#193: Plop

Just hoo stood a couple of mitches, release yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood. So I'll begune a wicked as a cowboy. Because it's the Halloween weekend. We're wearing costumes and I'm going as a cowboy.

It's a wicked no, no, you can't do that. You can't imagine if I went to a titaning exhibition as a Mario brother. It doesn't make any better. Is and Mitchual coos, hello you you, Oh my god.

I don't know what's going on. I'm just a warning for this episode, but I'm in a state, a state of what I'm just in a state. We're in between moves at the radio station where the podcast studio will move to the new iGEM tower that we constructed. That it overlooks the Sydney Harbor. It's gorgeous.

We're still in the old building at the moment, and it looks like such a ghost town in here.

It's so gross. The iHeartRadio offices have been gutted. Kiss FM's in the new studios, so I'm between student video so I'm in the new broadcast studios by night and then by day I'm here. It's just like I'm just frazzled.

Oh so you're in between two spots. Yeah, it's like when you're moving house and like you've got a week of overlap where you're paying double rent. Yeah, where do I sleep? Where do I put the bed?

Oh my god? And you've got to cancel your gas and you're electricity and then someone comes for a me to read but then you've got to get it in the new place. Then you've got to cancel your internet, which no one tells you about. It's a pain in the arts. I haven't done any of that for the new building.

That's going to say how much ass is involved on your behalf?

No teething in the new building sucks because it's it's a progressive building. We've been really blessed in this building. It's old and we like own the build. We do not own the building, but it's our own building. No one else shares at the tendancy. Right, But in this new building we're level seventeen of eighteen towers, eighteen levels.

So who got the pent house?

That's a good question, actually, oh coke, Because it's Coca Cola building.

Oh right, yeah, Coca Cola building.

That's also where I keep my coke. Yeah, I've got a locker ro on level A teen. But it's one of those progressive buildings, so there's not a bin. There are sea spins that are color coded, and in the induction you were told which color represents which waste.

So if you happen maybe six it is how many people are throwing out mults in and offer.

Now there's but there's organics, which is like meat scraps, rice bones, food. Then there's plastic recycling, paper recycling, just fucking paper without ink. Then there's landfield.

How many people are throwing out paper without ink?

I don't know why I want to do that.

I don't get it. It's a blank piece of paper. In that case, it's just.

Like one of those really fancy buildings and you've got to swipe everywhere, and there's a concierge and it's a lot. So I'm just a bit I'm feeling a bit tired. So apologies. If I have some brain farts, now, that's all.

Right, We're used to them. It's fine, it's part of the chart.

Now I've been brain fart free, haven't I for quite a while? You know, the delay in answering. I thought I was doing really well in terms of brain elasticity.

Elasticity, like your brains is fucking stress ball.

Yeah, speaking of stress ball, price give a generous here. Hygiene, great to have you did?

I tell you, Jenna, I'm a little bit excited about when we eventually moved to the studio because they don't have much parking, and so it's not going to be like here where I can just rock up and hopefully someone's working from home and there's a free spot. I've never had any trouble finding a park here, No one's left a note or anything. That's just usually one free, whereas the new place that's very limited.

So there's thirty parking spots for like thousands of staff members.

Yeah, it's nice, it's two hundred staff members.

No, but in the tower it's not just us told you, I'm angry it's my first snap of the day.

No, but I'm excited because when we move to the new office, I don't have a parking spot. And I said to Cherry, how the fuck am I going to get there to record? Because if I have to catch a train or a bus or something, all it takes is one bus, not Rocking Army fucked me missing one train, and officially I'm in a TIS and it's going to throw my performance as an artist on the podcast, no doubt. I need to be TIS free and so MIT's is going to give me a.

Lift sometimes sometimes. Yeah, my schedule's very up in the air.

That's so nice of you.

I do you want me to pay you? No?

I don't want to be paid. I don't need the money because.

I know that your schedule varies. But in either case, aren't you driving to the studio, especially for the podcast? Yeah?

But then I stay there and I work. Yeah.

Well yeah, I don't need to live time, it's just getting there.

No, No, but detailing to where you live is actually it's it's about it to be a fifteen minute de tour again.

Do I need to pay you with something? I would detail fifteen minutes for you an.

The week, of course, would you, Jenner?

No?

No, well she can't drive, so resume.

If you wanted to fucking could it? Oh?

Backpenally, we agreed to this. We're excited. I'm not back.

No, I'm excited. I'm just saying, well, I don't think it'll be in every week thing? Why not oh, man, I I just don't want to commit to it in case, in case, the day comes, I can't, I get in trouble.

But why wouldn't you be able to because.

My schedules changes all the time.

But then if you're running late to the podcast, then it's going to be late anyway. So it doesn't matter if I get my own way there. If you're running late, then we can't record, you know what I mean? You know that doesn't make a difference.

Really does mean some days? What if I'm rushing? What if I'm late?

I just said that if you're late to the podcast, I have to wait for you anyway.

He was just putting a lot of bonus on me.

Is it please? It's sleeping your made to leave. That's a lot of owner.

No. No, If I'm just saying every week, but it's gonna happen, it's exciting. I'm just forgetting Mitchell. I know how you work. If you just drive, there's parking.

I can't drive. There's no parking.

It is parking on the streets all day. There's no I've.

Been really hard to get I work, and obviously people that are rocking up at like eight thirty am or in the mod they probably get all the spots.

There's plenty of parking. So I just don't want to commit because I know how you work. You like, you've promised this and I've sold my car.

Now I'm not selling my car.

I'll ride me fen with Bogga nays what's its name?

My bike?

My bike?

I'm not riding my bike all my Harbour Bridge.

You know what I want to do? Maybe we could do it on the show. Actually we can't because we're not live, we're on the cloud. I want to do it on my radio show where I overlook the Harbor Bridge. I go call now if you're listening and you're on the Harbor Ridge, and flash a light, right because I can see the Harbor Bridge. Wouldn't that be fun?

Why do they need to call to do that?

So no, I don't have to call. I just say on the air, flash your lights. And then I watched the bridge.

