#22: DIY Coffee Scrub with Nat Penfold

People do some weird ship.

It should in young people inhaling the gas from cooking canisters known as names to get high.

Some feelings make more sense than others.

Done everything for you.

My career on Hold could have been anything if I had the talent.

Bless yourself for observations. You didn't ask for his leadership. I think he's one of the greatest leaders we've ever had.

You.

Well, good, Just still a black couple of ritchies, one of us be Mi and the other Mitchell.

Just to make things easier, your Mitch, I only call you Mitchell when you're being annoying.

You always call me Mitchell. Oh no, he is Mitch, Julie and Mitchell kou Well, well, well here we are one man down, though we are poor Jana Comedia I got a.

Don't make jokes. She love her grandmother, so that's very sad for her. She's not here this week. But fortunately we'd already lined up a guest host to be on the show this week. So the third wheel has just been replaced with another wheel, and this particular guess one of your types, Mitch and radio presenter. Yes, she's on error to the age ninety six one for the drive home and kiss.

Her name is nat Penfald.

She's here, Hello, very excited to be here.

And yes, poor Jenna, I made a couple of inappropriate jokes without this morning, not knowing what had gone down.

I might have to apologize.

He said, she was in the bathroom, right.

I was in the bathroom with her and just being inappropriate as I am. I walked in and said, Jenna's doing a ship and then and then she's like, now I'm not. And then after she came out of the cubicle, I went in, of course, as you do, and went and checked to make sure you do well.

I was just like, oh, but you did. And she's like, there's napping in there, and I was like, she's covering up and.

Yeah, there were no skitties, but she just used the brushses.

We're thinking of Jenna.

We love it a bit, And little did you know she was grieving.

Yeah, she's in the.

Toilet crying and I'm choking for skitty.

She's had a big one and it made a tear up and she's like, no, I'm mourning. Oh, Jenn, I feel awful. But yeah, you're also a fellow shiron.

Sure never heard that one before.

From the Yes, we we kind of knew each other before we started working here.

Yes, I think your sister was in the year below me at school.

Yeah, she was a right bitch too, didn't you believe what did you believe her?

Look, I probably believed. I'm not proud of these moments. But yes, we're both from the shy, the same school. I forget that, but you're I don't like it. I was trying to avoid this part.

You're quite a bit younger than It's fine, No one knows we look the same.

I've had some injections, but that is probably that's what I thought.

I walked on Instagram. People can go check out what your face looks like. Look, I don't think i've gone penfold at that penfold.

Yes, of course, I don't think I've gone too far with the injection.

You've got a good amount.

I'm trying to keep myself youthful.

Yeah, you do look it. But you do have worked together for years, right, You worked at the Edge on making the name of the breakfast show.

Yes, I've actually brought a little grab with me because back in the day when we worked at the Edge, Natton and I did a little experiment because we realized that we both kind of had gender neutral voices. So I often get confused for a woman, particularly on the phone, and saying with Nat, she gets confused with it for a guy over the phone.

You sound like a masculine woman, and you sound like a gay man.

Exactly right.

Like if he looked at us and switched our voices, it'd make way more sense to here.

I am just yeah, the bush pig.

I was in a car with a friend listening to kids. I always listened to it, and someone's like, who's this guy? And I'm like what, They're like, that's a gay man.

Wait, who was it you?

It was you, Nat? I thought it was just a gay man. Really deep, No.

I know this happens.

And when I was younger, I used to try and make my voice more feminine, and I used to be like hello when I'd.

Answer calls from boys and stuff.

But then now I've just worked out that having a whiny, high pitched voice as a girl is probably more annoying, so I'm rolling with it.

But anyway, back in the day, we did these brank calls as an experiment. We both called I think it was Maya, one of the department stores and just asked to be put through to the clothing department to see where they put it.

They then which clothing department we need?

We both did one. Here's how mine went.

Oh hi, I came shopping the other day and I just had a question about the particular item of clothing that I purchased. Can you put me through to the clothing department please?

Any particular brand? Ralph Lauren?

Sure this is for women, right?

Yes, you make sure connecting you out, that's right, telling.

That's goal.

I wasn't surprised though, like it happens all the time, and even after I've corrected telemarketers and stuff on the phone or if I'm calling up about my shit Internet, I'm like, I'm not, mam. Can you stop calling me mam? I'm very sorry, ma'am.

I was like, no, I'm not, man. I don't know how to get that through your head.

I've been through McDonald's drive through before, and you know how there's a speaker box so they can't see you. That'll that'll happen soon, they'll put cameras on those things. But at the moment I'll order and then is that also.

I'm like, you're going to get a.

Our nuts went Hi boughts something the other day and it doesn't fit me. Could you put me through to the clothing department, please?

Clothing?

Thank you one moment.

Oh, mine's in particular. If I like, if I don't talk like I'm excited, it's when it.

Gets like if you're hungover all you'd.

Be fucking thought hung over his game over For me, it'd sound awful. Let's start coming up on the show, Coombs is making his famous d I Y coffee scrub.

I wouldn't call it famous yet, but it's been requested by listeners. Though it's basically bye roll.

People really seem interested about this.

Nat.

My boyfriend Hayden said to me, all I want is Mitch's coffee scrub recipe, and I'm like, why and how do you know about?

Before the lockdown? People have got time in their hands now, so.

I love that he wants to spend his free time making his skin an extra smooth as well.

I know what I want, healthy scratch.

I want to smell like a Macona extrastan.

I'm embarrassingly easy people. I'll tell it to you later on.

All right, Okay, that's exciting. Plus, Nat, I don't know if you know how the show works, obviously you're an avid listener. But we kick off the show each week with it. Is it just me? It's the core of the show. It's something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. I'm gonna go first this week because I just have to get mine off my chest. What's yours about? I want to give us a little taste.

I would say it's it's the moment that I realized just how much of a worse I really am, and.

That you've got one too.

Yeah, mine's food related with Oh is no surprise to anyone that would know me.

I'm very passionate about my food. So something that angers me about food.

You'll fit right out.

All right, let's start. I'm gonna kick us off.

Is it just me?

Do you not want to believe that Ellen DeGeneres is an awful person?

I know?

Have you heard about this?

Yeah?

Have you mitched?

I saw this the other day.

I haven't read into it yet, though, if it's all the tweets former staff members, yeah, she's a massive pain.

So it's like it's a couple of weeks old, but the thread is still being added to this. So yeah, to this day, there is over one hundred thousand likes on it. So the thread was started by a Twitter user named Kevin T. Porter and he has worked for Ellen for years, not anymore. He said, right now, we all need a little kindness, you know, like Ellen Degeneress always talks about. She's also notoriously one of the meanest

I saw this.

Thread, and the one that was the worst for me was did you hear about the one with the chick that worked at the restaurant with a nail polish?

Yes, like, it's just so stupid.

Ellen and Porsche. I love Porsche. Porsche just seems like a slave, doesn't she like on a leash? Porsche?

Yeah, Porsche de ROSSI Oh, yeah, that's she's got an Aussie wife. I forgot about that.

Yeah, but she's got she's got media.

I've done this. How we did celebs who don't use their real name?

Yeah?

Where the hell is it? Amanda Rogers?

Oh god, how boring.

This is one you were talking about. I worked at a restaurant in La served her and Porsche at brunch. She wrote a letter, handwritten to the owner complained about my chipped nail polish wasn't even on her plate, just on her hands. She worked all night till closing the night before, almost got her fired. Imagine writing a letter to someone about their nail polish.

A letter haven, and she went to all.

