#245: Knife Fight

Is it just really posted a couple of mitches. Yeah, delace yourself for the rude shocks of young adults. Please. You're in bed with a cup of bloody hall Licks by age tall licks and push you to slip. It's like a milk drink.

Sounds like the slur I've heard that whole licks.

And Mitchell coos, hello you Hello, how are you? Mitchell?

Oh, I've been better.

Yeah, you sent us a text saying I'm going to be late. I'll explain on the show. And then you walk in looking like a disheveled mess. I'm so sorry to say. And you wanted to explain what's happened.

Well, that's actually what my is. It just me is going to be explaining the drama. That's not why I look like a disheveled myth. Right, I've just been crook all a week and I'm.

Joking, by the way, lovely, Yeah, I feel I feel every November I get sick. I think it's just exhaustion from the year, and you can see the at the end of the tunnel, so your body just gives in on itself.

It's literally at the point where I've gotten a few dms from very kind hard to people saying why actual you posting anything on social media? And I'm like, because I can pull it together for the podcast, but the last week I've just been moping.

I feel awful. Yeah. Wait, so people notice that you don't post? Oh no one does know for me, no one ever asked me why I don't post? Not about you. No, it's not about You're right, So what you get people saying where are you?

I have this week?

Yeah?

Oh Mitchell.

And it's not a good thing to doctor Google some of the symptoms because according to doctor Google, I either have pneumonia or a collapsed lung. Uh huh, so may not make it through the episode.

When you walked in here, I did think, oh, he looks his left side looks clashed. I think it could be it. Doctor Google is the worst I made the mistake of even worse. And I do not recommend this to anyone.

Doctor aih so bad like chat GPT symptoms.

Yeah, no, I sent them a screenshot of my blood test results. Couldulate numbers and glubins and high pose and my pose and all these things I don't understand. So I sent a screenshot and I'm like, can you please interpret this? For me, and they did, and they're like, well this, well this in consideration with this is the beginning of many forms of cancer. I'm like, oh my god, so I freaked myself out, So do not do that. It's scary.

But you know what fucked me off about the doctor googling?

I did because I've got like this really persistent chesty cough. I'm going to call a spider spade flem lots of flame going on in my fucking world at the moment, and it basically just said, yeah, go see your GP. Is it just me on the fly? Why is that impossible?

Yeah, it's so hard.

I tried to book my usual doctor, Madeline. The next available appointment is in two saturdays time.

Yeah. I could be dead by then, you clude, yeah, given the collapse exactly.

Wait, do you have a log like your GP that you go to all the time. Yeah, she's my go to. But even outside of that, I checked that same clinic. None of them had any appointments anytime soon, all the ones around, and I'm like, God, it's at a point where it won't go away, whatever this thing is that I've got, and I want to go to a GP, but.

None of them are available.

I'm going to go to one of those bloody walking clinics and just schlep it there for fucking four hour, hoping to get traded.

A medical center. Nothing more frightening than the whales of a medical center. People just ah comeaning and crowing in the holes. And I just wanted to go there to get Panadaine fought and everyone is screaming and crying. Yeah, you go to my GP. I can give you my GP. He's very good. Is he booked down? No, I can get him with like a week's notice. A week now.

I'm thick, now, mature.

You never's gone of the days of the nineties where you could just walk up to your doctor's office and get in the point for the next day. Everyone's sick. We're all sick. Producer, what is your name?

Oh my god, price Keeper?

You know what? I just forget who what you're talking am?

No?

I know who you are.

It's our third wheel, prize Keeper Jenner. It's been that way for approximately four years. But it doesn't matter.

I have you know, I've got so many different character you know the other day on the show, I called producer Grace on my radio show, Prize Keeper Jenna live. I'd even look the same to you. I get it.

I've got producer Grace, prize keeper Jenna, producer Isabel. It's too many peas just call them by their name.

No, but I can't just call Jenna Jenna. You know, if it's established this long running bit.

Yeah, I think we did call it Jenna.

We do it one, did we?

Actually, let's try that for the rest of this episode.

It can't just be Jenner.

It's always her full title. Yeah, prize keeper Jenna.

All right, prize keeper, her.

Majesty a little bit different.

But why are you strass? So that's your gym. You're going to tell me later?

Oh, there was a drama. That's why I was running late today.

Are you going to tell us now?

Well, let's just say my Is it just me? If I had to do a hook, yeah, it would be that.

I feel you're going to be very proud of me. Maybe not you, but someone out there listening will be proud of me.

Oh you may direct eye contact with men, said you. So I'm assuming I thought it was me.

But then I thought about it and I was like, maybe not you. Actually you might not give a fuck o care. I can about your life.

Okay, well we'll see. Why don't you kick things up?

Okay, I've got any gym. We both do. Actually, that's how we start every episode. We have something we noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine, and I don't know Mitch's, and then prize keeper Jenna is just there.

I'm just nice.

You use the full title. Y, Why don't you call me Mitchell, that's my full name.

No, No, because Mitchell Kumbs is Mitchell. You'r minch sorry.

