#33: On The Blower

People do some weird ship it should in young people, inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as names to get high.

Some things more since than others.

I've done everything for you got my career on hold.

I could have been anything if I'd had the talent. Bless yourself for observations.

You didn't ask for leadership.

I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

Well good, just.

A couple of Mitch. One of us be Mitch and the other b Mitchell. Just to make things easier.

Your Mitch, I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh no, he is Mitch. Julie and Mitchell Koo.

We're here here, we are back again.

Out big week. I have actually I'll say that all right, Well, this week on the show, it's not just you, it's not just me. Jenna hasn't piped up and said why I'm I the opener. It's nice that you're going it down different about this week?

Why are where are you hitting with this?

I'm saying that it's not just the three of us. We're having some fans on the show. We're doing another round. If is it just you.

Oh yeah, we haven't done this for a while, have we.

Last time we did it was about traffic, wasn't.

It something like that? But yeah, we like to get our listeners on, give them the opportunity to vent about what's on their mind.

Yeah, because surprise, surprise, we're not the only people that think things, so it's nice take other people on. So I've got three line dumb So.

I don't know anything about these callers. I did notice you were on o Instagram story asking anyone if they wanted to come on.

Yeah, we got it.

We usually only to do one at a time. Have you got three? Because it's too polite to say no.

I had so many. I think I had about sixteen at one point. Oh god, I said. My tactic was, it's like when you're selling something on the Facebook marketplace. You say yes to someone, and then when someone has a better offer, you'd say yes to them, and then someone else will message me. So I've committed to so many people, all.

Right, So we've got some calls to get through later.

Well, you've got three of them coming up from fans, and then you've got mind and mitches. That is it? Just me? Something we've noticed something we hate or appreciate from the week, or something that comes into our head. It's the benchmark of the show. It's how we start. Mine is about, you know, I just want to shed light on how well I did in high school. That's all I'm going to say.

Great, it's the school captain. I can't wait to hear all about.

The primary school and high schoolandslide victory?

Really both really and it was a landslide victory both, yeah.

Both of them.

Yeah.

I really just represented everyone there was all in the speech. I was a horrendous leader. I mean, who went first last week? I always lose track.

I think you did. There's no pattern to it, but whatever, I'm ready if you are, Bradley, get on Mike there there he is.

Is it just me?

Could you not care less what people think of your feet?

No? I'm very self conscious about my feet.

What for their feet?

I don't know have because they just put them on full display. I can Billy wear slides yep, really yeah, I have severe and grown toenails.

Actually what just constantly past hands?

I had reoccurring IGT so I had to go to a pediatrist or a pediatrician. What's the one that does kids.

That's a pedios Okay.

So I went to a podiatrist and he there was so bad that he had to soar off twenty percent of my nail. So I don't have nail cornices. My big toes are just like a plank of wood.

What still, Well, anyway, you might be an exception to the rule you keep your feet to yourself. What I was going to say is that I don't really care what people's feet look like, because their feet they're not exactly meant to be pretty. It's came about after you guys would have seen that the Delta Gudtram incident on the Voice last week?

Oh did I see it? Like a fucking smell it through the TV?

How unflattering is this saily male headline? Ready the Voice coach Delta Goodam Lee's view is disgusted, and she flaunts her filthy feet during the blind audition. So she's kicked back on the red chair, popped her feet up, and clearly she's been walking around barefoot in the studio, which aren't exactly glamorous behind the scenes. They're like the warehouses, and she's pop them up and they don't look especially grubby.

Yeah, they're a bit brown around the heel and the sort of pat.

Yeah, granted she is on television.

Is very close to Kelly Roller next Destiny's Child. I mean, scrub your fucking nibs.

You think they film for hours at a time. They voice like, there's a reason that those coaches have been wearing the same outfits for weeks, because they filled them all in one go. She would have been on those damn feet for hours.

Also, they'd be she would be mortified. I think looking back.

And watching dirty feet gross me out.

Oh you're not a dirty feet person.

I don't care if your feet are deformed, right, I don't care. As long as they're clean, that's fine.

I put that on a T shirt. Jenny. You look at you. You're a vision for hope. I don't care if your toes are curl.

You're so open minded as a person with cat nails.

You know, I'm actually very true. You're the spokesperson for all nail deformities. I guess.

So, Look, it's not that I'm saying that I don't think dirty feet are gross. I'm just seeing that it's not out of the ordinary for them to get gross, Like if you've been on them all day, it's normal to look a bit gross. I'm just saying it's not something worth getting self conscious about. Someone in my life who in fact is quite proud of their feet is my housemate Jordan. So I walked in the lounge room the other day and he was taking photos of them.

No, oh, Jordan, who's he selling them to?

Well, I figured that you'd have questions, so I'm going to get him on the phone now, give me the It's fascinating. I had no idea this is going on until I walked in and witnessed it.

I wonder how much the going rad is for one foot? Did you pay per toe to?

Well?

You can ask to God. You really can't, Multitas. Can you stop dialing his number to talk? And I'm like, we should have had him on.

Ages ago dial house mate. Yeah, very sexually active man. He is always rooting. Really, I get that impression.

You can't just get an impress and then tell everyone as though it's the truth. Sorry, Sorry, Jordan, Hi Darling. It's us.

How are you?

Oh?

All right?

Including the other metch and Jenna? Sorry, Hi, Hi, hi.

J how are you. It's a real gang bang here, isn't it. You're used to that kind of thing.

I'm actually driving past the house that I last had a gang bang in right now.

Uh, ultimate ultimo.

Isn't it funny? We all remember the first house we had a gang bang in.

I didn't say first, I said.

It did anyway, why don't you bring it up?

Yeah? We were just talking about when I walked in. And you're taking photos of your feet the other day, because you know, the foot fetishism is a definite thing. In fact, Jenna, would you mind? Can you google foot fetishes? I don't really know much about it, but all I know is that Jordan is starting to make money off it.

Yeah, and Jordan, I just want to know God actually got a lot of questions. Let's just start, What the hell who do you sell these feet pigs to?

It's not like this. One guy approached me on Twitter once about it, and I was a little bit skeptic on it, but he seemed legit. He's into a thing called findom what wait, what is it? Fin which is financial domination. Oh okay, So it's like, well, whenever he gets drunk and he lives, he lives in the UK, So it's perfect because I woke up. I woke up and he was he was high or drunk or whatever.

He was right.

I woke up and it was eight hours before, nine hours before, so it was like, cool, makes some money this morning. Yeah. So whenever he whenever he gets that drunk or whatever, he hits me up and he's like, hey, well I'm drunk, and the intent is actually, well, no, no, he doesn't ask. I have to literally dominate him with words and be like, I will send you a picture of my feet as a reward for sending me one hundred and fifty bucks.

Oh number, I didn't know that you were offering.

I thought, it's not that I'm exactly offering, but I know it's his, his king. But it gets even weirder in the sense that he he likes it to be used in a way of blackmail. Oh God, because it's domination and it's a sub it's a submissive thing. Whereas he's a submissive one. He it'll be like he might send me a picture of something of his face or of whatever, and he gets off on me charging him X amount of money to not release these photos to the public.

Jesus Christ, he might send.

Me a picture of his naked body. And there's been a time where I actually said to him, I'm going to send these to your mum if you if you don't send me a hundred buck.

And did he send you the money?

Of course he sent the money.

God, and he gets off.

He gets off on that. But then in terms of the foot picks, it was kind of like a reward for him sending me one hundred and fifty dollars just because.

I asked, wait, so you set the price?

