#177: Fatty From Apple Miranda - podcast episode cover

#177: Fatty From Apple Miranda

Dec 03, 202357 min
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Episode description

In this episode:

Iconic drunk purchases (08:59)

Spotify Wrapped (20:15)

Apple in salads (23:45)

Our “Secret Segment” ADDebrief (34:05)

 

Join our Facebook group 'Endurant Idiots' facebook.com/groups/477062186470271

Hit us up: @coupleofmitches

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Is it just understood to blay a couple of mitches? Delease yourself for the rude shocks of young adults. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick? Or sit on a dick and eat a cake?

Speaker 2

Sit on a dick and eat a cake?

Speaker 1

Absolutely? If you sit on the cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd have a waste a cake by sit No? His Michuri and Mitchell coups. How are you?

Speaker 2

Hello?

Speaker 1

You Parla? You lovely in the floral print. Your hair's all blonde one out?

Speaker 2

I think you.

Speaker 3

I didn't really go to much effort. It says to having a good hair day. I love it when those days happen. I'm just like, oh, let it flow, darling.

Speaker 1

And you can never pick it, can you?

Speaker 2

No, there's no rhym or reason.

Speaker 1

I've got more dice in attachments, and I know what to do with it. I don't know what any of them do. Really, I really should learn. There's one that looks like a UFO with sharp things in it, and there's one that looks like a tidal wave. One looks like like a put inside me.

Speaker 3

Yeah, well, a lot of those things, a lot of those attachments wouldn't work you.

Speaker 2

You're very limited with that length hair.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I know, I've got the roal lesbian cut, don't.

Speaker 2

I wonder what you look like with long hair?

Speaker 1

Oh God, I'd look like a prisoner of Azkaban, you reckon, Yeah, like an extra, you know, and Harry Potter. And they're like, well, we just need someone to look like Warlockie, and they put like a chubby guy with a round face and like a really oily slickhead of hair, like walk in the background in mude. Oh, that would be what I'd look like.

Speaker 3

Oh, you never know, because when I told people I was going with hair long, they were like, duh, done know about that?

Speaker 2

You're sure you want to do that? And now look at me.

Speaker 1

Oh, I've known you with long hair more than i've known you with your twin care.

Speaker 3

Oh you barely knew me with the twin hat. I've already started growing it at that point. I was wearing the hats to cover it up.

Speaker 1

Interesting that I tried to stop sucking you as the hair grew out, though, Yeah, I noticed. It's a real trend there, Jenna. Shake your head, because I hope you go toil Price Giby. Jenna welcome on that note.

Speaker 2

Hello.

Speaker 1

Returning after silent for a couple of weeks.

Speaker 4

Yes, Yes, had the live show. Who joins Cinna Manda Live Show?

Speaker 1

Yeah, so we've all been on tour this this month. Yes.

Speaker 2

Wow, she went to she went to what Rudy Hill?

Speaker 1

Where'd you go?

Speaker 2

I went to Rudy Hill?

Speaker 1

They performed at the Colisse. Yeah, not Rome, No.

Speaker 2

Cold Rudy Hill.

Speaker 1

How was your Life show?

Speaker 2

It was really good?

Speaker 1

Actually it was She's part of the family.

Speaker 2

I was on stage at the end.

Speaker 1

Fourth the final curtain call, so I went in the front. How did you bow show us?

Speaker 2

I got up, She's getting it and I went.

Speaker 1

My god, it's a curtsy.

Speaker 2

I pretended like in a theater production.

Speaker 5

And then I do you know how.

Speaker 2

They reached for the lighters?

Speaker 4

Oh?

Speaker 3

Yes, Then they gesture towards the stage guards, the lighting guards, the bloody it's your pit.

Speaker 1

I'm that Wicked. When I went to Wicked, what happened? They poured it down? I went there like, Yeah, I didn't realize. I'm like, are they apporting the costume makers? Because the shoes were hard to make? Because I went quit looking down, I'm like I was like looking up out of my chair. Whose days at it worked?

Speaker 2

I've never been to a musical.

Speaker 1

No, I forgot that there was a pit.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I forgot, now that you hear, Jenna, important fucking discussion we need to have between the three of us.

Speaker 2

Can we be bothered with Christmas presents this year? Oh?

Speaker 3

Or should we do like a Secret Sanata, which is not that eventful us.

Speaker 1

I don't know how that will work.

Speaker 3

Or the Savage Santa where we steal. Yeah, there's three presents in total. We'll buy one each and then we're allowed to steal one from someone if we prefer their present.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, that seems very us. You love to argue. Yeah, let's just say what's the budget.

Speaker 2

I don't know.

Speaker 1

Fifty Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, okay, let's do it. Let's do Savage Santa and the final show of the year. We'll do it.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

Have you seen that our idiots in our Facebook group and during idiots are doing a squish mellow Secret Santa. Yes?

Speaker 2

I saw That's what I was probably going to get for our Savage Santa. Damn imagine we orders rocked up. It was three squish mellows. I was actually that was what I was thinking.

Speaker 1

I fuck my new mallo. Fuck, I don't want another one. I've got two. Now I've got two, but I'm more. No, I don't want more.

Speaker 2

Well, I want Eric at the bar instructor of course.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you need to hunt down it. Yeh. I'm still stuck with my fucking lemon wedge, whatever dumb name is. We're not talking about squshmellow. There has to be something other than squishmallows for Christmas.

Speaker 3

Did I tell you that I'm doing Sean's family Christmas this weekend because they're all going to be scattered on actual Christmas.

Speaker 1

He's game this weekend.

Speaker 3

Yeah, that was the only time the whole family, aunts and uncles, et cetera.

Speaker 2

Were free.

Speaker 3

So it's happening this weekend. And Shord said to me, Oh, the person who got you for secrets and I gave them an idea. I hope you like it. And I was like, you means secret Santa, and he goes, yeah, you got my step mum Kathy. Did I not tell you? It's like, no, you fucking didn't, So I had no time to think of something for Kathy.

Speaker 1

Oh no, so what did you get her?

Speaker 3

You can reveal it because I actually just likes Gin, so they're doing these things at the bottle ow they do a gift pack, like a bottle of Bailey's with a coffee mug.

Speaker 1

I got like a Gin bottle with Yeah they're.

Speaker 3

Nice a branded glass as well, so not huge imagination.

Speaker 2

But again it went over the twenty dollars complaining.

Speaker 1

Wait, so who got you? Do you know he did?

Speaker 2

No idea, no idea.

Speaker 1

They're always really stressful.

Speaker 2

God.

Speaker 1

I remember when I did my ex's a Filipino family Christmas. I'm like, oh, I'll get them something nice, and I got like a soap pack, but I got the sixteen year old nephew and she got was so fucked off. And then I opened my gifts and I got a drone drone. This is this is really. I'm like, I went to Lo Cetan and got a like Lmond oil and you know, a bar of soap, and she's like, thanks, I'm fucking drinking on the weekends and I was on MTMA last night. Thanks for the soap. And then I

get his uncle who's like, here's a drone. We love you. Having used part of the family.

