#228: Kath & Kim (Mitches Version) with Art Simone

This is.

Just real, hosted a couple of mitches. Brace yourself for the rude shocks of young adults. Oh please, you're in bed with a cup of bloody hall Licks by a hall Licks and push you to slip. It's like a milk drink.

Sounds like the slur I've heard that Whole Licks.

And Mitchell coos. How are you? Oh my god, are you across the methampheta means that the children in New Zealand have all eaten I can't say I am, Oh my god, the pineapple oly meth. Oh are you not across it? Price keeper Jenner, I've got a brand super riw. I'm across that A You're my first suspect. Yeah, you're not across your story. It's hilarious and no one at the time of recording has perished.

You've asked me three times if I'm across it, and I've said no.

Oh sorry sorry. In New Zealand, a bunch of pineapple olies have been distributed to families right.

Oh, like the ones in the black Alan's assorted mix or whatever.

Correct. Oh, yeah, it was distributed by a food bank, right for like people disadvantaged families anyway, they were meth disguised as candy. What it was crystal meth.

Well, like someone was disguising it.

So they disguising candy and it got accidentally filtered into the main dose of candy.

Get this.

Per lolly. There was three hundred doses of the usual dose of meth. It was a concentrated amount. One lolly was three hundred doses. So far people are in hospital because someone said we tasted it. It was sour, but I kept going. Then I felt dizzy. One child said child, and it was meth meth. Everyone's okay, but it was.

Well wait, so this is like a taffy kind of lolly. It's a hard lolly with the wrapper on it. Gotcha like a cough drop.

Yeah, but it's meant to be pineapple flavored, but it's crystal meth.

I don't know what they're supposed to look like, the pinepp ones, because that's just a white frickin' taffy thing. Yeah, like, that's not a pine apple.

They spat it out straight away. We had three hospitalizations. Everyone's been sent home.

So nobody actually ingested the whole thing.

No, someone said a parent tasted it, spat it out. Then they had a racing heart because they were high on men.

Oh god, that's horrible. They could actually be Did you bring this up? What a cheery start to the episode. It's all everyone's talking about the crystal med candy. But how are they supposed to distribute that? If it's the equivalent of three hundred doses? They would melt it down or chop it up or I don't know, it's just a convenient way.

To smuggle it. Oh my god, fuck, I know that wild.

Smuggling in like lollies. Wouldn't you make sure you don't get a mixed up? You'd hold onto them tired, wanted to do the MINTI It didn't so much better even how did they get to a food bank?

They But also think of the people who wanted it smuggled in?

Now they actually the.

Only person think of the Think of the drug dealers.

Yeah, they got well.

Nothing, prison time real lolly, wouldn't you anyway? So I'm thinking of those people that were weird. Time to be alive, isn't it? And children as well? My god, I'll be fine that the time of recording. What if they get hooked old children? Oh no, in aa in twenties time. I remember my first hit, That fucking lolly was great. It was a mental sort of been chasing that high ever since. Oh no, yeah, that's really bad. Sorry, well,

We've got art some amone on the way against joining us in a little bit, but we'll kick off without Is it just me that we always do correct how this works?

Yes? Every week we start the show the same with it. Is it just me something we've noticed, something we hate or something we appreciate which doesn't know Mine, I don't know it just we go from there.

Mine is about a childhood TV show that I'm sure everyone in this room and most people listening would have watched in their childhood, and I believe it's also caused a lot of issues and children. Really, yes, long term effects. It's not like the bloody ice minties or whatever it was. This is like long term life, long effects.

Crystal mentos. We're really doing a PSA for the parents out there today. Aren't we reckon?

Parents these days?

Need to worry?

But I think it sucked us up.

Our generation got it my agent this week is something that I want to stop with it with phones? Oh, okay, that we should get rid of.

You can get first, sure, all right, let's get into it.

Is it just me?

Is it Madeline's fault that a lot of us have anxiety?

Who was Madeline? A little French girl?

Right?

Yes?

She might be very smart.

She used to run around, right, What do you mean didn't she bost in Paris? Wasn't that the whole thing.

That was one of the movies?

Yes?

Is that the movie that they made with human beings other than the animation?

Yeah? I know both, but I just remember her running off.

She did run a lot.

Yeah, missus Cloves is not really the most memorable part, but yeah, she man, what was the bomb?

Miss Clovel?

Well she's the problem, miss Clovel, the none in charge of all these fucking girls.

Give us context? What's the show about?

Again?

I don't even know the context?

That would you describe?

Okay?

So it's about a young girl in an orphanage. Orphanage boarding school, religious type of thing. Miss Clovel is their caretaker. They live next door to Perpito the Spanish, and he likes bull racing and stuff. He wears the bull racing outfit, the Matador.

Yeah. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure Madeline's not around anymore. But it was big in our day in the late nineties, and we were children, And I reckon that that show and Miss Clevel in particular, caused a lot of people to have anxiety issues later in life. Because do you remember the song that she would sing at least once an episode. No, I don't, every time she had a bad feeling.

Yeah, this is it.

Remember something, something is quite wrong, something is not white.

This song.

This man bitch running around the house going something is not right. And this song would have been repeated and repeated and gotten stuck in people's head. No wonder, we're all anxious. We're just going around in life being like something.

Is not wrong.

Yeah, something is quite wrong.

This woman is not hinged, and she has to run up like ten thousand haphazard lights of stairs to find these children because she believes that something is not right.

She's a dream and it's always Madeline and she says, my sleep paralysis deem and so many stairs?

Yeah right, why is she positioned so far away from the girl she's meant to be cared?

Also, all the girls sleep in one room.

Yeah, and very close together exactly.

So what wasn't right in that situation? Like, what was the point of all that?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure at least one in episode something was not right.

Yeah, I'd imagine fainted. I remember she was. They took her to hospital one time because she overheated or something.

The show just says, very literal, aren't children meant to be? And then on had a uti, so they had to get us some cranberry juice.

Remember, we love our bread, we love our butter, but sost of all, we love each other.

Oh I remember that.

Yeah, I used to say that before they slept.

Really they slept.

I thought it was for their meals.

Yeah, whatever, I think bread and butter, it sounds like food.

