#81: Moderator Games

People do some weird shit. Television legend Carrie Ane Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pivot. Some things make more sense than others.

Bring pikes, nurseries, nurcery, pikes, p y k e s Hey, why I hey, as.

In kill hey, why okay?

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults wood.

Why is life so expensive?

I'm not even having a good time.

This is.

Just a couple of mitches.

What about me?

Don't forget who no he is MITUREI and any one at the welcome mit your curve.

I thought you'd never ask.

Imagine a lot of fans think about us. I've read it on the phone forums.

What forums?

Do you think there's fanfick about you and I out there?

I hate to think what it would say anyone who ships us if you're old. Ship is when you're like you want two pairings in a TV show to work, Like people might ship Ron and Hermione. They want them to get together.

It's often a duo or someone that is associated with each other. Like I'm sure there's fan fiction for the three Block judges. I'm sure people want Shane a blaze to absolutely plow Darren in one of the newly renovated bathroom.

Hey, our third wheel price kip it, Jenna, welcome back. I'm glad we can hear you this week. Could you please google the block fanfic?

Oh? Sorry, Microsoft, Sorry, I'll google it. Yeah, fan ficks. I am not embarrassed to say that I have been turned on by fan fiction before.

What was it about?

I think it was one direction fan fiction. I didn't go looking for it.

This was like you just happened to be on what pad?

No.

I was on Tumbler, and I think I would scroll tumble I don't know what for. And there was there was one direction fanfic and I kind of like I got Barret up over it. I enjoyed it.

Who was fucking?

Who?

Oh? Harry was definitely the leader, and I'm pretty sure it was it was Nile and Liam.

Oh, there were more than one.

Oh got you? They were all going for it. Oh yeah, jesus.

I remember one time my old housemate and I we were drunk and we were just looking up random fanfick and we found a Harry Potter fanfic. There were two. One of them. Ginny was fucked by the battilisk. I'll see now that's where I draw the line like an oversized snake. That doesn't sound practical. Little and the other one was m preg is in male pregnancy and Draco Malfoy was pregnant.

Oh, I've just googled the world's weirdest fanfic and get this. Let me, surely I can find some fanfic music jig school bus catastrophe like this is the synopsis. The school bus gets jammed, bogged in the mud, Miss Frizzle gets crunk.

If you've got school in the same sentence as like an erotic novel.

I'm already anyway. Apparently miss Frizzle locks the kids out of the bus while she gets it on with the lizard in the base.

No lizard, she's.

Got that the goanna.

She rooted her lizard. Unfortunately, there is no block we'll get writing, Jenna, make yourself useful.

For one you could write I used to write one direction fan fick.

Oh, then why don't you write some block fans?

Okay?

I real okay?

Now, doesn't Jennet seem like the type that would write fanfic? It makes so much sense.

Hold on you actually did write. Yes, I'll give you some actual better fan, write some block fan and fick about Shana Darren. Who's Darren Darren Palmer.

I'd rather see Scottie cam choc a block up shade.

Yeah, and Shelley Kraft would just be touching herself in the corner. She will be getting involved because she's too high brow.

Yeah, Jenna, don't do it now. Just work away on it slowly throughout the show and we'll check in late. You can leak at the studio if you need to focus.

Okay, hey, we should say this week, you guys are getting your sweet revenge from my silencing of Jenna the previous episode.

Yeah, anyone who listened to episode eighty last week a momentous episode. But unfortunately our third wheel was completely mute. Mitch forgot to record her mic in not like that's a big part of his job or whatever. And so we thought this week, Mitch, just as a bit of payback, we would give you the silent treatment, and you're going to be doing your own challenge that you invented sound of silence, which, to you, someone who loves the chat, is like so confronting the thought of being shy.

It literally is anxiety inducing. That freaks me the fuck out. But I'll do it. I'll do it. We haven't worked out who I'm calling yet, so that is still to come.

Yeah, and I will figure that out. That's a fucking later us problem.

Yeah, but us now. Thank you for being here. Welcome. It isn't just me. Every week we start the show the exact same way. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We bring an injumach. Mitch has one, I have one, and we start the show. It's pretty simple.

Yeah, do you want to go first or should I?

Um? I can go first, because I think man will be quite punchy. Mine is something that I realized because grocery shopping has become a holiday for us here in Sydney, because we're in such staunch lockdown. Getting out of the house is such a pleasure. So I noticed this when I was grocery shopping over the weekend, and I just want to know if it is a if it's just me. Thank God that we have this podcast.

Yeah, yeah, we are stuck at home right now. I'm just gonna let everyone know. Now I'm working from home, obviously, and I've gone to the effort of trying to make my room kind of soundproof, like I'm surrounded by blankets and stuff, But I don't think that's gonna help. Because it's raining outside, and so you can probably hear rain if you're If you're like one of those people that likes to go to sleep to the sound of rain noises. Apologies.

I apologies if you were to die, if your family find this recording, this is why are you? I can't hear it, Mitchell, though, Oh.

On me, let me crank my mic up. Can you hear this? Ready? Surely you can hear that. It sounds like hail, but it's definitely not.

I just thought maybe Jordan, your housemate was pissing for the last proble minute.

Yeah, I'm sorry, it's kind of peaceful. Everyone just allow it. But let's not forget Mitchell. You've also got your big segment coming up later.

Yeah, I do. Oh my god, how could I forget today? The eighty first episode is when we launched the first sorry the pod music, the first Annuel we are in need of a moderator. Actually, we're not really in need of it. No, we don't really need this idea came to me at the end of last week's episode, and we have a Facebook group and we need someone to

I thought this is so fucking stupid, this idea when you first came up with it, because who's going to want to put their hand up to basically do free work, to have a duty. It's literally we're giving you a responsibility. But so many people registered it. How many people have you narrowed it down to.

Well, we've narrowed it down to five. Okay, so gourgelins, get some shampos that'll be on later in the show. I think we should start, though it should my agent, I've.

Got no idea what these games are going.

To be the best part is neither to Why.

This is your segment?

I hope you got some fine, Fine, all right, let's start.

I completely forgot who we agree with starting.

I'll do it. I'll go let me go first somewhere top of it?

Is it just me?