I actually because I know, as I said, he gets off on the domination. I originally said fifty dollars, but when I sent the PayPal request to him, it's and so he had And his thing is he's got no choice because he's dominated, so he paid.

Well. How the hell did you learn to navigate people whose mind work like that? That is so weird that you knew exactly how to play him?

Oh did he did? He have to sort of like set it up like when you go to a real estate and you go to an open house. These are the ground rules everyone go like, did you have to sort of did he have to tell you at the start that this is what he liked?

It's sort of we worked it out slowly, but yeah, Like the only ground rule is that, like, obviously I can't ask for a car or something, right, it's got to be it's gonna be a reasonable amount. He did admit to me how much money.

He earned, which is how a lot of money.

Well, it's in British pounds, but it's like one hundred thousand British pounds a year.

Okay, I don't know what that means for us.

It's about two hundred and thirty thousand I think a year Australian.

Oh okay, so he can afford to be transferring money for paying paying the feet?

Now, how do you take the photos of feet? So do you like have a shower? Like, because obviously Delta Gudraam had the dirty grabby little fucking feed and they're disgusting. He might want more for a dirty foot, right, I.

Asked him this actually, And it's not to do with how clean the foot is or what the foot essentially looks like. It's what the foot represents. Because he is a submissive person Yeah, the foot is like that, you would say realistically, like the dirtiest part of a person, and that's all he believes he deserves, and that's what he again he gets off on.

It's he he walked all over.

Yeah, literally walked all over. And it's also because the dominating person I e. Me and this this, then that's my foot that he is submitting.

To see part of me feels bad for the basket. I'm like, oh, all he thinks he deserves it is a footpick. But also like if he knows what he likes, then he's going about it and it's consensual and he's going about his way to get it. Then whatever, carry on, mate, do what you gotta do.

It's self conscious about your foot pigs, Like do you check on a toe ring every now and again? Shake it up for him? He might want some glam.

I literally took one. I think it was yesterday. I was just I was just sitting on the couch and then he hits me up and then you know, one hundred and fifty dollars and I was just like, yeah, fuck, I took my show off, put myself off, and just bang banged out a photo.

And then you should get one of those vintage like foam stoppers that go in between the toes so you can paint your tonails with be like, ah, this is it just these four spread toe out toes. Or you should open a door handle or something with your foot, just to like really freak him out, start doing things with it.

Oh my god, that actually be great. I'm one hundred percent certain if I did own one of those toast other things, he'd probably pay me a thousand dollars to send it to him in the UK or something.

You're a smart man.

We pay around the same amount in rent.

Here.

I am going to work every morning, like a fuck with You're just at home taking pictures of your feet and all this nonsense for only fans, all that shit.

Yeah, god, I haven't.

I have not worked in three four months now. I don't think as much.

Oh my god.

But that's because of coronavirus, not because his body was keeping him afloat was sending selling photo and he.

Was staying a float by sending his fucking little digit.

Well he is, because that's the plan me, you know, instead of Uber driving as a backup.

Jordan, I'm a size thirteen and I got quite a wide gait. Would I get good cash from my foot? Do you think? Can I send picts to you and maybe you send them around and see what the vibe is from these feet people?

Well, should we do like a rate youofoot dot com? Oh?

Yeah, we could do only feet like just get up and running. That could be good.

So when I've seen you over there furiously googling about foot fetishes and what what have you learned?

I've learned about foot kissing, toe sucking, foot jobs and foot worship.

It's great. What can you tell us about it?

Oh?

It's just a bit strange to me.

I've really got to do everything myself, don't I I wanted like one in such and such amount of people have a foot fete.

Well, I doubt these statistics even exist. People aren't out and proud of it. They'll love a feet I think.

That is that people aren't that ashamed of it.

How interesting is this?

Right?

One psychological element of a foot fetish is humiliation, feet off and considered below people.

That's exactly That's exactly it, right woew So five percent of heterosexual women have foot fetishes, eighteen percent of heterosexual men, eleven percent of lesbian and bisexual women and twenty one percent of gay and.

Bisexual men, So US gays, it's most common among us to be a fan of the foot.

You know what. I've once seen a foot in a sock and I thought that gets me going a little bit.

What really, not like.

On a side or something else. This is someone wearing a SoC on my No, I can see it. I can see it.

I can't. I mean, I'm not shaming anyone who's into it. I mean, whatever gets you going, it's up to you.

I couldn't agree more. Jordan very quickly. For the people listening, what's Mitch like to live with? I've just always wanted to know, because he's such a fucking pain to do a podcast with. Can't imagine what it's like when he's having a buddy nighttime bath.

He is a perfect flat mate, thank you very much.

Did you just call him a fan mate? Large, Jordan? And that's disrespectful.

And he's brought the lovely Isabella into the house.

Oh my cat, Oh the cat of course. Oh you like the Godfather because you looked after the little cat when you guys.

Were He technically spends more time with her than I do because he's at home during the day taking photos of his fucking feet.

Jordan, what's the worst thing about living with Mitch?

The worst thing? Yeah, I can't think of the worst thing. Ah fuck, Yeah, he is the best flat mate that I've ever.

Had in that really. Yeah, find him we minther part anal. What if anyone should know that word, it's you, Jordan Anal. Don't you find him? A bit sort of like O. C. D.

Jordan is a little bit like that too, So it kind of works. I would say the same because we never really have to nag each other to do things. It just kind of coexists and it's all good. Sorry you were trying to get some tea.

Won't you get any arguments?

I've said this to Jordan, so it's not weird that I'm bringing it up now. The only thing that's ever like bothered me is that, you know those bloody things that you put in this sink that catches all the potato peels and shit, doesn't let it go down. Yeah, He takes them out and then wonders why our sink's

All right? We love you, Jordan, thank you for coming on the show, and meet You'll see tonight by guys. Y are Jesus? That was eye opening. We're really in the wrong business.

There's a website called footfetish match dot com meet people who love feet.

Oh, there you go, I'll hit them up.

Yeah.

It's almost like even if they were leaked and someone said, oh, these your feet, I could just be like, nah, like, how are we going to prove I'm wrong?

Yeah, very true. Or you go to a job interview in twenty years and they go, we found these online. What do you have to say for yourself? You just go THEND up behind because I've got a six time.

Do you mind? In school, they always used to be like, what if this comes up in a job interview?

Oh?

All ever come back to buy me in a job interview? Not because I hid things well, but just I don't think that actually happens. We're terrifying. She happened to a job interview.

Yeah.

And also I had a year advisor who was no a career is someone a careers advisor right now? And we had to do a mock interview and she was like him, Mitchell, interesting choice of clothing today. And I was like, oh my god. Yeah, She's like, what's your favorite color? Mitchell? None of these questions have ever been asked me in a job interview.

Well, you know, a policeman came to my school, yeah, and did this huge presentation where he'd individually researched each of us and found all this information about us. Really, He's like, it's not looking good. It says where you've been to school and all that. I'm like, well, yeah, obviously it does Jesus Christ.

All right, Well my agem actually has to do is all should be jump in.

Oh how beautiful, what a nice flow.

It's almost like we timed it all right, here we go? Is it just me? Do you think abolishing the ATA is the smartest thing that this certain university has ever done?

Oh? I didn't know that that happened.

It's been abolished.

I thought you meant that they were abolished altogether, like they just don't do them anymore. I was like shit, yeah, but there's this one.

Oh god no, it's just one university, swin Burn University in Melbourne. If you like from overseas or you are from a different state, the ATAR. What does the stand for me?

You know it's fuck, it's been a while, is it the Australian Tertiary Admissions ranking?

Yeah?

I think so, I have.

