#246: The Final Talkback Tingz

Just hoo stood the black couple of mitches.

Yeah, release yourself for the rude shocks of young adultsthood.

Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick? Or sit on a dick and need a cake.

Sit on a deck and eat a cake? Absolutely?

If you sit on the cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd have a waste of cake by sit.

No?

His Michurie and Mitchell.

Kums Hello, yo, I love yea. Oh Mitchell's ready for my recital. Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, I may awaken today.

Yeah, Mitchell Coombs is bringing back his child instrument.

I've not touched a violin in ten years. I think, Well, no, I brought you a violin.

Well, I couldn't play that. That's the whole point of this.

I'm going to be seeing if I remember how to play a violin from when I was in school.

Yeah, and I got with me hang on as part of our bucket list.

Because the podcast is ending, we're in our final ten episodes, and this is part of that.

I've got it here. Look at this.

What's bigger than I thought? Price Keeper Jener is here as well. Hey, Jenner, that is a big violin if ever i've seen one.

Yeah, it's a full size one.

Yeah, yeah, I don't know the difference between violins.

And shout out to.

A Erwin Violins yep, who provided this for me. They're in Edgecliff, Okay, Alan seems like quite a genius.

Actually, if you need a violin and you're an edge Cliff.

Oh, good to know. I think that's the sort of shop people would go out of their way for, aren't.

Yeah, Cliff, No, it's a special.

Here we go. Look at this thing. This is the first time I've opened it because now.

He said to you, remember you haven't opened this since you left the store. He said, don't open it until you're on the show.

Yeah.

He was like, no, no, no, don't cheat. Just see if you've got that muscle memory.

Oh, it's.

Confirming it is a violin.

Wow, it's a beautiful violin.

Look at that.

That is gorgeous.

I won't play it now, I'll save that for later in the episode, but just confirming it's here.

Hang on, is it in tune? Bit off, I'll tune it later.

That's beautiful.

The bow has horse hair, and that's what was missing when you got me.

Because I still not convinced.

That it's like a horse tale.

You know, I do hear it. It's horse hair, hear it, smell it. Is it actually horse hair or is it?

No, it's like a horse's tail. I believe.

Wow, this is incredible fine craftsmanship too. If I'm to blad to use it that's coming up in the show. Put a horse hair. You could donate some of your ponytail, I'd say to be it's very fine. Yeah, Oh Mitchell, are you nervous or do you feel like flying back?

It's not going to be good. It's not going to be good.

Well, we've done this before. For me, I claim that I could still play the saxophone and you couldn't. No, I couldn't.

No.

I knew the first three notes to Eye of the Tiger, it's the and then it collected.

I actually do have a little recap of your saxophone playing also talk back things on the way.

And I believe Mitchell, you've got a message from Australian Radio Royalty John Laws.

We have sat down and spoken with and he's done a farewell message for us.

Fuck.

Do you remember going to that studio in that interview? We were nervous the old vintage carpet which has the two sm branding on it, and we.

Waited for it on the carpet wall.

The corvet of walls, and we kind of just sat there and he didn't really know what he was doing, didn't quite understand that, like we were kind of funny people. He didn't know if he was being interviewed by journalists.

He liked it by the end, he did. Yeah, he did.

You want you offered him some of your vape?

That's the fuck? I forgot about that. What was it?

Anyway, I've got some cranky John Laws moments because he's now retiring as well.

He is.

Yeah, he announced his retirement the same as us. Yeah, same week as us.

It was a couple of days after us. That we must have been the inspiration. I'm sure he keeps abreast of our career.

Of course he would have heard and said, well, if they're gone, there's no point broadcasting my nervousiss.

Letter, like, well, there's no competition now, so so coming will you tell us how you got it as well?

Yeah, I'll get to all that later, don'ts do it?

Okay? Right, Well, welcome to the show everyone. If it's your first time listening. It's this just me. Every week we start the same with two gyms. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch does not know mine, and I do not know Mitch's and price Kbgena does not know much.

I don't. She's just I just sit here and Yeah, what's yours going to be about? Today?

Mine is about something that I've noticed on the internet, on TikTok.

Especially, right, we've got very different TikTok feeds. If we've learned anything on this podcast.

Oh yeah, mine is Mine is all healthy anxiety.

I'm going to put money on the fact that I probably haven't seen what the fuck you're going to talk about.

You would have, I know you would have. Yeah, because this is not a certain trend or a creator. This is the language used by the entirety of new aged influences in the Internet. That is annoying me, Like we don't do it on this show. I don't know why people treat language differently on TikTok and on Instagram.

Okay, well we'll get to that that I kick things off.

What's yours?

