#179: Grinch Jizz

Just stood by a couple of mitches.

You delese yourself for the rude shocks of young adults. No one says the word turn as an adult. Kids would be like, can I return? You don't say that she as an adult? Can I have a turn in your car?

And Mitchell coos illo?

You are you illow you Mitchell's house again? You sound really excited about that. I am.

It's because I just feel like your real friend when I'm here.

Well, you're welcome in any time.

No, I know, But when we do it in the studio, the podcast. In the studio, it feels like we're working that. You make a cuppa, I have a soda stream. I'm pissing your toilet, got any feed up? Feeder up on different cushions. Isabella just did a ship.

I know.

I'm sorry about that. Although I can't smell. Think it might have been a number one.

Does she scratch like that for a number one? Yeah?

She buries it in the KIDDI bitter. They're very polite like that.

Oh, I could not live with a cat.

I really want.

I could not live two things I don't want in my life.

Cat off, pussy. How do you go getting apart today by the way, ah, because it's a bit of a nightmare parking in my apartment building.

Well, to be honest, I had a really sweet lady who I didn't have my ID on me, didn't realize I was going to be drinking alcohol here, and she said, you have to go back to your car and get your ID because how yours works. You got to park in the five minute visitor walk in, get a parking permit, then they open the boom gates like you're entering Universal Studio.

It's a bit of a nightmare. And I had a Karen moment at them recently. A receptionists by I'm building because, as you said, if you're saying here for like twenty four hours or less, like overnight or just popping in for the afternoon, you have to sign in and get a pass. Ye. But if someone's saying more than twenty four hours, like Sean saying for the weekend, I have to send an email in advance asking for a short term path or whatever.

Do you, with all due respect, what the fuck is this place? I know, like it's it's a you pay rent, Olivia, you're paying to live here. You shouldn't have I.

Know price keeper Jennis here. Of course do you have this shit in? You have Service Meriton suite.

I don't live in Service Meritans, she moved from.

But you did retain Jeeves in this economy. That was very nice of you. He lives in as a butler.

Now anyway, my parent moment.

Yeah, yeah, It's always been the way that I have to send an email if I want Sean to stay for a few days, and I just copy and paste the same email from my fine notes.

It's easy. And then one.

Week they clapped back and said, oh, sorry, Mitchell, you haven't given us at least forty eight hours notice and will approve it this time, but next time, if you don't give us forty eight hours notice, Sean will have to park on the street.

Sean will be forced to be destitute and homeless.

So I just cracked it because they've been painful for a long time.

Like Sean, we'll get phone.

Calls from the security guards that work here over the weekend and they're just usive for no reason.

They'll call him be like, mate, what are you still doing now? When do we get in that pass back?

Really?

I give him such a hard time, and so I just cracked it because they're trying to make it too hard for him to come visit me.

Oh that would be so good to watch. Was it face to face?

Yeah?

I went down there in that little office that we all okay, and who did you see? What did you say?

I waltzed down there and I said, we need to have a chat about the parking situation. It's not been a rule that I need to give forty eight hours notice for him to come and arrive the whole time I've been here, It's been a year, and why is this rule coming in now? And they were like, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, And they said, so do you ensure just not plan your weekend until last minute? And I was like, not every time, but it would be nice to have the fucking.

Option and none of your fucking business how we plan it.

Exactly, that's what I said.

I said, I'm not just going to remove any spontaneity from my fucking relationship just for the sake of your admin.

Also, late notice isn't anything before forty eight hours?

Yeah, exactly, that's true.

I should have the option to say to my boyfriend, or do you want to come over tonight?

Yes?

I should be able to do that or anyone.

And so I had a crack at a I said, so, no, I won't be giving you forty eight hours notice, and she goes, oh, the thing is that sometimes the car pucks feel up really quick, so if you get into later, I might have one free for you. And I was like, if that happens, I'll wear it, darling. If that happens, that's fair. But here's how it's gonna work.

Oh my god, Oh, I.

Don't care if I email you at four point fifty nine on a Friday, you're about to shut the office. If I give you that late notice and there's a spot free, you're gonna give it to him.

That's how it's gonna work.

And also, under no fucking circumstance other security guards to call him ever again, ever and then and then she says, oh, well, can you at least give us an ETA of when he's going to arrive And I said, no, that's none of your business. You're going to allocate him a spot and he has the freedom to pick up the paths when everyone's wow, do we have a fucking understanding?

And so it was good we thought of you.

That is so card have you seen that lady on TikTok that does she pretends to be a character and she goes through. That's exactly who you sound like.

Well, sometimes the Karen moment is necessary.

No, I completely agree, justify that, like the security guards in this building must be so bored because nothing happens.

They must be that bored. I've got a phone call the other day being like, Oh, you just parked a little bit.

Close to the person next to you, so it might be hard for them to get in and out of their car. Could you just next time try and park a little bit further? And I was like, fuck, If that's the.

Biggest issue of their tape, that's the only thing they have to do. They must be so bored.

My worry is, though, Mitchell, that it's targeted to you. Now. Now they say bad things come in threes. You've already had the gay manly bashing attempted, You've already had the drink spiking incident, and the glass the glass is going missing. My fear and deep worry for you as a dear friend is that this is your third piece of hate. Chrome are they targeting you?

I very nearly played that card.

Should was going to Is it because we're gay?

Is that it? I bet you let all the fucking straight couples stay and have a car park.

