#72: What Colour Is Maths?

People do some weird shit. Television legend Carrie Anne Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pippot.

Some things that make more sense than others bring Pikes, nurseries, Percy Pikes, p y.

K e s Hey, why I Hey, as in kill hey why.

Okay?

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults?

Food?

Why is your life so expensive?

I'm not even having a good time. This is just a couple of mitches. What about me?

Don't forget.

No, he is mixture and outlay here for seventy two.

Hello, Welcome to the show once.

Again, freshly back from Brisbane. Mitchell Kurb's looking beautiful brown.

I'm so jet lagged.

You've got and see that the Brisbane what's it called? The Bowmorl River or the Brown River in the middle.

I think it's just the Brisbane River, isn't it?

Is that what it's called?

I think so? But you know, I just came back from Brisbane my stand up comedy gig and my drag performance.

Is it we glue in your hair?

Still there is still a little bit really Yes, If you weren't listening last week, it was my first stand up and then after intermission had to get into drag. It was called the switch up, so we'd, you know, go from being comedian to a drag queen. First time I've ever done that.

Yeah, you were really throwing yourself in the deep end doing both for the first time. Yeah.

That was my first proper stand up too, But I abandoned the drag name that I came up with on this show.

Right, which I thought was very funny.

It was originally going to be a failure pause, and then it was going to be a feel your box and then right at the last minute because I knew I was doing a Mum and mea inspired number, yeah, based off Meryl Streep, and I was like, uh, Feral Streep.

It's brilliant, that's perfect, It's brilliant. I felt so upset. It's like when your friend breaks up with someone but doesn't tell you and you see You're like, where's dead? But they're like, we're not together anymore? Like you were like, I'm feral Stree.

I didn't know about that our third Wheel prize. Jenna's here, guess what dinner what? I was at the venue and they're like, mister koons, we have a delivery for you in your dressing room, and it was hold on they travel. Well, look, let's see the flowers from Mitchell Chirefore they didn't.

Know you had that.

Yeah. I chucked them in my suitcase and I was like, if they die, they die. If they don't, they don't, and look at them thriving. But the card said, oh, congratulations you congratulations on your debut Ophelia. I was like, ah, I've changed the name.

Sorry, lovely, my delivery didn't arrive.

Yeah, I did note that. You've forgot that.

I know it was delayed.

Don't you jump on that either. That was me. That took me four hours and a passport to order, Yeah, because I wanted to get a prosecco with it. And then they were like, oh, just we need a photo of your of your passport to make sure you're over eighteen. I'm like, why am I fucking life? They wanted part like ten points of identification that same.

Do you ever think to yourself, I have no idea where my birth certificate is.

Oh my god, I never need it today. Mine used to be in like a silver cylinder. Did you guys have that? Don't think so mine was like in a silver tube can. A stand was on one of the shelves and I think I opened it one day and it wasn't even fucking in there.

Yeah, Like, I seriously, I have no idea where it is not. Can I just say Brisbane as much as I love Brisbane, Like that's the only other city that I would consider living in other than Sydney.

Really, you did put some inster stories.

I've always loved brisney Land, but they're so behind. Because I forgot my wallet, like my traditional acoustic wallet, and I was like, well, it won't be a problem because I don't even remember the last time I used it because everything's on my phone now, my bank cards, my driver's license, it's all digital. Huh. Everyone was so confused by how all that shit worked in Brisbane and I pulled out my ID on my phone like you Ken in New South Wales at the club, They're like, what's that?

The same person.

Yeah, exactly. They're very behind that on a digital licenses they're checking system is all right.

That's what I was going to say, because I was only the Brisbane a month ago for whatever I was filming up there, and I had to check them with a pen and paper. Yeah, like it was prohibition.

They don't have QR.

Con some places, but the sushi restaurant I was at did not.

Yeah, no, they're a bit backwards.

We love our Brisbane listeners stuff and coming to the show you got to meet some idiots.

Yes, I did a bunch of them with their callum Lochlan Bailey. There was a whole bunch. It was lovely. I got presents from them too. I felt very love Can.

We talk about your drag or what did you enjoy the drag performance? Yeah?

I did. It was I was kind of like, oh, thank god it's over because it's not something I'm going to do again in a rash because I can't do makeup for shit like I had someone doing it for That's what.

I was going to ask. You had a drag queen doing it right?

Yeah?

And then I shout the Justine diva, Oh funny they did two hours worth of makeup in thirty minutes. Forty Yeah, actually, can I tell you? I was very late on stage, so like, Mitchell, you're on in two minutes, and I said, the hosts are going to have to pad out. I didn't realize that that's just radio lingo. They were like,

And so they threw another intermission, which worked because then everyone was a bit more pissed by the time I came on stage.