Well, I can just tell you now if I'm sure, Yeah, all right, go for it, all right? Bradley, let's go.

It just.

It's microwave popcorn, a disaster waiting to fucking happen.

Oh, microwave popcorn. I gave up on.

Yeah.

No, I've had far too many yeah burnt bottom moments and it's just not enjoyable.

Ever.

The first like four handfuls delicious, and then it starts to go to burntown and it's shocking.

Firstly, I feel I don't want to sound like a burmer on Facebook, but I feel there's less in the bag than there used to be.

Okay, yeah, I agree with you.

Because I'm not kidding. I am using the same fucking bowl that I always have for popcorn, and it's less full in recent months. But also it's just you can't win when you're microwaving popcorn either.

It's more kernels than anything.

Yeah.

And if you try and do that thing that Sean and I love to do, where you put the maltese in the popcorn and they sort of melt and it's a beautiful combination.

I've ever done that, mate, you're missing out.

But the problem is if you do it at home and there's all this unpopped corn in the bottom, it sticks to.

The fucking Maltese.

And that's disgusting putting those kernels in your mouth.

You're not It's not a nice and easy way to do it. But popping like actual corn kernels in like butter on the hot plate is so much better. You get such a good pop.

Yeah, I've heard that and I've watched people do it, but I fucked it up doing it that way as well.

Oh right, so what do you do? Just buy the pre bag stuff it's perfect.

Yeah, it's not the same.

So I'm saying, either it doesn't cook enough there's all these unpopped fucking kernels in there, or you set the house on fire. Yeah, and half of it's burned and then there's still unpopped ones.

I don't understand how to win with that ship.

Yeah, and it's chemical warfare. The fucking smell of burnt popcorn is discussing. It's horrific.

It lingered for ages because Sean basically set the whole fucking bag of popcorn on fire recently, and we basically threw it down the en syncarator with the water on because it was on fire. And Sean goes, oh, thank god, there's no smoke detector in our kitchen.

I was like, what there isn't Where the fuck's that smoke detector in my office? Apparently, Ah, you.

Need one in your kitchen.

That's what I would have.

Thought, especially the office where I changed smoke cigarettes all day.

Waiting to happen about content creations on fire.

Yeah, from all the bombs that I drop it.

I am a popcorn lover at the movies. Yeah, that smell when you walk to the lobby and you smell the popcorn. I was scrolling for Uber. It's the other night in my area. We've got a hots really close to my house, and you can Uber eats and chop tops and movie pints, and I thought, I fucking wanted to fantastic. I really want to do it, just because it's the best taste.

In the world.

Although Uber eats sing or getting popcorn delivered, it wouldn't be quite the same by the time it got to You.

Know, something about that hot popcorn straight in that box is so good. Exactly with you? Why are you eating so much microwave popcorn too? You got movies at the moment.

Do you know?

It's not that I'm eating so much, but every so often we will if we're both staying in on a Saturday night. We're like, right, it's gonna be one of those arts keeping back on the couch. Malteese is in the popcorn beautiful. I don't feel like it used to be this hard. And I'm using the same micro wave. I'm using the same brand of bloody popcorn. It just keeps going wrong all of a sudden.

You know what, different microwaves have different wattage and different power, so you actually might need to like change your settings to make sure it's perfect like that.

It's the same microwave of all with you, I'm blaming the company. What's the brand that makes that bloody microwave popcorn?

Oh?

I can see the package.

I can see the package too, Yeah.

Pops, what is it? Poppin' pop popcorn? Pop blue and yeah blue, and it's got the yellow and white poppin'.

I saw your ship out play popping because not enough of popping. Frankly, that's actually the issue.

You're not popping off. Yeah all right, Well, I'm sure they'll hit this.

No doubt.

It's the big fans of our work. Yeah yeah, and why wouldn't they be first name Mary?

Yeah, thank you Mary?

Pop?

No, I got it.

I did get it? All right, shall we do my agent? I've got one?

Sure, all right, what's this language beef? You've got?

All right? Here we go, Pop Bradley? Is it just me? Has censorship on TikTok and Instagram gone way too far? Like language sensorship.

Also on TikTok.

I will say on TikTok, I was watching a video and I had no idea what this man was saying, talking about a true crime story where a woman unlived herself, and I was like, why is he saying un alive? Say just say she died she.

I feel like that's not even that subtle of a cover up word.

No, well, that's my point. I saw another content creator, a sex worker, talking about their meat.

Stick meat stick and they have segs.

Going into a schmoll and they are a Segs worker and I'm like.

S eggs. They always write that titles and I get it.

I get why they do it, because they're trying to get around the algorithm, you know, banning them or getting the blocking their video so that I've get seen. So it's a way for them to talk about it and still get views. However, we now just have a new vocabulary that is TikTok words.