No, do you call John and Nancy in room twelve B and give them the same shit.

It crossed my mind, but I didn't go there.

I don't think no, I don't think it is targeting because they give me a hard time too, even today. I had to walk back to my car, get my ID, come back and then.

Where the fuck did they need it? Idea?

But she didn't take anything from it. She looked at it and went, thank you, Mitchell, And she said what's your name? I said Mitchell? She said who are you visiting? I said Mitchell. She said no, what's your name? I said, we have the same name. Just relaxed, write them down and move on.

Couple of Mitchell's baby said.

You know the problem though, someone I walked out and some old woman was limping by, and she goes hull, I.

Go true, and she goes hello young.

She actually seemed nice, And the sense of community here does seem like it skewed more towards the appreciation of the older.

Yeah, Like I said, I'm living the dream I've always wanted to live in a retirement village, and now I'm doing it basically, and now you're here.

To remember when we called her retirement village to get quotes.

Yeah, we wanted to find out the minimum age. And I have to be fucking fifty five. Yeah, I thought, Oh, I can't wait. My grandparents for some like they're losing the plot and they are so offended every time anyone suggests the idea of living in a retirement home or nursing home or something where they can be cared for.

They're living on the farm, and I keep saying to Mom, I would just do it in a half because it sounds like a dream.

Maybe not a nursing home. That's a bit different to a retirement village.

Now, you don't want to live in a nursing home. My nan, who's a ninety three, is in a nursing home. And it's so funny. So my nan sold her house. This happened today. Funny you bring it up. Sold her big house because she she has dementia and we had to get her into a care facility and the dementia's gotten worse because she sold her house. So they put that money and bought her like the biggest apartment in the retirement home. However, everyone in the retirement home wants it.

Oh my god, so it now, she's.

In it now. It's got a balcony, it's got two bedrooms, it's got a guest room. It is the biggest and the best in that whole retirement village.

So she owns that.

You bought it. You aren't you buy it. My thing is they're all waiting for her to die because everyone wants it.

But if you, I hope someone in your family inherits it because I fucking want that place.

Can someone over fifty five live there? Just hold it until I'm fifty?

It's so Actually, the aged care system in this country needs to be needs reworking, because when Nen passes away that they have they own the property and then the money goes to them. They take it and when yep, and when n dies, that money gets sent back to mum and dad and the family, and they don't make any money on it, but they just get the exact same amount back and the room gets given to someone else. It's like a holding fee. It's a whole It's fucked. It's unethical.

Yeah, I don't understand that makes sense.

Mum and Dad go there and they go Hi, Michelle and Mark, just letting you know that there's been three more names added to clinic room. Yeah, they're fully aware because the nature of a retirement village is that you know you're not going to move on after it. That's sort of that's sort of.

The end of your retiring at the end of the game.

So they know that she will pass away there and people are waiting it so grim. So Nana's like, oh, I've made lots of friends this week, might and then they want for your fucking room. And they all give her chocolates and roses because then could give the room, or it's because she has it, she can choose who comes next. So really, yeah, she's like the queen of the fucking prison. What is it called top dog?

She's top dog. I love that.

The poor thing's riddled with dementia and is forgetful. She forgets who she's learned it to. So Mum and Dad to all these.

People have been promised, Yeah they have.

They're like, oh, just so you know, Claire promised us the room.

We're like, no, oh, that's them lying yeah, that's exactly right.

You know, it's fucking random. My parents farm, there's a second we call it the old house. It was like the original house that people lived on fucking ages.

It must be nice.

It's abandoned and it's the second house. No, no, no, it's not functional. It's got fucking dead sheep in there. Like it's it's old and abandoned, but it's got really really nice timber. Yeah, and occasionally Dad gets phone calls from absolute random's being like, good a CM, see your uncle Clem before we pass God rest his soul. He promised me I could, you know, rip down the house and use that timber And he's like, see you later.

Cock it.

I don't know why people want this timber in the old house.

And you know what, I love everyone always speaks as if they were best friends with the dead because the dad's not there to say no, I actually hated that pitch. Yeah that's for you know what. I've just had an idea. Yes, I'm going to create a list of people that I fucking have never promised anything to. Everyone wants.

I've got a lot of tech, I've got a lot of gadgets.

I'm going to be like, No, I did not promise Jenna my MacBook Pro because you know Mitch will be like, well, Mitch, promise me always audio equipment.

No, I didn't put it in your will. They certainly cannot.

People.

I did not promise anything to you can. Actually, Mitchell, on the record, have all my audio equipment?

Thank you? MacBook you know what.

Yes, it's new, it's m one soaked, it's all yours.

Damn it. I would have liked the MacBook.

Actually, you guys can, No, I have the mac Would you speak at my wedding?

My wedding?

Yeah, Now I'm further. I think I'm closer to my funeral that I would you. Would you speak at my funeral? Mitchell?

Oh?

If I was asked too, sure.

I've given numerous eulogy so I'm pretty good at them.

Yes.

Oh, but you mean like because you did and Boilin's and oh god sorry.

And then who else? Madam too sword, Yes, madam. Anyway, if it's the first time, listen, we're in Mitchell's house, that's the story. It was the first time was sitting.

We start every show with and is it just me something we've noticed we hate to appreciate Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch's.

I'm going to be preparing something a little special for my itchim itchim.

I thought he's an itch.

