#219: Ullmond

Just Red stood back a couple of mitches delese yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Mitchell fucking teary uttered the sentence to me that I never thought i'd hear him say, he goes, so, what's the vision?

I just mean, what's the vision? It's a creative term.

I didn't know you put such importance on vision. Fucking Fred Highlight's over here? All of a sudden, what's the guy with that?

Nouri and mitchual coos, I are you?

I like you?

Oh, good to be here, met you. You've got matching now polish to your hoodie. You need to go to Specs.

Save its my love. This is a deep mahogany and this is purple.

My god, but it's close kinder like I thought you'd dumb it on purpose.

If you're not no total accident, show me that now polish that's off it. It's like a deep apple red, like snow white apple red.

What was that apple you were banging on about last week? Old red delicious? Red delicious, the red delicious?

Oh my god, maybe you're inspired by me in the hoodies? Nice the fashion game. Someone's been watching Trinny and Susannah, I've.

Owned this for about two years, but thanks for not have you hoard it? I definitely have you look good? How are you? Oh? Yeah?

No?

Good good.

I'm actually going through a breakup, if I'm being really honest. Sorry, not Sean. Sorry I I should have left that going for longer. Actually, you guys were freaking out my heart. Just would I really bring it up to you that way if I broke up with you?

Would actually wouldn't he give you a welcome?

You?

Actually would?

That is so you.

I'm going to be the boy who cried break up.

I feel sick.

Instantly I was team Sean. I don't know what that says about friendship. Sorry, but my instine thought was what have you done? Instantly? What have you done to my show?

Okay, so now it's another professional breakup. Remember I was really heartbroken about breaking up with my hair dress the Franco because he left me, yes, I do, with no way of contacting him. So now it's my psychiatrist. Noah, it's been with me since I was eighteen, the start of the bloody ADHD medication prescription.

Wait, not our psychologist, no psychiatrist. He plans to give you the drugs. I've got a real team of people keeping you up. But he said to me, God, just doctor Greg.

We see each other every six months to get a new prescription, okay, and it's the shortest appointment ever. It's like, are they still working great, here's more meds.

Wow.

And then he said to me, recently, you know that now that you've been taking this for a while, I can give authority for just the GP to give you the medication.

But it would mean no more appointments with me.

And I was like, Greg, don't think I haven't valued our time together. But you're three hundred bucks apart every six months. That's six hundred a year just for some meds. I'm going to the GP see but it still hurts having to say goodbye.

But I almost feel like he broke up with you now.

He just offered the suggestion, and I was like, I feel bad that he's given me the option. I have to be the one to make the choice.

Very ethical of him, But God, if I was in Greek position, I would never tell my clients that that's an option I want to.

Breaking in that it's very good, especially it's a bit mental, Like clearly, I mean i'd be like abused, you know, take the cash.

So yeah, breaken up with doctor Greig after fuck, I'm not good at math. How long has it been since I was eighteen?

Ten years?

You know what, I'm glad you did it because I never broke up with my GP that I had from childhood. Doctor start oxy action white. I remember, yeah, oh lovely man. And then because I've got sleep apnea, right.

Yeah, I didn't he say oh, it's so nice that it's been killed or something.

Mum went back in to see him because she still goes to him, and he's like, you know, I'm so glad Mitch sleep at me was miraclely cured by divine and devention.

I haven't seen him in three years. I mean, I'm so he's so happy and healthy. No, he's like, no, he's still I'm very unwell.

He just thinks you're terrible. It's gravely ill. But he'd rather die than come back and see you.

When I got gonorrhea, it was so hard to get the injection that I ended up going to my local like going to there's a bed in his practice, you can just get injections in.

So I studied, well.

There's there's a bed in his doctor the medical scent correct thing.

Yeah, so you don't have to see that GP. You can just use their beds to get bloods drawn. So I went in to get my injection in my left ars cheek and as I was lying there whole out, George walked in and went, make sure, what are you doing here? This isn't how you cure sleep pattern't here? And I was like, I've got gone to rio.

He was beside himself. He's like, you've changed. Fuck, you've changed, But I'm glad you did because I went the wrong way about it. You've clearly gone the right way. Amicable. Split's always really nice.

But he goes, don't be afraid to get in touch if you ever need anything, And I'm like, fuck, I'm going to become a hypochondriact and fake shit just to see Greg.

I'm going to miss it. Do you like Greg? Is he nice?

I do? It's great because it was like my parents didn't get me diagnosed. I went and did that myself, basically first thing when I moved to Sydney. So it's been with me since the beginning.

Well, knowing you you'll develop something new, so I'm sure.

You'll be back to it well, knowing you you might provoke it within me.

It's true, not wrong, You're not wrong, So you know it might not be goodbye to Greg? Should we get him on the show?

Yeah?

Can we?

We'll just have a therapist on.

It would be easy for me.

Oh my god, one episode of the show hosted by our well, Mitch and I have the same so it would be.

You can get Greg instead on your part.

Now you know if they would do that, like the whole confidentiality thing, that's what I've been saying, doctor Greg, no last name, No, they wouldn't.

My brother in law got recently diagnosed with sleep at me and went I sent him to my sleep at me doctor and he's like, oh, I just want the mask that Mitch has, and the doctors like, given Mitch's public figure, I cannot comment on the mask Mitch users. And then he's like, is my brother in law? I want the mask he has? Because look, Mitch's in a different position to other.

