#63: Kink Class

People do some weird ship.

Television legend Carrie Ane Kenney fell several meters from a trapeze while performing in the musical Pivot.

Some things make more sense than others. Bring pikes, nurseries, we nurcary pikes, p y k e.

S Hey why I hey as in kill hey why.

Okay, bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults wood, Why is life so expensive?

I'm not even having a good time.

This is is just.

A couple of mitches.

What about me? Don't forget No, he is maturely and yes we are, We're by, We're back.

I'm back too.

Yes, it was a vital part of the show.

Yes, grounds excuse me?

Are you forgetting the change of job title?

Oh fuck yeah pride keeper Jenna. Oh and people are loving your new role over on the front and the things. Prize keeper got, my prize, got my pride.

Yeah, they're actually receiving their prizes. Unbelievable, Like she's.

Actually doing a job. Hi, guys, I'm feeling sy. I'm very I'm just Lucy goosey. I'm film very relaxed.

Yeah I saw you having a gay old time up in Queensland. On Instagram.

Yeah, we'll keep it ambiguous. I was having a nice relaxing time with my partner and I loved it and had a great time.

Okay, so when you were sharing a bed with your gay boyfriend, well, where were your name?

They? We had a great time. We had so much fun, Like we did all the theme parks like it was classic, like gold know.

I noticed that. I was like, are they something that you do when you're adults and you don't have kids.

Yeah, Oh that's exactly what we said. We go, we are we are going to be screwed and we have kids. Because the screaming and the yelling and the food consumption, that won't change much, but the amount of attention you need to give kids that a theme park is through the roof and Hayden and I would just run through the lines, were doing fast Pass. It was great. Dream World, Movie World, See World. My feeling very relax You're, on the other hand, very tense. You've got a wheat bag on your look.

I was feeling rested after our Easter break, but oh, I really have myself to blame. Only I kind of undid all the rest. Over the weekend, I went clubbing two nights in a row? Clubbing two nights in a row. No, I just don't know what I was thinking. I got a bit excited because you know, all the gay clubs are starting to reopen, and see me, the dancing bands lifted, and so you never know when we're going to be shut down again. So I'm just going to make the

Two nights in a row? Was there someone there? Was there? Somebody had your eye on, someone that you had your eye on.

No, found them when I got there, right nights?

Really the same person? No, good for you. Listen to the show. You've had that before. People who have their tongue down your throat and they pull it out to say, oh, left a.

Review one of them did. One of them had no idea.

Who I was. That's always nice. Yeah, oh good for you. We need to have a panandole and relax.

I'm fine.

I'm feeling good for episode sixty three.

It's great to be here. What are we doing today?

Oh well, there's going to be a lot more sex talk coming up later. So you remember last week we were talking to my housemate about that guy he hooked up with who wanted to be wanted to be pleasured using like vegetables and stuff the fruit like, yes, And I'd never heard of this kink, and I wanted to know what other interesting and you know, a little out of the ordinary kinks are out there, and I've gotten a lot of people writing in, so I'm going to be doing kink class later.

I was, do you have to do them on the table here?

No, you don't have to attempt them. You should see my Google history.

Though you didn't do it on the work WiFi, did you? Of course?

Yeah I did. Actually I had to google all of them, so yeah, wow, shat yourself in.

We'll strap it on and that coming up later.

Of course.

If it's your first time listening, high thank you. This is it just me, brought you by a red Rooster. Try the new crunchy fried Chicken today. Let's kick it off the same way we do each week with two. Is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mine is like, I'm feeling refreshed, I'm feeling relaxed, I feel.

Little actually yeah, yeah, I noticed that.

I got some sun I went swimming for the first time, and I think ten years.

Ten years.

Yeah, I did the math in the ocean ten years rubbish. I swear to you, like, let's go swimming. I'm like, awesome, I'll sit by the sand and watch. She's like, why would you do that? It's quite out like the beach. She's like why, Like, what an't I taking my top off? I get very self, Conner, did you take your to I took the top off and bolted. You know, I wasn't.

We had our rush shirts.

We went to Rick Curl to search and they didn't have the sizing. We actually we have a tactic when I go in the pool swim because I did swim with my shirt on a one day. I'm like, this is fucked. I feel like an absolute.

Nob just a normal shirt.

Yeah, like a black to drag like polls you like you swim? Yeah, it's not safe. So then we worked it out. We'd go in the pool and then Hayden will get out first and then come to the edge and stand there with a towel like a toddler. And then I'd stand up into the tower and then I would roll into it like.

A little little piece of sushi, yes.

Little piece of sushi or a butterfly and a cocoon, and then I would go and sulk at the chair. We don't have room service yet. That was our routine. More to talk about. Apparently my agem's holiday themed, so good day, I might get off my chest first mine kind of?

Is I suppose?

Really?

Yeah?

Something I got up to over the break anyway?

Everywhere? All right, I'll go first, let's jump in. Is it just me? Do you still feel the need to get friends and family at present after every holiday?

M yeah, if it's a big one, yes, Like if it's overseas.

Yes, that's the distinction that I discuss this with Hayden. Every holiday my family would go on growing up that can't home with their suitcase and we'd either pick them up from the airport or Dad would roll in through the front door and we'd all sit down and we go, you.

Got his presence?

Why did you get us?

Why did you get us?

Buy a present? And it's drilled into me this day. Every time I'm at the airport, I'm like, fuck, did I get the presents? I went to Queensland for five nights. I need to get well, I'm gonna get the fucking story bridge fridge magnet to give to my mom.

That's not somewhere you'd usually go souvenir shopping, but like, because it's been so long since we've been able to travel, it's like, guys, I want to rub it in. I've been out of the state.

Yes, And that's how I felt. Even at like the SeaWorld gift shop, I'm like, hey, no one need a suff powl of bear plushy, but we don't. But I just felt the need to buy it for someone.

Does it ever feel like you're rubbing it in that you've been there and they haven't.

Yes.