Are the baby shopping trolleys better than the full adult shopping trots?

Absolutely, they've got a flag.

No, not the baby ones, not the not the dollar ones.

Oh good, I was gonna say. They're not ergonomically safe. Like those tiny things. You'd be arching your back. You'd have shoulder strain as an adult, especially someone as humongous as you China as a baby.

For everyone else it's tiny, but for me, it's like a Coal's mini shop. No, no, no, no. I have been doing so many grocery shops and it's become a place of joy for me because I can get out of the house and you go to the front of Coals. You sign in these days and there are two trolleys. And this has only been maybe maybe a five to ten year advancement, where if you wanted a trolley, you got the big one, or you got a basket. You know,

They're the same size, they're just not as deep. They're like a shallow trolley. Yeah, higher, higher, they're like on stilts.

Oh my god, even if I have to do a full house shop, we get the medium sized trolley. There's just something about it that screams premium to me.

But also if you're only going in there for a couple of bits and bobs, I don't want to lug around a basket, just the medium. I don't want to be selfish and take the full trolley, but I'll take a little one, you know, I agreed.

And the worst part about getting a basket is you grab it because you think you're only going to get two things, but then you see TV snacks are on sale, and then all they brought back chicken in a biscuit. Oh they've got tim tanners on both collection. Pop, you pop, you pop, and then all of a sudden it's in your hand. You go, oh, I'll move it down to

Have you also ever gotten home after doing a shop where you've been cuting things on your arms, whether it be the bags or the bar basket, and you might strip off to have a shower, and you're like, what are these aggressive well marked on my arms? It's from the weight of the fucking basket.

Oh yeah, that's me. I'd go for grocery shopping with Mum. I'd help her out. Then we get home, We'd pull into the garage and I'd help her take the groceries into the kitchen. I would use every joint that I had to grapple a coals, but I would not do more than one trip to the poop, saying, so I would contort my fingers. I come in the exorsues and I would hook them all on and I'd be shaking like this because the weight.

And then you'd be shaking for like another two hours or something.

The follow on shape watching the animation donation the next morning. It's a real fine art. Grocery shopping, do you.

Know what I actually you were saying just before that. Grocery shopping is one of the only reasons you can leave the house. But it's only one person per household, and usually Jordan goes once in a day, and I haven't left the house in so long. I know, you guys can''t relate because I'm the only one working from home and you're you know, at Santel and you're in the studio still, but like Misshopping, Jordan does it, so I don't go. It's fucking raining, I couldn't a walk.

Should have a little girl's drinks on Zoom.

No, it's a good thing me being chaotic. It means it's going to be a fun shirt.

Yeah. True. Oh yeah, she's going to be trigger happy when we get to eliminating the trip.

It just means that I have less fucks to give, and you're already starting with very few. Next time you're in the grocery shop and you see the little little bitty trolley, think of me.

Not the fucking tiny one either, the medium sized mid tier trolley, not the one with the flag. I think that's the chrewery trolley all the one with the seats. Remember it took us. It took us two shows for someone to send in the trolley that I couldn't put my finger on that time.

This is the second time that you've dedicated quite a large portion of the show to talking about trolley It's like there's some kink that you want to fucking disclose today. You love a trolley, don't you?

I do you know what I really love? I love the Target trolleys. Have you seen the Target drolls? Because they're rare and the red and they made a plastic It's such a genius idea.

No, I don't think I've ever needed that many things at Target.

Maybe maybe this is a deep rooted kink. And I want to fuck the trolley lady from Harry Potter anything you do? What's it the trolley?

Well, it depends. If it's the first movie, she's really gentle.

Like anything of the trolley. Yeah, But if it's.

The fucking Prisoner of Azkaban, well doesn't she get a bit yellying of the trolley?

That's my professor. Oh dear, I love you trolleys.

At this point in the episode, when you start rambling, I would kick in and wrap things up because I'm like, this is getting ridiculous. But as I mentioned, I'm feeling chaotic.

Listen here, guys, try and set.

A record for the longest trolley chat. Actually, I'm not that chaotic.

Move on, so I think we've hit it and beat it. Yes, if you see a trolley out in the wild that you think, I'd love to pa trolley picks, aughing for trolley porn. Trolley not trolley pawn. Trolley picks. Send me photos in your trolley and if you've got kids, safe take videos of them going, hi'm me tumming uncle me tummy in the trolley.

When I when I say trolley porn, I mean picks of trolley's. Like you know how people say food porn. They're not fucking the baking an egg. You're right, I just call it food porn, an appealing meal. Tractor pawn that is actually perfect for what my it's back? Can I just say, oh really, oh a nice seguay into tractor pawn?

Hit me all right, go for it.

Is the concept of getting bogged really fucking weird to you.

Oh, I have a terrible bog story, so it's an awful experienced.

The reason I bring this up is because my dad posted a photo on Instagram. God I regret showing him how to use Instagram over Christmas. It's really getting amongst it. He and Comb sixty five. He posted a photo the other day of the tractor being bogged.

It's all that.

And I was like, like, when I lived on the farm, it was such a normal thing. Oh, dad's bogged. But now that I'm in the city, I'm just like, what the fuck? How do you get bogged? Like, I don't do any off road driving?

What your little astra? Now, I agree, what is bog bogged is when your back your tires get stuck in mud, right, and they just can't get any traction, so they just keep.

Yeah, there's no grip, they just keep spinning. So it's literally your car's stuck in the mud and they is the most revolting word known to man.

Bogged such a gross word.

It is such a gross term. I've never been bogged myself in.

My current the word bogged.

Welcome to bogs Anonymous, it's a safe space.

Thirty one, I six five? When have you been bogged?

Thirty? Bugg your dogs? Can I tell my bogging story really quickly?

Nah?

Okay, no that one.

I want to hear your bogging me and I just heard you rap it on about trolleys, But go on, let's hear about you being bogged. Rive it and shit this week, guys, welcome.

Do you think you could bog a trolley. Guess imagine walking home in the rain from Tolley and getting bogged in the mud. That would be awful.

Hi, sweetheart, you're gonna have to come pick me up and bogged the trolley bog? Do you reckon? You could get bogged on one of those mobility scooters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, well bogging bogging is because you can't get out of a vehicle and move it like you can't pick it up. But you could just get out and move your electric scooter or your trolley like, that's not really a bog.

