#222: Jack The Ripper

Just postood by a couple of mitches.

Delese yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.

You know, I take cognition vitamins every day.

I think you need to up the.

Now is Michie and Mitchell Coops?

Are you play?

Hi? Mitchell?

Hi?

Birthday week it's nearly over.

Yeah, it was the last day for you really to say.

My birthday week will officially be over as of August first, Thursday.

Oh true? Ye, well you remember your birthday. You've got a birthday post and everything. It was all you got, everything you wanted.

I don't know why you keep giving yourself such a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum. But who are you trying to assure yourself or me?

Me?

Because I never accused you of doing nothing?

Oh not not this year. No, I think it's PTSD from birthdays past.

I never accused you of that.

That was just a fact, No price Ki Jenna, Well, we don't want to go to the details of that.

Everyone remembers Hi.

Yeah.

I also when you forgot my birthday last year.

Didn't forget your birthday last year?

We did?

No, you did?

Was it last year?

Yeah? It was for my big thirtieth.

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

But you had a birthday thing, didn't you.

No, no, why not?

You invited the twin con who.

Tim Abbott, we've been over this. You can't even remember forgetting.

Yeah no, we didn't forget.

We did.

You said all you wanted for your birthday was a twink, so we made it happen, and that was off the cloud. So we better keep her happy. We don't the demands. Well, Happy birthday, Mitchell, Welcome to aging. I was at the airport and in the US they almost didn't accept my passport because my passport is from when I was nineteen and now I have had such a drastic facial change. Let me show you my passport photo. I took a

Surely it's all about the eyes, Like, no matter how much work you get done, surely your faith's idea will recognize you on your phone for sure.

I mean, I don't really know what it is, but it's some sort of technology that scans your face. This is my passport ready, my passport photo.

Oh my god, don't tell it to you.

Yeah, you can correct. You haven't change your hairstyle. O.

The hair is exactly same. But it's like clearly technical tech wise. They're like the guy at the airport was like, sir, you need to you need to update your photo. That's my advice to you. Managing well, so it's easy and seamless. And I don't know. Also it is due for an update. I need to get my passport.

I don't remember when I renewed my license recently. I wanted to get a new photo, but they were like, no, no, it's fine, we'll just automatically roll over the old one. And I was like, dude, I wanted a new photo because it's Jenny. You would remember when I looked like, this is like the year we met. Look at me.

Yeah, I remember this year we met too, wasn't it.

Yeah.

I don't think you knew me at that point, but yeah, yeah, I was a young, little short haired thing.

My photo is from when I got my l's because I've just it was COVID. Yeah, you got your l's during COVID, but act no, no, no, the renewal was during COVID so I didn't have to get a new photo. Have a look at this piece of shit.

This is great for our listeners. You can't, says them to the socials. Oh my god, look at the acne on you riddle with acne?

Height of my rawrakutaine those bleed era bacne at all bacne. Yeah?

You know what I've got right now? And it's sucking me off? Speaking of yes, Oh yes, I've got like a pimple sort of at that point where the hairline meets the neck right at the back, and it's in my scalp and it fucking kills you know.

It's probably not a pimple. It could be an ingrown hair.

That's possibly what are you doing with either?

In either case, if I squeeze it, it'll fucking juke pass you know what I mean? Hrau well ingrownd hairs do? Then?

Yeah?

Yeah. I have a friend over recently and she had an ingrown leg hair that was bothering her. And I got one of those you know, they're like a little metal thing that you push on your nose to get black heads out. Yeah, I said, Diesel, blow your mind, babe. Gave it the tool. She pushes it against the ingrown hair everywhere. She was like, whoa, that was impressive. It was so satisfying. It's sick and disgusting, but it was still very sad.

I'm not a pimple pop a person. What are you doing with my phone?

I'm sending myself the photo of your license because I know you'll forget to post it in the group.

But I don't want you to have my life details. You could commit intense fraud.

Do you really think I would do that? Yes, on his birthday? It's on his birthday.

It's the birthday week.

That is it is. I'm tending you as crop version of that.

Is there really something you worry about me committing fraud? Now?

If your phone, your phone was hacked.

I was gonna crop myself because I'm not a fuckhead before I posted in the group. It's just the photo of you looking awful. The way I care about it. I don't care about your life.

I don't tat my license in my passport. That is one hundred points of identification. You could you could do anything but that admin.

What am I gonna do?

I'm just in case. I'm just trying to be smart. This is why trash ally failed, because all right, I was dumb. I'm smart.

Wow, Wow, what a thing to say.

Speaking of that twink, Jenna, I read into him on the flight home from America. You said, I was sitting on the plane. This is worthless twink. He was on this show.

It's not his name anymore, Tim Abbott.

Oh he'll always be worthless twink to me.

He stole my birthday.

He did steal Jenna's birthday, and he stole my peace and fucking qual on my international flight. Because I'm sitting there earphones in, I mask on, and I hear it tap on the shoulder and then through you know, chapel row, and I hear muffled hello, because he's got this gorgeous booming voice. Hello, handsome damn Eda back from the dead. And I pulled my arm musk and would like to pushium. Oh shit, would have true. There's Barry Humpreeze is the

I was like, sure, neither of you have any business looking that good on a fucking long haul flight. I was furious. I thought the photos in the Facebook group.

Yeah, and why are you furious?

Because for a long haul flight, can you imagine what I look like, what the day time in I'd be like, fuck your photo shoot, I'm here wearing a garbage bag. Basic.

No, because I have.

Mentioned the garbage bags under my eyes, I'm not doing this.

I have a like a backpack skin care bag. So I had just done my like refresh, so I had I just looked like I'd just woken up.