That effort to handwrite a letter. Is it the eighteen hundreds?

I'm a fan of it.

I'm a fan of a complaint email lea, Yeah, that's a lot of it.

An old friend worked with they were a lot, and smiled and said good afternoon to her. One day. After working for two years, Ellen became unhinged. Who do you think you are? You don't look at me, YadA, YadA, YadA. She said poor. She was there and seemed embarrassed and tried to pull her away. I'm not poor, Amanda Rogers. Ellen stopped darling.

Please don't No, she's the girlfriend at the party that you know that it's getting embarrassed by their partner being too drunk.

But I feel like, oh, please, like, don't do anything tonight. That's Ellen. But anytime she goes in public.

Now there's so many more. Go and read the thread. There's one about her firing and autistic worker because he smiled because that was just a sort of like a twitch that he had, and she fired him the day after he did it. She said, don't smile at me, and he did it again but he couldn't help it. She fired him the day after he started. See.

I love to jump to Ellen's defense and be like, oh, it's been in Bella. She's taken out of context, but I can't think of her context.

That's fine.

If this many people have joined the threat as well, because you could argue people just hate successful people and then jazz.

But if there's been this many tweets, it's just you have.

To believe where there's smoke, there's fire, there has to be some truth to it.

We all work behind the scenes in media, right. There is kind of a general understanding when you're in like a producing type role that you just you just keep the talent happy. You just give them what they want, not in like a cruel way, but you just kind of that's you understand, that's part of the job. It was funny when I was doing one of my Studio ten segments. When I was filming, I mentioned, oh god, I'm really thirsty. You feel like my mouth is dry.

Was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can get my own water, Like I'm fucking no. It was I just feel like people are kind of trained to do that, but when the demands get that bad, it's like, I.

Mean, I missed that memo because if I produce a breakfast show, if either of those hosts were like, oh God, I'm.

So thirsty, I'd be like, I'm not running in the kitchen for water.

Mike, you never had a very down to it, though I don't.

Well, that's what I want to know. We all work in the entertainment industry. We've all had our fair share of interaction with celebs. Have you met any that have just been real bastards or fuck faces? Like I can't I think of one. But it was a really bad scenario. Like it was. It was at a movie premiere and I met Hamish Blake and it was a very rush interaction. And I was like, maybe eleven, and I was so excited.

To know, Oh, but you did say something to him. I've heard this through that's a little bit creepy, so I can understand why he might have been a bit sandyst.

Were you eleven?

Yeah? I was probably eleven or twelve. Yeah, no, And I was like Hamish Hi, He's like hi, And I was like, oh, I've got a dog and I named it Hamish after you. He said we'll get a cat and David andy and walked off. It was funny.

That wasn't rude from you. You're eleven.

It's not like you meant anything by it, and you're not calling him a dog, you know what I mean.

About way I am, But that was all I've got.

Yeah, well, recently Kevin Hart came here. Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Kevin Hart. Was really annoyed by the fact that I wasn't here for it. So I was later told You're lucky you weren't here, because apparently he was just a fucking prick. Kept his Sonnies on the whole interview, and I was texting on his phone.

While they'll asking him questions.

You are kidding, so I was.

They said, never meet your heroes because you'll always be disappointed. So I was like, I'm glad I didn't because I find him so funny. I wouldn't be able to look at him the same if I knew he was a dickheads ocky.

We weren't here with a gay bash, just bas.

I was here. I remember they were like, oh, can you crop him on his phone out of the interview video?

So he was here as well.

Yes, when he was on with Kyle and Jackie, Oh thank god he was doing the interview with Tiffany head Dish because she it was so funny.

That's the same that happened with us.

So obviously he's all energetic and all that stuff, and then when it comes to real life, He's just.

She's new money like she wasn't she was living in a calf years so she still works. She's gracious.

Yeah, yeah, what about you, Mitch Well.

I feel like in our scenario, a lot of CELEBSI just hate doing press. It's just an obligation they have to do to make a bit of extra money. A lot of them don't like doing interviews, so you do catch them in a foul mood, which is why I don't. I don't blame Lily Allen for not being on her game the day that I met her, but I was very excited.

I was like, I'm going to get a photo with Lily Allen.

But she was just a bit apparently she was feeling a bit anxious and tired. So I was like, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna get up in her face.

That yeah, she was.

She was having an off day. Put it that way.

And a lot of the times, because they don't like interviews, you often can catch them on an off day.

Have I missed the part where anyone cares about Lily Allen? I'm currently sorry.

I'm kidding of one song. It's that it's not fair song, And does anyone care about it.

Yeah, you a new album is really good. I went and saw her live and your boyfriend was there.

Mitch.

Oh yeah, I'm reading a book as well.

When was Lily Allen ever a thing? Has she even had a song that charlted?

She was here last year? You shut your eye.

I'm not surprised I didn't hear about this appearance.

And we go back to the edge. Mate, you wouldn't know, You wouldn't know.

Well, I got my vent out, my ellen vent. Who's who's going to go next night? You want to?

I'll go next? Is it just man? No?

No, we've got a soundffect for that dune.

Sorry, I'm sorry. I played it and shows had to keep going.

You let me press my button. Okay, here we go.

Is it just me?

McDonald's cheers go cold if you don't eat them in thirty seconds, you have to, and therefore you have to eat the chips in the car. So McDonald's to me is car food. You can't get it delivered through a delivery service, and you can't buy it, drive it home and eat it because by the time you get there, there's something in it that makes it cold and shit.

Yeah, they're like just die after a year, but maccus dies after.

So if I get McDonald's, I will say to my partner and he'll be like, just like wait till we get home. Will eat it and said, no, it's done, Then I don't want it. Then I'm eating it now in the car while I'm driving.

If I have to, all that's illegal doing well.

I think the law is if if it affects the ability of your driving.

I've had a Shercuteri Ballbill driving not a job. I had Quinn's pace.

Joking.

Everyone understands and like, oh, yes, it's just crazy.

I kind of disagree though, because when I worked at maccas, there was this woman that would always come in and be like, can I have my fries hot and fresh? So whenever I saw her walking in the building, I'd be like, oh, she's coming quick, putting your batch down. But I never understood that because I'm kind of a fan. When they're skimming a bit sog.

Yeah, I have to agree with you.

When they're hot, you like so I like this.

I like the chips that bend over, you know, the ones that flop.

Yeah, there's a slippery slope between chips that bend over and are enjoyable and you bite them and they become like chalky.

Chalky, chalky, that's a good word for chips.

I also worked at McDonald's, and I know for fact that sometimes they just drop the same chips back in the fryer refry back in that day they did, they refried if you don't have a customer come through for a while. So you're best going during peak time because they're constantly making stuff.

Otherwise there's literally someone on chip duty during the peak times, but during off peak times it's usually just the person that's getting the food, or maybe one of the drink runners or whatever will have to do chips as well. But so when you've got a designation at a chip person making sure there's a fresh batches, that's when you're gonna get to.

The secret is to say no salt, so they give they have to make you fresh chips.

Oh, but you have to add your soul because you can't.

Have them, and they give me the chips. Oh, so sorry, can I get a little salt? Seash di y that this avoids the whole stale chips.

I realized because I finished work at midnight, so I often get the soggy chips, but I'm fine with that they don't make wraps. I had a fight with some woman over the box two nights ago over the box. Over the box, I was like, hi, pulled up and she was like and I was like, Hi, can I please get can?

They talk so fast?

So fast, and she's doing with their headset on what she's flying at eight three eighty. I'm like, bitch of sixteen, you're doing a TikTok while you taking my order.