But no, it went well. It was good, good.

I saw a little bit of it. You're beautiful. You actually did it for be your first time in drag. I'm not even kidding. I did not know what was your You're tat thank you.

You know what they said to me beforehand, So will you need help talking?

Oh?

I said, pardon me? Oh no, I didn't know that tucking was a thing. Holy shit, what an awful thing to do to your body. But what did It's like male genital mutilation?

What were you wearing? I don't remember now.

I was wearing a dress and I had like some bike shorts on underneath, like some skins.

So did you have to tuck? Could you've just let it out?

Oh?

No, I didn't tuck. I refuse. I said, your fucking hands away from my junk. I shan't be tucking with a roll of duct tate. Can you explain what tucking is? I don't really know.

Yeah, because I'm a massive drag raffan tucking is where because when you're in drag, it's all about female illusion, and you know, classic females don't have the bulge.

I get female illusion every day in my life. People think I'm a woman, I need to tuck the junk.

No, but these queens are in one piece of catsuits, right, So if you know, they're all very massive penises, so they're going to tuck them away. So what you do is you get apparently like heaps of pieces of duct tape and you make like a cup, right, and then you put it on your penis and then you literally spread your cheeks and pull it up in between from what I've seen and been told, in between your your crack, and then you get masking tape, stick it on the pad in front of it, and then you tape it

But that's not the worst part. Apparently you have they put their balls back in in where That's what I thought. Well, you know how when you go through puberty they say your balls drop. I've heard they just basically undropped them and just kind of put them up. And I'm like, I don't want to know where that is. I don't even know how to do that, and I'm not introuting.

In the little sockets that might have been there before. You know what, like it's really cold and you're swimming, or you're like you're in a cold pool, they're like little egg cups and they just slop back up. That has happened to me in the past.

Well, either way, it wasn't happening. I said, no fucking way, I'm not tucking.

Way.

I was the only untucked queen Jesus.

Well, if it is your first time listening welcome to Is it just me? We start the show the same way every week, two gyms? Or is it just me? Is I jam something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's mine? Is Mine is odd and it's kind of a mind fuck. But once you get your head around it, I think it'll make sense. And it's something that I've thought for years.

Do you want to go first? Or should I?

I'll go first. You've done a lot of talking that Tuckings mentally scarred me, so I will go first. Is it just me? Is the number nine? Boy?

What?

Yeah?

Eah? Three?

Three is a girl?

No?

I think three?

I get boy from three girl? Really? Yep? Thirteen boy girl, I see girl for thirteen.

They've all got their own energy.

I agree. So you guys agree with me? Oh my god, this is a whole thing. Do you know? This is called ordinal linguistic personification?

Yeah, them all across that. I've had a lot of arguments with people about what color aligns with each day of the week, and also what color aligns with each subject in school? Like, what what book covering do you put on your maths?

Blue?

Red?

Orange?

Maths is red? You dog? Maths is so blue orange?

Don't be ridiculous.

What's green?

English?

Yeah? I can see English or yellow? I could do yellow with.

Green.

No, this is a whole thing, and apparently there are whole categories about this ship. It's called synesthesia is the overarching theme. So some people who have synesthesia can feel sounds. So if you play something, it actually causes them pain or in some cases pleasure. So like birds, humming and tweeting can get people off.

Oh it's not sexual pleasure, is it.

They can yet, or they can get a stomach ache. People can get physically sick. It's the same with colors. People can get physically sick or aroused.

What about days of the week? Ready, Monday colors? I just want to hear from you first, okay, and I'll tell you if you're right or wrong?

And these are we doing colors?

Yeah?

The days of the Monday?

Okay, Monday's blue.

I would say so, Tuesday yellow?

Oh?

No, Sunday, Oh Sunday, No Sunday Sunday true no, but I'm not a no. This is just Wednesday, Wednesday. From Wednesday, I wake up good morning.

On Wednesdays, we wear red pink.

If it's not associated to pop culture.

No, I already had it associated with pink before Mean girls.

Yeah, Thursday's green. Don't know why it's coming.

To No, it's purple, purple Friday. Surely we can agree on this red. Yes, it's red. Saturday. Saturday is green.

Yep, Saturday's green. I picked green all like an aqua.

Well you've done Thursday and Saturday as green, you dig I can't be right. It's coming to men.

You know what else is weird the way you align days of the week in your head. So when you think Monday through Thursday, what are you picturing in your head? Because I am literally picturing the days of the week like hung up. They're floating like it's a calendar. And I picture Monday through Sunday. I can them, And when I go, oh my god, I got something on Thursday, my brain will literally go to Thursday.