If you need an electric scooter because you're an able body, you probably can't just get off and beat the thing out the moment.

He could bug anything.

I bogged a golf cart once.

Was that his name?

Wow?

What is going on today? We are ridiculous and we have guests coming on the show.

I'm s crazy.

Oh no, my bugging story now it's gonna be terrible. You know when you hype up a story then you tell it and it's not funny.

I'll calm down, I want to okay, Okay.

My family and I went around Australia when I was probably thirteen in a Winnie bago we hired one like a RV that sounds so Motorheim. Well, my sister was at the peak of like her boyfriend's stage was like sixteen, really cool. Didn't want to be there. I'm like, this is great. My little sister was plain around anyway. So my baby sister, Rachel was at the stage where she loved horses. Currently your stage, Tess.

Was she upset when you murdered that horse with your hefty frame?

Tobin? Well, she rode Tobin years before me, and I don't think he ever told her that I was the cause of his spinal kids. Anyway. So we were driving through the fucking art and I'm middle of Australia, and my little sister goes, oh, my god, horses, horses, look at the horses on the side of the road. And my dad, being the beautiful, soft centered, kind hearted family man that he is, goes, I'm going to drive and show my daughter to the horses. Little did we know

So you were trespath.

We were trespassing. Then it starts raining and we drive in. Look at the horses. Great, Oh it's raining. Let's get back in the car and go. So Dad tries to do a three point turn in this Maui care Pravan and it gets bogged, blocking the arterial road, reversing a chick Micheller fucking bogged and Rachel's going getting mud on the horses, and Becky was upset because she was texting this boy and there was no reception down there, and

Are you bogged on my good crop?

We had blocked the driveway and she had to drive to the hospital to take her sing an ailing daughter. And she goes, get in the car, get the EpiPen. Who the fuck are you? And Mum's out the front going.

Mud pack it up reverse Putever, Rachel's going, no, the horses are winnying, and this lady goes, you need to get the fuck out of the way, and we couldn't.

She's like, I'm so sorry to trouble you on my property.

So we had to call a fire truck to winch us out and his girl like she wasn't dying, but she obviously had some sort of reaction. She needed medical assistance, but we stopped her from doing so. I have photos. I'll pay them to the Facebook group. But sorry, Mitchell, I believe this was your ogin.

No, I'm hooked. How did you get unbogged in the end.

The fire, the fire truck came and winched to the front of it and pulled us up out. I think Dad sent her money. I mean, he sent her a lot of cash. But yeah, it was bad.

Yeah, that's the thing. You need something with more horsepower than the machine that's already bogged to get you out. And on Dad's Instagram the other day, he's bogged the tractor and the combine and he wrote on his Instagram caption thanks Jane for helping us out. And I was like, what the fuck would Jane have possibly offered to get you out of your bob Because you're in the tractor. That's the most hefty machine we own. What's hefty? And

Is It Just Me?

The podcast that debribes you for your please.

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Buye to go. This one is from Dewan Hellslop, a real name and a half.

Hello Dewan, Hello do one Hellslop.

I love it. Love listening to the podcast while I work. I work as a cleaner, so having both mitches in my ears and of course while I'm elbow deep in someone's dunny definitely brightens up my day.

Love Oh they're the synergy.

There only a new listener, so I've got many, many many hours ahead of me catching up and I couldn't be more excited. Keep it up, Old Dewan Hellslop. Congratulations, welcome to the club, Dewan well Slop. This one is from Lee Bartlett Short and Sweet on Facebook. She says, these guys are funny. I love watching them on Instagram. Live Sunday Nights takes the botom out of Lockdown. I'm addicted. Well done, You've won yourself.

That's all we need from you, babes, So easy, right, all right?

As we move on, don't forget. Today is the day you are not mistaken them. First Annual Moderator Games is on location this studio. That will be happening after we do an iGEM. Favorite of Silence. Yeah so.

Sound of Silence is a game that Mitchell Churry invented where you call someone and then when they ask you a question, you'll leave them hanging and see how long that silence will last before they hang up. And Mitch, even though you invented this game, I don't believe you've ever actually taken part.

I hate silences. I can't stand them. I freak out. I have to fill the void in any scenario, even the maca's voice pod.

Yes, and of course we know that you hate silence because you love a chat. And the reason that we're giving you the silent treatment is because last week in episode eighty, you decided it would be a good idea to turn price keeper Jenna's mic off for the entire episode.

I'm sorry, Jenna, oh sor, I've done it again. Sorry, Jen, my fault twice a shop. I didn't mean to. And the reason is Mitch's at home. Not that only to justify I mean, I'm terrible at it when when Mitch was in here, but it's a little different with Mitch being at home. There's some different buttons that I'm not used to. So that was it.

But you know what, can I we And you also don't have me there watching over your shoulder reminding you, yes, make how those buttons a right?

It's all on me. So this is exactly who should we fucking call?

Well, you're the one making the call, babes. You let me know who do you want to call?

I don't know who's open. Everyone's shut, Jenn.

Yeah, I know we can go somewhere in Perth.

Go somewhere in Oh my god, you know what. I had a foot long sub last so I know subway are open.

Oh my god.

All right, Jenna, can you google subway in Perth? Please?

No?

Sorry, sorry, that's your one job. No, I'm just riding the fanfic.

Shelley Kraft block fanfix the block she's actually doing.

That's right, Sorry, we already gave general's task. You're writing a fanfic. Okay, Well, I'm going to google subways in Perth. Okay, text them to me.

I love a good sub I've got an Italian BMT on the Italian herbs and cheese, honey, mustard, sauce, and a light assortment of edgies.

Okay, I've just texted it to you. Don't forget how it works as you chat for a bit, and then when they ask you a question like eat in or take away, that's when you take your sweet art time thinking of your response.

Correct.

When the sound of silence comes in and I.

Get one bridging term, one term that I can throw into the mix during the silence to cure your silence going.

You're allowed to extend the silence by saying one phrase and one phrase only, Okay, correct?

Excited can dot wigans?

Oh my god?