You just listen to be so sad about life already.

I'm like, I'm top on the wadio, you're most to be hearing. And I was like, can I get a Chicken season wrapp? You don't have a Math twelve. I'm like, pardon, don't have Math twelve.

I was like, you don't have them after now, after midnight, after midnight, and I.

Was like, you're kidding me and she's like yes, And I was like to me, I'm not backing down. I was like, when did this come into effect? It's been for a while now, what has because I always get raps after all? And then she was like, you can do a bit chicken and I was like, did I ask?

Trying to tell me what it's that?

Or the ice cream machines in deep roast?

Is it ever not?

Or can I get a coke zerup? You can have grape. I don't want grape.

Do you know what? I've just realized.

It's because you know how they're trying to make They've got all day breakfast, but that's only the breakfast favorites, whereas during breakfast hours, which is midnight to ten thirty am, you have the whole breakfast range plus all day favorites, And so wraps mustn't be included in the all day favorite because when they go back to lunch men you ten thirty onwards, you'll be able to get the wraps. But see, you're complicated as a favorite.

Most people would just want your Big Max and your mc chickens, and you're going through asking for a whole meal grilled Caesar rapway.

Mulland you got a diet it's about The grilled is so much better because it's so moist. They must just keep it in a hot bath of oil. It's so Yeah.

I do love a half sauce because they put half the amount of mayonnaise and it might resemble something healthy that way.

I used to love a mini snack wrap, but I just don't think that.

Half sauce when they go to McDonald's, I'm asking it doesn't just happen. Go to McDonald's and get healthy food. It's like getting a whole large big macmeal with a diet coke.

And one of the worst is when you go up your order and then you try to mega, they go, so, what did you order again? I'm like, you're fucking kidding me. Yeah, you just yelled at this mechanical mesh and you don't know what I ordered. It's so fun.

You know what gets me when they try and double check your order, but they read out the whole thing in one send.

It's like the large big mat dab good dad, or read it.

In their own lingos.

They're like grill extra cheese and I'm like, I don't want to know that you've added a grill slip to my burger.

My final and anoyance.

With McDonald's, though, is when you get to pay, they always just now assume you're paying on card, so they've got to hand out the window with the attitude and the fox machine my cash please.

Know so much, to the point that they have a little le f post machine with a built in like Harley Davidson handle. They're like, and it's on this grip and I'm like, what is it like your tripod that?

And then this is you know what.

I've come to realize a lot of things frustrate me about McDonald's, despite the fact that I love it. They tell you to drive a wait in the waiting bay when no one else is there because they want their timers to be under because they obviously have.

To force so you know that they're competing.

There's like a timer that goes off and they have to give your food within X amount of time. Really, so if they put you in the waiting bay, they clear your thing off and then their timers stage.

The manager check the times.

Do you know that all the macas are competing because there's like a drive through scoreboard and they'd be like, oh shit, Blue Mountains overtook Forbes McDonald's.

That's where I worked. Planes are in front. You know. It's like it's a petition.

Yeah, that was one, but even has the highest camp this month.

That's why if you go in store, not that you can during rona season, but if you go in saw during peak, you're screwed because drive through is always.

Going to be a priority.

Wow.

Yeah, so you're not allowed, though, Mitch.

You're not allowed to have gripes about Macis because you don't come from the perspective that Nat and I do of being a former Macis employee.

You don't know the struggles.

Let me tee. I've invested so much in that fucking company. I paid for their twenty sixteen rebrand. The amount of money I'm putting it in.

Good pay for justin Timberlake singing Loving It five.

You don't know what the Mitches look like.

Just imagine Lisa Wilkinson and Princess Fyoda after sunset, or see for yourself.

Just search at a couple of Mitches on socials.

You're listening to Is It just Me?

After you've done that, you can search at Nat Penfold. Check out our.

Guest host what she looks like? What do you think people think you look like based off your voice?

I think they think I'm better looking than I am, So you reckon. I think people are going to be very disappointed.

Wow. I felt the same myself, deprecating when when I.

First I've heard I've heard Yeah, that's nice.

People are just so rude as well.

Oh and you're like, yeah, I know what I am, and I to me, my voice matches who I am because I've always had it.

It's just rudeness.

Hey, while, before we get into my is it just me Nat?

I have been working on something on the show, and I've been getting a guest host to contribute every time they come in. It's my list of things that are better than drugs and dick. So it's essentially an opportunity to look for the little.

Things in life. A lot of people are having to go without drugs and dick during isolation for coronavirus. So is there anything that brings to mind? Is something that you thinks?

You know, cleaning your ears?

What the little pleasures in life? That's as like an obligation.

There'd be many people out there that haven't cleaned the it is, Yeah, I haven't done.

I didn't.

I've twice to day. It's like an organism.

I don't know whether I accept that submission. Can I tell you the sort of other things that on the list?

Well, I like mine, but continue.

A cool a cool breeze, apples with a good crunch, a good quality fruit cutting night.

I don't see where mine isn't relevant taking.

Your bra off when you get home, climbing into bed with freshly shaved legs and clean sheets. Midge added, a high fiber shit that is doesn't leave a mess, fluffy socks on a cool evening.

I've been thinking too, A nice wet cheese, like a muzzle, like.

A barrada, like a barrata, like you love a good barada.

It has to be a wet cheese because it's such a beautiful consistency.

M See, I don't know. I think I'm more of a fan of a parmesan, a hard cheese.

Really, you got a grater that you can't gnaw on that?

I don't know, I reckon? I could?

You can always tell too, because there's a three teeth indense of cheese and it's just like teeth off the coon.

Alright, alright, I'll leave the cleaning ears on my list of things.

Well, yeah, I find it extremely satisfying, and you kind of brought it up on the spot.

So that's what I've got.

Well done.

That why did you do that?

Just should make her feel good. Just the quest.

I don't know what was happening.

It was like an emergency siren when I lockdown the end of the show, that.

The high score at the local macas driver. That's like the sad effects of maggots.

We've still got my DIY coffee scrub to go, but first my is it just me for the week?

Is it just me?

Do you find the news.

A little bit aggressive when they're reporting this coronavirus situation?

Obviously the pandemic is serious. They can't beat around the bush, But I just feel like some of.

The language that's used in news reports is so unnecessarily dramatic. Channel nine being the worst offender. The other day, I saw someone say.

The retail sector in the country can only be described as a blood bath. I was like, really, I'm sure you could have thought of some other adjectives there.

It could only be described And then he threw back to the bloody bitty at the desk and she's like, wow, Charles, life as we know it doesn't look like it's getting any better.

Thank you.

I thought, Divina, keep that to yourself, morbid negative. It is so long as I'm relying on them to like report information only, I don't want your bloody dramatic twist on the end, Like no, keep it to yourself.

But then they level it out because they run promos like we're all in this together. I know. Oh god, they're creepy.

They get their local starts.

Like film me on their iPhone.

It's like their dad filming from a low angle.

It's like, mate, yeah, I don't enjoy those at all, Like Matt Preston's hideous beard from a low angle.

It's press.

Don't worry, we're in this together, okay.

But yeah, obviously, like I say, the situation is serious. They can't beat around the bush. But I have found a news service. I'm being a little bit more delicate about it, and I'll tell you what. I nearly burst into tears the first time I discovered this because I realized exactly how fragile I am.

I reckon.

A big reason that my mood lowered during the Corona thing was because I was just watching too much news, you know, and there's.

Big things happening to aware.