Like I remember Jenna coming back from a London trip. This is well before we went overseas together, and she gave me London Union Jack pajamas and I was like, oh, leave me nothing to me. I haven't been.

Yeah, I wasn't there.

No, I was so excited. I gave everyone gifts from London.

Yeah, everything you'd be a gift giver. I feel like you really. I remember my dad came back from from where's the Pope lived the Vatican City and gave me a jar of holy water. You're gonna kill your son. He didn't know at that point of my predicament my life choices. But he gave me a jar of hollywater. And I don't have the connection to the Vatican Dad.

Did he personally bless each and every bottle, every jar? I highly doubt that.

Yeah, I think it was a little bit of Mount Frankie jar bottle that they were selling on the street. Anyway, continuing that trend, I just couldn't resist, and I bought you guys presents.

Oh my god, oh my god.

Carefully chosen.

I'm so excited.

I actually saw this. I'll do Jeni's first. I saw something that I wanted to get you. Jenna at dream World have like a little Harry Potter store, like full of Harry Potter paraphernalia. And I don't know if you've ever seen the film, but these cheli beans looked absolutely lovely, and I got you some rare gold coast jelibans.

The hell, Okay, that's cool, that's not rubbing in that. You've been something.

No.

I love that. Yeah, Donut Shop, the donut flavored.

Ji McGonagall gave these two lots and puff in episode.

I don't think I think she's having you on there. That's not Birdie bots. Every flavor beans.

So good, and I love that it's made him manly.

If it's done a full one eighty like a little boomerang, hasn't it?

I love it Manly from Sydney's North. Yeah, yeah, Now this is for you. I don't know if you can even discuss this on the show or if we can talk about it legally. You've got a box at your house. Have we discussed the Delta box on the show?

Oh?

What the hell? I think you'll love it dinner.

When I went through my oh wow, okay, yeah, when I went through my stoner phase in twenty seventeen, I used to disguise my little stash of green plants in a Delta Goodrum Perkin box. As I'm unwrapping up, I recognize this. This is my first little pipe that I used to smoke out of. It was shattered. Oh it's a little darling, isn't.

It a little old elephant?

It's a glass elephant smoke weed anymore?

I didn't know that, did you know?

It looks like a cute ornament.

Oh, that is cute.

You can put tobacco on it.

I don't smoke tobacco.

To smoke something.

Actually, that kind of ties into what my age is to be honest? Oh yeah, should I just give it to you?

Now?

You say thank you for the gift.

Thank you, very sentimental, little glass elephant.

It is it just me?

Do you choose to believe that there are no health risks associated with vapes and you won't hear anything to the contrary?

Oh what, you haven't started? You?

Well? Maybe? Oh look, I mentioned that all the clubs are reopening in Sydney. I was I need to go out clubbing over the Easter break. And I'm not a smoker. I don't smoke cigarettes. However, I am self aware enough to know that if I'm quite drunk and someone opposed me one, I'll be like sure, yeah, And it happens more often than not. And I always forget how gross you feel the next day after a cigarette. My hair reafs fingers, yes, no matter how much you scrub them,

No, you know they are so bad for you.

They're lovely.

They're really it's like electric battery assets.

They're basically fruit. They're peach flaff.

Oh were you on the bloody peachering trend? I've got strawberry bod gem gem donut.

Some one I've got right here is lemonade. Actually, no, he brought it.

In with him.

You look like a freak.

You look like one of those who are the people that fly in the tartarses And they've got the little letter box that they hoovey and with the green little tartar's button.

It's weird, but I don't think do I know?

Can you google some of the dangers of smoking?

No, I'm curious actually, because it could really kill you.

You know, it is kind of ironic that I believe they're designed for people who were existing cigarette addicts, you like, smoked every day of their life, which is not me. I can go months without smoking, and I don't crave it. It's only on nights out that I'm like dah as well, and so I thought this would be a better alternative.

But now it's how do you? How do you hold it? Show me what's your technique? Oh? Holding it like it's a USB is about to stick into a computer.

It's sliding up.

Lights of the bottom, a lot of let me smell you gotta save.

Yeah, I've I've got wait. I found this Okay. So yes, vaping is less harmful than smoking cigarettes, but that doesn't mean they're not harm free. Some brands contain chemicals, including for madeliteehyde yeah, often used in building materials, and another ingredient used in anti freeze that can cause cancer. Flavors also raise red flags. Hear this according to Professor Simon Chapman from his Sydney years.

I live Sydney, UNI. We get coffee at the.

Local estimated that there's eight thousand flavorings available right, but.

None is tasty.

Children love it.

But none of them have been approved for inhalation as vapor, only for ingestion as food flavoring. So the bottom line is there is currently no long term data because they're relatively new, so we don't we don't really know the effects of vaping.

I could just be one of those ninety year olds that are still smoking cigarettes and their justification is we didn't know the risks when I was young. Yeah, but everybody who.

Says that, oh, I know Auntie blah blah, she's one hundred and three and smoked every day, then they die of lung cancer.

That's true, don't I obviously don't recommend people take them up. But yes, I have been turning quite a blind eye. I'm very annoyed that you brought this up dinner.

It's not good.

It's only been two weeks that I've been vafing and I have Yeah, Like I said, I've been turning a blind eye to it because I actually did either of you watch Did either of you watch Demi Levado's four part YouTube documentary yet? So there's this part where she's talking about how she's California sober, oh, which means she's not completely drug and alcohol free like she used to be. She was sober for like six years and then obviously

That's lot and you know most of them. Most of vapes, right, contain nicotine, which is obviously addicted. So when you stop using it, you can go into withdrawal. And that's my major.

If it's going to make him irritable, keep vapor because we'll get calm, beach.

I don't even know if it makes me calm. I don't even know what I'm enjoying about it. It's not good. I noticed I've been drinking less since I've started baking, so I'm like, maybe I just need some sort of need. I need my poison.

But he's coughing up blood in the morning, and he's drinking poor you're listening to is it just me? A podcast by a couple of branches?

You can't?