Only because I don't think I could bear to endure the silence. But when Dot enters, something chemically happens in my brain and I will not feel the pain.

The eighty year old she's here to rego?

Here she comes, Well, I don't take.

Your face master, dear here, yes said here, I'll move. Hello, hid, where's where's the boy?

I'm over here, Dot, I'm working from.

The I am.

I thought there was a window and another room.

Over there.

Hellow, darling, are you keen for the sound of silence? Call you're up? Dot?

Oh?

The amount of times I just decide to not say anything, and I live like a half the time anyway, So if I find this will be perfect?

Fat one boy? Can you I'm your grandson. Put the number in. I never knew that and built up present dying very loud in my ears, darling, not turn it down? Oh you mm hmm.

M.

Why is he laughing?

Girl?

Who where am I? My goodness me? It's a long one. Oh my tell central, Hello, darling, it's subway.

How are you?

I'm good? Thank you, darling. Question.

I was just on delivering my room and I was trying to buy a sandwich. But I couldn't decide on the or the sources.

The option of the Is it the Thousand Island or the honey Mustard? Is that the pick which picture I go for? Sorry?

What's in your sub?

A beeping in the background. You're not in the hospital, are you?

No?

I'm making some standwiches with the.

Pandemic, and I thought maybe you could be in hospital. Very loud, very loud, mask.

I'm torn between honey Mustards and Thousand Islands? Could you please give me the benefits?

Yes?

So?

What what's in your actual sub? Is it like a seafood? Is it all? What's in it?

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

You say that? Hello?

Oh?

I thought that was it? Please? What are we get to?

I forgot to time it. I'm urning my fan fit.

I'm not doing that again.

I'm going I'm so sorry. I was so enthralled with that.

I'm sure we can go back when this episode is live and we can time it. Man, I'm sure we can find Yeah, brilliant.

You guys couldn't hear me. I muted myself on zoom, but I was laughing the whole time in the background.

Oh good, bless you.

You know what?

He was so sweet, he was so nigh. He would have happily described the flavorable tones and differences between Thousand Island and Artie Mustard an idea.

I've ever even heard of Thousand Islands?

What's that?

I don't know.

I just freek.

I think that's cocktail source. That's what you have with frawns.

All right, Jenna? Is your fanfic ready now? Or should we do it after Mitch's fucked segment?

That's the one.

I've got a lot of it here.

Are you ready?

Yeah?

Why not?

Okay?

So who is the fanfic about? Which block stars?

It's about Scotty and Scotty Kenyon and Shana.

Oh so, Scott is the host of the show, and Shana is one of the judges, and she famously loves storage, loves places to hide things. Yes, maybe the type spaces, maybe really tight storage as she might be into, or big loose, sloppy cabinets her nuts.

I'm picking up what you're putting then.

But this is only chapter one?

Oh okay, Oh Jesus, our apology now, Jenna, I've got a couple of flavors. Is this is it more dirty? Is it more smutty than me?

Yes?

So this won't work? No, okay, that's fine. This is called the porn music.

Yes, why don't you play the block theme song? It's like.

They fucked to that. There we go, Shanea, Blaze and Scottie cam fucking on set.

Go on, Jenna, Okay, Scotty, I imagine this is quite typical for you to understand, but you don't mix played with stripes, and especially not when they're so gashly colored, Shana said, swiftly, taking the throw pillow from his hands and throwing it, throwing it against the freshly painted wall. This rehno had taken longer than expected, and their patience

Jenna, this sounds more like a police report than an eleatic novel.

An explicit video circulating the block's contestant script chat. Why are you taking this out on me, Scott asked, embracing Shaner. I'm just disappointed that video was meant for both of us, not for those bloody sluts.

It's not my fault.

I have a sweet stop.

It's not my fault.

I have a sweet spot for shells.

Sorry, where would the shells being Shelly Craft?

Yes, yes, oh, I thought you.

Meant act you will see shells like I was, like, Jesus, what are you doing with those clams?

Shane aside, attempting to change the subject. We're on set. We have to act professional. Yes, I'll show you what professional means to me.

That's the end.

Wow.

To be continued.

No no, no, no, no, no, no no no no no no, Wow.

Well done, jennass you yeah, Jenna, Why did you not pursue a career in being an author instead of being the world's most useless producer?

I know I should have.

Speaking of being a useless producer, Mitchell, your segment.

Good tying, ladies and gentlemen. It is in fact time for the first annual Moderator Games.

And what are the moderator games?

Good questioned Mitchell. As you know, we are a highly profitable business, privately listed on the Stock Exchange, and we need someone to manage our hustle and bustle Facebook group. A moderator which won't and quickly explain what a moderator does.

It basically means that they don't have the same privileges as the admins in our Facebook group, but as a moderator, they're allowed to delete comments and shit.

Oh here here, So we have decided our secret Facebook group Enduring to Idiots. If you're not part of it, join at E and d U are a nt idiots. It's a little community, but it's getting out of hand. Ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, the racism, the misogyny, it's all out of hand, and.

Someone to moderate. That is why we are throwing the first annual iGEM Moderator games and at all starts.

Now.

We have five contestants, or I like to call them tributes for all walks of life, all corners of Australia. They're patching in via zoom. Now, hello, tributes, can you hear us?

Yes?

Yes, Sam, they are I like that, so many of them. This is very exciting, this is this is a very thrilling moment for us all. There are five tributes. Why don't you introduce yourself. Let start with Charles. Hi, I'm Charles. I'm a year twelfth student and I've got Charles tomorrow.

Oh, dedication.

So it sounds like this is the busy time of year for you, Charles. It might be a big responsibility. Do you have time to moderate our filthy group?

They're online and you can cheat, so of course, Oh.

That's great.

Good.

Let's go to Steph. Hello, Steph, introduce yourself.

Hello, Darlan's I'm Stan.

All right, let's move on to Callum. Hello, Callum, introduce yourself. It's Callum. Recently out of school aspirring media student. So this could be the new start, like this could be my version of being the cash cock.

You know.

It's on your resume, babes, imagine the opportunities.

And Callum, I have to say, is one of two. Charles is also rapping the ijem merch the limited edition headphone sweater, so extra points for that.

Very impressive.