Yeah, you're more inclined to watch news, like more people tuning in, yes, And so I reckon because I was consuming so much of that.

It really got me down.

But I've been brought back up, baby, he let me tell you because I've discovered on the Project's Instagram. Every night they've been posting Family News Flash, which is essentially the day's news regarding coronavirus, but they've deliberately avoided any language that would make kids panic. And I'll fucking tell you what, it's just the best thing in the world. I'm obsessed.

Here's one of the Project Family news flashes for you.

It's time now.

For the Projects Family News Flash and the PM Scott Morrison has announced some tighter rules around what Australians can and can't do while we were to manage the coronavirus. We can't go to places where there are too many other people around, like public pools or play centers. It also means we can't hang out with a big group of mates, which I know is a bummer, but all in all, his most important message is that if we all stay home as much as possible, we'll be able

Oh that is really sweet.

Wasn't that just like soothing in a way?

Yeah?

Wait till you hear Lisa Wilkinson doing one.

Well time now for your Project Family news Flash. Prime Minister Scott Morrison went on TV today to tell us about a new rule that anyone coming back to Australia from overseas will have to follow to keep us all safe. Anyone who comes into Australia will have to stay by themselves in a hotel room for two weeks just to make sure they don't have coronavirus.

Do you love that they have to stay by themselves instead of that's how quarantine shut in for two weeks?

I'm like, blood buf You know the word they love using at the moment, draconian.

I've never heard the word until now.

It's like an old school word that means like really bad effects. I think it's like, yeah, the new something will be I don't even know.

I've looked it up. It clearly didn't.

How do I bloody dracon Oh you are? Yeah, Usually we get Jenet to google stuff for us.

Draconian is a law of their application excessively harshens for me. The Nazi The Nazis destroyed independence of press by a series of Dracronian laws. Really intense.

That is intense.

Yeah, so obviously all these lockdowns and stuff they describe me as draconian.

I actually want to try something for it. Can you give me a really awful topic. I'm going to try and family family use it? Oh my god, the Zodiac killer spray, something really intense.

What about christ Church? The shooting?

Oh maybe maybe the anniversary?

What about it's very close.

To there's only there's only really dark things coming to mind.

Something that's old. Maybe I would have loved.

To have had family news splashes back in. I know the bushfires.

News.

Now what about Kobe Bryant dying?

I was going to say that Sydney thieves the Martin.

We're going I'm giving the Titanic or something that no one cares about anymore.

Okay, report the Titanic as though it's a project family news flash, safe for kids.

Here we go.

We'll time out for your project family news flash.

Remember last summer when the fan fan went on the boaty boat to Lake Shell Harbor. Think of that, but much bigger. Heaves and heaves of people on the boat hit a little rocky, and the shippy like your crackers do in the morning, split in half, water filled in through both sides of the boaty and the boat went sleep sleeps over one thousand people now resting, just like Aunt Pop and Uncle Greg did last Christmas. Right.

Oh no, that's the way to crook family anti pop do you and I.

Can think a really dark one? Nine eleven, some naughty pilots.

I've gone for you. You're going to do the death of Princess Diana. Here we go.

Well, time now for your project family. News flash.

An old British woman on a way to work and unfortunately she drove into the tunnel and just.

Never came out. She lives in that tunnel.

Now, I wouldn't say that to a kid. You Now, Unfortunately the princess has been involved with an accident. Hug your mummy and daddy extra type clear, little baby Prince William Mary won't have a mummy.

I reckon. You can do it, can you?

You've got this in the What's My Story?

You've got fires?

Like I mentioned, No George.

Early George pell could be good. Why don't you do the Hindenburg crashing. I'm not across, but what's a terrible event?

Oh my god, I know what about don't tell us.

Let's see if we can decode it based on how nicely you put it.

Okay, okay, here we go.

We'll time out for your project. Family news flash.

Well, the man who we rely on to run the country, mister Tony Abbott, has today felt a little bit hungry and felt the need to snack on an onion. Now, I wouldn't advise you do that. I'd be asking mommy and daddy's permission before you go gnawing down on one of those yourself. Only dickheads do that.

Sorry, too much, too much vulgar, vulgarity.

I have no idea what you're very eating the onion? What? Why do you eat an onion?

That's why he got out of office. No one knows he's naughty. He's a fucking fool because he just ate.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like anything really wrong with.

That to an onion, like an apple.

He loses his job over it.

No, that's not why I lost his job.

His approval rating went right down after the onion in.

God, yeah, people won't fucking impressed. Put it that way.

I reckon I could do that, Like I reckon I get an onion. I reckon I couldnore into an onion and enjoy it.

And if the thing is anyone good in that? But no one wants to see the leader of a free nation jowered out into a white onion.

It's bizarre.

No doubt there's any onions in our work fridge, because that'd.

Be you know what, though, onions last a long time.

I've learned that since stockpiling, I've had onions in my cupboard.

What do you mean stockpiling well in coronavirus. You one of those panic buyers.

No, no, no, but I had things in my pantry that I'm won't let go of that just yet, because you never know when I might need it.

These onions, I'm telling you, they're holding on for dear life. I have used onion from five months.

Ago, unlike Macket's chips. Of course, thirty seconds you're listening to is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of midges?

All right, arguably this segment everyone's been waiting for. My DIY coffee scrub.

This will be very interesting. I've used it once. Now I don't know if you if you use it like this, but I thought it's entire purpose was was.

A butt scrub, like solely for yours.

I thought it was purely made for the butt whole area, because that's a hard because sometimes so busy enough for it. So maybe you need to really get in there with some grinds.

The facial exfoliant and you can exfoliate your hands.

Coffee is coarse, is anything? Yeah, but I did it in my butt and it went like up even days, you know, sometimes it slips in.

I don't want to think about it.

Sorry, I never I've never in my life thought getting a little bit rough down there, I might have to exfoliate my anals.

What do you do use it for me?

Well, I because I used to be a fat kid. When I lost all the weight, I've been left with that stretchy skin. Yes, and so it means I'm really prone to raise the rash. So I need a really hectic exfoliator like coffee scrub in.

Order to prepare my face for a shave.

So every time I'm shaving, which isn't often, let's be real, once a week.

I think we're all fat kids.

By the way, I'm just a fat person talking about I was actually such a skin kid. I've done it the opposite in so much weight. I don't know why I was so skinny all through high school. Out of high school when I lived in America.

Good If you don't care, then who cares?

I mean I care? I guess I don't care.

Na, I understand. You get money, you can stop on your own food. Your parents don't hold you back.

His parents still pay for his food.

I feel like I gained the most weight when I got my license and could go through drive through and all that kind of stuff.

I do it every night at midnight. Can't get a fucking wrap though.

Anyway, coffee scrub. I'm going to tell you it's very easy and also a very perfect time for me to be teaching this apparently fun fact. People are googling diys and how to's now more than ever, Like apparently Google seeing a way higher search rate for like how to is and dow whes than they were during Christmas and East the holidays.

People are fucking bored while they're isolating.

Yeah, I watched her how to make soft scrambled eggs this morning.

Had to go for you.

Great, I made them.

That's good. I'm hoping people action this as well.

Did you get the little bits of toast crust and jip them in?

Yeah? The little soldiers or whatever you call Yeah, you slice the bread up vertical. Yeah, I'm gonna give you some music, mich and that what some just some cooking music.

Okay, well, let me tell you how easy it is. Three ingredients and one measuring cup. So all three ingredients are just half a cup. Okay, so I'm going to start with half a cup. Oh gosh, I don't want to get in the studio.

What is that?