Oh, my goodness, me, I see if you're paying attention.

There was My heart was about to stop that.

Anyways, people do as I say, not as I do. Don't take up.

Vaping if you're not already, don't kid's listening to this because we have a massive audience in the three to four age demographic.

I did. I did tell myself that I wouldn't buy any more after this, because I bought three and this is the third one.

So, oh, is it one of those ones that you can plug in with your iPhone every night?

No, I don't actually know how it works.

My sister went through a phase where you had to plug it in every night. I don't even think about that charge.

It's like an iPod.

It's just like an iPod exactly and what they went out of phase and ended up killing.

So it never occurred to me that there's some sort of surge of power going through there. I've aap been in the bath.

Oh, this is an extra layer of dagger.

And then I'm like, Jenna, Mitch isn't here to record the podcast, and we go to your beautiful apartment to get you, and Isabella's at the door scratching her do that.

I don't know what she thinks goes down in the bathing. She freaked out every time the door's closed.

And oh, maybe she's using her cat senses to say, do not short circuit yourself. Yes, I'll stop imagine if he died in the bath with a vanilla vape.

No, and it's just lying there next to his lifeless body.

Mitchell, don't do that to your friend, Please, don't. Hey, you can leave us a review five stars, please, that'd be great. Let's do some Red Rooster reviews. We read them out and we send you out some Red Rooster, maybe some merch. We hook you up. I go to do some a little bit different everyone. Maybe I might. This is a live review. This happened on the fly. This was an in person review.

Oh oh, I love that counts.

That doesn't count.

That doesn't help us on the chart.

It does, it does because she didn't leave a review and she said, you didn't read it out because I was one of the os and I couldn't scroll back. This is hello Little Red Holly. She's a makeup artist. She's absolutely stunning. I was shopping a Pacific Fare in the Gold Coast a couple of days ago. Bummed in to me, excuse me, massive fan of the podcast. I adore it. I love you in the Gold Coast in the Gold Coast, and she said, my review is it's

There you go. Okay, Well, Red Rooster's coming your way.

DM Price.

Do you have the details or anything?

She'll DM you.

You'll have to check ad a couple of mitches on Instagram. We can claim your pride.

I've done all my heavy lifting to you can't leave a review. Also on the podcast Apple Podcasts at five stars, please we have luky m nineteen eighty four, great year. I just want ah which for the life of me, Red cour Oh my god, Wow, Well he wants read Rooster and he's getting it.

He's getting it.

I religiously listened to you a lot every Monday, and I've never had Red Rooster time to change. I politely requested, in between orgy talk and sacred hymns you read my review.

Jeers Queers Done, luky Yay.

Act that we are now heading in about to do a lot of sexy talk.

Luke brace yourself for kink class. So if you missed our most recent episode, we were hearing about a fruit fucking fetish that apparently exists. Yes, my housemate actually came on the show. I hate to think what else goes on in the next door bedroom in my apartment. But if you missed it, this is what Jordan said.

I have involved food once in a threesome a few years ago. One guy who I've been with a few times, he messaged me and he was like, my new kink is to be fucked with food. And I'm like what. He's like, do you want to come over? And I'm like, I mean sure, He's like cool. Can you go to Cole's beforehand?

Did you want an obergene cucumber.

Aubergine, Yes, cucumber. Yes, we're basically making a salad inside his asshole.

Okay, please tell me you didn't put those things back in the fridge to go.

No.

No, no, most of them actually most of them actually got peels and I cooked them into a soup for him.

Oh are you serious?

I am dead serious.

Yes, So reminder, we don't kink shame in this house.

No.

No, but I did ask our listeners to send you any other out of the ordinary kinks that we might not have heard of that they've either been involved with or been asked to be involved with. Interesting, And oh my god, we've all got some learning to do. I hadn't heard a half of these doing the research, So first up. This one comes from Jewels by Jewels. Yeah, you have to play.

That's how it workss Hi, my.

Name's Jules and I am from Melbourne. I'm an emergency nurse. I had a guy come in with the ambulance with a chopstick in his piss hole. There was a blanket over his lap, tented for which I pulled off his lap and see this timber chopstick sticking straight through his dick. And I basically, in a professional, say a professional way, rather asked why the fuck did you do that?

And in his really bogany.

Dodgy way, was like, oh, look, I just get off on this shit, you know.

Man.

I was very perplexed at his response. However, you are your own rainbow. Have a great day, guys, Thanks very much for your podcast and keep up the amazing work.

Thank you Jewels. Well, that one was really quite shocking for contraceptive diaphragm Sam. He got out of chairs too much, isn't it.

No, no, no, no, I'm just thinking about the splinters, like you get the cheap ones and delivery.

They've got a tiny bit off.

It's yeah, that's that's where he went wrong, because he used a wooden chopstick. But this is what he was trying to achieve with what's called urethrul. Sounding people are into it because the urethra passes by very sensitive nerve areas that can feel nice. Women can be into this too, but for men, if a sounding toy goes deep enough, it can simulate the prostate. But obviously you don't want to use something that's going to get caught.

Yes, of course, wooden chopstick sushi.

Goes We don't recommend that one.

Oh all right, thanks Juels.

This next one that comes from Kela.

It's kel from Dubbo. So one time I was jerking mcgirkin and there was like a kind of intense but kind of good burn on my pecker. And then I remember that i'd cut up chilies about an hour before, and I've tried some hotter chilies and it's even better.

So he's actually loving the chili wanks. Yeah, he's into it. That's his new thing. And I tried to google more information about this fetish. I think it's literally just him. Yeah, because all that came up was like danger in case of emergency, this is what to do, Like, apparently it's not it's something that people usually enjoy. It's quite a horrific pain, but whatever he likes it.

It's a dubble thing.

Yeah, I can imagine.

I have to admit I have done that before accidentally.

Oh yes, the bird's eye chili. Then rub my grind on the chopping pod I just accidentally touched, and it's it's killer. It's the same as doing it on your lip or your eye, you know, or you know, touch after you've touched chili, and yeah, it's it's right.