Speaker 2

How expensive would the drone of It.

Speaker 1

Was one of those JB. High fire specials. It wasn't a brand of one that's still cool, one of those ones that would fly be really noisy, and everyone had watch around to play with it on Christmas Day, you know, like every cousin gets a flagship toy on Christmas. Show me it. Mine was VR last year, and I made all my family watch porn. But what I got a VR headset. I made all my family members watch VR porn except your family. Yeah, we're an open family, clearly.

Except the problem is porn had an advance far enough to be gay porn on Vaea. The Plant Studios had only done straight porn. Fine for the family, but I was repulsed.

Speaker 2

That's bizarre that they haven't done that.

Speaker 1

Have you ever tried it VR porn? Have I tried porn? Put those two words together, VR porn?

Speaker 2

No, I have not. I've not done VR.

Speaker 3

Oh my god, I'm bringing it in even know it exists, know that this is the first thing I'd ever mentioned.

Speaker 1

Oh sorry. The problem is with it is the scales all wrong, so you look like it looks like God's Zilla and Mothra fighting in the city, except they're just a dick and a vagina. You like sitting on the couch, and then there's just like these two big people just in your in your work, old fucking.

Speaker 2

Look up at them. They're standing above.

Speaker 1

Yeah, they're giant people. Or you can scale it down and zoom it out and it looks like you're in the room in the corner watching and as you walk up you can get closer to them. It's really quite it's quite exciting. Should I bring it?

Speaker 3

I mean, I'm kind of curious to look, but I don't think even if they.

Speaker 2

Did gay porn, I don't think that's for me.

Speaker 1

I'll check if they've updated it.

Speaker 2

Yeah, well you can do that when you bring it in.

Speaker 1

Fantastic.

Speaker 2

That's the next week's Wow, that's.

Speaker 1

The show next coming up next week, come gay porn and we're all good. We're already to start the show. Yeah yeah, all right. Well, if it's your first time listening, welcome to Is it just me? We start every show with and is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we hate to appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitchell's. And that's the rule.

Speaker 2

One of your teasers with the tip what's yours?

Speaker 1

The tip of mine?

Speaker 2

Yeah?

Speaker 1

I think I want to tease you the tip of mine.

Speaker 2

Please.

Speaker 1

I haven't really, I haven't really landed on. I've got a couple that I'm mulling around.

Speaker 3

So I'm going first, they take it, And you were going to mull instead of listening to what I'm saying?

Speaker 1

What'd you say? Classic? That's the show in a nutshell.

Speaker 2

End of the year.

Speaker 1

We've all clocked out Jenna's naked. Yeah, have you not?

Speaker 3

Well, I've clocked back on for the sake of the podcast, but otherwise, yes, I've well and truly clocked in.

Speaker 1

Is it just me on the fly? Have you ever actually clocked in or out in real life? Yeah?

Speaker 2

Have you using my fingerprint? When I worked at maccas what fingerprint? So I couldn't if I was running late for work.

Speaker 3

It used to be a pin number, but people started sending a cheeky text, can you clock me in? So they'd still get paid for the same even if it's a difference of thirteen minutes, which would equate to ninety cents at macas.

Speaker 1

Wow.

Speaker 3

And then they change it to fingerprints, so the only you can clock yourself on and off.

Speaker 1

That's spooky, that's black mirror stuff. Yeah, And Jenny, You of course would have punched in with a paper card. Yeah yeah, yeah, and a steam whistle. It'd go on the mind. Yeah, Rio Tinta, you opened Rio, you dated Rio? I did? All right? Do you want to go first, Mitchell? Sure, let's not my reason. All right, let's jump in. Is it just me?

Speaker 2

Are you sometimes prying to a bit of a drunk purchase?

Speaker 1

Oh my god? I did. I made a drunk purchase the other night. Yes, yes I did. Why did you?

Speaker 2

There's been many in my time?

Speaker 1

Yeah, yes, what was yours? Oh well, I need a big winter coat for Europe because it's going to be like minus ten degrees in Scotland. And I bought a vintage Versaci fur coat. What a bit on?

Speaker 2

How much would that have been?

Speaker 1

Like five hundred dollars?

Speaker 2

And then you won?

Speaker 1

Yeah, but I didn't think I wasn't It was like one thousand dollars on this vintage No it's not even eBay. It's a vintage designer website that I didn't even know about. I just found it when I was drunk at home. And then when I did a fur coat and I like Vasaci and it was like a thousand bucks I bid five hundred, and then I woke up going, congratulations, you've won. Please pay nine hundred Polish FECs. Whatever the fuck it is it is coming.

Speaker 2

From Poland, do you regret it?

Speaker 1

Saying now it's gorgeous, show you it's very nice.

Speaker 3

And so you said that you were drunk at home? Had you been somewhere and then just gotten home.

Speaker 1

Yes, I went out drinking, had a bunch of cocktails, and then you know, you can't sleep your hearts.

Speaker 3

I was about to say, I think that is when I'm most prone to drunk purchases, that wind down period where you can't go to sleep straight away because you've.

Speaker 2

Just been out.

Speaker 3

That's when the drunk purchases happen, right before I black out.

Speaker 1

It's me I get horny or I get to click frenzy, like it's one of the two, Like either I'm going to like jerk off or call someone or buy a fur coat from Poland.

Speaker 3

The amount of self restraint that I showed during Black Friday no longer just a Friday.

Speaker 2

It's a fortnight.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yes, you're exactly right. I fucking hate Cyber Monday.

Speaker 5

Oh my god, the emails, especially from skims.

Speaker 2

Okay, skims. Yes, have you bought from them before?

Speaker 1

Well?

Speaker 2

I did for Black Friday? Right, Okay, so you're on the mailing list.

Speaker 4

Yes, I am now, and I know it because it was like next day, twenty four hours left.

Speaker 2

That's all of bi annual sale. It's too much, but I got it for five days. Yeah.

Speaker 3

And then they always have like a countdown at the top of the website, been like fourteen minutes left until this isn't on special anymore.

Speaker 2

You be fresh at a few hours later, the bitch is still on special.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And can I just say I get text from companies I didn't even know existence Still, I got a text from Crazy John. Crazy Joy died on my ideal.

Speaker 2

Now now is that the name of the crazy frog?

Speaker 1

That Crazy John's the old Telco company? All right, that's a joke. It didn't actually text me, but it's like BMS Protein Shakers on sale. Reply stopped to opt out.

Speaker 4

I got Barney beds, Barney dog beds.

Speaker 1

Stupid. It's my fur coat, by the way, isn't it nice?

Speaker 3

Oh?

Speaker 2

Wow? Fur it looks leather.

Speaker 1

No, it's leather, but the fur around the neck.

Speaker 2

Oh, I see, And it's not real multiples?

