#5: The Missing Budgie

People do some weird ship.

This is a big one.

This is for the girls.

This one.

Some things make more sense than the others.

Whimsy lowhand in the face after trying to take a boy away from a mother. You're a good little boy.

I won't leave.

Enjoyed the kill. Love this yourself for observations you didn't ask for.

That's the line.

I see it quite clearly.

Well, get new glasses, just stick couple of mitches. One is clearly better than the other one.

I can't agree. Now Here is mich Julie and Mitchell Ko Episode five. Hello Mitch, Oh what straight into it?

You are going to be so proud of me?

Or hit me?

What? Well?

You know how you're a bit of a fan boy of all things Apple products.

Yeah, I'm a bit of a nerd like that. Love me tech.

I wouldn't call you a nerd. Apple very mainstream, right.

Well, I love love because I've got the new iPhone, got the new Apple Watch, Apple TV.

What I've come into the new decade? Can you believe? Oh you haven't guess what I got?

What do you care?

I got those the headphones that the ones that haven't caught on it?

You know? All right?

Grandma, you got AirPods?

Sure, congratulations, thank you. Do you have them with you?

I do?

Look, show me you're in that little yeah, a little yeah.

It looks like a ta container. There we go close it, look at and.

Go, oh one more time. Why I just love the sound going and go turn.

My mic up.

So oh that sounds great.

I really did think that I would be more impressed by it.

Oh, you're not You're not throwing I did.

One of the ways I justified it, like spending three hundred bucks or so on a pair of headphones, was that because whenever I go to the gym, I always find myself really distracted on my phone. And I thought, if I had these AirPods, I could leave my phone in my gym bag and be able to control my music with the head probably. You know they've got the touch control you can talk to. I thought that you'd be able to adjust the volume on the music to with the AirPod.

You can't.

But the only way you can adjust the volume is by talking to Siri. Like, imagine me in the gym, like, hey, theory, turn it down phone.

I've had phone calls with you in the gym. You were so puffed. Hey, Sirien.

Exactly.

That's how our phone calls always go so very upset.

I really thought that you'd have more control with it. Literally, all you can do is skip the song. I thought that there was if you did, like if I've only had them for a few hours, and I thought if you did like a special combination of different gestures and things, it would do different things.

Like I was like stroking it.

I was basically finger bashing these headphones, being like, does it do anything else other than skip?

Can't even pause it?

No, you can't. If you take one out, then it pauses it.

That also pisces me off because sometimes I like to listen to music with just one headphone, and.

Then you have to press play again on the iPhone then will start just one.

That's no good, that's so inconvenient. I can't believe I spent so much money on this hy.

Yeah, there is actually a spy feature. I actually want to tell you about it now. There's a super spy feature that I use all the time, and it's even I'm wanting to use it to help me get more money in the future in like contract negotiations. This lets you hear what other people are saying about you in another room. Really, Yeah, okay, I'll tell you about it.

Yeah.

Here, you can teach me about that later. Okay, Hey, should.

Should we just the elephant that's offensive to her?

But should we draw the elephant in the room? Make name miss Jake. What are we addressing though.

The gazelle in the room, which is very gazelle like? Oh?

Yes, producer Jenna's back.

Hi, welcome back, Thank you.

Hello.

I'm so glad you could be bothered to join us.

Excuse me, Jenna. While you were gone, we plotted something just so you know. We've got something coming up later on that you're going to hate.

I don't want to hear it.

We've done something on your behalf. We're trying to get you out of your comforts and.

Actually no you have not genuinely. I wish you could see as.

Soon as I said comforts though, what can you take your headphones off?

Forecone.

First of all, I just want to say I thought it was a present for me.

No, it's not a good surprise. We had been telling her that there's a surprise. Take your headphones off so I can tell everyone what is poor.

Thing thought it was a president and she's pregnant too, So okay, we turn everything down.

If you haven't heard the news, Big Brothers coming back to TV. Yeah, so we've signed producer Jenner up. We've done an application for her to be on Big brother Yeah.

And because Jenna is so shy and doesn't really like to be the center of attention, I know that she's in a freak out.

This is the type of person general is this. She will hate this.

I'm going to do a little time travel teaser right now. Just edit in what her reaction is after we've done it.

So this is what you've got to look forward to.

Did sure get the papers? Please?

Here we go now, Jenna, calm down. We'll do that later on. Also, mit, I believe you're giving me a taste of my own medicine.

I am. Well, normally we have we have our segment. You got to hustle, So.

I've got to do something really embarrassing and we time promote the.

Show in order to get us and you listens, Yes, so it is you gotta hustle. It's back this time you're in the spotlight. You gotta hustle, boy, And I'll sit back and I will enjoy it. And Jenna and I will laugh hep me, Jenna, We sure will, Jenna.

I should also tell you while you were gone, we've changed things majorly.

Yeah.

The way we do things around here are very different. Now I'm not happy we did not get your approval. So last week, episode four, if you missed it, we were listening to the other shows that are also called Is It just Me?

There's quite a few podcasts with the same names.

Yeah.

I reviewed all the other competition if you can call that, yeah, and one of them, do you his name was Actually I'm gonna get that it was. I will say it was the lowest rating Is It just Me? One review, one star and it just said terrible.

And yet we've decided to take in from him.

Jenna, no approval from you. We're taking a leaf at it. Jabrielle Paramal's book.

There we go, name time five seconds and now it's time for me to fox some shit up.

How the fuck are you? Yeah, I'm fucking mad. So I thought I'd just.

Turned the microphone on.

I got a couple things built up. There was no bells and whistles, no sound effects. It was very raw, unfiltered and amateur, and we said we should do more like that instead of instead of us coming here and talking about what is it just means we've noticed from the week, we should come with voice memos that we recorded in the moment.

And play it to each other. So that's how we're doing it, Jenna.

Yep, we're still starting the show the same way we do every week with our igems. Now let's jump in you ready, Yeah.

Sure, I'll go first.

This is my voice kick it off?

Is it just me?

Gosh, blimey, isn't it just the best? When I mean it could just see me, I'm in this whole point of the fucking show.

Who knows if it is just me?

