#53: Jenna in a Coffin

People do some weird shit. Hell, I'm Tracy Grimshaw.

Welcome to a parent affair tonight. We're coming to you from my bedroom.

Some the feelings makable since than others.

Hitches Trading gymnast One Commodore Games Gold in nineteen ninety that his performance on the pommel Horse India Marcus, grow up.

Bless yourself for observations you didn't ask for.

You are a cheap tramp and a filthy liar.

This is.

Just I'm still to play a couple of mitches. Reckon.

We should include Jenna's name in the opener.

Tell about a compromise. We'll say your name, but it's said in the simlish drap luby perfect. Now he is mixture and yes for the final time. It's twenty twenty.

I know.

Hi, guys, welcome.

I'm a bit sad about this, me too, Actually, are you no?

You're looking forward to break?

Aren't you so in need of arrest? I justn't want to nab and eat and just watch the Mandalorian and not have to worry about anything.

Yeah, that'll be good.

Genese.

Hi, Jenna, Hi, our third wheel. Of course she's here.

That's a big show for Jenna, first, though, I think you should address it. Here's our Christmas episode. It is.

I've decked the place out looking at and studio, not that anyone listens and see that.

No, Jenna, don't stand up too quick. You'll get a babble the face. But the studio is beautiful, the screens and ice. We're all feeling festive.

And you know what our tradition has become every time we have just something slightly celebratory on that podcast.

Excuse me to reach into my baby standing up. I love this episode.

It's always so much fo It's going to be a loose one. I can feel it.

Sparkling.

Rose, I'm a bit scared. Can you open it?

Of course you're Delda Goodrum and I were in here getting drunk last week. It's just the theme of the year.

I've got some glasses over here, so make sure you guys polish off your wine because you're going to need those glasses again later on.

Oh why, because I'm doing TikTok school with you. Oh yeah, so obviously we're heading on holidays.

And usually when I'm bored, if I'm not creating a podcast, I just find something else to create. I end up making a lot of boring, embarrassing TikTok. So I'm going to teach you some things, so hopefully you get on board too. I feel like you've got to You've got to get on board the TikTok train.

Yeah, you've been nagging me, Jenna every day. It's like, oh, film TikTok, you should do this, sends me them. You'd be great at this trend.

It's just too lazy.

Actually, they're always doing a back arch or a dance or a flipp the vertebrate.

Well wait till later in the show. TikTok School is going to be fun.

Okay, I'm excited for that. Merry Christmas.

We're also going to be revealing our experiment that we've been doing on you, Yes, you dear listener, Yeah, little mice on that show.

We've been conducting an experiment on you guys listening, Yeah you Kathy for the last and how long, like what three weeks?

Three or four weeks? So a month or so. Yeah, some people have cottoned on, yes, so I'm not a majority. Well that's yeah.

We've ended the experiment once people figured it out, but it took them longer than I would have liked. So I'll reveal the results later on and explain everything, but just put it this way. I'm not impressed, not happy with the results at all, very disappointed in our listeners.

Oh okay, God, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

He asked me. The glasses, thank you. One of them is Chip. Oh no, got a whole body day of work ahead of me.

Now, who wants to go first with the gift exchanging?

Oh? Now, this has become a bit of a tradition, it has. I started it last year. I gave Jenna Sylvia the blood fish.

Yeah.

By the by the way, Jenna, about that, we did ask your mum permission to get you another pet, and she said absolutely not so we would have loved We were going to get your budget.

We're gonna get your pet, Budgy. It's going to be in a brown box with holes in it, and I was going to pass it over to you and you would have loved it, but your mum said no. She also says something else that's very interesting me. Do you want to read out the message about Sylah?

Yeah, Jenna, she said, Look, Mitchell, Jenna is an animal lover. You know how dev say that? She was when that fish died died.

It was two weeks ago, and you've neglected to tell us.

Yes, Jitter, we would have done an extra episode.

No, because I'm just very depressed about it.

Well, Sylvia might not have gotten the dignified send off. The Jenna's got a funeral today. Do you guys remember, Do you guys remember recently we were talking about places we can send Jenna as a roving reporter, and as a joke, we said, oh, let's make her do a show from a coffin.

And she was down.

No, she jumped at the offer.

This is a classic case of an inside joke gone too far.

Even I myself don't falling back the idea, even though there's a coffin behind me in studio. Right now, it's actually happening. Now, it's fine, guys, putting Jenna in her coffin.

Should I do the gifts first?

Yeah, it feels a bit. We'll put Jenna in the coffin. She can get a gift in the coffin.

I give it before the coffin.

Yeah, all right, coffin's on. Hold back to Christmas. Geez, the diversity and range of this show, I know, I think we brush show over the death of Sylvia. The show pet too quickly, but let's address that in twenty twenty one. Okay, let's do presents one issue. I left mine at home. Oh yeah, in the rush of picking up the coffin, I accidentally left them under the tree. So you'll have to get them probably next year.

Oh that's bullshit. You don't have a gift.

Well, I don't think we should even dedicate time on the show to a gift exchange if it's not going both ways.

If I'm getting mine in private, so are you No, you've gotten there?

I can see it.

Just do it.

Yeah, I do have it here, but you're not getting it.

I picked up the coffin. That was my gift to the show. It took me two hours. And guys, there was a Morgan there. It's a funeral home. I walked in. I was like, well, you've got your other and on. Oh no, that's a fridge full of corpses.

Yeah, where did you think you were going?

Maybe they just stopped coffins.

We do have to Sorry, this feels very off, but we do have to fulfill our end of the bargain.

We said that in exchange for loaning it's the coffin today would give their business a plug. So if you or anyone you know is preparing for death, Caring Funerals in five doc servers all over the Sydney area. They provide expert levels of care to ensure this difficult time is as painless as possible for everyone involved. Head to Caring Funerals dot com, dot you or call nine to seven one three one tiful five for inquiries.

Adam and thanks Caring Funeral very.

Very very helpful and that went above and beyond. I have to say thank you so much to.

Them, beautiful coffin before we chuck her in the coffin. She'll be there the rest of the show. I may as well give your gifts. I'm furious. I'm furious that I didn't get one.

You have one.

It's sitting under my tree. I have you two gifts from two different shops.

That's yours.

Thank you.

I was thinking I could give Jennier gift but not yours as payback. But they're the same thing, so you then know what your gifting.

This is very heavy. Look you can almost feel that what is.

Look at me empty handed?

No, you've got got the gift.

You've got the JS blees you aren't you? Goody?

I open this, we'll get presence for.

Both of you.

Look like a right royal title, you do, yeah, I do have gifts.

You look like a real prick of a thing. Mary Chris, she's got Jenny.

You go?

Does that tell your name on it?

It's the same name?

No, no, no, what Actually it's the same Mitch, but the exact same thing.

Let's open mitches first. You've already looked in. What do you want to do?

This is all over the shop.

That's fine, it's final show that your will.

Even Jane's present in a nice blue bag. Oh cute, a framed photo. Very persumptuous that I would want to display that in my hunt.

She's given us a bag of Starbucks House Blend coffee.

Nice.

No, no, no, no, haven't you been to reception in the Kiss building yet? This was left over stock from the w s F M roadies.

Are you talking about?

They gave these out as gifts to the street team, and she's just got one from reception. She didn't pay for this, that was just the extra thing. Okay, so you just threw this in because you found it a reception.

Yeah, because it's a nice thing.

Starbucks, what a scab o. Look the stuff I bought and he drove so far for your coffin. He didn't get anything else. Okay. So the other thing is are you dumber than a box of rocks? Trivia race?

Yeah?

Just a fun trivia game?

You really know me? Yep? Are you dumber than the box?

How does it work? I don't know.

So you draw a card, pick a category, shake the box and open the top. Who was the correct answer? You are the rocks?

Well, thank you, Jenny, it's very thoughtful. I'm glad when you saw dumb rocks you thought of us. Yes, I did. That's flattering I did.

Thank youtiful Mitchell. Open yours now? Ye, which is very Is yours heavy? Jenny?

Are they the same thing that's open?

Yeah? I'm excited.

Actually thought, Oh I love it?

You know how I You know how I swear by my lavender eye pillow. I'm always having naps with that little purple thing across my eyes. Well, I got in touch with Rustic Lavender Farm, who do orders over Facebook, Who've got a Facebook store, and I got you guys some there's a little sleep barm with it too, and a candle.

Did you not pay for this was his contract? No, one wasn't contract. I got in touch and then there was a credit line.

Well no, I got in touch with them because I had to buy it on their store.

Helps you saw puffy eyes? Yes, computer strain.

I've always wanted to.

Before you put it on, you have to crush it in your hand to make the lavender. Oh, give it a whiff.