So we now, actually you would think TikTok would cotton onto them.

It annoys me, but we're also adults. We know what these words mean. Why you got Newtube. We can watch any movie, we can watch any TV show, and we talk about these themes. You go on TikTok and Instagram and it's Schmeck's or segs or my meat pole and it's I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm a kid.

I get a lot more things, a lot more videos taken off TikTok than I do on Instagram. Things can slide on Instagram and Facebook and what have you, but TikTok are very strict.

I posted a video recently.

You know those fucking scam messages you get, it's clearly a scam. It's some lady being like, click this link and enter my chat room.

I've got my tits out. I need to fuck tonight.

I get so many, and so I took a bunch of screenshots and I was just kind of being like, babes, you're backing up the wrong tree. Like I was responding to all these messages in a video, I blurred the puss out I blurred all the words out in it, and I didn't say anything too revolting myself. Instagram fun TikTok got taken down for explicit compliment. I was like, am I supposed to do two versions where I say segs?

Yeah, that effects.

That's what I mean with my breakfast show that I work on. What if the Oh yeah it's Amanda Keller show.

Anyway, that's been nice.

I upclouded a video of this guy talking about his mental health battle and it was really really good and he didn't mention anything like suicidal or anything. It was just alluding to past attempts and stuff, but nothing explicit. Was taken down in seconds for explicit material, Like.

I understand trigger warnings and yet people can be triggered, and sometimes I'm triggered by things I see. I get it.

But also it was something recently that came out that said a lot of teenagers young adults these days use TikTok as like an education source when it comes to mental health. So why you sense through it to educate people if you're using words like eggs and whatever.

Yes, also think about it.

When I was in high school, we had to get the fucking Atlas out on the World History Book, and we were learning about all the horrific things that have happened time and time again, and we were looking at the Vietnam War and the burning of these people. Look at these fans of these nude kids. They've been apalmed. And I was his twelve year old. Yeah, and I'm like, this is brutal. And then now we're like, seggs, meat pole. I just think it's gone too far.

Meat Pole. I'm sorry, that's worse, meat Pole.

Yeah, meat polish.

It's worse than saying penis is fair.

And you know what, that's why Mitch and I getting out of podcasting. Sorry, it's just the world is too woke. And we went, oh my god.

Imagine, bitch, I can see meat pole. Oh yeah.

Do you remember when I had my award winning stand up comedy show called water Off a duck's clit. Yeah, people would censor the word clear, which by the way, made it look worse.

See asterix asterix off for ducks. That's not better. But I'm like, that's a body part. Yeah, shouldn't been. That's not a swear word.

And so it's penis now out of bounds on TikTok, but meat pole?

Yeah, fine, you know what did you'm on the fly?

Do we cater too much of society around around the kids?

Yeah?

Around kids. I don't swear in public because what if the kids hear it? Go to school like I had to.

Yeah.

I literally learned to swear at a Catholic primary school.

Right.

He never sworn in my life when I was at bog and Gate Public. As soon as I went to the Catholic school, which you would think would be more uptight, upstanding citizens whatever you think that's what I would be walking into.

But no, they were puree for me, absolutely pure.

I went to a public school, you know, three kilometers from the beach. It was brutal.

Yeah, there's nothing they haven't heard or said. I feel totally.

There were schmegs in the in the in the school bathroom. Yeah, I'm not joking.

Schlubbies.

Oh my god, Slobby. I went to school with a boy named Aaron Gobby. Aaron Gobby that's his Christian name? Is gay?

Really?

Aaron Gobby Gay?

Well what's this fucking only fans name going to be?

Then?

Gobby?

You can't use it? The name and his birth certificate.

Called Gobby's globe. It just sounded like a pawn conglomerate.

Imagine if he got censored, he would Oh my god, did I tell you this one time? Because I subscribed to I can't remember what podcast it was. It might have been like a Mum of Me or one or something. Yes, and they interviewed Sarah Arbo from The Today Show.

Yeah, her last name is spelled ab oh no, and the podcast.

App just automatically sensor it, so it's like a asterisk o because they thought it was an indigenous slur.

Again, it's like the click thing that makes it look worse. That's just her name.

That's really bad.

The title of the episode, it would have been automatic thing. They didn't write it.

Of course, I get it. It's the same spelling as a slur, so you know they're doing the algorithms, doing the right thing. But still, yeah, who knew the algorithm was so woke?

Yeah, and we've never been sensed in our title, So everybody's made an episode title see you next Tuesday.

Oh my god, should we try? Why don't we? Why don't you just write three swear words as the show title today and see if it's okay? I want to put prick.

