#202: Totally

Is it just hoo stood back a couple of mitches yourself for the rude shocks of young adults. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick? Or sit on a dick and eat a cake? Sit on a dick and eat a cake? Absolutely? If you sit on the cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd have a waste of cake? By no, Michuri and Mitchell coups. How are you? Oh my goodness, how are you? Michohn.

I'm in a bit of a fucking tease today.

I'm all cold and flwey.

I'm confused. Our new studio is still not use friendly. Everything's fucking up, nothing works, fuck off, Oh dear, it's frozen.

The screens are frozen. Is Reaper still going yeah, not responding, it's saying fuck my life? Like truly, you'd think a multimillion dollar podcast could put together a podcast studio, but no, nothing does work.

Normally I would cope just fine, I'd be like, okay, that's problem solve. But I'm very delirious today. This could be a cooked episode from me.

Wrong with you? Are you sick or do you feel like the early starts of something?

No?

How fucked is this. I've had this same sickness three times in the last like two months. I'm like, oh God, I've got a cold and flu that's going to hang around for ages. And then three days later it's gone. And then it came back a second time. I was like, oh, here we go round two. Go on after a couple of days.

Have you gone round three?

Here?

We are just keep three appearing. Got a blood test or something. It doesn't.

It doesn't want to commit to me.

You know, you're in a situation being rejected by germs. Oh your poor thing. I got my flu shot, I said on Monday. I'm still feeling a little like I'm just achy and tired. Oh is that a side effect of it? I don't know. My parent's literally my first flu shot. Price Kip Gentermen had more first. Hello, Yeah, I've never had one.

Oh yeah, I didn't realize that part.

Yeah, And I said that last time. I've never had a flu shot in.

My They inject some of the flu components into you. That's why you get it.

She told me. It's the dead flu. They put a dead vers of the flu. They put the dead flu in there. What does that even mean? Because your body like recognizes what the cells are, but it's not active, so it can't make you sick. But your body's like, oh, I know what this sort of it's like a recipe. Ah, I know how to I think. I mean, I'm no signed, I'm just very handsome.

Ever accuse you of pole often say.

Oh, well you don't look you look good. You don't oh your poor things, Like when your mum's sick, you know what is on the flyer? Is there nothing worse than when your mum's sick?

I know, because typically mums do a lot of dithering and looking after you when you're sick. Yes, but who does it for them?

It's a worse feeling in the world because they also go, don't fuss over me, just put the kettle on. Is that just me? On the fly with your dad?

Ever a bit hypocritical, he would guilt trip us and say, your mother has been slaving away in the kitchen, go and help her with the dishes. It's the least you could do. And I'm like, what are you doing to help? Yes, you're not helping either.

Dad would always do the same thing, but I guess like he's breadwinning right. Well, in my situation, anyway. I don't know about yours, but that's like his contribution to the family.

Yeah, I guess that's true, but he can still help him about that's true.

I'm a child. I didn't ask to be born.

Did you help your mom or did that? Did your staff help your mom when she was ill? I didn't have stuff? You did what you do now currently?

Jeeves left?

Jeeves left when you left the American Service.

Sweet serious circumstances.

Yes, yeah you had remember you had that break and enter.

Yeah, yeah, and you saw the robber No, Connie did Connie saw the robber cat? Yes?

And then twenty federal court like you live on fucked life?

Yeah, I went to tribunal.

You went to tribuneal.

Yeah, it's been a lot.

It's ridiculous.

I've got all sorts of wild stories like that that they just haven't come up on the podcast because you know how usually there has to be something relevant and you go, oh, well, that reminds me of one time that this happened. Yeah, you can't just bring it up. It's so many cook stories things that happened to me.

Then why don't you tell us in this episode? Tell us give us a fuck story that you don't need a segue to start, and and something that we've never heard before, Mitchell's fable. It could be Mitch's fable. Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, I can do that. Yeah.

I mean that might come in handy because we did promise an investigation in this episode into Cokeland, which is this mysterious flow in our new office building. But Cheery has promised. He hyped it up by saying, oh my god, there's a floor that's open to everyone and they can get as much free coc as they like. And then we decided to investigate this episode. Correct, the investigation has happened, you did? Should we just tell them?

Now?

Well, can I just say something?

I think you've said enough.

I'm fair embarrassed.

Well that's the other thing, because Jenna has been asking around, what's this Cokeland that I keep knowing about? And everyone's scratching their head, going what yeah, okay, but Cheery swears that.

It's a thing. Let me give to let me give context. We are broadcasting out of the Coca Cola building now own this building. They've got the neon on the roof. You can see it from kilometers away, and there's a few levels on this it's this like twenty levels in this building. There's a few levels that are owned by Coke and they have stock and Neon lights and it's Cokeland. I've been there and it's co Clan. But we went in today. Why don't you tell the audience what you saw when we.

Were trying to like settle once and for all. Is it a thing? Did you imagine it?

Is it real?

You wanted to prove to us? Yea Coke Land is at the Sceme Parky and we went to the trouble before recording this episode of rigging up the fucking portable MIC's.

We all went down there like journalists. We've got permission, we said, we're coming down to record.

Even though we probably don't need permission because according to you, anyone can go there anytime.

It's not like wet Wild.

You said, if you have access to other levels of this building, you can go in.

I said, I had heard.

You also said there's a cafetina there though I had.

Been Okay, So basically the investigation was we went down there, they saw us with mics.

And we're like, what do you do?

No, that can't happen.

They swooped on it.

So they yeah, they swooped on us like fucking flies on ship. Let me tell you. It was shut down real quick. And the reason is because it's not open to the public and they kind of gave us a pity Coca Cola like, I guess you can take one bottle, but no, you can't just go down there drink as much as you like it anytime during the day.