Well I'm a bitcham. Actually I'm covered in buzzy bites. Och Fuck me.

It's always just a little bit more chaotic when we're at home, isn't it.

I'm a wedding celebrant.

Oh go hitch.

Them's the witness to fucking hit and run snitch them?

Yeah, of course, No, you're so right about that one. My ex, my partner. I'm really not vibing them.

I'll ditch them anyway. I'm doing something a little special. Do you want to kick things off? Yeah, let's go, let's jump in.

Is it just me?

Did you also have a moment that made you think, you know what? It is?

Time to shake things up in my life? I guess so? Yes? Why what with your moment?

I'm I'm more specifically talking about weight loss, and I remember you know I've lost forty kilos. We've spoken about it on Yeah shut up. But I got a call this week and it reminded me the inciting incident that made me go I'm going to lose weight. I got a call from an MRI clinic and they called me because I have a brain condition Kiari malformation. I've got to get twelve monthly MRIs. And they call me and they go, Hi, Mitch, just checking that you know your

They hung up.

Why not I never told anyone this and because I was embarrassed, like genuinely embarrassed. But this is the first time I'm saying this. This was the moment that I thought to myself, I need to make some changes. I'm a bigger boy and it's affecting my life.

But wait, I'm not following. What's they got to do with the MRI. Why don't you need those anymore?

I know I need to get MRS.

Yeah, I still need my MRIs. But I canceled the Safari Room clinic because about twelve months ago, I was the biggest I ever was I was almost one hundred and sixty killers and I'm six foot three, big toll boy. Yeah, and my GP goes, we need to get you a monthly MRI. Twelve monthly MRI go and book it in.

Yeah.

So I call my local place and they go, hi, Mitch, can we just get all your details?

And they go, what's your weight?

I tell them my weight and they go Unfortunately, Mitch, the MRI machine caps out at one point thirty five.

Oh my god, you're over the weight limit.

But we'll connect you to this place that does it. I said, oh, no worry, that's fine, bit embarrassing, but I'll go to a bigger MRI machine.

That seems like a bit of a flaw in the system. Yeah.

The place they gave me to get an MRI is an animal hospital.

Oh no, are you serious?

Did they bring it up in one of those giant elevators they used for elephants in the circusts.

And fucking Volkswagen cars to get them into the showroom.

It was an animal hospital?

Was it?

Actually?

I swear to God and so was that the moment they were like, Jesus, I've got to do something about.

That was the moment that I thought, Christ on a bike. If I'm going to the same GP as a local fucking elephant, there is something wrong. And I went and had my m right in this in the Safari room, which is where they m a right Elephants Graphs R and Mitch fucking Chewy. I had to be rightly. An MRI machine is like a donut. This thing was like

But I said, that's you said, I no longer need you. I'm with you now. I follow it correct. But it was awful, Like I was in the waiting a normal one.

I can go to a normal one, Yes, I can, exactly me and I'm not. I am nowhere. I'm not laughing at anyone that needs the bigger one me.

I think that should be avail.

No, no, well, I completely agree. One hundred and thirty five isn't even to someone who's my height exactly like even now I'm one hundred and like ten and I's still a bigger way anyway, it is. It's one of the most embarrassing feelings. I mean, if you carry shame around your size, which I did. Maybe i'm speaking I'm

Had they already paid, Yeah, already paid, far already paid.

But then it's also then you're the person that's rubbing everyone of this experience.

Yeah, it's it's iggy.

So sad, really sad.

Didn't that happen at Harry Potter World and something as well, I wouldn't go on Haggard's Escape.

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. I don't think that that should be a thing. No like, but would you fucking roll the case through the whatever?

Better America as well? I'm not.

I wasn't that big a fan by American standards.

I'm a twig.

I couldn't get a Haggard's World. But the thing is it was on one of them, was the New and Improved Haggard's World, and it's it was on like a travelator. So you walk in, you stand on the travelator and you get in as it moves. You've got about forty five seconds to get in. So I'm standing there. This little elf comes up in character and he's like, welcome, Hagrid needs your help. Time to get in, Wizard, And I go, thank you so much, let me get in.

Goes, oh, Wizard, you had one too many butterbewes.

I was like, no, I actually I don't like that. We're getting to the end of the conveyor belt. He goes, but he didn't for me was rude, so I try to get any and then I can't go down. He goes, all right, mate, take a left and walk out this door an emergency exit, like drops his character.

What about Hagrid's massive. That's so true.

It's a literal giant, seem I fucking slim Dusty himself.

What the fuck that's so true. Hagrid's a literal giant.

Anyway, the best party is you're in like this gorgeous Hagrid's house, and then there's the emergency escape, which is like his bookcase, his book shelf, and you like open the door and then behind it it's just like a you know, it's just an emergency escape. So like the illusion was completely ruined. God, I was very sad anyway, and that was just the moment for me that I completely forgot about it. I blocked it out, I think.

That's amazing.

But I'll never forget the draft that I met in the waiting room. She was she was so nice, and I hope she's been fixed.

Because it's just me.

You can follow the show online just search a couple of miches if you don't, you're a dickhead.

Right. Coming up in our Wednesday episode is.

Episode Yes you have brought in your virtual reality goggles for me?

Yes? I have. Oh my god, I was wondering what.

You've got sanitizer because I actually think I can see some drid Come.

Yeah, you promised to show me VR gay porn.