Price Peper generally pretty good at saying cherry and combs so that there's no confusion for the listener.

Yeah, you are very good at that too. Our guests are famously terrible. They're both just oh there's that collapse on hung Yeah, the other one just collapsed. I got my blood taken today and look can you see? Oh my god, I hate getting my blood taken, but because it just stings, I have.

A fear of it. Yeah.

There was a point in time when I had really bad cryings as ease in the thick of the worst of it, where I was getting daily blood tests. So I'm fine, Oh my god, I'm fine now. And you just jabbed me and I don't even flinch.

How did you get? How long were you in that like hellscape?

For I can't remember, which is weird because generally I have a good memory.

I wonder if on some level I've blocked it out. But yeah, like months, Oh yeah, I had like two terms off school. It was fantastic, really And what you were tired? Lethargic liquids?

Yeah, that was it, liquid seals.

And my parents thought that I just had like an eating disorder because I just lost my appetite all of a sudden, and I was a pig, so like, this is out of character, and if I did eat something, it would just go right through my instant diary. And so one time they were like at the kitchen table, they're like, right, Mitchell, we've noticed you're eating, so you're going to sit here and finish that spaghetti bolgonnaise, finish it before our eyes, and you're not leaving until it's completely done.

And I was crooked as a dog and they were like, shit, we shouldn't have done that. We got to look into this.

And then there was months where there was no diagnosis.

Oh and you would have been in Bogan Gate and trying to get it like a gastroineurologist. I'm sure who would endo chronologists? Yeah, got a bloody orange for that.

Oh.

Now, I can't remember what I was doing recently, but I tried to fill out. I think one of my doctors told me, oh, because you've got crones, is easier and entitled to a discount on a certain medication.

I can't remember which one was. But they wouldn't believe me when I said I had crimes. They were like, prove it. I was like, you're right, I'd never just got a certificate that says I had it.

Oh yeah, you also could get rebates, and you could even probably get a disability parking permit.

I wouldn't push it that farsion. I've been in remission for like eight or nine years, so I don't know if i'd push that.

They caught remission. Well, been fine for ages remission, you.

Could come back. You never know that parking spot, you never know, you know.

In America, the disabled toilets, a lot of them have lots, so them me and you get given a key or a pass in America if you like have crones, or if you need to use a disabled like bathroom it's a universal key, but in Australia they're just anyone can walk in.

Well, they gave me the Crones Collidis Foundation. They gave me a pooh pass it. Literally it was just a car that said can't wait. And then there's a little fine print that says I have Crones disease. I'm paraphrasing, but it said I might ship my guts right here right now.

I don't think I would have said that.

Basically, if you're in a pinch and you need a tot, surely any business would have a heart and be like, yeah, yeah, go at the back use of staff tool.

I never had to use it.

Do you have it on here?

No?

Actually I probably do in my old wallet at home. You can't wait, car, you're going to ship my decks? Yeah, It's like you'd have to be really desperate.

And also what a dog of a person would say, No, one hundred not legally binding this card?

Yeah yeah, but I feel like some people would be like I have to ask the manager.

Oh yeah, some young child, Yeah exactly. You know what happened to me the other day. This is mortifying. I am getting a lot of undergoing a lot of tests at the moment. I think I've got some sort of autoimmune disease. Who knows, I don't know where I'm at with me.

I'm trying to take the thunder off my fucking collapsed lung. No, I'm not, I'm not, but you know, take beds, so who's going to die for? Don't take bets.

I've already said that I might not last the episode.

Okay, well I'll last the episodes.

Collapse lungs.

I was born with a collapse lung.

But he hasn't there.

I already have one one an't me No, and my GP already he's like diary.

I have no pity for your crones. I spoke about your crones and asked leading questions because I was very interesting and I was heartbroken to hear about remission and no, I know, I know, but like to think that you're in remission means it could just a period any time one liquid shit could lead to months of pain. I'm I'm doing. I can't good good. I want you to know that's genuine.

It just so happens that a crone's friendly diet, like a diet that would be intended not to set off any relapse, is also quite bottom friendly.

So yeah, it works, it says so mine. My doctor was like, we need you, Mitch to do a twenty four hour urine test.

And I was like, oh, and she goes you piss the whole time constantly.

Go to work. No, No, they gave you like a like a big AM, like a two liter big am, or like a like a chopcking and oak milk and they give it to you with a funnel. So she says, every WII from when you wake up one morning to when you wake up the next morning has to be collected every drop.

Don't tell me you have to bring the pissed carton to work.

Well, I'm like, I don't want to bring it into the office, so I waited for the weekend. Anyway, Steven's like, you want to go shopping? Like get out. I'm like cool. He's like, oh, you're gonna have to bring the piss juke to Westfield, oh Haddington fancy shops.

And we were walking and I'm not actually a cardboard car and that I'm picturing run No, it's a big milk jug orange juice.

I was picturing, you said, big gam and I'm thinking the cardboard thing. I'm like that could leak.