It's not a coke theme perk, it's a corporate off. It's literally their reception building. It's the same as if we went to Muff and Break HQ and they were just they had just muff and Break muffins for the staff.

You have the happy to this. It'd be like you're going to Donna Hayes's corporate They're saying, I want a cookie. You did that and she was like, what the fuck? Isn't a shop front. It'd be like us walking into it's.

Going to the Baker's Delight HQ and going give us a cheese you might scroll with live marks and them going we're not bakers, we're corporate. It's mortifying and I apologize Cokeland doesn't exist. So I want to say thank you to the Coke team. They were very hospitable, very warm, but they did say please, we don't really want to be involved. They shut it down. They had no idea, but they did give us an unreleased favor of Coke.

So now that that segment went tits up, maybe that's what I can do today instead? Should I just do Mitchell's fable?

Yeah?

Because I look like an absolute idiot around here now because you've.

Been saying, what's this coke claned? I keep hearing about the Cheeries promised me, and everyone's like, we don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I told a man to kill I didn't make it.

I didn't make it up, guys. I was told by other staff members. So I'm just seeing it with your own eyes. Yeah, but listen, listen, guys, come on, I'm very well known around these parts. They gave me a different treatment. They went, well, take us much of you, we love you on the pick up right, Okay, you know they gave me a They kind of handled it a very different treatment today.

Horrified.

They didn't use these words, but the sentiment was get out office. Very nice, but they just it's an office. It's like us walking into Sorry, no more analogies. It'd be like nowend it. So Mitch's Fable on the show today.

Now, I'm nervous because I don't know if they're that good, and also maybe I have told them and I've just forgotten. But whatever, I'll give it a wrong on the show today.

It'll be better than what we experienced at folk Land Journalism.

Mitch's Fable and Mitch's crutch on the Show today.

Oh, yes, So I've noticed a word that you keep saying repeatedly. It's just something I've noticed.

Yeah, you've been obsessed with my crutch since the day we met. That's true, and now you're finally getting.

To expose it to the point it's hard to ignore. Really, we'll get to that, but we should kick off with it as it's me always.

Yes, every show starts to say and do is it just me something we've noticed something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know, No mind, I do not know. Mitch just we don't know. We learn on the fly when we're happening live.

So my iGEM today, Yeah, I need to preface it, much like what's coming up later, the crutch.

I need to preface that.

It's not me calling you out. I swear, Yeah, I swear.

That's fine. That's fine. Wait, oh god, okay, mine is something that I hate. Okay, I've been given too much control over something, and I feel like it's a mistake only a new friend would make. A new friend in my life is has trusted me to do something and I've really fucked up. But you two know me so well that you would never have given me this much responsibility in the first place.

That's true. Yeah, But when I tell you you're like organizing an excursion to Cokelan, Yeah, I should never have trusted that that was going to happen.

Analogy. Yeah, all right, do you want to go first? Yeah?

Okay, I'll kick things off again. Not an attack, that's okay, Okay.

Is it just me?

Is it normal when someone tells you they're going to a funeral to ask, oh, whose is it? Nah?

I don't think so. Really.

I feel like if you're close to that person.

It's very invasive.

Because now I feel a bit awkward because I've probably asked that question many times. That's my instinct. If someone says, yeah, I've got a funeral on the weekend, I'll go, oh.

Sorry to hear that.

Who's funeral?

To be honest, are you not supposed to do that.

Funeral? And somebody asked me that I personally wouldn't mind fa maybe.

I'm just nosy. No, because the way I see it is, if it's someone that I really needed to know about, I would know who died, like I would know I know you like this is because you're going to a funeral.

Yes, this is how it came about because I said to you guys, oh, I've got to go to a funeral on the day that we would normally record the podcast. Can we do it another day because I've got to go.

To a funeral?

Yes, and neither if you asked whose funeral it was, and I was like, that's interesting. But then it's happened many times everyone. I've mentioned it too. I've had to rearrange my schedule, pull out of a lot of things because I have to go to a fucking funeral.

Yeah.

No, one's asked, and I was like, am I just fucking nosy?

OK? I would be like, oh, fuck too dead? Who's dead? Yeah? No, no, that's a question.

Who is it? Who?

Don't ask me now? Oh sorry, I won't say the name. It was just like our next door neighbors in bogen Gate. Their eldest son died and I was friends with him growing up. I'm sorry, and so no one's asked. It's happened about six or seven times, and I'm like, oh, fuck, are you not supposed to?

Well? I did send condolence, soid I hope you're all right?

Yeah? Yeah, you said, oh sorry about that. Yeah, And to your credit, no, we couldn't rearrange the We couldn't rearrange the day we were recording. I'm supposed to be on the road right now driving to said funeral.

Yeah, but I had to lunch del Camino.

Yes, but to your credit, you did offer to come in extra early in the morning today. I did very early, so that I could then drive to fucking bogen Gate after the podcast.

Correct, which it's not lost to me.

That would have been a huge fucking inconvenience, having to get up early after night sheet that's very sweet thing, and.

Then stick around here all day and do another night shit. Correct.

But I didn't take you up on the offer because is it just me on the fly. Do you hate rushing?

Oh my god, I could.

Not think of anything worse than trying to rush through this podcast with a studio that doesn't work sometimes and then having your fucking drive seven hours to bogen Gate.

No way, No, it's awful. It's awful. Is this seven hours? Well?

I allow seven for pissed breaks with your bladder. The size meant to be like five or six.

Okay, Well, there's a lot of discussion here. I think that no, you don't ask someone who's died unless I don't know.

Well, I've got some apologies to make them. I think there might be part of people's brains that thinks I don't want to get into it. I'll just say sorry for youel lost. I don't want to fucking hear the whole story.