Well, Carol was into it, but apparently if that does happen, you meant to apply milk, yogurt, canola or vegetable oil to try and ease the burning situation unless you're enjoying it.

I'm sure he was fine with the milk. There be free gif you know what I mean? All right if someone else can't, is it?

Yeah, this one's from Kent. Hey is Kent from Sydney And I once hooked up with someone who had a pregnancy fetish. A pregnancy fetish. Oh so these are kind of common. As it turns out, apparently on porn sites, the term pregnancy gets searched just as often as the terms redhead and babysitter.

Oh my two kings want to kill.

A combination of pregnant redhead babysitter.

Oh my god. So do you want someone to be pregnant while you're doing it or do you want to get them pregnant?

I imagine it would be different for everyone, but they're not actually turned on by the thought of the baby itself. That'd be quite fun, right, Yeah, But apparently it's more to do with like the heavy breathing in the moaning that comes with when you're in labor. It kind of sounds like sex noises to some people. Jenna do an impression of being in labor, okay, okay, and she's not going to end up on any prego porn sites anytime soon. No, And some people find the actual look of a pregnant

I was picturing like pregnancy kink, like you know, take me to baby Bunta.

Well, actually male pregnancy or m preg as they call it. It's also part of this kink. A lot of gay couples like to role play the idea of one of them being pregnant because it's literally something they'll just never actually experience, so it's kind of like letting their imagination run wild. And they say, it's all about the emotional closeness and vulnerability, something seen in porn.

I like that.

Do you want a foot message? You've been walking around with that. Third try it's the belly all day. I don't know how it works.

Put this bib on. Yeah, I don't know. A spoon feeds you some mashed apple. That's my kind of kid. I've been there, and I bet we haven't done a pregnancy king, but there's been things thrown around like, oh, get you pregnant?

That kind of I yeah, right there you go that kind of tied in with that, like knock me out that sort of thing.

Yeah, kind of yeah. It's kind of like, you know, right at the end, when you're about to climax, it's like, yeah, go there me, yeah, yeah, yes, goodness me.

The next one comes from Ashley.

Hey, it's Ashley and I'm from Brisbane. So this guy asked me if I would be willing to put on a pair of heels and both stand on and walk all over his body while he lay on the ground. So yeah, essentially he asked me to trample him. The more bruises the better.

Interestingly contraceptive. Di Sam is nodding his head.

No, not for me, but I have a mate that that sounds like, not me, but I have a friend. But literally, I have a mate that that is his absolute life. He just all that he wants as a girl and a great pair of like Jimmy Choo's or something, and just like give it to him.

Yeah, I feel like the heels part that's a little bit more extreme because all the examples I found was all just like barefoot, having someone walk on you, like feeling trampled, because it's all about feeling submissive and having someone dominate over you. But it just makes me think of the bloody stampede on the lion king. Yeah, what do they call it?

The beast?

Something like that antelope, something like that.

Yeah, I got that wouldn't work for me. The heel will go straight through my back. It's very soft.

Man, that's so risky.

But being dominated is dominatrix and you know, and that's you.

You know, I get that element, but I'm just like the heels, like that's a new extreme, that's dangerous.

Yeah.

And you know what I love about that is that often it's real heterosexual, burly straight man who love that ship. But we'll never talk about it. But that's their their bedroom. I love that. I think that's so cool.

Totally all right. This next one from Joanna before we get into it, Sam's got a bit of a trigger warning for us.

Warning.

The following segment contains conversations about blood play and may not be suitable for all audiences. If conversations about cutting it's something you may find distressing, Please pause the podcast now and check the show notes for a time code of when it's safe to resume. And remember, if you need someone to turn to, Lifeline is always available for support. I'm thirteen, eleven fourteen.

Yes, so we're talking about blood play.

Ye.

Now this one comes from Joanna.

Okay, let's go hi.

My name is Joanna. I am from Melbourne. My friend's kink is that she loves blood play. So she loves basically sex with blood, like to be cut someone and that they bleed or sex on her period. Or anything that basically creates a pool of blood. It's not something that goes so deep that will be harmful, but it's enough for them to bleed. And if they don't like actual blood, she will use like fake blood.

Interesting.

Yeah, so apparently some people enjoy the tastes of blood and like to incorporate it in the bedroom.

I find that would be very hard to find someone that enjoys the blood but also find someone that's okay with being cut.

Yeah.

I feel like you'd have to kind of meet people on the blood play forums. Yeah, also enjoy that kind of thing, but it might just be a little sewing needle or something to prick the skin, you know, like the diabetes pissing kits of something. Or some of the people they like to do something a little more extreme knife play, which doesn't necessarily involve actual cutting, but apparently they just enjoy the fear factor of having someone take their clothes off with the knife. Oh you're gonna cut me.

Interesting, but imagine the cleaning up.

Well, I don't imagine they aim to get a lot of it involved. I don't know.

Also imagine the discovery of that, like are you just clipping your little toes one day and you cut too deep you had a bit of blind and you're like, oh I am I'm hard.

Yeah, Or like they've got a bleeding nose and they feel a bit of it coming through the back of their throat, isn't there, like yummy, Yeah, I don't mind that.

Well, that's the thing. You know, we didn't even talk about it on the show. I don't know why we didn't. It seems very upper ally. The whole Army Hammer Cannibal, well, well, I saw a lot of threads online that was like, yeah, what plays his kink? It's fine, everyone's donk king Tram. I'm like, I can get around that. But then he was taking it to the next level. But that was the first time that I was ever made aware that people actually get off on this.

Yeah, Like, there's the difference between blood play and Armie Hammer wanting to eat someone's heart, like the rip it out.

Of their chest. It's a bit off. Yes, he wanted to eat something old fashioned. I'm not into that interesting, okay. And then we have a couple more right, Yeah.

This one's from Hannah. It's Hannah from the Sunshine Coast.