Yeah right, see, that's some unfair That's not how you meant to look on flight.

It's very handsome anyway.

How we were talking of it on Monday the last episode about you don't like people wearing big trench coats, big winter coats.

In Australia at home.

Yes, Sean wears that ship on a flight, and I'm like, god, really, he just never wears comfy shit unless he's at home with me. But like when he's out, even on a flight, he will wear fucking boots and trousers and a belt and a button up and a jacket. And I'm like, that would be so uncomfortable.

I'm convinced Sean is trapped in the thirties, the way he dresses sometimes, the way he speaks. He's so kind, he can't speaks like he's got a Transatlantic accent at times, like Mitchell to see you. The war is coming, the Iron curtain has fallen. I'm like, watch Mitchell's coming for dinner.

I love Should I get me started on Steve.

We both have twin boyfriends, now, you know.

Yeah, that's generous for you to call Seawan.

Awe sew a twink.

Absolutely.

I thought there was an expiry date on a twink.

Yeah, twinks to twink. But if you really twink about it, Sean isn't there yet because he still is so so slender and rather hairless.

Up up on first glad please really, Yeah, Harry, I keep trying to convince him to stop shaving your chest hair because A I like it and B he keeps getting rakes and bumps. Yeah, And I'm like, you can just deal with trim, like if you want to shorten it so it's not as thick, but no, he insist on shaving it close and then he gets the razor bumps on the chest.

A pimple chat.

Today, all those young guys falling into that trap. Don't shave for your man's not doing it for me.

No, No, you're right. Actually you want it to be hairy. Yeah, that's what I say to Steve. I'm like, do you need me to do anything? Is not keep it the way you.

Are that yeah, but he hasn't thrown hair yet.

He has grown hair yet. That makes it sound gross, Jenna, plenty of hair. Oh do you know what I got him? Speaking of skincare and pimples, I got into this thing. I saw it at Mecca. I'm like, oh my god, he'll love that. You will love it too. It's dermal logica. It is butt acne spray or chest or body acne spray. It's a spray that you put on your butt or your chest after or before you after you shave it, or if you've got a pimple on your body. No razor bumps ever. Again, it's incredible.

Oh wow is T Tree spray?

Yeah?

I used that because I used to get really bad raisor bumps on my neck, but not anymore. A bit of T Tree hereh I use my red light mask a charge triple. What chemist's warehouse do it for a bit of fucking T Tree? Right?

No, I think Mecha can do no wrong. In my eyes. I'm a beauty Beauty Loop level three member. I'm teetering on the edge of three two?

Are you yeah? What it does?

Inity Loop?

I really loved it.

The ice cream that I got I'm using today.

Oh nice bag nine.

It's so expensive though, Like I found a Retina for half the prize and it does the same ship.

No, it's not high quality. Where'd you get it from?

What are you saying about my face?

Amazon? Door, Dash Day? Whatever the fuck it was?

It actually was? Yeah, it was it really yet. Yeah, but I'm a good ship. Yeah, but what's the brand?

Tell me the brand?

I can't remember, but it's just Retinal and it did the same thing that yours did from Mecca for half the price.

Yeah, but at our fortieth everyone ill think it's my thirtieth and your fiftieth bullshit, But where they will If you keep up this attitude, you won't live to see your forties. Invited but no death welcome. It is just me. Every show we start with and threat three. Yeah, yeah, something we've noticed something we hate to appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I do not know Mitch's yes and.

Is it just me? Each and who wants to go first? I'll tell you what mine' about if you want, Yeah, go for it. You mentioned back acne, Well, mine's about back burners.

What's a back burner?

You have to stick around it?

Fine?

Now, how do I feel like? I know that I'm thinking of backwash when someone has the last sip of your fan turn And.

It's nothing to do with bush fires, like back burning? Nothing like that either. Oh, be a backburning it'll make sense.

Really? Yes, this sex position? You want to come over to Martin? Backburn just rub backs? That's not very fun. Yeah, yeah, it's not good? All right? Shall I do mine? Sure?

Go here?

Is it just me?

Is the bedtime back? Baby?

It's in like eight thirty as a chime?

Oh my god, I am so into bedtimes now, you're I can fuck with a bedtime. I was one of those crazy loons. And I think you knew this, Mitchell, Jenny, since you don't want to talk as much as you did after we've slept together that one time. I'm really it's been so tense, but.

Eight back burning from here. I have never had a bedtime.

It's partly because I were even as a child oh, like as long as I can remember, no bedtime what Yeah.

Oh, it was so strict. It was like clockwork. As soon as the clock hit eight thirty. Of a child, it was toilet teeth. Oh, and we had to go to bed. So I imagine how devastated I was when they bump Mcloud's swaters from seven to eight thirty.

No.

See, I couldn't say I watch it. I had a bedtime to tape it.

See, I've got the opposite of that. I fell in love with like late night TV and Rove Live. Because I sit in bed watching Rover. He probably came on at ten pm.

It must be nice.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but that's just a cheery family.

I always wanted a TV in my room.

But yeah, we have. I had the old second hand TV.

But also, in hindsight, they were onto something because I had way more energy at school the next day, didn't I totally? When I started saying up late, I was like, why am I drownd?

Yes, I flung school like I was terrible in school. But my point is, as an adult, I'm not talking about childhood. Ben. Yeah, so if you you know.

I'm just shocked you never had one.

No, never had one. But I never really had one, really me, No, but the butler would have come in and said, no time for bed he's to her.

Yeah, anyway, time you've got a bed time now, Champagne, I have a bedtime now.

In the last I don't know, three months, I've established myself a bedtime.