I'm what, bro, tell him what mask I've got? You see me naked? It's fine, Why is your brother in law sen you naked? Long story close.

Family here, your fan is very close.

You can't just drop that and expect me not to ask questions. Let's just say, your brother in law send you're naked. Oh god, I've seen those porns.

He just wanted to make sure he was with the right cheery, and he was like, yeah, I think I've loved all along as absolut I'm got big a tits than my sister Becky, so anymore. Actually, but the skins.

I was going to say, isn't she a duet to be breastfeeding any day now? Like she would have huge knockers on.

Her any moment, any moment now? Yeah, did I fucking.

Tell you that we discussed my ex girlfriend from high school's tits on this podcast? And I said something along the lines of, even though I'm gay, I can recognize she's got a rack on her. Her sister heard it and then showed her mother, and her mother, who used to be my teacher, went up to my mother and will worse and goes, I heard your son talking about my daughter's breasts.

On his podcast. And Jane's like, what you're kidding me.

If somebody came up to me and said Mitchell Koombs was talking about that, I'd be like, nah.

I think that's the first time that Sanders has ever been uttered in the history of the English engage.

But also she wasn't like appalled, she was quite proud.

She's like, yep, that's what her mamma gave us now literally and gay Manda for around tit compliments. So no, rare that I appreciate a rack. Hey, if it's your first time listening welcoing to is it just me?

Every show we start the same with something we've noticed, something we hate, or I'll tell you what something we appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know min no idea, no clue mine. I think we'll blindside you guys, any further details, Nah, because I don't want to.

I don't want to lead you on.

Oh okay, well I would suggest that my in gym. You might not like it, but hear me out.

Okay, well when I go first, because I'm busting out the seams to get mine out. Sure, Okay, go for it, Bradley, count me in?

Is it just me?

Are you also as of today? The first time I go, I just brought that up.

I know.

Literally, should we breastpeeding soon? What I said? Speeding right now? My congratulations. I'm me. I feel like the planets have a lined. I am born to be an uncle.

I did think that there was a weird look in your eyes when I mentioned your sister breastfeeding.

Might to look away. Little baby Remy Ray was born a little girl. Okay, that's the past.

That's a cute newborn.

She is a cute Amy Ray could be a country things.

And I really love the name Remy.

Isn't it. I did flag the whole rudd chilling of it all, but they didn't seem to care.

Oh hi, she is a very She's a cute newborn, isn't she ever?

She really is.

Becky and my brother in sleep Out met Kurt had baby Remy. It was Monday, the step of the fuck, fifteenth of July.

It's Remy short for Remican.

No it's not. It's short for Ramification. Yeah that's better. Isn't she cute?

I know?

So she's a.

I've met her, and here's what I wanted to discuss. I wanted to see what you went through because you're an uncle.

Will May many of three seemed to before fucking sister, they fall out of her.

I went to see Remy and she was born on the Monday, and I was on air, so doing the night radio show on Kids, and I got like the FaceTime from mum, like it's happening at like seven point.

Thirty and my sweet on face time washing Now.

My mom called to be like it's happening.

It's going to say close family. She'd been on FaceTime being like push, push.

Me, have a look she's pushing.

No, well, it was an it was a natural. It was a caesar because Becky is MS, so there's complications. So they just they're like, cut it out of her.

Oh actually that's yeah, that's her being cut out of her. Oh my god. It's quite relaxing, doesn't it. It actually does, doesn't it that that's it? Maybe covered in all the juices. Anyway, they're good photo.

I was on air, so I couldn't get there. So I went the next day of the Tuesday, and I thought, it's been twenty four hours.

I don't reckon.

They would have wanted you there the moment it happened.

Well, mum and dad went, that's the moment Mum and Dad met her. Look in the hospital. Oh cute, you know my family like.

Ridiculously cliverbearing you. Becky said, come like the next day, so I did. I went the next day.

I met little baby Ramy, a little beanie on Oh, and I kind of walked up and I was like, can't wait. Took my jacket off and I kind of like get my arms in like the position, and Becky went smile, and I was like, oh, let me, let me grab her.

She said no, no, no selfies only.

Oh you're not allowed to hold it with your own filthy hands.

I'm not allowed to touch Remy until she's a week old.

So I had to take a selfie photo, Like I'm at comic Con getting a fucking photo with stan Lee.

It looks like remy thwalk in the red carpet and she's so far in the distance and you're taking a fucking photo from the sideline.

That photo of Jena next to fucking Alphaba Broadway backstage at the stage door in New York City, smile two meters away like a catch covid. I'm on vocal rest. She's a new born baby, let me touch her.

We shared geans. What was the reason you were allowed touch it? No one knows.

Is it because you haven't had to give back? Here's the problem.

I paid fifty Bucks at chemist warehouse to get the JAB two months ago, and I'm.

Not allowed to touch her.

When can you touch it?

I don't know.

Never Well apparently so mom and dad got to touch it this week. So am I No, their grandparents and their first time grandparents. You have your uncle, I am, and I'm Uncle Mitch cool Uncle Mitch. I wouldn't know all about that, Yes you would, you would, so I get I think I'm going to hold her this week. The hospital doing a high tea, So I'm going in to have a high tea with my sister and baby.

Why are they doing that? Hoity toity hospital? Are you paying for? It's a private hospital?

