#191: Hard Launch

Just stood a couple of mitches. Hello. Yeah, you raise yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.

Yeah, no one says the word turn as an adult. Kids would be like can I return? You don't say that she as an adult? Can I return? In your car? And Mitchell coos hello you, hello you, Oh Mitchell, how are you? I'm pretty fucking good. Have you seen our sex and new artwork?

Oh, Mike, As you watch this, you can be looking in to Actually, sorry, listen, you can look into the eyes of two gorgeous sexy men.

And the truth is, yes, we did wake up like that. Yeah, we did our third Wheel price keeper. Mona Jenner is here.

Hello, I'm here.

You did so well.

You nailed your role.

Listen, and the rumors are true. Yes, I flew to Europe to the Louver to investigate the image for the artwork. It's all attacks right off, That's why I went to Paris Industry.

You actually stole it?

I did, Yes, I did. Well, that's the real frame and no one knows.

Jenny, you were great back all this time, and you got it back well.

You were there. Of course when Leo DiCaprio painted it. He didn't finish it. And that is because tell him why.

Jenna, because we had a thing going on and then had sex.

Yeah, oh you were just Timothy fucking You couldn't sit for the portrait any longer?

Yeah?

Nice?

Did you could have sat on him while he painted it.

No, we tried, didn't of course.

Now how are we feeling after Marta Gray? Everyone good?

Good, really good, honest to God like I was fine. I was at home in a spa by midnight.

Yeah. After doing the parade, I was ready to shut it down as well.

Yeah. Now I want to say nothing but good things about Fusion Pride in March with your beautiful partner Sean's he co founded the charity.

Yes, I feel like there's a butt, no knowing, No, I feel like there is.

Well there's two butts. Yes, one thing I found hilarious and the other thing I will be seeking action for.

Yeah.

First part is I met the other co founder and I said, Hi, how are you sweating?

Good?

I'm charity And I went, oh, lovely, you work for the charity street Yeah, I'm charity and I'm oh good she works for the charity. Awesome. And then later in the night I said, sorry, I dang, Actually, get your name? What was your name? No, I'm Charity. I M I know where you work.

It would have been I'm Charity. She's got an American accent.

Name is Charity.

Isn't that so fitting?

She worked with the charity.

You came over to me and you're like, what's her name? She literally just said.

And because she's the co founder, I had to have so much respect for her, because she's a beautiful person too, but I could not, for the life of me remember her name. And it is Charity. That is so funny.

Her and her partner have a joint Instagram account, Peter and Charity. How would you react if I started a second Instagram called Mitchell and Shawn.

I'll leave you in this, in this work relationship.

I don't know why, because it's them. It seems like a normal thing to do. But when I was thinking about it, I was like, I could not get away with that. It'd be so fucking old if I did that.

There's one Facebook account that I have called Allan and Sharon Clark, and I worked with her at Coles and it's their hybrid but the profile picture is just the two of them. It's like it actually makes sense.

But if you notice that Facebook doesn't let you write and or put the actual end or symbol, so that's why they usually put an end. So we were like, Aaron and Karen, Oh my.

God, I've wondered what that means.

Yeah, okay, so they just won't put An and Aaron Karen, Yeah.

Yeah, yeah right. Well, Charity was lovely. They were all nice. However, I will be seeking legal action and I will be litigating against them as I was forced against my wheel carry a giant styrofoam letter you two seconds before midnight, like figuratively speaking, two seconds before we paraded down Oxford Street. Betty said I'm injured and I said, part of me. She said, I'm injured.

So we had these big styrofoam letters that spelled out Fusion Pride, Yes, our riving reporter, Oscar and I. We had to dither over sourcing paint for it. Oscar spent all day in the sun and he's got the worst. Some went back painting the letters and then all we needed was to summoned to I can carry them. I would have, but I was in the dance troop. If you were, you were Jenna had a big rainbow flag that she was holding.

True, I was there, but purely just and then smile.

Last minute, someone must have dropped out, and then we're like, right, we need too strong boys, and you were one of them. Yeah, And I found it kind of funding because I'm like, there's no way you're going to be spotted on TV if you've get a giant letter block in your faith.

I was lift. I sent out a press release.

To pr your ego must have died.

Someone looked at me in the crowd and went, you're better than this, they mouthed. They mouthed it to me that you're pretty successful. I went, this is embarrassing. So I had to hold this giant fucking you to make matters worse. I was next to the f infusion, so if anyone took a photo, it just was looked like I was holding an fu.

Well, it was a bit of an f U to you, wasn't it really?

Well?

You were right up the back.

And then sorry to Betty grumpy, I was Matt. Betty went, I'm injured. I went, I saw you downing rod carette bulls in the park, Betty. And then she wasn't there. She had a bubble gun walking through Marty grasshit in the bubbles.

I'm like, you, bitch, I mean she was, she was you major frustration known because you broke the U. You broke the fucking letter which they were intending to keep for future events, and you broke the fucking you. So like the stick that the letter was on top of snapped very brutal, and then you just stabbed it through the tyrofome. I'm like, oh god, it's not only broken the stick, but we can't even repair that. There's now a hole in the U.

Oh I finally got to stab you on Oxford Street for years. No, So what happened was I was exhausted at the end of Oxford Street and the U is it's the letter U. So I could lean in the middle. So I put the stick on the ground, lent on it, and I must think i'me slimmer than I am. It just snapped under my weight and everyone, because you know, a big public place, it was a giant loud bang. Everyone shrieked.

The thing with those letters is that they're not necessarily heavy. That is really fiddly because there's styrofoam. But it was windy and it was literally like you know those circus tricks where you see people balancing plates on sticks. It's like that, yeah, because you're like, holy shit, this thing has a mind of its own totally.

The lady next to me in their goes to me, oh my god, how are you feeling? And I went fucking exhausted? But you didn't hear me. Shit, I know. Isn't it amazing?

Oh?

I thought she was going to be like I'm tired to she was on cloud night, so I didn't want to burst her bubble.

Did you hear what they said about Fusion on TV? On the ABC Martiguck coverage?

No, I didn't watch your back. Nuh.