That's barely a swear word.

Okay, slut o good?

No, I don't want to do that.

We don't want to lose the listen.

No, how confronting for someone who might.

Be new here, I don't think so, you know, make new friends when you're terminal? What's the You can't bond?

That's terrible?

Is it just we?

Now all we're asking chalks?

Please please please read as my star?

Yeah?

What was that?

Was amazing?

You guys that was coming here?

Be board.

We made some jingles. You'll hear them over the next.

Three We guys have too much time on your hands.

I think we didn't take long.

Wow, we've got a gorgeous voice.

It was really beautiful.

Well, I'm also going to be blowing your minds of my talent today. Should we do the violin recitle now?

Well?

No, we just had the musical treats of Oscar Kirk. So perhaps we get our John Law's message. I see you're saving the best to last. That sip you could say that.

Yeah, see, we're only talk back things first. Yes, yeah, radio, we can do that.

Let's go.

Whenever we hear cookedshit on talk back radio, we bring it your way, idiots, because nobody in our sort of age bracket really listens to talk about radio that much.

You don't need to. We'll keep you in the leap if anything good happen.

Yeah, and we're going to trim the fat. These are just the good cooked bits that you really want to listen. You don't want to listen to the rambling about coal, seam gas and Trump boring.

Yeah, don't go there. You're to send up angry and brain dead pretty much. Yeah. And today we are paying tribute again to John Laws because this Friday will be his.

Last day on air. Ever.

He announced that he's retiring from radio after seventy fucking years, the same week that we announced we're ending the podcast. So it's a huge blow to the broadcast industry. A lot of legends are bowing out, aren't they.

Wait, So he's been on air for seventy years, Mitchell, that's inside.

I don't know if that's in total though, because he did retire once before, but then was like fuck it, I miss it, I'm coming back.

I came back here.

Yeah.

So I guess that's a cumulative of the seventy years, aren't So.

Do you want to hear the announcement that he's retiring.

I haven't heard it.

Okay, well here you are. We'll start with this and then I've got a few cooked moments from him.

It's time for is what I think. And you know, I've done it for a very very very very long time, and I think that I'll just call it a day and call it a day pretty soon, probably beginning of November. Beginning of November, I think is probably the time. But I've done it for seventy years. That's a long time. Wow, long time. Fantastic years, fantastic years. Had a really really good time, and love you know, most of it, loved

There you go.

I thought it was mass shooting at you there.

So yeah, he's.

Bowing out this Friday, November eighth, and we sat down with him a couple of years ago, we've had him on this podcast, and so on Friday, we're going to repost that interview as like a little bonus thing, So keep an eye for that in your feet.

We're massive radio nerds, right, and that's where you and I met. So it was very full circle for us to interview him.

Yeah, it was fucking intimidating. If you need reminding, like you'll hear it on Friday.

It was.

He was a tough nut to crack. Put it that way. But as we all know, because our idiots love hearing talkback ting segments, as we know, he's at his best when he's arguing with callers. Yeah, he doesn't really respond well to criticism out John.

No, he doesn't not at all. No, And you know what, you've been broadcasting for seventy years. Who is anyone else to criticize him?

I think he fucking loves it.

Oh you think secretly he wants it.

I think he really enjoys, like yeah, like he would never say it or produce that.

Oh, don't put them through, they're just going to roll me up. He's like comel on fucking on. Yeah, right, he knows good radio.

Yes, So the weird thing. I've got two examples. The weird thing about the first one is that it's never fucking clear what they're even arguing about. The caller has an issue with John, but never actually says what it specifies what it is. They just lockhorns from the instance that he's let on, let's go.

One, three hundred bops, five, six, four. I just I'm sorry. I nearly burped.

I didn't you did?

Kerry? Are you there? Yeah? Okay, Kerry, what do you want to talk about?

Well, for starters, I believe you're a total hypocrite.

Oh dear, oh dear, bless me, and you chop and change.

Okay, okay, but hang on, hold, hold the phone. Would you explain to me? Why hang on?

Just be quiet?

You be quiet, okay, floors, don't talk to me like that, your old goat. What a vile human being you are. I don't want you to listen to the program.

You're a you're can't even pronounce words correctly?

No, here we go? What word can't I pronounce correctly?

To yourself?

Just stumble over words?

God, you're a fool.

But anyway, you're a.

You're a horrible man. You're a nasty. You're a you're a horrible, creepy kind of man. You wouldn't give me. Yes, yes you are. You're creepy. And you're saying I'm a hypocrite.

You are a hypocrite.

Okay, but you haven't told me. You haven't told me why I'm a hypocrite.

He's right to be quiet?

What be quiet?

That's what you tell people.

