in n Aisle three at col No. But I've slipt over on a bag of open mini.

Weeks in three. It's hilarious, hilarious.

Because you can picture the shredded wheat everywhere everywhere.

A Granny Smith a day keeps the doctor away.

That's exactly right.

I choked on a rainbow paddle pop.

Stick Jenna again. Now we're gonna have to ask if you're okay again. That comment.

Anyway, Jenna, you are very excited for this as am I as a you, Mitchell, because today we conclude the first annual Moderates of Games, which is an initiative brought on by Ijim HR. As you know, our company has expanded and our HR team said, let's include the fans of the Facebook group. So this is what we've done. We've opened it up. We have two listeners in during Idiots coming on the show, Callum and it's Hannah, isn't

Yeah.

I mean this is a part two guys, So if you didn't listen to episode eighty one, you're going to have to do so. Another thing that happened last week is we were talking about fan Fix and we challenged people listening to write in fan fiction about us, which is basically just like Mitch and Mitch erotica. Yeah, and I've got something. I'll play it to you later. Okay, hope it's not an erection. No God, no good. I'm horrified to think what it will say.

I've got something hidden off camera and it's along. We'll do it later.

Now before we get into our is it just Me's for the week? As you know, we bring one each. I want to double check, Mitch that you have not doubled up on is it just Me's again? No, because one about Darling listeners pointed out that last week when you were banging on about trolleys, that was not the first time you'd done so. You'd reused an old engen.

And the weird thing about that was because I found out midweek that happened to I got so many fucking messages you're all narks. You could have let it slip by, you know how Mitchell loved to pay attention to those things.

You could have let me have it, but no.

But I didn't know it. Isn't that weird. I just have no recollection of you ever doing an I gym about trolley's, probably because it was so unremarkable and yet you felt the need to bring it up again. Anyway, if anyone missed it, this was last week Mitch banging on about trolleys.

Are the baby shopping trolleys better than the full adult shopping trolls.

Absolutely, they've got a flag.

No, not the baby ones. They've got like the medium sized mid TI trolley.

So that was last week, and if you rewind to episode sixty six, it's basically a copy and paste job. Listen to this, just me, half trolley's better than full trolleys.

Yep, yep, yepes.

I passed my driver's test with flying colors, and yet I cannot maneuver those motherfuckers. The big trolleys are so difficult.

You want to know.

The sad thing though, that it wasn't even me scrolling up in my gym notes and rereading it again.

I've had this thought all over again. I get idiot.

Yeah, I just thought that you didn't delete it out of your notes. But this was that was the most interesting thing that happened to you that week, Okay, thought, Yeah, you haven't got more trolley chat for this week's Jim.

Do you? I could go on it for days.

Oh my god, our Facebook group is full of troy to.

Say the amount of trolley picks I've been sent? What's my wallpaper? I'm not joking anyway. That's all I've gone on trolley's I have no more. Welcome to the show. It was your first time listening.

We bring an edgym each week, apparently sometimes recycled something we've noticed, something we hate to appreciate.

It's an Is it just me? Mitch brings one? I bring one?

Yeah? Why do you kick things off? Dylan? What do you got this week?

Here we go? Is it just me? Do you miss traveling?

No? Do you know what the thought of going on a flight now makes you feel so coastrophobic?

Jenna?

Do you remember when we went on your floody contiguy trip, that fucking twenty three hour flight to London. Oh, Like, I like.

The concept of traveling that doesn't include the aeroplane, and like actually getting that, Like I would love to go back to New York. Yeah, but that plane trip just so.

The flight to America is a breeze compared to the flight to Europe.

Like, no things, And then get.

On again, going to do the stop over, and it's, oh, yeah, I don't mind it.

I don't mind it. I don't I miss that.

I Like I would give anything to be on a plane for eighteen hours.

Oh, I love a plane.

Three eighty. Oh my god, I adore it.

I am the type of person that will download bestseat map dot com and I will find the best seat and I will pick that seat on the plane. And then as I'm walking down with Hayden, I go, that's twenty four seat that you originally had. But see, the leg room is three millimeters crammed from the lorry tray above the head. Then you've got the lavatory to the right, so you'll have a stink you know it.

Sleep. But we're in twelve B and C. I have done all the research.

So what's your idea of a good plane seat? Because I'm always torn. Do I get the window seat for.

The view yeah?

Or do I get the aisle seat so that I don't have to crawl over some fat thing who's half asleep on the way to Europe?

Mitchell, we didn't go to Europe together. There's still include me in that story.

No, But isn't that the worst When you need to go to the bathroom and you're like, I don't want to wake this bitch who has reclined right next to me, But I'm loving the view out the window.

Nothing worse than the cunt, Yeah, I said it in front of you before the plane takes off, that reclimb their seat eight away. I know you're about to get meal service. Put your iPad on the little tray in front, and it like crushes your front. Anyway, it's different for me than it is to you. I'm assuming, Mitch because I'm six foot three and I'm a thicker ball. So I always go the aisle because I can chuck my right leg out, like my right leg.

Can go into nile.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Anyway.

The reason I say this is because I've made a discovery. Yeah, that has changed the way I operate during the day. So this is a website called drive and listen this. My mouse isn't working.

No, oh, you're trying to bring up the website, Sam, have you got access to the mouse. Mitch is just failing today. He's not in a good mood. Everyone. I need to give you a heads up. FU fuck, I said to Mitch before we started the show. I think you should be honest and tell everyone that you're in a foul mood because it's a nice point of difference. Usually I'm a piece of shit and you're the nice one. But we can switch it's fine.

Ah, my cousin's calling me.

Fuck off cousin.

Oh wait, I'm the nice one today. Oh just tell him you'll call that later.

Why is Anna calling me? Hello, Darling? Sorry, I know you're at work.

Just write it all in one message.

Put addr on.

All right, let's call it put on.

I don't know what's so fucking urgent?

Hello, Darning.

Hi, I'm recording the podcast.

I'm so sorry.

I'm just messaging you. Don't worry. It's non urgent.

I'll text you. You're called and then your text.

I thought, you know, is he related to Hermione Granger?

I think so?

No, No, no, all good, keep recording.

I'll message you and just get back.

Three.

Is it about Saturday night? Will you be there?

Wants to know what Saturday night?

I send you the text? I didn't family Trivia night?

I have.

Bullshit. Chewy is in it as well?

Really?

Yeah?

Yeah, Mitchell, Anna's a big fan of you.

Can we do this another time?

Yeah?

Bye? Anna? I love you, Darlan, No, not with you.

I'm yelling at Mitchell.

We can't know you can do the podcast.

Bye?

All right?

Sorry, tunnel, sorry, tunnel, Jesus fucking Christ.

I didn't know that you had pommy relative to something new every week.

No, she's dating my actual cousin's best friend, Chewye, who's Asian.

And you invite her to fan trivia.

Jesus, Wait, so she's not actually your cousin to call anyway.

Wake the website up.

The website's up. Can you hear that? Mitchell?

Yeah?

What is that your cousin?

So that's that's Radio Pakistan. The website is called Drive and Listen and it is a live feed of someone driving in every major capital city what webcam on their on their dash and then it tunes into their local radio station. So give me a city, Mitch, you want to travel to a big capital?

Oh my god? Hold on? What's the website again?

Drive and Listen?