Well, I promised to to show you VR porn. There are no promises that gay porn exist, because when I first.

Got the I thought you said you found some.

Actually, you're right, I was searching in ad debris if you're right, Yes, yeah, yeah, sorry, what's that I was searching? I never heard of You're right, I was searching at some point in time of freaking out.

That makes sense.

And also, I've got another ridiculous mission for raving report Oscar. There is beef in my neighborhood Facebook group. Oscar's going to do a deep exposee for us.

Can I just say before Oscar joins us that what I've taken from this today is that you need to move like you've got the terrible peace people at the front of the house.

You've got this drama that we honestly, they're not that terrible the people that deal with the visitor parking, because I don't have to deal with visitor parking.

I just have to deal with my guests bitching.

Yeah. True, although I've never had a problem.

I've been okay, Yeah, it's just a lot of fucking red take.

Well, you know what I just say. Moved back in with your parents?

Oh yeah, great. You want to send me off to boging at do you?

And also you tell your dad he promised me some hardwood floors from the side house before our uncle Jim passed. You promised me them.

Let your dad know.

Hey, by the way, do you remember last week I was talking about like embarrassing slash iconic drunk purchases. Oh, yes, you were, And we asked people to send in some examples of ridiculous shit they've bought.

When they've been drunk.

Oh do we get some good ones? Oh?

We did get some good ones. So Kelly said, I subscribed to Proactive. I've never had acne in my life.

I love that she was.

Just worried that it would happen. You know what, I want to have it in the kitchen drawer just in case.

One fact that Proactive comes to mind I know that's funny.

Okay, Proactive. I was a proactive kid. We've spoken about it.

So are you mean are you definitely?

If you have a bitch.

There's a photo out there when you were younger, a school photo, and you said that you used to use Proactive and it bleached your friend because.

You know, it bleached the funk out of everything you touched. Pactive Because I had a fringe and I would use it on my forehead.

It literally bleached my hair. I had this blonde fringe.

Oh you would look like Anna, that that lesbian chef that does all the desserts. She's got like pink hair, but a blond fringe.

Yeah, is what you said has been canceled. So at the moment, is okay?

Can I just say on the Proactive train, I can still smell step number one, the blue one to the big blue.

One, O, the green one. Liquid.

Yeah, that smell and you put it on the face pad and oh god, it just would shred my skins.

Also, Zomzom here is another example. Zomzom bought one of the those tambourines that you attached to a drum kit.

I don't even have a drunk.

That's great. That's so good. Did you see the one that was posted to our Facebook group and enduring idiots? Did you say, oh my god, yes, yeah it was Brett Brett Heavers, he said, following on from a drunk Purchaser segment. Mine would, hands down have to be my gladys bearer Jicli and cardboard cutout I forgot. I bought her until she arrived during the COVID era, and I still have her protecting my office.

Oh my god, it really is.

The fuck is selling cardboard cutouts of our former state premier.

Er No during COVID these would have been like you know when the royals come to town and the two dollar shops make cardboard cutouts of it.

Right.

I feel like that whoever is mass producing these would be like she's the woman of the moment because she did the daily press conferences.

Yeah, yeah, totally.

It's actually life size.

It's okay, that one wins. I think that winds It was Brett.

Yeah, that wins.

Ready, fuck, that's so funny. Love you.

You're well said, beautiful words. Are you ready for my Yes?

I'm ready born.

Speaking of drunk Oh, let's go.

Is it just me? Do you feel like a bevy, Yeah, I like an alcoholic one. Yes.

So remember we were talking a couple of weeks ago about the conundrum I made lime milkshakes on the podcast and they only had a minimum order of four leaders and I've still got the freaking syrup in my house, and we were saying we should make some sort of cocktail using the syrup. Yes, today's the day. What do you mean, Well, we're here, there's the syrup, I've got Bailey's. Should I just fucking chuck them together and see how it goes?

Wait?

Wait? Wait? Is this a Christmas they in cocktail?

Sure, it's great.

I think we said we were gonna because I also have the Blue Heaven milkshake syrup. Oh yeah, And I think we said we're going to call that Christmas blues, which is like the post Christmas weird wig out.

Correct that four day period or five day period after Christmas Day, But you don't know what day it is Christmas blues. That's fair. So what will it be?

You know what?

You like prosecco and prossecca with some of that syrup, wud be delicious?

Do you know what?

I actually do have something prosecca with Jason, because your father fucking sent me the yellowtail sparkling cocktails.

Oh my god, A shout out to Marchury, love him, b They are delicious?

Which one did you say I should put in that? Because it's like Bellini?

For there's peach Billini, which would be better with the blue of the lime, the mimosa.

Lime and peach together, Are you sure? Yeah? Maybe?

Well, the mimosa is orange and bubbles you. I'm orange.

I already finished that one.

It was good.

I've only got the peach. Oh, it was gorgeous.

I've only got the peach one left. But I've got Baileyes. So what would I do with the milkshake thing? Do I just put straight Bailey's and the milkshake syrup and that's it?

Do I need to add something too sweet? I guess that'd be a shot. If we're going to do Baileys and then the syrup, that's a shot. You can't make a cocktail out of that.

Do you have a true cream? No, I've got fucking yogurt. I've got almond milk. That's pretty much.

Oh my god. No cocktails with Bailey's and then we'll see if we can like tweak it.

Let me google.