But don't you just love watching male covers of female pop songs on YouTube.

It's currently a nine thirteen pm in the evening. I'm on YouTube. I do this often.

Just type in here in YouTube the song title and then just the words male cover and I'll bring it up.

Let me just do it. Let's go Wildest Dreams Taylor Swift male cover. Let me just fast forward a bit and go that sounds great.

West is.

Seven eis Can you stand it? He sounds great?

Serious?

Eli l I? How do you say? It's last name? Eli?

Lib?

Like l I E B.

It's not bad looking. I would put him on a plate and stop him out with a biscuit. That's quietly there we go.

What was that? So?

Is it just me or a male? Song covers on YouTube really great to listen to. I do love it.

I didn't even understand all I could. He was a keyboard. It's something like kitten was running over a whole bunch of corn flakes.

That was the point. We're meant to be more amateur when we do this while we're trying to copy this guy.

Yeah, it is just you. I've never once done that in my life.

Here's one it's only love can hurt like this by Tom Vaughan. Fuck enough, only love can hood Life.

Only love kN hood Life.

Must have been a deadly kid. Yeah, I don't know why I love it.

It sounds like he's obviously had to slow down the baseline for copyright reasons, so it sounds like something out of Haunt and he's a who like boom boom brom boom boom.

These are people just making song covers on YouTube. They're not supposed to be super professed.

Working at centing by day and then covers on YouTube. By night.

It's fun hearing other people's interpretation on the song that you know and love.

I don't know why even just stick to classics well.

Because sometimes when you listen to the same song over and over and over and over again, it can be fun to listen to a different version, you know how, Sometimes the acoustic version is nice to listen to.

Yeah, you're right, you open you know what? You open my eyes to live performances. So like one of Gaga's albums is Juliet or something, Joey and that one and you had Auntie Leanne step Hardy, Karen David's girlfriend Barbara. You introduced me to that album and I still listen to this day because it's so much It's so different.

Live versions of songs, and so this is an extension of that.

Would you ever do it? Because you have a YouTube channel? Did you ever do male covers?

I have to be able to sing now, I'm not going to be getting into that.

No, you can follow the show online.

Just search a couple of miches.

If you don't, you're a tickhead.

I didn't mind that style of presenting our is it just me to each other?

It definitely changed the pace because.

Sometimes when you're in the heat of the moment you think of these it just me you want to cover, you kind of lose the passion. When it comes to the day of you're like, oh, actually, I'm not feeling the same way about this topic. So if you just whip out the phone member and do it then and there, you're not gonna forget.

Yeah, you're not wrong. Mine mine was a bit different. I think I took on a bit of what's his name? Pablo Escobaro of the podcasting, what's his name again?

How do we keep forgetting?

It was just yeah? Or jabriel Paramou Okay, she just sounds like a pack of cigarettes my dad would smoked in the eighties. Gabrielle Paramou reds, how did you go? I'm ready to go? Here is my.

Is it just me?

It's even working, fux. So I'm just in the car driving currently the air cod turn the hair cot on.

Shut up, kids, daddy's working. Do not touch the backseat air con in the carrago without my permission, So Brax, then stop.

Welcome back to episode three three six, or it could be three three four. I don't even know who the fuck knows anymore. Oh, speaking of more. I went to the doctor and they said I need more medication, but I just didn't. I didn't answer them because they're not my normal doctor. It was Judy. Let's jump in to the show.

Is it.

Puck?

Is it just me?

Or I stay in a line? Tell your what have to merge on this highway one? I? Is it just me? Or am I the only person who has zero idea what a simple noun, verb, adjective, et cetera. Is just completely confused by it? That's me. That's the podcast for this week.

That yeah, it comes back again kids for God's sake.

So definitely a character there.

Yeah.

I was gonna say, that's not how That's not what we agreed to. You weren't meant to be taking on a character. You just fabricated all these children and all this traffic.

No, I was being Jay Brew. I was being here.

Oh right, ye see, I.

Didn't realize that's what we were doing. I was just being myself, but taking on a bit of inspiration of his style.

Now I took on completely his way of life. That's my age. Though I don't I did any podcast. I pictured them in the background of Mountain Nourrige probably chained up. I think I don't understand basic nouns or adjectives. If someone were to say to me, oh, just give me an adjective quickly, I wouldn't know. I wouldn't know what to do.

And then you throw in pronouns and adverbs and it's a whole shit show.

Get pronouns because it's twenty nineteen, right of course. Yeah, yeah, but nouns and verbs? Do you understand them?

Yeah? I happened to top English in my new level of schooling is topped?

Okay, well I was. I was interested, So you definitely think you know them, yes, Because what I've done is I've gone to kindihub dot com.

You've gone to Daddy's.

I've had to fake an account and pretend that I'm a child educator, and I have got a simple year one level grammar noun and verb test. Now it's very simple.

I'll pass. No, no, no, no no.

I'm going to give one to you and one to me. We're both gonna fill it out now. Okay, Jena will need you to market, so she bring genera in.

Yeah, Jna, come on quickly, coming quite her surprise though.

It's on the deck, all right, So we can really use nouns and verbs to complete this ends.

It's below. You'll use each word only once.

The words are bake, eats, cake, made pie, and cream.

I like whipped blank on my pumpkin pie. Your voul just a joke everywhere, and now cream is a person place off thing. Don't give me the answer.

All right, I'm crossing them off as I go because I thought I'll.

Get we need a noun. They're sure.

My sister blank dessert faster than I do.

And it's they're looking for a verb, so it's something that she does are doing with?

Oh, so a verb is a doing word? Yes, right, like bludgeony. This is actually quite easy.

My mum's favorite is pumpkin, and then announced.

Okay, don't you don't answer it because we want to get marked. Although in year twelve, Oh, I would pay people to give you the answers I cheated in the HSC. Can I say that he's not having What do you mean you get test restrictions? What do you mean you're you cheated in the h I wrote the answers in the dates that Adolf Hitler did what he did, and I need to say it on the inside of my rubber.

Oh that's not that bad, but still the dates were there. I thought that they'd.

Take the rubber, the outside cardboard thing on an eraser off you in the HC.