So when I was with my ex, he had this fetish for me to wet myself when wearing. It had to be jeans, It specifically had to be jeans. And one day, it was the day my car had broken down, I had you to the bathroom because I had been sitting on the side of the road for three hours

And it's got this name called omar sit.

Yes, it has a real name for girls wetting themselves, but he's specifically in jeans. At the end of the night, he wanted me to wet myself in jeans, and to the point that when it was his birthday he even asked me. I was like, what do you want for your birthday? He goes, I want you to wet yourself in jeans for me.

I'm like, ill.

So, yeah, that's the story of how my ex basically forced me to wet myself like a toddler. I didn't wet myself though, so it was like.

A Netflix original series.

I know.

Finally enough didn't work out between those two.

I thought they were really a good match for each other. I think the important thing there was also consent. I mean, yeah, definitely has to be consensual.

Precisely, driving someone around for two hours trying to make them piss themselves not cool. But yeah, she mentioned it's called amarashi, the Japanese word for wet yourself, and people get aroused by the discomfort of a full bladder and they enjoy like the tension in the lead up, and then when someone finally pisses themselves, it's like a release.

Guys, communicate with your partners to make sure you're okay with it. And if you wanted it to piss herself laughing, you should have played this podcast.

Oh my god, finally, just when you hadn't heard enough bodily fluir with. This last one comes from Joel.

It's still from Perth.

And this wasn't me, but one of my friends once had a guy ask her to sit on top of a glass table and do a shit while he's watching from underneath. Oh goodness me yep. So this is what's called a hot carl. As I found out, there's a few variations of the hot carl. Either, you can put cling wrap over your partner's face while doing a shit in their mouth so that they physically experience the warmth and the shape of the turd. It's called a rusty trombone.

That one.

If you do it on their chest, it's called a Cleveland steamer. Or there's what we called the cold car, which is what he mentioned, which's sitting on the glass table while the partner enjoys the view from underneath while you do a ship laylong right there on the glass. Move the TV week, babe, I'm feeling horny.

Where's the foxtail? Might remember we did the distincy Cleveland last week? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's under the pile of feces. Hey, no king shaming that that's next level though, that's that's that's a lot.

Yeah, that is. I I don't understand fecal matter. I understand that like as a gam and you are obviously toying with danger when sex involves that region where the ship comes from. But I prefer to detach the two from each other. Yes, I prefer to not remember that that also serves that function.

Yes, I completely agree.

I don't want to watch someone do as shit. No, I don't ever.

Pressed into It's like when you go to therapy and they get a piece of paint and squash it between a fold, what do you see here? Like that?

But with woo, yeah, I know, And so this one and a lot of the others, I basically tried to find a clear answer why do they like it?

Like what is that?

And there really isn't a clear answer for a lot of them. But all the websites that I read did make clear that it's like, it doesn't make you a psychopath. Some people just you know, have quirky kinks and that's just the way their brain's wired. As long as it's consensual and you know you're not.

Yes, I completely, as long as both or multiple parties are safe more than two these days.

And the other thing is that a lot of these ones that I just read out all of the website said that they're more common than you think because it's just like not spoken about. So you never know someone in this room that wants to confest having any of those kinks. No, no one.

I did want to pitch for the next merch though that we get glass coffee tables and.

That's okay, No one wants to come forward.

Well, thank you guys for writing in. That was very nice, very sweet.

Very interesting.

More wow, that jewels chick. She said that as well as the splintery chopstick that was someone inserted into their cock, been many many other examples that she has. So I reckon we should get her on some stage to.

Get her on she's an emergency worker. Ruy. Yeah, I follow this page on Instagram and it's just someone who works in the eed and they upload all the X ray scans of people who come in with foreign objects up their rectum, like what like full egg plants, full footballs, teddy bears, torches, Bunsen burners, like the amount of ridiculous ship that people put up their shit at is ridiculous.

Oh, you might have just ruined all of jewels. Good stories.

I've just noticed jewels. So it's my god. Well, thank you for writing in guys. That's very very sweet.

Keeping coming. If you've got another weird king to combess, hear.

We would now. I hope you guys enjoy your gifts.

Of course, thank you. A little elephant ornament that there's no other purpose than being an ornament.

You could put one mint in the top and then blow it out and then you could play with it. You could put like a mint in the top.

I don't think though I can't smoke a mentos it's just not No, no, just play with it.

Just make it a mentos holder. I'll put a gold coin in there.

Anyway. We don't need to talk about this now, No.

We really don't. All right back for next week, episode sixty four. We will see you.

Then, Well, we won't see Jenna then.

No, I didn't.

Did I tell you that she can't come in next week?

No?

I remember I saw this in the group chat, but I don't know why.

Yeah, mitchwe's very off the grid. The break, we'll be barely spoke, to be honest. But our next week's all starts. Jenda won't be here. I can't wait to tell you.

It's a serious issue.

No, don't give it away. It's we're going to do another live cross to her. She's going to be roving reporter again.

Oh the last time we did that. You're at some blackground, black town cricket ground.

No, I was at the outdoor cinema.

Cinema driving cinema. Delta. Goodroom was performing.

Yes, while I was talking to you. It was a fan favorite.

Yeah, we're gonna have Kate Langbrook in Jenna's seat, a much more qualified third Wheel, I might add Kate.

Kate Lanebrook is a colleague of our. She hosts a three pm pick up here at Kiss and she's a TV radio icon here in Australia. She is so funny, she's.

Thoughts of my spirite animal. I can't wait to have her on.

She's very you Actually you in about twenty five years?

You reckon?

Yeah?

I think so.

Don't you get to meet She was also born a man like is that what you're saying? I'm going to become cater transition Sam, you know what I mean?

Like Mitch is very young, Kate, I feel like it's.

That same sort of energy of just like, oh I just cannot be bothered.

Yeah, but he's very funny along and realized I gave off those.

Today. I had a great though very very lazy. Thank you guys for your reviews. Don't forget five stars. Follow our secret Facebook group to search endurant idiots joined in the final lot of Behind the Scenes gas goes on that Facebook page and follow us on Instagram. Get all the VIDs and we will see you guys next week.