What time.

Well, here's the thing. I work until ten pm, my radio shows out at ten. I'm home at like ten thirty, ten forty five. My bedtime is eleven fifteen sharp.

That's actually around the time I go to bed two. Really.

Yeah, it's hard for me because I like him home. I can have a shower that I'm in bed by like eleven. Everyone's asleep, so there's no one to talk to.

Well, you've just found out that that's not true. Yeah, I want a good night text every night from now one place you don't.

Want one, Jenn, I got a bed at nine.

Yeah, she's get up early.

This is what I want to talk to you too about because two of the famed bedtimers. But I love it. Let me tell you why. There is not much you get from staying up super late, but there is so much you get from waking up super early.

That's true.

You see the world in a different light. There's an energy in the air. Yeah, there is so much time. I remember the first time I did it. I woke up at seven thirty. You know where it came from, coming back from the States, a jet lag. I was up at six thirty.

Yeah, and then you're like, god, it's only ten thirty. Oh my god.

I had boiled eggs, I went for a walk, I came home. I saw a friend and had coffee at the beach, came home nine to forty five.

Yeah, fuck me, they're going, oh my god. Around decide if you wake up at ten thirty, you go fuck the day started. Yes, yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you.

I'm sorry. Maybe I'm old, maybe i'm aging. But how good is a bedtime? Get around it? If you don't have one, just try putting one in place.

I had to literally medically induce the bedtime. That's why I've been taking the meloton and tablet.

So when's yours? You do eleven fifteen ish?

I take them because you meant to take the melotone in two hours before you intend to go to bed, So I take them at like eight thirty nine, o'clock.

Wow, hard to time though, not really? Have you ever popped a MELLOI? And then Sewan's going, hey, hey, let's you know it's.

Not a sleeping pillar. Doesn't knock you out. You still very much have control.

But wouldn't you be mid and be tired like the melotone is kicking in?

Not really, because your mind's another things at that point?

Yeah, yeah, what things?

Oh you know you're not a virgin.

No I'm not. I'm not anyway, it's hard to instill a bedtime when you're as gorgeous as I am, and you're in a relationship, you know.

At your parents' house, when he's allowed sleepover.

It is so hard. It's actually very hard. And so is having him over with my parents around.

Oh my god, think about it. We're getting into my age and now, thank you very much, then we come back.

Is it just me?

Do you have a bunch of dumb projects on the back burner?

See what I see? Do the nice work?

Yeah? I guess, yeah, just like little projects you've set yourself and you're like, one day, I'll get around to it one fucking day. Yeah, But if it's not really a priority, like what I've got so many, Like every time I'm wiping the bench down, I'm like, you know what I want to do. I want to start making my own cleaning products. They're gonna be organic. Go to see his essential oils. Next time this bottle of fucking

Yeah, I'm like you, except when I finally do it, it's the I feel like I am king tut the best in the world. I've wanted to try temperature protect hairspray because I blow dry my hair.

If you want to have.

You gone all this time without using hair protector, that's not a project. That's just fucking common, sane.

But I wanted to make my hair oily.

It doesn't.

But every morning I'd blow dry my hair and my scalp would be hot, and I'd think, God, I really should get protector. I'm going to buy it. Never do it, never do it, never do And then I got it in a beauty loop bonus at Mecca, and oh my god, thank god I did.

Yeah, it doesn't make your hair oily or anything. In fact, it'd be less brittle than if you would just burn it, burning your hair past.

I have been seriously, my hair is really it's amazing.

And you just don't set yourself. Yeah.

Oh, there's so many projects I've got to around my house as well.

Yes, things like that. Yeah. One of mine that I've been putting off for years is you know, like the square bits of foam that they have in studios for soundproof. Yes, So I had this idea that I wanted to buy a bunch of those and then stick them on a bit of cardboard because I didn't want to put them on a wall because they don't have to commit to a spot. Yeah, I wanted to put them on cardboard so that it's portable and no matter where I'm recording,

You know what I've wanted to do. That's on the back burner. And I actually think I'm going to do it. I have a whole bunch of clothes. I'll go to my drop and I go, I'm never going to wear that. I need to sell it. I really should sell it, and I'm going to go to the markets.

But I thought that Stephen was going to do that.

Stephen has Yes, he did it for me, So I guess it's not on the back.

In the back veenor anymore. You're delegated.

No, no, no, no. I have a pile in my room that I keep adding to and I'm adding to it. I'm adding to it anyway. This week I've spoken to someone and there's like a reseller in my local area. They're going to do like a rack of my clothes I'm going to sell it. I'm going to do it. And that's happened this week.

Wow.

Yeah, sh sh because I did a big clothes cull this week and fuck me, I literally ran out of garbage bag. Yeah, because that's how many clothes I'm getting rid.

Of, Mitchell. This is a whole thing. I'm on the fly. I did not know this existed. It's I don't even know what you'd call the service, but this place is called Venla Google it v E N l A. They do like designer and then non designer clothes. You buy a rack, so it's one hundred dollars. You rent a rack one hundred dollars to rent rack in the store. You put as many clothes as you want on it, as many shoes, as many accessories, and they sell it

But I don't know if there's going to be much demand for like the thin ass T shirts I got from the JJ's DFO in twenty twenty one. Yeah, I don't know if anyone's going to want to get their hands on that.

You definitely have to, Carl.

I paid fucking Vinnie's prices for it at the time.

Yeah, look, it might not work for all your items. I'm having to Carl. I've got some old six Excel shirts that I said, can I put this on? We have enough bed sheets. I might know that's a shirt. So I potentially had to do a similar thing to you. But that's what I'm doing. And it feels so this week to have got one of those backburn tasks.