No, it's not, No, it's not, but it is just like an orange juice jug. AnyWho. We I'm looking to buy a house, so I'm like, oh, we're walking down the back streets of Paddington. So I'm like, well, let's go through the suburban streets. So we're walking and then it really hit me I needed to week and I was like, oh shit, God, I've got to go. And the wee jug was in the boot of a car like five kilometers away, and he's like, well, I've got

I hope he's not planning to use that bottle again, so he goes, well, you need to find someone not using the bottle again.

It was a mount frank. So I finished it and then I was looking for the bushes. But then like this rich Paddington family to walk by with it, so I had to turn away. Then another family walked by.

I'm like shit, but wait, how would the doctors have known if you'd missed one piss in the day. Well they wouldn't, but I guess his piss could hold the key to while you're like, shit, So I need this p to be collected.

So I pissed the bottle in the street photo at It's a bit yellow, isn't it.

That's too many vitamins, mate, And yeah, I.

Take a lot of and frothy, which I think is not a good sign.

That is okay? I feel ill?

Can you get back to your ridge and plenty th? I feel yeah, you haven't need of meat? Shall I do you mind? Shall I jump in?

Yeah?

You go, Bradley, count me in?

Is it just me?

The QR code menus need to go?

No?

Oh?

Why okay, let me tell you why. I think they're disgusting.

Disgusting.

They are useless. There is no magic in a QR code menu. I want to sit there and guess I want to sit like this, legs crossed like that, and I want to have a little glass of water alright, and I want to hold the menu like this in my lap, like I'm a Parisian actress sitting in the streets reading my menu, going oh the oh, turn the page. Oh and the dessert menu. Oh they've got so you want to be a hoity toity fancy diner. I get it. No, But if I want to go to if a portho,

I'm just thinking, like a beer garden, a pub. You don't want to wander all the fuck away back in to order retreat, so you can just get one to the table.

Now.

If we're talking convenience, you know you've got me. If i've got a walk far, yeah, I'll do a QR code. But I'm talking restaurants, not pubs.

Yeah.

See, I don't really frequent fancy restaurants, so yeah, not even fancy. I would have assumed that there'd be weight staff involved. You'd just like to be so true, you'd like to have some sort of When I was in.

Melbourne, Ry, i went to a Japanese restaurant and they had waiters around, and they came to me and was like, you can order and view the menu the QR coat.

Well, what the fuck are you doing?

Ah?

They were doubling up.

Yeah, there were like ten of them just standing around to tell everyone to use the QR coat.

I think the QR codes are perfect in a place where you have to get up to order anyway, but if there's someone if you're at a place where there's a waiter involved in and they come in take the order, I'm happy with that too. I'm not like ill I want to avoid talking to people. Let's use the QR code. Yeah, but it can be fun striking up a chat with the waiter. But if it's a place where they don't offer that, I'm happy to say sat. Yeah.

But there's also an element of I'm on my phone a lot. I'm on my phone at home. If I order a Breat's, I'm on my phone and then I'm waiting for it to come. I sit on my phone. So I'm at a restaurant. I'd like to put it down, and I don't want to pick it up, but I don't want to be tempted that you can scroll and your watch instead. I get it. Oh, I've got a new addition, by the way, I've got a smart ring.

What fuck yourself in the face?

Why how is it smart?

It's a smarter It's the Oral ring. I just got the orring. Well, that's the name of the brand, and it tells you when you wake up how well you're what your score out of one hundred is going to be for the day. So mine today is ninety three and I got a little crown ring. Know that it does your blood pressure, blood oxygen, your blood sugar and not blood. I don't even know what it does exactly, So do you have to charge it or what?

It has?

An eight day battery life? Not getting paid?

And then how do you change the battery on it?

You know, it just charges wirelessly a little while's time? Yees? So I had really good sleep, two hours and twenty seven of RAM, one hour forty four of deep sleep.

But doesn't your watch do the exact same thing everything?

Yeah?

Why the fuck do you need a ring for the art?

I don't, Yeah, you really don't. And I'm currently fighting with him because they sent me to accidentally a oh and they want the other one back. Yeah, And they said we'll send you a PayPal link so you can process the sale. And I've ignored them, so they've called me. They want their.

Burning bridges here, there and everywhere. First out therapist, she told the standing payments.

She told me I was depressed, and I don't go to a therapist to be told I'm depressed. What do you going for to be told that I'm handsome? And successful. All I ever wanted from therapy was Mitch, you don't need to be here. That's nothing I can do for you.

Our time together with Dan totally, that's I need your help.

That's how her picture therapy going. But strangely enough, is not how it works.

I think I've ever gotten to that point with the therapist where they're like, no, no, you don't need me anymore.

They've never gotten to that point. They're all money hungry like you.

I'm not money hungry, bitch.

Wow, you just call me a bitch.

I didn't know I'm being gasolt. No, I'm not gas lighting. You know the feeling, don't you?

I do? I do?

It's ghasly, it hurt.

No, let's not do it.