I think Rope mcmanusport or something like that back in the day. He had a camera overlooking Oh what was it? Where does the Prime minister fucking live? You're really on the other side of the bridge, on the north side, remember this, And he was like everyone watching right now, just turn your house lights off and on, and then were all these apartments flashing. That's it was really cool.

Time has changed now.

Then also people would have slashed their fucking high beams on the bridge. That's a bit of a hazard. Actually, just people behind them.

Twelve dead in radio stunt gone wrong. Mitch Jury urges drivers to turn lights off that.

Are listening to Smooth and they're in front of the person flashing their lights. They're gonna be like, what the fuck is going on? To a pullover? No, I okay, maybe I want the gorgeous idea. I get where you're coming from, but it might be a bit dangerous.

Flip on your windscreen, wipers depressing, and no one does it.

What if because it's radio yeah and flashing lights, you can't hear that. What if you's got everyone to beat their horn.

I wouldn't be able to hear that from the studio.

If you send someone down there with a mic.

Oh that's a good idea.

We said, you absolutely fake the whole thing. If you can't hear it anyway, you'd be like everyone's flushing their light. It worked amazing, No, that's everyone had to take your fucking word for it in New York Street.

But then also I could just do sound effects on the desk, like we've got roving reporter Paula down there on the Harbor Bridge. Do we get anyone hunk your horns?

Now?

Perfect? Wow? Incredible?

That works really good.

What did you say? The reporter's name of Paula? I'll be Paula.

Okay, all right, we crossed. Now hold on, we make it very kiss? We probably should. Sure, all right, they're a very fucking kiss. All right, live now on the Sydney Harbor Bridge, we have roving reporter Paula, who joins us. Now, Hi, Paula, how are you?

Hi, mich I'm waiting by the bridge to hear if everyone honks their horn once you give them the countdown?

Okay on three everybody, one, two, three?

Yes, it's so loud down here.

Yes, it's incredible. Did sound like someone hit another person? Did that happen.

Paula?

Paula's deceased. Now wow, I don't think that'd be good. Wow, the international passenger, your phone's falling into the sea, crazy under the bridge. Just get a water.

I've dropped my phone off the off the bridge.

What will I search flop.

I just flop, I just search. What else would you call it if not a plot?

Let's real, Let's do it again one more time. Roving reporter Paula is down live. She's joining us on the phone. Now, let's get her up on. We're just calling her through. We'll get paul on connecting to the harbor Bridge. Paula, are you there?

Yes, Mitch, I'm standing by on the harbor Bridge. I'm very excited. We're going to see if everyone can honk in unison once you give them the countdown.

Buddy, it's a gorgeous day. The sea is blue, there are dolphins jumping. Let's go one, two, three, so loud. You're so excited, you've just dropped your phone. Oh, Paula, was that Pooh? That actually terrible?

Okay, well the first time, just me. We started every episode. It's just me. Each something of notice, hate or appreciate.

Yeah, Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's.

I've got no fucking clue over here. No, Mine's just.

Something I've I've noticed this week. I got a little new drive to work, and I'm a bit frazzled with my surroundings. When you have a normal drive to work. You know you check marks, you I know your landmarks, you know what you're going to go past. You know what you can get. You can't get in this new area. I was searching for something you couldn't find.

It, right, don't you hit me?

Oh am? I going first?

Get into?

Now let's jump in? Is it just me? Do more businesses need to embrace the drive through model?

Why they're not enough drive through?

Think about it. McDonald's hugely successful, yep A Porter also has drive through, is hugely successful. A Guzmini Gomez Mexican now to drive through successful, KFC does drive through, Red growth Through of course red Rooster. What are they all having in common? They're fast food outlets. You know what I'm killed for. I'll drive through fucking Bunnings. Wouldn't that be incredible? Takes all the guesswork out of the aisles.

And it's not the same as click and collect. No, no, there's hours between.

Correct, They're very different models. So the drive through model is it really only works on places that you can grab something off a shelf. It's also arguably quicker than fast food because you don't have to cook anything. So Bunnings if you've got like a staff of ten that just wait at windows, that can run to an aisle and get something that a speedy drive through. I don't reckon it to be that speedy bunny. Really, some bunnings are bigger than others. But imagine having to run.

Through the aisle.

Well, yeah, they'd have to like condense the aisles that have to be a separate section. I just think that model.

Somebody on the intercom thing and then another team retrieving the item.

Back.

They'd be like, sorry, it's gonna take a while.

Can you park in the waiting day?

Yeah?

Yes see that'd be a pain in the ass. What about it ikea drive through? Would that not be incredible like that?

If it means I can avoid ever entering Ikea, than sure, thank you.

But imagine driving through a showroom. They couldn't fully mock it up. You know the bottle oos that have the drive through bottle oos? They exist. You kind of drive in and it's like you're in a house and you go, oh, I want that, I want that, I want that, I want that. You drive through and you get it.

I noticed when I was in Melbourne a couple of weekends ago that they have more drive through things than Sydney.

Oh that's interesting.

What do you know? They were like drive through cafes. There was even a drive through kebab shop. If anyone's got a hankering for a kebab, they're in no state to drive. That's not a good idea.

I've never actually had the thought to have a kebab sober ever.

Imagine the amount of fucking taxis and ubers that have been sent through there. Keep your right back.

See that is a brilliant idea. What about a drive through chemist? Guys get your prescription on the run, don't have to get out of the car.

But I love a chemist run. Yeah, I know that makes me sound one hundred bit.

I do the other things you've said. Of what else do you think of work? I think there's any brands that would work. Oh, this is brilliant. Emergency room drive through Sometimes you're not too sick to go to the full hospital, but you go something's wrong, there's no doctor. I want to talk to someone. A drive through hospital would be incredible.

And if it's anything like the Macas drive through, for instance, they seem to prioritize drive through orders. If you're standing there in store. They'll get someone else's order ready before yours because they're more urgent about drive through. So I could have driven through the drive through hospital. I'm been like, I cut my finger cooking. Can you please give me stitches now total, rather than having to wait in the fucking waiting room for ages. Look that's my wound.