I even had the Madeline computer game, the PC game. Oh, it was so good.

What did you do? Drive to the men pharmacist to get a medication? I think it was.

Like almost like a learning game, like one of those games that parents get because they think they're doing something educational for their children. I loved it. I can't remember what I had to do in it, but it was like so nostalgic. I don't remember this sound far and up the old fucking.

Oh yeah that's far yeah, oh yeah.

And that bloody computer was so slow because maddline, as soon as you put that disk in.

The computer's injury as can you so worth it? Can you play the PlayStation two booty up.

Sound, which I'm all too familiar with.

My ad arrived.

I've been playing the two?

What have you been playing?

And you only had tech and and sims with me? But I got my Xbox side note.

You bought it. Oh my gosh, it arrived.

Yeah, what have you been playing? Oh my god. That's a whole other conversation. I actually don't know if it's good for me to have an Xbox.

You're addicted? Yeah, I spent like a whole day on it. Oh you will being a cat?

Yes, And I was just like, I want the sun is setting. I looked out the window and I was like, oh my god, I've waited what you bought?

Straight? No, not straight. It's called Little Kitty, Big City. Oh my cat, falls out of.

Its apartment window and you have to get at home, but it doesn't have enough strength to do so. So you have to complete all these missions and eat fishes and ships so it's got enough strength to climb.

Oh I want that.

I was so determined. I'm frustrated by the end. Oh yeah, I actually prefer the PS one startup sound play that fucking slaps?

Oh yeah, yeah? Can you do the game Cube intro sound? That's sure? Do you not? Do you remember it? Oh? No, you want a game cube? Boy? Not really.

One?

Really?

I loved GameCube.

Oh that's a bit elaborate, isn't it?

For a bit? I loved it too, and.

Then my dad traded it in for money?

What to fund his addiction?

I don't know what anyway, Madeline, she causes, I guess, all right, what do you got?

All right, let's go? Is it just me? I push notifications? Evil? Huh? Push notifications? I'm so done with them. You know when you get a new app and then you get notifications on your phone from.

That app, and it'll be like, I don't know, let's say you've got a meditation app or something. You use one correct, and then every day after that They're like, we mith you come back.

Oh, but it's always like rise and shine. Twelve percent of people, you know, say that meditating in the morning will start it. Hate it. I I'll have Twitter, right, and I only use Twitter for one thing. I think I've said this on the podcast Twitter It's now I think you find it's called X. It's called X you but I'm the dead name it. Sorry. In my eyes Twitter, it will always be Twitter. I don't subscribe to X. Also, X is going down real right, wings What.

Do you use it for?

Well, the purpose for me is yeah, yeah, the Twitter or the porn on Twitter. It's great and no ads, you know, it's great. So yeah, I only use of that really, like I'm not in there all the time, but my Twitter clearly knows that's the content that I'm looking at. And I haven't turned off push.

Notifications I have for the porn account.

So I the other day gave my phone to my boss who wanted to look at a video of the night show that we sho I know, I know. So I had this video. My boss is like, can I see the content? I was like, oh, yeah, I've got on my phone. Here's my phone. So I handed it to him, and I could see because it comes up as a little banner on the top of the phone, and I could see I got a notification when I gave it to him, and I thought, oh, that's that's fine.

I didn't get it.

Well, I thought it was weird. He was our videos, great mate you posted. I took my phone back and I pulled down the notification center, which would have showed me the notification. Oh god, how bad are we talk? And I'm a hungry little bottom. Take a peek. It was a push notification from some Twitter twig and my boss saw it.

Okay, you got to turn off Twitter notifications. But also have you seen that there's a thing you can do where if you fuck around deep enough in notification settings, you can set it so that it'll say you've got a message. But it has to be your face ID for it to show what the message is. Oh no, but if someone else is holding your phone, it'll just say message. It won't say it won't say what it is is. Yeah, it has to be your face id Well.

I had to turn off push notifications also from for a reddit because I was in the you Gotta hustle a few weeks ago posting on Reddit. So now I get notifications daily. Our slash polyamory, our third no longer talks to me before and after sex. Help.

Do you know what's so frustrating though? I get so many notifications and my my management and trying to get me to use slack not for just as our point of communication rather than everything. Yeah, I know, but I'm trying so hard to get with it and be a fucking corporate girly. Yeah, but I don't keep an eye out for it, and I keep missing everything they say, and they end up having to text me and be like check slack yeah, because it's not a very distinct logo,

I just slack yeah.

And so I've had to set it so that it like pins at the top of its screen until I've acknowledged it. Trying to get in the habit of giving a fuck about Slack. It's really hard.

Some apps stand out. I've got new message on eBay. I'm selling something great, Jessica Albert has posted to her snapchat story Do I turn that bullshit off?

You just got to put aside ten minutes to deal with that shiite.

Crystal Christie added to her story his.

Problem can be solved though, believe me, I reckon, Yes, just fuck around in setting.

But is it the settings of the app? Or is it the settings on the phone.

If you just go to the phone settings notifications and then you can go app by appal Taylor, Yes, not me educating you on how to use an Apple device.

This ever happened before. There's always a third.

Is it just me?

Podcast by a couple of mitches?

Don't suck it up?

All right? I'm so excited for our guest joining us, Mitchell. We've had a guest in a long time.

It has been a while between guests, hasn't it. You're actually only the second guest we've had this year. Up the mud Welcome. Hi, Who how are we going?

Oh my god? Good? Technically not your first time on the show. You have featured previously Art. You were on for a very brief moment during the Moderated Games years ago.

How did that go? In the end.

Yeah, they got the job.

It was the challenge that we set book is the guests, and you were that guests and guests he won. He got the job, so it's all good.

He just actually resigned this same month after.

A good three Well there we go. Now I can finally get back on the show.

Yeah. You might know up from being the runner up of RuPaul's Drag Race down Under season one or a arts podcast Concealed with Art Simon, which, by the way, if you haven't listened, premise is very it's kind of like, it's very good. So it's like, thank god you're here the TV show, but like a podcast version Art since down a guest enters the show and then they have crazy stories, crazy lives, crazy profession, but you learn about it as the listener does exactly.