Yeah, totally. I haven't been a touch on Touchwood to a funeral in a while. I've actually been to a few recently. Have you really too many? Oh? God, all is that what you're going to ask you? Do you want to get get Ben Baber?

No?

Please, don't it.

No, But I was like, I'm not rushing back because that just sounds like a nightmare. I would actually rather wake up early as fuck tomorrow and just drive there in time for the funeral because it's in the afternoon. A funeral, That's what I was thinking.

But not a problem.

As it turns out, the funeral has been paste paint, has it? Yes, because they haven't given the body back yet.

Did you know this? How fuck is this?

Apparently there's like quite a backlog of.

Utopsies.

Apparently there's quite a backlog.

Oh god, that's terrific. And so they're like, we can't have a funeral and nothing. Well, do you remember during COVID you just want to allow to have funerals people like that is horrific and everyone was dying. Yeah, god, that's bat time.

My grandma died during COVID, really, and only like three people.

Could go fuck that?

Did you have to work at zoom funeral? They didn't have it even on really well, anyway, I sorry to kick things off on a cheery note, but at least I know now that I'm a nosy bitch and I shouldn't be asking who died?

Oh god, yeah, no, maybe just don't ask. Yeah, yeah, did I notice that no one did? I was like, fuck if that the normal? Whoop? That's how it works. But condoleances. Thanks all right? Shall I do my agim? Yeah? Hit me?

Is it just me?

Should I not be given any power or responsibility at all in my life? Yes? Yeah, yes I knew you guys. Did I know you would agree? Because as happened. As you know, Brittany Hockley, friend of mine, I co hosted the pick up with her on the Kiss. She was in the arm of celebrity, get me out of here in jungle in Africa. And how it works is when you go to Africa, you need to nominate someone to run your social media.

Oh yeah, maybe telling me that you were her social media person.

Yeah, and yes. She said to me, do you want a Houseit my house and I'm living with mum and dad And I was like, I love too. She got this beautiful place in Bondai and she's like, awesome, if you're on my socials, you can have my house for like six weeks. I'm like, that's a good deal. Like post the Minster stories. Well, here's the thing. Before she left, she goes, oh, I'm taking my house means you've also

Yeah.

I met her once and she's beautiful but very active.

Yes, what about the dog? If you met her?

You can't really leave dogs to their own devices in the same way you can a cat.

No, and like you can, like if it's a thirteen year old kvood or like Hamish my family dog. He just sleeps and shits. But this Delilah needs to be run off and the energy needs to be burnt. Right. Yeah, So I said, oh, I love you, but I don't really want to. I just don't want to look after the dog. Get someone else to house sit and take the dog. So she was like okay. Then the day

See that's skewing a bit admin totally with you throwing emails and assets. Your brain just goes bottom. Now it's been like a full time job. But here's where I get in trouble. I'm gonna have a look at BRIT's Instagram. If you've been posting.

Yeah, have a look, I've posted, like, I post all the reels. I even put all the hashtags. Guess who's running Channel ten social media these days, trin our old friend trin Ah. Yes, so she'll send me after every episode. Hi, Mitch, here's Brits Tucket trial. Please hashtag this this. This voting closes at this time. So I go on Bridge Socials, I post it, I write the caption.

So they spill it out and make it pretty easy for you by the sounds of it.

Yeah, but also, like you want to get unique engagement you'd know about like social media, and you can't. You don't just want to post videos that came from Channel ten.

Are you allowed to say on their heights Mitch Terierry, I'm running yes, right, Okay, Well that doesn't sound too difficult. Well here's the problem.

So i have access to Britts Socials, and I've also got access to a couple of mitches. Got access to Mitch Cheery, my person, I've got access to the Night Show, my radio show. I've got access to Kiss. I've got so many Instagram accounts that it kind of gets confusing when you go in and out of pages. The other night, I come home from work. I'm lying in bed and I go I want to just like veg out and scroll for an hour, So you sit in bed. I'm

Who was the person that had a baby that you unfollow cousin.

Fuck? Oh, it's like a whole mess. I unfollowed some bitch from school. The problem is, why was Brit following some bitch from school? No, Like, I just assumed I went to school with this girl. Because you know when you see someone that you kind of know. In my head, it's like I went to school with her. I don't She's probably want.

To like your eyes, you look at a reception building and see it as a theme park. Copingly, I'm told that my brain doesn't work like everyone else.

I unfollowed three accounts. I should not be given that responsibility.

Interesting though, because I never unfollow people. If I if I see someone that I'm like, who the Fuck's that?

I'll just mute them? Can you? Posts and stories?

Because some of them are maniacs like Jenna that have the app that tell you and people unfollow you, which I think is so unhealthy.

I don't want to know who's unfollowing me. I'll say it's juvenile, all right, Well, uh that's that.

Who was some people that have unfollowed you, Jenna that you're absolutely spewing about.

Oh, Aaron Moland, that girl from Modern Family.

What few Aerial Winter? Yeah? Why was she? The Aerial Winter ever followed you?

Yeah? She followed me for like five years?

Why I don't know? And yeah what she saw some video of you do on a podcast with two puffs, which is like she's like, who the Fuck's this totally reminds me of Cam and Midge?

Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online search a couple of mitches.

So here is it just me?

We bring you the things that we notice, hate or appreciate. Well, there's something I've noticed that I'd love to bring up.

Sure, or at least you don't hate it, which it's not something that's upsetting you. It's just something that you've seen and you've gone I'll bring to the attention of the co host pretty much. Yeah, it evolves you obviously, so cast your mind back.

Remember ages ago, I pointed out that you would always, always, always say yeah, good call.