I don't know. I don't see that. I don't know what I see. I just think about it. I thought it's like a podcast. It's audio only, really, you don't see things well, like I imagine things, but I'm not seeing them. Yeah, right right, I don't know how to explain it.

But also this is how it started for me. I was driving to work today and it was three fifty seven, and I knew I had to be at work at four h five, right, And I said to myself, Oh, okay, then I've got eight minutes to get to work. But how would you work that out? If it's three fifty seven and you've got to be there at four or five? How would you work out how many minutes minus? What would you minus.

The fifty seven to what is it to four h five?

Then six?

Seven eight three? Yeah, nine eight seven?

What?

Then You've lost me? Sorry?

Okay, so you've got to get to work by four or five and it's three fifty seven, So how i'd work it out? I go, well, I've got five minutes after four and then it's three minutes, so that's hey, that's how I do it. I'd grab the five that I have and then add the three that we're missing. Is that what you do?

I probably just wouldn't.

You'd just be late.

I'd be like, you're lucky, I'm coming really Oh my god.

Well, apparently the way people add and create numbers is unique to yourself. It's so individual. There's not one way to do it. Is that crazy? Imagine there'd be more to this.

I was finding the color association way more interesting, okay, and then you were like, oh, but calendars.

And I'm like, nah, I found I like the maths thing. Yeah, because everyone considers it differently.

Yeah, how would you get to that? How would you get.

There doing minus?

What would you minus?

Though?

Jenna? So it was free fifty seven as the current time headche and you've got to be somewhere at four oh.

Five, okay, So I would do my seven and then minus two is five?

Right, yeah, so it would be eight because it's so you'd pick.

The five from four oh five. Oh my god, one hundred and seven boy tough Dom Top Boys one oh seven? Futs?

What color is June green?

Now?

No, no, what do you think it is? We can't get into it. We could be here all day in.

All of us do all? Right?

Well?

I got my jer man yours?

Yep?

Is it just me?

Are inside dogs?

No?

Good, Jenny, you did this and this is very targeted because Jenna just bought her flea ridden mut of a thing in this fucking studio, and I did not find it cute at all. I, on the other hand, loved Tiger.

Yes, Mitch didn't love it.

Why I know why I've just come full one eighty because when I was a kid, I used to bring my little dog inside, and little dogs to this day, I think it's fine inside they're fine. But big dogs. I would always say to Mum and dad, Oh, why can't we bring all the dogs in? Why is it just my little one allowed? Now? I'm like, nah, get them out, all of them.

Serious.

No, little ones are fine, I said that, But yeah, big dogs in the house unless they're ones that are kind of well trained and sit on the little bed in the corner. But when they get there, then they get their huge fucking snout up in your business. It's like, nah, get out of my face. I seriously. I have a friend who has a husky.

Oh they're hairy dogs, and.

He thinks it's so cute. But that thing's a monster. Like that thing puts my friend's mother in hospital because it like jumped up trying to be playful. It's one of those dogs that thinks it's a small dog doesn't realize how destructive they are, and I don't find that bazard cute at all. It ripped my sock off my foot, and my friend's like, hah, he's just being playful, and I'm like, he's attacking me.

Oh, I hate that. When I have a friend who has a ferret that would not stop biting my fingers and she thought it was hilarious. I'm going to get tetnus and I'm going to need a tetness get rabies from this animal just giggling her head off.

Oh my god, I don't know what's happened to me. I've just become so intolerant for it.

But Jenna's dog didn't start this. You've had this for it's been brooin for all. Yeah.

Like I have a family friend as well, but I visit often, and every time I get there, I'm like, oh, I forgot there's a fucking dog because it's still young and so it's really playful and again doesn't realize how big it is. It walks through the lounde room wagging its tail, knocking shit over, and it'll come up to me and just stick its fucking head in my face and my friend's like, oh, just give him a pat and I'll leave you alone. I was like, no, that's

But on the other hand, inside dog can be the fucking worse. Nothing worse than going to a house party walking in him. Missus giant's great to see, mister, beautiful house. Thank you for having us. Oh you've got a dog, little white Maltese, crusting eyes, always named Poco. It's just purged on the king furniture puff and you go up and pack Coco stinks of a wet tow and you go, I want to kick this thing off the balcony. There's nothing nice about a crusty eyed, wet Maltese. I'm sorry.

I don't mind a little dog in the house, but as long as it minds its own fucking business a bit like, I'll give it attention. I'll come to you and say hey, but don't get all up in my grill. That's where I just have no patience. For it anymore. I feel really bad. I used to be such a dog person. I've been converted that I've got the cat.

Yeah, oh, Isabella's got sunkur little claws into you.

Maybe that's what it is if a dog has a cat's nature in that it just kind of sits calmly in the corner and leaves me the fuck alone. All good, good, interesting.