Love it so much?

Where?

Oh my god, it's like I'm in a glasshouse store, isn't it. And I guess by the time you fall asleep it can slide off because you're asleep. It doesn't matter.

Yeah, exactly, that's that's what I do.

Oh my god, it it's very pungent. Has you also lost any of the lavender smell?

They told me the last years and years?

Now?

What's wrapped in this little plastic? Is it a gram of cocaine?

That's the sleeping didn't you read it? I've caught it, my nappack. I put a little explanation, Yes.

Rusty farm in book book, Mitchell. That is absolutely lovely.

Oh, you're welcome.

I adore it. You'll love it.

I know that you're heading off on holiday, so you're gonna want to squeeze in as much sleeping as you can.

We definitely are, Thank you, You're welcome.

All right, Jenna, let's put you in the coffin.

Enough of this crappy buddy whimsical shiit.

This is her gift, all right, Jenna, j want me to help you in?

Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. So I've taken my shoes off as well.

That's probably a pro.

We've propped up in the corner of the room. There's a GoPro in there, so she will be on camera.

We'll have footage on the social.

Yes, so at couple of mitches is where you can check us out. Jenna's going to be in the coffin for the rest of the show unless she taps out.

Are you gonna tap out? Of course not, it's fear factor.

Not.

Let's go.

So I've already unscrewed the top, Mitch, so you just have to pry it off and closing it. Oh, oh, she needs a mic, give her a mic. So Mitch's closing it now there's an led like, oh is this ethical? Oh, now you bring that up test the mic.

I've gone off the idea long ago. I just thought you guys were into it. I think this is so fun.

I've committed, man, I assume we wouldn'.

Actually do it. Thank you Caring Funerals.

All right, here's your mic.

Let's test it.

Here we go.

The door is closing here, yeah, I'll mitch hold on. I forgot you need this. Just four corners top and bottom.

Now you do that vap casual. I'm no handy man.

All right, Jenna, just tap out. It'll take fourteen to twenty minutes to get you out O emergency.

Well smit hot.

There.

Can you breathe in there?

Yeah? I can breathe. How does she sound? Test quicker? Jenna, can you hear me?

It actually sounds quite good.

It's like a audio You've hit the padding, Jenna.

Oh sorry.

Thank you car Funerals again for.

This beautiful You can find them on Facebook.

It's the way of vintage coffin, all right, should we?

I thought it was no no, no, get rid of the organ.

Very I really like that song.

Oh you've heard it before.

This has played at my first funeral.

Recording.

Jennet's lived multiple lives. This was at the War of pokerhon Oh, and I wonder she's so willing. She's been buried many times.

Yeah, Jenna, this is just like going to sleep for you.

It's just another day, is nice.

It's very comfy, nice and supportive. So thank you Caring funeral, no worries.

Was this the Is this the nicest coffin you've ever had?

Absolutely?

The last one was just a cardboard box.

Yeah.

You'll push down the Nile River alongside Moses, won't you.

Oh?

Yes, that was a second.

Then it disintegrated into the Red Sea.

Yeah that was annoying.

This is actual balsa wood.

Oh like it.

It's beautiful.

No conscience is telling me that this is just so wrong, Jenny.

What do you see right now?

Nothing?

Nothing, just some wood.

Anyway, she wanted to do it, Yeah, why not.

Let's start the show. This is what we do it the same way every week, and this is the last one for twenty twenty, so they better be Boddy good is it just means the gems, it's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine, I don't know. Here's Whe're going in blind and I think for the end of the year we'll do classics. Mitch, you start and then I'll.

Go sure, Okay, here we go.

Is it just me?

Do you get nothing? And let's you ask for it?

Oh? Put that on a T shirt.

That's just been my big life lesson of twenty twenty.

Out of everything that's happened, they've realized scrucy around waiting for opportunities to fall in your lap.

Yep.

The worst that happens when you ask is that they say no, but surprisingly often they say yes.

Say say the expression again, do you get nothing unless you ask for it?

Yeah?

I like that because this podcast has grown in a lot of ways that you know, we're thrilled about many, like all these awesome opportunities that have happened, But like we didn't just sit around twddling our thumbs waiting for those opportunities to come to us.

Now, the head of Iheartrated didn't waltz in here mid record and go byes, I've got a girl. Sorry, sorry, you're not in the room. I forget you're in the coffin.

So remember Studio ten, you said on a whim let's try and get on TV. I tweeted them, Yeah, it happened the next week. It wouldn't have happened a few days later.

Yeah, exactly least got a week.

True.

Remember our goal was to get in the local paper.

Yep.

We just called them and asked. We got in the local paper.

Done.

Literally screw sitting around sulking, being like, Oh, why don't these things come happen my way?

Just ask for it, Just ask for it. Even me working with the Arctic you know, the social media agency I've been doing Frost.

Yes, of course, yep.

Do you think they approached me?

No?

No.

I said to them, Hey, you know, branded content is something that I think I'm ready to dabble in. Is that something that you feel like you could help me with?

Do you want to work together? And they were like sure, bub whatever, Oh my god, that's crazy, I know.

And you mentioned us signing this podcast to iHeartRadio. Oh it got to a point where you were like, Mitch, they're not going to sign us. They're just not because I'd been harassing them, like workplace appropriate harassment, harassment.

Going onto the boss's office. Oh are you gonna sign us yet?

It took me a long time to get them over the line, and you doubting us was the extra push I needed to make it happen.

Well, we got there in the end. We did.

We did.

You've also been on quite a few dates this year.

You've asked for those, right, Oh, they I get asked as well. Depends true actually, but you know, one of the guys in the office, he gave me a very good piece of advice. I'm not going to reveal all my cards, but this little tip I'll give because it seems to work more often than not if you want something. If you're trying to pitch something, it's easier for people to say no then yes, so phrase it so that

Hear you saying, oh, we'd like to sign with iHeart is he.

Can we and they go it's easy to say no, so they probably just go, nah, did.

You get nervous just to ask or no? Is it something that you've just din like.

I've gotten you know, I've got social anxiety, so obviously, but it's something that over time it's gotten easier because I've done it quite a few times.

Yeah, right, right right.

But it's like we always say, you've got a hustle, you've.

Got a hussle man. Well, well, a nice New Year's resolution for the show, well done.

It's more a reflection than a resolution.

But there you go.

That's my that's my bit of advice to you. Or don't just sit around waiting for people to offer you shit. Makes it happen yourself.

That's something you've noticed, something you hate to appreciate, that's a double that's a notice and appreciate. Let us go ready for mine apps Literally when you got let's go?

Is it just me?

Does missus Clause not get enough credit? Yes?

Okay, what makes you say that?

This is my point, Jenna?

She seemed really passionate.

Yeah, Jenna, why do you agree with that?

The Santa gets all the praise and recognition and it's probably missus Clause doing most of the hard lifting.

Yeah, but most relationships, there's probably a great woman behind this straight man who gets all the glory. Absolutely, he's in all the chimneys, he's in all the inflatables, in the frontlarns, he's in the lights. I went Christmas shopping, and Hayden went, oh, we have a gay house. Let's get missus Clause. We love women. There was no statue of missus Clause anywhere, no baubles of missus Cause. And you don't hear.

People saying, oh, let's get a photo.

With missus Clause. No one wants a photo missus Clause. And she's at the North Pole. She's probably managing the entire group of elves. I'm sure she does all of their superannuation, organizes their tax returns. She's very on it, and Santa gets all the glory.

The other thing is, I don't know what that missus Clause statue would look like because Santa is very you know, carbon copy. Everyone knows what Santa looks like. Yeah, missus Clause can beary. She can either look like this withered old thing, yes, or she can be like a slut like a Halloween missus Clause costume.

Yeah, like a naughty nurse vine yes.

Yeah.

And that's what pisses me off. The other day we went to We're at Westfield shopping in the city. There was a massive line for the Santa photos and I'm like, well, where's missus Clause photos.

True.

You know, I'm not the only one who's mad about this, right not. Wiggans is serious. Yes, she's very mad.

I don't done me that she when I'm taking its big of wine, Wiggins, your alter ego.

Wigans, Yeah, my alter ego. I actually brought it here. She's furious if she let me get it. She's very mad. She's actually the one that messaged me in very, very strung out texts. You can't text. It's terrible. She said, I've noticed, and then three enters, and then sent that and then another text missus clause. It was horrendous, full of emojis. I've actually got her. I'm gonna go grab her and bring her in.

Oh my god, God, we've gotten to this point, have we where he's not acknowledging that it's him. He's pretending it's a different person.

I don't.

That's Jenna. She's in a coffin right now. It's a whole thing. It's yeah, you really had to be there. Kind of thing.