So we were a bit worried because we had a few messages from friends being like, mm, did you hear what they said about fusion? Apparently a Courtney act who was there as part of the coverage went a bit rogue. Oh, Sean had to send them a script ahead of time, you know, a bit of a fact sheet about fusion, and he goes, well, that wasn't in the script, and everyone was saying, here, did you hear what she said

I can. So this is Courtney Act on a live on ABC.

Yeah all right, okay, marching for the first time tonight. It's Fusion Pride Northern Features out with the terms in the subscription. Pride says that knows matter or who you love, that he's a place for news in the Northern beachure.

The Northern Features unfortunately has a bit of a grim history. The coastline was known for its gay beats in the eighties and was the target of horrific hate crimes, but systemic failure to support these victims did not go unnoticed, and we've come a.

Long way since then.

It's great to.

See the Northern Beaches reclaim their pride tonight.

See that's actually nice, wasn't act?

I can get around that because it's amazing. That's where people go wrong. They turn a blind eye to the past and the history, and I think it's good.

They're good on Courtney oh de Seaun that's going to be the new Instagram bio for Fusion Pride. It's great to see the Northern Beaches reclaim their pride Courtney act. Yeah. Agree, that's a good fucking endorsement.

Well, we should get Courtney on and tell her about how you were hate crimed in the manly boat dock bathrooms.

What was that place called again?

Boathouse?

Fuck, wharf bar?

Wharf bar?

Was it?

It was warf bare in the bathrooms, hate crimed.

Yeah, we've come to stay far Courtney.

It's been six months. Bach Well, I had a great mud great it was very fun.

I was jokes aside, Was it fun for you? What did you having to carry it?

All? Jokes aside? No, this was my fourth march in the parade, and uh, it was like one of my favorites. It was lovely.

I think it was one of the more fun ones for me too.

Yeah, we'll being with you guys was cute so much. She reunited with contraceptive diaphragm Sam.

I felt a bit bad because I was hoping, when I wasn't doing the choreographed bit in the dance troupe, yeah, that I'd be able to walk with you too, so that if there happened to be any of our idiots there on Oxford Street watching, they'd see the three of us together because they knew that we were going to be marching in the parade. Yeah, not marching. Can you imagine it's actually marching. I don't know why they used that word marching. Yeah, it's a bit right left.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was planning to walk with YouTube, but we were so scattered and you were right of the back with that letter you was, and so I was like, right, when I'm not dancing, I'll at least try and walk with Jenna. But she kept whacking me in the fucking face with that rainbow flag. She didn't want a bar of me.

No.

I was very very passionate about your duty.

You had one role and you wanted to She was in her own little world. You actually were, and good for you.

At one point we really got the crowd repped up because I was gonna was like, let's go fucking twerk next to Jennet, where we're just like grinding on it and everyone's like, wow, it's so fun.

Someone in the audience was clearly an idiot, because I would match, please get over a hug, and of course I can give them a hug. This you bent over them and I hit an infant. You know how people bring parents to the crowd. This baby, Thank god its skull was formed. If that was a soft cradle cap, it would have been killed. You Like, I tapped it in the head up when the pope touches a baby, and it just because the sick mitch. You're right, it's like two meters so a band. It was like yeah,

Oh, it's just start of fying, tapping.

Out right, touched by you.

No.

I had a lot of fun and fusion Beaches Pride, honestly Northern Beaches. Yeah, thanks to them. Yes, I enjoyed it. It was really fun.

It was so much fun.

I had a great time, and I was planning on mit. She's like, oh, you want to come back to going to friends after I'm like, yeah, I might. I was fucking exhausted, yeah, no, like I was dead to the world.

Well, I wasn't going to any official after parties because fuck that. I was just going to a friend's place.

Yeah.

A little bit further down where the parade started, the other end of Oxford Street, and we were a couple of kilometers away. We started walking in that direction and then we realized, oh, we're on the wrong side of the road and the road is closed for the parade, so we have to walk back to more Park and go over that big ramp to the other side of

Yeah, it was a good Martin.

It was knackered, but no, it was great.

Yeah. I hope you idiots had a good Marta grow too. Anyway, if it's your first time listening, welcome to Is it just me?

I feel like we've officially launched season six now, Like I said, it was a soft launch, we're underway. Now that we've got the new artwork.

Work is so hot, like we all did so well. Honest to god, I think it's our best yet. Let us know if you like it. It's a whole new era.

And shout out to our contraceptive diaphram stands are putting that edit together.

Yeah, of course the other ones happening here. Oh sorry, thank you Sam. We love you Sam, We love you ses Sam. Anyway, welcome to the show Time Listening. We start every episode with is it just me? Something we've noticed? Something we hate or appreciate? Which doesn't know mine? I don't know mitches. Uh you want to go first?

Yeah, I'm happy to kick things off.

All right, let's go.

Is it just me?

Do you hate it when the boring things your parents tell you are actually right?

Oh?

Anything my parents tell me that ends up being right is frustrating.

It is because I'm like, damn it, they were right all along. You know how they'll stay really boring shit like, oh, you don't need a mcfloury for afternoon tea. You'll spoil your dinner.

Oh we have we have ice cream at home.

And I'm like, shut up, no, I won't as an adult. I'm like, you're right, I will spoil my dinner. You're right, there is a water bottle in the car. I don't need to buy that bootstoos. You're right, yes, no, and so the most recent one. You know how if you're a bit sick, they just say, oh, just get a good night's sleep and sleep it off.

Yeah, I have a idea.

So the morning of Mardi Gras, I woke up and I felt the old and flu symptoms coming on, and I was like, oh, fuck me, here we go. Because you know, when I'm sick, it usually hangs around for quite a while. Yeah, it makes itself fucking comfy.

The illness sous lingering you.

I've gone like a month and a half on this podcast with a croaky voice bool because it just fucking stays put. I do not get better no matter what I try. And so I woke up a Martogram morning I could feel the cold and flu symptoms. I was like, oh god, I'm just gonna have to push through today and then after that we'll deal with the illness. Oh my god. I was fucked by Sunday Monday, it was awful.

Listening to Jane's advice, yeah exactly, And I did and by Tuesday I was like, wow, Wow, what really?