This is the coconut oil. It's like it's going to need to be melted me. I hope you're ready for a run. Usually i'd make generity this, but you're gonna have to go to the work for it, walk.

There and talk to three people on the way.

Don't you always do that?

It's microwave in a metal tinnitch put.

It in the bowl card. Who do you think I am?

I don't know you've done this before? Cooling?

Yeah, exactly. So I'm currently scooping out the coconut oil cook with.

Can you eat coconut oil?

Or you can cook with?

I don't know why you would like you wouldn't, just I haven't eat it like my love.

You know you don't put your That's like having a spoon of veggie. Mind, No one doesn't.

Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of coconut oil on there.

Yeah, so hopefully no one's panic brought this. I'm sure it'd be easy to find.

Adding an oil for a coconut squeeze it.

It's usually in the health food section, by the way, coconut.

If sounds hot.

Anyway, look that nut.

I've got some.

Guys.

So I've just given you half a cup of coconut oil. Go whack that in the microwave so that it's liquid if you really want to. Actually, no, don't be putting your finger in.

Now I touch my half cup. I've got a freaking I've got all the other ingredients in that.

It tastes like a coconut to be liquid.

Yeah, how long to use your brain until it's liquid?

Anyway, you can tell he still lives it home.

I know of having the white button.

Do I push?

He bloody licked my half cup.

I literally said, one measuring cup is all you need half cup for every ingredient, and he knows that to use it again, gross pig. Anyway, that's hope. He doesn't have the roner.

I hope.

So although he did nearly call in sick today, it was nearly you and I net Jenna's not here what a shame.

No, it was nearly just you and I. Mitch messaged me this morning and goes, oh, I'm feeling really sick and Jemma's not coming in. I was like, all right, Nat, and I'll do it. I think he got jealous at the idea of someone being funny than him, so it was like.

No, come, well, doesn't he still have to work tonight anyway?

Exactly, I don't know what he thought was going to happen. Are you a fan of coffee scrub? Do you use it?

I don't understand the whole concept of coffee stroke, Like, there are a million other things I'd want to smell like before, I'd want to smell like moldy coffee. And you know what it reminds me of is that gross teacher with the yellow teeth that would stand over your shoulder in school and tell you like.

Oh, you need to need to.

Fraction and you're.

Just like, you know, seventeen coffees four hours ago.

I didn't literally smell what you're talking about.

The foulous thing.

It was math and they're saying fraction.

And why every teacher that has coffee bread disgusting to look at as well?

What are you pulling that off for? How vigorous is the meat?

I just had to take my handbrace off because it was kind of no, of course not, I'm sanitizing my hands. There won't be any gems left on them.

The oil oils there.

I'm back on mic Oh hello music, No need to put it back on. All right, I did a we just in that time, very yellow though we didn't need to know that.

Sorry.

Okay, So I said three ingredients.

It's all a half cup. So first one is coconut oil. The second one is brown sugar.

If you ate that, I would get oh.

Yeah, I would get four stretch marks.

Maybe that's why I'm well.

I only learned this when I started making my own coffee scruf. It's completely edible. It's all food.

I eat it. No one has to dare me.

Okay, So half a cup of brown sugar, half a cup of coconut it, and now the final ingredient, half.

A cup of coffee grounds.

You can either get the fresh coffee grounds if you're making it with a coffee machine, or if you're really really patient, you can get the stuff out of the pods after you've used them and build that up to a half cup.

Oh you could have just gone into our work kitchen and gotten the grounds containers.

Should get coffee John to keep it for you.

Yeah, I've been a little there's a little machine in there.

Yeah, exactly, I should start doing that, but I've just made it easy for myself. So I've just gotten coffee grounds just in the cube thing. It's just near all the instant coffee in the supermarkets.

So half a cup of this ship making a right message? I really am, I really am. It's someone's trying to play gamera above me to make it look like a fancy tutorial online, but it's going to look bolting.

In the bon Appetite test kitchen.

Here we go?

Is that page tasty?

The Yeah, it's very orgasmic.

Right, I'm mixing all three ingredients together, put.

The mic nice and clothes for the sound effect.

It's not much happening.

It smells good, so that's not quite the moldy teacher's breath coffee smell that I thought it would be.

But optional extra ingreding is a little bit of vanilla essence. I've never done it though, but some of the recipes do say it add a bit, but.

You add half a cup of self raising flower, put that in the mug in the microwave. You got yourself a mug mark mudcake.

I know it does look like that, doesn't it.

So just recapping half a cup of coconut oil melted, half a cup of coffee grounds, half.

A cup of brown sugar, and there we go. It's done. I've got a little jar here to make it look.

Can I take this time to hate it?

That'd make sure you literally he's made the budget version of it was.

On clearance that the IgA. There we go. Okay, that was in.

When you said tried. Are you going to put it on your hand? Or do you want to actually eat it? Like you said, I think he wants to eat it.

I'm not scrubbing. Oh god, I try to shower just before we.

I don't want to take it over there. I don't want to.

That's gross.

What are you expecting before you eat it? Because I don't think you're expected it will be.

My expectations are low every time I eat anything, so I really don't mind you.

Just remember I already admitted these coffee grounds were ninety nine cents at IgA a long time ago on clearance.

So like they're probably not the sort of thing you should be.

I was raised on the Kona, so I'm an instant boy. So this will be fine. Ready, smell smells delicious. You know what I'm going for a second. That's beautiful.

What is wrong?

It would be so pound much are you putting in your mouth? Oh, if you'd have the smoothest tongue.

I'm not joking, I'm not bullshitting. That's beautiful.

Get a big heapful.

Put a bit on your hand. Man, tell me if it's heels good. It's very more so warm because he microwave. Isn't it beautiful? And how easy was that?

Do you often just want? Do you lick your lips and go, oh, I've done well?

You know what smells nice?

Try some Come on, do it? You have worse things in your mouth. I'm gonna lick this little bit of the coffee melts.

By the way, just as the person giving the tutorial, I don't recommend eating it.

It's it's not bad, but it also.

Oh you're hitting it too, what's wrong with you?

No?

It kind of just tastes like coconut oil with a little bit.

Of coffee and sugar. Have you cleaned the bowl up over there, got it down like an armadillo with a snakehole.

Do you not lick the bowl after?

I'm not not when I've got company.

Put that in your bag for later.

Yeah, bloody hell, well done, beach. Where can they get the recipe?

I just told you recommemory that bad.

It's three things and each of the same amount.

I'm going to put the video up on our Instagram at some point, So.

Just recapping half a cup of coconut oil, half a cup of coffee grounds, half a cup of brown sugar.

It's so easy, I'll be honest. It is repeating on me now.

Oh, I didn't think it was going to do to eat it? That texts you down your throat. It's like swallowing sand.

I feel like the coffee is blooming in my stomach.

I thought originally you'd planned your dinner for later, and now you go backing out of a kiss.

My boyfriend, what have you been doing? You're going to have that bready breath.

If it's lingered in your asshole for soon? How long it is gonna linger in your mount.

Very rough at all? The orifice.

That's enough. My orifice is off the table. During Rona. Mine never really gets action. You're right.

What doesn't get an action?

He said during Rona his orifice is a rounded action.

Oh okay, really well no, but that is.

The advice they're giving them, saying that you shouldn't be also having a male partner.

You can just you know, quick easy.

Yeah, But couldn't you just also do that himself?

No, but it's funny with someone It's sometimes that.

I mean, wouldn't you want to do something you couldn't just do to himself?

No, because it's fun when someone else does it.