Yeah, I've got another one that I did attempt and it didn't work because you know how I used Dinnerly to make my meal.

I saw them last week.

Yes, yes, and I'll tell anyone that listens blood we love Dinnery, get amongst it. And so they used to send all the ingredients, but you had to have like the little things like salt, pepper and garlic. I'd just had a jar of mince garlic, so if they said add garlic, spoon, PLoP in. Done so easy. And then all of a sudden and they started sending cloves of garlic with everything that required it. And I was like, no, no, no, no, I don't want to get my fingers smelling all future,

I've got the jar.

I'm good. So every week they send at least fucking three cloves of garlic, and they just pile up, pil up, And I was like, you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to mince them myself when the jar is empty, and I'll turn it into mince garlic.

I love that.

It's impossible to mince garlic yourself.

It's very hard.

Really.

I put it in the neutral bullet, which still stinks to this day, mash it art. I'll put a bit of olive oil in it. It just all went green. So that's not good.

Okay, So there's certain things that maybe don't need to ever get done.

Yeah, I tried it. It failed. I wanted to mince my own garlic. There's a garlic surplus in my friends at the moment, I don't know what to do. I'm more garlic than human at this point.

We ever wanted to tell you that you've had fucking stuffy lass, but it's left.

Thank you?

Is it just me?

You can follow the show online just saich A couple of mitches.

If you don't, you're a little bit all right, now, time for a segment we haven't done, i'd say in almost a year.

Okay, yeah, now you're probably right more than that.

Well, it's because when we first started this podcast, we were sort of the pioneers in the podcast space. You know, we were kind of the first queer podcast is out. We were huge.

That's a big call.

Like how you said we were huge?

We we we we we are now very huge.

If you had a bit j Jo theemer inventing pop music, you think you invented the queer podcast?

What do you mean iconic? We just we had a good run at the start. But we also got a lot of our own press. We were on television because we hustled. We got signed to iHeartRadio because we hustled. We got our listeners because we hustled. So you know, maybe we're a bit complacent because the sheer success and money we have now, but it.

Was all a part of this segment more than correct. Come on, baby, you know you got a hustle.

Correct, You gotta hustle is a segment we thought of in order to get some promotion for the show. Hustle hard to get this show heard.

And but it's not just like posting something on Instagram. It has to be like unique and out there, some sort of weird way of promoting the show. Like there was one time I hijacked this very very early day. It's probably episode two. I hijacked your interview with Tarmi and I just dared you to use subliminal messaging, and you had to use the phrases is it just me podcasts and listen Damian's mid sentence and you just go podcast interrupted.

Wasn't subtle, It wasn't listen.

I had a hussle.

That's exactly right, had a hussle. Baby. I would like to say, meet, you've been hustling. I went to your stand up show. You mentioned the podcast.

Yep.

To me, that was a hustle. I was impressed.

Yeah, because there were obviously a lot of our idiots there, but then there were some people that it's like, I watch your TikTok videos. Yeah, well fucking I'm going to convert you totally.

It impressed me. I've been hustling, and I wanted to obviously, rather than telling you, I wanted to show you. Sure, So I've been hustling on my radio show. I have two radio shows, the night show on Kiss Actually, if you're in Australia listening, it could be on your local Kiss FM seven to ten. And at night we do very well. The rating is the best I've ever been. Thank you. And this was a call that I had to my show last week. A caller called he won tickets to choice of n It was a lovely moment.

Yes, that was the gayest thing ever hearing you mumble your way through a spread.

I mean, thank you so much, and i'd have to say I love I love you and Mitchell Coombs on the podcast, I mean, you know, well, why are you being you know, asked just for the Japan episode and a couple of mists.

Yes, yes, that's fine, it's fine, Yes, that's my podcasts went on and went on and went on.

You just said that's my podcast. Did you mention the name of it?

He said? Is it just me? And I love Mitchell Coombs.

I would suggest that Ben was the one hustling that he gave us the shout you sounded on this embarrassed. You're like, yes, yeah, that's my podcast.

I wasn't even in the Slider's Ben, that's not you hustling.

You can't claim that.

I could have shut him up. You know, I've got a lot of power on that show. So and I let him speak, and I let him continue. I've control of the buttons. I could have muted Ben's Did you.

Consider that a hustle of yours? By allowing someone else to hustle?

Correct, we just got ourselves an extra seven hundred thousand eyeballs and earballs across the show. Well, thank you for that, Ben, That was lovely. So then on the Pickup, I thought, well, you know, Mitchell won't be happy. I know I knew you were going to say that. I knew you'd say, Oh, but Ben did it. I just didn't tell Well Bet he did, Thank you, Ben.

I just think credit where it's due. Correct, the one hustling there? It was? It was our Benny boy.

Well you're gonna have a problem with this. Fuck what because I'm the Pickup which I also host, which show with Brittany Hockley and Laura Burn. They also have the hit podcast Life Uncut.

I've heard of that.

Are you hustling for them?

No?

No, I'm giving them a plug now. I love the girls, two of my closest friends. I love them. However, on the podcast, which is live on the Pickup, then lives on the Pickup podcast feed, and then he's also on the Life on podcast feed.

Okay, she's being heard by a lot of people.

This happened this week.

At which has his own podcast.

It's got a couple of mitches, very funny.

It's actually is it just me? The brand is your fault by a couple of mich Oh.

You could not screwtch that. I listen all the time. It's got this really big podcast called Mitchen something else. That's good.

There was actually more there, but that was gleen of them to give us the shout, and good on you for correcting them.

Thank you.