But it's it's because she got to seize her so she Becky has to recover for a week because they've sliced her open.

So I think they're like, we'll give you some sandwiches and a tea with your baby.

And bring on together some scones.

That's interesting, wonder why? I don't know. I don't know.

I think it's just their personal choice, which I care about. But hilarious that Remy at her twenty first I can show her.

This photos literally like hey, fucking take him, hide and.

Kim, Well, that's what Mum sort of said. Mum's like, by the time they have their second and if third, if they want them, they'll be like take it, you know. But it's first baby, Like I'm actually so excited for them, Like I had.

A little cry and just it's just like such a cheery thing, like a new baby. We've never had it.

My family is so close. This is but Becky had a miscarriage this year, she had got diagnosed with MS this year, and they.

Had a baby. It's like what a whirlwin, Like I've had a fuck the last twelve months. Like it genuinely brought me so much joy and it's kind of put different things in different perspectives from me, which is it's been a lovely week.

I mean, bloody hell, isn't really going to be spoiled rotten certainly should be a brad of a thing because she was.

Yeah, it's a slippery slope.

She'll be on the podcast in a year.

Oh yeah, guest hosting, no doubt. Yeah, So I'm at.

Uncle, congratulate gratulations you.

And I Mitch both uncles. Jenny, you're a convicted felon. Yep, that's the show.

That's us.

That's the rebrand we need. Are we couple of uncles now a couple of uncles? Rude shocks of young unclehood?

No, I was going to say, remember we're toying with changing it from rude shocks of young adulthood because apparently we've outgrown it. Literally we're not young adults. But I definitely said some seventeen year old. Surely we could lean into like you know how everyone's like, oh the fun aren't energy, which you'd be like everyone's favorite I'm not saying uncles, but everyone's favorite uncle.

Uncles. Fucking uncles. Oh, I think it'll need some time you uncle in there.

Now that it works, now that we're both uncles, a couple of uncles and a couple of uncles. Yeah, but then that makes it sound creepy, doesn't it.

Come and have a seat. It goes up with your favorite uncle? Yeah?

Yeah, just sounds like old man.

That's really ages, doesn't it.

Let's keep the branding we are getting. All that we are getting, it's really bad. Actually, look at my crows feet, Look at mine.

Oh wait, if I had enough bowie, you can't say, hey that you are old.

We're so as Helen Keller once said, this podcast is fucking dope you're listening to?

Is it just now?

Unfortunately, in episode two hundred and twenty, which comes out on Wednesday, I will be bringing to you another fuck up of mind that happened on stage at a comedy show.

I don't mind admitting to my failures. It's fine, okay, but where does it come from? As someone brought it to your attention or you realize you did it in the moment you were there?

Was I?

Yeah, did you catch my fact?

You were the first person to bring it up after the show?

What happened?

I was very not.

I bought you a drink after the show, I know.

But then you did bring up the error, which is fine. I didn't spiral at all.

It's fine. Oh I remember this. Here we go. Oh, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's a different mistake. Jenna wasn't there, you know what happened? I thought you were there, but it was actually just a mop in the corner.

That was me.

I thought, there she is, No, that's that's just a mop. She hasn't watched her hair for the occasional.

Route that's from Bunny at least so skinny.

Yeah, you look so good.

She's found these empig do you want to hear my Yes, I'm so beyond ready. I don't think you'll like it.

That's fine. It's been a quite bit of contrast. It's good. I'm an uncle now, you know. Easy, breezy, I've got spawn in this world?

Have you got that?

Like post baby gli Yeah? And I've still got the tummy. It's going down, all right.

All right, here we go, Brad Leay, Is it just me? It's the New York Times mini crossword? A load of bullshit.

This was coming just because you're not as quick as I am. I hate it.

I absolutely hate it.

Really.

I already don't believe myself to be the smartest person on planet Earth, but I've never felt more dumb as dog shit.

Yeah, I agree, it's tough. I actually think there are more liars in our midst than we know.

Thank you, Yes, you understand what I'm saying now.

Yeah, I posted you. We just spoke about this last week. It was my gym Monday.

I've had seven days of fucking using this stupid crossword and I hate it.

Well, Mitchell, your message me yesterday, and what did you say? It was very funny. I wanted to put on my story it read.

Something along the lines of fuck this crossword shit.

Yeah it was. It's exactly what it was. Yeah, fuck this crossword shit.

I just don't believe anyone that says that they're getting it done in fifteen seconds. Yeah, I've not done one in under two or three minutes.

But it takes me like fifteen seconds to read the question.

Like.

The thing is, some people treat it like a good daily bit of fun. Others treat it like sport, like they're predator hunting alien.

They're like, you've crossed over interweating it like sport.

You're that obsessed. I am, but only because the people I'm surrounded with it. Stephen, my boyfriend is insane. Grace, who produces my radio show, does it in She did yesterday's in thirteen seconds. I just don't believe it.

I'm sorry, you can't do it in thirteen second.

The problem I have with it, and the reason I'm so sass, is that how the fuck are we in Australia expected to know all this American trivia? Yeah, there's a lot of assumed American shit in there. Yeah, Like one of the questions that we had when we did it on the podcast is stupid bullshit crossword? It was now a published brand that sounds like two letters of the alphabet, and it was Essie, we don't have that here, how are we expected to get that?

That's true?