And Jenna's dog, Tiger is very long.

Yeah, it's a gangly looking bad I'll tell you. In the room, and it like swung its head in my direction and it was like I was getting head butt by a giraffe. I was like, get just snapped away from me. You grow.

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We need to get them printed out.

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Imagine that Jenna sending an email every day, Hi, reminder three days left.

No, Well, that's the thing. If we gave Jenda that mission, she'd go overboard. She'd comes you out and.

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Home, but trying to find somebody. Buy that usera like most d Yeah.

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I'm actually drinking my cup of tea out of one of the new mugs right pretty.

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I just say the story is back in action. We had some teething issues. Ironly ordered a handful of mugs to start with. Then they sold out really quick and it took ages to get sent more, but now I've got mugs coming out my asshole. So if you want to order one, please do mugs said the last few, and one of them was ordered on like ninth of June, and I was like, ah, shit, like it's taken that long for me to get more mugs. So they're in stock. So if you are waiting on one, you ordered a one,

We've got. This one comes from Nat Ferrigie on Facebook. Nat says, I've been sitting here for four minutes thinking of what to write, and all I can think of is, you guys aren't on radio yet. That's a question.

She's asking.

Your show is what everyone needs. All the mainstream radio shows now I find boring. She hasn't mentioned Mitchell midnight when I'm assuming she goes to bed at night. All of you are very talented and super funny. I've got two kids, so every time I laugh, my pelvic muscles are getting a workout. Wow, Eagles for the most. Wishing you guys all the best, keep doing you. Love you all. Nat, We love you, and we will send you out and mug and.

Joy hopefully if we do end up on radio. They bend the rules a bit for us so that I can say morning can.

Yeah, I can play gunshots.

I'm not a soo how I'd go with the note wearing rule.

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God, we are shaping the next generation of bron.

Anyway, enjoy your mug, will send it out. Yah.

So as you know, I did my first ever stand up comedy gig in Brisbane over the weekend.

Yes around before. I was fantastic.

Thank you.

It takes a lot of guts to do stand up.

It does the first stand up gig I did. I felt like that didn't really count because it was just on TikTok Live. But this one of their people. And what a lot of stand up comics do in the lead up to gigs is they'll do open mic nights where they can test their material and like, if a joke flops, they'll go great. I won't put that in the gig. I did not do that. I didn't have the opportunity to do open mic nights and prepare material. I was just gonna have to risk it. If it flops,

Get out? Would you be there doing it too?

Obviously?

Oh, then if you do it, I'll do it.

I'm a hard act to follow. Do you want me to go after you?

Oh my god? What's my drag name going to be? Madam fat? Oh my god?

Rihanna Saurus.

Renaisaurus is good? What man selma selma car.

Anyway, do you want to come to an open mic night, you have to test your material.

I've done stand up before and it was rockier than that my first time.

What was your first time?

Oh my god? Stand up? It was opened for the thinker girls who are old radio was rocky and it was.

A real fans, un fun people on the planet.

Well, they're very PC, hyper PC.

You might as well have been the opening act for Jenna's feminist book clubs.

Which she's opening soon. We'll plug that lad on the show. But I'm yeah, I led with a lot of fat, self deprecating humor and they will all like, no, lift, lift yourself up, babe.

Do you know who actually gave me really good advice? M Russianah. So after my TikTok comedy set, she messaged me and said, Babe, just remember there's a fine line between self hate and self deprecating, and you don't want to cross that because self hate comes across as really uncomfortable, where it's self deprecating is funny. And I think that was her way of saying that I came across a bit self hated in the first one when I said that I was dumb as dogshit and stuff, which I think is fair.

I am. That's also very your humor. Sometimes Jen and I leave going does he hate us? Or so? That is very your brand.

Yeah, anyway, you did very well.

Random a ball my god. Maybe my drag name will come late in a couple of weeks. Wow, that all right? Me true proud of you as of the listeners. Guys, ever, get your mugs season three commemorative addition for sale in Is It just Me? Instagram.

I'll pop it in the group as well in our Facebook group in during Idiots.

Yeah, if you're not in the Injuran Idiots, you're missing out because we went live there last week. We said hi exclusively for the idiots.

Also free posting for the mugs. Did I mention every I don't even know.

Yeah, you know, Like I said, I'm very busy.

The money would go into our kido, so you'd be very favor.

Also, you'd be very proud of me. Those flowers I almost dipped into our kidio for because I thought I'll bring it up on the show.

Well, you'll have. You would have had to have asked for my approval and I would have said absolutely not. Junior on probation, get back in your box.

That's what stopped me j because I don't have the BSBN account number for our own podcast, cashidiot. Every time I buy something for the show, Mitch's like, just send me the receipt. I'm like, I'm not an intern.