Connor healthcare worker introduce yourself. So my name is Liam. I work in mental health. Longtime idiot. Here, well done, Leon, Let the bugle play out. You're just a full dramatic effect, all right. And finally, in the bottom right corner of the zoom window we have Leon. Introduce yourself. Leon.

Hey idiots, how I'm Leon.

I used to I used to have my own radio show. I bloody love what you guys do. It's phenomenal.

I'm your resident homosexual pool boy here in Melbourne.

So I'm hum up with some some new adventures and so can I ask? Were you required to run the Facebook page in this old radio gig?

I was?

I had.

I had the Facebook page on the Instagram page, and I used to date someone, believe it or not who used to do the social media for Peter Hitchner. And when you guys always that episode where you are you did that that where he had that little incident.

Everyone thought he was having a stroke on air.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

A message this guy, and I say, hey, I know, like you know, I left you a break up message on Snapchat. But hey, how's Peter going?

Like you know, this is getting getting unfair. You've had extra time than the others, and I'm getting messages of complaints. I'm not believing, but I'm gonna have to cut you off.

I mean, so far, he sounds the most qualified, but it all depends on how they go with the games.

Right, exactly right. Thank you for resetting up, Mitchell. We now continue the first of three rounds. We begin with iGEM Knowledge egem, of course being is it just me the podcast in which you're on?

Now?

Yea, we fucking know your name is your buzzer. The first person to give the correct answer gets the point. Here's how it works. The two people how are you keeping school?

I am yep sharp.

The two people who have the least points at the end are eliminated. The least amount of points at the end eliminated. Are we ready to begin, Ladies and gentlemen say I yes, ye, all right For the first point, who was our first ever guest on the first episode of Jim Callum or Callum? Was it ben Fordham Calum? It was Ben fo well done? Question two? Think about it? In what episode did Jenna move from the producer's pit into the studio?

Oh?

That was okay, we go. Let's go with Steph first.

It was episode ten.

Okay, write that down because it's closest to this is like the jelly bean jar. Thank you, Steph. I think a Leon was next. We'll go with you Leon.

Liam.

It was Liam, sorry Leam, very similar named? Yet is that going to get confusing? I don't know.

I think it was episode five, got.

It five right down?

Five?

By the way, Yes, Liam and Leon are going to get confusing, So should we name one of you fuck face?

Yeah?

I think that's I think that's only a good point.

Hands up, who wants to be fuck face?

Leon's hand is so high in the sky right now, it's congraduation. Or should we say fuck face? Callum? Give us a number?

Oh?

Episode eleven, Episode eleven, nice, let's go with Charles now episode eight?

All right?

The answer, you're all wrong. Jenna moved into the producer's pit in episode twelve. The closest there I believe is Tala loove Callum two points. Well done, Callum, thank you, thank you.

I work hard, if my memory serves me correctly. The reason that Jenna has moved into the studio in that episode with because Cherry was running late and I got fucked off, so I was like, let's start without him.

Yeah, that is what happened. Remember I came in and you didn't start the episode again. I had to jump in halfway through, like a straight tabby cat coming home after a couple of days out. Just nap back to normal, all right. Question three, Speaking of cats, what was the name of Jenna's first deaf cat? Callum? Wow, callum? Yeah, dear Crumpet, I miss him? Do you Crumpet? Is correct? Wow?

Crumpy Wow.

Question four. My grandmother most commonly referred to on the show as Olma, which is Dutch for grandmother Olma one which modeling title in nineteen thirty nine?

Buck face?

Oh that's fuck face? Yes, go for folks. Was it Miss Denmark? Miss Denmark is close by close incorrect? Liam Liam? Was it Miss Sweden? Miss Sweden? Also incorrect? It was Mith Dubbo. Was it Miss new Holland? Oh my god, it was Miss new Holland?

How did he know this?

And I didn't even know that to be fair?

Question five one of the hardest questions, Get rid of buzz in quickly with your names? Which Mitch is famous with a radio show. Oh I heard Charles first say my name Charles is God? The answer is chery.

Are we the one round one?

Yes?

How many fucking questions are?

There's many? Come through them'll pump through them. Name Hue gift the two Mitches gave Jenna for her latest birthday, steph go for it.

Oh god, her latest birthday.

Latest birthday wasn't the killer the cookies, the killing cookies. Last birthday can't take face seriously, Yes, what was yours?

It was the fake message from Bree Larssen.

OSSA give it to you. It was the fake signed Captain marvel Field. Question seven? Who has guest hosted the show more times? Abby Chatfield?

Oh, we haven't given you the option.

Given we've already given it that penfold is correct, Well, don't even need the or she knew She's done three episodes. Abby has guest hosted two. All right, now, Jenna, can you give us a score update?

Okay, we have got Liam on zero, Steph on one, Leon also known known as fu Face on one, Callum on four, and Charles on one.

Okay. Interesting?

See Jenna, I don't know if you're familiar with this, but usually you do it in order from like winners to loses.

Over the shop. Let's continue on moving along now. Question eight. This one is a challenge. First person to shout out the answer and the best answer gets a point reset the drone for dramatic effect. Name a fake town?

Go, hey, Mitch, was it meant to be they invent their own town name? Or they name one that you've invented in the past. Oh?

Interesting, I'd like to test our moderator to name their own town, name a brand new one. Liam is in next, go Liam Tristle, Truffle team next Tristleton. Yes, after Tristleton had the Christmas fire, Yes, they said trauma. I said we better make a second in case it burns fully burnt out, and it's didn't. But now there is the second next. It's very confusing for roadmaps, but yeah, I'm gonna say it's next to Lake Boger Barodine.

Yes, the COVID hoarses.

This is so fucking stupid. I'm sorry, Well done, well done.

I'm very impressed. That brings us guys to the end of the first round. Let's get a let's get a score update, Jenna, and please start from top.

So we've got four people with one point.

All right, that's fine. Callum automatically progresses who has two?

They all have one?

Okay, that's fine. We'll just do a rapid fire round.

They're all just gonna have to carry on to round two.

You aren't.

Yeah, this is a fucking disaster.

This is horrendous.

All right, Well, everyone's carrying on. There we go. It's going to be five months at the end of this.