That's what they did at my.

School in my time.

God, you couldn't have you is school captain? I bet those were your perset. You're like, uh, head mistress, we really should abolished this one rule. I feel strongly about it.

Yeah, I got to do it in the in the common room on my own.

I've made an error, but I've correct leave it.

No, I've corrected it.

I'm allowed to. I'm allowed to correct my error before i've handed in the test. Dickhead, I'm done.

They've been handed into producer Jenna.

How do we know that she's any good at grammar or whatever?

She has always in a ponytail. She knows, you know what I mean? What's happened to Jenna?

One of you is failed?

How is it mean? Do you read failed?

One of you.

Used the same word twice, even though it explicitly said you'll use each word only once.

Of course, Oh no, one of you wrote cake again, and you've done it in for and two thirds.

Don't assume it was me who was a Jenna.

It was you.

I didn't even mean.

To do that.

That wasn't even a test of your grammar or whatever.

Your ability to identify nouns and adjectives that just you can't count like.

Math. Both mitches are very needy, so make sure you leave a review on your podcast.

Can't think of anything nice to say, just hit five stars and let them know what's currently on your left.

Right, Jenna, good thing you're in here, because it's time to be a surprise.

It is.

And when we said surprise, you assumed that it would be a good surprise here.

You were quite excited. But I'm sorry to say, I don't think you're going to enjoy what we've done.

Yeah, I think should we roll the roll the music?

So I didn't know we had music.

I've organized this, Jenna. Please welcome your new life. Bring any bells.

No, you haven't to go while. No, I'm not going on big brother.

No, she'll get the papers.

Please go now, Jenna, Calm down.

Now, Jenna, I know that you're quite shy and you don't like to be the center of attention and you don't like to be made vulnerable.

But I just thought career wise this could be great for you. Okay, so we've done We've done an application.

She's absolutely living.

Just think Chrissy Swan, Sarah, Marie, Fitzie, the Bumpshake.

Girl, Ben Norris, all these great names have come. So there's a lot of questions. I went in and answered them for you, met Would you like to read them out?

Yeah, applications of open Jenna and you're in. It's been submitted. So I'll read the questions, Mitch, you'll read the answers we've done for you. Are you okay?

No?

Okay, thank you for answering. Let's start. If you could invite three people?

That was the worst sound effect I've ever heard. What the hell was that?

That was the ad break music?

Yeah, but it just cuts off and it's the scabbiest quality ever.

Who will Australia choose Rima or Ben after that?

Terrible? Anyway?

All right here we gory Okay, join you that before every question?

Or no, no, I never want to hear it again.

You could invite three people dead or alive to dinner? Who would they be? And wife?

Now, because I know you, I've written three Larsen my favorite actress. I may or may not pursue her romantically. Harold Holt, I'd ask him for tips on how to vanish Forever True and the lead Zebra out of Racing Stripes.

I'd like to pat him that.

Was a good movie.

If you could only choose one song to play every time you walked into a room for the rest of your life, what would it be?

And why I've written the ketch up song because Spanglish is a beautiful language.

Next question, tell us something that is true.

It Almost nobody agrees with you.

On breastfeeding shouldn't be alive in public?

Damn it no, Jenna, that's a disgusting thing, is discussing. We have a lot of women with breasts that listen to this show, and that is awful.

And they love to feed in public as it so happened.

How would you convince someone to do something they didn't want to do?

Threats?

I can't argue with that.

That's how you tend to operate.

What is your least favorite thing about humanity, Jenna.

People that speak to me is that I've written.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who would play you?

And why Bridy Carter and the Clouds Daughters, Because she's good with horses.

Am all right, You're not wrong.

She's a great actress.

Address what do you do for fun?

Hold my breath as long as I can.

See.

I'm trying to position you as being a little bit dry and sarcastic, but also a little bit of a psychopath.

Thus far, they're going to say, we need to get a police check on this girl before we bring her into the house. What is your best in words physical feature?

My enormous nails. My goal is to be able to wind them up in a hose reel.

They're not long, Jenna, They're about an inch. What are habits about? Others?

Irritate you fire men who put out fires? It ruins all my fun.

Fun fact? You know that meme with a little baby girl looking back smiling at the camera with the house burning behind it. That's Jenny. That was me Jenna's family home. Do you have any enemies?

Who?

And why?

This woman who works at Aldi he scans the grocery is too quick. It's not good for my blood pressure level, Jenna.

I find it they scan too slow.

Yeah. Oh look, she's so relatable. I'd vote to save Jenna.

But they scan so quickly. It's like they're pegging these items at my face.

It's quite therapeutic because you don't have to do anything everything. I live at home. Are you thinking of I've only buy one block of chocolate. That's the only time an outing that's got great European chocolate. Okay. Describe an event that changed your life.

When mel Rafter died unpacked to the rafters. I know you're not over that, Jenny. We talk about it all the time.

I'm not over it.

What do you do when someone ignores you?

Put a curse on them? I received this application and I was part of the casting. I'd go geez off the shame.

She'd be good though, for like a week three elimination stare everyone. Yeah, I mean shit.

You put her in there for the fact that she's different to the others, right, yeah, oh.

Yeah, you'd really stand out. They might be afraid that she'd pick one of the locks with a nail. Have you ever been owed money? What did you do about it?

Bought a loaf of bread and let it go moldy, then put it in their mailbox, sliced by slice over the space of a few weeks.

It's creative.

That's something you do.

What sort of people. Don't you like in the house fats Okay, no, no you did not.

I did.

Couple. If you're going to go into the house, you're going to shame fat people. You're going to shame women with breasts.

I'm not going I put all the details in your name, No, but I put all the con take details in mind.

If I get the callback, I'll let you know.

Yeah.

Also says in the meantime, please take time to share your registration on Facebook, Twitter. Simply send it to friends so they can register as well. We're not going on with you.

You're on your own, bitch.

As Helen Keller once said, this podcast is fucking dope you're listening to Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of minches?