So are you eavesdropping on them or just their radio station?

Just their local radio station.

Oh that's less exciting. I thought we're gonna hear people bitching in an uber.

Jennet, come over here, and I'm not gonna.

Lie from one radio nerd to another. I do enjoy browsing International Radio Fiji has some fucking great.

Stations, Mitchell, where do you want to go to? I?

Hang on, I just found it. It's not driving listen dot com, it's drive and listen dot hero kuapp dot com.

Look at Havana Mumbai. Yep, Havanah, let's do Havana Havana. No, not here, we go tuning in, tuning in, so Jenna and I are sitting here watching ari Em rob drive through the main streets of Cuba. Let's all just zone out for a second and pretend we're listening to Cuban radio.

This is you can actually see him?

Yeah, I can. We can see the view of his car.

Oh, now I get it. So you're listening to the radio, but the webcam is so you can see. Wow, that is fascinating.

Yes, it looks like you're driving. Ready, let's zone out or in Havana, Jenna renov. Oh, look at that man being mugged on the side of the road.

Oh God, that man's crossing Issuan. He almost got hit by a bus.

This is brilliant.

You know what that is actually in credible because when I was living at home in the country and I wanted desperately to live in Sydney, I remember distinctly googling trying to find some sort of live feed of Sydney so that I could feel that I was there in the flesh, and the only thing I could find was the New South Wales traffic cameras. I was just watching people on the M four so that I could feel close to me. This is amazing.

Let's go to Melbourne. See if they pick up kiss one on one one.

Yeah.

Oh that's the truck audio. This is him actually driving.

Imagine if he can here at we just buzz in can mate?

Oh my god, it's SBS radio.

Is this like an uber situation where like could I sign up as a webcam driver in Sydney? Like they can just watch my astro put under my apartment in lockdown.

I don't know how it works, but Erkham is the creator. He says, I'm creating a site to drive through cities while you listen to their local radio stations, and everyone in the comments are saying thank you.

Perhaps you'll be rolling up to the drive. Fox FM is kicked in voltswg Oh.

The competition is homemakeover.

We're going to Paris now, Mitchell Oh.

Love it?

Chantey France is loading hold on apology?

Have you pressed simple play Wi The most Australian accent possible Oh.

That's the French.

Here we go croissant bagguet. I can speak French.

To leave a rat. Oh wow, all right.

We'll end in Mumbai, where we've got Red Hot Hindi Radio.

Beautiful South Mumbai, Jenna.

Look at the the weather like in South Mumbai, Jenna. Could you find out.

Google the weather Jenna and Mumbai here you can use this. That's fine. Now Mitchell, his live Google Maps account is coming up. It's so cool.

Oh so you could assassinate him if you want to know.

I know exactly where the bastard is. He's got a thirty.

Two twenty nine degrees lovely.

Oh this is Selena Gomes, his latest b I love it anyway.

The point is Hayden and nine have been choosing a new city every morning, and after watching the eleven AM presser, we get the COVID cases and we're depressed.

We then plug in drive and listen.

And yesterday we're in Dunedin and we were listening to local plun Dunedin.

What is it?

Dunedin sounds like it's near Dubbo. That's nothing flash.

Sorry, that's Mayra.

Anyone, guys, drive and listen, get around it, enjoy it.

I'm all about it. Good ja, Mitch, you're straight away from trolley here.

Yeah, I know, Liza, I'll be doing the same. I'll be doing this you again in about thirteen weeks.

It was even picks up. All right, let's move on. Is it just me?

It's the fizzy drink guy on TikTok not the same anymore?

Oh oh, I know.

This is the guy that tried to wean off fizzy drink and he said, what day three of not drinking fizzy drink?

Yes. So his name's row Hit and he's done remarkably well. He quit fizzy drink. He kept everyone up to date with his progress on TikTok. He even got a weight watcher's sponsorship, and he's looking great. He's definitely lost weight. He's been off fizzy drink for a long time. But I've just noticed that he's changed his inflection because he starts his videos the exact same way every time. We all know this, ra you've heard this.

Hello, every more phizzy drink for me today?

Today I have completed right good to him? Yeah of course, yeah that was viral.

And I just get such a big smile on my face every day when I see fizzy drinks for me today, and now he's changed his inflection. Listen to this. All his new videos say this.

Hello everyone, no phizzy drink for me today.

Why does he have a stroke after saying the word fizzy?

Oh yeah, no phizzy drink from me today.

It used to be no fizzy drink for me today, but now it's no fizzy drink for me today.

Maybe it's the lack of sugar and carbonation that's Maybe he needs the caffeine and sugar to stop.

It sounds like he's breaking.

Down, but I hate it.

It's like someone's trying to media train him. I'll just really be clear with your words. And now he's saying.

This, Hello everyone, no phizzy drink for me today.

I don't like the new inflection.

Wait, play the first one. Play the first one again.

This is the og, the one that we all came to know and loved.

Hello, every more, phizzy drink for me today?

Right?

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah I get you.

But now it's.

Hello everyone, no phizzy drink for me today?

Now why the pause after fizzy?

I hate I hate it when brands do that. Imagine if next week we just came back with is it just me, that's not how it works, babe.

Sorry I missed your call. I've just been really busy with work.

Episode eighty two, Welcome to His just me.

Like, no, oh, babe, babe, how was your day at Luna Park? Oh my god, it was so much fun. But I got really dizzy on the mouse Trap.

What's that show on Disney Channel that you like?

Oh, that's the reboot of Lizzy Maguire.

That's a good show.

You're right, Poor row Hit, Poor row Hit, that's his name.

Oh, I agree. Should we try and get him on?

Yeah, and just ask like, what's with the change of inflection? You know, I'm a bit iffy about it.

Hayden, Do you want to get it on? I've got a stiffy.

Me.

Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app.

If you don't, you're a little bitch. Okay, let's read some reviews out.

If you can muster up the strength or the passion to leave us a review, it makes us. This is the happiest part of the podcast. And as you know, I'm in a fuck mood today.

Oh god, poor Darling.

Let's pray. I don't know. I just woke up on this on the side of the bed.

You know, I think it stemmed from I had my Amiga three fish oil tablet and it dissolved in my mouth a little bit before I ate it, and then I had fish o my mouth all day, and.

No matter how many coffees I had, I couldn't get rid of the day.

And I just, I mean, I would be pretty fucking pissed off if I started my day with a Tunis movie as well.

Liquid I'm gonna go.

You know, I had a friend growing up, Wade Turner, who his mum didn't believe that the Amiga three fish oil tablets had enough potency in them, so she made his own hard pressed fish. I would buy fish from the fish Mark. Sorry this memory he has just hit me in the smack being in the face and I can smell it. She would press fish mackerel, juice.

Them like a lemon, yes, making a drinker.

Disgusting.

What the fuck woman?

That's because we'd have sleepovers and in the morning i'd have my week bits and he'd have half a gallon of fucking fish. Hut, glad I'm staying over at your house anyway. Sorry, I digress.

Well, look, hopefully these reviews cheer you up today, Darlan.

A fucking better.

Let me tell you that because you win a free mug. If your review is read out on the show, you've got a week to get in contact with price keeper Jenn.

Now, yeah, reach out to her on our Instagram at a couple of inches, which is also where you can buy one if you don't win one, Lincoln Bio to do a bit of mug shopping.