There was another one about American financial interests, yeah something, or Windy City.

Airport was, Oh, how the fuck I've been there? What Chicago? I've never made Chicago's airport is no?

Yeah, what about shallowest of the Great Lakes? Don't tell me you got that?

It's eerie? How because I expected to know all this shit. Here's the thing.

They're the ones I look googled.

No, there's actually an art to it. Stephen taught me this. You have to go with the dumb ones that you get straight away.

Like the problem is none of them are dumb enough for me. But Wednesday of last week was like green ogre in swamp Shrek. That's a bit tricky, could have been fia.

That's true.

True, Okay, good point, Okay, Ei the Shrek.

Then you already have those letters, So then you go to a word that has you've already answered one of them.

I understand how they work, but it just that's not enough for me. I still have nobody what to go off? Have you done today's Yeah, it's seven minutes.

Oh what did I do? I hate it? Let me check today. Today wasn't strong for me.

I believe I would be much more successful at this if there was like Ozzie trivia.

So, oh yeah, have a pen each Oh okay, I've made my own.

Oh my god, this is so fine, kidding, this is what they should be. Don't look at the answers. Well I don't have them. I'm holding them here, so you're having a peak.

Sorry, here you go, Mitchener, I've printed off one eee.

Are you gonna Oh my god, I'll give you the clue again, right, but you're going to read them, so it's going to be hard. You can't speed through it.

I'll trust me.

I've made it Mitchell Kumbe's level of easy.

If you beat me, Jenna, absolutely, I'm gonna actually push you.

So this is like trivia, but with a slight let's say, Bogan skew. Okay, sixty seconds on the clock.

Are you ready? Hold on?

I'm nervous now.

Yeah. So we're going to start with one across or one down. One across. Can we put this on there? We can't put it on the socials because we're going to give the answers away. Well you can. You can do it while we do it. Pause this podcast right now, we'll put it on.

We'll put it on the Indurian Idiots Facebook grip and you can pause it and do it at live.

Yeah, sixty seconds on the clock.

Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

One across cap and oh you got it?

Kim yep, one down, Brett's Dog fuck Jenna, Oh do I answer?

Yeah, we'll load. It's a fucking podcast. Kudo Cujo, Hey Juke, Cujo got it?

Yep, Cujo's Kath and Kim. Six across a big fucking rock, poor bing seven across, not happy Jan got it And if she had assie mates, what would they call her?

Was a nickname?

Jenno Jano Eight across, Oh, it's beIN night Love. Can you remind me to take out the bins?

No, Kujo, it's oh eight across.

Also a restaurant in bondi Otto Yeah, yeah, No one calls it a motto. Nine across we made I've had too much to drink? Can you go?

Jo? Yep? More.

Three down, I would drive, but I'm too How much would I fucking slay this ship if it was Australian?

True, that's incredible. I'm so impressed.

Fun.

I think we should put what's in the kiddo into developing an app.

Totally we'd make money.

That's inversion of this NYC crap.

Yeah, yeah, alright, I'm looking at this. It doesn't it doesn't check out. Mitchell, You've done a great job. I don't mean to criticize, but two down isn't a word. You've not matched them, right, Ilat.

I gave up.

It's actually really fucking hard making across the broad Just so you know, I thought I did well to feel that ready, columns.

Of course you're listening to Is it just me got something on your mind? Hit up at a couple of Mitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show.

Yeah, it's now our turn to kick back and relanx and let you really do the work, because we.

Do too much for once. Let the idiots through the work.

I agree, And you know, I know you probably thought, God, this is nice of Mitches to create a segment where they hear from us.

Maybe this is so we can relax pretty much. Yeah, I don't do much.

No.

Well, I mean that's your life on this prograst. So the whole thing for you is just is it just you?

Yeah?

Although I do enjoy hearing from our idiots, they come up with some cracking in gems of their own, don't they.

And so I'm terrible ones.

I get some dms like Mitch big fan of It's Jim, It's about it, g four m and terrible as I know.

Is it just me or a new bomb? Baby's gorgeous? I mean it's not just them. I guess they're gorgeous.

Yeah, gorgeous in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, but said I've seen some mounted looking babies as I.

Oh my god, ones look like almonds, for God's sake, look like what almonds?

What? Oh?

Here we go?

Oh fuck off almonds. Oh, I know I'm saying that we eat almonds. Almonds? What you really need to exaggerate the air that much. It's like almond.

No, it's not, Yes, it is as like an like.

Arm almond, oldmand. That's not right. Almond is dumb. You're missing the ale. Almond.

No, that's how it's pronounced. It's not almond.

What do you say, parlem reader, No, you say palm.

Stop The reason I'm embarrassed because I know it sounds dumb, but I can't stop it.

Almonds. Fuck? Oh, I'm so mad at myself. Can you order a coffee for me? What would you say to them at the cafe? Can I get an almond cat? Oh my god?

Okay, ready, look at what lim I'm holding out? Yeah, your arm and that just goes mind on the end. All right, Almond, I'll say it again. No, I'm not Armond like a pirate Aramond. All right, let's go to Woollongong. We're gonna dial up LEXI today now, she said, I'm on my way to work. That's just for context she wanted to know.

Okay, hello, Oh my god Lexi and Wollongong.

Hi, Hello lovers. How are you pretty good?

I'm a bit worried that you're on the phone. Will driving my love be able to pull over?