That's that's right. I do. I do. I'm doing the program, and I wish you'd be crying.

Listen to listen to.

Will you do? To start with you halfway? You're an idiot? Why do you listen?

Why am I creepy?

Laws?

Because you're listening to something that you obviously hate and don't call and don't call me laws Kerry.

Yeah, your arguments now all the same, you pick you just talk.

Why do you look? Why do you listen? Listen? Why do you listen? You go, that's my business, it's my business. It's me you're listening to.

That's donny, your bloody business.

How much you got in the bank?

Tell me, well, that's none of your business. Of crap. God, you're nasty, you really are evil nasty man. Well, I tell you what I'd like to be able to grab you by the lapils. You're a real jerk. You are a real jerk.

In your studio face to face.

Yeah yeah, okay, the door's open now, flim me up. I'll tell you what. I'd love you to come in here. You really are an unpleasant man. You're the kind of you know my my pugilistic days are along behind me. But I'd make an exception. You make me violent. I'd like to smack you in the face.

You make me violent.

I also just love the little Oh I almost purp No.

One three hundred five six foot just some so. I nearly did.

Doing a bit bomb. I didn't. That was skew.

The esopha guy. Is that what's cooled? That really escalated. He wanted to hurt that man by the lapels. What does that even mean? The lapels?

Well, like the lapel, like the little the part of a collar.

Yeah yeah, okay. I kind of felt bad for John.

I did too. He never really explained why he like him.

No, we never got around to explaining why he's a hypocrite.

And John makes a good point that he's listening to.

The show that's the thing, and that he's a goat.

Oh the goat was great.

I loved he caught him a gos his insults the early days.

We did a whole like montage.

Of his best insult. We've got even more to add to the fucking listen. Now, another example, This lady called in because apparently John had been speaking to a guy on air that was like talking about being an alcoholic. And John's not the most fucking sensitive creature. He just kind of tough love approach about like you should get off that stuff or something. And then this lady caught up being like, oh, you should have handled that better. And again, how does John respond to criticism?

No, not great?

How do you say your name Manaire?

Is that actually context I need to give as well before I play that he does this thing every year where he gives out Christmas puddings to certain callers, and so that is the context you need to go into this.

Hang on, how do you say your name Manair? Is that your name?

That's perfect?

Yeah? Okay, all right, mynir, Why why did you call me?

I just we go to the car because we're road shipping my daughter and I we just kind of heard the ending of the conversation with the man that had the drinking problem. Yep, and yeah, I just felt really sorry for him. I if you're giving out the pudding to everyone that called, can I give him mine?

Oh? No, that's too complicated. But I'm happy to give you a pudding if you'd like one. I can't.

I just send it to him.

No, I'm not going to do it because once we started, we'll have everybody wanting to send it on to somebody else. Know, So you either a or you don't accept it? Mane air, I don't accept it, then, okay, why won't you accept it?

I just felt sorry to him.

Yeah, well I feel sorry for him.

To Jim, well, when you get off the booze, maybe I'll give you a pudding. But if it was that easy, don't you think he would be off it already. It's very easy for someone like you to say just get off it. He's got trauma and he's life that's not helpful whatsoever. And he was actually really lovely to you. Yes, he loved you, and I thought that you treated him really unkindly, pat do you think he is feeling right now after the conversation with you?

Listen Mania or whatever your neighbor is we know that man. He's called before. I've dealt with him before, and he likes me, even if you don't, my dear, and I know that doesn't mean you know him. Listen to me, You're stupid, bloody woman. Do you think that I don't know how difficult it is to get off the booze. I've spoken to.

Him a lot, a lot of.

Alcoholic keeps in my life. Would you do something for me?

No, Oh, that was my daughter, she said, No.

That was your daughter.

That was my daughter, who actually is a really emphathetic girl. We got in the car, we turned on the radio and she was really disgusted by what she heard. And I just think you need to And how old is.

That precocious breath?

You start talking to people like that?

You would to mind your own damn business.

Well, don't have the radio show if you don't want people listening.

I've done it for seventy years. I must be doing something right.

Oh I want to start.

Doing that on my radio show, just pulling people bitches and they're.

Going to the ad break, you dumb slot.

God. That was a that was intense. I would never speak to a call like that.

I love the way that she absolutely had a point. She did. It's like, nah, yeah she did.

She did.

And also all over a pudding, So do you want a pudding?

She was pretty bold and you know what, she was quite sweet with him. She's why why he upsets.

She didn't lash out one bit.

Reason he's got such a short temper. What he also like, he's John Laws. He knows that there's a character. Half of this is he guys, this is why people listen to me. So he do this because you know, he sees his opportunity. He takes it.