What I reckon? I slept for like twelve hours. It was sort of on that cusp of oversleeping where if I'd gone even a wink of more sleep I would have been fucked all day. Yeah, but I felt amazing. Went to the chemist. They gave me the good drugs. Oh yeah, And so I had another massive sleep on Tuesday night, and oh my god, I'm unstoppable. Really, thanks Jane,

Yes, it definitely is. Also, it doesn't work for all illnesses. You know, if you lex crushed by a tractor, I.

Would encourage rest in that case to well actually.

Yeah, oh my god, is rest a universal fixed for everything?

Yeah? It actually it killed me because I even had to cancel bar class this week.

And how many weeks straight have you been?

No fucking I've been going every week since like January last year.

Didn't they give you a pin, no earn a shirt or something?

Yeah?

The one one hundred.

I'm almost a two hundred club mate, I'm loving it. Oh sorry, I'm so and so Yeah, I had to cancel that. In the past, I woant to just pushed through because I'm like, oh, I love me, bar class, I don't care if I've got a bit of a sniffle, I'll be right. Yeah. But this time I was like, no, no, take it seriously, fucking rest and I bounced back, did you well for a period of time? Yes, because you now, like when one thing goes wrong, it just kind of

Stand up.

I'm wearing a really baggy shirt today because I'm basically pregnant right now, like I need maternity.

I got up. Yeah, wait, that is a baggyr shirt.

It is. It's because my stomach is so bloated and so it's really sore, Like every time I stand up I'm like, really, yes, it just feels like I need to let out a riper burp. But there's no burp there.

Oh that's a really bad FEELM know. Right the drugs.

Well, I can only assume I haven't done anything else different yet it would be and I just feel so gross now. And then to make matters worse, Look what I've done?

What you got a band aid on your finger?

What happened?

I broke a nail.

I probably need more than a band aid.

Cut it open?

When when when.

I think Wednesday? Oh shit, will actually no, I would have been Tuesday night you were cooking, yeah, because I was like, I feel great. You know sometimes when you're sick, you kind of just use that as an excuse to be really lazy. Uber eats idiots. By Tuesday night, I was like, I feel great. Had Andrew come over? I was like, I'll book its dinner. I've got all these bloody dinnerlies that have piled.

Up bloody literally yeah.

And I was dicing cabbage and then accidentally sliced my finger. And Andrew sitting there on the couch and goes, oh, you're right, And I was really downplaying it. I was like, it's fine, Yeah, it's all good. There was definite gushing. Oh seriously, to the point where I probably should have gone and gotten stitches. But it's too late. Now I just have to so it stopped bleeding clearly. Yeah, well I think it has now, But the whole next day the band a would get all bloody.

You need to get stitches.

I've left it too late. Now I go, got it.

Well, you have to do it early, doude.

Yeah, I think within the first twenty four hours.

Oh no, it's wrapped up. It's probably Wait.

Did you try. I'm having a lie down, good.

Sleep, perhaps go to sleep fingers light.

See that's when Jane's advice doesn't work. No, yeah, hemorrhaging and bleeding, don't lie down.

But the problem with a really fucking sore finger, if you've cut it or what have you, is that you kind of forget that it's sore or that it's a problem and that you can't function normally, and then it'll just hit y'all. Like when I was driving here, I put the indicators.

On our Oh yeah, oh.

It fucking hurts. So I'm trying to type without using that finger impossible, And it's like I know that I've not had some like grave illness or some terminal diagnosis, but just a few little inconveniences one after the other. Blocked nose, saw finger and blowed to tummy. I'm like, fuck my life.

Yeah, that's it's awful. Why don't we get you a carbonated drink and try to get a bur what a b make you feel better?

Well, they encourage no carbonated drinks. You've got a blow to tummy. But maybe that's actually the key. Maybe that's where they're going wrong.

You have carbonation. That was.

I've got some sparkling water. I'm going to take a deep breath and swallow the air as well. Oh my, this is right. Mm hmmm trigger warning if you don't like burps. Here we go.

Does it happen this quickly?

Takes me a while, it's brewin I can fix it, or god, it's moving. Maybe we should move on because it'll probably just hit me it.

Appear at some point. Yeah, probably. Well, we hope the thoughts and press well and do you feel better?

You know, well, it's a little bit less painful to touch firm the tummy.

Do you go?

It's still a Burt marathon? Will it?

Burd is it just me.

You can follow the show online just search a couple of miches.

If you don't, you're a tighead.

Now coming up in episode one ninety two. This Wednesday, Oscar and I did a roving report when we were down at Martin Gray. Did you even notice that working on that?

I didn't know. I didn't and only until you said we're doing a roving report. I thought I had no ideabt so I am. I'm not across this, but it's a Marti Gray report.

Well, the reason we kind of kept it from you is because it was about you.

Yeah, I've gotten that feeling. Yeah, did you talk to the furies? It was one night. I don't. I don't regret it. I don't regret it. So now it's offensive. People don't like those sounds, right, it turns them mid.

I actually didn't do that on purpose. It just kind of came out anyway.

It took over your body to you because I had like a he's back yet arched once again, like you're sean.

Anyway, Yeah, we were doing a robing report, essentially prying into your personal life. Yeah, why would you do that? It'll makes sense On Wednesday, I'm.

Not going to be embarrassed, am I I do you think so?

No?

All right, I wasn't even drunk. I was sober that night. I didn't even drink.

Didn't you know the actually have sworn. I gave you some of the vodka I snuck in.

No, I didn't drink any of it. Jenna can attest to that. I didn't drink.

I think he did.

I did, you, bitch, I didn't. And you know what I don't like.

I remember smuggling some of my vod cup, which is still not enough to get you drunk.

Miche No, definitely, And it was hours before.

The parade, the fucking Marshaling area were there for and up with.

The marshaling era. I didn't drink. But oh my god, quickly, let me tell you something. Jenna was with me. I don't want to eliminate. I said, you're an adult. Yeah, you can walk. I don't know where it is with you. So I grabbed it by the hand and wrote my name and my mobile number on a wrist. And as we were walking through the parade in the marshaling areas where all the floats sort of congregate, they're getting the line. Yeah, they're getting line. So it's you know, there's nearly.