We are saying, oh, we've only had two guests this year. You have won every fucking episode, but you're going blind.

Yes, we just finished up season three, which is fabulous, a whole collection of crazy characters sitting in front of me. And the fun thing about the podcast is I literally have no idea who's going to walk in the room, so we get the true, real reaction from me which is usually what, who.

The fuck are you? What do you do? I mean, happy for you.

That's my dream job. No prep at all. I just get to turn up and out, Oh you've lucked the system.

Did you have a favorite this season?

Oh? Do you know what I mean? I will reveal it. My favorite was Actually I got surprised with my own mother. They brought my mummy that. Yeah, so I got to interview my own mother. But she turned the format on its head and told a story about me, which I was not very happy about. But if you want to find the real story about how I became ut simone listened to that episode with my mother dearest.

That was the last episode. Wasn't it the finale? Yes, it was the finale, and shincen. She keeps saying. She's like, now do you need a guess for the next season. I'll do it again. I'll do it again. I know what it's all about now.

Because she was so nervous to get on get on the mic, she was like, I don't want him to see me.

Just listen to me.

And now she's confident, so I said, Mom, stop it please, it's my podcast.

Thanks you for yourself sick. Yes, she is Wait, now I need to know what life is like post drag Race because we've seen you at events and out and about, and like we obviously know you personally, we know that you're thriving.

Oh my god, how many things have we done? Many?

Many, many, No fabulous. I've got the two of the world work with lots of fabulous, amazing people.

I've written a book that's come out.

I've got a second book that's coming out later this year as well. I've got the podcast. I've acted on Loki nominated TV shows. I've done so many fabulous, bloody things. Ever since I stepped off the set in that tiny little shed in New Zealand and walked into the rest of my life, it's been great.

And now wait, the story that Michelle Vsage is going to host drag Race down and I think a lot of people thank God because RuPaul has checked out well and truly from the down underseason, Like just very is, did you think that'll be good? Do you think that's needed that might make the franchise get some love?

I am very, very, very excited, even just from my experience filming with Michelle. She was so invested, she was so present in the rooms. She was so ready to learn every thing about the people in front of her and also learn about, you know, the local pop culture and references and everything that made our drag unique and special. So I think it's just going to make it an even more fabulous experience for everyone, And I can't wait for it to.

Air, hopefully soon.

They haven't officially announced when it's airing, but I hope it comes out soon.

Like the year's nearly done, TikTok clowns, it's actually keen to see this.

We aally have one that she didn't we not? Now that was last year and last year.

Yeah, it's been over twelve months. Oh shits last season.

So do you think we'll get it this year? Is that the room?

I think they've already been filming, right, Yeah, it's already filmed.

I look, I've heard some whispers that we will be getting it by the end of the year, so I believe maybe we've got Global All Stars happening now. So I think on the other side of Global, there may be a bit of room in the schedule to pop a little a couple of down Under Drag queens on the screen.

But who knows. It's it's all rumors. Do you watch all of the series like worldwide, because some of my friends have been like, Brah, I've got drag Race fatigue. They just keep giving it a season after season, spin off after spin off. You're the real reveal.

I haven't watched an episode of drag Race other than Drag Race Another because I review it on my web series kick Ons. Since I filmed, I haven't watched a single episode of any other drag Race.

And it's just it's lost the magic.

Once you've filmed it and you've been on the other side of the cameras, you just can't sit back and relax. You go, oh, right, so I know outside of this frame they did this, this, this, and this to make the mask that yeah, I know this, I know this, So you can't. You can't just relax and enjoy any of it. So the bit that I like the most is it's all the runways. I love seeing all the looks, all the fabulous creations that the girls walk down the

Yeah, we saw that Hannah Conda did so well like run she was runner up of the last like Drag Race versus the world with the I don't know, a classic.

Art who has just said, I don't bloody what I keep up on the socials.

On the socials, and we know you know that our Rossie queen. We all heard that. I didn't even watch it, but I heard that Hannah Condor was running up. Have they asked you to do one of those national seasons? Would you go back? I don't know.

I cannot confirm nor deny whatsoever, so as and such forth and all of that. But yeah, we've had Hannah, We've got Queen Kong on the latest season of Global All Stars, which is going to be the full real Olympics of Drags. They've got so many different franchises coming together. Very excited that's airing this week, I believe. So I'm so excited to I think I will be watching that one because that's like brand new, that's exciting format. Yeah yeah,

Say that like we all know it, like oh not the Colombian Club.

They built one set in Colombia and all the different franchises fly in and use it and they just light at different colors apart from the Shed down under you apart from the Shed and the US and the UK. But like like I think Germany films there, Brazil films, they're Mexico films, they're global films.

They're fracking money. It'll be a great season that you're not on but people can see you. You're about to go on tour right the Fountain Lakes in Lockdown, the Drag parody play When does It Stay?

So it kicks off at the end of the month August thirtieth, and we'll be touring right into December. We're going to eleven different cities across the East Coast. That's just our twenty twenty four portion of the tour, which.

Is going to be very exciting.

We're going to Sydney, Canberra, We're doing Melbourne, We're doing Ballarat, We're doing Aubrey, Bathurst, Newcastle, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Brisbane. The list goes on and on. It's going to be very exciting.

I love that you going regional. Have you been to Bathist before? That sort of my neck of the woods.

No, I've been all through regional Victoria, but I haven't been to Bathurst. I haven't been to that area before. But baths is the one we've already had to call the police on someone that was setting us death threats. So I can't wait to bring the show.

So we're excited.

What a homophobic thing is? Or've just seen the show and now please don't do it again. I think I'd kill you.

Yeah, no, it is actually Yeah, we're getting a lot of homophobic ety drag all of that. But I think that's fun because any press is good press. And if someone's so met how much they don't want us to be there, that means people will find out that we're there, so the right people will come.

To a great time with us in Bathurst. I agree.

Now, listen, I'm not a Kath and Kim fan. I've actually never seen the show. I'm on this podcast with Mitchell koumb so of course it's sort of I've learned via a bit. Yes, yeah, you.

Have no idea how many Kath and Kim references I drop and they just slip through the cracks. He's got no idea what I'm on about. Also doesn't ask. I must just make no fucking sense to you.