Often he'll have like a real punish of a caller and he'll be patient with them and not lash out. But then people will then call and be like, why the fuck didn't you rip them to shreds? They kept it. People are wanting him to lash out. Here's a national is he I don't know.

It's like regional news South Wales, some stations in Queensland, I don't know, got it right, yeah? Bit of everywhere?

Got yeahow.

And So because we are winding down the podcast and we're big fans of John and we've met John, I believe he was fond of us. He was Emily one of our idiots suggested for our bucket list the things we want to do before we wrap up the podcast for good. She said, John Laws sending you guys off one final time, and beautifully said, he put it on the bucket list. Yeah, we know one of his producers. He was one of our kind. Yes, he just queery us.

His name's we.

I said, do you reckon You could get a message from John saying farewell to us and our podcast, good luck with everything whatever, And he's like, yeah, leave it with me.

And I said, even if he says no, to hell with that. I don't want to be doing that.

Just record that that that'll be perfect. No.

No, he did more than that.

He actually recorded a message for us. But I just think he didn't realize who he was talking to. You'll soon understand why. I suspect that this is the message from John.

You're ready.

Yeah, we've not heard this. Jenna hasn't heard an let's go here we go okay.

Well, So as I hope you're happy in your retirements. I tried it once, so I didn't like it very much, so I came back to work. But I hope you enjoy your retirement. You know you'll find you will get bored. But you find a good woman or a good book, preferably the former, and just enjoy yourselves. But if you need any help, if you need any advice, not about the women, no, that's your problem, but if you need any advice about a good book to read. There's a

That's it.

Go to sleep, good night.

Thanks John, thank you. Well, we'll do our best to find a good wark.

We'll try, and a good book. And then he continued to give us book recommendations. He didn't remember us.

His producer said to me, I don't know where he got the retirement thing from. I never mentioned that you guys are retiring, and said you're ending your podcast twenty eight.

Went off retiring for God's sake, we're gay, man, we both have good men.

Oh we found a good woman in New Jenney, and that's true. What if this Fortunate Life by A B. Facing never heard of it?

I feel I have I feel like it's been around. I don't know if I really want to.

Yeah, can't be bothered with that chill.

Thank you forgetting that. That's very sweet.

That was very good.

It could have been for anyone. It didn't feel specific.

No, but that's okay.

That's okay.

We got it.

Tech off the bucket leet.

Congratulations, We got a message from John Laws.

Is it just me?

Boom boom boom. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. The performance of Mitchell Coombs Concerto will begin shortly. Please take your seats.

Boom boom, boom, whitch off your mobile phones.

Mobile phone switched off to the woman in a white corduroy, we can see your cleavage. Please have some decency for the theater. It is vile.

So this is there. We're finding out if iron how to play violin.

We tried to do these agents go on the podcast in case you forgot I got you a gorgeous saxophone to play, did outer.

And then you were going to get me a violin to play.

You got me one where there was no horse hair on the so I quite literally couldn't play it, And then we could have never got a round to it. This is back in like episode I think it was eighty three or something. Fucking age as a guy, Jack was the one that suggested this with the bucket least, can we finally get Cooms to play violin?

Well, today it's the time, Jack, you ask you shall receive a.

Erwin violins and Edgecliff for lending me this gorgeous fiddle. For those that can't remember because it was so fucking long ago. Do you want a little reminder of how Cherry went with playing the saxophone.

Yeah?

It so this was you trying to play I of the Tiger, which he boldly claimed if.

Given a saxophone, I could play the time, I could play it from memory.

Yeah, exactly, I hear it.

Every repetitive.

You know what.

Not as bad as my memory is telling me.

That I remembered, I actually agree with Jenn. I remember being.

Quite that in a saxophone testy pop like that. That was bizarre, bizarre.

It was like you thought it was a kazoo and if you just hummed the notes and blew, it would have.

Just sound fine, blowing in time.

Okay, Yes, I'm not good at sax after all these years.

Yeah, I've got me fiddle let's see if I can remember. I'm so excited, and I literally I don't reckon. I've touched a violin in nearly ten years, so.

It'll be interesting. And you promised you didn't practice at home?

No, okay, No, I didn't not that. I don't promise.

You promise good, Okay.

I was thinking something simple like twinkle twink a little star.

Yeah, I think i'd start there. Oh my god, this is a beautiful little fiddle chin rest. We're getting a little git, are we?

Oh it's the shoulder restoring. That's fine, it's been a while between turns. Oh wow, you right, Let's see if the fucking bow works on this big issue last time.

Now, can you quickly refresh our memory? When did you play in for how long?

I think I started getting lessons in year four, so when I was ten, and then I gave up lessons in like you're eleven or twelve.