There's quite a few of them to be Now, this is fucked.

Fuck is Talia?

Oh?

See, listen to Tarlie's title, right you tell you? Why don't we play a little game of spot the fuck up? So Tylia has said, oh, the.

Best podcast ever all caps, exclamation points, lovely, quite beautiful. Thanks Talia.

If it's the best fucking podcast ever, why have you left us two stars?

What? Oh, Tarlie, are you dim witted little git? We're not going to give you a mug if you leave us two stars?

Hands down the best podcast I've ever listened to. Oh well, here's two stars. The saving grades that pulled me out of the depths of the president.

I mean, if you look at the teas and seeds, technically you've read her review out so she's still eligible for a mug fuck illegally.

Have rats, Talia, you've rapped, thanks, Tarlia.

I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt, and I think what's happened here is she's accidentally done two stars, because that's too glowing to only.

I mean, she may have accidentally put two stars, but maybe we'll just accidentally send her a completely fucking smashed mug.

Oh no, no, Mitchell, do you have the mugs in your d you go get one, plase, no, please please.

That's fine. Way they are.

You talk amongst yourselves and I will go and get a man.

And I just go get it.

Okay, you're in a bad mood. No, no, no, no, I'm going.

To get it.

Now. It's literally just me's getting it.

You are in a bad mood today?

Oh yeah? Are you gonna do like a traditional Greek wedding style smashing of the mug?

Just you wait, she'll get exactly what's coming to her. What was her name?

Talia?

Tarli Tarlia oc Talia oc Oh, Jenna, thank you, Jenna's got me a unboxed, unopened.

Don't even open the box, you throw the box?

No, no, no, I want to have a look at this beautiful full mug that could be you do, I don't know. You could give it to her family member. Oh it's packed well, because you don't want these to smash this. All things are so sensitive and so delicate, because we made sure we've got the best fine bone shoe.

The pink one. Lovely. They're the face of.

A beautiful pink one.

And if she wants to give us two stars, oh my god, and she'll only get two percent.

Oh my god. No, there's pieces over there or they're over here, So Jenny, what about all other pieces?

I've got two pieces of a mug and I'll put them in the box. You can ship that off, two pieces of the mug for two stars.

Oh good?

Yeah, sorry, the staff are coming in.

All good, We're all good everyone.

Hey, Mitch, we're made.

Put your headphones on, idiot.

Thank you.

Sam. Sam came into film Thatt.

Thanks Sam, Sam.

You're bleeding from the forehead long sore.

Mitch. Are you okay?

Oh? Better than ever?

Yeah?

I thoughts?

Are you really okay?

Thanks for asking?

All right, we'll enjoy your shards.

Tarlia, thank you everyone whoa Let's move on.

We have your float to and they say a clean podcast five stars?

Is it just me?

A podcast I've listened to since day one? However, I have noticed a floor in the podcast. What get me another mug?

Get me.

Go fetch?

No, please don't.

It says on Apple podcasts that this show is clean. I beg to differ anyway. I live in Tasmania and I feel like I'm the only one who actually listens in Tasmania.

Excuse the fuck you. We're fucking clean as fuck.

Dog. There you go.

Two mugs given out, well one and one and a one quarter gener I do expect.

You to send this out. I'm going to sign it. I'm going to sign it. What was her name again?

How do you spell dirdy hot? And I've only spelt Mitch with an emmon and I I don't know where the other three letters went, all right?

I think Sam got hit by the actual glass.

Yeah, you'll actually see in the footage that will get put on mine. Maybe is that you literally threw it at my leg and it shattered off the chair that was behind me and shattered all into the back.

Of my legs.

There's a lot of blood.

Was like God, there is literally bleeding.

Are you Oh my god, Sam, There's not enough calcium in the world to save Sam's brittle bones from your mark throwing.

Actually Tarlie's fault.

Yeah, you know, you know what, I get it.

That's it.

I'm done. Don't be dramatic and quit the show. What's a bit of a sault between colleagues?

Did it bounce off and hit you ship?

I've got shots of a fucking mug in my legs.

Oh no, do we need to pause? Are you okay?

That's fine, Jenna, Yes, you go fetch the first aid kit please, Sam. He's got it in the kitchen. Oh Jenna, Yeah, not worries.

I'll just hobble my way out.

Sam is bleeding out on the way. Anyway, let's talk about us some more.

Do you know what'll cheer you up? Mitchell? So last week on the show, we were talking about fan fictions. Right as in erotica, the people write about people that they're fans of. Correct, So for example, someone might write a dirty novel about no Hagrid and Dumbledore. They let their imagination run wild, and so we asked our listeners to send in some fanfic about you and I.

Mitch.

Oh god, so prepared to be uncomfortable because I've been sent some fanfic and it actually came from our good mate talisiha Vescio, who has you know? Mitch used to be the co host with me on my old podcast Not My Cup of Tea?

Did you also notice Mitchell?

Before we hear Talisiha's we had Watson Paddington send us erotica a fanfic that they had written in our secret Facebook group. It was so dirty and so vulgar that it got them a week long man on Facebook.

How did that happen? Did we report it or something?

No, someone else must have reported it.

Wa'son messaged and said, apparently this post got my Facebook account disabled.

I can't imagine why.

Anyway, The fanfic is now officially uploaded on what pad, So if you like to read, you can search the words Jenna or diaphram or a couple of mitches and you will find the horny Masterpiece.

Thank you?

What Wow? So this is why we need moderators. Clearly that's coming up, yes, but for now, do you want to hear it? She actually sent it in as audio.

Oh you don't want any porn music or any sound effects. It's all sorted.

No, no, no, no, it's all sorted.

Great.

I'm reading it is either. But she gave me a heads up. She said, you're going to feel uncomfortable listening to it, Mitch.

I don't think I'm going to be able to look you in the eyes if I'm honest while this is playing.

Oh well, thank god, I'm working from home.

All right, let's roll this fan fiction for Mitch Coombs Mitch Jury from Talisha Esco.

I'm ready to hear.

Hello to the couple of Mitches. It is Talisha. Welcome to your fan fic or your worst nightmare. Let's get into the reading, shall we. So the trio had finally finished what could only be described as the most disastrous recording of the is It Just Me? Podcast? From the very beginning, everything was going wrong, and Jenna only added to the stress by offering less than usual to the podcast.

Its accurate, that sounds realistic.

As soon as the recording ended next week, Jenna abruptly got up from her stool and announced, I'm going to get to tea, and Coombs excused himself to the producer's booth to calm down. This left Jury alone in the studio, who was stressed and feeling flustered from the ordeal. He wiped a single beat of sweat from his forehead and licked it off his finger.

Oh.

His finger lingered there for a moment, and he slid it between his lips. His eyebrows shot up and he realized he was getting quite quickly aroused. He swirled his tongue around his finger and closed his eyes as he rocked back in his chair. He placed his free hand on the desk to stabilize him as his erection grew in his cheeks. He pulled his finger from his mouth and traced down his body and unzipped his fly in one fluid movement.

Wow, he knew what he.

Needed to do to relieve the stress in his body. Of what he wrapped his hand around and held it against his body, and he slipped a slight moan from his lips. At that moment, Coombs suddenly looked up to the speaker and realized the microphone was on. Coombs lingered in the producer's booth for a sh short time, and his mind began to wander should he tell him, should he leave him alone? Or should he join him?