Well, we're gonna have to get roving and port Oscar. He was waiting in the green and to run down to the bottle because I don't have anything.

No, no, no. If they're going to ask us to add other ship to the cocktail, Bailey's martini, what do they want to come on?

Vodka, Bailey's and your favorite milk shaken together, we could do that.

Fuck me, I don't have anybody ship. Would you have to not to curl?

No?

I don't know. I literally don't have anything. Oscar, Oscar, chok and Oscar.

We have a task, so I'm going to make some sort of cocktail using Bailey's and milkshake flavoring, but I don't have vodka. If I give you the card for the kiddy, oh can you pop down? Yeah, that's all I need?

All right?

Hang on?

How are you great?

Can you get some chalky? Do you have any chocolate?

No?

I don't, Sorry, Well, I've got his protein bars the shopping.

We want. We'll put the mint out to defrost on the scene, and then we'll forget and then when when Mammy gets home. You know when Mum comes home, you hear the car in the garage.

You got to defrost the chicken breast.

I don't think she ever trusted me with that shit. I think mum knew that I just would forget.

You'd be hopeless.

Yeah, I was undiagnosed eighty HD.

I'd always forget, and then as soon as she came in, I'd rush to do it, and she'd be like, why didn't you do it?

And I'd say I was watching roller Coaster.

No, I did take it out like two hours ago, and it's still like this.

Yeah, sure, okay, Well I may as well grab the stuff before he comes up with the vodka. Yeah, what was it? Just Bailey's vodka and a bit of flavor.

And a bit of your milk, and then we'll add the flavor.

Okay, we could just do shots. We could just do a na fuck that. Let's go on. Do we need the milk though, Oh, Jenna just wants straight up liquor.

It's just a couple. You have to do three, So I reckon three shots of Bailey's, one shot of limes.

I'll just fucking free po it measure with your heart. As Jannith says, yeah true. All right, I'm going to go get the stuff I need from the kitchen. You guys turn among yourselves, okay.

Okay, Well I'm excited. I'm really excited.

It's gonna it's gonna be interesting.

Also a good use for this lime syrup because it has sat in Mitchell's kitchen since Oh my god.

It's been two years.

Oh yeah, I was going to say one.

Maybe, Yeah, you know, I say two because.

It was on my desk for a year and then Mitchell's had it in his kitchen for the other year.

Mitchell, that is disgusting. What is it? Looks like fake blood? It's blue and green? How is that fake blood? Also, it's expired? What no fucky series? Is that a thing? Oh barely? When did it inspire? Twenty third of September.

That's fine, and it says best before, not used by, We'll fucking risk it.

Best before.

He is different to use by. Best before just says the quality will drop. Used by means I'll give it a sniff. It's basically untouched.

It's a sugar. He jetted passed the lime. I till taste yest. No, that smells fine. I just smelled the blue heaven. It's fine.

Oh my god, look at this.

I hope.

You guys are fucking thirsty. I've got four ladies to get through, but I want to get rid of it.

Bailey's Vanilla ice cream and mint essence, but it's green. But we could do Bailey's Miller ice cream and lime and then shake it up.

Ship.

Should I ask him to get ice care? Should we call it? Yes?

Okay? Should I put it through the desk? He put the fader up.

But I have come on clown.

Imagine I didn't take his phone with him.

He didn't take his phone. Oh my god, I bet it's I don't need it. We'll use just make make do that we've got. No, we definitely need ice cream. I'll just send him back down there, because like.

That is essentially a milkshake, milk and flavoring and ice cream.

I hang on his back.

He was quid.

Oh maybe it's because he was in the lift. We were trying to call. You would need ice cream?

Ship, where's your phone?

That was very quick, So now I don't feel guilty. Please get us ice cream and some chocolate, just like sprinkles are like a flake.

Carefully, you'll be back in the animal hospital. That's a funny joke.

You'll get it when you listen back to the episode Oscar.

Yeah, what are you still doing it? Go get ice cream? Ice cream. Don't worry, you'll get a cocktail out of it. Yeah right, well, I'm gonna have.

To fucking bust out the nutribullet. If we're doing ice cream, I'm committing. Let's just hit pause. Honestly I should have been better organized. But we'll hit pause.

We'll be back with some fucking beezy milkshakes in a ticket. All right, see you soon.

It's Oscar is walking back in the door. We've got the ice cream. Can you grab me a spoon?

Love? Thanks?

Right, let's get started start all right, So Mitch, how are you going to do this free porn?

Okay? Oh god, that's pony match.

That's a lot. I'm going to make it all one in one guy. Yeah, do a bit more, Do a bit more. Never realized Bailey smells really potent. It smells like rocket fuel.

One third Bailey's. And then I reckon, you need a good four scoops of cram ice cream.

Yeah, okay, I'm going to open the vodka. Do you want to pop some lime in?

And I think from last time when I made the lime milkshakes. We realized that it actually takes a surprising amount of flavoring, so feel free to really really lime that bitch up.

Okay, all right, Oscar, we need help thinking of a name. Christmas and Lime included.

Christmas and line included what for the for the cocktail?

Yeah, the blue Heaven one. We're going to call Christmas Blues. But then I don't know what to do with lime.

All right, I've added a substantial amount of lime.

I reckon even a bit more. No, that was a light mitchill.

Do you want to spoon to for the coagulation?