You know what'd to watch? You're on that show? I really would that on Antiques roadshow should just be start, you know what I mean? I thound this broch. I actually think that'll be great promo for the show when you get on positive thinking. No, please, no, I'm turning you. See you Jenna speaking of promo for the show. Yeah, just wailing in the background. Jen, It's fine, Jenna, I'm speaking of promo for the show. It's time for the

I made a dick. But you got to hustle. You just got to.

I mean, look, look, I am into this segment to a certain degree. But I had poor little Darmi him on the show a couple of weeks ago. I walked into the interview here in the studio and I had a piece of paper and I had a list of things to say I podcast, and.

The aim of that was to promote the show in unorthodox ways. Yeah, but now you're putting it back on me.

Well, well look easy. Unconventional ways. Radio love a billboard, they love a social park. We can't do any of that. So we've got to be created exactly. And I've been working with producer Jenna. We've been working hard. I've been up all night.

We want to make it a difference.

Jenna. This isn't bloody green Peace sounds like Greta Thumberg. Jenna and I have been working hard, and what we have is we have a number and we're going to dial the number. Right as the numbers ringing, I'm going to pass you a document.

I was really worried you're going to make me do a prank call?

Is that what this is? I've got a piece of paper in hand. I'm going to dial the number, and as it's ringing, I'm going to hand you the piece of paper and you will know who you're ringing.

Always like, thank god you're here to make it up essentially, Yeah, exactly right.

Everything I hate in one segment, Well that's where Ed.

Cavali got his start. So you could have a cancel today for MS show one day too.

Look, I know that it's a running joke that oh Mitchell makes everyone else do prank calls or he doesn't like doing it himself.

Look, it's not going to be that bad, is it?

Because I have an actual social anxiety disorder here, and I'm really really.

I just all you need to do is get in the name of the podcast where they can listen kind of what it's about, but seamlessly you don't. We don't just want you calling this poor person and spilling it out. It's going to be seamlessly integrated. So I'm going to dial it up.

Yeah, number This could be good for me an away. My therapist has been trying to make me do exposure therapy for a long time.

What's expose yourself?

No.

Exposure therapy is where you literally, on purpose, go out of your way to do things that make you anxious, so that over time you get you build up a resistance so you're not anxious anymore.

You can give me the piece of paper. No, no, no, hang up, hang up, hang up, exerusly, hang up, hang up? What I'm not kidding? Hang up? I hung up.

But why you had to do it?

That is that is so fucked up? What you were just going to make me do?

What?

It's fine? Are you across this, Jenna?

I am.

That wasn't my first choice.

It was you chose this. No, I did not.

I can't believe you let this happen.

This is what I've handed me was a piece of paper. It's a screen short of a gum tree listing with the title missing Budgy.

Someone's lost their budgy.

Yeah, and I just want you to call and go, hey, there's a picture of a bird here and they've lost their budgy. Read the description missing Australian Budgie sugar cane stay for the tenth of September.

Oh god, it's it's mid October. That's no good. No, as the owner was in hospital on.

That's on you. You guys are fucked up. I know all you needed to do was call and go.

Hi.

I was at a park. I saw a couple of birds. I was listening to this podcast.

In that moment. The hopes have just raised. They clearly care. I know that it means nothing to you, but they clearly care enough about this lost bird. I'm getting really upsets. They care enough about this lost bird to put up a gum tree ad with a feral photo of them.

Yeah.

But if I'm going to get their hopes up and make them think that I could have found it and it's all just a job, that is so wrong.

You know she could have already found it.

Yeah, I actually think I heard it. I actually think I did so.

I heard that too.

Yeah, I'll ring it back.

This is no, don't you dare. I'm serious. No, we can't do this segment. Look into that budgy's eyes.

I should have printed the other ones out.

The other ones are great. There was a six foot men.

Well, you can get back to me next week with those because I'm not doing that.

Okay, Well, would just end the segment.

Just I mean, I'm not doing it, so yeah, thanks for listening anyway.

Guys, Jenna, do we even have anything last minute? We can add it in to Phil.

Yeah, Jenna, Yeah, Jenny, this is your fault.

No, we don't.

Like guess just wrapping it's fine.

Yeah, we can just end it.

Actually, no, here's something we can do here. Remember at the in the opener you mentioned to me about these new airport things of mine.

Yeah, you bought them.

You mentioned what was the hack that you said you could do, and I said, oh, you can tell me about.

That spy kids thing.

Yeah.

Oh yeah, good, we'll you'll do that.

Yeah, let's do that. That's fine, that's more right up my alley, Jenna, how dare you? I am with you? Actually?

Now, how can you don't ride in my coach cake speak? You're the one who picked you know you've got a problem when I'm the one that has the biggest heart on this show.

You guys are fucking well beautiful people.

Look, okay, what we can do is I reckon everyone listening, right, now just pretend that that mess never happened. It feels weird just launching into a new segment now like nothing happened. But here the sound effecting, and we'll just carry on like nothing happened.

Okay, okay. We normally end on with like Gregorious laughters on three.

We can do some fake laughter and then go into the segment.

All right, one, two, three.

Just me a podcast by a couple of mines.

All right, mit.

You mentioned earlier in the show that you've got an airpod's hack that's going.

To help me catch people out who were bitching about me.

Circus by kids two thousands, early two thousands. It is a hack that I once used to be able to do. Remember the magazines that came through in primary school. Did you ever get them? I don't know if you've got them in the country. I don't know if you've got mail. But there were magazines and they had all this text stuff or girly stuff on my little pony, and you ticked the box of what you wanted and they'd send

Well, I feel like I'm a bit suck in the two thousands because, as I mentioned, I've only got I only got these AirPods today, and I don't really I barely knew how.

To use them.

I didn't know that there was anything you could do with them. So anything you can teach me, i'd appreciate.

How can we put it to the test.

Well, show me how to do it?

Okay, pass your phone.

Okay, but that's not showing me how to do it. That's it's doing it.

I felt, come over right, it happens around this site.

Okay, so go to there we go.

What's Grinder? Just an app I saw.

Go to?

So just give me a search search.

Because we're going into settings and we're pressing search, you're typing in control center correct, and then it comes to customized controls.

I'm assuming the airports are connected.

Yes, they're connected, and you go down there's a whole list of things you can add. You could add add a QR code reader or a magnify it.