Maybe we'll be doing it all along. Imagine if we're not ending the podcast, and that was ultimate gas lighting, Janet, what about.

If you just weren't publishing any podcast.

You don't listen, so you've never checked that the episodes are out there.

Yeah, I've cheaked, but I don't actually actively listen.

You think figured it out for five years. It's the Truman shower. We've been paid.

This is actually like her, make a wish. She's terminal, and she dying wishes to host the podcast.

So we do it every week. I love people.

Every jury idiot is paid.

Her dying wishes to host a podcast. Yet where the hosts we had care, of course, for legal purposes, we have to put you on. This is all a set, Jenny, and Mamma's behind all of her.

You're listening to?

Is it just me?

The rude shocks of young adulthood? Now, I don't mean to brag, but fuck, I'm killing it. Yeah, I'll support you in that. Sure, you're doing very well because you know how.

We've got the eton bucket list. Yeah, I've got Wednesday's episode number two forty six. I'm chicking three things at once on the day. Yeah, my god, that's right.

Not only I think someone asked for another talkback things.

Easy, Yep, that's fine.

We're doing We've we've got some more classic talk back radio bullshit from John Laws?

Who else? John Laws.

One of the challenges that someone put on our bucket list was get a farewell message from John Law's.

Ask and you shall receive.

Wait, I've got it? What really? You got a message from John? Oh? I did?

Did?

I'm saving it for Wednesdays. But I have a farewell message from John Law's the talk back king him fucking.

Self he resigned. Do you mean his farewell message to his audience?

No, like a message for us.

Does he even know who we are?

Well, yeah, we've met him, remember we have met Yeah, I met him.

He liked you, Jenna.

So that's two things tick tick. And then also on Wednesday, I will be doing a violin recital. Oh my god, after all this.

Time, it's finally happened.

Have you been rehearsing. No? I have not. Actually that doesn't instill much hope. You should. Literally.

The guy that I picked it up from shout out to a Irwin violins in Edgecliff.

He lent me one and his name's Allen, and he goes now because I told him what it was all about, he goes nowaday you we even think about opening this open it for the first time on the podcast.

No cheating.

It needs to be authentic, not like a reality shows these days.

No.

I was like, okay, sure does he sell other instruments, No, just violins and he does repairs and shit.

But he was happy to lend me one. He said, they do not practice.

Yeah. So we'll be doing my recital on Wednesday. I think I know what's in there. Oh my god.

Imagine because it wasn't a violin, it's a banjo or some ship.

Imagine if he's deeply homophobic. It was just gunpowder just exploded. All right, Well that's exciting, Buckley, Yes we have that's you.

I've burned through that bitch before we even get to the We're have to do some revisions. I will say the countdowns on this is two forty five this episode. The last one is to fifty five ten. Oh my god, guys, the final final ten.

That's exciting, come on, countdown.

Well, that's what we should think about. What's going to be the last song that we play? Like the song we play to end the episode?

Do we play a song or do I need to?

It's a special occasion.

I think our voices started it. Our voices need to finish.

But I don't want it to be the normal theme song that we have, an emotional song that will see us out. Okay, why did the idiots send in some recommendations for songs? You guys get thinking too, Yeah, okay, what song should we end up with?

We've got fucking ages until we have to deal with it. You know, I can't think and speak. Don't make me think you've.

Not been able to demonstrate your ability to do that ever, No, I know, I know, all right?

Do you have a nyjym? Oh my word, I do.

I'm ready for this, Bradley.

It just me. It's being able to change your own tire the best life skill you could possibly have.

Oh is that the stress? That's what it was?

Change a tire?

Did This isn't the first time, is it?

No?

It's no.

Maybe I should stop clipping guards.

Anyway, I messaged you guys and I said, there's been an incident and running late. I'll save it for the pod. So when I went down to my car in the garage of my apartment, I was like, fuck me, that back tire is flat as all fuck. So first stop was the servo. Only in the last month I've learned how to put air in that thing, right, Yeah, yeah, of course that's quite handy actually as well. So I put the little nozzle thing on the tire and it was going It was not getting any higher, it wasn't

I allowed myself ten second of ah, fuck my life, Yeah fuck this. But then country kid kicked in. I was like, R, you don't get jobs done by looking at him. Let's get this tire, change off hot.

Despair on you and you haven't filled many things in your life either, Like you're not really you, Like you're not really the filler. What does that mean? Well, would Sew not normally be the one to get it out and fill it?

It?

Don't make me laugh?

Are you kidding?

I thought, sure, as a man, I should change his tire before I believe that because he would freaks out. Really, yes, that's why I'm saying this is the best skill ever.

I remember my dad trying to teach me how to change a tire because he was all like, Mitch, pay attention, you'll need this skill one day, and I was like off with the fairies, not paying attention, of course, And so one time I had to change my tire and it was like some shit out of a movie because it was raining. So I'm out there in the rain watching YouTube tutorials because I wasn't listening to Dad and it was like the fucking notebook. I'm being like, why

I just got the job done. The spear is on the back here I am. It did fuck my nail polish a little bit, which is upsetting, but it's fine.