Oh show me?

Oh fat?

Oh my god?

Yeah, trigger warning before that thing.

I'm giving it a band aid free day, bitchull that's a gash.

Yeah, it's a proper game and it's really disturbing.

Oh that needed stitches.

Probably it's got spray on band aid on at the moment.

I don't think that's how that works. I just think the model is brilliant and other businesses aren't un'n adding it on. It seems like so straightforward.

I know in Dubo they've got the cafe drive through and it does very very well.

Yeah, I reckon it would a cafe drive It is so easy. Yeah.

I also think that even though it's fasts through and you can't fuck with it drive through subway, No you could.

That would take for ever. No, it really wouldn't. But imagine like just multiple windows with the vegetables and the fruit on the right hand side.

Yeah, they want salt and pepper. Would you like a cookie?

Drive down to the next window please.

Is there any drive through subways? Maybe that's already a thing.

It sounds like the US, I.

Reckon it could be a nightmare. Well, in the US they.

Have drive through ATMs, which I think is genius. Yeah, they do.

And drive through banks.

Yeah, apparently there's a drive through subway in the Logan area southeast Queensland, and there's one in Wangarada, Victoria. Oh wow.

In Australia, craigieburn I love, I love Craigie Banya. Well, I've googled it in the US that they do voting polls via that drive through. You can vote in your federal election via drive through.

Now you're supposed to get a sausage sanger.

I don't have that.

That's now. That's the only thing that Bunning's drive through should sell. Just sausage sandwiches. Oh, it's no product, not just the sausage sandwiches. Did I tell you that My friend and I had an idea. Yeah, we wanted to open a ghost kitchen because one night we just wanted a sausage sanger and they're not on abre Eats. Yes, so we were like, right, we're opening a ghost kitchen. It can be in my apartment. Yeah, and we're just doing Uber eats sausage sizzles.

How does that work? What's a ghost kitchen?

As in like you can't Actually, it's similar to the Bloody Donna Hay thing. You know, you walked into her business, but you could only order to cook it on Abrea the Bitch, so you can't visit the restaurant in person. They're just online orders and so it's just us in the apartment whipping up sausage sizzles. Not much variation, just barbecue or tomato, bit of mustard, maybe whole meal or whitebread. That's need onions, onions. Yeah.

Problem is you need to do a search charge for Uber eats and then what a six dollar delivery fee for a two dollar sausage sandwich.

That's proper gap in the market. It's gaping like my finger, that gap in the market. We need something sandwiches on uber eat.

We need to get Jenna are you she's your aunt? I think jeanninae Ellis from the from the Boost Project. Get her on because I think we need to pitch to her. I reckon, we can get Joanna.

Ellis, So why are you getting Jenna to do that?

They look the same.

Have you spoken to Jenna Elis?

I have spoken to Genls. You've probably got more of an inn I think you might. Ever, let's just.

Picture all these shit ideas and see how polite she is about it.

Let me DM John Ellis for the International Listener. She created Boost Juice, the biggest juice franchise in Australia.

We love a good fucking boots stuice. I've never had to take advantage of the one sip guarantee?

Do they have that?

Apparently? You know what?

I love it, And I don't want to say take advantage of the children. They do hire a lot of children. But sometimes you go, my fun fact is my hack, sorry is never order a large boost because the kids never get the quantities right. You always just end up getting your life. Oh my god. They've got that giant fuck off blender and then they just tap it in with their hand and then there's so much left. They go,

So if they're young, you just order a small because you're gonna end up with it.

They always make more because they never get them to.

Be like, oh it's a small, but I've had to put it in a bigger.

Yes, I'm not joking. Actually think it's happen every time've ordered to do it. I have just googled in Europe. Only in Switzerland there is a drive through brothel you can get sex. They will come in your cart.

Well, wouldn't it, said carm No, I no, apologies. Is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app.

If you don't, you're a little bitch.

Now, before I tell you what to expect from episode one four YEP, which is out on Wednesday, let me just ask the quick question both of you in the room. Have you've been a bit tired lately? Struggling to sleep?

I mean yeah, I started this episode by saying I'm pissed off and grumpy and overworked.

Yes, of course, very sleepy.

Have you been struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep?

Who's Who's I'm trying to think of any sponsored Instagram stories from you this week? Is this some sort of kind integration.

Finally, No, don't be said cynical. You snap at me, I'm trying to help.

Your third snap for today. Oh you're trying to get me on those fucking magnesium tablets. I'm already on them.

No, I've just bought some, so we'll see.

Yeah, Mitchell got me onto. They actually do help. I have been a bit restless.

Yes, yeah, so I've got a sleep pack that I want to try. Oh, okay on Wednesday's episode.

Oh great.

I don't know if you're actually going to fall asleep in the studio, but if it happens, it happens.

Try in this current mindset of mine, I feel like it's it could happen.

We'll have to make sure for Wednesday that we've got that extension caught on the mic. Maybe you should actually lie down on the floor.

Yeah, let's do it.

Fully commit to this.

Okay, here, I'll commit.

Yeah, and then the idiots conceive if it works for them to I'd kill for a little. Particularly it helps with the ADHD mind or even without ADHD. If you've got that monkey brain, like the thoughts are racing, you can't switch off and go to sleep. Yeah, this might.

Help okay, wow, I doubt I'll take you any help I can get when.

It comes to sleep, I've got your back, darling.

Do I need to bring my sleep bat mean machine? No, because I'll choke it. I'll be embarrassed if you hear me choking.

On the floor. No, we don't need that.

I'll good because I do have mouth tape in my glove box.

Oh well that could come in here. Okay, good, just the shut you up? What do you bring that in? Every day? Also on Wednesday, I assume all of you are across the Kate Middleton so called photo shop scandal.

I'm a living for this. Whatever the funck Kate is doing or not doing is so interesting to me. I think she's dead, to be honest.

Well, I hope that's not the case.