I'm sure if someone searched a couple of mitches we'd still come up. But yeah, no, you're right, that's the name of the podcast.

Look, I'm not I'm not. This isn't really for me. I'm just saying you've hustled in your way. I've hustled in my way. Jenna hustle all the time.

Mona Jenna is downstairs. They all ask me about.

It, but they don't know the context of that. They thought that, you know that Jenna's colleagues, she's got her Mona Jenna poster up near her desk, which it's for sale right now a couple of minutes, do you think georgeous which is part of our merch, and she's got it there and her colleagues, or that she just thought it would be funny to photoshop herself onto Mona Lisa and print it. I realized it was part of the podcast.

I explained to them that they're stupid because it's part of podcast merch.

I've given millions of ease exposure to this, which has given tens of millions on his socials. Jenna, I challenge you to somehow get a mention of is it just me on to your breakfast show Jones.

And Amanda, which we're allowed to say the title.

We can say the title of that's the show Jenna works out here at the network. And I also say you can use the idiots. If an idiot calls through to the Jones and Amanda show and does mention is It just Me? Maybe say I love Jenna from the Is It Just Me? Podcast? That counts as an Infragen, Well, we.

Do have a regular caller who calls into the show that I work on, Jess from Penrith. I think, yeah, Jess, I'm counting on you. I'd like you to slip it in somewhere when you call us again next time.

Why are we challenging the listeners? Why can't Jenna do it? Is it the sort of show where you can just buzz in because they seem to drag you into that studio if you sneeze, tell us the story of Jenna.

Yeah, they do love me, but you can't buzz in Jenna.

If you can get a mention in without using a call it great?

Or how about since you run the WSFM Facebook page, that's your job. You just go rogue and post one of our videos.

Accidental cross posted.

She could just argue that, oh, it's part of iHeartRadio, you know, part of the family. I think you should go rogue and just post one of our videos. Okay, you should post that one of us discussing if there was an extra medium sized shirt would it be bigger or smaller? That blew up?

Actually, I will could you get away with that?

Actually? You know what? Post that Barley reel that we deleted. The ws audience would love it.

No, they would actually love it.

I don't even do you know how many gross listeners of WSFM would probably go to Barlei twice a year.

They'd kill us in the streets. All right, Jenna, your challenge.

Officially is a challenge accepted challenge is not much of a challenge.

You know.

I've got a challenge on my behalf. I'd also like it on the listener's behalf, and I'll do it on the social behalf.

And which I think that within the next week we should both do some sort of hustling and come back and present what we've done. Okay, okay, I've got some ideas out of the box, not just posting on Instagram. It's something that reaches an audience we don't already have.

Okay, Oh, amazing, amazing. Well, I will say I had an influx. I have had it. Noticed it influx.

You can get a tablet for that.

I had an influx of callers that say, by the way, love the podcast calling through to my radio show. It's so cute. So could you listen to any of the radio shows tell me an idiot because we love it.

Please please say and we will talk back next week. I've got some cooked ideas.

I got a can't wait.

You've got a hustle girl.

As Helen Keller once said, this podcast is fucking dope you're listening to Is it just you now?

One of my favorite pop girlies is let Me Down?

Oh no, can I guess if you want?

Okay, there's quite a few to pick from. Remember we were talking last week about artists that you associate with people. I've got quite a few that you associate with me yep, yep, ROSSI yeah, thrilled to have her. It's part of my collection as well.

Webhurt, that's a good one.

Go and keep guessing out of my cop girl, Gretel, Colleen, I don't think you're taking this game seriously.

Bridy Carter, She's not.

A pop girl. Who is Bridy Carter?

You got her on the show.

Had to text her, I had to call her, and preppermclos of course volet she fell into the ditch.

Okay, okay, you're it's not Katie Perry.

No, she's not let me down yet.

Who else?

Who do you like?

Adele No, Christian Chennoy? Okay, getting Bard.

I just tell you we're having this is fun binger okay, player Michelle Mitchell said one.

Of my girls, we were going through this last week. Who were the artists you associated with me? It actually was one?

No?

Can we one more guess? Each? My god, why is this the most riveting part of the show.

We're like, oh, come on, my youve got a half. It's pretty good.

All right, you'll go first, Chris Bath.

The journalists here a bit, I said, a pop girl.

Have you heard fucking Chris Barth's latest single? Nay, because there isn't.

One headlines headlines?

Okay, one more guess? Take it seriously, I am you'll get a type back if you get it from me.

Stay to me with your mind.

Time.

You can't live Breaf for ship, Harley Breid.

And Rosciano.

No, who is it? I'm actually enjoying this part because this comes through lips. I didn'ts in her name. That's a fucking clue.

Olivia red Rigo, I'm.

Going to up the stakes in this game. What if I give you one second?

One of her Very Night Show.

Okay thirty one and six five. If you know who thinks this song, give us a call. Here we go, ready, Oh Lily Alan, Lily Allen, he's got it. You get a tight bag?

Well done. Oh yes, she's not very rich, but I've got lots of money.

Yes, that's her. Lily Allen was in the headlines this week. It was a shocking, shocking story. I think it deserves a breaking news thing songly Lily Allen admits she has no idea how washing machines work.

To be fair, same babe.

Right, I thought when I read that headline, neither do I. I don't understand the mechanics of the fucking machine.

Yeah, I don't get how plane works. But I'm not going to the press about it.

You just chucked the clothes in, press the button and Roberts your mother's mother it clean. Yes, that's how it works. And I'm thinking, why is this a news story? And then I clicked through and no, No, she just doesn't know how to use one.

Yeah, what does she wash her clothes?