No, my god, He stood up and made his way to the studio door, where he appeared through a glass panel to see Churi completely exposed with his leg up on the desk.

He was curious and was beginning to get aroused by the scene unfolding in front of him, so Kombs tried to get Churi's attention from outside the door, but realized he needed to go in. He lightly pushed on the door and entered the room. Churi was startled and tried to cover himself. It's okay, said Combs, leaning against the door with a smirk creeping over his lips. He moved towards the desk, biting his lip. Chruy Loop shocked, but

Guys, I think we need to re record.

That was an absolute uster, with.

Jenna flinging the studio door open with a cup of tea in hand. Kums clambered off jury and flung his bare body against the wall in an attempt to hide, but it was too late. No, Jenna stood opposite Churi, who was still exposed.

What's going on in here?

So that's that was that?

Wow?

I hope you enjoy it and there, thank you so much for coming to my reading.

Well done, very good writing, very good.

I'm so uncomfortable.

Yeah, I'm just going to turn the webcam off for the rest of the show.

It was a bitter movement.

I'm not gonna lie.

Oh so if you guys didn't quite keep up with a story in a nutshell, Mitch was wanking in the studio and I just decided to.

Hop on board, and I was making a tea.

Yeah, and I was trying to search for your entrance.

Why that story was I the most disgusting beast deciding to jerk off after tasting my own sweat, which it was a real plot for. And it's a single bead of sweat, which is not me. It's entire service of body.

Sweat always drenched. Yeah, yeah, there is a real like she really lingered on the fact that you were a bit of a creep. I'm not the creepy one. I just helped myself, But you were the one that was wanking in the first.

True, you're fine.

You just saw an opportunity that I'm sure you've wanted to do since today you met.

Me and nine.

I think the biggest plot floor is that Jenna storms back in the studio and says, guys, we need to re record. This was a disaster. If this was real life, I would have turned to her and said, you're not the boss here, bitch, I'm having a ride.

As if would have brought anything to our attention anyway.

I would have looked and then ran off a bit.

And you know what, I think we can officially end there, guys, no more, No more fan fictions. Please, we don't want any more submissions.

Please never send them.

Keep your imagination to yourself, please from now on.

That's awful.

Well, from one horn that was blown to another, it is officially time for this, ladies and gentlemen. It's time for the first annual Moderator Games, and.

This is the deciding round. Of course, we have two finalists that carried over from episode eighty one. They're battling it out to be the moderators in our Facebook group Enduring Idiots.

God knows why, no idea unpaid work. They're chomping at the bit for it. We had thousands of applicants, each paying a twenty dollars fee. We are coming out of this very very.

Successful, even more rich than we already were.

Exactly right loaded, but we are very excited to do this. Let's please welcome our first tributes and our final two, Callum.

And Laura, Stephanie, Sammie. Steph is here, Allo, Steph, Welcome, Guy Hi. The task for.

This week to win the role was to impress us and to book a guest, something that I am very familiar with.

They don't have to be a celebrity or anything.

That's right, Jenna, that they can be anyone make us laugh. Like I said, some people refer to this show as a comedy podcast, others true crime. I don't know where they go that from, but that's what others say.

Do you feel like now that you've had to actually do work and like find a guess, is there a part of you that thinks, Oh, God, the prize is not worth it. I'm just moderating a group. Why am I coming above and beyond?

No?

I don't think it's a lot of work. I think it's a good reward.

He that Mitch gets booking, not a lot of work.

You guys are going to have the boss from hell.

You know, I'm a very easy, cool, young Silicon Valley boss.

You'll be dealing with Mitchell.

You can back out now, say ah, if you want to back out.

No, they are both excited.

No.

Uh, and I guess you too have guests ready to introduce to the show.

Is that right? I do?

We sure do? Now, Mitchell, how should we decide who goes first? Should there be a question that they must get right in order to decide who goes first? So it's fair?

Well, I mean, does rock paper scissors work over zoom?

Yeah? Hold your hands up. I believe we can do rock paper scissors.

On my account.

Rock paper scissors go Calm wins, he beats Steph out.

That is fine. It's a simple game of chance. Callum.

We will now hand it over to you to introduce to us the guest that you have brought.

Well, as you know, is it just me?

Is run by the girls and the gays, and obviously with that comes a it's a very similar audience and any girl's gay, all they would know who this guest is. I decided to get a finalist from RuPaul's drag Race down under the One and Only art Simone is here.

Oh my god?

Is that true? Simone? Can you hear us?

Nah?

Hi?

O god?

Oh my god? This is I mean, I'm in utter shock. How did this happen? Did Callum just reach out to you and say, come on this?

Yeah?

I just got a little email from Callum being like, Hi, do you want to do this thing? I don't even really understand what I'm doing, but I've got nothing better.

Yeah, it's a tricky thing to explain. You're basically just here. Like the challenge for Callum was to get a guest, and he's got a good one. Wow. A while since the show wrapped up, hasn't it.

Yeah, it's been a couple of not a couple of months. I don't know, it seems like an eternity. Go I have no concept of time.

But yeah, well it was even longer ago that you filmed it, right? When when was that we filmed?

In January, so yeah, yeah, I mean it wasn't compared to like normal drag Race seasons. They're sitting that the footage is sitting in the can for like a good twelve months. So this really very yeah, very quick turnaround.

Holy shit.

We probably should establish this is a podcast that we do. We have a Facebook group and and Callum is competing to be the moderator to be in charge of our group.

Yeah.

Actually I'd like to say that I would like to be the moderator.

Thank you.

So wow.

I remember when I was watching RuPaul's drag Race down Under. I was particularly drawn to you arts the moment because you're a bit like me. You've got the Kath and Kim accent going on.

Yeah, I know, I know. It's just a way of laugh, isn't it.

It just comes over you. You don't turn it on or off on purpose. It just kind of happens sometimes.

And it's this really weird thing where you'll be in a room with someone else and then they suddenly start talking like.

That way as well.

It's just you know, it's kat by Osmosis.

I guess, you know, yeah, I don't know.

I never I've never seen Kathy Kid I really don't now. I guess if you're Katherine, you're Kid, then i'd be Who's what's Magda's role?

Sharon?

Sharon shared Sharon, I love Sharon.

Well, I think that's a very good guest. Art quickly drag Race question. Who are you rooting for on All Stars?

Are you watching?

Oh?

Yes, because that's tonight.

Well we've been finished by the time this podcast is up at anyone.

I'm not really any of them.

But why do you.

Say that it's a great season?

Because because I'm just not invested in any of them.

It's just like, cool, go for it, girls.

I hope they all win. I hope someone comes out of a big skip in this episode and takes over and then wins.

So yeah, because that would be good to be brought back like Eureka and that to win. Wouldn't that be That would sort of make sense narratively, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't that be fabulous? But who knows what will happen?

Yeah, well, welcome Art. This is brilliant.

So shall we keep Art on the line to see if Callum wins while we get STEP's guest, or does does Art just get eliminated?

We're welcome to stick around.

Do you have anything better to do?

Yeah?

If the answer is no, then this is really depressing for you.

Are It's lockdown life.

It's all I can do.

I've locked out a good half an hour slot for this. So great? Okay, Do I have any more questions? I don't know.