We don't need all that is tap add on hearing, so you hit here hearing. There's a little blue ear.

I think it's designed for the audio impaired hearing impaired, but we're using it for right.

Okay, So we've gone into settings of added hearing to the control center. Then you already grind has got a mass like it's like a little bat leave my greener. Then you swipe down from the top and all of a sudden there's a little hidden ear. So I'll go back to my desk now now that you know, and put your ear pods in your ears. Make sure they're connection.

I can't promise anything. I don't know what I'm doing here.

Man, take them out of the pill.

Ca but I'm going to lose these one like very soon, sooner than later. They're so small it just made that noise in me.

Connect connected.

Okay, we're here all right.

Now what you need to do is swipe down from the top. You've got the ear open, tap the ear and hit enable sound.

There is no enable sound.

Shut it, turn around.

It says Mitchell's AirPods. Listen live off and hit listen live on. Right, okay, get your terminology from Okay, so now you.

Hear every it's going to be quite confusing for you. It's like inception.

Yeah, there's a slight delay. Hold on, I'm going to.

Nobody likes you. That's you're in the thoughts. That's not the ports talking to the phone. Can you hear it's working?

Yeah, because this is so there's a microphone on my phone.

Correct playing it into your AirPods. In that micro I'll turn every other microphone off.

So in theory, I would leave my phone in the room and I'm going to the bathroom, and.

Then I'd be able to eat drop and then.

I would know that if people are left behind about me, so.

I would be I would even be like, yeah, it's also handy if you ever do you know, mock roleplay with an airplane situation. You can pretend that you're a flight hostesses going back to the normals. So, I mean, let's lot, don't we just test it right as well? Test it live in the field. You've got the winned to be in here.

Yeah, well we may as well use Jenner. Okay, So.

The wim bring starts. So we're in an office, we're in the studio here. There's a couple of people here at this time.

Why don't here my phone, Jenna.

Sorry, I'm speaking really slowly because the I've got my own voice echoing my head and it's very confused.

Thing.

I think you should go into a little Chris he does audio for my night show.

I don't know him.

That's even better.

It's made our open up very talent, and we've got lots of compliments about it.

We got pretty pat and I think calm. Chris is a nice as quite calm, which is good because you can go in there you natural.

Reason and you have to bitch about it so that this is true to li.

You just walk in and be like, sorry, I needed a moment talking to their phone. We'll see if it works. Can you hear a mitch?

Yeah?

Great, all right, go in, go I don't know Jenna.

Just go in.

Pods up to the microphone. Give it a test, Jenny, into the bottom. Hi, there we go.

Oh she's coming back, Jenna.

Emma, she's coming test Jenna so away she can't hear.

Jenna can't hear?

Oh, for God's sake, maybe we shouldn't.

How am I going to know whether it works or not? Go in and just going in?

Can you hear it?

Hi? I just needed a moment away from them. Oh, they're just so annoying. I can't stand since five point thirty.

Yeah, ye, he's talking about you.

He's annoying.

To get back to them, keep digging, Chris called, You're always annoying.

Everything.

All right, turn this in here we go back back for clarity. Can I take these out now?

Yeah?

Well, firstly that worked, Yeah, well done me.

I overheard everything he said. I overheard everything Chris said. And it's pretty easy to hide a phone in a room so they won't notice.

I don't think that it's locked on the on the coffee table.

Did you not have that right next to your mouth?

I did counts time people with it. But there's one thing I need to know. Because you were in that room, you would have heard him clear. Did he say that I'm annoying all the time or annoyed all the time?

You heard it?

Getting get him?

Go get it, bring him in, bring it a little bastard. Bring him around to that side, because there's no microphone there to reveal it to him. Jenna, you were going to make me call someone with a missing pet. I.

Oh, you blame Jenna.

It was Jenna's idea.

Penna doesn't have ideas.

Thank you please, goodness me. I didn't want to do that budgeting, by the way, you did.

So this is very stuck ahead in you bring.

Him around to you'll share a mic with Jenna.

Hi, Chris, now get your ass in here, Christopher.

Talk on Jackie's mike.

Firstly, you'd be glad to know, Chris, we've gotten a lot of compliments on our opener. Someone asks us to send just the opener to them so they could listen to it in their spare time.

I've got to talk into the microphone, Christopher.

Secondly, when we sent Jenna in there, just then, we were testing out this pack that Mitch knows that I'm only just learning with these new EarPods that you can connect the EarPods to your iPhone and then eavesdrop on other people.

So Jenna was in there with my phone. You say that I was annoyed or annoyed the other day, I need to know you were annoyed the other day. Oh okay, that makes a lot more Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just wondering if you annoyed the other when was I annoyed? Because I'm perpetually annoyed.

It's fine, did you give off a sort of you know, a of annoyed, very annoyed. Yeah, not a bad thing. Pretty bad studio the other day.

Finish, I probably just needed to piss.

You won't be the same determination no matter where you're going. When he walks down the aisle, even I'll be oh my god, he's left him. But no, no, he's very happy.

We'll either go. Just wanted to confirm that I'm not annoying.

Thank you. Did you think something was up with Jenna?

Well?

All right, well this has been a weird show everyone, Thanks so much for listening.

This is not where I saw the show going. But whatever.

The worst show for me, first Big Brother, then getting me in Jenny.

You like it?

Your career is going to blow up.

Thanks for listening. Everyone. We'll catch you again next week.

We'll do for six. I'll follow us at couple of mitches it right, and also.

Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast exactly what you write a review?

In fact, yeah, please do. And we're up to five star. We did get one three and one four, so they're progressively get.

I don't know.

Chris said to me, are you allowed to swear?

Try it?

You're not allowed to swear Chris, we just got dumb Chris.

Of Grinda anyway, and we'll just been a great day. Let's it out see you guys next.

Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app.

Welcome to a D D bree Here we go.

This is our secret segment that we have after the show's finished, and the goal is that no one will listen. But if you're hear, feel free to hang out. It's a judgment free zone though.

Correct, And I'm just going to hold on it. I know you told me not to. Just turned on live tweets there on another line, straight off the bass. Oh Chris, you've joined Twitter. Congratulations.