I'm here and just ready for the Wicked premiere. By the looks of it, this was a trial run.

I'm getting rid of this. I've got a different shade of polish because someone said to me the other day, I like you yellow nails.

They're meant to be green. It is a little pool yellow.

Yeah, it a bit baby shit here, yeah yeah, yeah, so I've got a deeper green anyway, I digres.

I'm very proud of myself.

Well done.

I was having a ship day and for some reason, the smugness and pride I felt after just conquering that task, I was like, shit, yeah, I.

Get way better now, Oh good on you. I'm glad.

Grease all over my hands when I first came in. But I just got it done, didn't I.

It's a bit of a mindset thing, isn't it. Those things?

Yeah, it's it's like, fuck me, let's not piss about. Let's just get it done. Because I was thinking, do I drive it home from the servo while it's flat and just grab Seawn's keys, sealed his car, and I'm like, no, no, don't delay it.

Just get the fucking job done. Look at me. I filmed it, show me. Oh my god. Oh you're jumping on the jack. He's so conteet these days.

Wow, I look at you. God, I'm just sick of being so capable.

Yeah.

It's exhausting.

Makes everyone else look horrible, doesn't it.

You know, when I first met Stephen, i'd drive my car around and then he'd be in the passenger seat and there was a flood or there was horrific rain, and I drove through a puddle that had a rock in it and I didn't realize and it scraped like there must have been like one sheet of metal under my car barely to keep all the guts in, and that was hanging down and it was just like a like when you get an aluminium can. You kind of

But also that sounds easier said than done, like changing a tie, putting the spear, one's pretty straightforward.

There's dangling metal. I feel like that's where you engage a profresh.

Yes, I was going to. Stephen takes his top off. This is in the very early days knowing each other. Gets on like a skateboard in my garage, rolls underneath. The car is tiny, so he slip slips right under the crack and he had a little saw and cut it off and has fixed the car. Get the saw in my garage. We've got all these tools. But he and I remember thinking like what a man?

What a man?

Well, that just goes the show here. You were thinking that Sean, we're going to be my night and shining are. But because you and him are the men in your relationship.

Bullship bottoms here to save the world. Ye screwed without us?

Justin justice, just in the bottom, justice the bottom.

Pardon the pun, but we get ship done.

Nice. That's enough of these two. Now let's hear and is it just you? Yeah, you can be one of our very final callers on the show with your is just you?

How many totally tope bags do you have left?

Price Keep? Jenna?

I don't know, I haven't checked. Maybe like six, five?

Okay, that'll cover, we'll cover us. Yeah, that's enough.

Has Jennet told you about and we are like to w as Price Keeper down? I apologies told you about. I don't even know if we allowed to talk about it. What the umbrellas? What do you mean she told me? I fucking ordered them? Nobe how she told you the issue?

What?

What's the issue? They're huge?

Shit, I can't send them.

On the podcast a while ago talking about umbrellas and we were joking, we'll make you accustomed to umbrella and I was like, fuck it, we'll do it.

And so we got like five, No, we got.

A lot more than that. And they came in that biggest boxes I've ever seen, Mitchell.

They're like a meter at all about this time we want yeay, Jenna's going to go find one and well we'll chat to a listener in the meantime. They're huge. This is because of the caller Emmy and.

So price keeper Jenna gives a prize to anyone that comes on the podcast for this. It's either a totally tape bag. I thought it would be umbrellas as well, but can she literally not send them?

No, they're too big, although they get sent to it. The other day, I'm prepping for my radio show. I'm about to go on. He Mitch, what am I to do with this? And holds an umbrella out and it's about a meter and we everyone in the office kind of got involved. She can just buy one of those, Well, we can buy it. I'm a kidiot like one.

Of those posters.

Yes correct, yeah, correct, And she can do ship it doesn't matter.

But she why are we so good at problem solving compared to her?

I said to her department. She goes, where do I even get those? For fuck sake? And I said, we'll give you the card details, just order a bunch. Okay, I'm busy, That's what she said. What Yeah, So anyway, that is Jennings issue. I know, God, And she's gone down to get the umbrellas. Should we get our caller. I just don't want her to interrupt the caller. No, you're right, you're right. I agree. Who are we calling? By the way, it's Claudia. Lord's where she's calling from.

It's like me when I had fucking cranes ate that.

If your name is Tan, your mum would Satan.

Eight.

She's emerging high, ten of them. Ten get to the microphone. They're big, admitsied. Okay, it's not like a beach umbrella. It's not that. It's probably a meter and a half flong.

That's not a meter and a half. That's that's over a meter, but it's definitely not a whole half.

Yeah, a meter and a quarter.

Oh so this is sturdy.

I've actually seen this.

It's ten under my desk, and I can't sit at my desk anymore because it's fine.

This is good quality. It is right. So it's it's a blue expense. It's a blue and white gym limited edition umbrella, and it's in our final ten episodes.

Don't have those fucking cylinder things. You can then post not this big. Oh, surely there'd be some that big when I can, because I looked.