Exactly right? So she spoke about it on her podcast It's called miss Me. She's gonna she does? She does it's pretty big. Yeah.

Can I let you into a secret.

Yes, I don't know how to use washing machine.

That's bullshit because you're such a homemaker, I know.

But I just have this fear of like shrinking and dying clothes, so I just don't do it.

David and the kids do the washing.

Well iron okay, iron stuff, and I can put stuff in the I don't even really like putting things in the dryer.

Yeah, that's where things really fuck up.

So that is where you should stay away from. Is it is that where it happens.

That's wear things shrink.

I can't do. I can't do the washing.

I also just get Yeah, I'm just like, I don't know what bit to put the stuff in.

I feel like I'm gonna, you know, ruin the machine.

Yeah, shocking ston.

I'm very confused.

What a fucking foolt Why would.

You iron dirty clothes?

No, her husband, David Harbor children and her mother does the washing for her.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, my mom does my washing, so I don't want to you live with her pop calling kettle.

True, but that hasn't always been the case. You've lived out of home. Do you know how to use a machine?

Very well.

Yeah, there you go, and I feel like no one teaches you. You just fuck around to find out correct. I don't know what you go in the draw. I just throw powder somewhere in that little tour at the top and just nothing's gone wrong.

Can I add something to this?

Yeah, that's how it works. It's a podcast.

Do you mind. I don't know how a fucking microwave works. I make up the time, every single exactly microwave session a minute thirty Why not.

If it becomes a bit volcanic, you stop the mic, you blow.

On it for a bit. If it's not, if it's cold in the middle, another twenty seconds.

Lily fuck a maund to find out my life? How has she gone like, I'm I mean two minds. I'm like, what the fuck, Lily, that's weaponize in competence. Yeah, it's partially genius, Like, oh, I don't know how to use washing machines. I have a fear of them. And she's come this far in life, age thirty nine, never having used it. No one's pulled her up and said, it's a very easy fear to conquer. My love fucking put the clothes in the machine. But then on the other hand,

True.

I feel like it's also because she's always been rich, because she's a nepo.

Baby, that's the thing. She fucking has come this fuck cos playing as working class.

But baby, who's her dad? Peter Allen?

It's someone of significance, held on, let me google that. I can't remember, I've listened to an audiobook.

Kin't even when she's also added to the wealth because she's dating Eleven's dad from Stranger Things.

They're married Keith Allen, a Welsh actor television presenter.

Although you know she mustn't be that well off because we spoke about it on the pickup. She is selling her feet picks feet picks on only fans google it. She actually can, I say, has the best looking feet. I actually got a halfy what I've ever seen in my life? Google Lily Alan feet.

I'm nursing a seemi at the thought.

They're really they're actually gorgeous.

Well, why does she need to sell them? If I can just google it? I'm seeing it now, Isn't that is a supple foot? They're not bad?

Maybe she might do videos and stuff.

Yeah, perhaps people, because you can play with people play with their penises with feet. Have you seen those videos?

No?

I haven't, but I've heard a lot about them. They jerk off your foot with two feet.

Oh that doesn't sound practical, like bitch, No amount of polates is gonna help me sustain that movement for more than thirty second legs up and pulse.

Yeah, oh my god, let me try also with my amount of tinire, you'd be shaved.

Off your microphone with your feet right now?

Yeah, you know what? Sure in my head I might should I?

Yeah, yeah, do it all this segment going?

Here we go?

Oh it requires a lot of ab.

Yeah right, guy, hang on, stop for a secon. I'm going to time it.

I just did it.

Yeah, but I want to see how long you can keep it up for and three to one guy, Oh, he's got a cramp. It doesn't sound easy, all right? Three two one?

Oh sir?

Sorry, Oh god, no, he's gone limp, done.

Dirt.

Okay, that was four seconds, and your Mike's basically just.

Broke the worst bottom in the world.

I know it.

Ea that she was selling feed picks.

Wow, she must be a little broke daddy's trust fund must have dried up.

Don't talk about my Lily Rose Beatrice Allan like that.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, I mean with a name like that.

Dumb fucking name very British, isn't it very very rare?

It's Beatrice Allen, Beatrice Allen.

I was thinking about this. This is just me on the fly? Or was Jack the Ripper?

Ripper? Hardly?

The name does not equate to the crime.

What did he do?

It kind of makes it fun and mystical, you kind of think. I think Jack the Ripper, I think like a barber's knife, and he would like slit the throat on a misty, foggy London street and run off in a trench coat. He gutted women and he pulled out their guts and.

On the streeper. Doesn't really do enough justice.

Yes, I pictured him in like a dark alley ways, you know, petticoat, Yeah, with like a life and would just go.

Wearing a petticoat and.

A fool idiot. I wasn't even in a chic way now, would like cut people's eyeballs out and the heart out and lay them on the ground.

He was like sadistic. Wait, how do we even get on the topic of Jack the River?

Oh no, I checked off a microphone.

Yes, with your feet, didn't even take your shoes off.

Your pick come on, Beatrius and then London name.

And then I had the thought, well, you know, Lily, fucking learn how to do it.

Come over, little I'll show you. I'm still making it up as I go long. I only found out all too recently it has a filter. You're meant to Oh yeah, I found that from top over the phone. She goes, okay, the filter you just kind of pull it and step back. Immediately, I was like, why is that all the ship going everywhere?

It could can catch a light.

Wait, are you thinking of the dryer? I don't think the washing machine is going to catch a fire if the.

Filters one to yeah, do that to the link catcher.

The dry could catch a light, for sure. So much link.

Sometimes I've actually smelt burn and going Sean, have your fucking coats clogged up the link filter again?