Actually, so it's like basically your final score after you finish year twelve.

Yeah. Yeah. So it's like in America you do the SATs. I think this is to get into university or to do a bachelor's degree. They all have different types of atars as entry points. And I think it's brilliant because I personally got the world's worst atar. What do you think? I want to know what you genuinely think, because the higher the better.

Just so seventy five, you bitch, I know that the absolute lowest you can get, Like they stop counting when it's thirty or less.

I didn't get an asterix. I applied myself, but I didn't put any effort in and I did drama, got a band six in drama.

That's always confused me that certain subjects bring your score down even if you're good at it.

Yep.

So like your school as well your school rankings.

You would have gone to some revolting school in the Shire and you did drama or I'm thinking fifty four.

Oh okay, Mitch is closer, am I I got. It's very funny. Sixty nine. That's pretty funny.

I'm only laughing because you find that.

Fuck. I'm so happy that I got sixty nine because I'm like, this is fucking great. But I got ten bonus points because I was school captain, so I got far.

Yes, sad you know that they got bonus atar.

Oh yeah, and I five extra bonus points for representing the country in theater. I toured around London when I was like in yeu ten. So if you represent Australia in extracurricular activity, it's I think it was written for sport. But here I am doing a fellow in Hong Kong and I get extra five points.

I got extra five points because I claim, well, I said that I was mentally ill.

You weren't lying me.

I mean I got my psychologists to write a note and they're like, oh, I.

Feel sorry, genius. So what was your atar ninety five?

What did you need extra points?

Well?

I didn't because I thought I'd do terribly.

What did you get, Mitch, Well, I didn't end up doing it. You know, you can opt out and become non matriculating. It's where you're allowed to do more like t VET and practical based subjects and then opt out of getting an ATAR, because if you're getting an ATAR, you're only allowed to do a certain amount of t vats. So like you can do maybe would work, and then the rest has to be all theory based stuff like

I sometimes think that the tape courses that are available are so much better. Yeah, and then all the other options. My sister wanted to do childcare and boom, went to a TV course, got a diploma, loved it, got hands on experience, and because you did work experience at a daycare clinic, she got a full time job out of high school and now she's making seventy five K years she's twenty.

You go, it's funny that you mention swinburn In Melbourne being the one that stopped judging people based on their ATAR, because when I decided to be non matriculating, I just had to accept the fact, no, I'm never going to UNI, because that was always what the career's advisor said. Yeah, you don't have an ATA, you're not going to UNI. So I enrolled in a tape course, right and I was so ready to do this tape course in Sydney.

I was like shit.

By this point, I'd already started making plans in Sydney. I'd agreed to live with one of my friends from school, so I just said no to them in the end, but I could not believe that I managed to get in without an ETA.

I think that's just more to my point. I didn't use my atar. I did get early entry. My ten points bumped me up to seventy nine. They rounded it up to eighty and then I got early entry. It's like it was like my first day of view twelve. The University of Woollongong. I don't think they get a lot of people.

What were you studying it?

Well, they go, we offer early entry and I'm like great, I email. They emailed back congratulations one. I'm like, what, don't even tell you who?

I am?

Like, congratulations, Michael. Well, so I got in. I studied a double degree media communications, majoring in journalism.

Oh that's what I was looking at class.

I did a bachelor's degree in theater performance at the University of Wollongong. Woeful. I was expecting Glee. Did you fucking p No. I dropped out after a trimester.

Okay, so what's that half a year?

Yeah? No, a third, Yeah, like four months. I did it. I dropped performance first because it was absolutely terrible. You know. I dropped because we had to come to school and the we were doing a movement class and we all had to go out into the wild because University of Warongong was like in fucking Narnia. It's nowhere down the south coast of Sydney, and they're like, go and find something, emulate it. And the next day you were going to

And after that we'll charge you thirty five thou literally and I.

Had I saw an inmu because we're down the fucking rainforest and I walk in and I know Joe had a word of a lie. I stand up on this dingy stage in Wollongong, fucking humidity through the roof, and I'm standing there. Mom's buckled like this, my chest is out, my legs are bent. And I was literally for ten minutes going on this and people laughing. It wasn't really mean to be.

Funny in public. Oh yeah, were your teachers they're marking you.

Or this was an assessment.

It's the weirdest thing.

And it was full of students anyway, everyone I bought it. At the end, she went, all right, Jenny, you passed Mitchell, You passed Mitch Jury. I think you're a prime example of someone who thinks they're going to fly through this course, and that's why I want you to do this again tomorrow and actually put effort in. And I was like, gut it, I'm like what I I analyzed this EMU. So I dropped out that day. Really I deferred then I still had the fucking media communications a degree to do.

To be honest, she sounds like she had a point. You were like, I'll just be an eem you. It'll be right, I can wing it. And she was like, this clown.

I love that you or someone else.

Was a fucking fish. And they're like, they're like high distinction. And she was flopping.

Around on the ground they put to emulate being out of water. There's some sort of narrative there. They've been taken out of their usual environment. You were just pecking and scuttling around.

Emotional connection between elongating your large net was I was a.

Lot skinnier at the time. I fit the bill anyway, and I dropped out of media communication. My only point is you don't need to go to UNIQ to get what you want. I if you know you want to do something in high school, trust me, it doesn't go away three years later just by doing something that your parents tell you you should do or yeah, or your career's advisor says you should do doesn't necessarily mean you

Exactly follow your gut.

I mean, Jenna wanted to do archery, and Jenny, you still.

Should I really wanted to.

You really should do it, Jenna.

Here we are banging on about anti Uni. I bet Jenna spent like nine years at Union, has like an honors and all that shit. I bet she absolutely thrived in that environment. You did, didn't you.

I don't have honors, but I do have a bachelor's degree in what in a Bachelor of Media? There you go, right, pr and advertising even though I don't do.

But you're a dean's on a list?

Yeah, to get that at what university? Are you on the deans on his list?

At UNSW And I came first in the course.

Can we call? Can we call them to find out?

Do you not believe her?

I can? I'll find something to prove that I have.

Je is boring enough Sahause for Jenna Dean's on his List.

I just love that your radio mind just kicks in at the most random points. Should we call them? No, we don't need to. We wouldn't be getting any extra information. She already told us.

What would they say, like, yeah, that we should.

Just prank call the UNI just for no reason. It's very radio Do you know what we're doing? Three calls next? But is it just you? I called Jordan for my Is it just me? We may as well make a phone call in the middle of your item, just to make it, to make it consistent.

Call her UNI the phone call special.

Can you call her? You need to say remember me?

What's that?

No, I'm not I'm not saying anything.

Would you do an impression of her Mitch and say remember me? Check the Dean's Honest List from nineteen forty I'll be on there.

Yeah, and it's the from twenty fifteen.

So Hi, just all you Hi, No, I wanted to get sae. Hi. Hi.

Welcome to you, n Swcdney.

Thank you for calling.

At present, we're unable to attend to your call, but it is important to us.

Please hold the line and you'll be answered as soon as pop.

Welcome to you and sw M I help you.

Hi. My name's Jenna Benson. I was Dean's on a list in nineteen thirty four and I was just calling to see if that was still on record.

Okay, I'll have to put you onto records, so just a moment, please, thank you. You're supposed to say it's me, remember me. It's of course, they've.

Got a records department. I just have to transfer to the records castle.

Oh they just they just let the call disconnect.

Fuck that I knew he was calling.

I've just sent you both proof.

Where are you? Oh my god?

The top one?

Oh yes, congratulations Jenne. We should never have doubted you, and I should never have doubted you. No one else had a seat of doubt, but it was me all.