This is ridiculous. Round two as our moderator, You'll need to have a very very tight grasp on social media and how it works. That's why social media knowledge is round two. Let's begin. Question number one. Your name is your buzzer? What is the difference between a Facebook page and a Facebook group?

Step go on.

A Facebook group is more secret, more secure? You have to ask permission to join in a Facebook page.

Anyone can view it? Correct?

Correct, well done, Well done, She climbs to victory. Question two. Let's move on promptly and swiftly. Instagram recently introduced a new feature that allows you to give monetary support during Instagram belongs. Oh, Liam, without the rest of the question, what's the answer, you cocky bitch? Is it badgers? No, it's swipe up now it's badges yet? Well done, Liam?

Steph Okay, can I swear it?

I would say, get fucked, cunt. You're not in the right Facebook page.

That's a point, that's good, Well done. Question four, what is the number one reason that you should always refuse someone's request to join endurant idiots Liam, Liam Liam. If they get the questions wrong, but.

There's four questions, we need the number one four questions, Lilliam, we'll go.

We'll go with Charles.

If they do not know what the secret segment at the end of the podcast, remember, correct, what secret segment?

Yeah, Sam, No, that was the question.

We don't have a secret segment.

We don't have a secret secret. Yeah, that's that's.

All right.

Let's move on to question number five on what social media platform does Coombs have more followers than churim step It's TikTok. Well incorrect, We'll go with fu face.

Instagram.

Well, I mean, let's let Charles got in first. We want an overarching answer Charles YouTube. Well, yes, technically we want to Liam, Liam Liam.

Is it Facebook?

I mean, yeah, city is. Thanks for rubbing it in. We don't really need to go over all of them. Does anyone have made.

This multiple choice and said all of the above.

That's the answer is.

No.

I have a very big four square presence. I've got a good amount of connections on LinkedIn. Fucking hell. All right, Well, that ends the second round. Let's get a score up day.

So now three people get removed. Jenna, Well, we've got it from Polemic.

Oh just read it to us, read us the scores and we can we can go from the winner to the losers.

Okay, with four points.

Callum, calums through the third round.

Correct, next with three points, Steph. And this is where the problem lies. With two points, there's two people who do we have? Liam and Charles? Sorry, fuck face, Well.

That brings us to the awkward part of the ceremony. Fuck face, please please stay your presence.

I was rooting for you. You're a qualified one.

And fuck face officially in accordance of the Moderator Games rules.

Sorry, he's dead.

He's been removed and zoom gives me the option to report.

Him and a half.

I want I want to be fully transparent there half I have Now, Mitchell, it's up to you here as the hosts of the show.

You and are okay, I am a host of the show. But just so you know, I've got no idea what the fuck is going on with this whole segment, So like, what do you want me to do?

Do we sorry tunnel Liam and Charles? Or do we give them a lightning round chance to progress to the final round.

Are Liam and Childs tied? Yes, yes, yeah, fuck them off.

Guys.

You but I'm sorry, sorry, sorry tunnel Charles, You're out, so sorry, Charles, and that leaves me out.

With our final term.

You're reporting them as well.

Yeah, they've both been reported and we have Steph and Callum. Congratulations our two victors, Peter and Catness. Catness. It's a Hunger Games all right. Here we stand with the final round looming in front, which we will now begin. In order to win the role of the is It just Me group moderator, you must for next week's show. You have a week to do, so book us a guest to appear on the program in seven days time. Best guest wins, you become the moderator. Good luck. Do you

I accept?

And then, oh my god, Mitchell, this is this is just you being lazy. You're a guest, okay, and you're palming it off to our listeners.

No, I'm out of.

Decisions.

I'm so excited. So that's the end of the games.

Guys, Wait, hang on, hang on, Sorry, I'm just wondering this. This feels unfair when you say, guest, do you mean celebrity?

Listen, We're a fun show. Someone say a comedy podcast. Some some make us laugh, entertain us. It could be your local Grengrosser, it could be Ellen Degener. Think about it and impress us. And the winner. You must have your guest on Zoom will work, phone will work. We're not picky, and we will decide using our judgment whose guest was best, and you will then become the moderator. You will get full access for twelve months and a commemorative season three mug awesome.

I accept this challenge.

How do we feel.

I'm confident?

Yeah, I'm confident. Look, I mean all the best is Steph, but I do know that she is going to lose, unfortunately.

All confidence.

Imagine if Steph with Shania Twain's niece and she's like, I'll just catch you.

Die dose. I am related to Ned Kelly.

He's long gone. I think you'll find.

Does that count because I think Jenna knew him in a past line we gated for. You were the one that made him. My uncle Jeff was the one that made him. You made him the bucket hat, the helmet did handmade.

So that was you that made it Jenna, Yes, yes, no, no, no, hey Jenna, yes did Ned? Kelly the bush Ranger range your bush Italy.

We don't talk about that.

Ned was very conservative. I mean I've heard some stories.

Was Ned cut or uncut?

Find out anyway, you guys. Book is a guest and we'll chat to you again next week.

Well done, guys, you are playing. You will not be sorry. Tunneld you can leave it your own and we will move.

A gunshot sound just kill me.

They've been well done, Wing Michelle. It's ridiculous.

Can I just say, and I say this with all due respect, yea, our listener's fucking dumb because why are they battling for this prize? It's not a prize, it's basically like a task. You do realize that we're exploiting them, like social media moderators are paid jobs and they're here battling it to do it for free. Like are they fucking stupid? Why do they want this?

You know we've all been there. I did the same that they used to show unpaid worked my backside off.

That's all I've got to say that the moderator games may not be ethical, but they are fair. They are still here lingering, so we should say goodbye, goodbye, guys.

Goodbye, congratulations, well done.

But they're gone.

I thought you hung up on them before. I call them all fucking stupid.

All right, Mitchell, are you all all Google? See you next week?

Yeah, just making sure I'm kind of required.

You are the point we do an easy I guess, I guess we are a couple of Mitch's.

I mean, if you want to give me the week off, just let me know if I'm getting too much.

No, no, no, you're not. No, no, we in fact we need more. All right, we should get out of here. Congratulations to those who competed in the game. Continue next week. Thank you for listening. Go we get leaves five star review. Potentially when you sell for marg it keeps us going and supports us, which we adore. And we'll see you next week for eighty two.