Speaker 1

No, no, I remember asking you, firstly, finally even.

Speaker 3

To find that my drunk purchase. There's more often than not like merch, What.

Speaker 1

Did you buy it? Tell me?

Speaker 3

Yeah, I thought over the years, Lady Gaga merch.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I thought Miley Cyrus. What type of merch? Just like a shirt or something.

Speaker 3

And the thing with buying from overseas is that often they take ages to send it, and so by the time it rocks up, I'm like, ah, there's a package for me at the door. Someone might say what is it? I'll go, who knows? That could be anything.

Speaker 1

I don't know.

Speaker 3

I always checked the mail room at my place because I'm like, I don't think i've ordered anything, but fuck knows, you know what. I'm like, I could have who knows, And so I forget if it's on its way, and then they'll just be a Miley Cyrus shirt.

Speaker 1

I'm like, ah, all right, then.

Speaker 2

Good, Yeah, because I purchased.

Speaker 4

So when I got home one night Connie was being irritable, I thought, you know what, one of these mouse toys that run around itself would be a really good purchase.

Speaker 2

Totally, and you just thought of it, and You're like, I'm getting it now, yes, and on Wish.

Speaker 1

I mean, oh my god, guys, I've been hooked on Tim. It's like it's how would you describe it?

Speaker 2

Similar to Wish.

Speaker 1

It's similar to Wish, but you actually the products are actually real.

Speaker 2

The Wish doesn't have a good reputation.

Speaker 3

Literally, the whole anecdote about oh, it's the Wish version of.

Speaker 4

The mouse that I got broke two days later. It arrived seven months later.

Speaker 1

I ordered something off team. It was one of those ear watchers, like I had a camera in the tip his finger.

Speaker 2

I watched so many of those ads.

Speaker 1

I want to see that mini HD. You know, I love tech to mini HD camera and.

Speaker 2

Watch a camera.

Speaker 1

It's a camera. It looks like watch watcher. It's got an eye on it. Watch he watch what time is it in your ear? You put it in? It shows your ear wax. But it smelt so heavily of burn. But I couldn't use it, like it's stunk of burnt plastic.

Speaker 2

Or what do you call that product?

Speaker 1

Like in E camera? Would you want that?

Speaker 3

Did?

Speaker 1

I get itchy ears?

Speaker 2

And the videos they're very sad.

Speaker 1

I've seen. I've seen videos of people, a family and bog on moths from I have to not terrifying.

Speaker 2

Now that reminds me of another drunk purchase of mine.

Speaker 1

Oh what is it?

Speaker 2

I got like on Amazon, some black head remover. It can't be good.

Speaker 1

For your skin. What is it? How does it work? Is it a tool or is it a cream?

Speaker 3

It's a tool and picture like a pair of tongs and it vibrates and you just run it along your nose.

Speaker 1

Oh it works if you do it.

Speaker 2

Like gently and only like one swipe.

Speaker 3

Because one time we got carried away and I just like took all this fucking skin off my nose.

Speaker 1

You shave your nose skin.

Speaker 3

It wasn't a shave. It was just like in how you squeeze your nose and the white shit comes out. Yeah, it was that basically, but it was a scraper and it goes.

Speaker 1

That's the perfect example of a purchase that sounds great drunk and terrifying sober.

Speaker 3

No, because I was looking at it going this absolutely just cannot be good for my skin. There's no way, fucking hell, this is a good idea. I still do it occasionally.

Speaker 1

If I was drunk, I'd look at like a you know, an electric chair and be like, I need one of those.

Speaker 3

Yeah, nearly one during Black Friday, ordered a fucking reclining chair.

Speaker 1

But then I was like, no, dog, do you mention that on the show?

Speaker 2

I did, didn't I? And I think maybe it's time.

Speaker 1

That'd be the end of your that'd be the end of your productivity, Mitch.

Speaker 3

It actually helps because if you sit there with your laptop, you're too lazy to get up because you're comfort so you're just kind of stuck there with your laptop on you and you can't do anything but work.

Speaker 1

Yeah that's right, Yeah, yeah, very true.

Speaker 2

I'll see if I can find this stupid nose scrapy thing, I'll show you.

Speaker 1

I want to know what people have spot bought drunk let us know, send us a DM.

Speaker 3

But I would also like to give a shout out to a few of our listeners who I suspect may have drunk ordered our teal ear mugs.

Speaker 1

Oh what do you mean? Why do you suspect?

Speaker 2

Because it gives you the time that they ordered.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I'm going to battle this off. I won't give their last name. Yeah, I'm going to battle off this and you tell me were they drunk or not? Okay, So Thomas twelve fifty six am, maybe not.

Speaker 2

Maybe he did night shift.

Speaker 1

Yeahah, true, but Thomas sounds like you're boozy.

Speaker 2

I feel like he's just scrolling at night before bed and.

Speaker 1

I had to buy one of these I forgot.

Speaker 2

Yeah, Jayden one forty eight am.

Speaker 1

Hm, oh that's strung Yetual, that's almost two in the morning. Yeah, why are you thinking of us at two in the morning, you creep?

Speaker 2

Well, we've also got Lee three am drunk.

Speaker 1

Hold on, is this three am our time? Are they in different times?

Speaker 2

It's our time?

Speaker 1

Okay?

Speaker 3

I checked drunk and then Karen was the record holder three twenty four am.

Speaker 1

Yeah, shout out to you, lock Care. And that's absolutely incredible.

Speaker 3

The world because you know what I imagined their thought process was when they were sober, they were like, oh, I love one of.

Speaker 2

These mugs, but do one need it? Do one need it?

Speaker 1

Yeah?

Speaker 2

And then when they were drunk, they were like.

Speaker 1

Oh, fuck it, I'm going to treat myself.

Speaker 2

They were still thinking about it.

Speaker 3

It was still lurking in their brain and they were like, bugger it, I'm going to do it.

Speaker 2

And I love that.

Speaker 3

That's how often my drunk purchases are things that I've been thinking about getting, but my sober self would be like, don't be silly.

Speaker 4

You know.

Speaker 1

That's why I can't go out and be drinking, because I will just keep buying drinks. And I get real generous. I'm like, go want lemon lime and tap tap tap, I've got a hat.

Speaker 2

Just don't check your bank balance. The next day.

Speaker 1

Oh my god, I had to turn notifications off because my westpacat would give me a summary. I'm like, I don't want a summary.

Speaker 2

Here we go. This is the Blackhead things I finally found out. Look at it. Oh my god, how would you describe that?

Speaker 1

It's a mini vacuum. It's a handheld vacuum.

Speaker 2

It's not a vacuum. That's a piece of metal that you used to like scrape. Oh good.

Speaker 1

Oh no, she looks really happy though. The model. How much was it? Thirty nine bucks? Pretty?

Speaker 3

Yeah, it was nothing, And like I said, it kind of works if you just kind of go one quick swipe and your gentle with it.