Or I'm I'm on a toll road?

Oh?

Someone makes my good money.

No, someone just can't be bothered to spend ten more minutes on the highway.

Fair enough, it sounds all right, Actually it's not the worst.

Just have a nice new car.

Oh my god, I actually do. I did buy. I bought myself a divorced car. So I do have a brand new car divorce. It's a divorce car. I'm obsessed with it.

I love the already congratulates. I was going to say, lexis giving me, like LEXI fucks that she ought not be fucked with. Exactly right, well, clearly with that divorce.

Actually no, not in the divorce car. Because the divorce car has leather seats, So in the divorce car that.

You want to you don't want to get juices all over the cloth seats. That's true.

Well, actually no, there is. There is a dog tlf in the back, so we can do it on the that's fun.

Let's see how fresh is the divorce.

Will It happened twenty twenty one, and then my dad was like, because I'm very impulsive and may have picked up on that, Dad was like, wait till everything's finalized, then put you deposit down on the car. So I did, and then they were like, great, thank you so much, congratulations, honey, that'll be a two year wait for the car.

I was like, what, so I just got my car?

Did you really have your heart set on this one type of car.

Yes, because I wanted a big some roof, like the big interior sum roof and leather seats all I wanted. My dad wanted like all these safety features and like, you know, it doesn't have fucking ffr. See it breaks the podcast.

Remember that, I don't want them to tune out. Yeah, what's going to ask? What sort of car is it?

But then I remember the you could say anything and I'd be like, oh.

Yeah, that one with leather seed, one with leather seed and a.

Dog, Matt.

Women can have it all, they can. Yeah, yeah, all right, Jenna's writing this down too. I can see you've never been married in this lifetime.

I don't try.

And you have a cat, one complete opposite of Jenna's life.

Oh my god? Can I just say I got a cat? And then I was like super nervous about it because I was like, did I suck up and getting a cat? This is mannic just mayhem. And then it was like thank you, Jerry. And then it was then like the same week Jenna and Mitch were talking about how great it is having a cat and how it was like the best choice they ever made, and I was like, you know what, this feels universal. So thanks guys.

You in that moment.

Oh yeah, Like I took it home from at work and I was like, this guy's shitting in my poplant. He's ruining my life.

Enough about your ex husband, though, you don't let.

Me feel so much better about getting a cat.

So much about Welcome to the Crazy cat Lady Club, Darlan.

Welcome, Like, so you seem so impressionable. She's like, I'm getting a divorce car, I'm getting a podcast cat. All right, Well, Bradley, can't you in? And then you hit us with your is it just you something you've noticed you hate to appreciate?

Okay, Donning, let's gay? Is it just me?

Did we all just kind of like forget about the Olympics?

Honestly? Yes?

Someone mentioned that it was happening what this week at the time this episode comes out, and I was like.

Jenna, and no, you're on that old old state radio station.

I'm not even certainly allowed to mention it on the podcast.

We're not actually so yeah, broadcast rules. Yeah, because a certain network pay for the media right, Channel nine this year have the media.

Rights to the sporting event, Yes, the games, the game? What should we call it, Lexi, we have to use code. Well, no, Jenna, you know, and we'd know because yes.

We normally refer to just the games.

The game. You can't say you can't refer to the athletes as the name of the events, correct, So you have to call them athletes or sports people sports swimmers discusses. It's actually a head on air if you don't have the media right. Yeah, yeah, but also did you get this, Lexi?

Honest to god, I love the song, but I don't think it fits. The official song of the Paras Olympics is espresso.

By that, I don't know.

To be talking about it that much is going to sue us for millions.

I didn't even know it was in Paris? Is it in Paris?

Allegedly? I don't know. They're swimming, they're swimming in the river, in the river river.

That's so boo.

She I don't even know it's expressed though.

I don't even know that she's the official commercial. She's talking to a bird. Okay, it's actually terrible, Like it's so dumb.

She's sitting in Paris drinking espresso, and then she starts a conversation with the bird, who talks back to her in bird, I feel like.

That's the only part of this that actually makes sense.

No, it's really stupid. She's like, oh, hi, you are handsome, and it goes yeah.

I'm in Paris for the Olympics. I'm so excited to see the Australians US the Olympia at the It's hard, right, I hate It's like a game. It's like operation I keep buzzing out.

It's because Channel nine have the broadcast rights. As it said, you know what we should do. We should make this our mission to save up enough that we buy the broadcast rights and then we just don't broadcast.

We don't put it out there. I want to actually see how much it costs.

We shut it down it's funny, or maybe we don't go for the athletic event. Yes, we buy something else, like could we potentially buy the media rights to the Ballarat?

What's that race? The two thousand? Oh? The bath is one down? This one thousand? Can we buy the Balarat two?

I'm detecting that you don't particularly give a funk either about the game, Slexi.

Well, I like I can believe for good. I was watching the Origin last night. The only football I ever get into and in the ad yeah NRLs, yeah forty. And in the ads there was an ad for the Olympics and I was like, what the fuck when is the Olympics?

You just said it and I was like, oh, we have to pay a.

Sorry, take it out of my pole account. But I was like, what the fun when does that start? And it said like starting in like next week. I just feel like back in the day we used to have like legends, like I.

Know and like being honest, Slexi, surely you remember where you were when the bloody Sydney Olympics opening ceremony.