And you used to play at the Antac.

Day Yeah, and the Christmas carols in gay Yes, all right, here's.

The bow moment. I'm going to have to tune it.

Obviously, this isn't the performance tuning noe.

Yeah, that's in tune. That is a bit on, sir, it's like the start of a musical. Do you know how I remember what notes to tune it to?

What?

Because there g d a good ah.

As still a bit on ABC?

Do that'll do?

Yeah?

That sounds did a good job.

So twrinkle trigger little sturrh is quite easy because there's not many fingers involved. It's just the open note.

Like oh okay, well that's cheating.

Oh fuck, I've never played a violin with long nails before. Whoa bit rusty?

Make sure that still sounds like a twinkle twinkle?

Whow you?

I was tightening the horse.

Yeah, I was tightening the bowl a bit. That's gorgeous anyway.

And will you be also performing I have the Tiger really?

No, I want Ie of the Tiger dead. That was not can you say bittersweet symphony?

No?

Probably not all the way up here?

Oh no, I'm actually blown away. Can I try?

I think I could do it, though, I think I'll talk to you know tw tw a little star again because I used to play it in the school orchestra, but I played the harmony bit.

So you have a guy. But I'm going to see if I can find on YouTube someone else playing the lead.

Jenne past that. Thank you. How does it work?

You put the shoulder rest on your shoulder and your chin on the chin rest. It's quite self explained.

That's such a protruding jawl like like that.

Also, see how your wrist is like leaning on the violin theism meant to touch it.

At all and you go up or well you.

The bow can go both ways.

I reckon this a.

Bit more pressure. Okay, why are you only going one way? You got up down up?

So sorry, hang on, how do you get the third note? Yeah, that's where you put a finger on. Did you not notice that I was putting my fingers sound?

No, I didn't.

I was looking at the other hand. Shit, all right, well, what about like a Halloween version?

Hang on, let me see if I can do that. I know what, I know what you mean?

You know what I mean? Like psycho?

Yeah, that would be all the way up here, that sort of thing.

That's horrific. Wow, fun instrument.

I want to see if I can do this. Twinkle took a little.

You need to google something.

Sorry, I'm trying to think of what keys.

Don't apologize. I'm taking a photo of this so I can post it to the socials.

That's g hang on Twinkle Twink a little star, how I wonder key of g on Earth you are?

Oh, look, some some ladies put it on you. Sue Garba has put it on YouTube.

It's got two hundred views, thanks sir.

I can play along with that.

Okay, I have to remember my part. I've got no sheet music. I'm just fucking.

Twinkle in G major in the third position that I would like you to practice. Okay, I'll see if I can join in.

Wow, wow in this ready altogether twin twinkle.

Shut up amount of time still and I nailed that, Ladies.

And gentlemen, Mitchell and I killed on the violin.

That was impressed, Mitchell.

That was good. I'm impressed.

Wow.

Maybe I should play it for our final episode.

Guys like Titanic.

Because we're doomed called again. It was like a hymn. Yeah, what did they perform? Maybe that's how final laying.

It's the boat.

Yeah, what was the song they performed?

What's it called? It's a himn song.

Yeah, it's like Google Google song.

That's ship.

Yeah.

I'll play this as the podcast if you rehearse IMP's yeah.

No, it's not bad. You could even you could even play it at home with Sean practice and then record it.

We could play it probably win because I've got to give this back.

Ye're true. I'm sure they like the plug JD helping me whatever it's called.

With Irwin violin, I got it.

We'll thank you to Erwin and and a violin. Mitchell, great performance.

He said to me, have you got good muscle memory? I was like, that's pretty much all I've got going for me. I don't know what the funk notes I just played on.

I remember where to put the fingers.

Hasn't that hasn't you never failed me?

Definitely a bit rusty though, that's all right? Wow, Wow, that's brilliant Mitchell.

Great performance.

I feel like I'm ready for fucking carols in the domain now.

Everyone I agree, that was beautiful. I don't really want okay, don't go to that with John Laws. I've got no musical ability. So for me, that is like dually performing Madison Square Garden.

I'm just what did John have to do with that?

Well, that coupled with the John Laws No, just a bit. I feel elated.

Three things off the buck list?

Tick tick tick nice, Yeah, got rid of u TI another day. That's good. Thank you, all right, let's go. Thanks for listening everyone.

Yes, we better get out of here. How are we going with the following. I'm looking at the bucket least of course. Oh another nap panpoint episode. We did that, Lana says life on cut Girls.

On the podcast.

Oh, I can message.

I thought we already established that.

We'll join a message right now if you want, I'll do it right now, Olivia.