Two hundred floats, so sometimes you're in the marshaling. If your float one hundred and ninety two, you're fucking waiting while.

Four or five hours. Yeah right, So where the Fusion Pride Northern Beaches one eighty I think we were.

Were we seventy six six, which really fucked me off because my favorite number seven If we were seventy so close.

Yeah, Like anyway, So we were walking through and you can see all the groups with their sites. So you walk by and then there's Furies Australia, Leather Pups Australia, Dyke's on Bike, Doms and Daddies like all these different groups, Guide Dogs, Guide Dog's Australia, Yeah, Coles and Bulley's, you know, the big differences. So then Jenna and I are walking

But I want to know how that was attached to him. It wasn't a butt plug, wasn't It was only a.

Ta and he made up.

He helped.

He was walking around all day with a butt plug in, and no shame.

Good for him. He was ready that night to go on.

The door, just marveling at that.

How I grabbed it like it was a lever in a factory and kind of just moved it out of my way, not realizing it was I thought. I thought it was some sort of like a baby born arm, like it was just this sort of silicon thing poking out and grabbed my shirt got tangled in me.

Oh my god.

I just rander the lemonadeade which mind you? Jenna said, do you have access to the kideo? And I said yeah, why said well all right, So I bought General Lemonade on the kideo.

Yeah, that's fair cool, I'm thirsty.

She was so thirsty and she kept asking for more.

I'm like god, because she really acts like a chance sometimes she does.

I had a lemonade and a lime one.

Then she came back with I want the next one. I get a lime made.

Anyway, But even when we record the show from my house, sometimes she's like, can we get I'm like, you fucked. You're a grown woman. You've got You've got the ability.

To do that if you live alone.

Also coming up on Wednesday, apart from our roving report, which I don't think you're going to be offended by, don't threat sure? Will it block? Oh my god, I'm hoping this is the third and final part.

Can I tell you that? Will it blog? I'm sorry it's already annual, Like you guys have to approve the annuality of it. But I have done so well. Okay, these blocks are incredible. I have not tasted them yet.

The whole aim is to turn something that does not exist in the form of a chocolate block, yes, to a chocolate block.

Yes. So I have created four blocks, three chocolate bars, one on it's biscuit. They were have been blockified and we do the taste test on the shirt.

Nice.

I'm excited.

You've come in with a lot more confidence than you did last week, so I've got a good feeling about.

Okay, it's going to be good. I know it's gonna be good, fabulous. Okay, should we jump into my gym?

Yep? Sure, hit it, Thick?

Is it just me? Have you ever shown your full ass, cheek and balls to a coworker before?

No, I don't have any coworkers or just you, Dylan.

Oh my god, I had the most mortifying experience at work. What here at kiss FM. Jenner has actually around the corner when this happened. So this was a work right I for context, you know, we've Mitch and I've just been through a weight loss journey. So I bought all these new clothes. I bought these new pants and I'm wearing today actually, and they're big, baggy like denim pants. They're oversized and baggy, right, So I kind of wear them high waisted with a belt and I'm in my

Big sins everyone. Yeah.

Correct. So I walk in and at the urinal is the COO. He organizes everyone's money, knows how much we're paid, how much the podcast makes, He controls the money that comes in and out of Kiss and Arnt. It's a big dog yet yeah, and I know him is lovely. So he walks in and you know, when you're at the urinal and there's one, there's three, one on the left, one free in the middle, and there's one free on the right. So I go, I'm not going to go

Get you one with you far left? Okay, that's fine. Be weird if you pulled it up right next to him.

Exactly right, it's what a bit of respect but to chorum. So I walk in and I go to the right one, and he goes match, how are you, buddy? Like a really good, really good? How are you? Is that good? Excited for the new building? Move me too. I'm undoing my belt. As undo my belt and unbuttoned my pants. Pull down my zipper normally for people with peanut says, you just pull it out and you can urinate. Right, you can go through the zipper. The pants are so

He added weight of the phone.

He had a weight to the phone, dropped the ground.

Did you just do it to get in front of me? Yeah?

Nice?

Oh sorry, I probably didn't need Jenna, do you want to look look at me? Mitchell? I'm like a toddler in a west fell Oh no, did you take a photo?

Jenna look at him.

And he looked at me and went, oh and sorry, sorry the weight of the phone. And he finished and walked up and had to waddle around me. To make matters worse. I put my head down to get my pants like this, and then the toilet flushes so it looks like the automatic sensor when it looked like the water like splashed up into my phone. Yeah, I was like, I'm so sorry. You're excited for the new move to the new studios. He went, yeah, it looks left and I put my pants up.

This is why I just don't fuck with the yurineults. I've always found them just a bit barbaric.

Oh you're a cubicle boy, you're also a sit down to pea boy. Yeah, that's bizarre to me. Name one benefit.

What's a bit of time out, that's it. It's a bit of me time.

I don't need that. I like the standing up because I'm frenetic and rushed. I don't have to the.

Fucking COO whatever it was. Was it the COOOO, the UFO of the company.

Yes, of course, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

I would never use a urinyl in general, but especially if I saw another person already there, or someone who's like quite high in the business. There's just no way I would flop my dig out next to them.

That.

It's just so off to me.

I know, drop your pants.

It's not then like this happens.

I know, but you know the exact mental image if you're listening at home and you want to know. It's like when you walk into a Westfield urinal and there's a baby boy with his dad at the urinal and his pants are at his ankles.

And why do they do that? Often in the cubicle but with the door open us the urinel half the time because unless it's one of those troughs that runs along the floor, yeah, they probably can't reach the bloody urinal. It's one of those ones that looks like a So they just do it in a normal toilet, but they leave the door wide open and the dad's they're commentating, what are you doing?

Yeah? The other day I went to a baby change room because the men's bike No, because the men's broom out of order. That's fair game.

Where were you?

There's a new shopping center in my my local area. They're not even open yet. The only open bathroom is a baby chage room in the whole center. So if you need to piss, you got to go there. So I like press the button on the door like it's always a magic door. And then I go to use the all access toilet and there's an adult toilet, but right next to it there's a baby toilet. What it's like it's like this big. It's it's half the size of a normal toilet tea. It's potty for a little

Not tell me you used the potty, pissed in the.