And they only come to like to there, that's very quarters of it.

Alright, I'll find the specs of the umbrellas from where I ordered, and then I'll find a fucking tube.

It'll fit, I'll thought it. Okay, come on, I love no argument.

Thank thank you. I'm calling Claudia.

Okay, please do.

I feel like it's an easy problem to solve to.

It's causingly stress.

Hello, Laudia's and Jenna.

Underwater or something?

No, sorry, hold on, if you're on speaker phone, can you turn it off?

I'm on the phone. I took my.

Yeah, that's better, hand phone to your head.

Oh this is so exciting.

How long have you listened to us, Cordia?

Probably a year after you started. I finally caught on, and then I went back in and listened to everything I missed, and oh that's amazing. Honestly, once you guys are gone, I'm just going to have to start from the start again.

Saying that I could never do that with a podcast I listened to.

No, that's like a massive compliment because I would have to really fucking love a podcast to do that.

To go back and listen like I do.

I've said it in the comments on your Facebook page, like I look so forward to it every every week, even when you take like your last break you took. I told my husband like how much I missed you?

Guys?

I don't even know in real life.

I hate fucking people's routines if they're so used to every Monday Wednesday and being like, oh what bloody hell now what?

I'm so sorry? Yeah, I feel bad.

I know you guys did it for like five years for free, Like, well more can we ask for?

We did make a lot of billions in that five years, so that's just that's kind of gone to ask cordiat. You are in where you're Victoria Regional?

Yes?

Where be oh where?

Oh?

I love a fuck? Are both of those places?

Isn't there like a wildlife animals thing there?

Yes?

Where Bazoo the Safari Safari to a.

Think that's cool.

I believe you've got any and Bradley's going to count you and then you hit us with you your thoughts. Okay, okay, thank you? Is it just me?

Does it infuriate you when you're in a car park and the person in front of you that's reverse parking?

Ah, right, as opposed to what like going no in firse all right, all right, I.

Have never thought that to be easier.

No mean no, it was in reversing in, I think it's easier like fuck, done a cherry, Claudia, Then I've done a cheery like Claudia says, prefer to nose in and then reverse out like a normal person.

No reverse in, because then you just drive out. It's easier.

But then I find the reversing into the spot half.

Exactly like people say the saving time when they have to leave, but you're using that time to reverse in anyway, So what's like it's the same thing, except you're going along and then suddenly you're start there for five minutes while they're slowly back into the spot.

And because when you reverse out, you've got all this space either side of you, right, but when you reverse in you've got to be real precise because you might clip some bastard.

Well you know what annoys me when I do a grocery shop, which is very rare these days, and I reverse into a parking spot and it's up against a brick like you know wall, and then you try to put your groceries in and you can't open your fucking boot or you can't get the trolley around. So nosing it in sometimes is the best way.

To go, always the best way to guard.

What about parallel parking Cordia, does that kind of paralyze you Freezier?

No, because like that's necessary, But when you're like in a busy parking lot, just knows it in like what time are you saving? But I spoke to my friend and fellow idiots. I got it onto the podcast my friend Linda, and she insisted that no, it's safer, it's safer, and I get it, but it still pisses me.

I have it's safer.

She says that when she reverses into the spot, when she goes out nose first, she can see everything, So she says, I'm not going to knock someone over.

What does she just have blackened out rear windows little see where you're going. If you reverse out, you can just get more precise aim if you're nosing in because you can see where your bloody going.

You know what I did my driving test. I remember I was terrified because I had the dragon lady and she said, on the test, you'll either be asked to do a three point turn or a reverse parallel park. Are you scared of the reverse parallel?

No?

No, I love a reverse parallel I've got a down part. I'm quite excellent at them. Have to say you line up your mirror and then it's from there. It's easiest piss. Did you see Rapaul posted on TikTok. Now he's teaching kids how to reverse parallel park. I've got all these twinks following me. I'm going to teach them some good. So he's teaching people how to like sell holes in their jackets, how to reverse parallel park, how to change a tire?

No, yea your guy? Yeah, I agree, it's something necessary that everyone should know.

You and RuPaul, I've always thought of you two of the great bottoms. Saudia.

Can you change your tire down then a tie a tire? Yes?

Yeah.

My dad kind of forced us to learn. All those things were annoying at the time.

But I'm glad I have a dad thing beneficial, very benefits. Have ever even asked, do you know how teachery? No, far, I don't know how to change a tire, but I pay for an RMA.

I didn't have time for that.

If they do take a while, don't they anyway, Claudia, I am on your side.

Thank you everyone. I say it to you like I really had to explain to me why it's necessary. But I don't think it is. I've been driving for over twenty years and I've never like knocked someone over backing out of a party clean.

I've done a few chimes, but you know, to keep driving you never know the results. Thank you message Price Keeper and you'll get something. Yes.

Oh well, thank you so much for all these wonderful episodes and all the best of the future amazing podcast. Seriously, guys, I don't think how you know how much it means to so many of us. So thank you so much.