Do you not recall that I fired you and put your back on probation.

You haven't impressed me when we gasolate you for your birthday and we bought you Bree Larsons hit film. Send him a receipt. No, you can't.

Haven't You still haven't.

I feel like I did.

No, but I was like a Jenneth present. I don't mind paying for it.

That was awful, That was fine. We laugh. All right, guys back next week for seventy three. It's a contraceptive diaphragm. Sam died as well.

You've no longer with this, but the show must go on.

I'm proud of you, mit your well done. My first name and Feral Street. We'll see you next week. The seventy three guys, is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've get to follow on your podcast.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, we pretend we're done, and then we go nat, We're not keep talking. So if you've discovered this part, it's our little secrets.

Hey, this is exact. We just locked in Sophie Monk because a guest coming up. Did we locked in?

Locked in? As in locked in? Locked in? Or Mitchell Cheery locked in?

We'll never get it? Can we do? July thirteen? We got a date, So Sophie Monk coming up. That's because she's hosting Beauty in the Geek.

Well, maybe maybe you will pass probation.

Yeah, get me booking, guess I am. I don't know if I can announce this shit, but I may as well. I'm guest hosting an episode of Beauty in the Geek with Sophie. We'll get her in and I don't know. You can ask her what it was like, or we could brainstorm questions. That was a terrible question. Imagine getting Sophie and you go, what was that last?

I literally know what working with you is like. I don't need to.

Ask a class Sophie. Nothing, don't specify that.

Just fuck with her for our own.

Yeah.

I loved it, and then we're not.

In the Geek. What was it?

Just it?

Yeah?

Jackie has menu loge campaign it was fresh.

Sorry, oh god, sorry I missed my hallow fresh when I was in Brisbane.

Well you missed eating it or you missed the delivery.

No, it got delivered, but I wasn't home and so Jordan had to put it on the fridge and I was like, actually really miss cooking. It's become my favorite part of the day. Yeah, really, thirty minutes or so of downtime. Well in the kitchen, no technology.

My neighbors are on HelloFresh too, and my mum and my mom dad came over on the weekend and they must have elected to get it to live it on the weekend. Mum just assumed we also got Hello Fresh. So when they left, when they left, so they've been there all day. Yeah see yeah, we sat in the lounge while you take yourselves out. She brought it in.

We live in like a duplex and so did your mail just go to the one pile?

No, no, no, we have we have individual mailboxes. A giant she robbed your neighbor and then we get a doorbell ring from our neighbor and we still don't go down because it's on the intercom. Hey guys, sorry, did you take a Hello Fresh? Box. I'm like, no, you're bitch out there was it? It was you've been my house, you know, like if you open our door, there's like

No, but they put they put like a cooler bag in there with all the cold shit that it would have been fine.

Oh true, I would have been fine anyway. So I had to apologize gravely, and Mum was like, I thought you guys were on Hello Fresh.

No, well, if you're not, you've got to use your code forty MC to sign up.

That could be either of us. Who knows who's deal the can.

I'd be completely honest. When I first started working with them, mass like, FML, I hate cooking, I don't want to do this, but whatever, I'll do it. And then I fell for my own bullshit, my own salesmanship. I now love it. Yeah, I actually fucking love it.

Had it before. I've had every plate which has never.

Heard about that. I'm always mentioning rather clients.

Well, it's my current client. They own every plate, so it's fine. It's a family business, family business. Yeah, mister Hello owns it all. He's married Fresh. They went to school together. You Fresh, I like Fresh. Oh everyblay was good. I mean, I'm I'm the face of y D's twenty twenty one campaign. You don't see me wearing it because I don't fit in it. Don't fit in it.

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh.

It's fine. They own Johnny big Man.

They've got nice clothes.

Johnny big Man. Yeah, if you're.

A corpse, corpse, a corpse, look like, shoot me, what are you doing? I can see you clicking.

I'm timing out my National night show.

It doesn't matter.

I should announce this. This is very exciting. I'm not told you what I've told you.

This show has been one big jerk off. I'm an announcement. I'm working with Sophie Mank.

I'm in the faith of yd Ah. Another announcement for the next two weeks. The next two weeks, I'm not doing nights. If you're in Sydney, I'm doing a winter breakfast show. So by the time this comes out, I'll be waking up at three am. So, Mitchell, you literally cancel that lifestyle out and I begin I need tips. What's some tips? How do I prepare for three am wake ups?

So great question, Thank you. The best thing you can do is put your phone on a charger away from the bed so that when your alarm goes off you have to physically get up.

Oh good advice.