Speaker 2

But yeah, if you get two carried away like I did, I was like, I'm going to get every single pool.

Speaker 1

It was not too much, all right. Well, thanks to the idiots that drunk brought our products.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah, cheers to that have a Baroca Darland Yeah in the mug, Yeah, go for it, But no, I do kind of want to hear other people's most embarrassing drunk purchase, you know, like, oh, I accidentally bought fourteen xboxes or something. Yeah, something stupid like that, and maybe you regretted it. Maybe you didn't I pop something in the Facebook group.

Speaker 1

I want the stakes to be higher, like did you log onto World Vision and sponsor a child?

Speaker 2

Yes, but brought a goat?

Speaker 1

Did you play a goat?

Speaker 2

Yes?

Speaker 1

Maybe you adopted a dog in.

Speaker 3

I drunk adopted Isabella Jerry Lockdown. There you go, and do I regret it?

Speaker 2

Sometimes?

Speaker 1

Is it just me?

Speaker 2

You should follow these idiots online? Search a couple of mitches now still to come.

Speaker 3

In our Wednesday episode, episode one seventy eight, Jenna's.

Speaker 2

Junk returns, we are sort of approaching the end of the year, so we need to do a purge of.

Speaker 1

All of our shited gems, like a clean out.

Speaker 3

These are all the is It just means that we do not run because we're like, eh, we don't have heaps.

Speaker 2

To say about it. It's just like a one sentence headline sort of it.

Speaker 5

Gim My junk is overflowing.

Speaker 1

People have been commenting in the office about your stature.

Speaker 5

Yeah, I know you need to get it can't handle it.

Speaker 2

She needs to release to release stress.

Speaker 1

You need to get it out. And anyone who's going to release your junk it's too gay man. Of course it feels natural and fair.

Speaker 2

It is natural.

Speaker 1

So yeah, we'll do that on Wednesday's episode and all.

Speaker 3

So we're going to be checking in on our eBay auction. Yes, I still don't know, because Cheery put them on eBay our pots we were selling from our pottery class.

Speaker 2

I still don't know which one beat the other, who made more money? Yeah, I want to know.

Speaker 1

I am fully aware. And the auction has a clear winner. That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 2

Like, not even a close time, like a clear winner, a clear winner.

Speaker 1

We're talking many dollars in between the wins, and of.

Speaker 3

Course the winning bitter gets to choose a charity that their money goes to it correct.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it'd be very cute, very wholesome. Unless their charity, of course, is something that we don't support. Than I guess we have to. What if they did say that we want to support the Hell's Angels, our money is going towards the common gaeros? Yeah?

Speaker 3

Are we allowed to veto something like that? I think if we all I'm not well read enough on Hell's Angels.

Speaker 2

They could be doing great work.

Speaker 1

Mitch, Mitch and Jenna. Thanks. I'm putting my money to the Johnny Brahim Foundation. I don't think that's a good trot.

Speaker 2

But they just put it towards Trumps supporter group.

Speaker 1

Imagine not standing for that.

Speaker 2

Surely we're allowed to be her.

Speaker 1

No, I'm putting my money to Arsonist United Arteners don't get enough support. Absolutely, you're the chairwoman she is, go straight to your pocket? Yeah, so stupid?

Speaker 4

Right?

Speaker 1

Should I do my major?

Speaker 2

Are you ready?

Speaker 1

How already? That's a god? Sorry? Is it just me? Does Spotify Rap Season really piss you?

Speaker 2

Yes?

Speaker 1

Because people post they're Spotify rapped and they're like, I can't believe Lady Gaga, where is my top song? It's like, I actually can believe it because it's actual data, babes, it's data. I can't believe I streamed for dumb for dumb enough times to wrap around the Earth seven orbits. Yeah you can, because you're a gay man from Surrey Hills. Everyone is so shocked that.

Speaker 3

Hey, if one good thing comes from the Spotify rap thing, I know you love a bit of fucking validation.

Speaker 2

You dopamine hit from strangers the doring.

Speaker 1

You, Yeah, I do.

Speaker 3

How many people got users there? Most listened to podcasts every.

Speaker 1

Year on Spotify A lot?

Speaker 2

There you go a lot and we love you all, even even trash Ali was in a lot of people's top five. Real that hasn't been on all year.

Speaker 3

I do have to question the Spotify rapp thing because a lot of my results seem to be based on like early in the year.

Speaker 2

I don't factor in the rest of the year.

Speaker 1

For me.

Speaker 3

Every time, I'm like, I swear I only listened to that in March? Why is it my number one?

Speaker 1

Well, here we go, so I'm going to read out what I got. I don't use Spotify an Apple music boy's wondering. Yeah, but it does the same thing. It's called Apple music replay. It's the same.

Speaker 3

It doesn't have the same ring to it doesn't ever in my fucking life seeing someone post Apple replay screenshot on Instagram, I did today, did you care?

Speaker 1

It's also because Apple people, we don't care. We're cool. Apple people are cool. We believe in aesthetic.

Speaker 5

You know this is for us, right, Okay, like we don't have to conform.

Speaker 1

No, we're Apple were Apple uses.

Speaker 2

Because that's so Indy.

Speaker 3

No one uses Apple products, no fucking energy.

Speaker 1

You wouldn't get it. You don't understand you're an Android user. Yeah, not in practice, but visually.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Speaker 3

I don't have anything against Apple Music. It's it's that my dad started a family plan on Spotify, and I was like, fuck, y'll leach off you.

Speaker 1

You're leaching off your poor farmer father.

Speaker 3

But I'm the only sibling that makes the point of transferring them three dollars a month.

Speaker 1

Oh, that's really strict.

Speaker 2

I pay for my bit my access.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Do you know what's fucked though? Sorry to Railroad Origin.

Speaker 1

That's fine.

Speaker 3

Spotify have started doing fifteen hours worth of free audio books for every premium customer. That's great, except if you're on a family plan, only the host gets the fifteen hours of books. And I'm like, surely again, it's not fucking he's not reading, he's not taking advantage of that.

Speaker 1

If you should be able to should be able to pass it.

Speaker 3

Down, Yeah, you can't. I'd have to cancel the plan. The family plan i'd have to restart it, but obviously i'd put his credit card details in. I'm not fucking shouting, of course, but I would want the free audio books.

Speaker 1

I'm glad Spotify do that. Apple. I've signed up to Apple Apple One, which is every subscription service for forty bucks a month. Anyway they throw in free Apple Arcade. I get like angry Birds plas or something.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it's really beatification about that.

Speaker 1

The other day I get all the time. Yeah, but your games are and has lost twelve points. Collect your tickets.

Speaker 3

I'm like, what any.

Speaker 2

Of that shit is.

Speaker 1

I'm like signing contracts and doing emails on my phone. It's like your penguin harvest need to be collected. I'm like, what the some game I dwnloaded on a flight. It's like games are bricks and balls, has updated twelve new balls in your basket? I'm like what, I'm an adult, and so what.