Potty, and I stood over it and put my penis directly down.

They would have made the aim a bit harder.

It was very hard. I've got great aim, got no problem with the name. You know, I just have to take your word for it. Yeah, you will, I actually let me stand back.

No, No, I'll take a photo.

We'll put on the.

So.

Yeah, you know, I do like the urinals that have the flies. Have you seen those ones? They've got flies or little love hearts on the actual porcelain flies, like they've painted on a little fly like a bug.

Oh.

Something to aim at.

Yeah, because men are just disgusting. Straight man, a gay man would never we have to cauum, but straight men often will just piss everywhere, and it goes all over the carpets and the floor. So if there's something to aim at, studies have shown that men will aim at that and all go in the bowl.

The men just not have the common sense to not piss everywhere.

It is kind of fun that wrap around you know how fly who did you stand up to pe or sit? Could even get it out?

Could you? I mean, I'm sure it's possible for a woman to see.

I've tried numerous times that it just doesn't work.

It doesn't come out a straight line, does it.

It's got to do with how you sort of hold it yourself.

Is that true?

No, I've tried.

Can you control the stream at all like a sprinkler system? You can?

Yeah?

What pressure or direction?

Pressure?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Why don't you take the portable mic into the toilet right now?

We've got a new Bluetooth plays if.

We'd ever make you do that from the new building?

Oh my gosh, should we talk, Chris? Should we talk about the announcement we all got Well, Jenna and I still work at a RN Mitch, you don't, but Jenna and I got an attention all staff. You get these when someone in the building has been killed or there's a tsunami approaching, and we all got one. All stuff Asterix, asterix, asterix trigger warning. A coffin will be in reception for use on a radio program. It will be there momentarily then moved. Please if this will upset you. Do not

We we've done that before.

And left at me, put Jenna in it, made the whole studio watch, and then we left it for a fortnight.

In a WSFM audio producers.

Student, one of Jenna's coworkers came in the next walking and there was an open casket sitting there.

I think it was episode fifty three. If anyone wants to go back and listen to Jenna in a coffin for an entire episode of this podcast. We didn't think for a second that we needed to issue with trigger morning, and I was quite surprised at everyone's reaction to the coffin thing. Yes, everyone was like, that's so creepy. I can't believe you did that. I was like, it's just a bit of wood.

I don't get it life.

Actually not.

We're desensitized to it or aren't we?

Yeah, what's wrong with us?

I had to go to a morgue to pick it up. Caring funerals in five Bright family Business. Oh my god's bit cold in here? Ye air conscient, Yeah, it's all all the fridges we've got.

Yeah. Oh, anyway, I don't get your dick out in front of colleagues anymore. Players.

If you can, I won't. He was impressed, so he guess.

I'm not convinced you're gonna be able to quit cold turkey.

Getting my dick out in front of people.

Yeah, you're gonna have to wean yourself off it.

No, No, I wouldn't say wean man. No, I don't like getting my penis out. In fact, I'm shy see that.

I can't understand why you'd use a urinal at all, then, because I would.

Never I'm a growler, not a shower, for sure.

When did I ask Jesus people look over absolutely? Really yeah?

Absolutely? Yeah.

Yeah. But you know, straight people like that guy at Wharf Bar will be like, oh, they're going to try and look at my dick if they go, oh god, I'm perpetuating that I make such a point of walking into a public bathroom even though I'm not using the troth and like darting my head the other way.

Yeah.

No, wonder I've got a balding disc now because I've just spent so much time trying to appease straight men but being like I'm not looking.

Yeah, it's true.

And now that's walk into the fucking door.

Had a gay up. Some people do, look, I'd never look. I'm very obviously, how are you? That's how I am? Like this bar? Do you want the popcorn trimp? It'd be a bit much.

But no. One's cock is at its best when it's urinate.

Absolutely not on that. Yeah, you've always said that too.

Yeah, you could count so many times I've said it. Yeah, it's hard to stop me.

No had I Yeah, No, my penis is not its best yearine, No, one's good and standing up to Like I've said, my circulation is not the strongest. I need to be at a full horizontal rest to get a full worthy erection. Really no, not really, I'm embellishing.

Whouldn't it be weird to see somebody have an erection while peeing?

It's very hard, actually did it this morning. It's impossible. You have to piss into a sink.

No, you don't know.

You do.

You can't put in a toilet.

No, you're just sort of like, wait, you know, no, well there is that, yes, but if you've got to go, you gotta go.

Yeah, especially when you're hard, sometimes it makes it The pressure there makes you need to go.

You just have to do a bit of a what do they call this in yoga? A hinge at the hip?

Yeah yeah, oh yeah.

Yeah, like a bow, like a spanning up right. It's sort of an obtuse angle.

Yeah, nice?

Yeah, all right?

Shall we go on that note?

No, we're still going to do an Is it just you?

Oh my god? We do Jesus christy are you? I are going to reganize that? Don't know? Yeah?

You do.

Go to my phone every is it?

It's me? Monday? Kill some time we get whenever it gets on with it? Is it?

It's me?

If there it's correct, I'll kill time for it. It's all good. If you do have one that you'd like to share, we'd absolutely love to hear it at a couple of miches. Is our Instagram handle? Or send us a text on this number.

Oh for two till nine four age two zero two nine, Yes you can. You can text that number where you can dms of course.

Mitch.

Today we're going to bris Vegas. Baby. We've got the beautiful Ruby joining us. Hello Ruby, It's Mitch, Mitch and Jenna.

Hello, How are you pretty good? What have we interrupted you doing?

I was just making myself an egg, but then I turned the stove off immediately I got the call, So.

You know it's one time's egg.

There's one egg.

Yeah, protein.

I mean, we don't want to keep you from your lunch. If you want to keep whisking away, go for it.

Did you mean go for it? Is in them? I'll go for it.

I mean like keep cooking. Yeah, there's no need to turn this over off.

Oh, let's off to worry about it.

What kind of egg were you going to do?

Oh? I was doing an egg and I just like chuck some mushrooms on it with the full vision. I was going to get a muffin or a bagel. Put some abbot, put some hummers, put the egg on.