No, no, no, no, I'm not wishing it upon her.

But no, there's definitely more to the story. But basically, the version of the story they're telling us is that Kate got caught out editing a photo and all I'm here to say is that it happens to the best of us, Katie. And on Wednesday, I'll share my most embarrassing photoshop fail, which also made headlines you've got to.

Kate Middleton, I do yours almost had an international celebrity get involved with some litigation, some suing.

Yes, you're right, Yeah, you're right.

That was bad. That was a bad That was a really good hook. That was a grim period in Mitch's life. It really was all right, we'll do that on Wednesday show.

Yeah, we will, We've got to.

Is it just you coming up in a bit? Do you want to do? Is it just me now? The Mitchell?

I'm ready hit me, Bradley?

Is it just me?

Have you figured out the key to win over tradees? Oh?

I'm not really interacting with trades much.

Oh, it must be nice. It must be nice that your home isn't crumbling around you.

No, it's not h clearly you have yeah, oh yeah, the key just dating one at the moment.

The good thing about living in a rental is that it's kind of not your problem. If something is wrong, you just send a fucking email to the property manager. And mine are really good, Like there's usually a trading there that day or at least the next day. That's very it is really good. Not the norm, and so often they come over and a lot of the time towards me. I can tell they're a little bit tip toey around me because they probably take one look at me and go, oh fuck is it a he? Is it? Ay?

They choke on their big am and yeah.

And then I figured out the way to win them over. And so they're just at ease, and we've got a vibe going. Just drop an F bomb, not at them that you don't call them a but if you just drop an F bomb, you just see the weight off their shoulders and they're so much more relaxed.

Give me an example, so I'll be the trading.

Yeah, the other day there was a trading that had to come over because my tap in the bathroom was broken. And he walked in and goes, ah, what seems to be the problem, So just ask me that.

Oh, oh fucking what's that cat?

I know he wasn't swearing. He was like tiptoey, like a bit nervous. He looked like I could be imagining it a little bit, but it looked like he just didn't want to say anything to offend me. I look woke.

Yeah, of course, and you've got a lot of color in your apartment.

Yeah, terribly.

He was fine with the cat.

I hide the cat when they come over in case they nark. I'm not supposed to have purse.

You get your brandie points those types, all right, Yeah, what's what's the problem with you?

Mate? Oh I'm not even fucking sure. To be honest, I'm hoping you can figure it out. It's very that.

Yeah, okay, I can see your point. That makes sense.

The other day there were trades in the elevator as I was taking the recycling down, and I had quite a few Amazon boxes and they were quite big, and I got in the lift with them and they said to me, ah, you've been doing a bit of shopping, buddy, And it was sort of like in a mocking way, like been doing a bit of shopping. Have your sweetheart a little bit like that only girls shop? Yeah, And then I fired back with, yeah, I don't know why I ordered the tiniest thing on Amazon and they put

Would have loved it.

I'm like, we're on the same level, Dale, don't Eastres.

You could have also said nothing worse than a big empty box and they would have loved it. You know, they really love and degrading other people.

It's a shame to see a big gaping box go to waste.

They would have loved it. And that works with gays as well. To be honesty, that just bridges What if.

They found that really misogyny's sick? It's the f bomb that wins them over. I'm telling you that would that would be more surprising.

It's like, how dare you It's on International Women's Week, It's a week it should be Yeah, well you crack the code. I don't think that works for everyone though, Like if you said that to a pastor, that would really upset them.

Are they a trading No? I said how to win over a trade saying to go call a nane ahead, No, don't get a twisted Maybe give it a go.

No, I'll be fine. You know, why don't we give you a roving report to to do this?

A fat fuck? I have to confess my sins. There you go.

I'm not having many trading interactions, to be honest with you, I've got some trades in my family.

You wouldn't have any trouble though, because you even that time that you were trying to leave your house and there were roadworks out the front you couldn't get your car out, and you were just like, oh sorry, mate, blah blah blah. I feel like you can blow it up. Yeah, I can't blow it up. The only thing I got up must leave is just being foul. That's my only secret weapon.

Yes, and I've never been able to achieve that.

Imagine me trying to be like good, ay copper, how are your chief come on, big dog coming?

I don't say that good. Actually that was very good.

You can blow it up.

Your straight voice is very good.

Yeah, no, no, you're such a liar.

No, no, I remember when I first met him.

I'm a bit out of practice voice. I'm a bit out of practice. Actually been years since.

It has been a long time.

Yeah. What is something I said? How much is sugar JITs? Yeah?

That's good. Is when you just bring it in, naturalize it.

A bit, it's better naturalized. Yeah.

Yeah, I just like it's all low energy because.

Before you're excited, a lack of gusto. That's how you sound like a straight man.

Do you sound like your brother?

That's actually I'm trying to like to be honest that he thought they were training.

That's funny. I think it works well on you. It suits you.

I think they'd know that I'm putting on a fucking facade. If a trade walked in and I went, yeah, get a cheap man. Check out the rack on that bitch in unit nine totally.

I want to see their reaction.

Sean walks out in his yes to me, brother, that's worth.

It's the one apartment.

We're here for a hens do.

Yeah, you should have been in five minutes earlier. We just let the proth out.

Yeah did you see that whore on the on the way out? That big buck and I'll talk about Amazon will awful. I hate being a straight man, that's awful. I want the record to show that that is not how I truly feel.

And you spent so long being one, I really.

Did he did? What a waste of time you have?

You told the story about what someone that you claim to have rooted on this podcast pulling you.

Up the girl y? Yes, I don't think I have.

Are you allowed to tell her?

She just told me. I can't name her, but.

The problem is that you did, and she confunded you.

And said, oh, yeah, we.

Never fucked, and then Mitch, I'm so sorry. I was protecting the identity of the woman that I actually fucked.

All right, this is raver about me.

Was the first and last name of a real person to cover the identity of the real woman he fucked. And she was furious.

I know. It's like the police being like, did you kill Sam. I'm like, no, I killed Brenda.

No.