I just don't care. I just you know. I love the characters and I think it's a great series, but it just has never caught on for me. And I think found Gate is that's reference, isn't it.

Yes, Fountain Lakes Lakes suburb, Fountain Gates, the shopping center. Yes, but no, you've probably seen an episode of Kath and Kim and going, oh wow, they're quoting Mitch a lot.

Yeah, it actually suits me.

He thinks I'm really funny and original.

So Mitch is just bang on for you.

Oh yeah. I saw all the stuff on Instagram about this play happening in Melbourne. I was like, they fucking better bring this to Sydney, so I can't wait. And that's only the opera House. The opera House, babe, hardly mind.

Why don't we go. Shall we go? Can we can we do a little excursion?

You want to go?

Now do art? I'd go to see art. Okay, it's a parody, like it's going to be funny, you know. Okay, here we go out to sell some tickets. By the way, head to Kath and kimplay dot com tickets. Is it is you need to know Kath and Kim to laugh?

Absolutely not. So.

The whole premise of the show is that it's base in Lockdown. So we're looking so even if you just have a minimal knowledge of Lockdown, you're going to have a great time because a lot of references in there. But I have some friends they exist just like you, who have never seen Kath and Kim in their life. But they came to see the show because they're like, nah, we want to support you and your little projects. That's nice, good for you. But they had the best bloody time.

Half of it.

But the joke, the joy in Kath and Kim is that it's just funny to everyone. You don't have to understand the references, but the people that love the episodes, We've got a lot of little tidbits and callbacks for all of them, but the content itself with Kath and Kim is hilarious regardless. So if it's the first time you've heard it or the five hundredth time you've heard it, you're going to have a great time.

I am going to be there with bells on. Don't you worry.

I just think it's a sad life people live if they haven't seen the show, though, Like, why rob yourself of that joy?

I know that's all right, some people have bad taste.

We're going to do a Kath and Kim's scene recreation with you in a sec. But I do have to ask because I saw the photo on your Instagram of you with Janeton and Gena Riley. Yes, you got to meet the Kath and Kim. Was it one of those don't meet your hero things or were they just heaven?

No?

It was really, really great.

I got to meet them on the set of the twenty year anniversary reunion special thing that the fans love to hate.

But I got. I don't care because I got to be part of it.

I got to be immortalized with those two legends, and it was so exciting because they came in but they were in full character mode. They really not and they didn't break out of it. And I'm so happy for that because then I actually got to meet Kath and Kim as is these are v which was very exciting. They were so wonderful they did at the end, after saying hello for a bit and working with me, they

And I was like, oh, oh, that is so And did she deliver that whole all emotional speech in character or was that when.

She finally slipped Now she finally she was finally died it down and then five seconds later she was straight back into it and being a complete long And I loved her.

She was great.

Do you think they'll ever do they'll do it again? Would they do another season?

Like?

Did you ask? Or? But but what are the real fans know? They could it a kill?

No?

No, no, no, No, I think I think that that anniversary special was like the last we'll really get.

I would literally shock because people were complaining about that, saying, oh, they only gave us a little bit of new content. I was surprised they were willing to do that. Literally, why would they need to make anything new? Exactly?

I was so shocked they put the wigs on one more time and they even did that little thing. I just I just thought, for the rest of our lives were just going to be seeing Sharon's Treds Lucky popping up in random commercial.

That's all all. We're gonna have what she's doing at the moment, Google, what is it?

Someone needs to check on Magdala centralling does exist? You know, she doesn't have to be the face for every every mobile ordering service.

Well, apparently she like owns the rights to the character Sharon, so she can sell to she Were there any like copyright issues with you doing this play, because apparently they can be a bit funny about it.

We have some really great parody laws in Australia, so this comes this comes under parody, So we're all, oh, we fall back on that excuse a lot.

Yeah, I love the parody laws in this country.

But the little bit of gossip is we've actually got a review of the show from Jane Turner and shut up, but well, no, this is the review because she accidentally replied to my Instagram story. It was clearly someone had obviously sent it to her Instagram account, because she has a private Instagram account and if you were a stalker, you may not but someone had clearly sent it to her.

But her review was ha ha, So I think that's great reviews.

Yes, So as a little cast gift to each other, we got mugs printed with haha Jane Turner. So I think that's beautiful because she could have literally said I'm calling the lawyers. So she didn't, so I.

Think that could have been so much worse. She could have been like, no, he fucked it. I'm putting a stop to this.

Litually, I believe we're bringing a bit of Kath and Kim to the show next.

We will, but I want to hear and is it just me that you've brought with you If you've got one ready to go oh yeah, So is it just me?

Or we have a sound effect for you, Bradley. You don't have to say the words. You just finished the sentence, okay for god, So go Bradley.

Is it just me?

Do you feel just constantly old all the time? Because when I was trying to put together, you know, I was like, you know, what's really bothering me at the moment, and everything that I came up with made me seem like an extremely old middle aged No that makes sense, just an old person because I was like, you know, the stamps, they're too expensive, and then I was like, oh, Cozie Lives.

Why the fuck are you buying stamps?

I have to post things, okay, right, I have to post merchandise to people who buy them from my store, Thank you very much. Dot com stamps Yeah, well no, this is the Okay, here's the issue.

Yeah, here's it.

Because they keep changing the price of fucking stamps. So all the stamps that I have are the wrong price. So I have to stick like eight of them to an envelope to be.

Able to cover the right Wait, is the value of stamps? Does it change?

Yes?

Are but what you're kiddy?

I remember ages ago? It used to be you just put one fifty cent stamp on it, but then they started selling five cent stamps because it was now fifty five. That's to bridge the gap. Yeahs sixty and then what's it at now? Yeah?

I think it's over sixty because I buy, like, I buy like a roll of them because I use them all the time, and now I have like a whole roll and they're the wrong ones. And I'm very bothered by it, and I don't even send things. I think they should just honor the price that you bought it at and be like, Okay, well you've paid for one hundred stamps at fifty five cents and you should be able to post them like that. So, yes, I'm bothered by stamps and that it's making me sound really old.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Is it just me who checks it?

Though?

Like you put it in, you put it in the mailbox and then who you just know.