Speaker 3

Did you get for your Apple wrapped or whatever the fuck they call that.

Speaker 1

I've been hungering out. I have an Apple wrap, a turkey and grand resource. My auntie makes a killer Apple rap this time of year.

Speaker 2

Okay, it's now on the fly.

Speaker 3

Yes, any salads that have bits of apple in it. Fucking I hate apple in a salad with fruit in salad.

Speaker 1

Oh my, got fruit and salads. Pear in salad and ride. Fruit in a salad has the weight of my heart.

Speaker 3

There was one the other day that had fucking watermelon and fetter and lettuce, and I was like, water melon.

Speaker 2

No, you can't combine that.

Speaker 1

That's a fruit.

Speaker 3

Oh yeah, that's there in lines of my argument bread and salads.

Speaker 1

But apple's not a fruit. Apples like it. But I mean apple has apple? Has apple on a sandwich?

Speaker 4

No?

Speaker 1

Absolutely, as you care.

Speaker 2

I'm saying apple has apple has.

Speaker 1

Ascended past being just a fruit. It's like when you.

Speaker 2

Say band aid having an apple sandwich.

Speaker 1

We wouldn't do bread apple bread. You do bread, chicken, mayonnaise, sliced apple.

Speaker 2

Oh listen, witch, that's foul. That's worse than a salad.

Speaker 1

All right, next week on the show Gay Porn va an apple sandwiches. I can't wait.

Speaker 2

Do I get to do my Yeah? No, go and spit out your top songs.

Speaker 1

Jesus, my top songs. That's a different playlist. Oh my god, all right, here we go my top song number one Sleep Fruit Music one hour loop of sleep Sounds, Oh my god, ten thousand, six hundred and ninety four minutes.

Speaker 3

Fuck me, we have the same problem. What do you have my Spotify wrapped Look Deep Sleep five hundred and twenty eight?

Speaker 2

What's eight? Said me?

Speaker 3

Eight hurts hurts five and eight hurts number two Healing five to eight Hurts, Quiet Movement. All of these sleep tracks because my alexta is automatically there to start playing sleep music at ten thirty.

Speaker 2

Then when I go to bed, it's already there.

Speaker 1

It's lovely.

Speaker 5

All of my every day all of my sleep music is from YouTube.

Speaker 1

Oh no, mine's from wrapple music I played on my home pod.

Speaker 3

Number I had not once factored in that that was going to hijack my Spotify rap.

Speaker 2

I should have done YouTube, my paper premium as well.

Speaker 1

Exactly number two, Ambient fruit Music number three, Avamax number four, Fruit Sounds number five. Kimpetres, I'm so depressed. What is wrong with me?

Speaker 3

I think that mine might have taken into account that sleep music is its own category because it still gave me my top artists. But my top songs were all sleep fucking songs.

Speaker 1

Oh really?

Speaker 3

And so my top artists were Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, cold Play, Yeah, and.

Speaker 2

Then Gargo and Kylie and again.

Speaker 3

I was like, I swear I was feeling nostalgic for one week and listen to a.

Speaker 2

Bit of cold Play? How the fuck are they know my number three?

Speaker 1

Totally? I don't know how it works. I don't know where the algorithm comes from. But the problem with this is it Apple makes you a playlist. It's like you should reminisce on twenty twenty three, but the playlist is just a bunch of rain and thunderclaps.

Speaker 2

I've got the same problem. It's asleep.

Speaker 1

It's like a sensory thing you'd put on for a baby to swaddle them into a sleep.

Speaker 3

Let's compare who does the elite sleep music? Oh good, Apple Music or Spotify?

Speaker 1

All right, let me go?

Speaker 2

Can I bring you chee?

Speaker 1

They're sure?

Speaker 2

Oh good course, good fucking call. Is there a way I can plug my phone in?

Speaker 1

See you here?

Speaker 2

It properly?

Speaker 1

Not on the fly? I know, well how.

Speaker 3

Long would it take? Not on the fly, because like playing it on here is not going to do it?

Speaker 1

Do you have a cord?

Speaker 3

There we go, Jennet's plunked it in? Okay, Well you better go first. Then if you've already plunked it.

Speaker 1

In, yeah, go for it. So this is your sleep. We're comparing all three of us sleeps.

Speaker 2

Apple versus YouTube versus Spotify.

Speaker 1

Yeah, the big three. So this is my YouTube closure eyes.

Speaker 2

Boring?

Speaker 4

Nah?

Speaker 1

Do you sleep like covered in vasoline with your arms across your chest, like you go down a slippery slide. Now I need to pity. I feel like I'm two and Carmen and being laid to rest in a room full of gold.

Speaker 2

It's beautiful, No, it's not, is it his?

Speaker 1

No wonder your cat has sensory issues.

Speaker 2

She sits on the bed and listens to it too.

Speaker 1

Do you fast forward to the hook?

Speaker 2

Okay, most replayed.

Speaker 1

Just like expected.

Speaker 2

Oh that's a good bit.

Speaker 1

That's a really good bit when we play that. Wait, is that a sample?

Speaker 2

I don't like the rain. I don't fuck with rain noises.

Speaker 1

Oh I do give me the cord.

Speaker 2

One time I was trying to put on rain noises.

Speaker 3

There's a bit of white noise, but I also had my air purified going, so it was just like a white noise overload.

Speaker 2

I felt like I was stuck in a fucking static TV.

Speaker 1

That's oh, No, I got the new phone. That's not gonna work. I've got a new Adapter fifteen. Yeah. Sorry, Oh wait USB, I.

Speaker 2

Am such a hoarder of cords. I reckon I have it.

Speaker 1

I need OX to USBC. Yeah, I got that.

Speaker 2

I got one of every adapter mate.

Speaker 3

Now for times like this, no shit, hang on, No, I was excited.

Speaker 1

Hang on, come on, hanging.

Speaker 2

I counted my chickens before they had ship.

Speaker 1

Would be. The new iPhone fifteen has really loud speakers, so I'm sure it'll be okay.

Speaker 2

Well, if it's a competition, you will lose because the quality.

Speaker 1

Is kind of This is my most played number one on my replay. It's called Southwest Rain and Thunder by rain Fruit Sounds.

Speaker 3

Oh that's too much. How far away is your HomePod from you when you listen.

Speaker 1

Three and four meters?

Speaker 2

Yeah that's too much. No, that's a lot of rain you use.

Speaker 3

Mitchell hen doesn't have any rain involved, because I don't funk with that.

Speaker 1

I love the rain. The rain's the best part.

Speaker 3

I already have to get up multiple times the night to pierce. I don't need that incourage.

Speaker 1

You can pull the whole thing, Jenne, if you want to I don't get up at all during the night to Pierce.

Speaker 2

Oh sorry, okay, prepared a feast your ears on this ship.

Speaker 1

Close your eyes, you.