Was Nikki Webster become the fuck off freeman?

Yeah? Ian thought back when he was straight right.

And like I gun to my head, could not name an athlete.

Current insane. I don't know.

Shane war Honor, he died in Bali.

It's still too thing. Guess get this.

Australia's biggest media company, Nine Entertainment, we have to keep saving. Paid three hundred and five million dollars for the exclusive rights to the next five Olympic Games, all the way through to the Milano Cortina Winter Olympics in twenty thirty.

We're only a few t shirts sales shot will be right.

And also we only want the summer ones. I don't. We don't care about Olympic the winter.

I've never once watched the Winter Olympic. Yeah once in my life.

Well maybe you've got a point lesi because the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane were canned to they they were whybe they just canceled.

Them, that's something. But they were there and then they got them again and didn't want them.

They withdrew anything. Yeah, they were like, forget it, you can't come.

Here because it wasn't the I remember the twenty twenty Olympics was meant to be in Gay Olympics. So sorry it wasn't meant to be in Japan because I was meant to go to Japan in twenty twenty. And then, you know, with something about a big blue happens, I feel like it just really killed the buzz because then it stopped the whole flour.

You killed a lot of people worse than that.

Actually, that was a really bad analogy.

I'm so shuck. I wouldn't have said that.

By the way, before we let you go, who even won the Origin? I didn't watch your care go.

To the blue one.

Overall, yeah, the decider.

Actually, it was a really good game and it will be the only football I will watch for the next twelve months. So I will act like I can be a part of straight man conversations for the next week and it.

Will really do this. Mitch up the bloke.

I know.

I'm an nurl boy. My dad played for the nrlod Well you didn't do it with me the Blaze we did it, boys.

Can Jenna just do it on our own?

Okay, up the blows?

Oh my god, thank you one.

Straight listener we had. Thank you, Lexi.

If you want to get in touch as well and have an is is it just you of your own on the show? You can send us a text on this number.

Oh for to No.

Two zero two, or messages that couple of me. And by the way, LEXI make sure prize keep it. JENNTT sends you your gorgeous type bag is it?

Thank you for coming on.

Honestly, thanks guys, have gorgeous by.

Lexi, I love you too.

Jenn divorce car babe.

She was sweet. I liked her. I liked her. Some of them, I hate to be honest, really, oh, some of them are at a waste time.

I know you wonder why some people pull out last minute and say I'm too nervous to come on because people like you say.

I hate them, people like me. It's my podcast. You hate them? I like them all? No, I like them all.

How convinced?

Should we call it the Olympics? That can be our code word? Or is that far too No?

But it's still got it in the word.

What if we just say Olympics and we say no, no, we swop the vow, it's an e Olympics.

I don't think that'll stand up in a quarter of war. Yeah, three hundred and five million, nine urs.

I'll show them the transcription from the episode. I clearly said Olympics like.

Election, but we eat L L E. Yeah, Olympics. What the hyphen?

What if your name was l Olympics?

Well, you're fat, You're absolutely doomed. You actually can't speak for the next four weeks. See you in court. Olympics. Olympics is a great drag man. Yeah, Olympics. All right, let's go. Thank you for listening, Please leave us five stars. I've been noticing that there there's been a bulk in Fux of reviews, which is very there. Yeah, should we reade out quickly. Yeah, you're better. Why not?

I don't actually keep an eye them, Thank god you do all the time.

Here we go.

Mc kkko says, I'm sorry, I'm late, but I'm hooked. I often see TikTok highlights but laugh and laugh, but I've never committed to the show. The last few days, I've needed a laugh, so I started going back and listening to previous steps. This morning, I was cruising home at the gym put on episode eighty five. I honestly had to pull over from Ugly Crime.

What was the epithode eighty five? Let me look remember, just riding.

Is to make my jaw go all weird, like it wants to start laughing again thinking about well, that's a condition.

I ping after shot.

Honestly have not laughed so hard over six months. I'd say, you guys are absolutely the right amount of funny and inappropriate, and I'm leaving for it. Thank you for turning my frown upside down.

Courts Oh You're welcome, darling Courts' was that court You'll hate this Dienner episode eighty five with top Dog with nap penfold.

Yikes, she said eighty five, didn't she Yeah, she did nap pen folds due for another visit on the show.

I bumped into her at the midyear party for our work and I opened the stall door in the toilets and she was there.

The first thing she.

Said was Wow, that's the stent And I said, who do you think you are? Just like when am I on the podcast again? And I said, never, we're having this conversation now, mid PLoP.

Really was she sitting making eye contact with you? Yes? Why don't she look at the door of the pig because she is a pig she is. That's kind of a charm.

I love black Panther just works here at the iHeartRadio conglomerate building at Pepsi Palace, So we'll have.

To get her back.

She's broken a leg so she can't get and she's.

Broken a relationship. That's true.

Broken heart and broken leg.

That's often go hand in hands. All right, guys, we're Dade.

We will see you all in a couple of days, catch you on Wednesday.

Gets by bye?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

A welcome to a to d brief. Our secret segment on the end. Yeah, we just pretend to show it's done, but it's not. We keep talking shit here correct?

That was Mitchell That crosswage we did earlier in the show fantastic.

It was so much fun.

Oh, I'm not kidding. We should actually make an app, but we should caught. We should mate.