I saw her recently in the Shire because I moved back home, and she was like, hey, so good to see you. You know you're doing so well.

We love to see it.

Can you stop telling people we had sex? I'm like, what do you mean, Well, you said you had sext and you named me in full. I'm like, oh, but we didn't. She's like, I know, that's precisely issue, and oh, I see the problem. So to protect the real identity of the girl that I had sexted, I just used a fake girl, but it was a real name that I went to school with. I'm an idiot. I'm an actual idiot.

So you just threw this other woman under the bath.

We didn't even have sex. I'm confused by it all.

Imagine the news reporter being like, we can't name the murderer for legal reasons, but Madonna has been sansins the twelve years.

That's round. If that's how the law works, Yeah, wouldn't that be funny? We can't name the killer. They just use a fake name. I didn't even have sex with this girl. I felt so bad for her, didn't even kiss.

He used a full name.

I can't be sure what I even did or said. I've only slept with three women, for God's.

Sake, and who were they?

No full name? Let's not talk about my sexual history of women. It's triggering. I didn't enjoy it. They did that?

Well, oh god? So they said anyway, anyway, are we done with this? And do we want to get anither? DIFU?

Let's get someone on. Let's let's dial it up. We're doing something different now. If you want to get in touch, if you've got an is it just me of your own like Mitch and I do every week. You can dms at couple of mitches or on this number. You can send us a text.

I thought till nine four zero two.

Nine.

That's the number, and if you have sent us a text in the past or even a DM with it is it just you and we've not gotten you on, don't be disheartened, because really, this is how it works. About five minutes before we start recording the episode on is it just Me Monday, cheery, fucking just luck of the draw, goes through the messages and goes, now, what I'll do.

That's true, but it's like.

It's not like we've read them and gone, oh that's shit.

No, no, So it really is just.

Like you take one pick every week, and so if we haven't gotten you on and you've messaged us in the past, fucking shoot us another one. Totally ideally include your phone number in the DM as well, Yeah we.

Need your phone number. But also I'm the one organizing is just using my track record, so yeah, well they just know how terrible I am at organizing anything. So it's never personal. If you're left on scene, well.

Yeah that's what I mean. But also, as someone on this end who has nothing to do with organizing the is it you don't appear un organized?

Oh thanks?

Yeah.

I actually send out a bunch of messages and then people are in different times and then they go I'm at work, can I do? I'm like, no, where the celebrities you work around ours? I've said, that's not what I've said that Mitch and I both agree on that. Pome.

I've seen the messages really quite firm.

I said, no, we're so busy. It's a bit of a lucky dip. Right, It's not like you read one and go oh fuck that they've messaged. I'm not getting them on. If it gets ignored, no, don't take it personally. Just send another one.

Correct. Ye. If we've also spoken in the past and we've left you on scene, just go, hey, bumping this because we would love to get you on. Yeah, all right, today we're going to call Alisia in that cute. I love that. I think Alicia's such a good name. If I had a baby girl, I'd go with a Lisha. At some point.

When this kid.

Feedback this week, it's divided.

No, it's not, Nona. There was one post in the group saying, have the when did I ask? Jokes had their time? And you were the only person in the comments that agreed.

Because if michole what's your name? Everyone's scared to agree. They're all scared. You should the hordes of messages. I get this is a safe space to say to voice our opinions. I'd actually love to show me one' the time. We're going to more Dillock. That's a dumb name. What am I saying that?

Right?

Alisha is in more Dilock.

Oh?

I think you said her name is more Dillock, and I'm like, Nosha.

It's a beautiful name. That old name a kid one day More Dilock.

Alicia, more Dearlock cheery. That's beautiful.

Sounds like like a creature that Godzilla would kill. Thank god Godzilla killed the more Delock.

Sounds like some Harry Potter ship.

Yeah it does anyway, Harry, you need to drink more Delock.

So what's Mortlock?

That's where she leaves, allegedly in Melbourne. I know, let's give her a call. Well, she'll be able to tell us Alisiha is joining us now for an Is it just you dialing her through the phone?

Hello?

Alisha?

Hello?

How are you sweetie?

Were?

For the love of God do you live? I've never heard of it.

It's in base Side, so southeast like Melbourn.

How do you pronounce it?

Mortilic I've heard of that which was not you're a liar. You've heard of more in the attic.

What is it?

Oh god motil.

Actually, yeah, that brings more of a belt I was saying.

I was saying, sorry, I do know how you got that stupid Where is it Melbourne, isn't it?

Yeah?

Melbourne Suburbs?

Nice, glgeous.

Today I'm doing UNI.

So you guys have given me a good distruction, So thank you.

That's our pleasure. What do you study?

Psychology?

We all need help?

Yeah, what kind of pediatric or non pediatric?

At the moment, it's just like an undergraduate degree, so it's pretty general. But I'm hoping to go into sport and exercise.

Cych.

Oh, I can tell that you're a psych student because like you have to pre organize your distraction. You're like, oh, you guys have given me a good distraction. Like you can police you own distraction. If you're anything like I was in UNI, I need no assistance finding distraction. Yeah, I can find them in the dulles of rooms here.

Oh I'm usually quite bad, but today I was like, you know what, I'm going to sit down, I'm going to get it done. And then I saw your message and now I've.

Got a distraction, hand it on a silver plat.

Well, we're gonna do you have an assignment or something?

Yeah? What are you doing?

I do at the end of the week. It's like a literature review, which is always fun.

Yuck, it's so boring. I couldn't even get reviewing Edward Scissorhands in standard English, and you can, let alone a actual literature with view sounds awful.

Thank god, I know.

I don't blame you.

All right, Alicia Bradley? Or can't you in and hit us with you? Im?

Okay, thank you?

Is it just me?

Does chocolate taste a lot better in the morning than any other time of day?

Oh?

And I liked you that first.

I liked you absolutely not really, I think so because sometimes if you've been eating all day and you have a chocolate that can tip you over the edge and you feel a bit thick. But if it's east for example, and you sneak a bit of choky first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, especially if it's fit in the fridge, ah, beautiful.