Captain.

Then bye bye fus just me, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app or follow on Spotify.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, we just kind of hang out, keep talking shit. Hopefully most people don't hear it because it is their secret.

That's the vape. His voice cracked.

You did I just popped a eucalyptus drop in ah, lovely popped it a bit of a scratchy throat.

Yeah yeah, Well you poor thing. Clabbing two nights in a row never a good idea.

Yeah, I'm not going to be rushing off to do that again. Let me tell you what did you do?

Where did you go? Puffed Off one night, which is a bar in Sydney.

Friday I went to stone Wall and Saturday went to Puffed Off.

Gosh, it was last time I was at stone Walls for one of your birthdays.

That was in two thousand and eighteen.

I was there as well, last time I was out of the house. The Generine are in the corner. We were actually world politics in ancient Greece and downfall of Rome.

It was very fun and russ shirts, which brings me to my next topic.

Well, you weren't even talking about a topic, so it's just your first topic. That's how that sentence work.

Okay, be quiet now anyway, as you all know, Okay, there's nothing you went. Okay, okay, been quiet. As you know. I was in Dubbo and I also got some gifts for both of you. Before I provide you with these gifts, I thought, hmm, what's a what's a possible nich idea? We've got rash shirts brilliant.

Well, your rash shirts didn't really take off, so yeah.

Back they did and they will be coming. But I thought, what's something nobody else.

Is doing in terms of merchandise?

Yes, okay, and I think I've found it.

So someone else is doing it then, well.

Yes, but not in this capacity. Anyway, I'm going to pass you your gifts, and I want you to read out what's on each of them.

Dramatic it's a music for us. Oh, the bag says Dubbo on it.

Here you go.

Oh it looks like a Jarrett Paprika.

No, it's not that.

What is it?

Please read what it says?

Oh my god, if you go, it says famous Dubbo dust.

Yes, this is a vial of dust.

Yes, I think that we should get dust from this place. Put it in a vial and send.

It off dust from what place?

I don't know, the.

Dirt outside, Like is that what you mean?

Like we would just go outside in the dirt out?

There is dust all through this place. To be honest with you, we've got on some of the shelves and stuff. As you want to give away our studio dust.

No, it'll be available to purchase.

There's enough dust.

Around this pet now also that this is like a good one hundred mills of dust. It says, dirt cheap, two dollars experience capital gain, buy now before stock runs out. Supply will not last indefinitely.

What makes it famous Dubbo dust? What's so famous about the.

Dust because no one else has thought of this idea.

It was made when the Lion's Club dirt mine was officially opened after gigantic dust storms hit Dubbo.

Interesting in a few years, that'll be worth a lot.

Three key bottle tightly capped to prevent a scyll.

I was gonna smell it.

Do it. I don't think it's mad as if we escape any of it. For Dubbo mud, just add water in shape, I might turn mine into dubble mud.

You should anyway, I think that I have found the perfect Merchi tear.

Yeah, I do gem dust your recon genital Yeah, okay.

I think gem dust.

Well, let us know in our favorbook group and during idiots if you would be willing to purchase our dust.

Yes, that water oh yes, just.

Been crunched up bits of cockroach.

And it looks like my talking to the mic, Dylan spilled everywhere.

You get ready quiet as mr.

Oh.

He's pouring the dust into a glass.

Beautiful dust.

Half of it went on my mic.

I feel that there's plenty more nothing in that can No, there isn't.

All right, Dubble Mud fantastic, great gift.

Drink drink head, don't be ridiculous, that's fair.

I think do it for Dubo.

I've never done nothing for me, but they've done so much. What this could have COVID in it? It doesn't know salmonella.

I don't think Dubble had any case.

Probably healthier than your exactly.

Oh no, you're drink drinking the dust.

Drink the dust, try too, Oh real earthy, delicious because it's dust.

Get the taste of the essential word.

Yeah, I can taste some more impoverishment and misogyny. Nothing like numbo that's disgusting. Water is nice and shield is here a nice?

What am I going to do with this stuff?

Thank you, Jenna, what a lovely gift. Yes, develop this idea further. You want to dog dust?

Yes, world famous dusk.

We could probably do like a lock of hair or something of Mitchell's head.

From her chest favorite line in Grief.

Yeah, I don't it's a great idea. I mean we could probably. Would you guys be interested to hit us up on is it just knowing a couple of mitches insta? Would you be interested in stuff from the studio? We have run sheets. Would you like a run sheet?

And would you like that to be made into dust?

No?

The dust idea is dead. Yeah.

Maybe instead of plas we do gym shreddings, we shred all logs so they can't decipher them.

Shred the logs.

I don't like that. You could use it as composts. I don't know.

Well, I remember when I saw one of the late shows that Jimmy Kimmel or something in America. All I wanted was a run sheet and they gave me a run sheet, And that's in my house framed because I like the Late Show, so someone who loves is just me might want a run sheet.

It's much less of a bragging right than a Jimmy Kimmel one sheet.

But whatever mine sets will Ferrell on it. It's a very good shirt. Interesting, all right, Jen, I think of the pitch. We will discuss it and we'll get back to foight.

No, it's going to happen, and the rush shirts are still going to happen as well. Just in FII both passionate.

I also discovered a really really bizarre product when I was back in bone Gate within the bogen Gate General Store, oh slash post office, slash pub. And I'll bring it in Actually no, you're not here next week dinner. I'll bring it in the week after because oh there's a whole backstory with it too. Anyway, really better than dust. I feel that it serves more of a purpose than dust.

Dust is not is not offering any service. I'm not getting anything from dust.

Well, you know that's a popular product, Jane from the Debo Visitors Center, so that that's one of the most popular products. And I'm not even exaggerating.

Interesting Abo darts, Yes, okay, I'm not even sure what I mean to do with it though you can make.

Mad did you can just frame it.

I've still got that magic kit you got me for Christmas.

That's fun.