Do you know how hard it was for me to do that? Like my brain power was gone. I was spent after doing one crossword and one of the columns isn't even a word?

Yeah, I elated, elatted.

What are the letters that I've gotten? This nonsensical column?

I L A T D ladder. Also, no one says can we take the oddos out for bins? Well it fit? God, I missed one? Whatzone in no?

Four down?

Four down? It just built itself. Didn't tell us you've already done it? Oh ru Yeah, ruths the clue that was.

Going to be if you're driving it this time and I watch out for Yeah.

It's funny because when that happens when you're playing the app, it's so good, Like you don't even have to do a word because automatically, because you've done the others, it just builds itself.

That's such a nice.

Well that's how far I got coming up with the words. And then I thought too down, I went, fuck that.

Word, well, Mitchell, really hard. Fuck. I pay for the subscription on New York Times, So do I? Now? Do you pay? I was like, I'll get the yearly one. So I so, I hate it.

I'm deleting it.

I do the Daily. Look how big it is?

Oh, I can't even do the mini Indy.

What's indy five hundred directive drive Indy five hundreds of race drive? But like, let's go to a random one, ready, like a random around, just to say how hard it is New Jersey Burrow, known for its shopping malls.

How the fuck would I know that?

We wouldn't Jersey, We wouldn't neon sign outsign a motel outside of Hopeton?

Would it be vacancy? Fake? No vacancy? No, it's four letters. You know what I mean. It's tough. Oh god full No. I hate this. Turn it off and try. I'm not going to finish it. It's good for the brain. It is good for the brain.

It is good, really, because I've had infuriating you know.

Speaking of America, I am I don't know why. I think it was because I was in the States four like the debate, which was obviously so bad for Joe Barten. I mean, I hate when Australian to talk about American politics because it's weird. But I am like hooked on this current election ship.

Oh god, do you want to come over say Sean has someone to talk to about it?

Oh my, I forgot Sean is in politics.

No, he's almost unhealthfully obsessed is I'm like, perhaps, Well, no he's not. He's getting so stressed about it to the point where I'm like, maybe we should turn the telling off.

Something that's enough news for one day. I'm going to message him right now.

What did he think of shooting?

Oh?

That was a whole kerfuffle in our house. He went through every range of emotion possible. It was what did you dis mess it?

My boyfriend?

I said him a podcast. I send him a podcast that I listened to. I want to know if you did you give any context because I wanted to be present in the in the moment.

He said that this is his favorite podcast. I don't even know if he listens to others.

He listens to his podcast That is actually so sweet and no, so does Steven It's nice to have a partner that actually is sort of aware.

That's nice.

How are you gender in the partners in the partner around anyone floating around for you?

No?

Not at the moment.

She was just like, I'm married.

I've been married for five years.

You met Bruce last summer. I talk about him all the time.

Break getting a divorce.

Sorry, I'll hear the divorce car. Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Yeah.

What did I buy my in my breakup? Have you ever bought anything that's like impulse by?

I don't need to be gone through a breakup to do that.

No, but I mean I did.

When I went through the big breakup, I was like, fuck, bought seven your body? Oh I didn't, Bunny, I wanted that. I went on Winter euro trip.

That was an extensive trip, and I'm like, but that was so one hundred percent breakup.

Fuels about six club?

Yes, I did again Burguyne Burgy, Yeah, that one burg Gun. I got into burgleyn.

I saw a TikTok recently, these three Aussies that were in Berlin, and they're like, come with us as we try to get into the most elusive club ever.

Here we go rumories you've got to we're all black. So we're at Viney's in Berlin and they do this whole they end, they don't get let in.

Poor buggers, you're discalating now that you did get I did get in. Were they going to the same club? I don't remember anything about all black, same club.

Yeah, you've got to we all black? What I did mention that?

I think so, but I don't remember that detail. Why that's a bit funer reular feel?

Is that fall down it is? Yeah, you gotta all black.

It's like it's got its rooting like Sex Bondage Club like thirty years ago, and that's a black clothing event, well leather bondage, black leather, so they kind of want to keep it in that theme of black.

I don't know, you're not going to get in a roxy you know, tank top? That was my plan. Jenn forgot any one more time? Oh do I need to tell you something?

By the way, and what apparently, as one about idiots pointed out to me, I've been quite the hypocrite.

Which is natural.

We talk a lot of shit over a lot of years on this podcast. I'm bound to contradict myself at some stay natural but I got a cat cam and I get the fuss. Yes, apparently some idiot reminded me that at the time when you got your first pat, we were sitting here going get a life t did we? And I'm like, I'm not even going to contest that that does sound exactly what we'd say.

They could get a STEMP put in for life, and we'd be like, you fucking cow, of course you did exactly.

I don't think. Oh my god. Press the microphone button and then a message to her. Yeah, and just say Isabella and see how she came.

I remember my team used to take my phone and bark.

That's so cruel, that's disgusting.

They don't do anything that will make her uncomfortable, only comforting things.

I was going to cough into the microphone, say Isabella or the animal abuse accusations.

Isabella, good girl, she looked up.

She's so sweet.

Look at her. She looked up.

Did she look pleased to hear from you? She looked terrified again, and she's never been hugely fond of you. She talks about it all the time.

She eyes I can see a blinking Oh that's really funny. Oh my god. So it's a ring camera.

Yeah, that's it's not necessarily a pet can, but that's what I'm using it for so fun.