Books, like with Easter, it's different, like in the morning it's nice.

No, I disagree, because in the morning I don't want sweet until at least after twelve, Like I need savory in the morning, and then I want a chocolate after I've had my dinner.

Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Mitchel?

I want savory in the morning, like eggs or toast or veggiemie, and a coffee, like a bit of coffee.

If you start really early.

Even worse earlier it gets my body will go into toxic shock if I have something sweet that early in the morning.

I don't know.

For me, it's like the taste of it. It just tastes so different. I don't know what it is. And it started from like you know, when you have like an advent calendar, so oh yeah.

Oh you know I can relate to this film.

Yeah, and you always have it in the morning, yes, because you're really excited because it's countdown for Chrissy. For some reason, it just that's where it always started to me, like it just always tasted better in the morning.

Oh, I would eat like the first four days in the first day I was such a little chover, would.

If they ever had my advent calendar chocolate first thing in the morning, because often it was the highlight of my day. And I'm like, well, I can't have it first thing, because then it's all fucking down from there, and I'd save it.

Why don't we do Advent calendars for other events? Alicia? Like, we could do it Easter one and just have three doors for like the three days Jesus was missing or Advent.

That's kind of boring. Can't do three?

Well, imagine a birthday advent calendar, you know, like say, for example, your birthday, you just you start a month before your birthday. They're just a month ambiguous.

A food calendar because Advent is Christmas.

True.

I love a cheese Advent calendar, an Advent calendar as a countdown to my birthday because my birthday is July twenty fifth, I am it, And so it's the twenty fifth. Wait, yeah yeah, is Christmas the twenty five?

Yeah?

Yeah, I just had a mind fuck going way.

Is that right?

Yeah? It is? So I could just get any old fucking Advent calendar of my birth Well.

You know what I did. He had to toot my own horn. But for am I saying his name? Have I revealed his name? My mystery men?

No?

Oh, exclusive, I'd love to know if you were.

A good Detective Dale and you wouldn't be able to work out.

Yeah, the idiots went full inspector gadget, and I use inspector gadget because it was the worst detective work I've ever seen in my life.

Anyway, for him, when you're the worth that covering your track, no photo of him on your Instagram there is.

Yeah, that was like a little clue, you know, an easter eg. Yeah, it was an what I did when I went to Europe, Right, I went to Europe.

You just flat out listen to what I did.

I just want to show you how romantic I am. I went away for twenty five days, right, which was just a coincidence, And you know, he was like, oh, sad, I'm not going to have you over Christmas, and I'm like, okay, so it's I'm gonna be alone. I'm like, oh, you poor think. So what I did was I went to

Oh, what did you have to remind him of you? A lock of hair or something?

There was? Well, I bought a five pack jock strap pack from Calvin Kine, so we had five jock straps every third day.

Wow, that's a bit of fun in there.

Oh, gorgeous things like things that he loves, Like he loves lip glosses. I bought him lip glass. He loves the dazzle things, so I got him like a sun visor for him to wear, not like a light for him to wear on his forehead or any dazzles. It's easy to see.

I see just a little things that he likes. Yeah, exactly right, Minor the ones that go down in the mine.

You did not I did?

There, I did? I sent then that was an accident. I'm still pretty happy with was one of your better jobs.

I hope it was for Audient anyway, I am just real romantic, and I wanted to say that.

Will good ideas for my boyfriend.

I'm actually I'm a begin I'm big into grand gestures. It's like I love it. I love a big moment.

Mitchell Krims knows my boyfriend this is so niche. But I hope you remember he's not, is he?

No?

No. I was sitting front row at Mitchell's Melbourne show last May and my boyfriend is called James, and he was with me and you interacted with him a lot during the show and I was so nervous I barely spoke and he just did all the like talking for me. I loved it.

And God, didn't I give him a hard time?

What did he do? What happened? Tell me?

Oh my god, straight man right in the front row. And I was more or less saying, you don't want to be here, do you dull at all? To this bitch that dragged you along? And he was, he was a good sport. I think I gave mclick, didn't I my Yeah?

And to me it was with one of my pantic Yeah. I was meant to go with one of my best friends who shout out to Charlotte she loved trash Allie and also is it just me? We're meant to go together, but she was unwell tried to take James instead, So I can't.

Tell that he wasn't the idea anyway, he loved it.

Is a convert?

A convert? What do you mean?

Like?

Is he converted to listening to the pot? Is he a fan of Mitchell? Now? Did he enjoy it?

Oh?

He loved it. I always have it on in the car, like I sometimes listened to it when I go to sleep, which is really weird, but I hear it.

Did you like trash Allie?

I did? Yeah, I did. From there, I'll stop.

I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking. I love you, Alicia. Thank you for getting in touch. Okay, DM Price, keep you general. We'll get you a prize.

Okay, Well, thank you so much.

She was sweet. I liked her all right. Well, we should probably go on that night, shouldn't we.

Yeah, we probably should.

Let's go.

We hope it's Oh no, never mind, we don't hope. You think what are you talking about?

You've never said anything like that before.

That's shocking, and I never I never would.

Why would you be dumb to do that?

That's stupid.

We'll be back in a.

Couple of days for the Wednesday episode. Mitch's connection to Kate Middleton and his celebrity legal crisis will be explained.

That's such a better way of putting it.

It's true.

I'm like, I've had a phototop fuck up, and you're like an international celebrity scandal.

That's my inner kiss FM clearly Nation. Last night I said on air, I was like, we finally have word. Is Kate Middleton deceased?

That next and then you came back from the break and said, we don't know she photoshopped her neck out.

I don't know what I'm talking about. Sometimes I'm like, the media have a lot to answer for that. I realized I'm the media. Yeah, isn't that actually really worried Now.

I do that too. I'm like, blame the media, and I'm like, oh, I write the stuff.

I'm the media. That's devastating.

Can I tell you half the reason that I'm so fucking swept up in this Kate Middleton saga. It's because at like three forty five the other day, I jumped in the car and I'll have to go to the post office because I was getting you passport photos, which, by the way, they are so atrocious. They're atrocious, the passport photos I got, the new ones.