We'll catch you then, guys, it's going to be a big week.

Is it just me?

Podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast up.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on the end. Most people ideally aren't here anymore, but if you're still here, that's fine, you've discovered the secret. You're welcome to stay.

Correct, this is the after party of the year ten formal that you were invited to. It could just go home and no one will judge you and no one will care. Because the after party could be great, it could be life changing, but it also could be the time that you see your best friend tailed and you get finger behind the bush.

It also says a lot about you whether you decide to stay or go, because if you decide to leave, it means that you're like, nah, I've had enough. But if if you want to be here for the filthy shit and all the fun stuff, Hey, welcome to aid dbris.

Which I've noticed that you're leaving the pause to be longer and longer every week. I was listening the other day and got to the end. I'm like, fuck, is there anything else to want? I did it, and I'm not sure what's coming up. How long is the break? I don't know.

I never time it. I just kind of look on the screen where you can see the audio waves. I'm like, yeah, there's a bit of silence. Might just do ten minutes one day to take the piss.

Oh my god, we'll go off air track at the radio station. We have a backup crack. If we go off air and it just boots into a random song. It's so horrific.

How much silence is required for the backup tape to kick in?

Seven seconds?

Seven that's all.

Yep, it's more on WSFM, is it?

Yeah? No, it's seven seconds at KISS and I know the exact song that starts it ready, so ha.

Off air, it just goes into Camillaica maya have.

Father Well wsf MS, there's this solid rock by Goenna.

So yes, as soon as you hear this opening wait and you know that, you know it's off off air, so you know you're going to find it.

Mitch.

Sometimes it repeats like three times.

So when you know when you hear this, oh, we're off there s Maybe it's had a strong we're off air.

This sounds so triggering.

What a choice.

Maybe we should have a backup tape for our podcast, but instead of us being off air, because that doesn't really happen. We're a podcast. It can just be when I'm sick of what you're talking about, kind of like the Oscars music.

Yes, oh yeah, we can just play this.

Along.

I don't even know giggling. Why don't we just throw to the traffic. I love that. If it's boring, we just w s FM time the traffic. Imagine if I did that with Jones and Amanda last week, and then I was railed by my husband on my wedding time saber traffic. Actually, with all due respect Jonesy the lovely man, but there are a couple of stories that could have

I was looking at your face saying those stories, and I was like, he's non interested.

Do you know what I noticed last week when Jones and Amanda were on the show, and I found it so funny, just Amanda Kella being so impressed with the concept of zoom. She was like, we spoke to Dolly Parton and we could see her it was a zoom. Yeah, yeah, that's been around for a while. It sounded so to her.

Amanda Keller is so emotive and as soon as you started talking about your story with that song, your your pick, Mitch, she then instantly had a story read go yeah, that woman is so emotionally intelligent. Like being in the same room as her, she sucks all the energy because she's just so enigmatic.

I didn't feel sucked by Amanda one bit. I mean, speak for yourself.

What have I'm sucked by her?

Daily?

Oh?

We had Mitch and I were only planning yesterday. We're like, what are we going to do? Planning on the phone. We knew we had the moderator games, we had too fucking much.

What ah, Yeah, that always happens. We think, oh, we didn't have enough, and then we just keep banging on. It was actually we were talking about when are we going to record this week, and like, do you want to do tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, cool, sounds good. So what are we doing?

Yeah? I was like, oh shit, I forget that we have to do that shit eighteen. Can you believe we've done eighty one shows?

No grace, I can't believe it.

It doesn't feel like many, because eighty one days is like, you know, only two and a bit months, But eighty one weeks, and.

I feel like we've left it too late in the year to like end season three and then start season four. So if anything, Jo, can we just take a couple of weeks off before Christmas and then we come back for a bit and then finish.

Yeah, I think so we're talking about that. We don't know when to end. We last week's episode we should have ended on because it was so good. It was Hayden, it was Amanda and Jonesy, and Jenna was silent. Jenna was silent, perfect, and it was eighty It was a clean number. Then we could have come back for season four and done twenty episodes and gotten to one hundred.

I'm going to what's the most chaotic number we could end season three on?

Like eighty seven?

Eighty seven is a good number.

Yeah, that's a shit number.

It's not dying at eighty seven, Like, fuck, you're better off dead at twenty eighty seven. Sorry it did eighty seven's or even eighty eight.

I think eighty nine.

Listen, guys, what a great, great show.

Yes, yeah, when.

Do you reckon? I'm going to be able to see you guys again. It's been like a month now and it's probably going to be another month.

It has been so long. I don't think city is getting out of lockdown until we hit those the vaccination targets, which is kind of scary when you think about it. So we have now essentially in New South Wales decided that zero cases, zero daily cases isn't attainable and we are now just going to live with COVID and once we hit eighty percent vacts, which is potentially end of October early November, everyone's she's going to go into society and if you're not vax that's your decision. You'll probably

Yeah?

Yeah, I think that's putting the onus back on everyone else because everyone's mad now that oh, the government are controlling us, and it's like, well, no, they're not anymore. It's on new bitch, get the jab or three.

Yeah exactly.

Yeah, but we can't see every other country has done that, Like I thought earlier on Twitter, Lady Gaga tweeting something about her Las Vegas residence. He's coming back, and I was like, doesn't America still have many many deaths a day? And here we are in lockdown? Like what and you're doing your stupid jazz and piano on the fucking stage in Vegas, Like.

What, Yeah, everything's everything's back to normal. They've just reopened. The UK has done it too.

Yeah, they were like, ah, fuck it.

I know people in the UK who are going on holidays to Portugal.

And all that. Oh I agree, but like that we have been given ample choice to get vaccinated due to a booked in, So get fucking vax and if you're anti vax, then roll the dice and potentially die and then see how much of a fucking you know, just a.

Colder And he stopped saying that we're forcing you to get vaccinated. Nobody's forcing you, ridiculous, it's just something that society like we need as a community.

Mitch, didn't you lose the follower this week because you posted something about vax Yes?