The post office would be spiteful enough to go.

Through a machine because then it stamps it.

Yeah.

Wow, Yeah, I'm the price keeper.

One sends the prizes for the show the sees you can relate.

Then then I end up just spending too much because I will put like three stamps on something because I just don't want it to come back to me.

And I'm like, I'm actually losing money on this. You change will that?

No, no, no, big.

Post is out to get you.

Wait, so you can't do like a minus four like there's not it's like no far reverse a and.

Then a skip and then man, bloody stupid.

That's too much. Well, please buy some merch from art, might.

Get some extra stamps in there. I'll throw an extra stamp inside the envelope and that orders the merchant and quotes is it just me?

Thank you? Is it just me?

Now?

This is the part that I've been very much looking forward to. We've done a few acting schools on this podcast before art. It seems to stem from things that I'm into. We've done a Titanic scene recreation. I've done a Wicked scene recreation. So holy fuck, I think you speaking of Titanic.

Didn't that lovely meme where it's spelled toy tannic toy tanic?

Yeah?

Anyway, So do you feel like you're not actually in character that much when you're cat' day night? Because sometimes I just feel like I now speak like that.

By default yeah, look, not as much, but you'd be surprised. I was recording a bunch of the podcast episodes for Concealed while we were doing our inaugural season, and then when the episodes came out later in the year, I was it was like Kath interviewing all of these poor guests.

I was like, oh my.

God, I really was really in it. I was really in it. So I'm going to be absolutely insufferable and sound like a complete buffoon. But it slips out, I know, I know, and just a way of laugh, isn't it Now?

It's different?

Can I be annoying? And just for the international listeners, Yes, Kath and Kim is a cold Australian TV series. What from what era? And where did it is?

I don't think we're referring to that abomination of an American of Kim.

It was Molly Shannon wasn't yeah, not even she could save it? What a mess? And what what network was it on? Was the Channel ten number? And then Channel seven eventually? Yeah got it okay and it ran for how many seasons.

For But they've also got a couple of telemovies and stuff.

Yeah, Michael Boobo, Kylie and have come across. I'm across the law. So it just if you haven't seen it, it's so very Australian, perfectly sort of encapsulates Australia in that period. You give it a watch, you can watch it on youtra.

It's not like the candle laughter is sort of funny. The humors is so subtle they don't know what they're saying. It's funny to us. It's just so dumb. I love it. And so obviously you're going to be reprising the role of Kath as you have been doing on stage.

Yes, this is casting. What do you mean, well, this is when we announced the cast roles.

Yeah, well we've already locked that.

In Heaven we I'm going to be Kim obviously, Okay, if I get lead or if I'm getting you know, I don't.

Know you and you and Jenna we're going to fight over Sharon and Kell, but you were pretty set center. John's printed off the letter C to replicate a bib. Nice and I've.

Got a skivvy so it looks like a neck brace.

Right, Saron always has a different injury.

Well, if we're doing costumes, then I thought I better put my wig on.

Then all right, So I just's I thought that I would tune with the them and throw on a Kath and Kim shirt. But now that I'm in character, it's like, why would Kim wear a shirt with her cel phone? Wouldn't it's too bad?

Oh wait, the wig's going on?

Look at that?

God, is this the wig you wore on Snatch Game when you played Cat.

I didn't know I played Bindia and on Snatch Game, but I forget that too. Donorry, but no, but this is when I was on the main stage and this is my beautiful tissy perm from the no stop it my glory. I love this already. I was going to put a parody ring on, but I've got headphones.

I actually shit the headphones really well, and that means I'm playing the role of Kel.

So you're married to U?

Yeah, well, I'm the only straight man on the show at the moment, so it feels wrong.

Kel was in the Navy, so be careful.

He alludes to his semens admissions.

Really yes, okay, let me get ready.

Okay, he's not afraid of a big prick.

Okay, Oh my god, I never.

Heard slip into a Kath and Kim voyce. So this will be interesting your role of Sharon.

Are we ready for this table reread? I am, I've got questions about my character. Is Kell a little simple? No?

I don't know about simple, but he just kind of goes with the flow.

He's the most inoffensive.

Yeah, yeah, it's the simple one.

Yeah's a bit Pim's partner. Yeah, got it? Okay, okay, okay.

Are we ready? So, Mitch, would you like to read out the setting?

Sure? Okay, Welcome to the official is It Just Me featuring arts amone table read? This is season two, episode one, the announcement. The very first scene correct setting out to dinner on New Year's Eve two thousand and two. Kath and Kell are newlyweds, still reeling from Kath's injuries from the accident. At the wedding, Sharon is giddy for Mark. Kim is stuffing herself stupid while her marriage to Brett is on the rocks. Action.

What don't look at me like that? Mum? It's all you can eat? Well, do you think you can get your trotters out of the trough for five minutes? Kim? You're gross. I'll give it a bone. Mum.

It's New Year's of well.

I would give it a bone, Kim, but you already aged. What are you laughing at? Sharon?

Oh, it's Mark, it's texting me again. I think he's really keen, Kim.

Oh is so keen?

Where is he tonight? What are you giving?

Sharon the third degree? For Kim, I think I'd be asking myself the same question vs.

A V.

Where is one Brett tonight? Rabbity, why don't you It's not my fault that Brett won't spurk to me, and it's chained the locks. My marriage is up there, Kim.

I'm just not surprised that Brett's had a cupfull of your moods. Don't fuff me, please, I think it absolutely is your fault that you are once again spending ny desperate and dateless.

Your information, Mam, I do have a date a sticky day. Don't be fail Kim.

I'd like to say a few words, but tonight is Cath's and my's anniversary one month and they said it wouldn't last kill. I know we haven't been able to be man and wife in the physical sense. People are eating. But despite your osteoitis a purpose and your temporary for shortened leg You've made me a very happy man.

Thank you, kel And in reply, I would just like to say yes, since the accident at the wedding, It's true, I don't find my body as foxy as it once was, and my libido has gone a whole. But I just want to say, Kill, You're only human, but you're the most patient damn human I know. So here's to you, Kill and my six yearl urge mate return with Gusto before too long to cass urge to missus d I've got an.