That is, maybe just focus on this spiderproate.

We'll get.

Let's jump into it. Then you can get cooking ruby, all right?

Is it just me?

A hotel kettle is always too fucking hot?

I don't think I've noticed that.

I am with you.

I feel like every time you go to a hotel and you want to, like, you know, use the free team instant coffee, chuck on the kettle and it's bloody hotter than the hand on the metal. Kettle. I think that's it. I've actually done some research. I think it is the metal kettle that just makes it too hot.

There's always that silver metal with a black handle and that red alert white on the bottom.

Art mates, and also usually the coffee cups they give you in hotels a fucking time, and so if you've got the boiling hot drink, it's not even room for milk to cool it down.

No, there's a nightmare. And it's then that one fucking Norco milk in the fridge, always the Norca. And then also I would say I like them espresso pods in some fancy hotels, but then they only give you one pot. This isn't going to touch the sides, you know. I think my theory on that is everything in the hotels are so new, and you know, you have a kettle in your house, you use it what two three times a day, But in hotels there'd be people that don't

I always just like clean it out, run a boiling water, tip it out before I even pour it. Yeah, Oh god, knows what else that's been.

I never use it.

Have you seen those tiktoks of people cooking things in hotel bathrooms?

Yeah, like hot dogs in the kettle, and shit, they cook hot dogs in the kettle, or they go to the toilet, they take off the lead from the back of the toilet where the water system is, and they boil that water like from the kettle, pour it in.

Then they souv sake in there.

Oh, that's just wrong. It's that pool water.

It's it's just hard water. Ruby. How often a you in hotels? How is this really a big deal for you?

No, I'm Ballion hotels. Yeah no, but whenever I am. It's just never seen dropdated.

I don't want a victim blame here. But you're not actually supposed to just touch the metal bit of the kettle. There's a handle for a reason, my luff.

You pick it up with that, true. Yeah, nothing worse when you flick it and then you come back like an hour later and you give it a little touch like you're still warm. Still, Oh, you to check it it's still warm hours later?

Yeah, Yeah, I'm with you.

We've got one of those dumb smart kettles that has like keep warm for fifteen minutes, but I thought it had like an element underneath it would keep it at perpetual level of warmth. No, you boil it. Then you press keep warm, and it just gives it that lat It reboils it every minute.

Oh that'd be annoying. Yea.

So it keeps going warm.

Every minute for fifteen minutes, and then by the time you come back in fifteen minutes, it's fucking evaporated out and then you turn.

The bottom of it and you get it lead poisoning, and then I'm dead. Thanks for that Ruby, really insightful.

Yeah, make sure you hit up price keep it downer on our Instagram. Give you a little bride for coming on the podcast.

Thanks Legend.

Now make it yeah, enjoy, Yeah, and make sure you know do you like our new artwork.

I haven't seen it yet, but I saw the little timer thinging on it.

Yeah, that makes sense. It doesn't happen live.

Sorry, it'll come out as this episode comes out.

As you're listening to yourself listening to this, just know you'll like it.

Yeah, but did it block?

Oh well, we're going to confirm that on Wednesday.

That's that's in a couple of days. Got okay, good, Thanks, we love you, Thanks for listening.

I like it.

She definitely shouldn't be touching that kettle. It's like someone calling and being like, is it just me or does it hurt when you get run over by a car? I think that's a new problem. You did that.

Just anything with the metal on the side of the kettles not exclusive to hotels.

No, no, no, I'm with it.

You know, fucked me off. When I was in Melbourne for Taylor Swift, it was tricky to get accommodation. I ended up saying in a place that was less than glamorous.

Yeah, it was.

Like Brunswick Tower Hotel.

Oh god it was.

It was fine. We were just there to sleep. We were out and about all day. It was fine. And I can forgive certain things like the lack of toilet paper and you know, the unfinished painted walls and the uncomfy beds, what have you. But the thing I couldn't fucking forgive was when I turned up, you know, the free tray of tea bags and whatever. Yeah, like every hotel there were no big kis.

Oh that's big.

I was craving the hotel, fucking Biggie's the whole way from the airport.

The units are sorted, get the two pack. It's normally like an Anzac bikie and then it's something else maybe Yep.

I nearly bought a bikie on the flight because I remembered my physical card for the snack cart and I was like, no, no, I'll just eat the hotel bikies. Fucking dogs screwed me for the biggie, pissed me off to Yep. I was like, well, no, wonder, you're only three stars.

That's right, Okay, we should go home. Guys. Yeah, thanks for listening to the show. We will see you in a couple of days or will it block?

Wow exciting?

I mean, Cabri have called and they want the recipe, and I said, you fuck yourself. You tell Fredo that he and his bitch wife Caramella Koala.

Because Karamella they have sex.

They're not getting my recipes.

Just don't hype it up too much because I want where the judges really true. You thought that that fucking abortion of a meal last week the snickers was good.

I had so many bitches in my DMS complaining. Yeah, but they're like you fool. Have you never tempered chocolate? I'm like, no, I'm sorry. I've got a and a life, so no, I haven't tempered chocolate like you fool your microwaven thirty second one second intervals and you cool it with skimm dairy milk.

Shut up. Okay, well maybe you took notes. You'll find out on Wednesday.

I did, I did. I had a Bay Marie and it was perfect.

So you'll find out a couple of days then.

And you could see a guy by fact?

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of minches.

Make sure you've got to follow on your podcast.

At Welcome to a to D brief our secret segment On the end, I thought that I bloody kicked this flu. But I'm just gonna I could feel my throat going on me again. I'm gonna have to have a bit of water.

I also noticed your voice get deeper a couple octaves.

Did you really?

Yeah, like we were talking about the hotel in Brunswick. You just you dropped a couple octaves and.

Always see him, get him. I don't want to strain my voice.

No, I'm drinking a Kim Butcher and I tell you I'm on the Kombucher train.

That's so good, Butcher, No way, that's good.

These ones are good, the remedy ones.

Yeah, Butcher, kem, Butcher can get in the bin with your cults, which you're called it delicious?

I love, I love you make me want a gas.