Reminds me of the funeral of my husband Francis.

No, really, when were you widow dot thirty three years ago to the day to the day coincidence, it's almost unbelievable.

Choked on a carrot.

Oh that sucks that, I'll get you.

Yeah, I hadn't. I had my I had my concerns potentually gay man. But he's doing more with that carrot. When he choked on it, I saw my chair.

Dot's chair just buckled under her way. Anyway, Dot, why are you here, ladder?

I can smell that's glory. Oh, my dear. I was the Westfield Center last week, no missus Claws, and I think it's I think it's absolutely appalling. So I got the number for center management for the Westfield shopping center in the mall, and I would I have to call center management to I have to offer my services as missus Claus for twenty twenty.

Oh you think you think you've got the acting chops to be missus Clause? Do you do you think people are gonna line up for voters with you.

They'll see me down walking down the hall, and they'll pay double the money. And I won't take any of the salary. I don't need the money. I'm very well off. When Francis passed, I got big inheritance. He invented crazines, you see, so.

They hell the crave.

That's like a strade crampberry. Pardon me, so sorry, dear me, Mitchell, can you dial this into the phone box design?

That sounds like a you thing? Does?

Well?

Mitchell's coming right, Dot, I need I'll do it for you. Hold on, sorry, guys, watch out. Dot's so nice. Thank you, Darling. Okay, I want to start the number on you ready for Christmas?

Yeah?

Has your mother? She's fine? I got the runs again. I'm gonna go. I'm daling it for you.

Dot.

No, I think you. Darling is such a lovely boy. Isn't you worried about his way to there?

I can't believe these weird eyes I work with. I've got Mitchell talking to himself and genuine a fucking coffin over my shoulder. You know, it's really sad, but I'm the most normal one in the room.

All Right, I'm calling Westfield Miranda. Welcome to Westfield Miranda. Hello, Darling. Money Press one, the trading hours, Press two, the customer service, Press three.

I think that's what you're.

First.

Three Western Miranda.

Good, good evening. My name's Dot Wiggins. How are you good? Banks?

So?

How can I help you out?

Very very briefly. I just thought i'd give you a quick little buzz Christmas yet. Yeah, sure, I've noticed you're doing the Santa photos. You can get a photo with Santa Claus in the middle of the center. Yes, yes, yes, don't you? What's your name?

Son?

What's your name? Son, James? James? Do you not think it's a travesy that missus clause isn't shown anywhere in the all?

Oh?

Yeah, it's a bit of a shame.

Do you agree with me? See?

Is there anything else we can help you with today? Is there anything else we can help you with today?

Sorry, Darling James. I usually studied back when neither was first installed in eighteen eighty, and I would love to offer my services as missus Clause to the Westfield Miranda service. Sure?

Could I get your contact number?

Then?

Is of course?

Okay?

Sorry?

Can I get your number?

You have a quill? Yes? Just my grandson has told me to do plus plus symbol yes, six four sixty six the number sixty four sixty six six no, six six yes, then four yes, six yep eight mm hm eight yep eight yep who two no? Who? Who's that in the background?

Oh, there's just lots of people around, very busy.

Say two yep seven? Is that it repeated that for me?

Was that six four six triple eight two seven?

Jou? Yes? Correct? Okay, yes?

And can I get your name again?

Thank you? Yes, DoD Wiggins, d O T. Wiggins, Thank you. Would you like to hear I can hear it? Give you a little bit of my missus clause if you prefer, that's okay, thank you.

I'll pass this on to management.

Sata.

Sleigh is broken deer who has the runs. The ls are asleep. We're making her very damsel in the stairs, and I should make it more pound Santa. The dinner is ready. I think I've got the job. James, Well, I'll pass you want to manage in please do? Thank you, Thank you, James. A great Christmas. Merry Christmas, Darling, goodbye James. Whose number did.

You give him?

God knows?

Okay. I was like, am I gonna have to beat that later when I edit this podcast.

I need to go. I need to check my blood Sugar Christmas. I'm so happy like Mitchell is working with two beautiful young women. Thank you both so lovely, and I hope he picks one of you as his bride. One can only hope up you in particularly the beautiful hair, very masculine features down the bottom five o'clock shadow girl in the coffin. I keep forgetting by the wine.

After that, Jesus, where's the fucking sparkling rose?

How did she go? Did she get the job?

It's one of those things I like. I will get back to here.

Oh yeah, we'll contact you, don't contact us kind of vibe?

Yeah, yeah, okay, I think they prefer not to be contacted by her again.

Yes I could. I couldn't agree more?

Is it just me?

You can follow the show online just search a couple of miches.

If you don't, you're a tickhead. Yes, this is the part of the show where you can be featured on the show.

If you leave, it's the review on the Apple podcast app. That's how we'll read it out and then you get sent a special edition. Sorry, we're doing red Rooster about.

Where aren't we were?

I'm back ordering the mugs.

Yes, I've sent them to your house. By the way, have you really?

Yeah?

I ordered them, but to your direct.

Don't to transfer some cash please do? Yes?

Yes?

Ideally under the charity gift.

That I oh Jenna has signed a whole bunch and so if you have what of the mugs she signed them?

I thought we gave them away.

No no, no, no no, you'll you'll be if you if your reviews r it out, you'll get something.

But also, if you don't use the Apple podcast app, you can follow us on Spotify or hit follow on the iHeartRadio app.

Yes you can. Keey Pool has done just that. She says, my favorite podcast. Hey, I just wanted to say how much I love this podcast. You guys are so hilarious. I've been binge listening every day before work. I just want to add a special thank you both for following my Lady Gaga fan page.

Oh yes, I got to follow from a Lady gagar fan account who has heaps of followers, and I was like, who is this?

So I followed it back because I already follow a lot of Gaga fan accounts. And they were like, you're Mitchell Kum I love your podcast, and I was like, you're a Lady gargut bet account.

I love you. See I followed her because I saw you follow her and get a mention in the podcast, So why wanted the extra followers? So then she's like Mitch Cherry also followed me. She'd know it who I was, but she was very sweet. So thank you, Keilely Paul, you are getting a mug or a red rooster, Vandra and whatever whatever comes in the mail. It's like a little pot luck. M Heart nineteen ninety seven says always a laugh. Yeah, could agree more.

Thank you, Thanks very much for the name again.

Oh let's go back to that M Heart nineteen ninety seven. Then we have Tanika doctor, so maybe she's a doctor. So it just goes to show that the low and common, lowest common denominated. I're listening to the show. It's the smartest in the world.

I feel like after a long day of being very intelligent and very vital to society, people need to switch off their brain and that's when they turn to either the Kardashians.

No thoughts are required, Tanika says in during Idiots. Look, it took me a while to figure out how to write a review. I live, breathe, and die for this podcast. Sit back and listen to the soothing voices of Mitch Jury, Mitchell Coomes, Dot Wiggins, and jen A. Benson. Funny, you won't regret it that is that's the review listen to? Is it just me? On the podcast app or wherever you get your podcasts? Great in joke, Very impressed. Well

So I'm a little bit concerned about this because Mitch has stepped up and he's now out acting assistant Deputy sales manager in charge of campaigns and activations?

Is it just me?

So he looks after all the prizing and stuff, and apparently he's gone into deficit. We're now in a mug debt. You promised that too many people, which is why I ordered new ones. What's the go How many do we have?

How many do we owe?

How did you fess up? I'm really nervous. I've got three mugs off, but I think I've committed nine.

I need three more.

More people are messaging. I just forget how many we read out.

The problem is, but I thought that there was a one week limit.

Now that's where I think the issue is. I don't have the heart to say no to people. So people who are three weeks late on the podcast. Go hi, you read my review out in nineteen sixty seven, and I go, oh, I have to send them something. So we need to make it.

It has to be the one week limit. I think you've got to be a tough bitch about it.

All right, you have a week, guys to contact us, and if you don't contact me in the week, you don't don't get the price.

So that review those reviews we to thread out Tanika hit us up yep, sorry at Mitch Cherry and Instagram hit him up, just me and organize it. And then we're going to get a bunch of fresh mugs next year with our new artwork.

And yeah, yea our season three cover.

Or so merch might be coming soon. So we might be.

But even the extra stuff ball is rolling, don't you. Twenty twenty one is going to be huge.

All right, let's move on.

What do we have?

Oh, it's time for TikTok School, Dylan.

TikTok School is where.

I challenge you to do a bunch of things that I've seen on the internet. TikTok in particular, because I've always said to you, Mitch, if you weren't so lazy, you could be a TikTok star.

Yeah, you do say that quite often.

Honestly, if you just could be bothered, you would go viral like that. And often when we go on a.