Urge to throw out.

Well, I have to say, your continued presence in the next door bedroom is not helping one iota Kim.

Oh, so now it's my fault that you're a dry up old prude.

I'm not a dried up old prude, Kim. It's just with those Papa thin waves. Kill's very shy about vocalizing, that's all.

Oh my god, Look at the time, it's nearly midnight. How about a nice bottle of friend champagne?

My shout?

Have you got your rolet? Sharon?

Wait? Dad, can I have a bottle of your finest don Paris noal?

Please?

Three too?

What happy scene? What did you think? Cheery Gus. Someone who's never seen the show, you like, what the fuck? Can you understand the humor there? They're not making obvious jokes. It's just how they speak.

No, it's not too cerebral, like you don't have to go too deep. I do understand the nuances. I like it. I do. I think we did very well.

It was nice.

I think I had some chemistry there some.

Yeah, is a really coming through? It is nice.

Yeah, maybe we'll get up to some horizontal lowers dancing later on.

Jenna, your Sharon was really quite good? Was it kind of sounded like jenerated, But the first line, the first Sharon line, I was really convinced. Mark has texted me again. I think he's really key. Thanks.

I really got into character with the phone and everything.

I got a prop to cheese. I had some champagne. What is it, don Perring?

When we were deciding on the scene, I was tempted to just cast in.

The role of Imren.

The water that was there?

Right, Well, answer mine? Thank you. That was brilliant. A great line reading, and I'm sure you get so much funnier gear in the kathkinplay dot com for tickets If you want to go book tickets.

What is it?

Fountain Lakes in Lockdown the drag parody play, that's the one. Make sure you are.

Now that you're in cahoots with Jane Turner herself, can you send her this? I want to see if we get a half.

I think she's blocked me because I did reply to that when I was like, oh, here's her account, and then she I was like, I wonder if I could just put a friend request in.

You know, we've met, were friends. I knew that they must have some form of social media because like, obviously you can't see them if you search them, but I'm like, I knew that they can't just live life offline.

They must have a little burner account.

Ye know, they definitely do. And the reason we worked it all loud is because she was following like Magda was following her, and she was following magdurr and I was like, oh, yeah.

It mustnt of a dog or something. Appropriately it was very very very deal, very de Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, well listen, before we let you go out, we need to ask art what we ask every guest.

It's a very important question. So we have a running list that all our guests add too. It's our list of things better than drugs and dick. Yes, because we don't want any of our younger listeners getting obsessed with partying. And always there's little things in life you can appreciate. I'll give you some examples, weighted blankets and a good skincare routine. It's better than drugs and dick. According to Reyes Nicholson, that's a lie. The Wizard of Oz is Hannah Conda's comfortable.

That's her thing.

For Dan said, green crunchy plums with salts.

Okay, But a great list of exciting things. Wow, such exciting lives people live. What about that, Spanky Jackson said, KFC. You still get to suck on something, but you don't get the aftertastes. And there's no shame if you find a bit of leftover and your tips later.

That is true, that's true, that makes sense, And anything you'd like to add to the least. I'm sorry that sour palms with salt was taken. Fond of them.

There's a lot of good things.

But what I will add so instead of drugs and dick, I will take pussy and pasta, and by that I mean pussy cats and a big bowl of pasta.

That's beautiful.

These two love fucking pussy. It drives me up. The war all they talk.

About the cat. I'm practically obsessed with pul Yes, I love it. I am a big puss puss fan, Thank you very much.

Of course, what's your pullse shout he out or him out.

I've got two pulls I've got I've got trinket and pickles, and the one's a redhead and one's a fluffy one.

Yes.

Have you done the Quiet Place challenge with your pussy?

What?

Yes?

I have?

What is it?

So in the quiet Place you have to be quiet, right otherwise the crazy aliens find you and they eat you. So you have to pick up your ca and and in the latest film there's the main character is that like she has a cat that she's running through the Quiet Place the whole time with.

And the cat actor's name is Snitzel.

Yes, that is correct. The cat is correct. I follow them on Instagram now, but yes. So the challenge is is to like grab your cat and run around the house with it and see if it makes a noise, and if it does, you die, and if it doesn't, you'd survive.

Oh no, I would slay that my cat is practically nonverbal. She never makes a hape. Your cat, Yeah, she's a bit of a stunned mullet.

You could say, no, you know what to get you and Isabella Mitjillie when she decides to dump in front of the alien that cant has the loudest turns, just crunching and munching on that stinky kibble that it walks on. And then the pool. I've never heard allowed a poo in my life.

I do live in quite a tiny palm and aren't and so I don't have a laund it like a dedicated spot for the kitty litter. So I've got a disguise under like a coffee table in the lounge trap. Well, no, that's good for the day core. And it's very difficult to explain to guests because they wouldn't know at a chance that it's a kitty litter. But then I just hear the and then you smell it, and I'm like, yeah, that coffee table that you've got your drink on is also where my cat shits.

I'm safe.

You get one of those robo ones that like you clean it for you and hard it in this little bag at the back. Hang on, we could go and that's a whole love.

I definitely could. And let's end it there now I know what you mean about your origin. We do sound so fucking.

Lares very well. Thank you for coming on the show again technically appearance number two. We adore you enjoying.

It to thank you? You want to stage, Bob can't wait? Yes, thank you for having me.

Thank you.

I will catch you back on Monday. Idiots, thanks for listening.

Give us a review if you don't mind, five stars. I'll see you in a couple of days.

Love your talk things he bye?

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to add brief our secret segment on the end. I was very proud of you just then, Cherry, Why I thought you were going to do your usual kicking.

Up and singing.

Like the same visial reaction we get when we mentioned Daylor Swift.

Whatever.

I know.

We also have a guest in and I'm not going to be rude. I think it is very funny. It's just not my speed, but I never disrespect it in front of you know, the leaders of a Kath and Kim fan base society. Do you have an Apple TV? Yes?

Do you ever connect to your rare pods to it?

Yeah?

I do. Yeah, you should just pop one in the background and just listen to it, like you don't need to sit down and watch it properly. It's twenty five minutes to.

Take a podcast.