Thanks, thank you so much. That means a lot.

Thank you.

I really love talking to you. Just highlight. I think it's a highlight of my whole.

Year, to be honest, Price, Sorry, I'm being too generous.

Love your clud Love you guys, Thank you so much for calling.

Thank you. I loved her. God I love hearing from them too.

Damn it is it going to be a sub story every week?

Well, I don't mind. We're not we're not dying. We're going to be around that.

You can consume in many other ways, all sick. But when the headphone's broken or it's my microphone broken, now we can hear. We're good, okay, all of a sudden, couldn't hear a thing.

Imagine if you weren't on this whole show. I'm like, that doesn't matter, that would fuck me right, I'm where.

That's why I tell you when you didn't record my mic that time.

No, I don't.

I don't either.

Yeah, that didn't happen. I don't know how it happened. It's possible in that studio, because it's one that's not possible.

It was actually quite miraculous. It wasn't your error. It was a studio fault. But Jenna's mike just wasn't recording the whole time, and so we had to record a message at the start of the episode, didn't We been like it was there. You'll hear her in the background, but I've had to cut every time she spoke. You can hear the echo of her laughing.

I don't remember that. Yeah, and it only shaved about thirty seconds off the episode before we end. Lifelin have asked us for you to make a statement in regarding the nap Penfold episode Fuck.

I forgot to say price keep it dinner now clear the air because people are very mad at that penfold. She's getting death threats. She's a very busy woman. She wakes up at three am.

Al idiots love you prize keeper Jenna so much that they have tried to tackle Matt down in the street. Can you please address the press.

You know what, It's fine, Nat and I are a good you know this is the problem.

It's no bad to the bit too much like you and everyone thinks it's real. Yeah, I don't hate Oscar. I'll finally, I'll admit it. We've had sex. That's why there's tension.

We'll finally a minute, no no, no.

God.

Anyway, that was the mid delay, the morning sex she was talking about in the hole.

It was Jenna's prize keeper, Jenna's price keeping hole.

There you go, there's no beef. They were both like laughing at each other's dabs.

Yeah, the whole time. It's all in good fun.

It's all in good fun.

Thank you for sticking up for our Jenne. It's very sweet. I appreciate it.

Anyway, Before we go, don't forget if you like Claudia, I would like to come on the podcast with and is it just me of your own? You can DM a couple of minut or whatever pops to your mind, texted to what's on this number?

A far two to nine a Tues zero two to nine. I had Oscar singing like that when we did it. Oh my god, you founded just like that in the bedroom. You sure, how many more times you have in here? How many more rounds? He went two? So we did it two hundred and two times. That's crazy.

Smiled that you did it two hundred and two times.

Yeah, should we go? Yeah, let's do it. Thank you so listening idiots five star review. May as well if you've never done one of these five years of listening to us, we fucking deserve it.

You may.

And we'll see you in a couple of days.

Yep, talk to your say bye bye bah.

Thank Is it just free?

Buy a couple of images. Make sure you get to followed on your podcast.

Welcome to add brief our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but then we keep talking. Shit, nothing's planned. It's people with a day day having a day brief.

That's how it works. Now, I don't want to bring up your nail polish earlier. But I did assumance for the Wicked premiere.

Yes, Like I said, it was a test run because I wanted to, because the theme is pink goes Good with Green. So I've got mostly green nails and then a couple of pink ones.

Theme. Yeah, I thought the theme was cocktail.

Yeah, but I think it said somewhere on the invice pink goes Good with green.

Because I'm are you it at the State THEE? Is it where you're going? Yeah? Yeah, it's the Wicked movie premiere. We should clarify. Yeah, sorry, Alphabe and now alphabet Glenn Dock.

But yeah, I got a different one. I was actually in a fucking chemists warehouse and I saw OPI doing a Wicked collab.

So I was like, well, a shade of green ie because it's assuming, as you said.

What was it?

Baby shit? Pooh? Yes? Not no, it's not nice.

No. Can I show you the dumbest fucking thing I saw the other day? So I follow Maggie's Rescue that's like the Shelter Adopted Isabella from.

Yeah.

I follow them on Instagram and every so often they'll put up I guess an ad for any cats or dogs that they've got up for grabs, and they put up a gorgeous little kitten. But I don't know what kind of cruel fuck decides to name a cat this and then abandoned it like it's not a very appealing name. Ready, I'm going to show you the Instagram post.

That's where my cat were.

Knife Fight. Adopt knife Fight, I want knife Fight.

I didn't even think you could hyphenate names like that.

But surely the shelter would be like, fucking it's a black cat, facatas that's already we struggled with superstition. They told me that that people they struggle to get rid of Isabella because people are superstitious about black cats.

Let alone. One called knife Fight the.

Knife they referred to it. It says meet now, handsome boy knife Fight or knife as we like to call him.

They are not much better.

But why don't they just go with knifey. It doesn't have a birth certificate with knife Fight on.

He misses his gorgeous sister Molotov cocktail. He was adopted earlier in the week.