Break, which we're about to this is our last episode for the year, I get so bored without a podcast to create that I end up just creating.

I need something else to create.

Content comes in this break with your family. You've done the Christmas world, So.

I end up making lots of tiktoks, and I don't want to be the only one because right.

Now it's just me.

Yeah, you see it there. So today Jenna and I have found a bunch of TikTok challenges that we want you to attempt to give you some inspiration. See if you can perhaps make this a hobby of yours. Jenny's in a coffin right now.

Can you knock on the wall or something that's an audio medium? People just think you're in a plastic bag.

As we.

If we granted her her wish, she wanted to do a show from a coffin, so we made it happen. I'm gonna have to be the one that actually does these challenges. That's okay, that's a few with them.

So what's the first one. I'm excited the first one.

I've got three for you today. The first one was started by a chip called Maria McFly where she was talking.

Without opening her mouth. So she was showing off her hidden talents. And I reckon, you'll be able to do it too. So take a listen to her attempt.

Here yourself.

There's no child stuck anywhere, right, No, so her lips never ever open, so it's kind of like, hm, but I can't do it very well.

She can really enunciate each word.

I think I can do this.

Go and give it a crack. Do you have to film yourself? That's the idea.

Oh on TikTok Now just.

Film it on your normal phone, all right?

And do I have to do a setup?

Hey everyone, No, it's not a radio show. No, you just start.

Wait, started to film. Okay, here we go, Bernie Daddy.

I'm taken allee that I can't get all.

Brilliant.

Do it again, but turn your mic up a bit louder, okay, Ernie Dorny and take it alltle that I can't.

Oh my god, wow, seashell seashells dive the seaell.

Holy ship that is one of the weirdest things I've ever witnessed. Oh sorry, what else?

Is it just something you can't do? Peace? I need a sentence without any plosives.

To be honest. That's what I thought Jenna was going to sound like in the coffin. But the acoustics are quite good. That's what we spec Okay, So why don't you say it's something we've noticed, it's something we hate or appreciate.

It's something something you don't do that it's terrifying.

I sound like a Disney cartoon you Cara dog.

Like your your neck fat definitely does a bit of a ribbit.

Sort of thing when you have to do I don't like the air coming true. Wonder if I can.

Block your nose?

Oh my god? Wow, like an animated dog.

Do you know what it sounds like.

It sounds like I'm standing I'm lining up out the front of a nightclub and I can hear the muffled music inside.

Oh yeah, okay, sing something that's good?

Terrified? Wow?

All right, you succeeded with that one.

Well, I will be a viral star. I'll send you that video. Can you send it to the Arctic? You can get me the cash isn't how it worse. He's texted to him and go, you.

Have a good track record of making it viral, so let's babystep. This next one is a cake cutting hack that's gone viral. So instead of cutting it into slices, people just scoop up a piece of cake.

With a wine glass house. So you me this is a good one. So the cake just gets left with this round portion cut out of it, kind of like a cookie cutter. Oh so rather than slicing it, yeah, you just kind of scoop it up.

And then I guess you can sort of just give everyone their own cups and they eat it out of a cup. Correct.

So I'm gonna have to polish off these wines of mine and Jenners because we need empty cups.

Have you finish your almost there?

I'm gonna be so dumb.

Yeah we have. Oh, he's just down to it. Oh, dear Dylan, Oh you'll be in the body coffin before we know it. We have audio right for this with the challenge.

Oh, this one's very visual. So couple of miches where you can find you're going to film the whole thing.

Make sure you film on your phone in one hand yep, because that's how all the other videos look.

All right, here's your cake, so it's just a classic wool is no coals, coals mudcake. It's small. I'm going to give you so you can do you want to film, but I'm going to peel off the paper, the brown paper. Yeah, can I give us an update? Ho are you doing in there? On wood?

Is it?

Is it getting hot and stuffy in there?

You know? Okay?

Is it padded? Jenner? Are you leaning on a side or are your arms crossed like you your corpse?

No, they're they work crossed, but now they're just down by myself. But it's got a nice pillows.

Make sure you don't dig the chipped glass into the cake. I don't want shards all through the cake.

All right, you film there so I don't need to go.

There's no better.

I'm not even joking. I'm wired to do it, all right. So I'm gonna I've got the cake in front of me everyone, I've got one glass and I'm going to shakunkit like that like a cookie cutter. Alright, and I'm going to do one, two three, all right? We get ready TikTok music. Yeah, there's only for the podcast is are we ready?

Three? Two?

One? Let's go. It's a bit messy.

I wish I could say.

That's a dirty rim which has been told that before.

Well, hi too, I'm very responsible.

It's kind of working. Oh there's a bit of rose on this mud.

Okay, Well, if we had more than.

Wow, and so they say that that's the perfect portion. Really yeah, that's what all the videos are saying.

And to be honest, I think they're right.

Did a fat person say that?

Wow?

I think that's a success.

Yeah, if only we had more cups because he meant to do it until the cake's finished.

I can eat it really quickly if I want this big one. Jenna n some cake and you coffin.

It's this show.

It's screwed, shut unscrew it's dre.

So that one was another success.

That was my favorite hack.

Okay.

So the last TikTok challenge I want to get you to do. It's called hey quick question. It was started by a guy called Stephen Glandsberg.

Thanks Steven.

His TikTok youth name is hypocritical Anus. Oh yeah, create, let's not dwell on that. How it worked is you call someone and you basically just keep fumbling on your word and never get to the point. You just keep going and then see how long it takes the person on the phone to crack Take a listen.

Okay, here we go, Hey, quick question?

Yeap, Hey, So I was thinking with with you know, we're kind of looking at you know, with you know, if you remember dating back a couple, you know, with a couple, there's there was at one point at least and you know, I've never really there was at least, you know, I've never there's I guess I when I when I really sit down and think about it, and you know, with you know, Easter and everything, there's there's no I've never.

Oh this is just meant for me, isn't it? Just Yeah?

So, back in episode fifty one, you might recall that you called mine and Jenna's boss now of the digital department, and so I'm thinking, just to make it even you call the big boss dB.

The head of No, I'm not doing that, Yes you are.

Oh hello, I'm the one that said, don't you dare call my boss Kieran that's inappropriate. And now here we are in the same scenario and you're going, no, yeah, but.

This is a big boss of the radio station, and I couldn't. I'm too nervous. Not anyone but him.

I knew he would stumble at the last hurdle, Jenna, anyone. I had such a great succession rate in TikTok school.

But now, but he's gonna know it's coming off your phone.

I'll turn the call idea, But then he won Well, hey, it's Mitch, he's the boss. He has to answer. You go dB, the big boss of kiss It. I'd rather you do it off your phone, though, so he knows it's you calling.

Shit, Where is it? How do you get over here? You filmed it? Oh my god?

Your phone is so disgusting. It's a greasy fingerprints all over it.

Because I was perspiring at the funeral, very anxious. Oh dearing me. I don't think I can. Yes, you can.

I believe in you, me too.

This is this is a lot shit.

I've never seen Mitch this nervous before.

He's my boss. He's given me the radio show.

You're not going to take it off you ak?

Yeah?

I imagine that he's literally he's Kyle and Jackie Oad's boss. He understands that sometimes you have to fuck around a bit to make good content.

Mitch, you made a viral video. Mate, You're fired. Imagine let's ring.

So this is the Hay Quick Question challenge started by hypocritical Anus on TikTok.

Here we are on speakerphone and I got to start with Hay quick question. Yes, hey, quick question. I'm just wondering if you have been across the with a quick turnaround that we were given the time frame between well I don't know if Cathy's told you or not, but between the left and the right, and I don't know how to say it, but no one really knows where to go left or right or and if you are okay with everything that happened at branch on Friday, I'm okay to sort of make it confirmed to go ahead

Look forward to reading it.

Let's put it in writing so then I could sign off on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, just like you signed off on it. Was it was last month. I think the sign off happened for the original file, which I don't believe I got a hold of, which sort of came to Susie then to me and it bounced around for a bit, similar to what happened in Europe back in O seven. But yeah, I'm all good. If you're all good. Yeah, I'm not good man. I won't comment. I'm filming a TikTok. I got ya.

dB.

You're in the pool, aren't you.

Enough work?

Now you call your boss and that your ramble and you don't actually get to the point. It's meant to be very funny.

This will go viral, mate, whatever, All right, bye deeps, but thanks dB.

Wow, he was fine.

I told you he figured out what was going on. He's like, this is content. He started rolling with it.

How was the rambling? Was it all right? Did I pass?

Yeah?

It made zero sense, which is exactly what.

Oh. I love TikTok school.

You nailed it.

When's lunch?

All right?