Need to stir it? I'm about to put it in a blender. It's turned into jelly. It's fine. It has actually it actually has. It's fine. I'll blend it for God's sake. Give it. I've got a name.

Santa's Come, Shrek's Holiday Christmas.

It is giving Shrek.

I like to Shrek angle.

Okay, the vod is going in?

Yep?

Nice, Oh shit, that's delightful.

Oh yeah, mummy's really nice.

Do we have any nutman, cinnamon or anything in the kitchen?

And I'm not going on a third trip. It's hot as balls out there, nor should.

You Okay, I think you can skip the almond milk na.

That's what the recipe said. That's plenty. Oh can you fucking the back seat cocktail making over here?

Mitchell? This looks fucking awful.

I'd like to see you do a better job. Maybe you should do the blue Heaven one true.

Sorry.

And now the ice cream.

Oh, extra extra and the ice cream, Mitch, come on.

Oh yeah, I'm going to basically fill the rest of ice cream.

This looks like a spider that you get at the canteen, which is giving spider.

I was just thinking that.

That is good ice cream.

So Santa's come, everyone, let's give you the Mitchell. You should have seen what we saw.

Oh my god, why don't we just call it the Christmas Grinch or something the Grinch cry, because it doesn't make sense for it to be Santa's come because he's red.

If his come has read missus Claus is riding a little too hard on, I think it should be Grinch gees. This Christmas pour a nice glass of cold, creamy curdled grinch gear.

Fuck up with the kurdle the swear to God, it's going to be fine once the blend bitchel.

Jenna has gone mute, and I'm worried that she's been scarred.

Okay, are we ready?

Oh my god, I'm going to film for the second. Wait wait, oh, speak for yourself.

That's a new tub bullet. Ready to go?

Yeah, we're ready.

Oh look at that.

You're right, You're right, the hurdles are gone.

I reckon it might need more ice cream.

I think milk.

I think well yeah, oh my god, it smells really strong. I think can put too much grong?

Do we need more ice cream?

Yeah? Look at that fat scoop scoop in. You get bitch grinches jeers? No, just grinch geins.

I like that.

Sorry grinch jeers.

Here we go, Here we go. We'll be the thrivening, isn't it.

Yeah?

This has lightened it up too, the grinch jeers. Everyone is about two hundred mills of bullod creamy ice cream, three hefty shots of limes.

I don't think that we should even bother with the Christmas Blues one because we're going to be drunk.

It smells really strong.

Yeah, I think this is more than an Alright.

Jenna, I'm gonna pour. You've got the cup ready? Okay, here we go.

That's plenty of Mitchell.

Oh my god, pass that down the line, but we need Can you chuck me a flake?

Mitch?

Oh yeah, here's your garnish.

You were looking at it with a really puzzled look on your face. You're looking at it like.

This, I reckon, I'll hear. Yeah, I'll just finger it on top.

It looks like it should be mint.

Jenna, Oh my god, a bit if the cocktail was running down the side of the cup.

So I licked it, and it's fucking.

Are you listening to me at all? I feel like five things. You just flat out haven't responded.

I heard it.

Thanks, You're welcome.

And he's the one with headphones on. You think he would hear? All right, we've all got one each. Here's the moment, all right, Mitchell, grish, cheers, cheers, cheers everyone, A happy new Year.

All right, here we go. Ho ho ha ha. She's very potent, but she's lovely.

This is exactly what I think the Grench juice would taste like.

You know what. The first tip with a bit of a rude shock, But now I'm used to it. It's good speak for yourself.

Oh no, I'm on board talk.

Yeah, that's not that's nice. Wow, we've invented a cocktail today. That's so nice.

Lime milkshake, flavoring, bit of ice cream. Maybe less Baileys in vodka than I've put Janne's not coping.

It's actually not bad.

The consistency, however, it's really thick to swallow.

I've heard that before.

Yea, the greench has heard that before.

I bet anyway, cheers to that. We better get out of here. Thanks for coming to my tutorial. No worries, Thank you, Mitchell. That was a lovely Christmas surprise.

That was very much.

That was a lot of.

Vodka, right, I think the Bailey's is the problem.

Just got a big thing of Bailey's go down my throat.

Yeah, there's like a before, middle, and after taste situation. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's the Bailey's.

Yeah, we've all.

Had a bit of the Grinch.

Right.

Well, thanks for listening it. We'll be back on Wednesday. Today.

It's one of those days where we attempt to record both episodes in one session, so it sounds like we might be a bit tipsy by the time we get to winday.

Wednesday's episode sounds like it's gonna be fun.

Don't forget VR pawn, I forgot about that and Oscar. Don't you get too tittaly because you're doing your investigative journalism out in the street.

No, that's right, Thank you for listening. We'll see you guys soon. Five star reviews on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

You can, we'd love.

Make sure you hit the follow button please, and the notification bell on Spotify said that they'll let you know when a new episode comes.

Geez, everyone make a grinch Jesus Christmas and you think.

Of jeez Idiots like yeez, see you on Wednesday?

Is it just me?

A'm podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to a to D Brief. This is our secret segment on the end, I'm liking it.

I like it to Yeah, can you pass the type of ice cream to Janne because I have a few. I want to put some lime on a bit of ice cream and try it.

Oh that sounds great.

Yeah, I gotta say the lime milkshake flavoring. I remember this from last time. It's not that limey like I've had lime milkshakes that are more distinct.

I was gonna pour it on, but I don't want to ruin it.