I my rename Isabella unprovoked terror attack.

That's fantastic for sure. Of course you can rename Connie chemical warfare. That's quite kill me, Kim, that's cute.

It's go it on Instagram, clog, keep scrolling like I was doing in the bathrooms when I had crying.

At the course many times a day after that. Why are they keeping these names?

Pretzel, that's cute, that's in the parsley. These are all relatively normal compared to fucking knife fight. Yeah, tricks, tricks, clear light, Yeah.

These are all normal.

I prefer knife fight. Person.

You would would Connie welcome a second cat into the home? Prize keeper, I don't care.

I'm getting knife fight.

Well, I feel they might struggle to find a home for knife fight.

They should just rename it. Even knife is better than knife fight.

But I don't understand, like, did someone surrender the cat and say it's name's knife fight and I prefer you to honor.

That, or did the fucking shelter call it knife fight.

It's a good question.

Because usually the shelter names.

Because conn Connie, Isabella came with Isabella, yeah, and Connie came with Connie.

You know, children were named Bonnie, Ronnie and Donnie.

Oh, forgot this frist Jenna were they in bread. I've seen that cat. The way it behaves, you'd think it is. What does the caption say? Is that like, oh, known for his sharp claws and you know, brutal attack. Don't let his tough name for you. Though he might have been named for his intense play style. Nifee is actually super gentle at hearts right. Something maued his siblings to death? Is that what I'm hearing?

He absolutely loves human companionship and it's always up for one on one playtime. Blah blah blah, especially when there's a dangling string toy involved.

Yeah, or a knife. What's this fucking thing capable of?

Fuck? All right now, Mitchell, you know how I love technology.

You won't listen fuck anyway I did, But I feel.

Like expressed knife fight. There's a new update on the iPhone that you will love. It's actually sad that it's happening now because we're at the end of this podcast, but you know we're not. But we're closed. This feature would have really what is it? If your ass? Many times? Ready?

So call me okay, Mitchell Cherry, Yeah, I'm familiar in case you wonder. Here we go, Okay calling Look at this a new I kind of appears at the top left.

I answer it. Put your phone on speakerphone. I'm gonna press this button and look what happens.

This call will be recorded.

Oh, the whole thing is now recorded. This whole phone call call is recorded. So where does it go after that? You say, Mitchell, bye bye? We hang up. It gets safe to notes and AI automatically gives you a transcript like it's subtitles on a play.

So it doesn't record the it does.

Oh the whole thing is.

And where does it go after that?

You Mitchell, why You've got an important meeting with a boss and you want You're kind of person that gets flustered.

It'd be much better if it didn't lag. Your call is being recorded.

No, no, I know. That's how you get receipts.

Imagine if they told you on every app your messages have been screenshotted and sent to the girly s group chat.

I know, but I think because of I think legally you can't record someone's voice about consent legally, I know. I just think. I just think it's very handy.

I'm sure it might come in handy one day. But I've been fine without that feature of my whole life.

Yeah, probably fine. It's more so if you want to record a phone call with me or I if we want to do an podcast episode, there was purely a phone call conversation. Technically we could have a full one hour chat on the phone and then record it and post it. Is that not insane?

At that time as like an experiment, we were saying that we should do a whole podcast episode that's just voice messages back and forth. Yeah, and then we screen record us playing each voice message that. I'm glad we never did that and that's not going on the bloody buck left. I don't think it would be enjoyable because the pausing and that happened it had custody interrupted.

True, which we all know who the culprit is. There price ja yea mother of knife attack? Yes, do you remember attack? I fight fight? Sorry knife attack.

It's because that's just one side and only one person has a knife, but a knife in the game.

What is a knife fight like.

Knights and whatnot?

But that's a sword fighter is like what the British boys do. Ship that happened to prison or like a shanking situation. I hate nives, I hate the idea of being stabbed. I think it's awful.

Yah.

Would you rather be stabbed or shot?

Shot?

Oh?

Well, I think stabs easier to heal. I think a shot a shot that kind of explodes in you. Depends where you're stabbed or shot. I think I'd rather be stabbed.

I think because the adrenaline as well. You wouldn't feel it.

Is it true?

But like if you've been stabbed, it depends about leaving the knife in. No, just horrible, Just like a gash.

If you're meant to leave it in, Hey, you're meant to leave it in if it goes in.

That's what I mean. But imagine trying to manove yourself in an ambulance with a fucking knife in your back.

Imagine. I think if you're going to kill someone, you don't go for the bag. It's a lot of sine you go for there.

But maybe you're trying to teach them a lesson, You're not trying to kill them.

Dina, you got, idiot, and everyone knows that you forgot.

Sorry, thank you, thank you. You go for the neck creep, the jugular terrific.

We hope this podcast two percent better today. That's all just two percent, so we do. We'll catch you back on Wednesday.

But my violin recitement, I can't wait. Final ten have begun. The podcast is almost over. Oh yeah, not yet, all right, see soon, talk to you in a couple of days.

By bye bye.

Is It's just Me a podcast by a couple of meches.

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