And then when you're up, just resist every urge in your large body to get back into bed. Just be like, no, I'm up now. Having said that, all you do is turn the alarm off, and then don't you for the first twenty minutes. Don't you don't touch your phone again for the first twenty minutes of the day. I don't expect you to do this, but I would do a couple of pilate stretches, make myself feel a bit away, go to the kitchen, make a cup of tea.

And break Salute to the Sun at three am, and.

Then after fifteen minutes of screen free time or twenty minutes and depending how much you want to commit to, then you can use your phone and that will make a big difference to you today.

Okay, good advice.

Never pit snooze, that'll fuck you up. When do you eat food? Because that's why I did mention that in the No but break Mitchell. Stop looking at the screen, your hands off the mouse. Look at me. That fifteen minutes of screen free time makes them bricky. Get up, turn the alarm off, skip the stretches. I don't think that's going to happen my hamstrings. Then go get your food.

Okay, Jenna, do you do the same.

Absolutely, make sure you eat bullshit before you come in.

But what about coffee? How many coffee you're because'm gonna be running.

And don't have coffee because that will give you like mega anxiety the first thing in the morning. So tea probably when you get here, But have tea at the start of the day.

Oh really, what it will shock my body? Yeah me out.

Yeah, that's that's why I had like a mad anxiety problem at the start of twenty nineteen.

Not to mention the millions of listeners and adoring fans, what'll be listening, that'll add to the anxiety.

Right, Oh yeah, of course.

All right, good to know. And then what time am I going to have to fucking go to bed? My body clock is set to one am, four sleeps.

I don't know up to you.

Mine's nine pm and you wake up at at three forty five.

Yeah, I'm going to get into the studio at four.

Can I give you a good app to try and get you to sleep? I want to get you to do it now. Actually, okay, I'll do it. I'll give it to you on my phone because I already have it. Can you do that thing where I plug my phone into the oxchord so everyone can hear it?

Yeah?

Do you have an oxchord?

I think contraceptive diaphram. Sam has one on his desk. Yeah, go grab that, and also grab those three portable likes there because Jenn and I are gonna have to talking to those so that you can't hear us. So this app is called Illuminate everyone. I've heard of that. It basically it's like a meditation app, but you you face your phone camera towards you, and it flashes your phone flash at you like the camera flash, and it is

Going to give right.

Oh it's great, Jenna. You start picturing really weird shit. Really yeah, Oh my god.

I can't wait for Mitch to try it.

Sounds like I'm selling this app. I wish like.

No, I love it.

No, it sounds so good. What's he doing? Dithering is what you call it?

Not at all?

Okay, set that up. I'll get these going.

Turn them on. You need to hit record.

Yeah, thank you. I haven't been out of the bees that long. Okay, So the app connect did so. This is illuminate. It's a meditation app, but you hold it next to your face and the phone flash goes off and makes you feel like you're having an LSD trip. Turn the lights off exactly. I might even turn the TVs off. You need to be the darkest through impossible. All right, So lie back in your chair, get really relaxed, close your eyes.

Maybe I should get.

A tripod to hold the phone.

Now, it's fine, it all work, pressing play.

Yep, and I turn mine on. Jen Jenn's Mike's off.

All right there off and am am opening my light, opening my.

Eyes, closing them the whole time.

Turn your phone so the flashlight is facing you, close your eyes, and then take a couple of big, deep breaths.

You got a text. Now, hang on, I want to say something else. I want you to forget the fact that we're recording a podcast right now, to get that you're on show. Just really lap up the moment all right.

In through your nose.

And out through your mouth.

Ready the flashings about the start. My god, I'm so excited.

Like.

I'm a booth of Oh, it's strobing.

Though we are all very aware of life's ups and downs, we are often less aware of the extent to which our natural bias focuses us on the negative aspects of this journey. Take a moment to imagine yourself walking or running against a strong wind. As you battle against it, it continuously consumes your thoughts. Once you reach a corner.

Striver that in its space. Then after a few minutes, you seriously, Jenny, start picturing the whack sh like the flash. It's not like circling in your mind and stuff. It's bright.

Well, I've noticed since gone brighter.

The same tends to apply in life with us only noticing what's wrong or what's missing when things feel difficult, rather than appreciating and learning from what's making us content when things are going well. First, think about the last time that you felt a feeling of contentment or happiness. It could be now or sometime in the past, even if it was just a fleeting moment. Picture what this moment felt like to you.

It looks like some craped at her and dunking on the straight. Yeah, it was Valor. It's really knocking him out. Imagine if you had an epileptic fit. Oh my god, See how the strobe slowed down. Yes, and now it's getting faster. Yeah, it affects what you're saying in your mind.

Wow.

No, he's from very much in the zone.

If you guys don't have an iPhone, you can just do a tab of acid before bed instead. Give it a try. Oh god, it's gone really false light relaxed.