I love any sort of dairy drink. I love it. I love cream of rice pudding.

Yeah, but you called his yark?

Did you say you like cream? Do you consider that a dairy drink? What do you just fucking sick of straw? In a jarrific like I No? I enjoy like dairy beverage. I like an eggnog. Cream was not a good example. You know what fucks condensed milk?

Oh?

God, yes, have you.

Seen the condensed milk and red wine trick? They did it on Tucker on the Jonesy and Amanda Breakfast shame. Oh how much do I are the swear jar Jesus Christ. It's a pain in the ass.

To be fair, I don't think I actually said that. You can't say Jonesy Amanda. I said I'm gonna to put a swear jarker. Every week Jenner brings up Jones and Amanda every twice a week in.

Fact, so you've just said it, but we don't have to pay.

It's yeah, maybe we'll just talk about nothing but Jones and Amanda.

Jones.

Any commentary?

Do you like working on Jones? Amanda?

Yeah?

What's the best breakfast show in Australia in your opinion? Jenna? And I'm going to send this to Amanda Kel I'm.

The one on w FAM.

What is it called?

I can't say the name.

It's a dollar. Surely you can spare a dollar.

It's called jonesy and Amanda.

Just one dollar, get transferred.

Sorry. I want to go back to the red wine and commence milk. What does it do?

Oh? I don't know. You spoke about it, Jenna. It's an Italian thing, isn't it.

No, well, apparently people on TikTok have been saying it's Italian, but it's really note where you put a dollop of condensed milk into a glass of red wine, stir it and go from them.

Could I do the same with rose, because fuck red wine.

I'm sure you could.

You probably could, but I think this one calls for just red wine.

There was a particular like cookie recipe that I used to make as a kid, when I was in my baking era, and it involved a whole can of condensed milk. But I usually only fucking put three quarts of a condensed milk because I've ate it, but spoonful as soon as that can was open. Oh, this has brought back a horrible memory. What you know, how I've got a cut finger at the moment. Yeah, you know, like certain tins, maybe tuna or like a tin of pizzas or whatever.

It was it bad?

I mean I literally just had a visceral, fucking whole body reaction when I remembered it. I'm a bit sensitive about finger cuts at the moment.

I just felt that in my gute right, Oh, cutting is poor little fat fucking Mitchell just wanted a bit of condensed milk, and look what happened. Wouldn't have cut the sides, though, you would have had a bit of padding.

With my fat fingers.

Yeah, it's a Chilean delicacy. If anyone's interested. Chilean delicacy the red whine and condensed milk.

Can you google rose if that's an option.

Yeah, yeah, I'll do condensed milk, and.

Surely you can just adapt it to whatever wine you want.

Oh, it's actually yes. Ban Dung Sirap Bandung is an Indonesian delicacy most popular in maritime Southeast Asia, Indonesia and Singapore. Evaporated.

Well, I'm going to Balley and Jean perfect.

Rose and you put rose with condensed belt god candext milk and anything's delicious.

So we figured out when is our last day in this studio or not? Still a few more weeks?

Well, so as the time of recording, this is my last radio show in this building, Okay, I think, Jenna. So the Kiss team goes first because it's got Kyle and JACKIEO and the Kiss shows and the priority, so they go first. And then is it three weeks later, Jenny, you move with WSFM.

We move first week of April, so we're homeless for three weeks.

I don't know how it's gonna work.

We can still come down, we can use this studio.

No one's in this studio.

So they were demolishing it.

That's a good point. We don't know.

Well, there is also the podcast studio.

Yeah, but then oh my god, I got I got new picks of the podcast studio.

Guys.

I think if we want, we can build a set.

Yeah, you mentioned that last week, but like, what do you mean we said that we're gonna have to pay for it, but then where are we storing?

Well no, So what happens is there's iHeart Podcasts. The whole this whole building is like Aarn's now the biggest media company in Australia. Whatever this is like. Then they're showing it off and they are it's beautiful. So there's two podcast Studios's basically what we use now. If you watch our socials, it's the same as this, but a bit specier. Then there's a studio, which is like just a television studio I see in Hollywood, right, and it's

And we have to supply the giant yellow cat.

Yeah, we'd have to buy what we want and then they'd all bring it in when we record and bring it out when we record.

I feel like if we turned up with a fucking trailer and a giant yellow couch and said, right, this is our set, they'd be like, yeah, we didn't agree to this.

No they would. I mean, we're one of the longest serving podcasts on our heart forgot.

That is true. Where are they storeing it?

Oh, there's a full storage cabinet.

Okay, cabinet for a count.

I'm so pissed off. They raided the street team area downstairs and let everyone take what they wanted here. Yes, everyone took what they want to Nat, who works at your archit Nemesis, got a Google home pod and the JBL speaker.

So I did get a pair of Phil Collins signed jeans.

What Yeahen's the singer?

Yea.

He took his pants off, signed them and left them here. Is that what you're suggested?

And they're in a frame?

Yeah?

All those frames up for grabs downstairs. I might take one. Yeah, No, I'm going away this weekend. I'm so excited.

Where are you going back to bergen Gate sixtieth.

That'll be nice.

She's not having an official sixtieth, but I was like, I'll still go down.

Something deserves to be celebrated. You and Sean.

No, Sean can't make it this time, but we're going back for Easter in a couple of weeks. Yeah. You guess what she wanted for a fucking birthday?

What it's a six years she should deserve something great.

The Samsling equivalent of an Apple Watch. Oh no, Google, And I'm like, oh my god, that is going to be hysterical to watch her try and use that.

Does she buy it for her?

Yeah? And I think because you know how mums sometimes they'll hear their mobile phone ringing and they just don't clock that it's theirs, and then you'll be like, mom, that's your phone and they were like, oh is it? Yeah, fatting around in the handbag, and then by the time they find it, it's wrung out. I reckon, she's going.

To have the same somebody else's and it's a completely tone and they're like, oh my my phone.

Yeah, true, I reckon. This smart orch is not gonna help because she'll go, oh, it's ringing. How do I answer it. I don't know what to press, it'll ring.

Yeah. Of course my mum does not hang up. And this is not like a joke. She just doesn't think that's something you have to do. So I will call home. She'll go bye see see see bye. Sean does the same thing.