And now they won't even take your calls. Everything you've done for them.

What you're listening to? Is it just me upon by a couple of mitchell Yes. You can leave us a review if you like five stars, please.

And write something nice if anything brings to mind. If nothing does, that's all right.

I have noticed that we have that the one stars are growing.

This applies to Apple Music, Apple Podcasts only of course, But it doesn't really bother me when someone leaves one star, because like, sure you didn't like it, no worries. I'm actually more bothered by the three and four stars. Yeah, I just love it or hate it.

You fuck might either make it a full or a nothing.

Oh when look, we have a new one.

I'll read it out.

If you love not my cup of tea, you will love this podcast. You promise you deleted that gun sound effect.

That wasn't me. There was a shooting right next door.

It's nice that we are getting to know Jenimore. Mitchell Coombs is as awesome as ever, and Mitch Cherry it is nice to get to know him outside of his radio gig. There you go. Oh that Joe Tickles ninety four.

Lovely Jab is fantastic, Mitch's great, and the Fat one's all right too.

Oh I just found another one. She had a bunch of new ones writing this with the hope of my name being read out on the podcast, then proceeding to have crippling anxiety as if I'm actually on the podcast and suddenly famous despite no one actually knowing who is writing this. Well, that's a lie that comes from the very famous and well known Ali seven four eight to eight seven slash and there's a lot of numbers there.

I love him.

They're brilliant in all seriousness, Ali writes, love the podcast. Its definitely worth a listen if you want the feeling of casually chatting with and bunch of mates and sure to keep up the good work legends. Thank you, Ali, we will do.

I love that she thinks we're all mates, when in reality we don't talk as soon as the recordings done.

We come together for an hour a week, and outside of that we can't.

Stand each we can't. Oh, thank you Ali. Speaking of friends coming together, guys, we're getting some guests now.

Yes, it's time for is it just you? Isn't it enough out of us?

So we do one at the start of every show. I'm sure you know if you've gotten this far. And we want to know what other people are thinking.

We want to know what our listeners have noticed. HATO appreciate, so we we spam them with our thoughts every week. So it's time they give back.

Let's make the first call. I've got a couple today. It's like a little a mooz boosh. We're going to do an entree Maine. Then a dessert. We're gonna ring Tilly, who sent us a DM on.

I haven't read any of these d ms, so I'm actually going to be hearing it for the first time, much like I hear yours for the first time every week after Bradley introduces it.

Oh, she's got a good number. You know what a number's got like a reoccurring for and two it's I made Hello Tilly?

Hi?

How are you? Oh? Wait?

Good?

This is the police. You're under arrest.

Oh my god?

Just like shit, you got me? You're you're on the cloud live? Is it just me? Mitch is here? Jenny's here?

Hi?

Tilly? Oh we're so good.

Hi Tilly, Tilly, I told you in preparation not to speak to her.

She's my favorite.

I'm sorry anyway, Tilly, we're gonna play. Sorry, Killy, We're gonna let Bradley. He's had to stay late. Normally he leaves at the start of the show. Oh my god, but he stayed back just to give you an official introduction. Are you ready to go?

I'm ready, can't wait?

All right? Here we go? Is it just me?

Do you always imagine how you're going to die? And like how your family and friends are going to react to your death?

Oh?

Absolutely all the time.

I've done it plenty of times. Is it sad that I always assume it's going to be at a young age.

Oh yeah, it's always me now dying. I never picture myself dying in thirty years from a cardiac arrest. How boring.

Yeah, you want to be you want to be a sexy like ghost, like someone old.

Yeah, and you want it to be like a sexy death too, Like, yeah, a car accident or a poisoning.

So what's your death then, Tilly, what do you imagine?

I don't know, Like I always think like I'm too clumsy, so I'll probably just fall down the stairs.

Accidentally, can have a bus or some shan the one the eulogy to be very sort of shocking, like she lived a beautiful life, a long life, surrounded by many friends, until she stepped on the Hume Highway.

And was killed by a toll truck. Like you want it to be, Oh god, that's such a storm.

Yeah, I'd like to attend my funeral, like I want to be there, like I want to party with them.

As do you want to know you're dying? Because I have an auntie who's like, well, you know what if I get cancer, We're having a party the day like I get diagnosed, because I want to be there. I want to celebrate. I don't want a sad funeral.

Yeah yeah, just have a massive piss up.

I don't think people would go out of their way to come to your fake funeral when you're still alive. People only come to the funeral in many cases out of guilt because they're like, fuck, I haven't seen them for a year. They feel they're bad. I'm going to go pay my respects. It's awkward to pay your respects when they're still alive.

Yeah.

True.

Also, it's a very kiddy thing. I remember I used to be in the car right and then the song would come around. Sorry I didn't I thought that just trying to play the song. But it has a as a built in thing at the start.

Well, we're here now, I want to know what the song is.

Okay, it's to play Yellow, everybody, Okay, So the best thing about life is when people sing along and audiences are insanely what is the song.

In the system. We have one version of Yellow, and it's that fucking integrated ninety six FM for Robin Bailey.

Why to perthput documentaries at the start of my Sorry this is the radio talk anyway. I don't know why that happened, But why would you play yellow if you're going to play anything at a funeral?

By com plate? Fix you true? Sorry? Okay? So here, I am ready. I'm probably thirteen, and I've just had a massive fight with my dad in the backseat of the car. I hate yo. Here we try your best six when you can't watch you when I start to adam Ready, my family rocking up to probably some sort

I mean, for me, it's more fleeting thoughts. But I have done enough therapy to not dwell on the thought of my own death that much. Something I'd really have tried not to think about.

They don't, but I might have fully fleshed out. It's like an episode of Big Bang Theory. Some commercial breaks and sponsorships. My funeral sponsored. Kellogg's right, we're getting very dark here.

Very dark.

Thanks for bringing it down.

Oh God, get rid of the gun. I swear to.

God, I'm not playing sound effect that we just live in a disc makes you sorry anyway, Tilly, thank you for coming on the show.

Tilly, Can I ask do you often sick around to the very end of our show?

Oh?

Of course.

Okay, so you're familiar with all the sound effects that Cherry goes absurd with. While we've got listeners on the line, I'm going to do a quick pole best of three. Do you think he should get rid of the gun sound effect? Do you think of all the sound effects that one's is not funny?

Yeah, it's probably a bit one.

In favor of getting rid of the gun.

Well, Tilly, I'll have to ask you. I say nothing if you think Mitch Coombs is entertaining. Good girl, Tilly, good girl, all right, thanks for coming on the show.

Thanks Tilling. I hope you live a long and prosperous life and I'll send a red ruth about to your way that thanks for coming on.

I've never been a babe.

Strap yourself in for a face. It's Heaven.

You're gonna love it.

Fantastic half roster role.

That's what I remember. All right, Bye till By. Lovely girl, isn't she?

I like her?

Let's get the next one on. Let's go to Holy You've got a bit dark there, didn't.

We If we had a decent producer, Jenna, they would have had the next number, dald already ready to go.

I only learned about this segment.

We have as freshly man gars. So since you made you.

Reached un look.

And how it cuts off after the first ring. Yeah, Hi, less than one dial.

Let's do the next one. Actually, Jenna, I am gonna have to hand you the phone because this is anonymous. This was sent to me by a certain listener of the show. Loves the show often comments on I have video, so if you really want to work out, you probably could, But they said please use my story, but do not name me.

Oh sorry, I didn't realize that this was being read out and not a phone call. No, well, I just made an absolute cock of myself saying, Oh, I've got three calls on the line. I'll do a pole best of three.