I thought of you the other day, Mitch, because you've been going between your partner's house, in your partner's parents' house and your parents' house. The two of you have been like saying each other's house. They've cracked down in New South Wales. Apparently you can't do that anymore. Yeah, it's like where you're sleeping is where you're saying you can't go with the other people, even your partners.

That's what's confusing me. We're not there yet.

You're gonna have to choose you law. No, but we are there. That's one of the new rules. Okay, maybe you're going to get a rest.

What are you doing with your boyfriend?

I live with him, so he is my one other person.

Are you in those cranella towers near the sharkis?

I was not anymore got it?

Okay, shy talk, sorry boring? Who is the house? Are you going to to get onto it?

Or are you guys going to stay apart for the more important to my boyfriend or your family?

Well, my family are all working from home, so I'll go crazy living in them. So probably we've had it.

So you'd move in with him.

He lives closer to work, so it'd be smarter to move in with Hayden if his.

Mum would be lonely if he moved in with you too. You've got enough bloody cherries under that room.

Very true, there's a lot of us.

Yeah.

Anyway, Well I thought that.

I thought that conversation was going to be Oh my god, I'm so torn. How do I to decide?

No? We just you just help me out my mind. Thank you very much.

Good well, thanks for hanging out with us this week.

Now, no worries. It was fun.

You did a very good job. Well done. You're one of the Actually I am going.

To say the same time, you've played that center bic twice now.

On both times just say I was.

You've been the best guess we've had. I think because we're very similar. That's maybe why I like having you.

One shy people people you wouldn't know, dirty bitches.

I wouldn't know, and I'm quite happy not to know. We'll be back next week to the Shy once once.

Now we're trying to wrap you played the sounds like, let's talk about macus again. Shut up, finish.

The thing I don't understand about the Shire people, right, people from that part of Sydney, is that they are the first to talk about how awful the Shire is.

But if anyone else outside either, they're like, fuck.

Off your dog, we love the Shire.

You flew here, off weel. My grandfather said that the Bible, fuck off weel.

What's whereful?

We're full? Like, well, wait, no one else.

A woman named were.

All right, guys, thanks for listening. We'll be back again next week. It's going to be our first show not.

Using the studio.

Yeah, we're gonna be in ISO produces you and hopefully we'll be back and some pilarates might be on the table the floor.

Well, we were going to get her to do a zoomber tutorial. But I'm up to date with all the new regulations. Can't do that. Oh really, Yeah, I think we're going to have to be in a different location.

Okay, well we'll plan it and next week's going to be a very different show. But guaranteed you'll enjoy it.

Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm actually looking forward to it.

Stay safe out there, everyone, it's actually wild, so stay safe, look after yourself, SELFI and we're back next week, Fresh.

Up, Awesome Catching next Monday, guys, by fine, is it just mean?

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast? Up?

Sorry, Mitch's cleaning up. I've never done this before. I normally start the show and that and then Mitch ends the show and introduces ad debrief.

It's our secret segment he still do after.

It's basically the segment at the end of the show we try to deter people from listening because we sort of get a bit dirty. We talk about anything. There's no holds barred.

Not even necessarily dirty. It's this embarrassing that people become in this segment.

Very true. What kinds of things I need to, Well, there's nothing plans, so we do whatever we want.

It's the rule is that's row completely. We make no plans during this. Yeah.

Also people can call through, so one four, three, two, nine, six six six people can ring.

This is what I mean when I say I'm not proud of this segment. He thinks it's funny to go rogue on the sound effects and just make shit up.

A number up?

What do you guys have a He makes the new number up every week and thinks it's funny.

Because because.

No, not, I think that's my breath from the coffee.

How did my coffee part breath?

I don't know? Yuck. People live tweet that they don't I love we have fresh blad and people think it's so good. People live tweet as we podcast. Guess who it is Joe Hockey. Hey, guys love the edition of NAT. Can't wait for the full episode to BEU because they only started listening halfway through it fair enough because people just as they tune in and then they can tweet as they go. So okay, Jenna's joining is via zoom. Jennet, you enjoyed the shoot? Did you like Nat? I thought she was a good.

Guest, I agree with you. Then I'm boroughly enjoying my God, I told you we can.

Actually, this is the first time, not my cup of tea, that I've been able to use the Jenna grabs and have them make sense because usually she's here, Oh, let's fucking manipulate out the bitch.

What can we get it at?

That? Shut up? And she's aggressive today, isn't she?

What do you reckon Mitch brought to the table today?

Jay, Yeah, no, nothing good?

Ah?

How many of these? Do you have?

A lot? This?

This is my idea back in the day.

And then I found out because Mitch has no staff on his radio show at night, he's been pretending to have a producer with my Jenna grabs that I recorded for my old every night people think producer Jen is real.

Jenna's got about seventeen jobs in this network if she also produces.

You guys, she doesn't.

She doesn't. What else can we ask Jenna?

We sort of sit and out on the responses, So maybe we've got in the report. You've got to go to have a cup of tea, right.

I agree with you.

There, there's so many.

More I don't agree with you going to have a cup of tea.

Yeah, maybe you've deleted them or they've been over written in your system. But there were so many. There was I'll google that now and there's like, there's so many and there she's such.

A polite producer as well, I'll google that now.

And then we brought her in real life. Not polite at all. Such Jenna bitch.

Mitch surely throwing it in the bin. Sure, you can sit down.

But it's really annoying, like how quickly do you want to get out of here?

At the end?

Quiet?

He often tries to.

Someone's telling you this secret is shame.

Opened the door when you cough? If walking in?

How creaky is the door?

No, we have one that we have a record that a door. Yeah, someone just walked in. They're out, now go again.

Huh.

I can't do in the open.

That was That was an angle grinder.

It was an angle grind.

Sorry, it was the keys in the door unlock at Jake, Yeah, we are is coming in? What's it?

You aett a little stiffy from this? Yeah? He does in the sound effects A little bit serious question though, I've noticed when.

You laugh you cough, Yeah, he does.

Can't fix it? What is that I don't smoke.

I do.

Did you laugh when you cough?

I don't find my coughs particularly hilarious.

Sorry, by the way, around you cough when you laugh. Really see. I don't know what it is. I have asthma, severe asthma.

Okay, well that's it.

I was born two months premie, so I know.

The connection with asthma and premature baby.

Because my lungs weren't developed, so I want two months PREMI and sad. My left lung wasn't wasn't even it didn't exist, It just hadn't been built, so it grew later. When I came out, they were like, he's probably gonna die. And then I spent the first three months of my life in hospital and they're like, there'll be my mom's like, what happened to my boy? They're like, he'll be severely underweight.

Do you want to know something, doctor bruck wrong didn't know something crook as fuck. When my parents found out that they were pregnant with me, doctor said I was down syndrome, no word of a life.

And then you were born and they were like what the fuck?

It didn't exactly happen like the whoops, but No, the first test they do for all that kind of stuff.

Came up positive.

It came up that I had the additional chromosome or whatever the test that they do. And what's crazy about that, though, is they actually give you the option.

That's why they do it because there's some people aren't mentally fit to be able to look after twenty four or seven care yes, and my parents were like, you know, we'll love her any way kind of thing. And then they were just kind of like, whoopsie, Daisy, she's fine. My whole life, I've coped you. They were right, funny, oh classic gag.

Yeah, well I was very early, and yeah, I'd had to put me in the incubator and I basically it's like when a cake comes out too soon, you put a skewer and it's like it needs more. That was me. So just check me in an oven for three months and cooked me.

Stuck a kebab stick and you're like, it's perfect now.