Well I didn't. It wasn't just since the start of the show. It was a new occurrence, right, It was something that I just started.

It randomly came out of nowhere, and then I made a mash up of all the times you said good call.

Remember this. I fucking love Adelaide. I was converted. I was like, I could live here easily. Good call. Yeah, we've got one from SHANEZ. Noticed it all from women wanted to fess up.

You better actually pay because then there'll be a strike against your name. Yeah, Prime possum is primes and so Channel seven brought them out.

Oh good call. If that don't give us clear answer, it's a short flight to camera. Good call. But they were at the servo together.

If he wanted to get himself a Mars bar, why didn't he get one good call?

Yeah?

So I'm just triggering you worried that maybe somewhere in your subconscious as you often do, you read that as an intervention because I've not heard good call in a long time.

No, I've actually stopped saying it to be honest, Like sometimes I have a really good phone call when I can't compliment it. I've had killer phone calls. I've gone can't say anything about it.

Well, I just want to preface by saying that, please feel free to keep saying this word.

But you have a new fallback. You've just noticed something, Okay, because the.

Good call, you would just sort of say it as like an automatic response. But half the time you might have even properly listening to your owndmission autopile, Yeah, autopilot.

And what did you call it? A crutch? A crutch? Yeah, crutch, Yeah, I crutch you something especially in like the podcast or radio world when your brain is sort of floundering to say something. You lean back on these crutch words because your brain just knows them. Just go straight back to the default. And so you've got a new one.

The beauty of our new studio is that rather than recording all the audio into like one file like the old studio, you see, it now records three separate files.

So I've got access to.

Just your microphone, okay. And so what I did, because I noticed this new crutch of yours, I wanted to find out am I imagining it or is he saying.

It a lot?

And so what I did was I put your just your audio into the editing software.

I got the.

Software to transcribe it so like write subtitles wow. And then I did a control f to search this particular word. And in the last two weeks you've said it one hundred and four times. What and if you do the maths because our episodes of what like an hour ish, So bearing in mind that I'm not the best person at maths, but I'm pretty sure I've figured out the average.

You say this one word on average every.

Two point three seconds.

That doesn't make any sense.

Minutes every two point three minutes not second.

First of all, I think AI is a downfall of this generation, and I don't trust it. I don't tru that. There's no word that I could have said unless it's would come to play it to you, you go for it.

I was able to do an easy mashup because I already found with the subtitles where you said it every time.

All I'm hearing from this is that you're doing a lazy edit. So we'll have to talk about that back. But you're using AI. I mean, I'm not happy with that. A. I believe you did TIS. All I'm hearing from it transcribing is not AI. I don't know. It's the end of the world.

You see, this is what I was worried about. You're getting defensive.

Okay, sorry, I am, I am everyone.

I present to you TIS New Crutch.

Totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally you and I would have been like truffle Pigs. Yeah, totally, totally, totally, totally what do you bring to this show? Totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally, totally totally totally.

No, that's the same yem totally totally yes, totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally I get it from a doctor, totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally totally yeah, totally totally totally totally totally mean, we do argue, but it totally totally totally imagine that totally totally Oh yeah, totally okay, I get totally totally totally totally move on, no, totally

You've just replayed to you that that's not what's happened.

I don't want to know.

That is mortifying, really, yes, and so knowing that this was happening, I was laughing so much on Monday's episode when you kept saying totally, I was like.

So you knew before you did the review.

Fuck? But that actually wasn't all of them, by the way, because I also noticed that see those ones I just played you, I would describe them as sincere totally yes, because you've had in your voice you were like totally totally but This is where the whole crutch thing comes into it, because I could.

Even do it for you. Well, I know the difference in totally.

Well, I've got a whole separate montage of what I would call maybe let's call them disassociated totally.

Yes.

I could be wrong, but I suspect maybe you weren't listening, or you were listening and you were thoroughly born.

Yes, I was going to say, ready, listen to this.

Totally totally totally totally yeah, totally totally because yeah, totally totally totally yeah, totally totally totally totally totally totally yeah, totally totally totally totally totally.

You've got first one. You had so much enthusiasm totally yes, Well that was gonna be my next thought that the first montage. It sounds fine if it's not annoying anyone, it's a good way to continue the conversation.

Of course, Nina, as long as you're agreeing with me, which evidently you are a.

Lost totally Jenna, can you google the definition of totally yes, because what does it even fucking mean? I was hearing totally as in like toad from Mario, totally like total little flower totally.

I was thinking as I was putting that together. Fuck, the words starts to sound weird after awhile it lost all meaning.

Also, I was giving it a real d not tea. I'm not saying totally, I'm saying totally okay.

So totally is an adverb meaning completely or absolutely. For instance, the building was totally destroyed by the fire.

Yes, yeah, no, you're right. Well, you've caught me red handed. I can't can't wriggle my way out of this one. Do you know what I hate? Though?

Last time we did this and I pointed out the good call thing, we ask everyone to point out my cratch, no one came forward. I don't have one, I don't think, but surely I do.

I think you do. I must. I think it's my radio announcer in me that we're trained to do live radio. So if there's a stumble, you add words. So I think that's why I use them, because I keep them. I try to keep the conversation going. It's like totally, well, I'm thinking of something else to say.

Sometimes when I'm editing, I noticed that I say the word like a lot, and it kind of annoys me because I'm like again, and I have been tempted to edit the like out, but then I was like, don't go down that rabbit hole.

If I start doing that.

You imagine how much the longer the edits would take you.

I go rid of every like, well, idiots, what have you noticed? Does Mitch have a cruch? Does Jenna have a CRUs?

I do?