And what do you think I'm gonna do with the dust? I use Mitch's lavender eyebarm every night. It's almost gone. Yeah, I've sniffed that fucking lavender eye pillow so hard that it just thinks of purple mesh.

A beautiful eyepillow.

I must say it's gone. I have just absolutely crushed it. I've rubbed it between my hands that long. What did I get you guys for Christmas?

You got me? What do you call it? One of those dusk.

I've seen you use it when the last three times i've been to your house it's been on.

It's not beautiful, and I've sent you phonos of me using it.

You also sent me fighters of silver. And she was beheaded months before.

She was not beheaded, she was flushed. No, she wasn't. Interesting course, she was buried. So I got a little jewelry box, right, a Pandora jewelry box, and put her in there and buried her aware in my parents' backyard, the mansion. It's not a mansion.

Interesting, she's in the family crypt. Do you guys have a family crypt. It's like really rich families have a crypt, and it's like a it's like a house in a graveyard and all the family get to be buried in that one house. Hayden's family have a crypt.

Is have you purchased your plots?

He's got his, but I don't have one.

Is it one that you walk in and there's.

A little path to it. It's a little segregated area. It's quite beautiful, to be honest, ol Fresco. Yes, Yes, it's very sort of COVID era dining, you know, outside easy, breezy.

Well.

I visited my grandfather and grandmother and all relatives at the Double Cemetry. Yes, and you can't even see their plucks anymore. It's full of dust from the because there's.

Little mamous dust. How it's not just any from.

The mice so lucky mice pandemic. There's all these little holes.

My grandparents have already purchased their plots in the bog and Gate Cemetery, and because they're currently alive, they just use that patch of land as a parking spot whenever they go to the cemetery, and so it just means they're closer to the view if they're going to a cemetery or a burial or whatever.

Oh no, how often are they there?

Oh?

I mean their friends are dropping life flies.

They're old at that age. Yeah, you went back home. We didn't even discuss the episode before we went on break. You were talking about the mice plague and you went was it as bad as you thought now?

Because it's nowhere near as bad as the one I already lived through when I was ten.

Yes.

Yeah, my dad seems to have gotten on top of it with his dy traps, so that's good.

We still need to plan a show from bergen Gate. Yes, we'll do a show from bergen Gate. We'll do a show from the Placial Mansion in Lane Cove, and then we will do a show from the from the Shire.

Can we do a show from the Double Tourism Center.

We all get to do a show from one place that has meaning in our lives. We all get to pick, and whether that is I don't know, Jenned nineteenth century Rome, yes, or your pleasure, Benlehem or Jerusalem.

Where you're going to do like a family holiday road trip, get a little caravan go to all of these awful locations.

Maybe we should do that. We should do the anti broadcast like everyone's like the broadcast from the top of the Q one Resort and plaza. We should just go to a bob seafood on the highway next to the train station and do a live broadcast.

I'll just get some potato scollops. I love chicken salt.

I had a couple of prong cutlets the other night in Queensland, amazing contracept with diaphragm Sam. If you don't mind me calling you Christian name. You had an update on the Bunnings broadcast that were planning.

So apparently one of our lovely friends here knows the guy who knows the guy who knows the guy, and it looks like we might be able to make this happen. You know that.

So someone at this radio station obviously works with him advertising and whatnot, and that's and then that we're connected that way.

Yes, I was at I was in a VIP lounge in Balmain talking to one of the lovely people that work in our sales department, and she is a massive fan of the podcast. Oh G.

Listens to every single episode lite.

Wow, so she wants to make this happen.

She knows the guy who knows the guy who.

I don't want to negate your connections, Sam, But can't any old bastard do a bunning sausage? Say well, I don't think we need to know someone, do we?

That's true, But he is the issue.

Here's the issue, right, But things are very very popular, So I feel like we just kind of need to insert ourselves a little bit, maybe just make a bit more of a fan fait.

I know what you meant like that?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, how do you intend to insert ourselves? What's the next step?

Yeah? What do we need to do?

I haven't got that far?

Guys, but he's very busy. He's got a real job as well.

Random thought you could try smoking the doubo dirt from there.

Yeah, that is a very elephant part that niche got me. Yes, I'm not smoking dirt, although that would be a much nicer ornament if I filled it with the dust. Yes, the glass part.

I was very anxious about bringing that back through airport security.

It's not illegal to own a glass parte.

That's what I said. The lady was like, as long as it hasn't been used by any illegal substances. You can bring it. And she said, if they question you about it, tell them it's to smoke tobacco in right, And I said, okay.

Now, you said, babe, I'm California, though, but have you seen documentary.

She wanted to cardiac arrest or something?

Right, she had like seven strokes or some shit. It's ridiculous, poor girl.

I love Demi. I think she's absolutely fantastic.

Actually, I actually couldn't stand her when she was lower. I saw right through it. Every time she got up there and was all preaching. She goes, how goods Jesus and being sober, and oh, I'm the poster goal for sobriety. I would just look into her eyes and think, I can tell you want to be fucked up right now. You are craving everything you've been told not to take,

Californ I love it. You know what's funny the new song, it's all out in the open. She's like, I had a tinfoil meth pipe, but maybe in the kitchen. Like it's very very open.

Yeah, exactly, Yeah, she tells the full story. I love it, and like I said, I've never found her more interesting than now because I'm like, oh, lit's you're being honest. Yeah, I saw right through the churchy fucking sobriety rubbish.

I was playing it on the plane. It's more like a short story. Really, I do love that.

Are you talking about the documentary or the album that wasn't about the least one? Dancing in the devil every night?

Every night? I have been good.

You're a dessert.

I think that it feels like it's worth looking.

Very little singing at this point, like an episode. It's sort of melodic.

Twisting reality, homeless sinsanity. I told you I was okay, but I was lying lying I would.

This is good.

Just so you know, in order to get away with playing so much of this song on the podcast, we have to offer a critique or do a parody of it. It's otherwise we're copyright.

Breach in good taste?

Oh when have we ever been a good taste?