If you guys want to send us any TikTok challenges you want Mitch to do in the new year at couple of mitches on TikTok that's actually tigers and anything you reckon Mitch should attempt.

That was fun. Are we ready to sort of reveal how we've been punking our listeners for the last month or so.

I'm as ready as I'll ever be to be honest. We all right, guys, we're coming clean. Without even knowing you, dear listener, have been part of an experiment of ours the last month or so.

Like rats in a lab.

So during our show intro the intro music, Mitch has been inserting a little noise It started with yawn to play that for its.

Do some weird ship.

Hello, Tracy Grimshaw, Welcome to a parent affair tonight. We're coming to you from my bedroom, since.

I'm egg you idiots, so you didn't realize your microphone was on at that point. Now that I could have edited it out, but I said to you, I'm going to leave it in and see if anyone says anything.

Yeah, much to my surprise, no one said a word, not one person. And that's when I said to you, shit, do you think the people are fast forwarding through our opener, the.

Thing that we spend arguably the most time on.

Oh my god, you guys should have seen it. It was Mitch and I crowded around this audio production booth.

This eighteen year old staff worker at Kissing.

There as well.

Yes, Chris, we were standing around his desk in the audio production booth. It was like we recorded a sick freestyle rap.

Yeah. We were like, quick change this as that, but put a reverb on the on the laugh and then jennerin similish.

Yes.

We were all so into it.

Yeah, and we were all gesticulating wildly, like the passion was very clear in the body thing.

Wage were like, Chris, it's like a room full of me. It's very excited, a lot of yelling and hand gestures.

And we crafted it to our perfection and I thought, surely our listeners aren't fast forwarding through our opener.

No, so something we change every season. There's new grabs and sound effects every season we.

Do, and it goes for around forty five seconds, which means it's pretty easy to fast forward through.

One and a half skips exactly.

So that's when we decided, after no one pointed out the yawning, we were going to throw in a few more noises as the weeks went on and see how long it took people to notice.

Yep. So the following week, you sneezed during the open up.

Which is trained gymnast one Commodore Games Gold in nineteen ninety that his performance on the pommel horse, grow up.

Bless yourself?

Yack, yack?

How did people? How did you not hear that?

No one said a word, And I'm like, how long can we push it?

I wonder if we have any Uber drivers listening that heard that listening in the podcast and go oh some of the mags just disgusting. Yes, yeack, I agree.

The next one we did with a nose blow.

Oh, this is so obvious. How did we not get any messages? But after we put this in the open he's performed some the pommel horse, grow up, bless yourself for observations. You didn't ask for the bed. Where's it a bed?

So I think that was the point where we did get a couple of messages and I was like, okay, so people have noticed. But it's really disappointing to me that it took that long because it's made me. It's made me confront a reality that I didn't want to face, which is that our opener.

Is not ideal.

In the podcast world, they say the recommendations from the so called experts are you have to get the show name, the host names, the episode number, and the topic you'll be discussing out in the first thirty seconds.

So that's that's like what they recommend when you started.

Yes, that's a guide to the ideal podcast opener. But we're radio nerds. Yeah, so we wanted the big dramatic build up with all the sound effects and the glitches and all that stuff. So we just really indulged in the opener we did.

But the thing, I love our opener. I think it's brilliant.

I love it too, Mitchell, But you just can't you can't stare in the face of evidence and choose to ignore it. So the fact that we've caught our listeners red handed skipping our beautiful opener suggests to me that perhaps we need to shake it up and do the boring way because they don't appreciate our creativity. No, and they don't give a fuck.

And if you guys don't want to enjoy what we've put hours in, blood and sweat and tears into, we'll give you the classic wave. That's what you want.

Yes, So this is another round of Jenitor sides. In fact, yep, she's currently in a coffin.

Knock on the wood up there we go. There's a lot of movement going. Are you itching somewhere or what's happening?

No, it's all the padding.

Oh so we've done this a few times.

We've left it up to Jenna to make vital decisions that we're torn on because I think we need to ditch our opener.

Well, you know, if people are skipping it, you definitely need to take things up.

If they couldn't be fucked even listening to our beautiful creation, then why bother we should do it the traditional way.

You wouldn't skip the intro to the Simpsons, No, as if you would if it's.

The best bar.

The most insulting thing is that podcast apps don't even do that automatic skip intro thing like Netflix, so they're going out of their way.

Oh yeah, that's a great point. That's probably what's to come.

But I've cross checked the recommendations of the ideal podcast opener and I've done up a script.

Mitchell, you go, okay, is it what we should be doing?

Thanks? Oh wow, designed and everything.

So screenplay, grab the grab the theme music, and this is what our podcast opener will sound like as of season three. If Jeneiti sized that, this is the smart way to go. So we have to announce what the topic will be. We don't know what that will be.

Oh okay for next season our first episode back, just make some shit up.

That's your line, quantum physics.

Okay, sure you can say whatever you like. Ye, all right, this is what it'll sound like.

Hello, and welcome to episode fifty four of Is It Just Me? A podcast about the rude shocks of young adulthood. I'm Mitchell Kum and I'm Mitchell Churi. This week we'll be discussing quantum sciences. Before they get started, make sure you subscribe and leave a review on your podcast at.

Let's kick off, the same way we do every week with one. Is it just me each it's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Are you ready, Mitch?

I certainly am ready. Mitch. Hey, guys, welcome to the show.

How's everyone doing? Genere Hi, Jenna, Hi, see Jesus Christ. I feel sick. That's boring, that's horrendous. It's some better homes and gardens bullshit.

But we can't disgusting thing.

We can't ignore the feedback. Our listeners themselves have ignored the carry on and the sniffles and that sneezes. They just don't They haven't even noticed.

I was searching for a bin for fuck's sake, you pigs. But maybe they just love that. Maybe they heard those little bits in between and they went, that's what makes this podcast great. And maybe they didn't question it, or maybe they're nice enough. You know, when you listen to a friends project, then you think and there's a mistake or it's terrible, and you go, oh, I won't tell them about that.

Maybe a friend's short film and.

You think this is shit. How Hey, I'm in trop Fest this year and I wrote and directed and filmed, and you watch it. Maybe you should have let one of those jobs go, and you go, this is this is great, and you don't let them know that. You know you can see the cable in the corner and the life.

Yeah, you never tell your friend that's made a short film. It's quite clearly daytime when you film this and you've just turned the brightness dound and make it.

Think it's nice. Yeah, we're not stupid data.

Yeah, or they're pretending they're in Hawaii, but they're quite clearly at Manly Beach. We're trapped on the beach. No, I can see I can see the Bonda lifeguard's filming under the hopo cually Lara Bingle filming at a biopic. What is that? What is the noise?

Is there a rat scuttling around in Jenny's coffin?

N what's in the back of there?

It's the padding here?

Why is it moving?

I don't know, Jenna, Oh my god, someone of course fell out of the or they forgot to pull a hand out, someone who was in a tragic hand incident.

Anyway, Janet de Side, Yeah, we tak to you, Jenna. Do we be self indulgent and roll with.

Our obnoxious opener that clearly know one gives a fuck about that Mitch has put.

And you know what, I will say this, we've already chosen the grabs to go in for next year.

Oh my word, we short list them as thinnert. The new one's done.

Oh I hear a grab and we're throw microave was in Now it's out. That's how quick we decide on new grabs. Jenna, it's up to you deciding the boring way or our way.

Okay, well, we do have to consider what our listeners want.

The data is there, they skip it, Jenna.

No, I couldn't know. We're doing the our one.

We're keeping the original yep.

I tried to be logical, but no, it was a disaster.

Thank god. That was horrendous, Thank Cross, Thank you, Jenna. We're keeping the original opener.

Here's to being obnoxious in twenty twenty one.

I'm cheosing yours for you, cheers. It doesn't have the same chink to it. Ready, it's just mad against Mard Ready Ready, it's not glamorous. That Yeah, we did it. I guess that technically means we're done for the year.

I know our last show but twenty can you believe we really kept them fed?

Though? I mean, there's a lot of content here to enjoy. Jesus. One of our most listened to episodes is our final episode of season two. Is that right, Mitch?

Yes, season one?

Sorry tunnel. Yeah, Jesus, that's crazy.

Let's see how far this one spreads.

Now we are going on a holiday for a little bit. We don't exactly know when we'll be back yet, but you can keep up to date with us followers both. We'll be doing our own thing.

We're doing our Instagram live every Sunday. Oh, at couple of minches.

Sorry, dots back at the window. Yes, next week you can have the next quick where are they in the cub box? Sorry? Oh, poised pad has fallen out picking up an No, you can't have cake your insulin levels through the Sorry something about a live I missed it. But we'll be there.