Put an apple in my mouth and an onion in my arse. And I was set to go. But I think they overcooked me because I'm fucking huge.

But not until you've got your license and drug exactly.

You're right, I was skinny through I'm gonna show you a photo.

Can I show you?

Do?

We all have photos of what used to be?

And Mitch get fat Mitch, I'll get skinny Mitch, and you just get strategic nap awful. It actually makes me just awful. Mine's my profile picture. I just have to swipe back, maybe four swipes and I'm there.

I've got my fat pick.

I hang on, mine's not readily. How many people do you show this to?

If you just literally one of the only photos in my favorites for scenario is like this, so I can whip it out and be like, see.

I don't know what one you want to see? This is my most enerycent.

Well, we have a Facebook group for listeners of this segment only. It's called Endurant Idiots, and the cover photo is skinny Mitchturing.

Correct padding it an equestrian horse.

Yes, so only people who are aware of this segment are able to enter that group.

I've got it, Okay, I'll go first because I started it. This is skinny me. This was what year hod on twenty eleven? This was nine years ago.

Ready, that's not you, it is, but the face is that doesn't even look like you.

Yeah, wow, that's me. Look at the collar bone on him.

True, this is me.

You'aring dog tags?

Yes, this is what I mean when I say I'm not proud of this segment. No one can see the photos. This is no good content.

We'll post them up. That's me.

See. Oh look I'm holding Do you know what will pop them?

In the endurant idiots group?

People are in this endurant.

It's nearly two hundred right, yeah, I'm going to it's one ninety. Here's my fatty pick.

Oh my, are you wearing a T shirt under your button? No, because that's a true sign of being an FC.

Did you notice that Mitch was doing that in his skinny pick? When you pop the button up undone over the over the T shirt, that's when you're trying to hide the love handle.

We're also bitch tits.

Yeah, I had those, and I was having an undershirt because of a sweat. You can see the.

Undershirt is for the I feel like covering the bumps.

Yes, no, that didn't work.

Because the more layers, the more it smooth things over.

But you get hotter, so then you just sweaty fat mess.

Do you want to say, man, go for it.

Oh is that a potato short?

No eyebrows either?

Wow?

Oh my?

And also I might just add that I'm wearing my mum's old polo shirt.

Hold on, come here closer. You look like a kid who comes up to you says, get games on your phone.

Okay, I just keep kicking you repetitively. I hate my life when you're a.

Kid and you kind of have like a crusher, you really admire someone older than you, like one of your siblings' friends, and you just annoy them constantly. I used to do that all the time, one.

Of those get out of the classroom. Why that thought?

That's say, you know what I notice a lot of the time, if you were like a foul kid in school, chances are you've had a glow up. But the so called hot girls are all like kind of ranked now don't you all too?

Yeah, but hot girls are still with all their boyfriends, especially from our school. You'll know this. All the hot girls that have boyfriends that they met in your tent are still with them. Colme my hands down.

But I've noticed that they might break up with the boyfriend, but then they get straight back into another relationship. They're just their relationship type. That's their way of telling you, well, I'm successful.

And you know I remember when you're in when you're in school. So that coffee scrub, it's making me go, you're why did you eat it in those mouthfuls? Fucking buzzn't Actually, it's going to be like that magic sand that kids play with. I turn into a tree. Everyone from high school, especially the high school I went to, had such a reputation in high school, especially at our school, like be cheery. My sister was like bad, badass.

Everyone knew who she was, and.

To be a cop'd be a great What happened? Aunt?

Wouldn't you pull me over? No?

Well, no, the problem is I'd call people over and then they just pissed me off, So I just you know what.

You'd be like, you've been pulled off for speeding, sir, and then they get.

Them.

You'd be that cop that goes viol on Facebook because you didn't realize there was a dash cam and.

Then look at it dog copy.

No, I have zero patients for anyone arguing back with me.

I wasn't speeding your right while are you speeding? My wife is giving birth in the front seat. That's why we were.

You don't have to fucking live through it now.

I'm so glad you're not a cop.

See Can I just say I play this every week and no one thinks it's funny.

You open the lines, didn't get any callers?

Well, you get some interesting people calling through to the Edge, don't you that radio s My favorite is.

Anyone with the name Mohammed. They're hilarious.

Who is the Edge listener to people who have never tuned into the Edge? Ninety six one?

Well, the Edge listener Western Sydney? Yeah, yeah, twenty five.

I like to imagine every probably yeah, every trader with pea plates on it, all like a little Mazda that's going to the MACS drive through with peap plates.

Well yeah, but it can't be like a new Highlights you.

It's gotta be like an old white with a steel tray, red peas on it.

Yes, young Western Sydney people. Right, and you answer the phone, So what sort of stuff do you get?

Do you? I'll be you ready new into the phone already the Edge of Mike nomail. What's your name? John?

John?

What are you calling about?

I just want to tell Markey is a fucking dukerd.

Ok, Thanks, John, I'm gonna see we can get you one of the next ten today.

There, get off bluetooth and speaker phone.

Turn your Brady off in the background. What's your ideal caller? So, say you're in the morning you need a call, what do they say to get on air? What's the best thing?

I like the unexpected things?

Same, yeah, Like, if I could tell you what the ideal call would be, it wouldn't be the ideal call because I've thought of it. It'd have to be something that really gets me, like some when they actually make me laugh. Like I remember one one guy calling up and telling us this story about how his date shitter pants like during the date in the movie theater, and that I was barely laughing.

Well, you told us just before we came in on air on the cloud that you have put the bed before I have shot As a kid, I was a child, yea. And what were you dreaming of?

I dreamt, and I vividly remember dreaming of the toilet on that and I was like, oh, lucky there's a toilet there, because I'm turtlenecking. I remember sitting on the toilet wiping everything, and.

Then I woke up and was like so like in the dream, made in your dream, you made the decision to ship, and then your body in real life was like yep, it was like inception.

Like in my dream.

I was like, hang on hold the dream, I gotta go upstairs to the too.

And then it wasn't until I woke up that I realized.

I've wet the bed recently.

When you're drunk recently.

Yeah, probably nineteen, I wet the bed.

I have friends who have boyfriends who pissed themselves every time they drink, so like.

That will weir on my friends?

I don't think I would put up with that. I'd have to really love someone to be like, no, babe, it's fine.

No, I had a expert. I just I just remember the next boy from weed on me once. It wasn't a habit thing, but he did do it.

We have a boss here at work. He said he weed on his girlfriend for fun.

Hang on, I want to I wanted it fun for her or him him, not her, right, I want to unpack this one. Did she just your friend who said that that happened? Did she just put up with it and accepted?

Yeah?

Whenever day I get donky pisces. Oh, like that's his part of would she ever jump into snames.

I was at the house and he went to sleep, and she said something like, oh, I'm not going to sleep in there tonight because he'll probably piss on me.

And I was like, what got and then.

She said, yeah, every time he drinks pretty much, he apparently knows he's doing it as well.

He's just too lazy and drunk.

Oh that's no good.

I was gonna say, she's a very accepting if it's an accident, but if he knows it's doing it.

I think some people do it accidentally, but they will like open a wardrobe door and think it's the bathroom.

Ah right, Yeah, he just lays there out of laziness.

Do you guys we in the shower? I do, I do ye in the bar, but no, you can't do that.

I don't work in the bath.

You can't win the bath And.

Yeah, I'm not asking you to come share my bath waterer.

True, what's the problem myself?

We couldn't fit in the bloody Meriton Himes or a game of Mitch or that's a damn for everyone listening, Hoover Mitch dam Yeah.