Speaker 2

Crank it up please. That is good. Actually, it's like impregnating your brain. That is good.

Speaker 1

No, shut up, you're just jealous. I feel like I'm in an a soop.

Speaker 2

No, but mine is like a combination of both of yours.

Speaker 1

What brings you in today? We have any fragrances quill No, this is like a beautician welcome to a datis bark.

Speaker 3

While we're on the topic, Mitch, if you're running out of ideas through our secrets, Sanna, I do need some more ASoP.

Speaker 1

Did you enjoy it last time?

Speaker 2

Yes?

Speaker 1

If I'm getting you guys, fucking ASoP last thing I wanted to cheap U squish mellow from Jenna.

Speaker 2

Okay, this one's a bit boring. Let me find another one.

Speaker 1

Now we only have one option each that's exactly the same.

Speaker 2

It's completely different.

Speaker 1

Actually, there is a different hurts. The only hurt I'm feeling is actual heart pain.

Speaker 2

There's usually a gentle piano situation.

Speaker 1

What about this, oh gentle piano?

Speaker 2

This one has called It's not just the one noise.

Speaker 1

When's the drop sounds like a orc song? Cut it off? This is stupid.

Speaker 2

Well, I think it's clear that mine, we know.

Speaker 1

I think it's very subjective.

Speaker 2

Mine's winner, mine's.

Speaker 1

Real, Mine's based in reality. There's nowhere on earth you can hear those actual sounds unless you drop a coin in the Jenolan caves. Well, the sleep mear thing, No, you're dumb, harps. Mine is natural thunder sounds. Yours are fake, but they're not natural.

Speaker 3

That's actually why I don't fuck with them, because I'm like, I know deep down that I can't be fooled. I know it's not actually rained there, or I will not relax in response to it.

Speaker 1

Perhaps somebody's an idiot and somebody is in a se I've always thought that. Yeah, I'm glad we finally landed on a group consus. All right, let's go, let's get out of here, all right.

Speaker 3

I hope no one died behind the wheel of car listening to sleep music.

Speaker 1

Oh God, though, wouldn't we shut upon my worst enemy?

Speaker 4

Though?

Speaker 1

Nless you be asleep?

Speaker 2

So you're not a fan of Spotify raps in a nutshell?

Speaker 1

Nutshell is Spotify rap? Terrible fruit on sandwiches delicious. That's what I wanted to get across to the world.

Speaker 3

You've even got fruit in your sleep music. For God's I know what they call it again.

Speaker 1

I've got fruit in my sex life fruit and my music a rain fruit sounds. That's it. The Best New Artist at the Grammys.

Speaker 3

Mine's it's a playlist called Binoral Beats Deeper Sleep.

Speaker 4

If anyone's interested in mine, it's calming music plus soft rain sounds, sleep music relaxing.

Speaker 3

Do you pay for premium or is it like rac into the Good Guys halfway through a sleep music song?

Speaker 5

No, my team has it, so I latch onto their account.

Speaker 1

Now I use Apple Music, we know, so I wasn't thinking straight.

Speaker 3

I was asking her if she pays YouTube premium or does she get ads during a sleep music and.

Speaker 1

I just said I use Apple Music.

Speaker 2

I'm Mitchell.

Speaker 1

I told you we had to go. Sometimes I fade and when I say let's go, that's the last ounce of lucidity that I.

Speaker 2

Know that was giving. Okay, I'm a gem.

Speaker 1

Who's that from the.

Speaker 2

Abby Chatfield Bachelor edit? Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 1

Did never watch it?

Speaker 2

Huh?

Speaker 1

I never watched it?

Speaker 2

Did neither?

Speaker 1

I host a radio show with two girls that got to the end of the Bachelor and I've never seen an episode.

Speaker 3

Oh even I've seen an episode, but you know that it was the thing that went viral.

Speaker 2

It doesn't matter. No took about it with her on the our podcast.

Speaker 1

I was looking at her breasts. I was straight at that point. You were not. I thought you were like three years with Hayter. Don't say the name. Sorry, Nay, you need to play you eight hurts again. I'm stressed?

Speaker 2

Are you Spotify?

Speaker 1

See everybody? Thanks for listening to the show. The update from our auction happening Wednesday's episode, get Ready, Catch You Soon, Get day by Bye bye? Is it just me?

Speaker 2

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Speaker 1

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Speaker 3

Welcome to ad Debrief. This is our secret segment on the end, we just talked shit here. There was a poll in our group about whether people actually stick around to the end.

Speaker 1

I did see that discourse.

Speaker 3

Most people do, so fair to say that most people have found the secret, but that doesn't mean it's not a secret.

Speaker 2

You can't go tell anyone else about it.

Speaker 1

No, Well, I posted in it a photo of me and my date that I went on because we wanted visual aid for the Tinfish Date Night. And I spoke last week about the date that we got locked in the National Park on and did you see what someone said? Someone was like, oh, Mitch getting it from a gorgeous twink. He looks gorgeous. And then I'm like, what do you think he looks like based on context clues? And then someone like googled, like, they must have googled stock image twink,

And then have you seen who they think I'm dating? No, get it out.

Speaker 3

By the way, the worst part of my job on this podcast is you just flippantly saying, but yeah, we'll post the photo on the social and then me, the arsehole, has to chase him up because I'm like, I know we won't. So every every day before the rest of the podcast, I'm like, can you send me a photo if you dressed as Santa? You mentioned that you were going to post it on the socials, and I know you won't.

Speaker 2

But Mitch, You've always had that problem. Remember when I worked with you on Slow HQ.

Speaker 1

Yeah, of course, that hit night show we worked on.

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 4

Seems like forever a girl said we'll pop it up on our social and She's like, fuck mane what you know what?

Speaker 1

It's a tactic. I do it on the pickup to when I make a really funny joke, I go all right, we'll get that on the social so then they have to make it smart. It does work otherwise just Laura talking about her kids, or you know, it's Scottish boyfriend going up and going well, I want a joke. Sorry, that was personal issues. This is the comment ready, I want to know what he looks like? And I said, what do you think he looks like? He said something like this, but with a points.

Speaker 2

Show, it's just it's Jacob a Laudia.

Speaker 3

He's too old, He's not that looks something like him that is not too old.

Speaker 2

Now it's like to be the guy. Your guy looks younger than that. Yeah, he's got braces.

Speaker 1

No, sorry, he was going with a costume parties, so he was dressed as Huie. That's why he was wearing those braces.

Speaker 2

Did he actually have braces?

Speaker 1

No?

Speaker 2

Okay, he look so offended and I was like, oh have I nerve?

Speaker 1

Did he actually? I was making a joke now I'm not all fun?

Speaker 2

What have you done? My apple camera bump fell off camera bump.

Speaker 1

What is that? I bought it on Amazon.

Speaker 2

It's a camera bump. Is it like a screen protective for the camera?

Speaker 1

Yes?

Speaker 2

Oh, what compelled you to buy that? Did you break them?