Instagram Live out a couple of minutes every Sunday when we're here or not. All right, guys, we better get out of here.

Yeah, we should go, Jenna, thank you for committing to the bit and staying in the in the in the coffin the entire episode that's okay. Are you feeling you feel like you're low on oxygen a bit?

But you know I'm dedicated to the podcast definitely.

We love you, Jenna, thank you for a great year, and we will be back. We're signed with I Heeart. Season three is coming.

Very thankful listening everyone. We can't wait to be back with you next year.

We'll miss you, so are you in twenty twenty one. Actually, hold on way before we go. Sorry, no, I know we were this because you forgot no, Midge, I believe we have a viagra update tore squeeze in just before the seasons. Don't be ashamed, so.

New listeners, Mitch has been checking in with me to see if I've used viagra, which they gave me to counteract the side effects of my antidepressants, because yes, started taking antidepressants recently and one of the side effects is sexual dysfunction. Like, just in case it's an issue, here's some viagra. And you've been forcing me to open up about it on the podcast every week and I haven't had much to say.

They've been forcing you to open up your hope. I believe you were had it on with the listener of the podcast Jenn, Wait, what it's so good? He fucked listener? Are you serious they fucked him?

I didn't know they were listener at first.

To be fair, what's her name?

I'm not saying. I'm not revealing any of that.

Wow, I'm sure they're listening.

Now.

How did it go? Imige?

The viagara worked a treat That was one point to Mitchell Comb's no point to depression.

Take that depression, that depression. Enjoy my second five. Congratulations, So your dig works only with copious amounts of medication. Did Was it good? Did it feel good to have it working?

It was a relief to be like, oh, thank god, it still works because I was starting to believe your theory that your dick is broken, that's what you've been saying.

That's a little bit of bance. Did it? Did it stay hard the whole time and then linger.

After it was hard when it needed to be? It was really there was no lingering. You're still very much in control, even under the influence of viagra.

But this listener would have known, right because he would have heard of the copious renditions of viagra update over the last few wells.

That's the thing I didn't realize he was a listener, and then.

Until what he had cum shirt.

No when I first.

He went the kitchen when I need to drink and pulled out of mug that he won.

He he mentioned to me, Oh, yeah, I've listened to a couple of episodes of the podcast, and I was like, fuck, which episodes?

And so I just came clean and said have you heard of I update? And he goesh yeah, And I was like, that's kind of a relief. Actually, that saves me the awkward conversation.

And then, as it turns out, is not as much of a casual listener as I thought.

Oh he's not just a listener. He's an endurant idiot. No, no, no, our Facebook group you have the secret Facebook group.

During idiot.

Minchell.

Oh my god, that's the best. Oh my god, it's the I agree you are the endurant idiot by the sounds of it. Wow, that's brilliant. Well I'm happy for you. I'm glad it works and the broken dick is finally rectified.

Thank you? Oh I did. I did despise you for bringing it up continually.

Yeah, Hey, aren't you glad that I brought it up? And we had a positive resolution because everyone's listening to go shiit mitches Dick has broken for Christmas. But now they know that it's working and that's a real Christmas miracle.

Well, can I tell you one in eight people in Australia take antidepressants.

Yeah, that doesn't surprise me.

So that's a lot of people.

If you looked around the room, there's like often in this office more than ten people sitting here.

So I may not be the only one.

I highly doubt you're the only one. It's great. There you go, and you'll need to you one after this coffin after today.

Do you know how many men say they've experienced sexual dysfunction?

Yeah?

For twenty three percent, oh jesu. Most commonly a lack of sexual desire, difficulty reaching orgasm or pain during intercourse, and for women it's fifty percent even more.

That doesn't surprise me. Men a shit, So yes it does.

It was embarrassing that you kept bringing this up repeatedly, but then I thought, Bargaret, I don't mind talking about it.

Oh people, there's more people going through it than you would think. And it's not my fault. It's the fucking antidepressant.

Very true, but we also scared. What happens the light?

Oh no, in the coffin. This is where we reveal our plan.

Yeah, see you Joanna. We'll see you guys next year. By Mitch, get the cake. We'll go in the other room. I want some cake. I'm hungry.

Can you unscrew I'm very hungry.

They tied he you guys, make you for they do the bottom ones. Don't forget the bottom ones.

Unscrew me.

Beautiful like concrete.

See you next year, guys.

You is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app or follow on Spotify.

Did everyone leave? Ah?

So it appears that everybody's.

Left me here in a coffin.

I heard the door.

Shut, So welcome to add Reef. I'm reporting from a coffin. It's really shut now. They both screwed it in. All the lights are off now, so I can't see anything that Yeah good stuff. Yeah now, I can't believe they left me in here and a million of coffin Like some of you would be like, oh no you're not, but I really am like.

Unscrewer unscrewed.

Fine, get the shop done.

I can't get.

There.

Wait did you want to stay in there for she can stay in, but open the lead.

It'd be nice to see her face.

Oh oh, dear god, oh your hair looks disgusting. You've got to in colmen, she's got coffin hair.

Oh, Jemma, Hi, we got you the no staying there is she?

Do you ship?

What do you want to do?

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on the end. We trick people out of listening so that we can embarrass ourselves even further. This this, this part of the show is nothing to be proud of, which is why we keep it a secret. We go on, weird tangents, we carry on. This is the most indulgent part of the show.

Oh yeah, a lot of people love this show. It's a favorite part.

Fifth part. Yeah.

Someone messaged me the other day and they were like, I was this close to taking my car back to the car dealership because I thought car play was broken, because whenever I finish our episode it said there was thirty minutes left to go every week and he's like, my car is broken, it's brand new. But no, he just wasn't getting to ad Debrie.

I'm not even kidding at least like every maybe not every week, but every two weeks. Sorry, someone new discovers AD debrief.

The thing is, this is where you get the co word and the entry and that the details of our secret group on Facebook called Endurant Idiots E n D. You are a MT idiots. We post behind the scenes content. It's a bit of fun. It's a little community. Now is there's almost a thousand people on that.

No, it's so much fun.

It's a little home and we love we love all of our idiots and you can join just searching during idiots. There's a couple questions to answer. It's pretty easy. All you need to do is the name of this segment, which of course is AD Debrief.

Hey quick PSA to everyone now that we're in we're in the thick of Australian summer.

Don't drive with a pair of thongs on.

Make sure you take the thongs off while you're using the pedals, because I nearly rear ended someone on the way here. You're kidding, because I always take my thongs off, but I don't know today, I just forgot and I went to push the brakes and my phone got caught, so like there was a delay.

I was like, shaite, no, I could have I could have been killed again.

Dig again Jesus, yeah, yeah, second touch of death.

You could have been here.

I had to pick the coffin and people don't like when we eat on the podcast, especially mate.

Again some credit. I had to pick up the coffin from Caring Funerals in five Dock. Thank you again for the coffin. Guys, it's absolutely beautiful if you do need a coffin. In all seriousness, mate, they love the fact that this was for comedy. The lady I walked in, no joke. It was pouring with rain. I parked the van on the side. Should I hel me help you because you're a guy. No, there's a woman there. I've been. I've been talking to Adam who owns it. His name

Isn't that fun.

I'm very sorry, but we don't normally do fun things like this. In all my thirty years of making and selling coffins, we've never done something like this.

Well, it's not an easy thing to integrate into an entertainment show with it, No, no, but we've done it because we're fucked.

I wonder if there's anyone out there that are really offended by this. Well, yeah, that's what I.

Was worried about, like someone who's recently lost someone. Yeah.

Well, maybe it's one of those things where it's so dark that you can't help it laugh. But I hope that's the case, because I was horrified.

I genuinely hand on heart.

I just assumed by leaving this task in your hands, it wouldn't happen. I was like, Mitch always forgets that he'd agreed to ship. Mitch doesn't take responsibility. He's going to forget to organize the coffin. And then he sends me a message from inside the bloody van going to pick it up, and I was like, oh my god, he's actually getting the coffin.

I was horrified, But I'm bad when it comes to like paying your back for a subway cookie you've brought me, not when it comes to this.

They're actually quite.

Good with that, am I.

Here, You're quite good with that. But this is the most dedicated I've ever seen you to any content we've ever done.

To our podcast. I'll say to you, hey, can you get a Twitter sound effect? And you're fuck around for months being like, oh, I've just been so is he the ops roll my raining. I had to speak just fugging down to god Rump and you always put that the easy tasks off, but this is the most elaborate task ever.

You had to inquire about the coffin you had to lock it in.

I had to sell it too for free.

You have to sell.

You had to promise all these things that we would deliver, And then you had to speak to one of the people in campaigns and activations here saying can I borrow the kiss van?

You know what?