Yeah, Like Chris is so confused because he thought the show was finished. Yeah yeah, Now nearly hasn't listened to our podcast. It doesn't know what add brief is.

But we're here and the people can live tweet like they're doing right now. People are tweeting.

This is like an unscripted segment called add Brie. Because neither risk can focus and love it.

We just go on tangents.

Yeah, we just keep going.

As you can see, he goes rogue with the sound effects over there, don't.

I don't.

It's not good content. But whatever. It's adydbrief. It doesn't need to be.

We could try and get Chris it up with someone show. We could try and get him someone.

Oh, he's looking right at Princess Charming Jenner over here.

Just don't talk for the next couple of minutes. We don't need to.

I'm fine.

To each other.

Yeah, he said. He said me not to talk so that you guys can have some alone time.

But then we're not here.

Hi.

Hi, I hate Oh yeah, I hate you guys.

I'd say you're busy, Chris.

It's fine. You go back to me.

Chris.

Thanks Chris, Thanks Chris. I'm sorry that I seemed annoyed, but that's just me.

Yeah, that's his attitude. Someone says more Chris, Oh that was Chris, because you just joined Twitter. They definitely recorded everything's recording, even that song. Well there you got he's not your type.

I'd be pretty upset about that, Jenny.

Instead of like even trying to chat you up, trying to get some skirt, he just goes can I go back to work?

He'd rather be in that soundproof booth alone.

I agree with you.

There, I do agree.

I'll tell you what.

Yeah, tell me what it's just been.

It's been a wild show. It's been a very fun show. I am feeling you know how, I feel really good. I'll tell you why. I Contender radio and I felt it. He was good bye. He's very nice. That opener is great.

First time I met him.

So I'm walking in there was the first time you'd met him?

Yep, real, that's even better.

He's very sweet.

He said that I can go in there anytime I need to vent.

So that's we heard it, Jenna, we were listening.

Yeah, don't forget that.

Everything you played it very good, well done.

I don't trust people to use air pods, and now I have every reason not to trust them as well.

Yeah, it's a sign of wealth.

I already didn't trust them.

It's a sign of wealth. And apparently on Twitter being gay, apparently gay's love them.

Why, I don't know anyway, Sorry, what were you going to say? What you said? It's a great day, this is a great time.

I'm feeling good because I am drinking water, lemon water. And I know now I sound like is it just me the one with that that the girl who does the wellness Is It Just Me? Podcast? Jenny You won't here, but she does a wellness show ord Is It Just Me?

It's very deep, actually a very different angle to what we have.

Yeah, this is one of her tips. Actually still have it. I think this is one of her tips from the previous weeks. And it's been destroyed.

What do you mean it's been destroyed? Who story.

Talk to yourself? I know it sounds bananas whatever, Who cares if it does? I know, but it's one incredibly effective way to figure out exactly what's going on on the inside of you. So I'm gonna take a leaf out of her book give her a five star rating, please. And I'm drinking lemon water partly because my partner's mum claims that I have made my partner put on a whole bunch of weight because I'm a bigger person. So well, I mean, what's the nickname you've given me, Madam fat?

I love the backtracking then, because I just realized that he could listen to it. He has. No, he hasn't, Babe, you look fine.

He actually hasn't. But that's what the current talk of the house is.

What about you? Have you retained, have you gained?

Or just been.

Yo?

Yo, I'm like aj Rochester. You know what I mean. I'm good, I'm madam, but I'm bad that I'm dead.

She fluctuates.

There's no drones in my backyard.

No, but she's always said that she fluctuates, and I like her for that reason.

I suctuate all the time.

But no, I see where you're coming from. I'm not. I'm not in a relationship per se, but like like I'm seeing someone at the moment. And it's so easy just to be like, oh, let's just get menu log whatever all the time.

And I finished work at midnight, I get home by twelve thirty, and I'm dinner at eight o'clock. Some like starving by that time, Like one, I am, I should be going to sleep. My body's like, hold on, you should have another meal. So I eat stuff and eat shit. So that's why I've gained weight. The only reason that I don't think I've got a thyroid.

So what do you two do together?

What do you mean? I mean?

I meant eating? Oh also that could be what's why?

Let's be red?

What do you guys?

There's no way I can say this without it sounding dirty, So I'm just gonna get the dirty thing out of the.

Way, apart from fucking what do you do when you're hanging out the head of Twitter?

He says, please don't sweet on the podcast?

What do we do?

We eat?

We watch a lot of netliks and TV, a lot of Uber eats, a lot of snacks. Who a lot of snacks is a little thing. Let's get snacks and we get a lot of snacks.

That's not just your thing. Everyone snacks, idiot, Let's do a quick.

Snappole who snacks? Results are in eighty percent of people. You're right, Mitch, no one.

The show's not lying.

My snack's done in the microwave? Was a pops another one to there's two microwaves right next to each other.

It's impossible to have a conversation with him.

Wrong, but feel free to call it anytime. On thirteen nine six six four hater two one one four three sick.

Just Hayden think he's put on weight? How does he feel like?

He complains all the time, It's like none of my clothes fit. I'm like, that's weird. The must have shrunk.

Okay, are you gonna take ownership of this?

It's completely my fault. I mean I own it because I'm a big eater and I I'm one of those people that and I've always said this, once you're fat, people don't notice. They're just like, you're always fat, you know what I mean. But if you're skinny and you put on weight, it's like they've gained weight. But I'm always constantly in the ballpark of God is big, you know what I mean, So no one notices it on me.

It's true. I wasn't exactly small as a teenager.

I was tabby as hey, and it's like, once you're not in the chubby category anymore, you're suddenly like in a different Yeah.

Well that's how I thought about it.

Which I now realize is a little bit toxic and whatever, because I like having a little.

Bit of squitch me too. I don't want anyone like I I'm.

One of those people that, like you look at them with clothes on it, it's like, oh, yeah, you're probably a little bit like you look lean, yes, but if.

You actually physically grabbed my fat, it's like, oh my god.

You're still swishy, even though you're small, You're still like really, you know, you know what I mean.

So I'm just but I like that in other people.