Speaker 1

Fatty at Apple? Miranda said? I should Who fatty at Apple? Miranda?

Speaker 2

Oh, I thought you meant like Miranda. I thought that was someone's YouTube handle. Yeah, I thought it was Fatty.

Speaker 1

Up Apple Miranda reviews. No Fatty at the Apple story Miranda, Right, I'll give you all the story till they can. I went to Apple and I wanted an iPhone when last Saturday. And yeah, and I used to get Apple discount from the girl that I lost my begin I need to remember, I told you I've told this story before.

Speaker 2

I don't think you've mentioned that Fard. I've heard about the girl.

Speaker 1

Oh yeah, she I had terrible sex with her, and then to thank me for the last ten years, she's given me fifteen percent off, so.

Speaker 2

Bribe you to never do it again. She started giving you Apple.

Speaker 1

Now, I think it wasn't. I think I think I taught her what she didn't like. She was grateful to learn that from my horrific straight sex. Anyway, she was lovely. She left Apple because I messaged her and said can I get the discount? She went never a never messaged me again. I don't work it. So I went to Apple like a player. But I had to buy a full priced iPhone because I dropped mine. Anyway, I was very upset. So I see Fatty, I go, Hi, Hi, how are you? It was gay and I went I

was going to try the old school cheery charm. Why amped it her? Ap the cheery charm?

Speaker 2

Okay, how.

Speaker 1

Fatty? When'd your lunch break?

Speaker 4

You be?

Speaker 1

Fatty asked me a simple question about an iPhone.

Speaker 3

What's your Apple ID? I'll just get you in the cue for the Genius Farm. What's your Apple ID? In password?

Speaker 1

I want to be in a cure. I want to be here with you, Fatty.

Speaker 2

You were turning it up that much.

Speaker 1

I was turning it up to enough for me to get him to go and apply his fifteen percent of Christmas discount.

Speaker 2

And he did it.

Speaker 1

He did it.

Speaker 2

Wow, you did it, And now you are calling him fatty. His name is Fine.

Speaker 3

I thought you were being insulted. Oh he's Arabic a d I thought you. I said, oh, why did you buy that? And you were like some fat fuck Apple Miranda. I seriously thought you would have calling them a fatty, as if I would ever do that.

Speaker 4

I was thinking, thought, and then I realized, oh wait, maybe that's no.

Speaker 1

I wouldn't tell you that. That's what I thought the whole time in twenty twenty three, almost twenty twenty.

Speaker 2

Anyway, So you were fucking flirting with Porky and then what correct?

Speaker 1

So I was flirting. I was flirting with him, and he gave me the fifty percent stuff discamp, and then me and my friend Kristen were her and she's like, I think he's horny for you, and I was like, I don't know. So we were flirty flirting anyway. He goes, hey, we're going to back your phone up to the new phone transferred over the cloud. It's gonna take a while.

You're gonna have to go shop. Okay, that's all right, he went, thing is, I want you to know when it's ready, so don't have to keep popping into check. He's like, give me a personal number and i'll text you off my personal phone, smooth, and he gave me his personal number and then he texted me, Hi, Mitch Fatty here from Apple Miranda. Your phone is ready with a little smiley face.

Speaker 2

Smiley face, I wouldn't be right in home about that.

Speaker 1

He was on the clock, and then I came in and got it and we sort of hugged and hug you hug yeah because he gave me discount. And I say it, fatty, Can I get you any sort of lunch? Can I get your lunch salad? I your salad? And he went with Apple, He went no, I don't want to sell without He would have loved that just to gift card in there. And then he went no, no, I'm on protein. I'm bulking. And then I left. Anyway,

I got fifteen percent. I've got the new iPhone. And he said on the way out, make sure you get a camera bud protector. Those cameras are really fragile. So I didn't. It just fell off when Jenna.

Speaker 3

Was even Apple staff for telling you, oh, they're pissweek.

Speaker 2

You need to protect it for it, like, really, just make better cameras.

Speaker 1

I agree, But it's really how big the camori is now with it, I'm there, It's like.

Speaker 2

It truly doesn't look that different to the old model I phone. Why doesn't Apple sell them?

Speaker 1

No, No, they sell screen protectors that Fatty put on on.

Speaker 2

Every time you say it, it just strikes me. Let's get Fatty a call.

Speaker 1

I've got his number. Should I call it?

Speaker 3

Yes?

Speaker 1

How am I gonna find it?

Speaker 2

I didn't save it in recent messages.

Speaker 1

That's two weeks ago. I've talked to her. Okay, I'll find it. I meet your phone's done? All right? There was no emojia embellished, completely shy, and I actually wrote coming with with I sent the emoji with the star eyes because I was starry for him.

Speaker 2

Oh, I've just read his text. He hates you.

Speaker 3

Oh my god, that is so cold that I wouldn't speak like that to my worst enemy.

Speaker 2

He hates That is cold, not even a fucking full stop.

Speaker 1

Should I text him and go hi, Fatty thinking of you? Yes? And then said poor Fatty Boughton.

Speaker 2

A voice test it? Are Fatty thinking of you?

Speaker 1

All right? No? Because that's my local and I go there all the time.

Speaker 2

You go there?

Speaker 1

How do you go there all the time? I'm a fanboy. I wouldn't do that to Fatty.

Speaker 2

Well, what's something less creepy you can say?

Speaker 1

Hey, Faddy, just want to thank you again for the set service. Two weeks later, Hey, fatty, I can't keep saying it, see what I mean? Because I got I got a prompt on Google saying on Gmail saying, hey, how how do you rate fatty? Oh?

Speaker 3

Okay, and that's how you spell it? And I was wondering, you're sure that's how it's pronounced though, because he said even if he said that to me, I'm fatty, I would have.

Speaker 1

Been like, what Well, first I said same, I'm like, you look great. Anyway.

Speaker 2

Do you want to hear something fucking whild that happened to me this week?

Speaker 1

Oh? I'd love to.

Speaker 3

I reckon, you're going to get a kick out of this. You're either going to be highly jealous or just happy for me. I don't know, we'll see.

Speaker 2

I just so happened.

Speaker 3

The irony was that I just so happened to be at our therapist and I just finished bitching about.

Speaker 1

Like, oh God, not me, I hope.

Speaker 3

No, no, no, it's a weird elephant in the room. I've never mentioned your name because I don't know if that's unethical that I'm talking about one of her clients to her.

Speaker 2

Not that I have the need, but I just haven't mentioned your name.

Speaker 1

What did you say, we're talking about the gay heffalump again today.

Speaker 2

Oh no, we've not actually needed to discuss you.

Speaker 3

Good.

Speaker 1

Good.

Speaker 3

She has like sort of pride, and I just like, I don't go there because I'm like, oh, it's weird.

Speaker 1

I don't know if she knows. Well, I just refer to you as the wicked witch of the West. Wow, wow, joking. I don't this compliment.