Oh is Drag Race down at coming back for a season two? Do you know after the reception?

I don't know.

I mean I've heard like whispers long the line that it will be, but there's been nothing officially announced yet, so we're waiting to hear.

Yes.

Interesting, I wish I had the gusts.

For Hey, Mitch, Yeah, can you turn that drone off? I feel like there's a fucking mosquito in my ears?

But it says the tone.

We've had, the intensity. Now we're just chatting.

Yeah, true, Okay, Well I feel good. Steph? How are you? Stephen popped off the vape?

She's like, how I got simone? She's just got a vape?

Swety, don't be worried, Steph.

You'll be fine.

I guess you know what you're hear. Now, why don't you stay? It's a party. Yeah, yeah, I'll hang out.

It's fine.

Okay, Well Steph has brought again. Art's got her mother, Stephan vaping? Steph? Should we bring your guest in?

Yes, we should.

Why don't you introduce some Steph?

I would like to introduce Blake. He is from the hordest new bear and metal band in Melbourne. Oh my god, lost in reflection?

Oh my god.

Well he's lost in the audio because it says Blake's audio is disconnected. Oh hello, Oh my god, I'm scared. Hello, what what is going on?

Who have you brought to this established audio production?

I have brought the hottest new band in Melbourne.

Wait, there's multiple people doing that noise?

No, it's just Blake.

Can you turn your camera on?

Man?

I can't have a chip tooth at the moment though.

That's my only That's fine, that's fine in a room full of weeks.

Oh, Blake, very handsome.

Hollay, thank you. How's it going?

I'm good? What happened to the tooth? Blake?

Uh?

A lot? It's a long story.

People are bad.

Yeah.

Oh hang on, it sounds like this long story needs unpacking. What did you get yourself in? Who did you get yourself into trouble with?

Okay, Okay, well, he was a very drunk man, maybe under some influence of some.

Other things that I was very unaware.

Of about at the time.

Yeah, he just smashed me in the face of the chair man.

He was like, yo, that guy.

That guy needs to.

Learn a lesson or something apparently, And yeah here I am.

Oh no, I.

Think there's a lot of rage and needs to scream it out.

So much rage. And Blake talked to us about your band. What's what's it called?

We're called Lost in Reflection.

And it's a it's a punk rock ethereal vibe punk rock.

I would say, more of a metalcore alternative rock.

Maybe you should scream Jenna please?

Like wow, that seriously takes me back to high school when I was in my emo music phase. Are you still listening to Escape the Fate? His infernal majesty?

Oh?

What takes me back? I do enjoy a good screen.

Like art.

Simone is here? Who was Callum's surprise guest? Is there any sort of slam talk you want to throw arts way to prove that you are, in fact the better guest?

Not really, man.

The only thing I really have to say is that I definitely think that Jenne.

Should change her name to Mitch because it just makes things convenient for everybody. You know, that'd be ridiculous.

He's good a point, Mitch, Mitch and Mitch.

Yeah, man, j Emma's a much easier about sorry consolent to form screams off, you know.

From a screaming perspective. Yes, I like that.

Oh interesting, I'm here right.

What do your normal vocals sound like when you not screaming? Can you just sing?

Like?

Are they Maria or something? What are they Maria?

Oh?

Man, I'm very on.

I can see like a like a a scale.

Yeah, okay, what about you, Simon? Have you ever been bashed by a junkie? No comment, but that's great.

Art was blacking out her teeth, so she was equally as chipped as Asa.

Okay.

I wanted to make him feel comfortable, but I blacked out too, so I'd still have more chip teeth than him.

Double.

Well, we definitely have a lot of thinking to do. Thank you for the entries you too.

Wow.

Is anyone else getting the sexual tension between Blake and stuff? He's there is there a history there, guys.

I can smell it.

Whoa, whoa, I'm engaged to a Mitchell he.

Has a beautiful mustache.

Man.

I say that man has the nicest mustache I've ever seen.

Interesting getting married to him.

All right, Simone and Blake, we will say goodbye to you. Thank you so much. This was an absolute pleasure, and I'm sure your entrance will get back to you with the results.

Yes, all right, took us everyone, so.

Love you.

Goodbye, I meet you, Blake.

Bye's gone, Blake is gone. All right, guys, we're gonna put you in the cone of silence while we discuss. Okay, and we'll get back to you in a couple of moments.

The two of you. Wow, they were They were interesting. Now that they can't hear us, What the fuck was that?

What just happened?

I'll tell you what that was. It was like chalk and cheese. You can't really compare those guests. Both had interesting things to say. One of them had better phone reception than the other, which is always nice in my book, you know, being a bit of an audio nurve.

But Simone has that celeb power.

She's beloved, especially in our gay community.

Yeah, I don't I don't mean to sound shady, but I was subtly googling Lost in reflections to try and do some like rushed research and I think comes up on Google. So I'm like, how known of these guys? I mean, they must, they must be just starting out, and I'm more than happy to give them a leg up. He's clearly talented what he does, so you know.

And what is it true that he does? That's tough.

I'm an art simone fan, and I think Callum did well to book a guest. I feel like Steph knows it's porn of Satan and it was an easy get. But also we said it doesn't have to be a celebrity, it could be a friend.

Yeah.

I do wonder who had to jump through more hoops to get their guests, and Calum would probably be that person. But also I liked chatting with Blakie. He was bashed by a junkie. That's a cool story. It's about how interesting the content is.

He was very handsome too. He had the long, wavy hand, it kind of looked like a straight was kind of hot. Contracept you die from Sam?

What do you think?

Look?

I feel as much as I love screaming guy the.

Whole I called him the sport of Satan. You call him screaming guy. It's not even a.

Hard name to remember. Guys, his name's Blake.

I don't even remember him.

He said that I should change my name.

Yeah, he did. That was random.

Yes, well, guys, we're gonna have to make a decision here. I'm not pissed off with either of them.

I mean, is there any reason that we can't have two moderators? I don't know. Or does that defeat the per of the games?

It kind of I don't see any problem with it. We created these games, so I guess we can bend the rules. Jenna, what do you think about having to You.

Know, I quite enjoyed both guests. I think we could have two.

We have got an influx of people joining in the last week, so there is more people to moderate, and I guess that also gives us the potential power to fire one of them down the track.

That's true, which could be fun.

Yeah, let's bring them both on board, but just make it clear that they're on probation.

All right, how do we want to do this? Do we want to just only hire Steph because Calum will think he's won it?

So should we just do step Yeah?

Just be like and the winner is Steph. And then we let that you know, play out for a bit, and then we go and.

Right, all right, let's add them in contraceptive diaphram, Sam, can you please add them back in?

Absolutely? Thank you so much. Wow, this is so exciting.

This is the weirdest thing I've ever done.

All right, Callum has re entered the chat.

Hello Callum, welcome back. Hello, and we have.

I don't know, but Mitch, do you need to charge those things because she'll be plugged in all night the rate she's been Chiffin, don't know.

Have you got a disposable stare for or you've got one of the charge but once.

I've got both?

Interesting, Well, listen, the first annual Moderator Games have come to a conclusion and natural conclusion. After minutes of adjudicating, we have decided that we have a winner and I will play the official winning drone as we head into one of the most exciting periods in our podcast history. Well, well that's happening in the show. Our group is bustling enjuring idiots on Facebook. You can join it now. You

Steph, well done, Steph.