Why don't you tell me that's going to have to be fifty to fifty side. So there's Jenna. I'm going to give it a sound effect, and then you just read the Is it just me? So this is an anonymous anonymous gym?

I can't even ask questions.

Ready, Jenna, I'm ready, Here we go? Is it just me?

Is having the option to share an iCloud account with your parents worst idea ever?

O that sounds?

It depends what's gone wrong.

Here's the story.

Oh, my mom's not tech savvy and I can fix all her fuck ups from two hours away. The other week, I went looking for a certain photo on my stream and accidentally hit play on a video.

It was my mother's self pleasuring herself.

Oh, most serving three seconds of my life, and I don't know how to recover. Took me a week before I could call her and yell at her. Because my kids also use my Apple idea as well.

Wow, go mom, why was she? Why was she filming herself having a diddle? That's that's why.

Also, this listener is of a certain vintage. You know, she's not her twenties. Oh her mom, I'm assuming you know, maybe this listener could be.

This listener mentioned having kids herself, so she's clearly not like twelve.

Correct, she has her own kids, so you know her mom would be at least past sixty.

Good on her, I say, I agree. I don't know who she's sending it to.

Have you ever had those experiences though? Has anyone here? I haven't, because it'd be my worst nightmare ever walked in on your parents doing anything.

My mum is adamant that as a child I walked in on them once. Really, but I have a, as you say, a striking the good memory. I do not recall it. Surely maybe I buried it really deep in my memory and I've chosen to forget. But I have no recollection. She is still humiliated by it. She goes, oh, that one time Mitch walked in on dad night.

What was it was? They must have been doing something really naughty.

I don't know. I couldn't tell you Jesus. But that is an oddly specific gen so I would say, yeah, it's just you anonymous.

Yeah, I say that it's just you too. Sorry you can't say the name. Can we know anything else? In then you miss.

That?

Was you were right? You would think he's so drunken.

Can you sign this, Paine Jesus?

Okay, so we've got one phone call to go. One phone call and they it's up to them whether you delete the gun or not not deleting.

Hello out there.

She is hello for you to pick up.

Holly. What have you been up to? Not much?

Just getting home from school? Are you in I'm in your twelve Tasmania?

Oh my god? Well if you want to study in Swinburn at Melbourne, they aren't doing a TARS this year.

We're talking about are you anticipating a good atar?

Not that good?

But you know what course you want to do.

I want to go to r T and do like fashion.

Enterprise in Melbourne.

That's the in Melbourne, yeah, the technology and in Melbourne there you go another hands on college very much like that.

In Melbourne. Studying can teach you how to do a good Ham. Okay, all right, Bradley is on the migrated to go, then he can go home. He's very tired, his daughter's got to get You're ready to go?

Yeah, we go?

Is it just me.

A teaspoon so much more superior than tablespoon?

Ending on the hard hitting stuff. I think I agree, I think I completely agree with you.

Yeah, absolute nonsense. There's no way that teaspoons is a period of tablespoons.

Much better.

Tell us why, because it's just such a better size to eat with, especially like ice cream, get any.

Soft real.

And it takes longer to eat.

Exactly, you have a slice of cake with a tea spoon, It takes you so much longer to get through it. You don't shovel it down.

Yeah, you can savor the taste.

Now defend yourself, tablespoon guy.

Well, one argument is that I'm a very time poor honey, and when I crack open a tiny, little fancy feast for my Isabella in the morning, I can just get that cat fit out with one swift scoop of a tablespoon, and so I can't be pissing around with multiple scoops. I'm very busy. The other argument is that I have this weird thing where if it's something sweet that I like not ice cream because I don't like cold things

I know what you mean. Yeah, but it's an experience using a little you can almost do a little pantomime in your head, like Alice, I'm in one bland little teaspoon. I love making a tea with a teaspoon. You can't put a tablespoon and a tea. It's just a stir it properly.

Holy I'm so glad that you've got that off your chest. But I feel like you're not overly passionate about the topic. You said the idgem, and then there hasn't been much argument ever since. What is so much better about it?

It's just it's just so nice. It fits so much better in your mouth.

You know, you can get the whole thing in and out quite easily.

Yeah, especially you should definitely try eating like soup with a teaspoon.

Oh no, all right, Holly, I just wanted to ask you one thing before we let you go. So if you listen to the end of our podcast, you might hear that Mitch has this one particular sound effect that he has vowed more than once to delete because he thinks it's inappropriate in the grand scheme of things. He keeps whipping it out and proving that he hasn't delete it. Like you said, can you just play it one last time?

Yeah?

Well, the gunshot sound effecting, I've been doing a snappole. Your vote decides whether it says or goes. What do you think? Do we delete the gun.

Take your time and give justification.

I think it's to stay, So I don't think it's It could be anything. It doesn't have to be if you put it in the context of a gunshot. Maybe yeah, but I think it should stay. And you never know when you need it not always to represent a gunshot, but what.

Else could it represent?

Could be a metaphor for love or hope.

That's hell n that's actually true. It could be a.

Metaphor for a combustion of love. It could be a metaphor for a burst of anger. You know, I might want to have a sound effect of someone dropping a you know, a metal ball bearing might and I might not have it, but I might have this, and that kind of could be it. You know, it's malleable.

Yeah, I agree.

Thanks for coming on the show. Thank you. That's all right. Mitch's very upset. Oh she hung up, She's gone, it's gone.

Am I drunk? I've had the weirdest conversations in this episode. Really, we just went from arguing about spoons to finding metaphors that you could supplement the gunshot for and then we're what.

Oh, well, I personally think it was one of the best shows I've ever done. Maybe you should be drunk more often.

I'm definitely not drunk.

Really, you know, I's taking photos of his feet, big toe on that.

I don't need to be drunk to do that. That's actually quite a wise financial decision, it really is.

I can't believe I haven't thought of it.

I know. Anyway, good episode, Yeah.

Very impressed. Episode thirty three. Back next week, second last episode of season one.

That's right. We're gonna have a little break after the episode thirty five and then we'll be back for season two and next week.

I'll do are joining us on the shop? Yeah, they're joining an idiot.

There's another podcast in Sydney called, Oh dear Morgan and Mary. We love them. They are going to be joining us in the studio. We're going to do a little crossover. It's like how YouTubers used to do. Let's be like, oh, we'll do one episode or collab on our channel, our podcast, and then we're going to do an episode on their podcast.

When the Wild thorn Berrys went to that island with the Rugrats, no one knows exactly what's happening, but everyone loved it.

So have you never heard of Oh Dea? You've got one week to make yourself familiar with them. They're They're an absolute hoot.

Give them a search. They're very fun. We love them. So the two of them will be on with this next week. It's going to be fun, and then one more episode until we're into season two.

That's right, I need to I need to lie down.

He called us. He was like, we need a long break.

I just said, oh yeah, it's it's midyear. Let's have a couple of weeks off and then we'll come back all refreshed.

You know you been going since October, haven't we?

I think it was yeah, either September or October.

But now seven. We've been on for seven months.

Yeah, we have.

Jesus had a baby in this time. Almost Jenna could have almost done another PhD from that time. All right, next week, Oh are on with us and we will see you guys. Then anything else to say?

Guys?

No, all good, All right, love you guys.

Bye for listening.

Bye? Is it just me?

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app or follow on Spotify.

Welcome to add brief. This is the bit on the end that we just get a bit loose, keep chatting away aimlessly. You're not supposed to judge the show as a whole base off this section. This is kind of just the messy bit at the end that we keep secret. We don't want people to know about it. Really good, have your.