Oh, here's so many coats. I'm so sorry.

The wheels are falling off this episode.

We should go, We need to what was happening? Even the micro police this Mike's just been jerked off. I think been burped out the list of it's.

Worries your mouth.

Why it was like something possessed you.

You were.

Jack half fuck?

Oh my god? Is you're on the fly striper name Jack the Stripper.

That's lazy, mate, you can do better than that.

Jim's mowing spin off.

Jack the Clipper FedEx side company, Jack the Shipper. Oh no, I can't think of anything, So dam I go on the naughty boy to party.

Jack the skinny Dipper. I couldn't think of when you're skinned it.

Damn, I can't think of anything.

When you're a lifeguard.

Yeah, Jack the nipperould.

Come on, you need one gender out dumb me at this game?

That's good nippers? Yeah, I've got one.

What he does wine tasting?

Yeah?

Jack the sip? Oh that was mine?

That was mine? Well done?

Right?

Should we go?

Yeah?

Anyway, Lily can't use a fucking washing machine?

I guess.

Yeah.

No, we'll see the matter.

A man who fixes zippers, Jack the Zipper.

You can't say the reveal within the setup.

You also can't start laughing twelve minutes before the punch shot.

There is someone that fixes zippers called a zipper.

I don't know I would have thought seamstress Jack, the same stress.

It doesn't have the same ring to it, does it.

It couldn't work all right?

Well, that brings my birthday week to a close. Ye, catch you all next.

Year, correct? Shut up? That means my birthday's next start planning September? When it is September thirty? First, it's thirtieth thirty first?

Fuck's not.

Bye?

You need to catch you on Monday?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to ad A D brief. This is our secret segment on the ndwhere usually we go rogue at this point, what's happened? I don't know what's happened something.

I think it's that cocon.

Sugar already.

Fu when not?

Also, there's only thirty days in September a full you're the fool. You fell for it full?

When to come back? Jenner?

You're the fool? I know you?

What?

Abu?

When's my birthday?

You know what's interesting? June eighth of June fourth?

Get fucked? You told me the opposite last day?

You guess say then as well?

The other way around. Jack the fibber finally I'm back in the game.

Well, d yeah, that's about it, really, you know now that I'm uncle Stephen loves video essays, Jack's been learning spells.

Jack the Wicker, Yeah.

I mean that's probably the last one. We'll do Love Stronger. How many things can you rhyme with?

Ripper?

A man who looks at a chocolate store.

Yeah, Jack the snicker.

That makes sense, Snickers bars.

Oh, guys, the star player in the Sydney FC. His name is just remembered. Jack the Kicker.

Fucking now, you know the.

Guy who sells underwear. Jack the Knicker.

Carefully doesn't swallow.

That's why they call him Jack the spitter. I'll come on, fuck with that was good.

What about the kid the nickname of the kid?

I wouldn't have said kid right after spit o fucked.

There was a breath. The sixteen year old who licks the fruity frosty fruit ice cream. You know they call him Jack the liquor.

Oh, you gave away the answer within the setup as well. Yea, because I got scared because you said the kids nothing, Jack the triggered No.

What about those podcast hosts who are jealous of us? You know, let me get the list the main one. All right, hey it you know, Jack the Bitter.

Jenna time to go home?

Yeah, I think I think we're done with that.

We guys, we get to a point when it's preak peak comedy and we just kill it. Yeah, like Jack the Ripper, I watched.

Unsold Who the Clockmaker?

Jack the Ticker? End it there?

Yeah, that was nice. More please, for the love of God, I won't although it's important on that day, Yeah, to pay respect to those who made the ultimate sacrifice. Jack the Digger, ye.

Drinking. Jack the Bruising is related to Kelly Ripper from the Real Housewives franchise.

Couldn't tell ya.

Dreaking Jane Leana would come back on this show. Got her podcast failed, didn't it?

I think we killed that. It's part of the curse.

Yeah, are you cursing?

Moore?

Saw?

You're posted in Jurian Idiots.

The podcast curse where if we appear on their show and they appear on ours, they wrap up soon after because they just think, well, what, we can't compete, can we?

That's she wanted to appear on the Cat podcast and that got canceled before you even appeared on it.

Sometimes I don't even have to do anything, just expressed an interesting Now it's gone.

I think it's you because I've been on other podcasts and they haven't been canceled.

Are you sure? Yeah?

I been on Life on Cut and they weren't canceled. From Strength to Strength, give it time. Don't wish that upon my dearest friends, Brittany and Laura Burn.

Brittany and Laura Burn and Brittany Laura Hockley. Anyway, what's some other ship we could talk about? Well, it's just losing our mind.

See Stephen, are you guys across the concept of video essays?

Oh?

Yeah, what is that?

Steven's got me onto video essays? So it's like an essay, like a written piece of work, but it's presented by a YouTuber who sits in front of a camera and just presents the essay they've written over like two hours.

See I probably could have guessed that like a documentary.

Yeah, but I'm trying to set it up for the fucking idiots.

Do they have cutaways? That are? They just talk.

Cutaways and heaps of examples. It's actually a really entertaining way to consume like a topic because you can't see it is nothing entertaining about an essay. Stephen made me watch one about how sex and comedy are actually heavily intertwined and they have they share a lot in common.

But I feel like.

I'm so interested in Yeah, give us an example, like power play.

How Like in comedy it's often the trope of like making big people seem really or really small people seem really big, like reducing someone's power or making someone really small really big.

It's the same in sex, like with power like, I've to send it to you. I'm good, Jenny, would you like it?

No, I'm busy. I have to hustle this week, so yeah you do.

Actually, anyway, video essays.