Oh my god, congratulations Steph, Oh my god. Really that's right, Steph, you are our winner, and so is Callum.

Oh my god.

You can never have too many moderators. As far as I'm concerned.

This is amazing, is it?

Yes?

I think I can fare with Mitchell.

When you say amazing, do you mean a complete waste of time?

Oh, Callum is tearing up everybody's wife and his tears.

Or you have both won unpaid work?

Well done, Calum, Are you actually that worked up over it?

No?

God, no, he's actually crying realization at what he's just signed up.

Yeah, I'm going to call fair work after this, so smart.

Good yes bye.

Callum has officially been added as moderator and Steph has officially been added as moderator.

Congratulations, you too.

Very done.

Thank you guys, Thank you.

Work to get done.

There was a severely racist post that I just saw in the group, so it's up to your discretion whether or not to get to put in. Thank you, goodbye, guys, Goodbye, Callum.

By step well done. Sorry, sorry tunnel, sorry, tunnel, They're gone.

Yeah, they didn't sound overly thrilled, Bye, thrilled.

That screaming guy.

I was quite impressed with them both.

I mean, let's not negate his skill set like not everyone can scream like that. I don't think any of us could do that, that's true.

Give it a go, Mitch, give what a go?

Screaming?

Oh how about.

Gag Jenn? Know what about you see if you can scream a few notes? What is a song that we could get her to turn into a scream oversion?

Good for you, Olivia Rodrigo.

No, I'll do driver's license. I was going to say, you should do Stop by the Spice Girls.

Okay, yeah, I'll do that.

Stop right now.

Thank you very much.

Right, I'm so glad that I came back to this.

Welcome back, Sam. Do you want to scream for us?

Oh?

No, what am I going to scream?

I think you should scream? I dreamed a dream from lemisra Yes, Christ, how does that go? I dreamed to dream in Tiger Bares.

Oh. Sam's larynx is on the glass studio door and.

Is a nice note to end on the finale of the first annual Moderator Games. As we've said in the past, the Moderator Games are not ethical, No, but they are fair.

Well what a week? Two mystery guests, a fan fic about us?

Yep, a sore throat, Yes, what a show. Thank you to Callum.

Thank you to what's the other one's name, Steph Beth for contributing to the first annual Moderator.

Games back in the year. I guess we'll do this around September time every year. I'm quite excited.

Yep.

Sure, maybe we can make one admin next time.

I wouldn't go that far.

Yeah too much? Actually, all right, Mitchell, why.

Don't we do the next one? Instead of Moderator Games, we make it Personal Assistant Games.

Oh you're in the market for one, Mitch.

Oh, I mean it couldn't hurt.

I love a personal assistant.

Yeah, i'd like one toopsually.

If it's unpaid, I.

Don't know where i'd put them half the time. What do they work out of your house?

Well, they do whatever needs to be done to make your life easier. I guess Jeeves sweep the floor.

Oh, Jeeves a big aby. Chatfield has a personal assistant.

I remember when she was promoting that role.

Yeah, but I find it odd when you're at that level. It's just like, where's hr you escalate a complaint to it just seems odd.

I will forget about it. It's an idea. We won't get PA's then be.

Very weird Christmas party, Me get dinner. Sure, let's do secret Sannah. Sure, Oh I got you. I just wouldn't really have the same excitement anyway. We can discuss that. It's not another year. Let's get out of here. It's been a pleasure. Guys.

Give us a five star review. If you'd like to keep us on the pod, we'd appreciate it.

Or if you want to leave a more fair review after what you just heard, that's that's all right. We understand they can't do six.

We'll see you back next week. Eighty three. What a good year.

Great year. Eighty three will be good. Show eighty three will be I've lost the pot. My throat is currently bleeding. See you guys next week.

Thanks for listening, Love you. Catch you next week guys, Bye.

Bank Is it just me? Podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, add of course, attention definsite disorder. We let our minds run wild. There's no discipline here and we're just having a debrief. You know. This is the secret segment because we don't really want anyone to hear it. We want this to be a judgment free zone. If you're here judging us, fuck off please. This is where we just let loose. Okay, no judgment.

This is that awkward coworker that lives on the same train line as you, and when you both leave at the same time and they go, oh, do you want to just we just go together, and you, in that moment can make the snap decision. Yes, I will go with them, and it could be great. I could find my new best friend. Or it would be kind of awkward.

And kind of shit. But doesn't matter either way. Yep, it doesn't matter.

Hey, contraceptive diaphragm? Sam, Does that happen to you? Is there any colleagues on the train with you?

Oh?

I'm like, what on the train home?

Yeah?

Either fucking way. I don't care if it's in the morning, on the way in or home, just on the train.

I tend to avoid it.

He can't think he doesn't have much blood left in his body. It's true, Sam, you and I've had that interaction a couple of times because I drive the way Sam catches the train, and Sam's gotten up to leave and I've gone I'm leaving too, And then I'm like, oh, well, I could drive you, and it's been a great, pleasant drive. There's been no awkwardness, yes.

That being said, but I feel like you then feel obligated.

There's been times where you're leaving but I'm not done yet, and I'm like, oh am, I gonna have to wrap up early so I can take Sam because I feel bad, not on you, that's on me.

Yeah, where you never have to, Well, now I do, because you can charge me with attempted manslaughter. So I've shot.

I often run Sam to the station if we're finished recording at the studio, not one. I'm working from home, obviously, but I have to do laps of the block because they've got so much to gossip about how terrible our JEM colleagues are.

Sorry, what are you doing? Delta? Gridgiel went live and my phone automatically turned it on.

Sorry, I think I've got that set to auto on whenever Delta does anything. I'm a big fan, wouldn't she be?

It's being about the Delta strain.

Yeah, actually, yes, I have inside goss on that.

Do you actually just that they are mitigating, trying to mitigate the references from Delta.

Who's they Deltra team, Guodram.

Hell, it's worldwide.

By not makeing No, they're not trying to mitigate Delta.

I was going to say, are they going to reach out to the strain.

That would be smart moving.

No, they're not embracing it. They're just like not making the connection. Like, you know, because if it happened to us, right, if the Coombs virus was a thing, you'd fucking make merch. But I think they've decided the other route to just not address it.

You know.

Well, look, I feel that because I know how to produce a multimillion dollar podcast, I can offer my insight here Delta. Have a laugh, Darlin. It's funny, like everyone else is making the connection. You staying mute doesn't stop that, so you may as well just have a laugh about it.

I saw a really funny meme because Delta is one of the big three US airlines, and I saw a tweet. The annual report of how much they made their financial review was put out and they said We obviously had big issues this year due to the c DASH one Comma four, but they didn't.

They referred to it by its literal.

Base science, by its atomic structure instead of saying delta because they didn't want to connect them losing money to the same word that is their brand.

It was very funny.

I'd be pretty happy if a cyclone was named after me.

You know.

That one never happened there because they only name cyclones after women. They don't do male cyclones.

I know, yeah, but what about Hurricane Henry?

Henry was non binary Jenna?

Oh yeah, Actually they should do more male names like cyclone Bruce. Fuck, I'd be scared.

Maybe that's why? Is that why me looking at Sam as if he knows? Because female?

So people find it less threatening when it's like cyclone Tracy Trath is coming over.