Thoughts your airplane ambulance because the secret Facebook group. Someone said, when you announce it every week, it sounds like you're an air hostess. Yeah, and I'm just making their fantasy come true.

Well, like an air hostess after Valium, because they're usually like, I don't know about you, but every air hostess I've ever had has been like horrifically peppy.

Yeah.

Agent to Film we're gonna be it's gonna be forty.

We're gonna be bring you a couple bit.

You said that are coming to you.

But it's just like oh, babe, relax or a really sassy gay man. Oh sorry, like smell and business having pizza. I wouldn't be able to get one of those. I was like, no worries anyway, welcome to ad debrief. If you want to call us any time, you can give us a buzz on eight eight six nine o four two or nine six six three seven two number four nine six four six two. I've connected the adsl too. This it's different. Couldn't get MBNA and let me go, We're on.

I'm only just upgrading to NBN only. Yeah. I got a call the other day and I was like, I feel like NBN was something that Julia Gillard introduced, so I'm I only just getting it.

Envy was a Guillard thing.

It wasn't. No, I'm not imagining that, No.

It was. It was a Labor thing. And then Malcolm Turnble made it all about him.

I apparently because my internet's fine as it is for everything browsing, downloading, but uploading. Nah, really, she can't fucking manage that and what do I do a lot of in my job? Uploading? Do I upload this podcast every week? I upload videos from home. It's like, that's the one thing that I really need internet for. But I just hot Spot from my phone because I've got like unlimited data there. So it's not really any shame. So when

Did he have to come into your house?

No, this is a phone call. I said that like three times, and.

We said when this guy finally said, because you have to get it ever get it installed, I've got to come in.

Yeah, I don't know. That's happening when I'm not even home, which is weird.

Oh.

I was like, oh, is this a scam?

You know what I've started doing this week? I was telling Jenner off the cloud that I've switched to soy milk.

What for?

Well, I hate and drinks it because he has Iba cereboar Boud syndrome undiagnosed. But that's what I think.

After I've my googling, what I don't start actioning and making lifestyle change. It based off for doctor Google.

He's been changing. I haven't changed, but him.

Does he feel better?

He does feel better. Yeah, he feels better after the sw milk, so there is something in the lactose. Anyway, I was making a coffee for him and I'm like, do you want a coffee? Is like yeah, but used the swy milk. I'm like, well, then I don't want to froth two sets of milk. It's this whole thing because you've got the milk proffer. So then there's this milk tub in the fridge and I was like, oh, is this a soy and he's like, yeah, I use that one. I'm like, it's been here for a while.

Yeah, it's not. That's when it's life begins.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, and then it dies shortly thereafter. He's like, I'm telling you, long life means it just lasts, and I was like, no, it doesn't.

Long life means it means that you can store it for ages. When you're like, oh fuck, it's seven am, and I run out. Thank God, I've got a long life.

Yeah. But then once you open it and it hits the oxygen, you can't drink it right after it expires. That's what yes, because it always says consume within seven days of opening.

Yeah.

So I told him that and he's like, you'll be fine. I'm like, all right, So this was literally today. So I poured it in the milk profile started frothing. It, poured two coffees and I'm like there was a little bit left. It gave him his coffee. I'm like, oh, we're not going to drink it, so I'll throw it out. So I rinsed it and I'm like, jeez, it feels

If I let him do it, I was like, oh, soorry, health, I love it is lovely.

So like, what did you put in little marshmallows? I'm like, yeah, chew them up.

I tell you what I could do with a long life in the cupboard because the amount of times. I can't even tell you the amount of times I have to drive to seven eleven. Mind you looking like absolute trash because I've just rolled out of bed and I'm like, I'm not not having a hot beverage before work, so I'm going down to the seven eleven at four am. Get Yeah, you've done that before plenty of times, Like it's probably once a fortnight.

Can you not wait until you get to work? Because we have a barista here at Kids who makes coffee in the morning.

No, but I just need that one initial one to wake me up.

Would you have black?

Um?

No, I feel like I need the milk. It wouldn't It wouldn't be the same. I'd be like suffering. Yeah, it'd be like a supplementary drink I need, like you know, my actual taste.

What you need? Yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, I switch from tea to coffee, up from coffee to tea first thing in the morning. Less anxious.

You drink a lot? Why does it do to make you a bit jittery?

Yeah? Like when I I always notice if I have a coffee before work in the fucking ten minutes that I sit out in the front of Jenna's waiting for her to get ready.

No, how do you do that?

I used to sit there noticing that. I was like, my part was like palpitating weird because it was just sitting there in a car in total stillness, and I'd be like, oh my god. And so now that I've switched to tea, I don't have that. I just really want like chilling in the car. I don't know what. I don't actually know what skipping a beat means. By the way, isn't that a metaphor?

No, skipping a beat actually happens when it goes like boo boom boom boom, like it does a weird rhythm.

Ah right, remind's more of like a five or four jazz timing car.

Yes, that's nice.

It's always out of way beautiful. But yeah, I switched to tea, so I'm a little b less anxious in the morning. Then I get here and start guzzling coffee, And just because I don't stay art first thing with a coffee, it seems to be fine no matter how many I drink there after. As long as I don't start the day with one, I'm fine.

What do you want to mil Dura huh, you want to meldua? Are you Tipton? What are you talking about? What type of tea?

English breakfast?

Like?

I don't know, it doesn't matter what brand dil Ma, bushels twiny. Actually, I'm pretty sure the one I've got at the moment is Aldi, really Aldi ripoff of Lipto Ali.

What is it called fucking Tipton?

I don't know. I think it's just called tea?

How do you love to rip off? Haven't we done this on the show? What Audi would call brands that they like, cocoa pops they'd call them.

I think we may have done it.

Chocolate rice bowls?

Oh my god, Speaking of which, I saw this thing TikTok the other day. It was like someone doing an impression of a bowl of rice bubbles. It was so funny. They just got really like, it's like, don't let me find it.

That's very funny.

The whole They turned the mic all the way up and you just start whispering really quickly, so like, turn mine up all the way this is what rice pobble sounds like. Just just say the alphabet really quickly. Let me try it, Okay, I think you've got to be less whispery. It's more about the movement of the tongue.

Yeah, yeah, fair.

I don't know why I'm so tired this week.

Yeah what Maybe it's the switch to tea.

Maybe you've just know that was that happened last year. This is that's not new.

Mm hmm.

This is the why I need a week off, not even a week. I don't even know how long we're having off between season one and season and two, but I need some time to just go home and enjoy the afternoon sun with my cat and not worry about the podcast.

Are you going back to bog and Gate for the break? Not at all?

Probably not. I only I only just went.

Yeah, but you only had like twenty four hours. I was shocked how quickly.

Then they can come to me.

They can't shoot pigs down here, so they've got nothing else, so.

They don't shoot pigs. Really no, why would they shoot pigs big shooting.

I went to my Aunti's in Armadale, and all the boys like, we're going to the pub, then we're going pig shooting, And I was like.

Yeah, that's something you do if your area is prone to savage pig My family home does not have balls running around what.

I'm in the shire pretty much pigs down. There have been Oxford Street on a Saturday night. I have savage pigs.

You clearly haven't been to Oxford Street on a Saturday night.

I have bed to Oxford Street.

Full of fucking greyhounds on their hind legs. Don't say they're not pigs.

Great on their hind legs.

They do.

It's very much like a skin chicken, isn't it.

So Leentl's are peaking over there after we did the rice bubble thing.

Okay, yeah, that's fucking ridiculous. I've been to Oxford Street. I went to Oxford Street, but I was out, I think, but I don't think it was. I was like looking for people to you.