Sorry, you want to ship myself.

Now that we are more aware back and mindful of this feeling of contentment, let's try to understand a bit more about what underpins it.

All right, I can do this at happen.

Why does this moment what did you.

Think Jesus quiet. Do you feel like going nine eyes?

They actually do?

There you go?

So you do that before bed? Yeah?

Sometimes I do it during the day. I just put the blinds down. I feel like an acid trip.

I was seeing. I saw a giant primantis. I'm not joking. Sorry, Jennis Microsoft.

Wait, did you really?

Yeah, I swear to you. I was seeing wacky shapes.

What did you picture when they said to think of a really perfect moment of contentment? Oh it time you entered Hayden.

No, it was actually this morning with hated. We had a very nice moment on the lounge. I had nothing to do and we were just being very lovey nice, and I thought about we didn't have to do the live on Sunday. That was pure joy and blisty.

Can we talk about that? Why all staff meeting?

Oh no, I'm very zen.

You don't just not do it.

No, that's like when the manager isn't there.

No, because if you're not there, I still go on without you, don't I you do. Actually, so if I'm busy, we have to have a discussion because we got people in the group saying, oh, they left me hanging. I was waiting for it to start oh no, And I'm like, just because I have a commitment doesn't mean my staff can let me down.

Jenna, we should have done it.

Yeah, Oh you could have done it and then crossed to me for a couple of minutes and then I would have dropped out, and then you would have carried on like I've done for you so many times. He's got a good point. Although I have I'm not even putting on an act. I was really fucked off by that.

I'm sorry.

I was like, it's not even me, it's them. It's the listeners that were there on the dot waiting for it.

They sit there with Rosees. Although someone did post on and durant idiots and they said, oh, you know, I know why it's not happening, but I still miss it.

That's what I mean. They know why, but that's it should have happened, because that reason only affects me.

Very true. Apologies, Mitchell. That's a genuine heartfelt.

Apology, because I was frantic. I forgot and I was like, oh my god, it's six forty pm.

Surely Mitchell would have gone live.

Actually my first thought was I bet he just didn't do it, and I was right.

It was right, proving himself right.

We should have spoken about it beforehand and come up with a plan, but I was busy. You weren't, well, I wasn't.

We can learn from this.

We can learn from our mistakes. Anyway, Wow, that really worked.

What's the app called Illuminate.

True Contentment? Let me go through some of the others.

Oh, you should go to the one called Intense Exploration. There's no voiceover. It just makes you fucking trip out for fifteen minutes sleep reflection.

Is this a paid app? Not all of us have Tinder money?

Oh my god, I can claim that app on the kitty. Oh now because we content cash?

All right? Thank you for listening to the show seventy two. What a hoot. We'll be back next week. I genuinely feel really zen.

That's good.

Now the lights are off as well.

And so what I do is I after that? I then just get up and put my phone away. But I try, and this sounds really whacked, but I try and keep my eyes closed while I was doing it, because if I put my eyes open, then I'll wake up again. So I try and like farm away over without open the eyes is keeping the sh after that?

You know what would be good that. Then your lavender eyepillow that you bought.

Us on the eyes yep, absolutely.

Especially in winter, you can put those in the micro for about ten seconds and that'll be Yeah.

I haven't tried that.

Wow.

Did you guys ever have a week bag? I know that if ye?

Yeah, I've got one right here? Do you my shoulder at the gym? O?

Did you how's any gym update? What are you doing? You're feeling happy?

Yeah?

Did you see that TikTok of the guy going and rand about my way the other day?

That was fun. I went and commented and oh, it was hilarious, But who is this man?

It was just odd. It was so odd.

He spoke like he was the year above human, like he was the school captain, and like he was close to it's on my TikTok.

Babe, I like commented he waits ag about a couple of months ago, and he absolutely frank was stacked it on.

She fucking did sack it on right on because of.

The bills or whatever the fuck it is. I'm not going to lie to your fucking face and tell you you look good, but really you don't, right, So fucking be grateful for camps like sucking me. He's gone and done something about it, and now his fucking mate, he now looks good. But it's all because of my fucking comment.

Right, I've been wearing the same size clothes the whole time. How are you noticing small change in my figure?

Also, you've just started at the gym three weeks ago, and he must see you at the gym. And you know what fucked me off about it the most was that he felt like, because you're at the gym, he was the one who caused you to go to the gym. He was like, yes, you must have seen my messages because he's done it.

And if it wasn't for my comment, then he.

Wouldn't be at the gym. And he the comment he was referring to is saying that I've stacked on the way. He wrote that in February, So if it was the motivation, it took me quite a while to harness that motivation, waiting until June to go to pt Yeah.