You said to me in the past, you like dad bods? Yeah, dude, Jenna, did you like dad bods or just bods that look like adult bods?

Mind?

Yeah, I just look at people like, you know, Zach Evron and go boring.

Same. Yeah, you know, you know how I love Jennifer Aniston. Beautiful? Okay, cool, that's her tweeting me. Now, should I joined Instagram? We get it?

Yeah, God, she joined Instagram. But did you see that everyone is saying her first ever photo? It looks like her and the cast of friends are snorting up.

Yeah, but it was just a reflection.

No, it's her phone case.

I did a bit of a phone case that looks like they've got lines of cocaine.

It's too hot.

Literally.

There's this photo on Jennifer Anderson's Instagram because she wasn't on Instagram until like last week. She joined Broke Records to be in like the She got to like five million followers in the first day or something, and the first photo she posted was her hanging out with the other cast members of Friends, and on her phone case is like these little white lines. They look like powder, and we're like, oh, they're gonna snort up after this selfie.

And also very close to not Matt a blank, who is the other one you're telling the story, the one who's got the drug addiction, Perry, Matt Perry, very close to his nose.

It is.

Look at the gether photo right now, he's leaning in and it is so close to his nose, and I'm like, that's unfortunate because he's the one with the allegations.

And so she claiming that it's a phone case.

No comment has been made.

But where did you get that ship from? Jenner?

I'll get the receipt, please do.

God, we're going to have him by next episode.

The spy sir hoping by the end of this line. I'm not that interested. I'm not going to wait a week.

The Spice Girls did this too. Remember when they announced their reunion there was a photo in the background with Actually I think it looked a lot more like cocaine. You get that one up too. Here we go.

I found it.

Oh, I see his nose is too hot.

Love is love.

It's a great Kindly Midoaks song. Too hard.

Oh, look at our god bless That's what I love. I love Jen. She's just so down to earth and very funny. You know what I mean?

Yeah? Have you met?

No?

No, I happened, definitely, haven't. Just a reminder final lines I open one eight hundred and six six nine four four three two nine six four six.

Eight eight two Does it change every time.

Every day because we don't pay for it.

It's like your thing where you can make up suburb nanes on the spot that sound convincing.

You can make up hotlines.

Coonel blander Bush, let me google that. There's the area code for kuone blander Bush. Hold on, we're calling it to Coonel blander Bush. We're live in Kune blander Bush. Let's see whats happening. Maybe a local fair or a council or a children's show.

You're confused. The fair is happening in the neighboring town.

Of Brenda Barrel Dade, and I remember we have five seconds, and this is one of my favorite country towns.

Commercial music.

You five seconds?

No, I don't even want to risk it.

Can be that snap game. Well, I play five seconds, You've got to justify it.

No one knows what the snap game is because I crop it out every time because I'm not risking it. Really, every I'm not kidding, what is this episode?

Five?

Five?

Every ady d brief we do?

Mitch tries to make us do this game because there's really strict copyright laws around commercial music on podcasts. Apparently you're not allowed to play more than five seconds unless it's in the context of like that's what the show's for, Like you're doing a music update show, like.

Oh, this song's at number one on the charts. Here it is, and you're only allowed to play five seconds.

You're telling me every time I've done this, which is probably three at this point, you've cut it and no one's ever heard it.

No one's ever heard it, because what's it's a shit game. It either you win or you get soon like that, they're not the date it's funny.

So my game is you have to you can only play five seconds of a song. We have to justifiably be playing it. So I play five. I'm just setting the set up. I'm not going to do it, and the person after I Mitchell Jenna, has to justify while we're playing it.

I'm not going to do It's all good and I'm not doing it.

I won't do it. Would you cut it if I did it?

Yes, So don't do it. Don't.

The game's over. Sorry I did Fine, it's out, don't it's out a crossing to twistled and going a live in Twistlan. What's happening? I'm just googled. They've got the annual Halloween festival and that might be it's a local dog killing a child. That's more just killed the dog?

Do you have pets? Min, because you don't have much empathy towards animal.

Little kvoodle named Hamish, named after Hamish and Andy. And when I met Hamish Blake, I told him and he said, well, get a cat and name it Andy.

Because back in episode two or three, one or the other you did this bit where you went rogue on the sound effects again and you killed several animals who were the bogan Gate mayor. That was a that was apparently you decided that my hometown is run by like livestock and you killed cows using the gunsander.

It's very weird.

And then today you try to make me call this missing Budgy, but Budgy's owner. And now you've just shot a dog again. Well, I had a dog moiling a child and then you shot the door.

But they're not real. I'm not mental. It's because I've got this soundboard here with thirty sound effects and I only have that set amount so for the rest of the history.

But you delete all the animals and the guns, and then that won't be.

Your go to Okay, well i'll do this.

Then this is what you want, Jenna?

Do you Are you able to concede now that this was not okay, this Budgy thing, it was never okay. It was a test because he's blaming you.

Oh that's funny.

I'm not blaming you, but I've changed your sound off it no dogs anymore.

No, I want to know about this. Whose idea was the Budgy thing? It was not my.

I have other ones.

Okay, good, we have other ones that we haven't prepped. That's why we could.

Oh, are you're changing into we now.

The budgy one? It wasn't. I actually didn't go out of my way to choose the budgy one. I went onto gum Tree and that came up, so I thought we'll do that. I just put out a whole bunch and that was the first one. So I'm so sorry.

I really hope she finds that budgy.

I mean too genuinely. So I've got rid of the dog's out effect? Haveve replaced it? You don't want me to replace? Well, that's what you want to know.

Is it bad that when I think about which one makes me sad? Are killing a dog or killing it?

Oh?

God?

The answer themes?

That's all that. That goes for a minute and three seconds. Let's play it and skip to thirty and see what's happening.

God, who needs that much?

Baby cry happy? Now it's awful. It's very excited to be to episode five. Why is that just because I'm surprised you made it and I think we have a massive fan base now.

No, we've done pretty well.

I gotta say, was that was it your grenda?

No, it's not my That sounds like I actually had a This is a reminder to go and pick up my my pants that are being altered, being hemmed the shoppings and across the road.