Know, No, you've never really had that experience.

No, I have, but I've never I sort of got into relationships.

I have the reason they need to know, But I haven't been to Oxford Street as like an openly proud single gay man. You got with Hayden after you came out, after you've been dating him in secret for ages, so yeah for three months? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you've never had that absolute let your fucking hair down go wild at a club. Great, I miss it until I had to come out.

My poor mother found out at a cafe. Did I tell you that story?

Prob someone else told her. She heard it through the grapevine. No, in that sea of pigs, out in the shine, squeaked.

She was in the bay of pigs like my son. She was at a restaurant with her friend, and I was in Melbourne with Hayden, and I blocked her and all my family from viewing my stories, and I forgot to block her best friend, of whom she was with lunch at lunch with. Anyway, she sees hated my story, very unromantic.

And it's this man that Mitch is giving a gobbye too.

On the Great Road.

There were thirteen apostles. Oh wait, and this lady goes, oh, bitch, looks like he's enjoying his Melbourne trip. Mom's like, you haven't seen much and she was like, oh, but he put this on his story today and it was Hayden at some museum and Mom was like, what clicked? His profile went on Hayden's profile. The waiter of the restaurant struts up, Hi, you welcome to be.

Me me and mean, what can I do, Oh, my god, is that Hayden Hickson?

And mom goes, I don't know, I don't know who is this person? And you o t Hayden Hickson. I'm friends with him, and my mom was like, oh, he's in Melbourne. And he's like, yeah, he's in Melbourne. And my mom was like, do you know who he's with in Melbourne and no word of lie. He said, oh, yeah, he's with his new boyfriend Mitchell or something. I haven't met him.

Clearly, this good friend of Hayden's hadn't been thoroughly brief to shut your fucking mouth about the secret boyfriend.

Yeah, that's how it happened. Then mum got pissed on appletinis and said a selfie of her her best friend and the waiter to me going, I can't wait to meet Hayden, like blah blah blah, being really passive aggressive because I hadn't told her. And then I'm literally my heart sunk. We were on the Great Ocean Road when it happened.

Oh there you go.

I'm so fucking great.

I have to say, why was it that imperative that you posted ship on the Melbourne trip, even by blocking your family Obviously other people in your life were gonna see it. We're gonna know. It's not like it was. You're not very good at secret keeping. You should have just posted nothing, you know what.

I don't know why.

I do not know why I did, because you don't think I do.

I just I just remember thinking, oh, it'll be fine, all workout, and it didn't. That's all worked out now. That was a horrific couple of months after that. It was tragic. It's truly tragic there, guys, so they.

Completely forgot about I completely forgot about that.

Yeah, look, I mean I can fully regret it if you no, no, I freate he was overhead. We were in the bush. I into a jazz bar that night. Seagulls can go down because there's no seagulls at the jazz bar unless there was no There wasn't anyway.

One time, I was going to post an Instagram story on a Sunday about how hungover I was, but I had fully committed to the idea of calling in sick on Monday, and I was like, shit, I can't put this on Instagram story and then calling sick. They all know that. It's because I was absolutely drunk out of my mind on the weekend. So I went into the bit where you hide your story from people, and God turns out there's a lot of people in this workplace. I was like, all right, I'll block the EP, block

That rendezvous did not, you know, Bode. Well, you've got mail, oh brilliant, because live tweets are broken. I've had to install a cake means of communications. You've got mail, thank you. If you want to send us an email iGEM dot podcast dot email address at gmail dot com. It was hot mail and I forgot the passwords. I want the AOL with the AOL. I forgot the passwords, so you can't do that. You can call us as well, but yeah, we have three emails. You've got mail, four emails. People

Have you still not fixed live tweets?

The Brian the technicians away in.

Hawaii and he's forgotten the ao L.

I's got my AOL password, hot Mail, Gmail, everything all right? Well, what can we say about next week. The dear team are very what are their names again? It's Margaret, go on, Margaret, is it? Damien No, Trent McAthy.

Well, the four of us are in a group chat called all the Ms because all of our names begin with M. So you figure it out.

Oh, the woman's Mary mm hmm. And the bully is Marcus.

No, he is not.

Morgan Morgan, Morgan and Mary. Their podcast is very, very fun never in my life.

They're a lot.

They're very funny, but they're also very smart. It's intimidating.

It's our podcast if we were intelligent.

I know.

I'm planning next week. I'm hoping to ask for their help in maybe helping us come up with a new catchphrase for the show. Not that I have anything against something you've noticed, not that you hate to appreciate, but theirs, it's great.

What is it?

It's your number, it's your source for all things pop culture, politics, Penis and Pussy. That's brilliant And I'm like, that's wonderful. I love that they talk about like, you know, sex and politics and yeah, pop culture and stuff. I'm like, damn it, that's that's awesome.

Peters and Pussy.

I want them to come up with one for us.

What could ours be?

I'm going to ask them, we can come.

Up with one. We don't need the help. Marion Marcus's opinion. We could do is it just me? Got a question? Keep it to yourself.

But that doesn't really sum up what we're about.

It's fun to yellow people. We could do is it just me? A current affair? But without the research.

No, I'm not sold on that. I'm telling you, we can just do this next week.

Could be very true anyway.

And I'm looking at the sound effects forward.

No, no, I'm not. I know how much I hate it when I do the sound effects. I would never all right, we should probably raption.

When are you going to get the tweet thing back? The said that they could build the Okay, letting go of the stupid theater of the live tweeting thing. People are now saying, oh, we missed the live tweeting thing. I personally hate it, but I do take on feedback from our audience. You've said you're going to get it for like the last three weeks. You've also said you're gonna delete the gun sound effect. Would it kill you to do something that you said you're actually gonna do.

Do you want to delete the gun sound effect?

Yes?

Which one?

Though?

You want the old timey both?

Yes?

You don't like the four the little thing that could maime more seriously injure a person.

No, I feel like it's a metaphor.

Yeah, I did too, for what Mitch?

You know, my anxiety everything.

I agree, And I feel like you're very tense today as well, Mitch.

Yeah, what's happened? Nothing? Really, I just want you to get it to the gun sounds nor cat. I do miss my cat all the time, but yeah, all the time. You know what it's like to be a pet owner, you know, miss my dog all the time? I do. She apparently misses me. Tor Jordan said that she sits at the door and waits for me to come home. God, and when she hears me reversing into the carport downstairs, she gets excited.

You've become such a weird cat guy very quickly. You were that online social media sensation, the Christian Hull of the East, and now overnight you're simply the cat guy all your content.

I haven't lost followers because of the cat I'm.

Sure you haven't, but you haven't gained followers because of the cat.

I've definitely got a lot more people engaging with the cat thing. Like there's fellow cat owners, you know, flying to shit.

How many cat be honest? How many cat groups you now part of on Facebook?

Just the one I joined?

No?

Why are you laughing at the hat?

That's so funny? Why is it funny?

Who is it?

Cat Owners United?

No, it's Maggie's Rescue. Foster Care is an adopting That's where definitely is from. Yeah, that's where the place that I adopted her from. There's a group for everyone in there that you know is one of the people that you know what I mean? I can't think of the well I know what you mean.

Oh okay, that's cute. I thought you were part of like Cat Owners Australia. I would all post your collars and you no litter? And do you find yourself missing Isabella? Say you've spent six hours over time at work? Do you think about can we go home and play with my cat? Oh?

Like, not in that sense, but I do often think that's where i'd rather be, Like, obviously I don't want to be doing overtime at work and I could be at home with the cat.