I doubt it.

No, I'll show you off the cloud but they look awful. Anyway, I had kiss on and you were talking about it on the pickup. I was, and that's what got me swept up because I hadn't really heard much about the Cape Middleton thing, and now the media with you talking about the photoshop veil.

I was, and I was being very into it. I'm really involved in it.

Yeah, now I'm there with you.

I was playing the dramatic music and everything.

Yeah, here the X Miles music.

That's all I have. That's my dramatic music. Give me a mood. Ready, what story are we talking about?

I'm joyous and I'm skipping through a meadow.

Sorry, that's mystery.

Sorry, that's pink pen. You give me one, Jenna, I'm crying in a closet.

Oh fuck, I remember. I really am out of practice.

All right, we should go. We'll catch you back on Wednesday.

We should have guys seen a couple of days. So is it just for me? A podcast by a couple of Make sure you've hit to follow on your podcast up.

Welcome to add brief our secret segment on the end, do you want to see the passport photo? Yeah?

When you said that, I'm like, save it for add brief, because sometimes when we get to the end, we get so excited with a flood of info. I might save it, have nothing to talk about.

So I actually went to the post office for a different reason, and then I remembered that.

What was the different reason that sounded sus well?

I just had to pick up a parcel. And when I was there, I saw the bloody photo booth of passport photos and I was like, oh, fuck amaze, I'll get that done while I'm here for Bally. Yeah, because I have to renew my parcel before I go overseas. And I thought, God, I'm a bit fucking tired today. But surely with a camera flash you won't be able to tell how tired.

I said, No one ever, Mitchell, I bet it's not even that bad.

Are you so dramatic?

Oh no, I'm being quite fair to how bad it show us the photo? Look at the bags under my eyes?

Is it bad?

It's really bad? What have they done to you?

I don't think they did a thing. That's what I look like his photo.

That's not our boy, that's not you, that's not you.

I'll get rid of its deep.

I don't want to stop it, get rid of it. It really makes me sick.

That's not you.

They're purple.

This fucking passport photo booth. He literally had a box against the wall and he sort of unpacked it and it had two walls by my side and a roof above me with a light in it. And then he took it on the iPad. But can you take a step forward? And I'm like, shouldn't they be in the box of light?

Yeah?

And so I was back lit, and so there was no light on my face and the iPad had no flash, and so it turned out like this with these horrendous eyebacks. That's the fucking riven eye or those bags.

I'm sorry if.

The rainbow serpent has been fucking digging across my face.

They look like abs air bags of deploys.

The passport people would say, that's not you.

You're going to get to by nag, so you need to check those two bags.

They're gonna go.

You're over the baggage limit. They're under your eyes.

Do you know what if they said to me, I'm so sorry this overseas trip that you are really looking forward to, we're not letting you on the flight because we don't believe that's you, I would still be like, oh, thank god, I think that's what I look.

That's a compliment. A compliment. Yeah, it's really funny.

So can you just vouch I will post this in the group and you'rean idiots? Can you vouch that I'm not exaggerating an awful photo.

It's not how you look. I don't want you to think that's what we think of it. But it's not a flattering you, Mitchell, that's terrible. I also look cross e show what's going on. But to be honest, Mitchell, how much did this cost you? Ten bucks?

Eighteen?

You can just get it reshot you don't have to use those.

I'm such a tight up. I don't think I'm getting that rat.

Kate middle to his photo shops.

Yeah, we need to get that to Katie.

I know I can't even face tune them because they print them for me and then I mail it to the path of.

About how it works.

Yeah, not that I would face tune anything, because, as you'll discover on Wednesday's episode, I can't be trusted photoshop.

I used to face tune. To be honest, I still have face tune. That's just my admission.

I'm glad you got that off your tears turning the air off?

Is anyone, It's really no.

I actually turned it down because it's the first time in five fucking years nearly that it's not been freezing cold in here. I was mentally prepared to be frozen, and I walked in here it was quite warm. Hello. Yes, sorry, have you forgotten your podcasting?

Where am I? Sorry?

See? This is what I meant about the brain thing. They do happen occasionally, of course.

I mean, I've got a brain illness. For God's sake, I can talk.

We're so luckily.

I'm just blessed.

I fucking praise Jesus every day for the blessing that is your speech.

Yeah, every single day.

Totally fucking maw. Guys just talk too much. Even I'm over it. We're also the media. I'm like, I'm the media, Jenny, you're the media. It's you're the media too. We all have a lot to answer for.

Yeah, the fact that we have one in the fingerrap we just.

Sit to band together. We could use the time we spend weekly together recording the show. We could actually what if we pivoted right and we just wanted to solve I don't know a missing My brain always goes to the poor girl?

Which one?

No, I'm going to you know what, I'm going to google another one and I'm going to bring attention to another case.

Why well, because.

What's the case.

You're referring to.

The most famous missing child. All I want to do is bring attention to it. As of today, the show is not is It just Me? The show is called is it just Me? Or do we need to solve the case of John and a Ramsay? And until she's found.

She has been found. She was found when she was dead.

They find her.

Yeah, they found her body.

Oh, you're right, she's not missing. Well, apart from the name that shan't be spoken, arguably the second most famous missing person currently is Kate Middleton.

You're so true.

Find everyone there you go. We've used our course, we've used our plan.

We're rebranded back to is It just Me? The hitter regional.

Everyone goes looks for cake now. Anyway, I felt like a bit of a shit friend the other day because there was one point in a t D brief last week, Remember which episode that you said, I'm going to a weekend away everyone, And then I said, was it Twine? Yes?

I said.

I said, oh, me too, and then we started talking about my weekend away. And then we got sidetracked talking about bloody.

Apple watches or something something.

And we never circled back to what you were doing that night.

I thought we find out what much.

I was in the car on the way home and I went, oh, no, no, you would have that. We're not aware now.

I posted it on socialist. Jenna's like are you going away? Yeah? I went on a weekend away. But it's done.