I posted a song parody on Instagram. It was two total Eclipse of the Heart and I said, what was the last lyric? My hairs fucking mess zoom trevia makes me feel dumb. I was like, what rhyme's it's dumb. Anti vaxes are scum And someone was like, anti vaxes are not scum. That's a very inappropriate comment from you. I used to like you, and I was like, get out of my face, Mutt. I was like, you've got sick kids at home. Your anti vaxx are fuck with.

Yes, I agree that educate yourselves employees. If you're listening to this and you're not yet convinced, read the fucking medical journals.

And don't get your advice off some random Facebook group. Correct, Like, just don't.

Imagine if people were taking their life advice from this show, rist.

Just dead, No wage would bless them. You have people just like sleeping in coffins for fun.

Ridiculous yea, kicking dogs and shit pits.

No one kicked my dog into the septic tang.

I don't know about that.

It was an accident.

Have a theory that my brother's cat, Max murdered the dog, John, But what do.

You think the cat killed it and then dragged its corpse.

No, there was no dragging. The cat would have just pushed him into the open septic tank and let him drown.

Oh my god, you know the cat.

We were inventing this story again. There was no dragging of the corpse. Dad found it in the septic tank, chewing in our fu.

More likely that this cat would have bitten its neck and then dragged it into the shippit to hide the crime, rather than it's picking its pour up and pushing it.

In fingerprint the dead dog. It's fine. The cat wasn't gonna get caught.

You would.

I can't wait for the day that you eventually come visit my hometown, Bogen Gay, and I will show you the very septic tank.

Oh my god, Let's do a show from the septic tank.

From the stic tank, and.

I'll conduct a full investigation. I'll find out who killed David.

John's the cats still alive.

Unfortunately, I can't stand that, can't still? Let's yeah, still? What about how the dog came through to me? Via Mitchell Kombs A.

Yeah, why have we had two one? Why have we had sidekicks on the show? And each of them get to me and go nap Barren wasteland of nothing.

I've got nothing from you.

I see an iceberg and I can't penetrate it. Like what, I'm very lovely and gregorious.

Yeah, like they get oddly specific about Jenna and I did like Jenna, you gotta you got a bill today from the good guy. You owe them? Mitchell nothing, and.

Then they fucking get Oh I'm getting something through four sheets of double glazed window glass. Sam, your dad was a penistle.

I forgot about that.

Like, no, I hate it. I'm gonna take dead Clay and the Kiss new it's her birthday tomorrow and she'll get a pair of shoes.

You're like Bella on Twilight. You're the only person whose thoughts they can't read. What happens to her in the end she gets immortalized after being bitten by her husband who was a vampire. So you know there's that.

I've never seen the Twilight franchise, to be honest.

Yeah, no, I don't rush off.

What did Hayden and I rewatch the other night? The Scream movies. God, they're good.

I've never seen that.

Oh they're really They're really good. They're not scary. It's got cheap thriller, like it's a bit dumb, but I loved it. I think it's brilliant.

Have I either of you started watching Nine Perfect Strangers yet? Because I really want Tone Wentworth. So I'm busy Nine Perfect Strangers.

Oh yes, I'm I'm up today.

Nor I love Worth. I can't wait for the Freak to return, but I have not seen Nine Perfect Strangers. I just finished The White Lotus and adored it.

Oh you liked it, didn't I recommend that to you?

Yeah?

You did. But I had also heard the theme music on TikTok and it was like kind of trance to me. I'm like, God, I feel like I have to watch this now.

Unpopular opinion. Everyone online has been saying how iconic the White Lotus theme song is, but I found it so irritating, like I couldn't stand it. That was my least favorite part of the show. It wasn't just at the start opening credit to see if you can find anywhere.

Yeah, they'd play it in pivotal scenes that had just someone I don't know get their towel at the beach, and then it would be like.

It was the sweeper as well.

Yeah, it's kind of creepy, like it makes me want to kill someone.

Ogon, I could do an impression of it. You're ready, my god?

You know the weird part about this match, all this part it's like greeting.

It sounds like Jenna when we scold her, She's like h.

Sounds like dot while the phone's are in here. Since she was down my spine. You know, I didn't realize there was six episodes. I thought there'd be nine. So when the I won't spoil it. But when that horrific moment happens in the very final episode, I'm like, oh, I can't wait to see how these pans out. Final episode, I had no idea. I thought. I'm like, oh, they're all going home. This will be weird. We're going to follow their journey when they get back to their houses

I was actually thinking about that the other day. It's quite smart to make a TV show set in a location, so like the White Lotus, if one of the cast members says I'm not coming back, then it's fine. You just get new people in the hotel. Same with Wentworth. If one of the cast mates is like, I'm not coming back, whatever, get new prisoners. It's fine. But shows like McLeod's Daughters, when one of the daughters leaves, it's like,

Yeah, I tend to agree with you.

I really killed that conversation. They didn't.

I just looked at the time and I was listening to you. It's a great story.

I haven't seen the show, but I really want to because I heard about Wentworth or White Loadus White Loatus.

I love Wentworth, Wentworth.

Great, My entire family loves went Worth and the Freak. Oh my god, back gone back, gone, She's back. Jesus Christ.

Do you remember when we were at the Logis a couple of years ago. Mitch and I didn't have Foxtel at the time, and Wentworth kept being mentioned, like as they were up for rewards. They were awards, and I was like, what the fuck is this show? I've never heard of it. Why is the Offspring winning?

Yeah?

I got in the lift with the Freak. It was brilliant.

Really. I met the cast. I think it was like the season one or two casts.

Because that's when you were sentenced to prison.

Yes, so it was real life and they wanted some advice.

Wow a story. Yeah, all right, let's get out of here. Thank you for partaking in eighty one. What a great show. Thank you to those who will be returning next week. I'm very excited to see what guests abroad one who will be yes?

I can't wait to see if our exploitation of our listeners pays off mystery guests.

When is it not? Thank you for listening. We will see you guys next week. Have a great week to stay so get backs if you can, and we'll see you for eighty two.

Catch you then, guys, thanks for listening.

We hope this podcast makes you feel it's all say together.

At all, at.

Least at least today.

All right, who great? Next week?

Wait?

Chok is when you're like saying good luck on the new job, that doesn't way?

Just tatter tata. Alright, see you guys, But.

It asked me a podcast by a couple of meters.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.