Yeah, and just glance at the TV every so often. I was going to say maybe when you're cleaning better, but you know, do your un cleaning.

You know who loves it, Michelle Chury. My mum loves Kath and Kim.

Oh, I do you know what? I can see that. Yeah.

Yeah, she's obsessed with it, so I really should give it a go.

Yeah.

I haven't watched a show in full in months months. I really need to commit.

Yeah. I got a bit bored of looking for TV shows and I find that I get a bit fidgety. I need to be doing something, hence the gamer era.

Yeah, and you're loving the gamer era. Yeah.

I don't know if it's going to be a short lived phase, but so far loving it.

It does fade because I was you know, I'm a gamer boy, have been for years. I ebbs and flows like at the moment. I'm back in my Nintendo era. I was playing Switch all the time, Mario Card as much as I can, but like my PlayStation just sits there and collects dust until a good new game comes out. Then I fall back into it.

I got to say, you warned me before I got the Xbox, like, oh, I think that's a bit straight boy for you. When I went to like the menu to look at all the games, excuse me, god, and sorry.

Speaking of straight.

My legs are spread like a bloke toe. When I went to the menu to look at all the games that I can download, I was like, oh, just.

Judging books by their covers, it looked very straight Mitchell. I think the algorithm learns because when you're used to open it, it's like you may like Assassin's Creed four, Vagina Chronicles, you may like Modern Warfare killing everyone, and now it's like nin ten Dogs four it's big in the city. Yeah, which is so it'll learn what you download.

What did I say I was going to come back to you earlier? I was like, Oh, that's a whole ordeal gaming chat. Can't remember, I think just to talk about it in four Yeah.

I can't remember now, Like should I get a switch or a PlayStation.

I'm a big supporter of Switch, but like it.

Yeah, I do kind of regret not getting something Nintendo purely for Mario, but I have been playing that on the DSi and I loving it.

I want to play cat games.

Oh, then you need a PlayStation. You know. I threw out my PlayStation four? Is that the old one?

Yeah?

I threw it out. What are they up to now? Five?

Five? Yeah? Like that's fit around for ages? Don't they two? For another one?

Those about two three years ago?

Now?

Okay, I wanted the four? Oh really?

Yeah?

No, you want to get the five? But I get it on Facebook marketplace. You'll get a cheap you serious.

I had a look that I think they're all.

Scamming me to help you. I'm a very good at marketplace and being I'm a very good haggler.

You could also go to like AB games or whatever, because usually people trade the met didn' get a second Oh my god?

And I've got level four carrots at EB games. Oh you should use my card too, What does that mean?

Oh?

Level four carrots. I've been buying since I was like a kid. So I'm like platinum Platin and platinum, so I get like twenty percent off my purchases and like thirty percent extra trading value. So if I trade in my switch, I get so much more value for it. You just use my mobile number. If you have only thing, it'd be games. Just put my mobile number in and you'll get something for it.

I feel so reluctant to trade anything in because the joy I've gotten from firing up the old pants two years later, and my old Nintendo that I probably got for my my DS that is yeah, I probably got that for like my fucking thirteenth or fourteenth birthday. And if I traded that in, I wouldn't have experienced the sheer joy of me now trying to unlock World for and free.

And it's not worth eighty dollars you'll get They lowball you. It's never worth it.

It's my game cube.

My dad traded it in a cash converters at.

I've got PTSD. My dad traded in my ripstick that cash converts. I don't know I wanted it were so good I stick that, how you know me? My hips, I'm a good you know, I got those thrusting hips always. I don't have good enough balance. Oh really. Yeah, I might have a skateboard or ripstick. My sister Rachel broke around on the ripstick and Mum's like, it's not broken. She's had for a week. Mum's like, it's not broken. Then Rachel woke up one day it was like blound

No, it wasn't broken at the time she broke woke up with appropriate.

It's that much confidence. Now it's not broken.

How would you know? It's just like third child syndrome, youngest child, like you just don't listen to them. Poor Rachie Mitchell. I want to have a game snight at your house? Yeah, anytime, or I want to teach you. Can we set this up. I'm going to task you, Mitchell with this because you don't do enough on this show. I want to set up how we can live stream gaming. You need like a stream deck, and you need we've got lights, we've got microphones. Mitchell. We're actually like you

Just tell me what to get and I'll do it. I literally last night had contraceptive diaphram. Sam come over and I said to him, can we have a techno day? I need help setting up how to live stream shit, not just for gaming, but just generally.

I won't know how to do it.

And we didn't get anything done because we just ended up playing the expot were carried away and I.

Was like, fuck, it's ten Okay, we need a stream deck. We need to build anime, but we can get Sam to build animations. Like yes, Mitchell, if we're gonna do it, because here's the thing.

But I'm going to be the one paddling and playing. I just want to sit and forget.

No.

Yes, but no, no, no, because I want to do it from my house. You do it from your house. Jenna can jump on and we can have headsets and that way it's easy. We don't have to set like a day of it. We can just jump on if we're feeling lazy, and we can stream from our homes and play games together.

I'm not being more fun of we're in the room the lag and shit.

No, but the whole point is to stream, to do it from different rooms. We can do like a Fortnite Matcht's see Fortnite.

You told me that Xbox is straight or energy, but Fortnite.

Na Fortnite, Mitchell, Fortnite is queer coded it is. You can be Ariana, you can be Lady Gaga. Oh that's right, I forgot about that. It's the Lady Gaga music. It's very gay. There's so many twins on Fortnite. Join the club. I'm not in the group for for different reasons. I think we should play Fortnite together.

Taste is very different, though, like dumb shit, like what Little Kitty Big City?

I've played that? No, I played stray.

I just want a cat game.

Oh you should do Little Kitty Big City?

So funny that on PlayStation.

Yeah. I just wanted something that streams, like whatever is on my TV, like a fucking screen recording, so I can also stream the p S two.

You can do that.

I could just stream myself watching the morning self.

I wanted to.

I wanted to be a live feed of my television.

I can't believe I just threw out my PS four. I'm so sorry, Jenna.

I also can't believe that you've never told us that you were like a Nintendo collector. Why did you keep that to yourself? I was a bit nerdy, not that damn proud of. I was actually like, oh.