Do you think it's an ideal relationship because she just can't talk back to you.

She does talk back to me, just saying, you know.

Yeah, well your hand was maimed over the weekend.

That's got nothing to do with the talking.

Well done, exactly. Think she was thinking positive things while she was clawing at your fucking artery.

Well, I was trying to put a harness on her, and she absolutely mauled my arm to death. But you know I probably would too if someone was trying to put a lasso around my neck.

Yeah, very true.

I'd be like, aay, what the fuck we didn't discuss this.

Good point.

I believe you bought a harness for your cat, I know.

And then someone online said, oh, you just need her to associate it with come, so like put it in her cat bed so that she kind of gets used to it being near her every night since she's slept on my bed because she won't go near her bed so long as that harness is there.

She's she's very smart.

I keep waking up at like ten pm and I like, what the fuck are you doing? And she does that thing that all cats it, you know, when they're like tread on the surface and like, get all comfortable.

I'm like, oh mate, this show is slowly becoming the fucking cat Podcast.

I'm fine with that.

Let's do some how the cow? Did you start the cat podcast? Welcome back to Cat Weekly. Today. We have a beautiful tabby going up for grabs later in the show.

Today we're going to learn. Today we're going to be hearing from and learning from high functioning cats. Today's guest Jenna Benson. Jenna the cat who has managed to maintain a full time job, get on the honest List at university, and host a highly successful podcast alongside two iconic men. Jenna, Welcome to the show.

She still has time for a tab of fancy for the allover.

Welcome to the show.

Jenna.

Hi, Now a lot of cats look up to you as a very successful cat.

Yes they do.

That's how it would be.

Question.

Okay, you know what? That was better than I anticipated.

Yep. Anyway, anyway, highly functioning.

What's a highly functioning cat? And what's a low functioning cat?

Well, some cats don't leave their apartments. Jenna has a job.

Very true. Can you drive a car? You can't drive a car? No? Well I can, but I just don't have one.

Why are you acting like this is new information.

I don't know she couldn't drive. I just thought she didn't drive.

She's been on l's for four decades.

Have you done any driving courses or classes?

Yeah?

I went for my PAS four years ago and I failed because.

I didn't know that bit we were you were reading where.

The guy had to say can you slow down? So then I was like, okay, well I've obviously failed.

Also was alleged to cats who are sneezing the whole time. Oh, Jenna, are your poor thing? You should learn to drive those so mes just have to wait for you every morning.

Oh, for goodness sake, it's not the waiting, it's just the air of panic that enters my space first thing in the morning. Yea, because she sees me already parked there five twenty am. Every morning. We agree it'll be five twenty six, and Sheldon just get in the car and go. Sorry, I'm late. This is what I see out my window already.

Yeah, I'm watching. He's getting up out of his chair. He's leaving the studio. Okay, so he's being you, Jenna. The doors close.

Oh sorry, sorry I'm late, and I'm like, babe, Oh, you don't have to sprint with such a radicness in your person, in your breath. I don't need that first thing in the morning makes me very uneasy.

What do you do with your morning routine? Do you shower every morning?

Yes?

Do you, Mitch? Yeah?

I actually no, sorry, every night?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, same, I shower every night. I shower both really yeah, well, just I think it's a good idea. Anyway, we should probably think about leaving. We've been going on for a bloody ages.

How hopefully you can learn to be on time, Jenna. That wouldn't kill me.

What about this week?

What about this week?

What about this week?

Jenna?

Okay, what do you call five thirty?

Oh?

We have this rale that if I'm not there by five thirty and I haven't texted her beforehand to say don't worry I'm coming, that means I've slept in and just walked to work.

Nice rule. Yeah.

And so if I realized, oh it's five thirty, oh shit, I will just message it, but like, don't worry it for the coming.

Yeah.

And that's happened a couple of times recently.

A couple really do you freak out? Do you start walking.

No, it's at five thirty. That's when she starts, Ah.

Yes, are you waiting in the fouryer?

No, I'm waiting in the cold, real, Jenna, Jez, stay in your apartment?

How LOLd does it take to get down in the Americans?

Then I love to sprint doun again.

Has Amanda Keller ever called you? Where are you?

No? Really?

What kills me is that I'm pretty sure Jenna has me on fire my friends, so she knows when I'm nearby. Oh, I don't use that, And it's still such a rude shock when I'm there and I'm like out in the front of her house waiting for her.

Can't well, No, you can literally track my move.

I'd love to have you guys on fire. My friends should be at each other.

Yeah, oh I could. I could untangle all sorts of webs of lies that you're caught in. Are you sure you want to? Are you ready for that step?

I don't lie about my Whereabout's not a fucking murderer serial the podcast.

I just opened the app and be like, oh, yeah, Mitch's in the building. You must be stuck making small talk with death in the news room again.

I make small talk with so many people in this I.

Know it takes you so long to get from the car park to hear well.

Everyone loves to talk to me because I listen to their stories with so much intent.

How do I do this again?

People tell me some wonderful things. Find my Jerry from sales, his wife's pregnant twins on and you know how they struggled. Oh my god, so good for him. And then yeah, I mean they're pregnant. Really we should say they're pregnant.

No, you shouldn't, shouldn't.

Know it's it's not hard for the guy. Really all put it in, you know what I mean? I feel I saw the funniest tweet. It's very vulgar. You guys ready for it. It's like someone was a comedian. She was like, when people say we're expecting, when people say we've been trying for a baby, all our picture is he's been doing massive cummings in my pussy. That was very funny.

Where's the humor in that? I understand there's no wit involved.

What is that?

What that's not fun?

I thought it was very funny because it's true when someone says to you, oh, we've been trying for a baby. I instantly think, oh, you've been having unprotected sex and yeah nothing that just my mind goes there. What if the cleaner of the building goes, we've been trying. You instantly think of sex in your idea. That's fine, of course I love it.

Well, yeah, that's how it happened.

What if I told you that I was trying with my life and you had to picture me mounting a woman? Would be fine with it by your logic?

Well, and what if I wasn't fine with it? What am I going to do? Like, I'm not going to swell on such a useless emotion. They had sex to concede. If you're a couple, I assume you fuck, I know.

But the fun part of this is thinking about it.

Oh is that right?

Yeah?

Goodness me. Your mind must be a prison. Open the doors.

I am relaxed because I'm just like, yeah, whatever, they pork to have a kid, that's fine.

Yeah.

What about a couple that you think are interesting and you have to think about them having set you go? How would have worked for them? Really?

I don't judge them.

I don't give judging.

I'm just saying I always think the people like the people that you would least expect are actually the most kinky one hundred to meek and mild to ones, I'm like, you're a beast. Yeah, that's why they call me meet Mitch.

That's why jenn as the groundskeeper. And way, I'm just Mitch because very vanilla. All right, we need to get out of here, guys, I mean a great way. Next week, are on with Oh I'm going to say that next week when I have them on, I'm my Oh Michael and Margaret, host of the Fame podcast. Oh dear, different every time. It's a different sort of annunciation. Oh, someone's just to give me a story, and I'll do my oda based on that.

You're the passenger. You're in the passenger seat on a Sunday drive and you guys accidentally hit a white dove.

Oh dear, Oh yeah, actually that's better. I'll give you one. Okay. You are a boost juice. You order a banana bars, a large one, and they give it to you and as she passes to you, she drops it.

Oh dear, No, it's okay, it's okay.

Oh that's nice. All right, gen, I got one for you. Let's just say you are back working in Studio ten and Kerry and Kennerley offers you work experience.

Dear, can we go?

We'll see you next week.

Bye guys, Bye bye.