Is that at the bottom when they take the bottom up.

Yeah, I haven't had to do that since I was like in year eight. Really yeah, I don't know why these pants were just fucking long.

No, I had to do it.

I was.

I was thirty eight waists by ye six, so the legs were really long on all of them because they assume you're a forty five year old man, but you're actually a child with a big waist and short was Oh, I think I was a thirty. I was a thirty six in my year six form. I remember it vividly six and the six.

I was thirty six at one point.

I'm a thirty eight now I was. Sometimes I'm a forty. You don't have to go to Johnny big Ones. And now they always call me and they're like, welcome to Johnny big Man, Mitch, how I am good. It's it's like three XL to ten excel.

Oh okay, it's.

Got a new model as well, which got the PR release from them.

How convenient is it actually Yes?

Who is it?

Jason Owen, former X Factor star, palsmach near Double that's where he's from.

Yes, what I mean one of my owl this country boy, I don't know everyone in the country. He's Johnny Big, large size clothing.

Yeah, give them a plug.

I'm not giving it a plug. I just want to look into this. These models aren't even that fat.

Don't say the F word.

What I didn't say fag?

What? Hold on?

Rewind this? I didn't say that.

Its very breathing. So it sounded like you, like you said, why would I call them?

That's ridiculous. Oh that's Johnny Big official.

So anyway, you go to Johnny Big.

Johnny Big and I go there once and one of them goes, I recognize your voice, and here we go kiss fans No?

Is it just me? Fans?

Just no?

They heard me on kiss You're the cash cock. And then we were talking, talking, talking, and she's like, we could put you up as an ambassador as genuine and I was like, oh, I don't think. I don't exactly think that's my brand. And then she's like, we'll send you.

You're literally in the store, and then saying to their face this place is not on brand for me, but I shop.

At McDonald's a lot. I don't exactly want to be the face of it.

Why not?

They would have so much cash, They would have a lot of cash because there's a lot of people. I said fat with the tea there, and I just didn't want to do it. I want it to be aligned with who I am. Anyway, I've been back or maybe one.

Sorry, I don't want to get bogged down on this, but I don't understand how it's not aligned with who you are. It's a shop for people that need large clothing, but.

I don't want to be synonymous with that, you know what I mean.

We're talking about it now, Jenna.

Can you crop this audio and send it to what is it called again, Johnny Big, and they'll send us some free ship.

Of course I'll send it as well.

Oh.

I love those. I would happily be the face of those.

It's good you know that my mindy grub shorts were from Lows. They were like kids school shorts, really yeah, because yeah, they.

Were meant to be really small and tight, and nothing in the men's section anywhere was any good. They're all denim and cargo and stay and foul.

What did you wear? I can't remember.

Really short type black shorts and I can't I can't make it even shorter. And there was that frayed look and yeah, they're actually school kids short from bloody Low.

I also had to cut my monogra outfit too, because I was there for work, because I was dressed as a sequined chicken and the suit, no jobs, suit weighed eighteen kilos, No lie, and what.

They had to For anyone who doesn't know what the cash Coock is, it's the Kiss FM mascot essentially, and Mitch that's how he got his start.

He's now on air at Kiss, but he's still the mascot.

I'm still the cash shed that no well, I was on air. I started four years ago as cash Cock and four years to date it has passed. I did Cashcock last week. It doesn't end anyway. It was the Cashcock suit, a rooster outfit and it goes down to my ankles and to my wrists. So they sequent everything and it was eighteen kilos and I get there. I remember that.

And they weren't small sequence, they were like c D they were.

They were like LP vinyls. Yeah, and they were thick and they were reflective, like the who's that fish? The one the rainbow fish? They had the scale and film like it's friends, it's the.

Rainblow fish, Who's the rainbow fish?

Who's Obama?

Who's that Shrek.

Rainbow fish?

Answers in the question.

Anyway, there were massive scales and I get there and I got I can't do this because it was like really hot to anyone's breathing on each other, and you know, God knows what they've all got. And I had to cut the arms off and the legs off, so it was like a one piece swimsuit made.

Up again with the animal cruelty and legs don't.

Connect it there. I think we should end this lovely not I would never do that. It's been a pleasure. It's been fun. Next week, I don't really know what we've got on. We'll talk of it.

Yeah, good idea.

We are? Is it just me a secret?

Sound?

What's this?

One more time? One more time?

Can we get that one more time?

We sure can wrong one back next week?

All right?

That wraps up another eighty d reef where we just go a whole That was I would say that was the weirdest that one.

Should we cut it?

Nah? I don't know.

Apart from when you breach copyright laws, I don't edit, you actually cut them. I have done every time.

People are gonna love in a year's time when they go, we've never heard this segment, and they're gonna want to run it. They're gonna want to hear it. They're gonna want to hear it. What I should say?

No, they're not.

Just mounbow today and she really wanted to hear it.

Yeah, but it's breaching laws. No one watches the news and sees a murder and goes, I want to do that. There's nothing tempting about that segment.

That's not what It's too risky.

That's not what I said. Don't forget to leave a review five stars. If you're feeling lucky, you.

Should write one as well. Actually, because you can put the five stars without commenting, but we like to read them.

If you've gotten this fart, why don't you leave us a review and gribe turn up? Let's tee you what mocking me? Why don't you write a review and write what you think I should replace the crying sound effect with the next week we'll have it, I'll have it. That's on me enough to prepare that, I'll do it. So if you want it to be a frog ribboning, that's another animal. Shit, open it up a bottle or fire crackling or a horn going off. Write a review. I will read them and I will have it, and

Ah, please die the sound effects in this segment of The Bane of My.

Life really, because I'm pretty sure they're keeping us a float. And that's actually our lawyer. She says, guys, you've made Oh, you've made nothing. It's a zero.

Thanks for tweeting.

She actually said, you're at a loss. Oh I don't think you could quit off a Twitter. But she's just done. So she's just done. That's another one. That's my lean cuisine. Sorry, oh is that funny? Oh shit, I'd be a great Johnny Big ambassador. Wuldn't next week?

Thank you for thank you for listening once again. Guys, We'll catch you soon. Bye bye?

Is it just me? Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app