Yeah, you're going to ruin a good tub of buller.

Ye.

Do you want to try the blue one as well or not?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah for a brief of course.

Yeah, I really like that.

You're right. The after taste is creamy, delicious.

Think about it.

Yeah, at first it's that you get that rocket fuel because of all the alcohol, But then it just sort of settles, you know.

Well, while you do all that, I'm going to have my kick cap.

Here, Oscar, can you give this a rinse?

Though?

God, it's so good having a fourth period. It's amazing, our runner.

I'm cleansing my palette with some vanilla. Now my palette is neutral.

Good decision.

I'm going to pour a shot of the green on it.

Here we go, lime ice cream. That can't be bad.

This?

Oh my god, I had a flashback.

Chinese restaurant ice cream? Did you ever get as a kid?

I think ours did deep fried ice cream?

Oh, the dessert at our local Chinese restaurant was vanilla ice cream with different syrup.

Could you talk into your mic? It's this a little rule.

Where's the blue Haven Blue Heaven?

Tell me where it is while I'm stilling.

I have it over here.

That's good.

Oh did you bring the cut back? No? I want to make the Volo one.

Idiot just wants his kit cat just sat down to try and unwrap it again.

Sorry, No, it's fine, and I'm still on payroll. I'm on the clock ship.

But Jenna, Mitch, we're doing a podcast. Are you talking into the mic? Just pour metric shit downe of blue flavoring?

And okay, so when we do the blue one, I think maybe someone else would take charge. I don't know if I can be trusted with my pause.

All right, So Mitch, I'm gonna am I competing with you? Now?

Sure?

All right? The Blue one is going to be called Christmas Blues?

Are we sold on that? Because like it's that's nothing compared to Grinch cheers.

Do you mind if I go to your kitchen and rumming through your pantry quickly?

Sure? I do have cinnamon, which you asked about before. I'm gonna get some cinnamon.

What was that show where they like run into the pantry and they had like thirty seconds?

Okay, well, can you take Oscar's mic? Can you take Oscar's mike? I've got it because you can rham around with it. Oscar, come sitting Mitch's chair?

Are you sure?

Yes? You're swapping mic?

All right, I just don't want to overshadow.

Would you like, which just happens everywhere you go.

Oh, I know, we'll swap well done.

Oh can I have my bloody kick cat now?

Yes? Yeah? Can I tell a quick story?

So Oscar came to the TikTok Awards, I did, yeah, And not long before, like during the day, I got a message from one of the people that works at TikTok and they started a group chat with a bunch of different creators. They said, we need you to take part in the very start of the show where you enter the room to a particular song. And I was like, sweet, can.

Do what staff member told you that.

That was not Hayden if that's what you're getting at anyway. So basically it was us at the start of the show entering the room and it came to like twenty minutes to a showtime, and none of us have been told a thing, so all right, hey and I went backstage to be like, can we get some clarification? What are we doing? When do we walk in like what's the go? And this was Hayden Mitchell.

I'm listening intently. He told us what we had to do. It was like some trend where you run. I don't know.

So we had to fucking run into the awards ceremony as part of the show. And all Right, Hey, bless his heart, had a bit of a freak out, was like, I'm wearing heel. I can't run. This is too stressful. I can't And so, to.

Be honest, not much notice from the team at TikTok they run at all.

I think it was a last minute idea, and because all right, Hey and I were the one's backstage asking what's the go, they were also they were also stressed and frazzled that they said, can you just pass that onto every other creator's So there I was wrangling everyone being like all right, former nine players, you know, telling everyone what's what the go is? But all right, hay had a freak gap, being like, I can't do this.

Seen this person since the breakup. Right, this is the first interactions. The interaction Oscar is I don't know, no, but just because Oscar was there. He's not a creator, he doesn't post TikTok. He ended up in the show.

I genuinely said to them when they started telling me that I was going to be running and leading, I went, are you sure I'm not a creator?

Like, I'm not.

It is the right place, right time, And I was like, that's the most Oscar thing ever. He's not a creator, and yet he's ended up in the show.

And also I was in heels too, and I still ran. I ended up running with the drag Race girls holding Ivory Glazer's hand for dear life while we were going through Mitch.

Can I just ask a simple question, what the fuck are you doing going on?

He's put all sorts of ship. I have fan peanut butter.

I need a prenup.

Why for the love of funk that you put that in a cocktail?

I found peanut butter and I've found some cinnamon.

Don't worry, just keep telling your story. He's done. Oh Mitch.

That Jam our listener will gave that to me at my bogan Gate shop.

So it's cherry Jam. It's cherry Jam.

I reckon that could go well and it's fucking lovely that jam. He brought me a gift basket to the bogon Gate show. It's so adorable. Thank you be looking listening?

What does that the new spoons? I've always had those?

Well, that Jams, isn't it? Anyway? What are you doing with this cocktail? It's taking an awfully long time.

The Christmas Jemboree.

Why blue? I've just had to look at the gem up close.

This is going to be called Missus Claus is on the rack, Missus Christmas Blobs.

Blobs.

Okay, here we go, I'm adding some blue. Yep, this is the Christmas Blues.

Actually.

Genuinely, I don't know about you, Jenna. I can't remember what it tastes like, the blue heaven flavoring.

I just remember it not being good, but I don't know how it tasted.

I don't think I've ever had it.

Is it true, Jenny?