I've got your.

Flybys here, thank you, how's your day? And they will not hang up because she has a one of those wallet cases, right, So she just flaps a class and she thinks that is done.

That really should be enough, you'd think. You think she puts some sensor in there for the mumsy, so they know when you close the wallet, that's the call done.

You know, like the iPad cases. Don't they do that?

I'm not sure.

Yeah, maybe you know what I did the other day. You know, when you've got an eye message open like ready to tie, and you've got the curse of there the keyboards up, you're about to tie. If you put the phones your ear, it will automatically start recording a voice message.

Oh that's cool.

And so I was texting someone voice to text or no, an actual voice message. I was texting someone and then put the phone down on my lap, proceeded to bitch about them for five minutes and then I picked it up and it recorded the whole thing. Thank god, I pressed X, it didn't send. It was just like what I'm recording done. I was like, there's a five minute record.

Imagine that would end that friendship?

Well, to be fair, it wasn't mostly me, it was the friends.

I was with. Started to other people.

Yeah, and I can't remember how much I had to say and if it would have been bad for me. But I'm like, I cannot send that.

That would end. I send a nude to the family group chat on Snapchat, but you can delete snaps these days, so like in two seconds, I deleted it.

Why does your family have a group Snapchat? That's how we all communicate through Snapchat, grown adults.

Actually, it's got family, friends, uncles, aunties, everyone, cousins.

Interesting, I don't even use Snapchat.

I wonder if I've still got my Snapchat account logged in? Where is my phone? Let me check, I can search you hold on, where is my fucking phone? Oh? There it is. Don't stress everyone.

I'm not worried.

I was petrified.

Thank you, Jenna. Oh sure I am still logged in? Send me a dude, am I still on the map?

Oh?

I've turned mine off?

You know what?

I reckon that in the time that I've known you, I'd already stopped using Snapchat. It's possible that we never actually got around to becoming snapchat sa. I don't think we are.

I don't think I am with you.

Do you want to join? Not?

Really?

Do you want to snap me? Jenna?

Well, another platform for you to ignore me on.

That's not true.

In fact, be actually snapchat.

Jenna and I will only talk about how bad you've become with your replies. You used to be so on it and you take days to reply. Now you've slipped. You're just shocking with replies.

Oh, how does that medicine of yours taste?

I'm just saying it's it's general and I both what do you mean?

What do I do? Just trying to all to have you both notice? Or is he just putting words in your mouth?

Yet we've noticed?

It doesn't look like she know why?

You're the worst communicator. You host a podcast, you work at a radio show. It sounds like you've got a gun to your head.

Yeah, it's not good.

She's just trying to go along with your version. But no, what do you mean? What do I do?

No, you just take so long to reply these days. Lock in a time and date for the podcast. It's very hard you reply the day of No.

Because I read that message that you sent yesterday saying can we start a bit early, yeah, at twelve? I read that as like an FYI. I didn't think I needed to reply because I was like, yeah, I'll be there at twelve because I've been the one going can we record earlier so I can beat peak ole traffic? As if I would.

Say no to recording at twelve, I know, I know.

No.

I thought of read that as an FYI, let's start at twelve, and I was like, Roger, no, No. I didn't know I needed to be like confirmed, No, it's.

All right, but you know we will it will be counting. Sure, we'll start a tally. That was Jona's idea, wasn't.

It je It was my idea for the tally.

See now you have to play along. It's really not a problem. Although I have an Apple Watch, I've turned off allmen I think I've said on this on the show. I have all notifications turned off on my Apple Watch. So what's the point of it? It tells the time to grass throats, watch stuff. Now, it tracks my fitness and I can do timers and it's got serious. So I send a lot of text with my Apple Watch. Apple watches like an old school You just put it up to your mouth and speak and then it starts to

I don't think I would like that because if I accidentally got something wrong, I wanted to edit the text.

Yeah, true, let me try, ready, Sandy Mitchell Kumb's a text message saying hello, how are you?

But then when if you went actually don't send it. Yeah, I actually want to say this.

Yeah, so it's working. It's got a time a look, you've got ten Oh, I see, and then it sends it.

I use it for that, And in the time it took you to do that, you could have just picked up your phone and sent the text. I just don't get the I never have my watch.

Yeah, did you just get one? No?

I got it a few years ago.

Jenna tracks everything to the point where it's embarrassing. I get a notification that goes Jenna Benson finished to work out like good, She's probably done pilartes indoors for three minutes.

Why bother peloton?

Do you reckon the step counter?

What is it called a preedometeran?

Yeah, that thing? Do you reckon? That's more accurate on the watch versus the phone. Yeah, because it's so funny. Sean gets so pissed off. We can spend all day together, go to the exact same places. We'll check our step count at the end of the day. Mine will say fifteen thousand, his will say six thousand, And he's like, how.

Could that be?

Yeah, I guess I go to the bathroom more often than you. Maybe the walk to the.

He's taller, though, he's got a longer shride. That is a thing because the steps.

I'm not like drastically short of taking all these tiny steps, am I You're not?

No?

Maybe I'm just a bit more erratic in my phone whenever it gets shaken.

Yeah, maybe he's just shaking in a little so it's like he's walking all lot.

Oh my god, do you know what it is? Sometimes when I'm sitting and I'm feeling fidgety, I do this with the leg. Oh, I shake the leg like this. It probably thinks they're steps.

It thinks you're running.

The watch is going to start congratulating you well done on that run four k indoor run.

I'm that annoying person that kind of like jiggles the leg.

That actually would be it, because.

That's like I've only just clocked it. That's so funny.

You know what, I've had it. I've got my steps on my front screen, so I don't have to go anyway.

Oh god.

But the problem is the app's called Predometer Plus, so when you then download it, you can add a widget to your front screen, but in the options it is just pedo. I don't want that on my blip.

All right?

Shall we go on that note?

Maybe?

Probably should?

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today, that's all?

So, so we do we look at that image? Isn't it hot? We look so good? Well done? All so we'll a block in a couple of days.

Yes, I'm so excited and praying into your personal life. Thea Can't Wait byye Is It Just Me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

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