I don't think you do, Jenna. I'm pissed off because I was gonna say, well, I'm just fucking bored out of my brain, but you had bored and non board You're a genis Yeah that was I was very smart because the second ones I was definitely bored, but the first ones I was enthralled, totally, totally so passive aggressive to isn't it totally? Not all of them?

No, Like I love the ones where you're like totally.

Like a Californian and surfer totally. It's like you're on the price is right totally? Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on down. I'm embarrassed. What don't be?

This is why I was worried about bringing it up. That's something I've noticed. I'm not upset, I'm just embarrassed by it. Anyway, what can you do maybe we put that on some merch we needed merch, just totally, Oh my god, we need to get like tote bags as merch. That says totally brilliant.

That's brilliant. Another brain still on the fly, how successful?

Yes, if I had a crop croll, if I had one, a thing that I say often, I could put that on merch. But apparently I don't know.

You don't what a crotch? What did I could make that happen? That was Jenny who said that we can organize it? Is it just me the rude shocks of young adults food?

Okay, I said that I've had these hectic, fucking stories that I've never told. I don't know if on a scale of one to Jenner's earthquake where I'm sitting on the Richter scale, Thank you very much. But I did have a little think about it. I'm pretty sure I told one of these stories on trash Alley at least, but it could be new territory for here, I'm not sure.

Okay, well, I'm ready to hear. So this is a story that you otherwise wouldn't be able to bring up unless you had a natural segue.

If you recognize the story, and you realize that you have been told, do me a favor and wait till the end, and then I'll ask have you heard That's okay because it'll throw me if you're like, oh, you've heard this and I'm like, oh.

Okay, yeah, yeah, we'll get the story.

Well, I'm suddenly nervous to tell the story because I'm like, oh, fuck, I don't know.

And then when you label it like telling a story and I've.

Said, it's really hectic, Okay, are you ready?

I'm ready.

It's actually two stories. Oh god, it's an essay. This is the reason that I refuse to be desot.

Oh I don't think.

I feel that the universe doesn't want me to be designated driver. The universe wants me to get pissed.

Is this when you're bashed outside that seven eleven? Is it? Well?

Thanks for listening?

It is it? It was one of them. Oh no, I was speaking that too. Just I thought if I got it, that'd be great.

I specifically asked you, sorry, no, no kick going.

No, I feel the fool. Now I can't, I can't go on. I just was so I wanted to prove that I listened to you, and I know all your stories, but then you'll do what I did to you.

You'll make a fucking montage. Every time I've told that story, I feel like and this will become my.

Crush me just crutched. Oh my god, let's get shirts made saying I was bashed outside of seven eleven.

Also not what happened.

No, I know it's not the story. Clear the story up, Clear the story up. So there's two stories. Maybe you haven't heard the other one. Let's try. I haven't heard the other one.

Okay. The reason I if you go desots because I've done it twice and things have gone alright.

Yes, one of them.

I was going to a friend's house party and she had this really homophobic friend. The reason we know that is because one of my other gay friends asher he'd met this guy. I had no idea who he was, and he was being outwardly homophobic and he literally said, word for it, I'm going to bush that fagot oh shit. And so before we went to this house party, we were quite clear. We said, can you not invite that guy? He makes it uncomfortable, he' smock a homophobic and she

I was desot.

I rock up to the party, ashes already there and he goes, guess what the homophobes here? And I was like, fucking hell, here we go, sor right, and we'll just ignore him. We'll stay away from him. And so we went to one of the back rooms, trying to just do our own things, stay away from him. He was partying out the front, and then after like half an hour, my so called friend and by the way, we're so

What what the fuck has happened?

I walk out to the front and this card has thrown a chair through my back windscreen.

I don't know this story. Oh my god, thank god. What if you're.

Chattered the back wind screen with a chair before you're gay? Yes, all these blokey blokes are standing one laughing at me as I get into my car with shards of glass all over the fucking seat.

Oh my god.

And as I was leaving, actually before I left, I had to get all his details to his credit, he vandalized my car, but then was happy for insurance to cover it. Like we exchanged details. I've still got his fucking photo, his license in my camera.

Can I see his face? Hold on?

So?

What the fuck was he drunk? Was he blind? Drunk?

Not really sad?

What a pathetic excuse of a man? Is he out?

Now?

Do you seem at Martini gart? Clearly?

No? Actually, here we go. I found it. This is this guy's license, for God's gross. So I was designated driver that night and I had to drive home with no fucking back windscreen. And he gave me the details so that his insurance and whatever could cover it. And then this is the fucking fun part, even though I was not out of pocket because the insurance covered it, right, I paid for it. Yeah, his parents emailed me and they said, hi, so we know that you filed a

I was like play golf, totally faggot, the gas bought the world tight little pants trying to get a ball into a hole. That's my Friday night.

And so here's what I did, even though I wasn't out of pocket. I'd been down to the Holden dealership a couple of weeks prior, Yeah, just to get my you know, the bit of perspects that goes over your number plate. Yes, that shattered, and so I just paid fifty bucks to get that replaced. And so what I did this charming young man's father. I sent back an email where I photoshopped the invoice copy and pasted a next to zero, and then he gave me five hundred bucks.

Oh my god, that is brilliant. I was a poor fucking student at this Actually I was working here. Wasn't that poor?

I was poor enough that I was like, fucking five hundred won't go a.

Straight poor and gay? I mean I would have bashed your window in two Yeah. Wait, did you ever see this guy again? Is he in the same friend circle anymore? God?

No, So, as I was driving out with the shards of glass under my ass, Yeah, my friend whose party it was, I had the window down and she puts her hand on the car and says, honey, I'm so sorry. I'll talk to you tomorrow, and I said, no, you won't. Just put the windscreen back up. I haven't spoken with since you're kidding.

Do you know this person?