And dull, I mean, let's be real, since fame hit you, he's embellishing there.

Isn't it exactly? You're the projection what everything you took.

Over for Allen ever? Since you became deputy leader of the Nationals Party, you've put on whit what you're on the wrong page?

Fun feeling about next week? Seven and three of my favorite numbers, So seven three.

Seventy three boil girl girl, Yeah, seventy three is at Definitely she's got a good rack on her. Now is that the tip of the seven that makes me think? Tit's like, what is the the three? More than maybe? But I guess the tip of the seven is like a big old hair, like a nose, like, yeah, she's she means business.

So it's Gladys bare as you clean?

Next week is glad as? Can we get a politician on the show?

You can do what you like, honey?

If you're guest book guest booker officially, yeah, that is booked in Mitchell.

Okay. If you want to do a trial period as the guestbook are, that will bring you out of your internship.

I I get Sophie.

No, if a trial period, that's not one job. If you get good, it's one guess.

Yeah, well I've got Sophie. It's been confirmed. So I'm going to try and get a politician. What the funk? Will we ask her?

Can your homework be to just get someone that's so not on brand for the show, like someone who we would never usually get, like I know Alan Jones, like the most left wing Pery McSween.

Like hue from Huey's Kitchen.

Bring her in, I'll spit in the face.

Shoot me. Oh my god. Okay, we could call it off brand, and it's just getting guess that are so off brand but are so right.

But the odd thing is that someone being off brand is kind of on brand for us, because we would do that.

Yes, she just caught Black and Goal, like the off brand. Everyone's welcome to Black and Gold. And the poor guest would.

Be like, what, who's someone not on brand for us? Terry Irwin?

No, we get Terry.

Wouldn't it goes so good to be here?

No, Terry has a weird hybrid.

Oh no, she's like nine with an American.

You think, yeah, oh she is American, I guess.

And she still tries to pull off Getty.

I'm like, what about we got what's Hugh Jackman's wife definitely generally furness.

What about Tom Hanks's wife, the one that got COVID and gave it to Richard Rita Wilson Rita, Wilson Rita.

Good to have you on?

What about Neil Armstrong?

He's dead?

A buzz aldron I cold?

You can get the mars over it.

Who's someone just not on brand? Carrie Anne?

Carrianne is so off brand? Carrie Anne is the antithesis of this show.

Did you think that Angela Biship wanted to say talk shit about Kerry and but she just couldn't, Like I gave her the inn. She's like you could see it.

She was like she was scrunching of stress ball, one of Mitch's ushi's the head of marketing for Wilworth. Great to have you here.

Sam Thompson's on brand?

We shop?

What's something we don't do?

We shop?

What have we got? Like a football commentator.

Warried he could commentate a show. Oo, Ryan, I love bo, I love bo. He's a friend of ours, but still not on break.

Get him? Get him all right?

So my task to get out of my what's it called probation period, no internship, and to graduate to a guest, book a role which would be more money. I'm assumming, Jenner, I have to book a guest that isn't Sophie that's not on brand.

No, I don't think you realized the roles ongoing. You can't just one.

No, no, this is no.

Two book guests, I'll fire you.

Okay. That's how That's how employment works. It's just clicking, all right, I get it.

It's like you want me going ready every night, whil I did a last week.

I do one anyway, went to breakfast starts tomorrow. It's huge, guys.

Anyway, we hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today.

Guys. Oh, I'm on. I'm on two percent fat milk, just to add that in. I know it's got nothing to do with anything, but I've made the switch.

Oh yeah, the pool smarter white milk. Have you seen the ad with the old lady. No, there's no ad. I haven't been influenced by an ad. That AD's been around for decades. Have you not seen he's there an ad?

No, I've just I just saw it at Tramshed's Grosser and it was like, that sounds fine. What's two percent? I'll try it.

There's an ad find it. Stop the music. You're joking, right, of course, you know that ad where she's like an extra dun up extra dollar.

Beg your pardon.

Just look up Paul's Real Milk ad I'm on.

Here in eleven minutes, doesn't matter, and I do that ten plus one two people sitting at a cafe.

Oh, come on, bottle of milk.

Thanks, well, I've had and I've had full cream, calcium, high protein. Sorry light skim a Mega three hi calcium with vitamin D and folid or extra dollup.

Uh.

I just want milk to taste like real milk.

Milk. This toasted like full cream milk, and only.

There it is colln smarter white milk. I get it. Smart choice.

We should do a top five ads, can we?

That could be good? Anyway, let's go got thidetracked. We'll see next week. Guys, thank you for listening. We love you. Don't forget five star review and a margole that ship. But we'll see you in a week's time.

You can't wait. Catch you then, guys?

Is it just me?

Podcast by a couple of meches.

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