I've got a great city of how I'm going to hustle, nice spoilers, nice boilers. We're coming back next week with our homework. And remember you can't just talk about it on your radio show again. It has to be reaching an audience. We don't already have a crust think outside the.

Box that a clue to yours.

Vaguely it could be, but it wasn't meant to be.

You're going to text fore fee box, what's ther kids name again? Flapper box or something tricky box. Yeah, that's basically all I've got.

You know what I thought was really cute. Before I end my birthday week, I'll acknowledge one more thing. You did an Instagram post on my actual birthday on a couple of mitches, and I was so proud at how many of our idiots noticed that I was doing the pit pulls?

Did they let me check the comments the pit push?

Did you not see the comments? You're just posting ghost? Did you?

I posted? Am surprised I still had access to the Instagram. Oh, yeah, here it is. Are you good in that?

Thank you? I was so worried because you took those photos. Yeah, and I didn't get approval. I was like, he's going to choose the shittest one.

You look, So I put my face tuned default on. So did you?

Yeah? Oh, I gave you the tits teeth and too Bay?

What tit teeth? And too Bay?

What's that?

Puts on?

A fake wig? Brightens your teeth? I thought I was having a good hair day.

And left your chids.

Those flowers are barely even sag. Why do I need to lift my tits? Anyway? Yeah, thanks for noticing the pit push. You're looking through all right, Hey, I wouldn't look through all right. I feel like you're a bit upsets. His name's coming up more often than not.

I love all right?

Eh yeah, why do you keep bringing him up? I think you've mentioned him the last few episodes in a row, whether getting his name right or not, you've still brought him up. What's going on?

There? Is he?

Then?

You missing child? You shan't be named?

I haven't said much about Recently, this comedian did a viral stand up bit about Maddie a nice and that's where she is? What under thin eyes? Just gave me an idea psych what.

Like Walt Disney, she's frozen?

Hey, you want a conspiracy theory? Get this. You're don have a theory that Walt Disney's frozen. His head has been chopped off because he didn't want to die, so he wanted to be cryogenically kept your eye and he is. Theories that scarce people and little kids. So Disney went, we don't want people googling Walt Disney frozen. So what are they going to do? Make a movie called fro

Looking from? No, I'm not.

I'm not making that up.

There's theories that who's the one that sings let it go? To hybrid their names together? No, that's else Elsie Elsie. Yeah, I've heard theories that she's a lesbian. Whatever. If you did a hybrid of Mitch and Jenner Kenson, hang on, what would yours and Stephen's couple name?

Ben's that funny Mitchman.

No, it'd be Stevich.

That sounds stitch. That's not bad.

I don't know if I want to take his last name though, Jarmas.

Why did I not know his last name too?

You know what his last name is? Jarmus And he just got a dog, and guess what he didn't name it, p P Jarmas?

What an idiot?

What did he name it?

Bambi?

Bambie Jarmers.

It's a cute dog. Okay, Yeah, I like Stitch. Even's quite amusing to me.

Is good, although you do you Sean don't have a bull's.

Name, because either way it's not looking good for us either shit chill or Morn. I like Morn. Both of them are bad.

Morn is pretty cute.

It's not that means you're grieving.

No, that's but like m a u n.

And also he gets a majority of his name and I just get a pity little m it's a nice.

She chill.

Well, where's the E coming from? She s a Sean chill chill, but he's s e and it's a shitch. Oh yeah, you guys are But yeah, speaking of which I should get coming.

Did you have birthday sex?

We had this podcast at least better today. That's all just two percent.

Birthday sex is just take it a leave it.

I reckon.

This has been one of yours before. There's a lot of pressure birthday You said you don't like it.

That's why I think I'm destined to be straight, because you can have spontaneous fun sex. You can kind of like have a a half maybe lock hands, look at each other and go let me just fucking get up. Yeah, but when you're gay, it's like, oh, the preparation of the planet kind of put it in full stuff. Do you ever feel like that?

Well, yeah, so I do. I don't ever wish that. I'm straight. No, No, it'd be ideal if there was less adminutevolved. Sure, but you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.

You take what you can get and you give what you can get.

Yeah, anyway, are we leaving? Yeah, I don't know what's happened. There's some weird energy going on. You guys have gone a bit feral and rubbing off on me. If your name's Jack, yeah.

And you own own a bottle shop, the bottle shop, Jack the liquor.

No, Or if you're renowned for giving really good vaginal Jack the liquor, yeah, true, yeah.

And if you're good at giving vaccinations, Jack the pricker.

Yeah, really good yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, if you know your way around an EpiPen, Jack the pricker, or if you're a good cardiologist, Jack the ticker. I think that's been news. That's the thing with the clock thing.

Yeah, but different different set context. Yeah, different context makes it very funny. We can't just use the same one with different context. You could just go on forever.

This could just go round and round.

Yeah, Yeah. Anyway, re says Jack the Ripper, he was fucked. I believe it did moreful things in a betticoat too, serves him right, dumb bitch. Thanks for listening.

We'll catch you back on Monday. Yes, birtha week.

Mitchell hurting others, Jack the Whipper, Oh, you.

Could have gone something less dark than hurting others, like, oh, he likes rodeo and he fucking he hurds cattle, Jack the Whipper.

Yeah, but I don't want to whip the cattle.

Now, you don't whip them, You just make the noise to startle them. Yeah.

I know, but it was the first thing because I thought your finishings showing I had to get something in.

Yeah, you don't have to bring a salted Jack the Hitter fuck.

Okay, on that note, let's go. Thanks for listening, everyone, see you in a couple days. Bye.

Is it just Me a podcast by a couple of mechas.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.