I met this person through Mitchell.

Do I know this person?

Nah, you wouldn't have Oh yeah, this is early days before this life BC, before Cheery.

Oh I get it. Okay, that's a great Mitchell Coomb story. I've never heard that story.

And then yes, that on top of the other time I went deso. I was driving on my friends back from another house party and I was driving Talitia's car, Yes, my old not a cup of tea co hosts. Yes, I was driving her car. Everyone was drunk and I said to her where the fuck are the pea plates? And she goes, I just don't is them, And I was like, well, that's not how I roll. I don't want to have any interactions with police tonight. Therefore I insist that we go to seven eleven to buy pea

I forget about that.

I was actually shocked that your fucking memory allows you to recall it. I was like, wow, if he remembers, then everyone else does.

Yes, I'll tell it again. Whatever. Sorry.

I actually I know what happened, because my friends went in to get snacks or whatever. I wasn't there, but as they walked out, this woman is just mouthing off at one of my friends. They're getting into like a verbal scragfight. And to be fair, my friend wasn't helping, like she was mouthing off too, and this woman, not my friend, was clearly off her fucking face.

Got it.

So I said to my friend, can you just get in the car? Shot the fuck up? You're not helping, And so this lady speeds off in her car and then I'm like, right, oh, she's gone. Let's put the pea plates on now because they brought them out with the snacks. And then as we're putting the pea plates on, the car comes back and parks us in so we can't leave, and she brings this hideous burly man with her. He's also off his face, and my friend Dealicia's car is a bit old, so I couldn't put the window up.

Wow.

And then they just started fucking trying to bash this.

Oh my god.

They couldn't because they were off their face. They had like no muscle strength. They were like this, oh no, their arms were just flailing and so, yes, she was punching me in the face, but not very hard. I was able to have a discussion. I was like, ma'am, are you sure we can't just if they talk about this.

Like a dull Yeah, of course.

And then the big burly gronk of a guy he smashed the back windscreen, so again broke in blood blood fuck because he wanted to bash the bitch in the back in the back of my friend. And then yeah, the cops had to come and take our statements. One of them recognized me. They were like, are you that guy from YouTube? And they didn't even offers a left home. Isn't that weird? Yeah?

I was like, we don't have keys, we can't drive, so how did you get home? You got the car to get Nuba? Oh? My god.

And then because we didn't have keys, we went back the next day to try and like, what do you do to try and start it? You're see it in TV show. Yeh, yeah, we tried that and that fucked the car completely.

It was right off, Oh you broke the car. Yeah.

So I was able to get my windscreen fixed obviously in the first incident, but Talisia just lost a car.

Oh my god. And did you get covered on assurance? I don't think it was insurance. Wow. So that was That was a ship day for Talia. More than anything. I think they're great stories and that I refused to.

Be designated driver. Like I said, the universe wants me to be a rat and be drunk. I'm never going sober.

That's the sign from the start is you should you should definitely stick by that.

Were there any details at least in the seven eleven story that you'd forgotten.

The limp slapping I forgot to mention.

The best part of the story is that the ice junkie bitch that was trying to bash me, No, this junkie bitch right, yes, yes, ended up dming me years later saying Hi, that was me that night. I'm really sorry for my actions that gronk of a man that I brought along with me, you know, domestic violence. I was getting out of that relationship, and now I'm all clean and I'm really sorry. I was like, so, wait, you knew who I was when you were bashing my head.

You were like, I've seen his real If you bash someone, you never forget their face. I've never bashed it. Yeah. Maybe she recognized me years later after the fact, like, oh, that's that puff that I bashed at seven over.

And gets what I did after the homophobe through the chair in the wind?

Oh you had sex him? Damn it.

I went and got drunk of course being designated now.

Yeah, because what else? What else would you do in that situation? If his dad that would have been good. If there's anything I can do, well, now that you mention it, Matt, sir, how sorry?

Are you?

Exactly?

Like?

Is that funny that he had a semi prefer Do you know his name? Can I google im?

Sure?

I think it was photo you showed me Google. I'll beat it out ready, let's go.

Is that him?

Yeah?

That's him now on the right. Is that his Facebook?

I think that's him on the left. Yeah, we found him. Is he doing really dreadfully?

Is that his Facebook? Jenna?

Yeah, he's foul.

He's aged terribly in the last few years. It is that's him. Funck is awful.

His golf career isn't going well.

All right, well, Mitchell, great fable once again, and thanks. I actually think I did tell a favor with the whole Cokeland. I think, yeah, that story will go down. That was a fairy tale to believe. All right, let's go. Thank you for listening everyone, five Stars and Apple Podcasts and Spotify if you can as well, It'll be love.

Yeah, thanks for listening to get We'll catch you through see Yahi.

Thanks?

Is It just Me podcast by a couple of make sure you've hit to follow on your podcast.

A welcome to a to debrief our secret segment on the end. Now, I'm paranoid about every throat of ever told.

No, don't see if I'm not paranoid about totally. You can't be paranoid about your stories. It's a fair game.

I've got to practice what I pray.

It's fair game. Normally, old Mitch that would have offended, but now that you know we're highly paid, it just doesn't bother me. It's a joke. By the way, everyone, how good is that unnamed coke nondescript unreleased flavor of coke? Yeah?

Nah, I'm not mad about it. This is actually my first soft drink that I've had in a long time.

Really, but there's no sugar there calories in any of the zero sugar ones.

Yeah, but what the fuck's in it?

I know, I know, I think the same thing. But then also I really.

Care about how many calories are in things. I just yeah, but I lather shit on good for your health? Really to count calories? No, I mean soft drink is generally oh totally no Ah, there we got another one.

Oh fuck.