Some more funny John Law's moments done. Yeah, Kate Langbrook one last time.

That's locked in. Not a tick yet, but she is coming on.

Kate is going to happen. I've asked for it.

Sweet. What about the other one?

Oh, I'll ask Laura as well? Okay, great, more responsive. Laura's very busy.

This is all off the cloud. Chatlet we can probably deal with later. We'll leave you to it, idiots. We'll talk to you again next week.

Yes, so we do.

No, No, Sorry, I don't don't know what that means to you come from no idea.

Thanks for listening. Five star review. If you don't mind, and we'll see you all suit talk to you.

Say bye bye?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

At welcome to add brief our secret segment on the end, we pretend that the show's done, but it is not. Jenna, would you like to try the viilin?

Yeah? I do.

Yeah, I just want to say that the show's not done. Hey, for those wondering, the show's not done?

No?

No, did you know Jennet that can I have the Yeah, the horse, that's quite important. Did you notice a lot of our idiots were saying, why the fuck didn't Jenna try the labor simulator everyone that we were doing to prove that women have a stronger threshold.

But I don't think you're the greatest example, because you're irogon. You would have freaked out as well with that thing.

A powerful woman.

I had it on the whole time, and I was fine.

Jennets every month, don't you Jenny?

True?

Yeah, that's true. Women, you know it's.

Fucking weird though.

Yeah, with that tense machine thing, I got up to number thirty and it killed you. Got up to number twenty four and they were like, nah, that's enough. Sean was like, for some reason, trying to prove a point.

He got up to fifty. Really, I was like, what are you doing? And he's sitting there so calmly like, no, it's fine. Jenne's kind of happen to go.

Oh, okay, it's medium.

So people think you're playing it like a piano. The hands scoops underneath like that. Yes, it's like a guitar crater, like you're holding it in the nape of a baby. Okay, so the bow, you hold it like this. I don't even realize that I was doing that by accent.

What holding it wrong?

No? I just knew how to hold the boat.

Oh, some goes under there, three fingers over and then the pinky like that because sometimes you need to use the pinky to flick it up.

Oh what does that do? Adds a bit of a bridle?

I can't remember.

Hang on, finger thumb through the middle and then the pinky just goes on top. You don't actually, Yeah, and you want to strike the boat between the fret board and the bridge.

Like we put Samantha Jones on or whatever that YouTube girl was, what's her name? Taylor?

A bit more pressure with the bow. Now, hang on, I'll come here.

This is hard to watch and listen to.

This amount of pressure.

Yeah, that's better.

And then you need to put one finger down for the next on that one. Yes, it's worse. One three at a time is ideal. Wait wait, wait, now you're saying that we don't hear for an hour.

We don't want the Yeah, we don't want the quality of the show to drop in the final episodes.

And then you need three fingers on the string G.

String, which is what Jenna's got underneath their pants.

That was fun, Thank you. I'll have a bag. So you know how I was doing one stroke per night?

Yeah, like.

You do like one stroke and then you need multiple notes. It sounds good, It's like, but that sort of thing. I've obviously not practice my skate out of practice choice.

You know what I was never able to do with the vibrato. You know how they're like hanging a moving because I would always instinctively shake my other hand with you just be like.

Yeah, let me try. I just I don't need the horse drink. So I'd like to play it like a little banjo. I just want to see if it's possible.

I mean, I guess it is real.

Mom had a kid.

There's some songs that require you to pizzicato it you know you play with a finger.

It's in my jaw, my jaw.

Okay, between the fret board and the bridge. Don't have the bow on the black yah. Oh my god. Well that was a noise. Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't listen to any more of that. Stop give it back.

I tried. Man, I'm like musical. I've got every other talent in the world. I can't have music as well.

Fun. Yeah, that was fine. That was very funn Jane. It wasn't a money on those Lesons, but still vaguely know what I'm doing. Oh, that was fun.

I think you should pick it up. I'm trying to Oh that's fun.

I'm trying to do I can't remember that. No, I can't do it.

Yeah, forget it, forget it.

You know I should have just gone out.

At a high. Yeah, it's a high.

I was better than this.

You can cut it now. It sounds like a goose is choking on like a cash Loraine's trying to get it out.

Another fucked up similly from you goose chugging on a cash rain.

All right, we should go.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better.

Today. That's all its two percent.

I wonder if the violin, if you could use if you could use my hair.

I've already said that, yeah, but incentive that I was pulling it real fucking tight in order to have that bow.

It's quite thin here you could.

Sorry, you guys also left the hanging. So this podcast, oh sorry, made at least two percent better today.

That's all just two percent, so we nice. Catch you back on Monday. We love you.

Thanks for listening to see then buy a buck the Bank?

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