Cool, Oh really I collect vintage Nintendos I have. I went through it the other day because Steven was wondering, I've got every game Boy that was ever ever existed, not.

Every including the rare Pikachu thing, wasn't it.

Yeah, But I was shocked that. I was like, why haven't you even brought that up? I know, I know, I'm a real sweet When I travel, I take my switch. I played on the plane all through America. I was playing my Switch on the plane. I love it so much.

I think my brother had a PSP.

They didn't catch on that piece like crumbled failed. Yeah, there's another one PSV. I think that's out mountain. That's not good. Hardly know. That's tamagotchies that are out now. I saw them. It came up. They've got like new updated tamagotcheese.

Yeah. I feel that I would rather than just do like a Tamagotchi phone app where you can bring it up on your screen as a life sized Tamagotchi idea, because I don't want an extra fucking thing to carry it totally.

And also the tamagotchies in my day, if my tema got all I want my tamagatchi to do is piss and die. That's it. No pee and pooh and die. Remember that, Just have poo, move totally, and then it would be dead.

That's what happens if you neglect it.

No I know, but I just want those features. The new ones are like, your tamagotchi is experiencing existential dread.

Oh really, it's not just the replica of the old school.

Connecting my tamagotchi with friends one, so we'd be at school with our lanyards with the tamagotchi on it, connect it and have a baby.

Someone was telling me the other day that like schools would ban tamagotchi's, and then so many kids were upset at their tamagotchi's dying like they're griefing. Yes, and so all the parents petitioned the school to allow tamagotchi. Okay, everyone go to your school bags now, feed them, keep them alive, and then back to work like it was policed. Because the total neglect the kids were just getting stay set.

Of tem I got cheese dying, die, you're passing away.

I got mine up to level nine ones and then it died despite me like checking on it every five minutes.

That's bullshit. I remember. You could just put a pin in the back and reset it. I just reset it all the time. It's not the game, man when you work up. And it died and it had a little angel wing.

And that was really sad, really sad.

Yeah, well, good game of chat. I think we should look into the gamer whim streaming night. Yeah, Jenna, of course you'll set it up.

I remember that was going to be your hobby hunt for me because I was like, I got you to do something that I'm into. I eat bar class, I do and then you were going to get me to do gaming and it was specifically fortnight. Thank god you never got around. I know.

I think you just forgot because, as you say to it's a great idea. Did I have that?

Yeah? And now you brought it up again, like we should do a game tonight, and I'm like you already, I.

Already agreed to it. We will do it at one point.

In the meantime.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all. So we we do.

You guys are getting out of sink again.

I know, can we do that again?

I need And also I've noticed that you start like before I'm done, you just get the s ready. You're like.

So ready to go again.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all just two percent.

So we do.

No, but it's meant to be like a prayer, like so we do. You don't need to shout no, but it's like, so we do.

Yeah, we're in Kamla.

Yeah, go ready for Barry mckiller.

Yeah, so we do.

That's creepiest fabos nice because I do the hush tone. We hope this podcast it's meant to be like Janet, the comforting tone.

She's still around, by the way, I reckon.

Mary and fucking McKillop was on my side today. You know. It's talking about what a nightmare it is to park and at this studio, not one lap. There was a spot right out the fucking front, and I was like, she's watching, she.

Was watching over me. She's performing miracles from beyond the grave posthumously. As we've said on the show, thank you. Listen the idiots leave us a review. We love it. If you're not part of our endurant idiot community, go and join Endurance Idiots on Facebook. E n D. You are a MT. It's actually very fun. We're getting an influx of new members. Our merch is available. Go buy merch. The good, high quality merch is out. It is so cute,

I saw someone in our group say that it's the best travel mug they've ever used it. I gotta say I'm not biased, but I agree that travel mark is a good Yeah.

Yeah, it's a bit narcissistic drinking with your own face though I know.

I'm actually I'm a bit too nervous to wear our own merch in public because I'm like, are they going to think I'm fucking full.

Of my Now? I went out for dinner with the Army idiot shirt the other day. Someone laughs, you have the face on it.

I know if it's why, it's perfect beside my own, like my own, I'm an idiot as well.

You should. Someone at a cafe was like, I love that you still have that, and I'm like, no, it's my merch, my podcast. They walked away, but they like the premise.

Oh it's a good icebreaker. That's good it is.

Yeah, Stephen, where's here? He looks so cute in news, so handsome.

I figured that you were buying one for him. When I was looking at the order that you put in.

I said a medium.

It was like Quebec medium. I was like, what, okay?

You know that it is him on the fire? Is it so annoying? And he bears out there dating twins? He can wear my clothes, I can't wear his, and he does wear mine.

I can wear Sean's clothes and vice versas. Is the same that we have completely different taste?

Oh yes, yeah, Steven has a lot of juicy coatuur loves he like I can.

I don't even know.

He's going to kill you google juicy coture. Nokay, I got more to say talking about Steve, and I'm happy to go on.

Do you mean coture not, Katia?

No, it's coatureta It's not like ature.

It sounds like a tuna. But I thought it wasture.

Well, I mean, yeah, I guess it depends on on sort of juicy cortuur coture. He wears a lot of that, but he'll be mad. But we can share all. I guess we can share kind of hoodies and stuff. We we can't really he's tiny, like maybe wear his belt as a ring headband.

That's so stupid.

All right? Should we go? And what he thoughts on juicy too? Who want to listen to this? It's this track is and ship? Yeah, but Valua Velvet.

It's very him, very Yeah, it's lovely.

Sure, I could see you in a Juicy tour outfit, Mitchell doing a bit Kath and Kim. That's all, is it? That's why I'm shocked that you're not into it.

Kim would fucking eat those TRACKI.

Up, no doubt google Kath and Kim Juicy Coutuur tracks. Who I'm just demanding you google things? Now? What a boring podcast?

Yeah, this is what happens.

Just trying to bring the laptop. Just try Jenna, we vibe fell out.

No, it doesn't look like the specific.

I thought maybe there would have been a little collab and everyone would have been excited. All right, let's go. Thanks for listening, idiots. We love you so much. We can't do it without you, my barb. Yeah bye.

Is It just Me? A podcast by a couple of meters.

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