Okay, what could we do?

It's so hard to say?

No, double Dolow.

You should work for the Chasers.

Yeah, I haven't heard the wait for the She talks about an aliminium part. She might be tinfoil rapple something.

It's just a little whieline before that's okay. A little wieline is a little glass par pipe.

Ten foranity almost got the best of me.

I can't praying.

I'm okay. See, I wouldn't have said ten four. I would have said aluminium foil. But that's the Aussie vernacular coming in.

Go down, twist reality.

Less insanity.

I'd argue that that's the second chorus, not exactly a melody. Okay, that's just my criticism. Another one?

Can you put on a different one?

Yeah?

It's called Anyone and I love it. However, I have to be in the right mood to listen to it, because sometimes I'm like, Wow, this song is great, But other times I'm like, God, you're a bit yelly? Aren't you just a bit fucking yelly in this song? Go to the last chorus. You'll know what I mean.

Anywhere, Please anywhere, somewhere, anywhere.

Here, I'll do a critique a bit pitchy.

Bubs lyrics needed work vocally. Six nobody's listening to meet.

You on me.

Beautiful, well done guys, illegally we got played in court?

Was that No, we're actually in the clear.

Were making comedy.

Before the drug overdose or after?

That's on the same as that that song was before.

Oh wow.

It's about turning to heroine and the first three songs that are before and then the rest is after.

Yeah, I see, but that's a new leaf that I love. Like you said, you weren't sold on her now you are. Based on all this music, I'm the opposite for Justin Bieber, like all this hill song music that he's putting out. What Holy and Anyone.

And Anyone isn't isn't the whole album is Christian pop? Well anyone isn't.

Yeah, it's not. It's about the one and only person that who loves everyone thinks it's Justin.

Bieber also have a song called anyone Ah okay.

Right? Oh God, oh God? I get tracks, run into the altar? Can we end at the second?

Oh me?

Oh me.

I don't do well with the drama.

I did drama in high school.

And I can't stand in being a fake anyway.

It's about God.

It's all very Jesus. I'm just reading the rest and it's all very well.

Well it is called Holy Jenn a very defensive of the Christian Church.

Well, she's mindful of things that have happened in this very building when people, yes, you know, make religious jokes.

Yes, you're exactly right. Yeah, I'd impress that that was God. All right, let's get out of here. I'm surprising of Jenna came in and said I'm pregnant and it was immaculate conception.

That would be the only explanation that's happened before.

When when I gave birth to baby Jesus. Mary Magdalene, No, that's the wrong one.

Who had was Jesus.

Month's not Mary Magdalene.

Mary Magdalen was the whore, the nice Mary. Ye to Mary, Mary, Mary Mary, dangerous Mary, all right, dangerous territory, the Virgin Mary. Kyle sandalinz Google.

You're right.

I've just googled the book. It's called The Bible. I'll have to read into it. It's gonna read number two one audible. What if there's an audiobook of that?

Do you reckon?

It would be I've actually been getting into audiobooks recently. Do you have like a pile of books on your side table, and you know you'll never read.

I took one away with me and got through two pages and then when I'm going to sit in the bar and read it, and then it got wet and the page fell out.

Oh.

I've started listening to the books that I have the physical copy of, and I know full well that I will never get to them. And so yeah, I'm into the audiobooks. What do you mean to show me Holy Bible?

I thought I thought of you the other day at the airport. Actually, Kitty Flinagan has a new book and right up your rally.

Yeah, quite a few Bible audiobooks.

Actually, you are kidding me.

I never kid when do I kid?

Very true, Sometimes you.

Just need a bit of audio.

Beginning when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep.

Well, yeah, wow Genesis.

Yes, who's that voicing it?

Anyone of Merrit John Banks?

Oh?

My God, good for him one time.

But they have quite a few different versions. Interesting, I'm not gonna play another one. Yeah, with quite a lot.

I had a friend that had her first Bible and she just had a hot, pink, girly Bible.

Really, yeah, I had the dumb down kids version of illustration.

Oh I think I had that, interesting, Sam, Do you have a Bible?

I didn't have a Bible. I was a good little Christian child, yes, really Catholic child, Catholic school daily.

My athlic My dad has a merry statue of Mary in his Again.

We're teetering in danger with terrible to say it.

He's got a statue of Mary.

I know I've been conditioned to be like, no, you won't be able to help yourself. You'll make a jogular fend someone that we protest is at the station.

Again.

I won't do that. I won't do that.

Don't I can see your brain ticking over. No, it's because I'm just trying to stand very rarely think it's happening.

Guys, will see you next week, Jenner. I'd be here. I don't know why no one is telling me.

We'll check in with her that I messaged you.

You said that I won't be here, but I don't know why you're keeping it a start.

I don't want him to know. I want him to find out on the show because I know it's ridiculous.

It's not ridiculous talk.

You haven't mentioned anything.

I have actually, but you just ignored me.

Are you going away? Will you be at work?

I'm not I'm not answering.

Yeah, we're keeping it a secret. Just fucking be patient anyway. Kate Langbrook will be on too, so that's gonna be allesome.

You've had a Google in the meantime, and if you're on the podcast app listening to us, men, where else will you be listening to us? You can search the three pm pick up it's the Kiss Afternoon Show and you can have a listen get a little taste of miss Langbrook before you get a.

Hurt nex week on the Shelby Very See if you agree with Mitch and say that her and I have the same energy.

Yeah, it's just you've got a you'll be a Kate ling Brook vibe in about thirty years, fair enough.

I wouldn't be mad about that at all. I love her.

We all have our energies. Like actually, speaking of the Bible, Sam is very Jesus hate Christy Yep.

I feel like that's I feel very holy like Baber.

Yeah, yeah, you're.

Too white for Jesus though, Jesus was not white, and Jenna.

I just wish I could meet Kate ling Brook.

Sorry, you're the one that told me you can't come in next week.

Yes no, but sorry Tunnel all right, we will see you. We will see you guys next week. Thanks, so listen in good bye bye