The ring cameras. Yeah yeah. But so now you've got one in your in your house. Does it record at all times? Only if motion's detected?

And I fucking work from home and there all the time. If you go through my history of motion detected, it's it's me pottering around the house, nothing interesting up there.

How much was it?

Oh, it was like one hundred bucks or something, but like like I got it real cheap on Amazon.

Oh yeah yeah, Prime Prime Day.

Yeah, it was on special. Yeah, my god.

But yeah, I am having a lot of fun with it. The other day, I was weirdly trusting. It's like I have no fucking stranger danger in me. Because a trade came over to fix my fucking exhaust fan.

It wasn't working.

He was an exhausted fan and I had to go to pilates and I was like, mabe, I've got to get out of here. How long will you be And he's like, oh, probably another half hour. So I said, oh, that's all right, and then he goes, I might have to pop down to my ute, and I said, I'll just leave the dorn locked.

That's fine. So I left a stranger of mouse with no.

He could have easily picked up the phone, called his trading mates and be in like, guys, i've got a fuckeat here, bring the ute.

We're stealing his ship up. Yeah, but did you have the ring camera at that point? Yes?

And I didn't get anything interesting. I was hoping to get some sort of bard or TikTok out of it. I'm going to send this to a current fair. I caught a trade flogging my ship, but no, all I.

Saw him do was just whistling. Oh my god, that's so sweet. That's he was fine if it was trustworthy.

I had a message in my DM someone who wanted to come on from it is it just you? And we couldn't fit them in, but they said, is it just me? Or do you find all trade is ridiculously hot? And I think there is something to it.

There is a sex appeal one time, had Na they're old and so are you? No, I like significantly old, Like.

Yeah, I feel like I would trust them with my life.

No, I don't know what they're doing. They have to keep up with emerging technology.

I don't like when they walk into my place with their dirty boots on, they're there to fix it, vacuum.

Take off your boot.

Don't you have hardwood face? Yeah?

I don't see what the trading is.

Do you have coming over? If it's an electrician? What business did they have walking in there?

But the plumber came in?

Oh?

Fuck, plumbers are a different story.

Yeah, I don't like.

I clogged a toilet in the US and the airbnb we were in, what did you do?

Well?

There was a sign on the Airbnb let me show it to you, which I think actually is illegal. They didn't tell us. Have you guys ever been You've been to the Greek Islands? Right, Mitchell?

No?

Do I even know you? Jenny, you've been to me Kinos?

No?

Okay? When the Greek islands, you're not allowed to flush used soiled toilet paper down the toyl Yeah, there's the do you do with the yoused one? Then you put it in a waste bit? Oh, that's discussed. That's fine. That's what happened in Mikinos because the plumbing is the oldest in the world.

Places as well.

Yeah, well you guys both this was on This was the sign handwritten on the toilet in my bathroom in my airbnb in la first world country.

Read it out thet There's something in that handwritten sign that makes you think it was so urgent.

Yes, they couldn't even print it like quick.

I just imagine this being at that Colorado ranch.

Oh yeah, please do not flush toilet paper down the toilet. Please put it in the bin and provided that's fun.

Imagine wiping with dirty eyes and then just folding it in a toilet in a bin, and the bins were open.

They didn't have that flappy lid it would you just sit there and fester.

You may as well use a kiddi litter. I need to throw it up and chuck it out.

So I did ship in the toilet, and I did wipe my butt, and I did flush it anyway, and it did clog. So we had to drive to a what was the hardware store called? It was something American store and I had to plunge the toilet and I fixed it. Oh that's all. It took a plunge, Yeah, a little punge. You took a plunge. But I felt so manly plunging the toilet. It felt like a plumberm oh, this is hot like wipe actually then having a look at all it, it was awful the stuff that came out.

Yeah, I know, isn't that so humbling that came out of me? Wow?

Also some of it wouldn't have been yours?

I know, I know.

Stop.

Well, we hope this podcast made at least better today. That's all just two percent?

Thank you, so sorry. I missed the how one more time? Three? Two one? So we do much better? Do I need to up that?

I feel like with inflation, you know, we probably need to up the percentage. I feel like everyone's a little depressed.

No, we do it with the amount of years we've been active. So like it used to be two percent. We had our three year Anniverse three, were up to to three.

But we've had our five year anniversary. Oh no, we haven't had the five year anivers three yet. That's not till October. Oh, but then, why aren't we at four percent? Better? We are, But because we did two episodes a week, we've split them. You were there for this conversation. I think you're the one.

Remember we started doing two episodes a week as of the anniversary.

Really when we turned four.

And this is just me and this is not trash early, no am I all right, Faye, wouldn't recognize them in the street.

They look fantastic.

Yeah, I thought we were going, oh I mean sorry, Yes, he looks It looks fucking stuny.

It looks always no, of course, but you know at the moment like, oh my god, draw line snatched. That's all right, Fay. If you want to google them.

When you need to wrap up the phone, call your friend fabite. She's waffling, all right, fas Yeah, yeah.

All right, okay, I'll let you go.

I better get cowing when you're at the r TA and phase next in line and you're finishing off one customer, but you've got to move on, all right.

Bye?

God terrible, so dumb when she's pestering you all right, face yeah.

I know it happens all the time. Better go laugh you a lots it again, See you guys very soon. Bye, b bye.

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit to follow on your podcast app.