That?

Because obviously we had four ladies of syrup to get rid of after we did that one segment and then I said to you, giving away its prizes, and you try, but no one wanted.

No one wanted. Everyone kept saying no, no, rather a different prime.

I even put it in endurant idiots asking who wanted it was cricket.

The fuck sake, people, take these off my hands. So much space in my tiny kitchen.

All right, I'm ready.

You haven't put any boothe in?

No I have Bailey's.

Oh you did? Yeah, you need the body. I don't you reckon? Not as much as I put but yes.

Triple cut Australians, a nip three shuts, A little bit more than that.

Yeah, like money. There you go.

Also, I've had you haven't seen it, but I have added cranberries. Just relaxed, all right, this is the missus.

The hang on before we even hit guy, can you please summarize what for the lover fuck is in here?

All right? So in the Christmas Blues, or the Missus claws on her rags, or the Missus causes Bobby or Rudolph's brain tumor, it is vanilla ice cream, a splash of vodka, a good amount of Bailey, some cherry preserve from a Ninjuran idiot will peanut butter protein version. So this will get your macros up for the day. Some cinnamon and that cranberries, whole cranberries Christmas for the Christmas twist?

And did you add them? And milk cornerw a little dash for to loosen it all up. Here we go, ready, and here we go.

Merry Christmas.

Oh my god.

Okay, oh god, some of it stuck.

That peanut butter is not moving.

No, I've got pieces in it. Wait, we need more glasses. We can see these, can't we.

Yeah, because you would hate to have a bizarre mixture of flavors.

In this three, wouldn't? Should we just put?

It needs more blue past It needs more blue. It needs way more blue oscar Do you want to get glasses or are you in the middle.

Of honestly, like good luck, there aren't many clean carps in my kitchen. Oh god, it added way more blue flavoring to the Christmas blues, which is currently not at all blue.

And more ice cream.

Oh, that's a bit more blue. That's what we want.

It's still pastel blue, make no mistake, but she's blue. What the fuck are the bits in?

There?

Is it?

The cranberry?

There the cranberries. Oh my god, the peanut butters still suck.

I would be truly surprised if anyone's still listening to this ship.

Oh god, well, oscars found a season two inch of mug. Yeah, a season one in a mug, and a season three mug.

Nice, that was all that was left.

Okay, those cranberry chunks aren't getting any smaller. It's gonna have to.

It's going to have I'll serve you up, I'll serve you up.

Okay.

I was going to say, do you want your chair back? I mean I can technically do.

It eventually, I'll do the real This is my cocktail.

I'll just enjoy it for now, all right, serve it up, please.

Oh that textill looks so off.

Oh my god, Mitch, what have you done?

It's really like gluggy. You know it's great.

It's actually gray. That's not possible, my god.

You know what it is?

What it's that color on the white and gold or black and blue dress. It's that color. It's like a really really pale, weird colored blue on. Oh no, we'll be Because there's all sorts of random ship in there, you may as well just call it like the Christmas Bond bond cocktail rise. You know you've ruined Christmas blue bonbond?

There you go?

All right, who wants this one?

Mitchell? That's yours?

Cheers everyone, It's just the Christmas ballbll.

I said it could be the blue bon bond because you just don't know what's in it.

Here we go over and make sure you swallow hard and chew.

This is going to repeat on me. All right, here we go. We're tasting it. The texture is so off. Oh, Mitchell, the peanut butter really overpowers everything. What have you done? I'm not going to be able to finish that. No, I can't. I feel sick. That is vile.

I love it, and you do not.

You surely can't take a ship.

I don't. I think you're fibbing. You didn't even try it. Take another seat in front of my eyes.

Mitchell, Why do I have a burn in the back of my throat?

The peanut butter is really yeah, the peanut butter? How many fucking goops of my good protein butter? Di gu I can't.

Even form a word, Jennef going, this is the end.

Of Do you want me to get some water?

We've killed her in this life.

What you didn't have that much peanut butter, it would have been absolutely fine.

But yeah, I've ruined it with the peanut butter.

It absolutely I can't taste even a drop of Will's jam.

Will's under age careful, No, oh, don't be foul.

Not everyone's mind goes to that when it comes to people underage.

That's just you try so hard to drink it. I don't get the cinnamon. Fuck that.

We're gonna have to post this in the Endurant Idiot's Facebook group, and Mitch, you're gonna have to write the recipe whatever it is.

I'm moving the mugg An earthquake.

Can you talk into a microphone? Talking to a microphone? What did you say?

I just shot a video I'll posted in the Durian Idiots. I'm like moving, Mitch. It's can't even it's not spill it.

It's not because it's like Corey Thick. Okay, so Mitch didn't say he wanted this to be a competition.

Who won?

Oh fucking not? This hold on.

I've added some almon milk and it's like fucking three wives men snot. This is what this should be calling.

If anyone wants to give our cocktails a guy, please tag it's in your photos.

I want to see everyone down in that crinch jiz.

We'll post the recipes step by step in the Injurian Idiot's Facebook page.

All right, should we wrap this shit up?

We end this.

Thanks for listening everywhere. We hope this podcast made you feel at least better. Say that's all just two so we do. Where were you?

Sorry?

I had internalized burt, but I was too scared.

We'll see you guys next week. We love your Thanks for listening.

Catch on Wednesday.

Is It Just Me?

A podcast by a couple of midges.

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