Staying in the kiss van all weekend? God forbid? They go out to Buddy Western Sydney. Oh can't. He's a frosty cold cad of coke. He's a bag. Oh my dear.

They just use the coffin as an eski. So you're not taking this back today.

No, it's going back on Monday.

Oh, we've got it all weekend.

You could sleep in it.

Yeah, it is very comfy.

Try hey, I'll try. Oh, yes, there's like I'm not being mean. This is no way you're going to fit.

It's just the Yeah, we're the headphones.

I don't need them now you can hear it.

Oh no, it's right. Well, my dumpers in.

Oh that's a tight square.

But I'm in. No, it doesn't fit me heightwise.

Jenna, Jenna, these are eight hundred dollars shoes. Jenna, try and put the lid on.

Oh, one arm's in you.

Know, there's not even your cliff won't fit your elva's hair.

My lungs are being squashed.

Get out, get out.

I'm actually wedged, Mitchell, Look at my shoulders, they're wedged in.

Looks don't look comfy, does it?

Well?

I guess if you're in here, you're not exactly leaving a reviewer. Oh my god, and me with my body?

Can I just say, there's actually nothing that sounds more horrific to me than an open casket.

Oh?

I agree, I've never visited one of you guys. Get on, Mike, Jennifer, god's fake. I don't have this conversation. If you're over there, let's.

Get rid of this music.

Yeah, I'm over it.

Have you who?

Four?

My aunt was her clearly her wishes to have one.

No, it wasn't at the funeral, it was before.

So they put the lip.

They popped the lid on forever, all the normies, but the family got to see this. Well, like a VIP mourner.

That's how it works, right, is it how it works?

It's like a special room.

She had meet and greet passes.

Wow, and they do their makeup and all that.

Yeah, the funeral home. Yeah, that's exactly this what caring funeral will do.

Can you call Adam our mate and we'll say thanks while the line, But do you pop a bit of fucking face a bit of cake on the bloody remains?

No, we don't want to be insensitive, though, do we.

That's a good question, though, literally just put her in a copin for an hour. That's insensitive.

Good point.

This spirit has departed, but there remains remain on.

I want to ask. I'm going to get Adam's number up. Who he wants to be buried and who wants to be cremated? Obviously, Jenny of b You've had both choices done to you in the past. You've also been burn at the steak, which is no longer tried and tested. Both correct? What do you guys want? Is it all sort of general consensus cremation?

I vibe a cremation because I couldn't make the decision do I get buried in bogen Gate or if I get buried in Sydney. So I would like whoever is my next of kin or whatever the fuck? I would like them to draw on how well they know me to decide where I ought to be. Scattered bits of me. I want to bitter me in bogen Gate, bitter me in Sydney, bitter me places that mean something to me, And it's up to them to decide. One of them might be the Capital Theater because I love seeing Wicked there.

It's really nice.

One of them might be, you know, the cafe down the road that I love. It's up to whoever is scattering the ashes.

Did you know with cremations they also cremate the cough when you're in Yes, everything, So how do you know what's.

You and what's the cough? No, because it symbolism and I for fux that.

No, No, it's a good question. My aunt was cremated. Yeah, No, it's not this coffin. This is a display coffin. It's like a I actually think it might be cardboards.

No, it's the coffin that this coffin they decant the body into a shitter coffin. No, it's like you don't mind that they flip it.

Out like a Christmas pudding out of the red coal plastic.

Like I've gone to all this trouble of lacquering this fucking coffin. I'm not going to ban it. I'm gonna put it in some ship thing and then.

See that's what the budget funeral homes will do. Caring funerals wouldn't do that.

No, yeah, well after when he's on the phone, I've.

Got him number. Let's call him Adam. Very nice guy. This also may be the home phone because it's the family, so it might be the wife that don't caring funerals.

How can I help you?

Oh, I'm just wondering if adam's there?

Please? Oh no, sorry, he's just popped out.

Yeah, he's just not in the office.

At the moment. No worries. All good. Can I help you?

Did you want to leave a message?

No, it's all good. We'll call him on his mobile. Okay, probably, Thank you so much. That's the that's the woman that helped me. Beautiful, she sounds. She was so sweet.

Why didn't you say good a mate?

The went well, it was too much. Should I call back.

Let's go to Adam.

I've got his number.

H m hmm.

Okada is Adam? Yeah, Adam. See, I think he gave us a wrong number. That's what happened to me when I tried to call last week.

Oh that's weird.

Unless he changed his phone. But that happened three times to me so that I text and then I finally got on to me like, not Adam, and you've got the wrong fuck.

Okay, we'll call back at the Caring Funeral's number and ask BEV for Adam's number. Is the name Bev, but it's assumed. See, hi, bitch, it's me.

I'm exhausted.

Oh we can go.

No, no, no, it's the last episode of the year, so we're sing danced.

To it, Caring Funerals.

How can I help you?

Oh it's Mitt from the radio station. Oh, I'm so good. I just wanted to say. It all went so well. It was perfect, It worked a tread. Oh beautiful.

I'm so sorry.

Kathy didn't know anything about it. Oh I thought sorry, I thought this was Kathy. Hello, you know it was No, it's not a problem, Jinn, I'm here with my co host Mitch and Jenner are here, Gina.

Would you like a live review of the coffin?

Oh?

Yes, Jenna.

What did you think of the general It was very.

Very comfortable, and I really really liked the support.

It was so so good.

Oh excellent, So.

Please me and my colleagues can't wait to have a look yeah.

We've got photos and we've got some audio, so we'll send it through to Adam. That's actually why I'm calling. I don't have his mobile number. Would I be able to grab it? We just want to call him and thank him.

Yep, he's just his family at the moment.

It just waited a little while, but his number is zero four. Yep. Awesome, Thank you so much. That's amazing. And thank you guys. I mean you guys were nothing but helpful. We really appreciate your help. The coffin was beautiful. Well it works, you succeed. Thank you a great Christmas. Okay, yeah, you too, all of you you too, see bye bye. She was so sweet. I thought I wasn't going to

You were on the run. I was on the run.

I had to ask care in funerals if their place, and I did. Actually it's called had I'm speaking of.

Can you implore? When he ended, it's my default that I.

Was gonna do what he did. Sound like he was at a funeral. The previous call, someone in the background was giving a eulogy. Adam, it's made from case. How are you.

A good high? Good?

Are you? I'm good man, I'm good. Do you have a time? Do you have time to talk or no?

Not?

Not good? Not a good time? About two minutes, I'll be free. Okay, all good, All good. We'll give your wiyse back.

Okay, sounds good.

Thanks mate, he's definitely Is that a funeral?

At what point of the funeral?

I don't know, but we probably should considering we have to wait ten minutes. We'll be back after this job. Yours FM time. Last one for the year. It's all good, last one for the year. Hey, should we talk Christmas? What are we all doing? You got bog and gate. Jenn's going to applace your mansion in four clues. What I'm going see this is what this is where this comes from you're gonna ask, do.

You know what I'm planning to do with all my I'm off? Yeah, I'm going to go on a bunch of dates, really.

Because my excuse usually is I don't like dating midweek because I'm tired.

I've got to go to work. I get up at three forty five am. And so now that I don't have that excuse to fall and I'm gonna I'm going to be swiping my ass off, don't you worry.

I'll be doing that.

I'm going to be going Tinder left, front and center.

So I guess a good question is am I allowed to do Viagra updates in the new season season three?

Or?

Who was that sort of a cap on the via gra update? Did we get the final update?

Well, we've established that it works. Are you going to ask me every time? Hey, Mitchell, did you have a rectile dysfunction?

I probably don't need that level of detail? No, I don't know. I do so, Jenna, you're going to Dubbo? Yes, lovely, who's in Dubbo?

My whole family?

Love?

I didn't know that.

Yeah, pretty sure.

Geez, great fucking answers, guys, God, excuse me, I gave you so much bantage just then.

No, you were great. No, they're a and I'm not interrogating.

You were going to cremate.

It been a coffin for over now, yeah, Mitch, She was like, she just got off a long hall flight.

Yes.

Yeah, there's something about being in a coffin for an hour that makes gender looks like she's just She's in the middle of a layover.

Flight to London in Abu Dhrby with awful humidity. Her hair was all fucked.

She had her headphones half on around her neck. You know when someone's traveling there was got headphones on their necks.

She was drooling.

She was so dehydrated she ran for the caramel modekat. You know, when you get to an airport, you're like, give me any food.

That's true, I will have stale, hungry decks.

You need to you know the fun You know, I've said this on the podcast. You know when you have plain food, you're always like, feel terrible after they filled that food with anti laxatives, the opposite of ax. They make you firm up. They firm everything up because they don't want everyone shitting in the toilet. They don't want everyone having the runs, So they actually put medication in

I've never noticed I have. I'd just hate that feeling when you've eaten all your plain food kind of you can feel it sitting in your stomach.