Yeah, that it makes sense.

Do you guys got there's so many things about this already?

Yeah? Is it conspiracy? Bullshit?

No, it's just so much about cyclone, so I don't have the time, all the attention span.

Gee, Mitch, I'm so glad that we've got too capable googlers on board to help us. No too much reading.

I hope me coming out of probation has just shown you that I am, in fact a dedicated member of this team. I've excelled since probation has been lifted, I think.

And before that's why it was lifted. You have been great, Jenna.

However, I'm the price keeper.

Sam. Sam like, I'm surprised is here?

He's bleeding out.

Well, I mean, you know he's been here for the next couple of minutes until I die.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to apologize to that girl.

Also, that being said, until nineteen seventy five, all tropical storms around the world were only given feminine names, and this changed when former Australian Minister of sign It's Bill Morrison decided, Yeah, let's make a bit more equal.

How was that equal?

Of course a man came up with that.

Yeah, I don't see how that's equal. Just targeting women like cyclone Debrah, How was that fair? I want to cyclone Kevin thrown in there every now.

Yeah, And of course a man.

Would think that it's such a compliment to make all women you know what, it's a quality. Let's give women the name of cyclones.

Oh I he slept so well that night, he thought he'd done something so progressive. He was like, yeah, I'm going to name all natural disasters after women. Female representation were whose sisterhood? Fuck you?

How how was work, honey? Yeah? It was real good.

Actually, what did you do to break the glass ceiling today?

Dear?

Well, you know, when people lose their homes and livelihood and everything that's dear to them, I'm going to blame that on women. A you know, a god boy.

You know, a cataclysmic national emergency that could potentially wipe out an entire state.

I named it after your mother.

You know what, there's actually a bit of truth about that. So this started in Australia in eighteen eighty seven when some guy from the Bureau of Meteorology decided he's going to name him after Greek letters and mythological creatures and the top politicians he didn't like.

Watch out of Hurricane vvvv.

And they've gone, actually, nah, this is a dumb idea.

And then it's they call it Karen.

No one did this until nineteen sixty four, when some misogynist decided, Nah, you know what, I'm going to name him after all of my ex wives.

I don't like.

What was his name again? This guy, this clown that named it after the shit Morrison Bill.

Back in eighteen eighty seven, it was a guy named Clement at Warrig.

Sure, Jenner, that's your wreck, not Clement.

Why did you leave Clement again?

Oh?

He was just so problematic.

Yeah, cyclone, Jenner would be really silent, like it wouldn't make much racket, but it would kill the biggest number of casualties in recorded history, and no one would know how absolutely.

It would actually be so sly, like the hurricane wouldn't last a matter of minutes. It would actually just be like a one second blast and everything's fucked and then it's over. It's like this huge gust of wind.

There is apparrently Hurricane Ida happening in Florida in Americas. If we have any Floridians or American listeners, yes, we are actually sending our love to you. It's actually quite bad at the moment, but we don't experience hurricanes as bad as that part of America, like down the south.

What is that south? East? Yeah? Is really Sam's like, yeah, you're fucking idiots East. Sorry, Yeah, it's bad.

So I think have you heard Yeah, I probably already have told you this, but have you heard the broken tornado siren in Chicago?

You've played as many times terrifying.

If I'm ever wanting to leave my laptop to download something and I don't want the laptop to go to sleep, I'll just hit this ten hour loop of the Chicago broken tornado siren to make sure my laptop's still run because it's playing this really long YouTube video.

Are you getting it ready?

Yeah? So spooky. I hate it.

That is horrific. Oh my god, have you seen that viral TikTok? Wow, we're really going down a natural disaster round, aren't we. But you know what, let's commit Mitchell. Have you heard have you heard the it's going viral on TikTok? There are hurricanes happening in the US at the moment,

I'm going to get it up.

Oh don't say get it up after the fan fic.

Oh?

Oh sorry, sorry, not appropriate? All right, here we go. I think.

Thirty one six ' five. What's your favorite natural disaster? I'm quite partial to an earthquake. No, just be all right, Jenna.

If i'm typing, you can carry I'm.

Triggered by earthquakes.

When I was in Vanuatu, there was a massive earthquake, the biggest that ever had, and it was very scary.

All right, I found the audio.

It's been fucking sitting on that story. Oh is this a past life bullshit?

I thought, no, No, this is a current life. What happened when in two thousand and two, you're joking?

What happened? I missed it.

A huge earthquake hit Vanoa two when we were there, really, and it was so scary.

They thought a tsunami would come.

Did you like feel the earthquake?

Yeah?

Was it scary?

Yeah?

It was terrifying and there were tremors continuously for the next few days. And I was begging my dad to take us back home, and he said, no, we've paid for this hotel.

We're staying here.

I remember when I went to Hong Kong for the first time and the only time, so I don't know why I stayed. When I went to Hong Kong, there was a cyclone, like a Stage five cyclone, and it was so bad. We were in one of these gigantic skyscrapers. The was swaying in the wind and they played a message over the loop like this is normal. The buildings are built and designed to sway. Do not be scared. And it was swaying. And I was fifteen. I was

It was a great one. Yes, anyway, I found the video.

So this the tornado sirens, I should say they tornado sirens in his neighborhood. There is one, two, three, four, five going and they.

All broken too.

No, no, no, they're.

All working well, they're all doing their job, which is just a scary siren. But because there's five of them, they all harmonize and it's Beautifulready time.

All the tornado sirens in my neighborhood accidentally harmonized.

In the middle of about four sirens. So it may have been that four sirens were going off perfectly. Seriously, this is crazy. I'm in awe.

Isn't that beautiful?

I love that.

Shouldn't he be running for his life not just being in R in.

R It's like he's in a movie.

Yeah, a movie school.

I'm in awe.

No, it sounds like sleep meditation. That's lovely. Yeah, Hey, Mitch, give me it. You give me a note and I'll try and harmonize with it. Jenna, you be the third note paper. H No, Jenna, you fucked it. That's the same note that we're already doing. What That's not how harmonies work. That's it's an optive up, same note.

I'm turned off, to be honest, I don't know what's going on.

You know what, though, Mitch, you mentioned on your podcast that you do with your loving gay boyfriend Hayden What is it again? Top one hundred?

Right, the Top one hundred with Haynicks and the Mincheal Cherriers.

Yes, you mentioned on that podcast that, uh, you used to play the saxophone, which we know, but you claimed I'll hand me a saxophone now and I could still play it. So let's just brainstorm right now. I'm thinking, if we get a saxophone in the studio, we'll see if you can still play it.

I thought you were going to say turn around, that's where Sam went, he's got a saxophone.

I was gonna have a heart attack.

I'll make it next week. Do you want me to?

How are you going to get a sax I can reach.

Out to someone and say, oh, give us a sax.

I remember that claim I said. I think I could be handed a saxophone and blindly play I of the Tiger. I wrote that was my plan, right I actually hona, no no no no no no no no no.

No no no, just play the eye beer.

Don't don't.

Oh yeah, yeah, I like that.

I'll do it.

You're gonna do it. I can get a saxophone for next week.

How are you?

Oh you know he doesn't work anymore, Jim, so yeah, go for it. Get us, get me a sax Excuse me, brushing your hair all day in bed doesn't mean work.

Oh I I.