I just thought because we don't laugh.

He takes it really personally. If no one laughs and it's like he.

Can, it would have been that weird kid growing up doing performances for your family and they would have been laughing.

No, that didn't happen. But I did have an alto saxophone from your nine to twelve and I played it for the family at family dinners.

You know what I should do?

Yeah, I picked up at the other day. It was here at work and I played I have the Tiger still here.

I was about to say I should get because my sister she has my violin and she played like professionally. She's a saxophone teacher, so she I'm like, I should get her to come in one day with a saxon a violin and see if we can play a fucking jet.

Can you play the violin?

Yeah, well I have a touch twenty year me too.

I can.

I can can I sing on this?

I can close my eyes and I can I can picture when my fingers go.

Let's get her to do Ave Maria while we play on the saxophon violin.

That that'd be fun.

Ave Maria.

Oh, you know, I consider it.

I just thought that's for the prayer by Anthony Klea. Didn't he do a version of.

I'm thinking of Shrek? Isn't it in Shrek's Yah? Yeah, I can actually sing dead set, don't hear it?

As in?

You can train or you just make it a coffin Now.

I went to see the school in New York and part of the training was operatic singing. You've done what I've done an opera. I say, if you listen to the show, you know that I've mentioned that ready, I don't think he has my diaphragm isn't warmed up?

If I say, shoulders moving upward?

Listen to my rage, I've got it.

You can do more than.

How dare I doubt him? Actually? That not like an impression of someone doing an opera performance. That actually sounded like an opera singer.

What do you think that was good?

Huh?

Do you think that was good? Would you buy his CD?

No?

Of course not, never bought an opera.

He listens to opera.

Mark Vincent lives in our area. He was on.

How he performs at the local pub. I really took off his career.

He was performing at Christmas, which is the busiest sale time of the year.

Family Christmas, I don't.

Have Christmas mark your present at Christmas at where Field, you know what, everyone's rushing and you gotta get the card. I was like, fuck off.

There's just one level of opera though, like you can't have chi No.

I love it when a lady does like a she starts gentle, she's like, builds it up.

You know, I could probably do that ready kind of, I'm very deep. I'm very deep.

Just clearing the throat, you know.

Yeah, that was actually not bad.

You know, do you guys know that meme with the weird looking animal. Take a closer look at that snout. I can do an impression. I'll show you.

It's I'll get up on the web.

Also, this bothers me. It's something that's a video. It's not a meme.

Is going back to the vine days, I think. But for the far it's from Phantom of the Opera and I can do this opera. Just an impression of this meme.

Ready, take a closer look at that snout?

Why was this ever going viral?

Keep watching.

It?

West, I don't like it.

So, yeah, I can do an impression of that. That's the exactly on go go go go, Take a close look at that snout, I'd say, their hands, what do they add part of the performance?

They fisted pencil? Please?

Why do you have this?

I scared?

Can I throw? I scared on smart Is there even a smart board in this?

That's me and Hayden. I drew it on the weekend.

Oh my god?

Do you use it for who's eyebrows?

Haters? I was playing around with pencils?

Can I just say, this is a very strange moment for me.

If you come in on this show and you repeat the same stories, because you forget that you've already told them in the space of today. You've told me you're an opera singer. You can fucking sketch very well. I'm looking at that as well. Studied you study theater in Newry. Have you been sitting on all these stories this whole time? And yet up until now you just come in and go, I'm on the radio.

I have no thumb.

He's on midnight now.

You never ask. Yeah, you've a good co host, probes, you'd know you got to ask questions.

I do.

And we should probably wrap.

It's been a very for the past ninety seven Okay, we should get it.

Very generous of you.

I actually say thank you for being here. It's great to have someone who probes found out that I'm an operatic singer.

I didn't know if that was her probing. We just got there and it happened.

This is why I always encourage against the sound effect thing, because the conversation can lead to.

Who knows, from next week no sound effects.

Well, there won't be. We're going to be in isolation.

Nat, thank you for coming on Pure once again. Plug your socials. Nap penfold, nap Penfold brilliant. Are your Twitter user that I have one?

But I think my only tweet years ago when I was trying to get it to pop up at the bottom of the screen on the voice Oh yeah, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I know, exactly mean my altie and child's voice of an Angel.

I think I loved Delta's dancing Tonight.

Compliments Delta, and they didn't put that on.

They would have been the only person.

If I'm a smart person, I would have found that on my own Twitter and deleted.

Once. I'd tweet a big brother when they used to do live and it came up and I made my cover photo on face Well.

My god, I remember back in the day when Umi Steime's was on MTV. We were like texting the line that made the things come up because she was like a huge TV thing back then.

What happened? What did she host?

Yeah, like Channel V or MTV or something, and she was like cool, Yeah.

Oh damn it. You definitely got rid of your old tweets.

Yeah.

I also was probably smart in the same period of time deleting my Facebook my I mean sorry, my old MySpace.

And I also had a Biber at.

One point, which you won't Oh I had. I didn't have Biber, but I had Habbo Hotel, don't I loved Habo Hotel.

I was doing about this yesterday.

My brother used to It's so annoyed at me because we back then it was to get it on the internet, so you have like a time limit each day, and I'd use up all our time and have a hotel going into private rooms and things changed to Bobba.

How about hotels like a cross between. It was like Penguin and sims and you're all like lego figures, like.

A chat room, but you can make your own character and you talk to each other people all around the world, and then you have private rooms.

You can earn coins that give.

You like furniture in your seem like a hotel.

People used to.

Try and have sex with you and stuff on there as in like you know, but they every word she said that was like fuck or big made it turn into Bobba. I'd feel like I don't want to bother you and bob bob are you bobba?

And stuff like that.

I used to sit on there like you saw that, you saw what I looked like.

Imagine that girl sweating at the computer of yuck, drinking seventeen diet cokes.

Was groomed by a pedophile on Compenguin and now my sister's a pedophile. She was fine, nothing ever happened, but she was. He would just constantly.

They saying, now my sister is a pedophile.

No, no, my sister is a pedophile hunter. She's a pedophile cop.

Is she like a specialist pedophile cop?

Yeah, she's in that division air detective.

Wow.

Yeah. And my my little sister was the one who had a weird creep every time she'd gone, they'd be there, Hi, come to my igloo And she never played.

This penguan thing. But I'm assuming the same concept.

Yeah, club Penguin pedophiles.

But if you wore, you got kicked off Club Penguin. Yeah, yeah, they were. They went Bubba or whatever the funk it was.

I can't of bubble to the same way. She's like, do you want to have Boba in yours? I'm like, what do you want to fuck my milk tea?

He wants to blaye both marry Void.

Yeah, Bobe you hey, that character in Star Wars dirty Boba Fet what was his real first name? Fuck Fet the builder Dirty? He died this week. Actually, the voice of bub the Building passed away. The voice of Bob the Builder from Corona didn't.

The guy from Star Wars did?

Did he Wars?

Someone from Star Wars died? Did they in Corona? Maybe Trek? Is there a big difference?

That's all they're saying. They're all in fucking space ship. We're all fighting some war that no one cares about.

I haven't. I haven't seen one episode of Star Wars in my life.

I've never seen episodes.

I think they're filmed.

Episode all right, we need to get out of here, naped fold on all socials, Mitch, Mitch, We'll be back tomorrow next week, and then Jenna should hopefully be here.

Well, see if we can social distance and still keep her on the show.

Love you guys, Stay safe, catch it just me.

Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review on your podcast app