On Monday's episode, when I was teasing that I was about to did I say it? Yeah, As I was saying, oh, coming up on Wednesday, I'm going to reveal the word that Cherry keeps fucking saying repeatedly, And somewhere within that, you said totally, And I'm like.

Here's a thing. Can I did the math? You know, a week I do twelve shows? Twelve?

Yeah, was a week, that's true, Bid, you should have done the hours. That would have been a bigger figure.

Okay, well, I'm on air nights three hours plus the pick up and that's fine. Oh yeah, so nights is five nights a week, three times five is fifteen okay, plus five hours of a daily hour pickup. Yeah, so twenty hours.

And then two hours shows. Yeah, two hours, so that's twenty two. It's not like the whole fucking day of talking.

Yeah, that's so boring.

But also it's just too many shows, which one's going to be first off, the chopping block.

Rob Mills isn't even doing that in fucking and juliet Which can I just say it's amazing. Oh my god, I saw a Juliette and I had the time of my life that production. They're not paying me to say this, but that production of Anguliette, it's not in Sydney at the moment, has been in Melbourne. I think it's coming to Brisbane, or it has been in Brisbane.

I'm not sure I really should go and see it because we've always adds for it.

Have you been, Mitchell?

No?

Oh my god.

I invited me to the premiere but I couldn't go, and I would say, like, oh, it's fine, I'll get tickets.

Yeah.

At some stage like, I don't mind paying to go. Yeah, but I just haven't gotten around to it.

I went to the premiere and I want to see it again, so I'm going.

To buy tickets. Do it on the kiddo. So well, no, say don't go, you should, guys should come to the production that I'm in. Huh. I mean and Juliette. What I've been offered a role in and Juliette in every country that toured. So in New York they had a TV presenter come in and do a cameo. In London they had a radio presenter come in and do a cameo. And then in Australia they want me to come and do a cameo in one of the scenes with everyone else. Busy beliefs.

Also, they've left it very late in the run. I was gonna say, do they do that every night?

No? No, they do it once in the in the country. They get a media personality to come and do an opera.

How didn't they do it in Melbourne?

Well, I mean they're doing it. They do it once in their country run so like they did it once in like the UK once in the year. Have they gotten in the US and the UK? I haven't go. I don't know a TV presenter and a radio presenter in the UK, you can do they have a role like a line. Yes, So I don't know if i'd be allowed to talk about this, but if you have, you accepted. No, you've seen it, Jenna. You know when Romeo when Juliette they get to Paris and they go

That's fine.

And also at the start, there's like improv at the start before the show starts, in.

That interaction audience.

Yeah. Yeah, I've got to send my measurements for my Elizabethan style costume. I'm so excited. So you guys should can't Yeah, can I just say?

You said Elizabethan and it reminded me of like one of my favorite fables you've ever told about when you got fired from the fucking Halloween from Justice?

Why is right?

It's from Titanic in Elizabethan's true.

That it's one of the funny things you've ever said. To be fair, Ros's outfits looked very Elizabethan. She had those dumb gowns on Princess fucking Peach. Totally, yes, when will you be on it?

What?

Oh? And Julia, I thought you were talking about justice fancy dress like I left there. They went into solvency because they fired me. I don't know. We're working on at the moment. It's like a picture with the radius. I want to see it. Would you come to me that, Mitchell? Yeah, oh my god, if it's actually happening, yes, yes it is. We're talking about it now, yes, because then we can use the video. It's a fucking group. It's a bonding

It, Yeah, why is that an issue?

Oh what don't you know? Oh we have history about you here, Casey? Oh do you know? Yes? I do, I do.

Casey Donovan can't stand him. She thinks he's an absolute pig of a man.

Totally. He makes her sick. Sick. In fact, when I went, she was there because she could smell me. What happened again? Mm hmm, I'm not talking about it. I'll beep it out. Mitch you can't hear this. I won't. Okay, we're back. This detailed Why Casey Donovan can't see me? Fair? She could have just completely forgotten, unblocked on socials what it might be unblocked? Who knows? That's actually my worst nightmare. I door, Casey. No, So why been able to forgive yourself?

No, it's not it is Oh my god, it's a voice You did not send a voice message apology. Hey, Casey, No, I don't want to listen to it without context.

It'll make no funk. Why did I forward announced it? Hey like politic around Casey. I mean, it's sincerely. He's in the next fifteen minutes. I apologize, but now srenda carb fuck me.

I don't think I'm blocked by anyone notable anymore, because remember I was blocked by Mitchell Kream to Psychic and then he came specifically, Yeah, he came on my birthday episode as a surprise guest, and he said to you specifically, tell him not to bring up the fact that I blocked him. Yes, so you remember doing that then. And then because it was a surprise rise, it was a surprise guest, you didn't brief me beforehand. And the first thing I said was why did you block me?

Aff Huh. Yeah, he hated that. You should have seen it coming. Who else did they get for their birth episode? They got Brady Carter. Yeah.

I gotta say, like, I don't think you'll ever be able top that episode. It was test from Mcloud's daughters. That's fucking huge for me.

Oh, put so much prepped into that.

Yeah, And I could tell that you were very dressed to that episode because you told them like, oh, we'll get you on at this exact time, this exact time, and we were running a bit late, and I.

Was like, he's so distracted. What's going on?

Fucking test McCloud pops up, Oh my god. Yeah, and there was one more seawn from short Snacks.

Here. Yeah, that was a good emphasise. That was a great episode. Yeah, and then you forgot my birthday.

That doesn't happened.

It's just a joke. We don't know each other's birthdays.

We've all established for September thirty, Yeah, and mine is four.

That's Jenna July twenty fifth.

Yes, totally totally, yeah, totally totally sorry though the engage.