Thought he's reading the fanfic again.

I'm seeing what I've been so busy the last two weeks. I'll tell you why I'm launching a new podcast.

You know, I haven't decided whether I want a gag or support this one.

Mmm.

I'll support it because I'm a supportive friend. Tell everyone about it. It's very exciting.

Well, I can't say too much at this point other than I'm not canceling. It, gym, I'm gonna be doing both.

Yeah, well I do a fucking radio show in this and Jennat does a day job in this.

You'll it's not a competition, no, we all just support each other instead of saying he's unemployed, he's got nothing better to do than find a saxophone. And also it's not that hard. I'll fucking send an email. I'll do it right now.

How who are you going to reach out to a music company.

I'll just google saxophone high in Sydney. Mind blown.

Wow, you don't have to do it now. I'm sure you'll be to do it by next week.

Yeah, in amongst all my other busyness.

Thank you, Well, I can do it. Would you like me to book? It was your idea, I'll do it.

I'm happy to do it. It was just the shade about me being unemployed that I don't appreciate.

Oh sorry, I didn't mean to.

That's all right, Dylan, anyway, all right, we should wrap things up. Thank you for the for the fanfit guys, and thank you for the nightmares that will ensure from that point homewards and well Doneder Callum and FFI.

Steph close with the f as much of a misogynist as the cyclone guy. I always remember the man's name, but never remember the woman's name.

That's not true, it's got nothing to do with that.

What was their name, teph There we go. I got it, just like my favorite Neighbors character, Steph.

Fuck that show. It's still going that show.

All night.

It's a week though. Hilarious Creese.

He's like, I can't wait to be in Neighbors. I might be in it. I didn't realize I was still that was still on.

He was the He was the adult version of a child who I used to watch on Neighbors back in the day, and I always thought that kid's going to turn out gay. Sure enough, they bring in Joel Creasy to play his adult version.

But also the funny part is Joel's boyfriend in real life plays another role in Neighbors.

Oh that's right. Is he straight or gay in the show?

I think he's straight in the show.

Imagine me trying to play a straight character.

I couldn't even they could do it. But you just have to be a woman, true.

I would That would be a really easy role for me to adapt to a straight woman. Hi, Susan, I've just moved in next door. My name's Melody.

Melody Rain manage the tuck shop.

You know that they just clearly built one set and they just don't want to edit it. And it's even the camera angles are the same every time.

Oh do you mean Harold's Store or whatever it's called.

I don't think I've never listened enough to get the context.

I think that Melody Rain would actually be one of the people working at Lassetta's hotel. But okay, all so.

Your Melody Rain. Who would I be if I was in neighbors? I've never seen it, So just typecast me.

You'd be one of Tody's school friends that comes back after many, many years of being estranged, and there'll be some sort of controversy that he finds out that you fucked his wife d before she died or something.

I don't mind that so d died, Oh a terrible death. How she died?

Haven't you seen that? She just drove her car cliff into the ocean because she was pashing Toady at the wedding and she just wasn't watching where she drove, and just like dead End Street, drove straight into the beach and drowned.

I'm getting this up.

Quite a lazy death when you think of it.

Dee's death. Here we go, So she's now you go forward in peace.

So Toddy's getting married to Tod. Tody's getting made to a blonde woman. Is that d So she dies on her fucking wedding day.

Yes, yeah, they're leaving the wedding.

Oh they're driving and they're kissing. Oh my goodness me.

Oh, I'm not ideal. I feel that you were somehow connected to that, and Tody will find out and he's not happy.

Oh I love it.

I love neighbors, Mitchell. If that's my.

Role, So like, what do you think the connection is Jenna. What's his character name?

I think it would be like.

Lionel.

It would be something lame like Minel or Llayder or something.

Gus said, Josh mate something trying to do all right.

I am one of the paramedics, and the truth is that she was alive and I had the opportunity to get her around.

Because Tody was always told that she was miss sing at sea, but maybe Guss found her. I just put her in the boot and was like, I'm going to keep the corpse just for fun, for fun. You sick.

Fuck Wait they never found this body.

Well, she ended up coming back on the show. It was very bad.

She came up.

Yeah, well like many years later, like quite recently. Actually they brought her back and it was like they thought she was a lie, but it turned out to be her evil twin very shit neighbors storyline. But anyway, this is the good days when d died with her name d am I getting that right, Yeah it was D. Yeah, so I reckon that you actually smuggled D's corpse and kept getting your dungeon or something.

I found it.

D returns dragging me down.

Maybe that's why they didn't spot me. And then the way it turned it was so cold, Tody.

See, that didn't need to happen. I thought that her dying. Like, imagine if Clare McLeod just came back Jenner after plummeting to her death off a cliff.

No, it makes no sense, it doesn't work.

Imagine if Patrick came back on Offspring and was like only lying, No.

That's done, all right, Well I'll happy with that. Well, and what's Jenna's role.

She'd be like one of the support teachers at the school that Susan's the principal at and she starts as like a minor character, like a supporting role, but then as the weeks go on, there's more and more scenes with MAVs to here support worker at the school, and then as it turns out, Mavos is actually stealing money from the canteen and the p and c.

Yeah, yeah, that is such a neighbour's storyline. I love it.

And then Susan calls doctor Carl and says, I sprung her. It's like in the Week's Gone By. Susan keeps going home and saying, I swear maybe this is stealing money, and Carl's like, don't be ridiculous. Eventually Susan calls Carl and says, no, I've just seen her doing it. So Carl comes and crash tackles you to the ground, Jenna, I love it. And then you eve him in the kidney and then he's dead ye, but then he comes back masterpiece.

Wow.

I'm sold all right, I need to get out of here. Well done to our moderators, congratulate.

Well done, well done, Steph.

And the other guy, Mitchell. Hopefully we can have you back in studio. Mitch is getting vax next week.

You know, we'll probably be recording around your vax day, so we can update you more on that next week. Right.

Yeah, So the seventh I get my first jabs yay.

And Jenny, you got your first since we last recorded. Yes, how'd you go?

I was fine. The next day. I felt a bit on weld, but that was totally normal after that.

D on you.

If you can get vaxed, go guys. Yeah, Google every day there's vax checkers.

Now.

You can log in in your location and it's like a ticketed system. Right, you're lining up for concert tickets, Yeah, pops up and tells you if there's one near you, go and get vaccinated. That way, we can actually fucking travel and you don't have to sit on listen and drive dot com.

And then maybe I'll see you guys again in the flesh one day. What if we see you again and we're all different in what sense?

I don't think we will.

That was just a fleeting comment that should have been a thought. Please leave us a five star review, not a two star review. I do apologize to whoever I had a fit at one of those.

I don't apologize.

I think it was founded, all right, Tali if you can rectify your review, we will send you a four mark.

Otherwise, you got something coming in the mail.

Next week.

Eighty three. We love you, bye Mitchell, Goodbye Jenner.

Catch you guys.

See it's saying you do it Mitchell.

Oh fuck? Oh, we hope this podcast. I can't. I can't go into that after just saying oh fuck at the top.

Of my life, I've got a segue.

We need to bring it down. We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. Guys, that's all just two percent week, But that's all we.

Hope one percent for each star that bitch reviewed us for on Apple Podcasts. Not fine, not four, all three, quite simply too a great way I said.

It's saying guy by is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of me.

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