Now, tell me about what happened.

Nothing. We just went on a weekend away, just for a week, a family weekend away. It was lovely. I got offered an Airbnb for free, full transparency. So I took it.

But you said you didn't pay for it. You said you did pay for it.

I said, so I'm not getting paid for this. I didn't get paid. I didn't make any money, got it for free. I said it on socials because I didn't with a friend I went to school with it. I had great fucking sex with. Her name is Belinda Smith. It actually was a girl that I went to school with. She's like, Hi, Mitch, we've created a new bed and

Who's Penny?

Hamish's my elderly caboodle. But we have a new dog called Penny.

Oh, Hamish must be spewing about that.

Well, it's my parents. It's not my parents' dogs, my Aunti's dog, right. Yeah, but it was swooped by a hawk. You'd know all about hawk.

That's the kinnea pig.

Yes, the second time I know you track record with hawks.

I've got audio. I've got audio.

Also, the hawks were squawking their fucking heads off in the background when you were last working from home? Have they got a vendetta against you? What did you do to offend the hork?

Pissed off the birds?

Have?

Look at this. We were walking back from small town Milton and it was a property right and all the dogs are in the backyard and I'm like, oh, there's our house. It's gorgeous. Oh what's that in the sky. Is that a lorikeet? Now it's got talons and a hook beak and blood on its Beakady, it was swirling around the backyard.

It's going for Penny.

Choke, Mom, grab penny.

Fast forward.

We had so dramatic Penny, Penny, Penny.

We saved Penny, but it was a genuine hawk circling Penny. And then we told the townspeople, is like, that's how I lost my Kelpie Jasman in two thousand and six. That's a kelpie is a big dog.

They also pack a punch, like they'll fight back. A kelpie, it'll eat that fucking hawk. Alart.

This was such a big bird, had such a big wingspan. Anyway, Oliver state, it's great for family.

Also, did you have to go to BONDOI beat?

Yeah, I forgot.

I kept getting ads for you small zy shaving heads.

Yeah. So I was at the Bondi Pavilion shaving heads for a genuinely brilliant cause, Philukmi Foundation, World's Greater shave.

I was.

They wanted to show that rivalries can be put aside to build a bridge, because nothing is more important than curing leukemia, which I agree with. So me and Smallsey, who's my nighttime radio rival in the ratings, we beat him. I beat him, he beats me. We beat each other. We top each other all the time. Well, and they got us together and we were both shaving heads at Bondo Beach. So you were there, Yeah shaving Yeah, so yes,

But a fifteen minute detaib to pick up set me too much to commit to it.

They were a bitch, Jenna.

Is it because were you being paid for this world's greatest shave.

Ship was working? Yeah? But it was? It was, of course for charity.

It's a good course. What if I pay you general every week? But I also expect an Instagram story tag had to tag ad who would I do? Pack?

Can I do paid partnership with Mitchell Coombs? Or do you have to be ca Yeah? That's pretty funny, just sponsor you that what's going to take to get a lift. I'm happy to give you a lift. I'm just saying, if there's an instance where I go, hey, it can't happen today. I just don't want to get in trouble.

Yeah, okay, that's fine. But also hypothetically, what would the instance be.

I don't know. I just like to future proof myself, right right, I truly don't know. For example, natural disaster. That's all I can think of.

If the day comes that I'm expecting you to pick me up and then you say to me sort of last minute, I can't come. You won't get in trouble from me at least, but you'll be in trouble because I just won't be able to come in will I won't be doing the podcast point.

That's what I mean. You can't hold it against me. Is parking.

So basically I'm being told don't rely on me.

No, I'm not. I could just say, why don't you want to drive?

I can't drive? There's no parking.

Is parking. I'm there every day.

I've been worn by everyone that there's no parking there, and you are not there every day. You've got a parking spot. Of course that's parking for you.

Yeah, well, sorry, we hope it's.

Podcast feel at least two percent better today that so we do.

For example, if I said I'm going on a tropical holiday, I have that ready.

For example, what do you mean example of.

What IM's going back to me being really good with the sound effects?

Okay?

Or if you said, how do I get to the Kiss studios in the new building? I go, you take the elevator, dummy? Hey, the new building is in the new building? Is the Coca Cola building? Get this one of the levels. I can't remember which is the Coca Cola.

For Yeah, you can you say it was the top one?

Oh yeah, I think I don't know. I think I'm assuming it is. It's one of the levels. If I have my building, I'd put myself on the top four. It's free coke. You know those coke fountains in the US that have the LCD screen on them. Yeah, and you can like tap and it just dispenses any drink that Coke has ever made.

No, they have it.

Yeah, And it's free to all stuff between the workouts of nine and three. So even as you Jenna Benson, oh my god, there's also a coke cafeteria.

No way, how are you telling us this now?

Well, I think it's exciting, but.

It doesn't apply to anyone.

I'm being honest, is yes, Jenna, I don't fear all right, should we go? No? No, I'm showing you what it is people, because.

People are We don't need to do this on the podcastle.

And I aspire for that. You know, Nah, you're just gloating that I've got a coke found all right. I was going to show what the coke found. Ill when I get that too, not after Mitchell's outburst. I'm going to speak to Beverly Coke and Paula Collar. That's how I got married and they formed Cocoa Colar.

She's very modern, she kept her maiden.

She did. She's very progressive.

She's a proud Coke. Yeah, she is and always has been fans of the cocaine.

And I said, Beverly, you probably want to change that. She's like, no, oh, Cola won't.

She's getting real old now, everyone's like, where's Coke cane. She can't walk properly.

But their daughter they named me Samantha, so she's just Samantha.

I should have said this, I should have said this. Fuck damn it. I'm editing my joke. It's a family heirloom I bequeath unto you the co cocaine. Yeah see that's good to help you hobble around.

Oh yeah yeah nice. Yeah all right, we've really milked that for Allsworth.

Yeah. So we do thank you.

We do see you in a couple of days.

Guys catches sinnity. It's by is It Just Me?

Podcast by a couple of mies.

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