Yeah, that's me listening right now. I'm bored. B this is the out of my brain.

This is the bored ship lift totally totally, totally totally notice.

That most of them.

You can hear me talking in the back.

I much bore you the.

Most, totally totally, totally totally yeah, totally totally because yeah, totally totally totally that's you.

You're boring me, totally totally totally Jenna, Jenna got one in. My favorite part is how disengaged I am. But Jenna, oh yeah, I'm clearly we have different interests. Fuck, I apologize. There's not much I can do. Yeah, well maybe what would you like me to start? But I've got nothing else to say? Just not speaking? I could try that. That is the other option.

I can turn my to be really bizarre. I'd be like, is he fucking stroking out on me?

What the fun to turn my radio? Fill her brain off? And now on is just if I don't have anything to say, I'm not going to speak. I want some drink. So now I'm just saying whatever, I want some drink. I want some drink. Son says said, oh, if you had some drink, but she means alcoholic drink to her, is alcoholic for the drink. She also doesn't know my name, so she still remembers my alcoholism though your alcoholism. No, she thinks I am alcoholic whenever I'm I'm tired, and

Yeah, what does that mean?

I don't understand.

It's quite deep when you think about it, in all the wrong places.

Your ech totally lies more fables, Yeah, fables. Yeah, this is hard without you speaking your thoughts, just your face.

At the moment, I bored, like I said, can I tell you something I noticed the other day? This is completely I don't know where nothing to do with anything that's fine. You know how certain names when they shorten it, they add an S to the end.

What do you mean? So like hear it kiss?

Everyone used to call Jackie, oh, Jack's. And I'm like, where's the S coming from? Why are some names it acceptible?

Ad an s? And I have a theory, Well, because her name is Jackie is already cutesy, right, It's like Mickey Jackie. You can't add a why to it, but.

They instead it's jack for sure, it's Jack's. And like some people I've heard people say, instead of Rebecca, they'll go, oh becks.

Yeah, that's like with Jacinda, who I work with, we call her Jack's.

You're kidding. Why can't we do it?

Why can we do it with some names? Mitch, that doesn't work, mich Like, why can't we be like Derek's, Yeah, Mitch, Paul's, Jennie.

Patrick's. Yeah, that's so true. Clint Clints, Clint, oh, Clint, Yeah, I'm swallowing Clin come over here, Clints. That's the point. I don't have an answer for.

Calling my friend Nick Nicks Nicks works.

Thanks for dinner, Nicks. Yeah, that's nice. I think it just works for some people in the same token. Why the fuck do we call Robert Barb grow up? I don't know there's other one.

There's an there, I guess, And like Elizabeth is Beth totally Caitlyn be Beth's Beth lises.

I told you I was gonna be the lyrious today. You are a little That is so funny to me. Was adding an S to be on someone's name for no good reasons? Shall we wrap the show? Then, Kyle's? That doesn't work. I just told you that I'm having so much fun, and you go, well, we better wrap.

Now?

You know what it is? I think it's when it's an X, it's actually not a an S. It's an EX.

But where's the EX in Jackie?

Well, it's not, it's but the sound is in a C S. It's X. It's Jack's. Okay, so it couldn't be an X correct. Nick's works, but you couldn't do kyleaks, you know what I mean? So it's actually the K Yeah, correct Roderick's.

There's actually not many fucking names and in with Ah Brox with age with k Sorry, guys, are we still on the show?

It's happened? Do you think we're going to be sued by Coke Cox Hope not Jax. Do you want to coax Jacks? Jack's cokess Marx? Why did I not think of Mark? It's my fucking brother's name. It's my dad's name to my middle name. Oh is that really? No? I think I don't think you had Mark? Sorry, my initial spell Mark. It's my third name. Okay, the Mitchell, Allan, Robert Churan, Alan's my grandfather, Roberts my grandfather. How are

What if we did the opposite hungry Jack?

Yes, this is terrible.

No, no taking the X sound, but getting rid of the S element. So like, oh, can you help me lift this box?

Why that's so hilarious? Someone sent me a pack. I need to do my tat hack the quick Brown Fox jumped over Brown fans. Oh, it's a real shame. What happened between you and your eck? Well done? Who's your favorite friend? Star? Oh? Courtney Cock should do in my head on my mattla bok the bunk blocks. Yeah, I have chicken pox, just one, just to show me how there it is. I can said on, can you pass me the cord? What's that dish called when you have salmon on a bagel? I actually don't know. Trust me,

Oh fucking hell?

Oh my god, Mitchell, don't turn around. You're gonna freak out. Well, well, we're in Jurassic well today, so behind you is a t wreck wreck Oh my god, you're which, aren't you? Jenna? You put a heck on me.

There's gotta be more.

No, I'm having so much fun. I just got a text from my EP saying, are you recording the world's longest podcast? Yes?

We are not to fleck, but we're quite popular. Actually anyway, I'm real horny. I'm gonna go home and have seck.

That's a good bundle end up sick. No, I'm with you on that. I'd kill for some sick.

Oh my god, oh my god, I can smell it on you. You've been having sick. Oh you're it's actually coming to now, your grace, come in. I'm so sorry. We can't stop.

We will we muhumm, you can talk. I can talk, but you can you can talk into this. Hello, this is Grace everyone.

Hi.

No, I was just finishing, wondering if we had an e t A on finishing. We can do it right now. We are taking the No, it's it's actually fine. I am yours. We just legally need to do some some work keeping. No, no, I'm coming back and we hope this are you.

Saying, oh yeah, we hope this podcast made you for at least two percent better today.

That's all. So we do better, So we do so, so we do. I'm at Grace Guard on Instagram. Give her a follow. All right, everyone, see you next week. Catch you then, bye, babe, see ya bye.

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