YEA. Well.

The worst one is I was on Quantus flight when in and out of Los Angeles and you start sitting there with your eye mask on my lavender pillow from now thanks Mitch, and then you sort of sit there and you have the light hum of She came over and she was like, excuse me, pizza pizza bytes and woke me out and gave me pizza. But I'm like, I'll take it. I'm not hungry in the sliders, but thanks she woke me up to give me pizza bytes.

So my mask when I was on my I mask when I was on a Eddie had flight. Eddie had that we filled with dinner, yes not ever emirates.

So Eddie had the mask. One side was green and it says wake me up. And then the other side was red and it says leave me the fuck alive.

Genius.

So if you if you're deep in a slumber and you don't want to be woken for food. You put the red side up so that the flight tenants. No, don't disturb them.

The bitch needs a rest.

This lavender mask, did you crush it up beforehand? Yeah, well and truly crushed. I'm going to just talk to the podcast for about two minutes and just see if I get my sleep.

No, because you're going to be you're gonna be on. You're gonna be trying to perform true in through your nose too. Well, put it back on, put it back on. Okay, everyone listening, Let's do it. Let's do a really quick mindfulness. Oh I've got to get the anti anxiety.

People want the music. It's how it works. What do I do?

Everyone will, Mitchell, you can crunch it, but everyone at home doesn't have a fucking lap and a pillow.

Hop it on your eyes, all right, on, head back, all right, arms by your side. Your arms aren't by your side.

Putting the by your side, all right, dislocate their heads.

You're going to start by relaxing your right shoulder. Focus all your energy and relaxing the right shoulder. Relax the left shoulder, and now we're going to work our way down.

Relax your elbows, Relax your wreaths, Relax your fingertips, finger my finger, Relax your knees, Relax your calves, relax your ankles, and now, toe by toe, relax your feet. Breathing through your nose and out through your mouth.

And if you noticed wandering thoughts drifting into your mind, that's okay. Just bring your attention back to the present and relax and focus on your breathing in three your nose and out through your mouth.

I think I killed him. General, he's dead like a lot. Let's get fucking photos. Relax your chin and your other chin.

Fuck off. Wow that works, doesn't I felt like I was an eagle soar in the Saharan playing Yeah.

Oh I don't.

Yeah.

I had to actively restrain my bow from letting go. Was that relaxed? I wanted to urinate all over my terry toweling purple fans. Wow. Another TikTok trend is successfully dad by? Is that a trend?

I was like, that's not a TikTok trend, that's just mental health, Salan.

Let me tell you that was brilliant and back in my here today, is when I lived in New York. We did that every morning we had to move I told her about my movement class, given movement, I did movement every morning in eight till ten.

Well that's the first for you, isn't it. Movement.

I was the fittest I've ever been. We had to do one exercise called the Goku egg thing. And if you had a class of like twenty right and no joke, our teacher, Renee beautiful woman, would play music just like that, and she goes, today, we're doing Goku egg class, line up at one side of the room and we don't have to shove for us, and we're all sort of like actors, so we're all doing a bit. It's like, well, yeah, trying to be fun.

I can just imagine awful.

I'm like, what side to be on the roof? And then I walked to the side and she was like, we have to cross the room one by one without touching the floor. Good luck. And we're all like what. And then at first you do silly like you try to get a grip. Literally, I'm like, Renee, I don't have time for this. I don't want to be in a score says you film I don't want to be on a good place. I don't want to be fucking

That sounds like you could really fuck your neck.

Oh, it was horrendous, and I was nervous.

There's nothing, there's nothing about that. That's entire thing.

Well, she did. I didn't want to do it because I was worried about my weight. Little did I know that I would actually blow out The next three years back then I was like a tweet compared to what I am now. It was really had nothing to worry about, if you know. And I said, I don't want to do it. And then she said, everyone go to Mitchell, and everyone came to me, and she went everyone to raise your hands, and they all put their hands up, and they gave me raiki energy to feel empowered, to

It was very emotional, but I am that's so emotional. You don't have to be a fucking egg. I could be an egg.

No, it's theater. We also did another exercise right called enter Should we try it? What is that called? Enter? Laughing? Exit? Crying? So you had to walk into a room like this ready.

Thank God, please please give an example and sane, insane?

Why don't I you you that insane?

Why do I you do that? I don't know, it's ridiculous. I haven't had any acting works in argon of Jenny that you couldn't differentiate which is laughing or crying? You never can, No, try, come on, miss former Home and away extra, give it's what you've got your enter laughing and then.

You leave you try?

Okay, already, so just another day.

Hold on, Adam's calling.

Oh fuck, all right it ten minutes.

You're right, Adam. I'm good mate. How are you hi, Adam? Adam Mitch is here in Jenna. We host the podcast together. We just wanted to say the coffin was amazing, Thank you.

Would you like to hear a live review of the coffin general? Give her feedback after being in there for an hour?

Did you like the bottom of her more comfortable for you? I loved it.

That I put the mattress and a pillow in comfortable.

Most don't get that.

Oh yeah, that's that I put a little bit so that I was just a little bit.

More comfortable for her. Oh beautiful. You're very thoughtful.

You're amazing, Jenna loved You're the best. Appreciate everything, Adam, See you mate, Thank you bye. What a nice man.

What a glowing endorsement from Jenna. I've used their coffins and I love.

It should call him back and go, oh, adam, I'll excuse me, coffin, do not Where were we before that? Jenna was about to enter, crying and to laughing. Go for Jenna?

Can I have another scoop of mudcake?

Dylan's not good past of the guys. I've got to start my job very soon.

Doesn't matter, it does in She comes all right?

Go for it.

So quick? That was so quick I don't even notice the change.

She whales like that when she cries.

I haven't seen Jenny cry. Oh, I have crust crying pleasure? What kick you? Sorry? That was really creepy. Meet you give it a try. No, I don't think I can you reckon? You'd hate acting school. It's so wanky fucked Goku egg Mitchell Chury. Across the room, some bitch Renee from Long Island from New York was lying down and I had to somersault on her back to get across a room in a warehouse in Brooklyn.

I'd rather be dead.

It was a lot, and I was very sweaty, so raiki energy. There's no leaves? What he need to rake? Oh a bit much if you ask me. But I loved every moment of an Atlantic acting school in Manhattan.

If you want to get across, don't give them a credit line. They didn't give us ship, they didn't.

They gave me me. They gave you me.

And he's a handful and a half.

What a great year it's been, guys.

Oh, it's just been the best, delightful.

We'll be back soon though. Don't worry if you miss a sicking look at our socials or we'll be doing things.

Yeah, like, in the rare event that you do miss this, listen to old episodes or something. Surely there's something you forgot, we said once.

Yeah, every listen that you guys give our podcasts, we get thirty thousand dollars now, so please just listen to one out way you asleep? How don't buy me in your hundred jazz. If you listen to two episodes sixty thousand.

Listen to three, so you all get thirty thousand and three.

We all get thirty thousand, and we still won't give out any mugs. We'll keep all the money and not give anyone any prizes.

Well, anyway, it's been a fuck whole of a year everyone, but we've loved hanging out with you.

Oh.

In all seriousness, this podcast has been shining ray of light.

Though.

I'm glad thank you for listening because really, well and truly, no one has to listen to this.

Why would y'all?

Yeah, people are busy, so thank you for listening. I couldn't do it without you. We appreciate you, we love you, And Durant Idiots is where you can be. I'm sure we'll be posting over the break in during Idiots, So if you want behind the scenes of extra content, join the goddamn Facebook group.

Guys, please, We'll see you there. And I'm determined to go Instagram live every Sunday. Yeah, I can't hear you over the my fat pig co host. You might not show up and I'll do it.

That's not fair to Lease. She's not your co host anymore.

Anyway, Thank you for listening.

Guys.

We love you, we appreciate you.

We do.

Who's this?

This is?

Oh my god, you'll never believe it. White Lady Funerals. They're furious we didn't go with them. They're mad that we went with number on coffin Company in the Inn West.

Yea rot in hell?

What lady? Yeah, rock Lady funerals, rot in Hell, rock, lighty funerals.

What lady funerals well like Petrid fluck Guneral, Rans the.

Dog Funeral, stank Us Home Funerals, feral mock funeral. Oh they did nothing to us, nothing at all. Thank you again to Caring Funerals, and thank you to all of you guys for listening in twenty twenty for keeping us afloat. We love you, and we will see you with a refreshed new show in twenty twenty one. We will catch it in see you guys already, Love you, Bye,