Speaker 3

This is not the point of the story. But you want to hear something else that she said to me. She said that I can tell that you're bottling up too much resentment. You need to learn to let out anger more often. And I was like, bitch, that's not safe. No, you don't understand what you're asking for.

Speaker 1

That's like a prison guard going to Ivan Malatt in Silk Water State Prison. Let the gates open it. I think you need the door to be opened from this, and you need a backpacker in here just to get a cool.

Speaker 2

Breeze in here.

Speaker 1

We trust you, no worries Ivan Zodiac Killer. Here are four women.

Speaker 2

But like, anyway, so this is the I'm giving you the context.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

I was leaving the therapy appointment and had just finished talking about Oh my god, I'm so burnt out. I haven't had a day off since before the Adelaide and Perth shows. Like every day I've been like today's day. I'm going to have a day off, and then fucking something pops up. I've just been in work mo for too long. I'm so exhausted. I don't need anything else on my plate. Ironically, as soon as I leave the therapy appointment, I've got all these fucking miss calls from my comedy manager.

Speaker 2

And I called him back and said.

Speaker 3

What and he goes, ah, I just had a publisher reach out to ask if you want to do a book?

Speaker 1

Oh?

Speaker 2

I was like, not right now? The worst time to pitch a book to me? Are you serious?

Speaker 3

I'm just pitching about too much work and now a book?

Speaker 1

Right? Is it a good book? No, it's not a coo books.

Speaker 3

Well, it could be anything I wanted to be a sis. It's just a book deal.

Speaker 1

What was you right about?

Speaker 2

Na, that's the latest problem.

Speaker 1

Would I be featured in the glossy pictures in the middle?

Speaker 2

I think that's your second question.

Speaker 1

Well, I've loved well, the third is well done. That's not a question, that's a statement. I am happy for you. That's exciting.

Speaker 2

Can you do it? I don't know. It's early days. I haven't even still.

Speaker 1

Trying to think of the title. Mitchell Coombs by first options never the best, so often you circle back toward as the final choice. Write that one down.

Speaker 2

I shan't flick flick my hair because your hair is because it's long. No, that's not good.

Speaker 1

I picture the title being one of those like you know how kids books can have put felt on the front cover, so like it's you with your hair, but the hair is made of felt comes out of the book.

Speaker 2

I've got no idea what I would do.

Speaker 1

That's a good idea, Like a Harry McClary book, that's exciting. What would you write? Because you're too young to do? Like my story up to now, that's the thing.

Speaker 2

I'm like, Really, let me live a bit more trauma for.

Speaker 3

A kid.

Speaker 6

Fuck.

Speaker 2

No, what would I know about kids books?

Speaker 1

Nothing?

Speaker 3

But you've got I never read them to a kid. You don't think I read them myself either?

Speaker 1

No, I didn't read books either.

Speaker 3

You know what Nick said to me our mane He goes, you're going to be the first ever author to write more books than you've read.

Speaker 1

Yeah, Like, fuck, you. That's very true.

Speaker 2

Audiobooks count.

Speaker 1

Have you ever finished a book?

Speaker 3

Yes, if there's one thing I know, it's memoirs. Don't give a fuck about Harry Potter, but I read heaps and memoirs over my time, Scandal, hands, cac my journey. I didn't read Kerrian's. I did get a copy of it, though, and we just defaced it. It's called like Kerry in a Bold Life, and my friend just crossed out bold and it's Skanks Jeff Kerry and Kennley A Skanks Life checks out.

Speaker 1

Wait, that's very exciting, Mitchell. Yeah, what are you saying to do from here?

Speaker 2

I don't know. We haven't gotten to the even the initial meeting yet. Just reached out, so exciting. Yeah, we'll see.

Speaker 1

Well, we'll give some away on the show. Also, book takes like four years to happen.

Speaker 2

Could we get some free copies?

Speaker 1

Yeah, fuck sake, Jenny, we'd give some away for sure.

Speaker 2

You're asking for a freebee. I paid for my dumb Bitch Walk merch from.

Speaker 1

Cherry Girl Walk Merch. Yeah, thank you for that forever. But sure, dear, we've got issues there. If you haven't received your hot Girl Walk Marte, please dar.

Speaker 2

Me, and another reminder. If your mugs smashed, please let us know.

Speaker 1

We want to place it.

Speaker 2

So far, only one, only one smash that's really good. One that we made a photo.

Speaker 1

Yeah, we all need evidence. You can't just say my mug smashed. Well, that's exciting, Mitch.

Speaker 2

Updates on the book, please don't old your breath. I won't have any updates. You excited?

Speaker 1

Yeah, but please don't make it an autobiography. You could do fiction, because it's not yet, it's too early. Would you write a fiction?

Speaker 5

Would you do it like a hard copy or a soft coffee?

Speaker 2

You'd start talking about like.

Speaker 1

The poor book?

Speaker 5

Now, like a hard copy it's hard around.

Speaker 3

Oh is that what that means? I don't know if I have much to say over that.

Speaker 2

Can you make it hard coffee because it's nicer?

Speaker 1

No, it's not a hate hard copy.

Speaker 3

Now you can't you can't like sit at the beat well no, not that, not even that. But you know how you pick up a book and just sort of flick through it to get the book smell.

Speaker 2

You can't do that with it.

Speaker 4

But I'd like to read the soft cover, but have the hard cover sitting in a nice spot, right, Yes, I see.

Speaker 1

All right, Mitch, call your promoter and make sure that Jenna's worries are passed.

Speaker 3

Can we do a print run of one hard copy? Yes, just the one for Jenna.

Speaker 2

Did you sign it? Yeah?

Speaker 1

Okay, that's nice. I don't love Yeah, I'll sign it too, all right, let's get out of here.

Speaker 2

I don't think so.

Speaker 1

No, it's not a joint venture anyway.

Speaker 3

Going back to your suggestion, as if I could write a fucking fiction.

Speaker 1

Wait, is that the yeah?

Speaker 2

Is that the not.

Speaker 1

Would do fantasy like you could? I'm they're ridiculous, like make a new superhero like Twink Boy? What do I know about that? Not anymore? No, true, twink boy?

Speaker 2

What do you mean not anymore?

Speaker 4

Well?

Speaker 1

Your twink death is upon you, isn't it? Yeah?

Speaker 2

What is the cutoff?

Speaker 1

Twenty nine?

Speaker 2

I'm not there, true, i'd say twenty eight.

Speaker 1

Are you? You are a twink for sure?

Speaker 2

I don't know anymore.

Speaker 1

You're also brunette. I feel like blonde twins get longer, but brunette twings.

Speaker 3

They are also like naturally bags of bones, yes, and also typically hairless.

Speaker 2

Let me tell you something for nothing, I'm not airless. No, do you shave these fucking legs.

Speaker 1

Do you shave everything? For Sean?

Speaker 2

Not like everything on my about my junk.

Speaker 1

I'm talking like junk and like in between the cheeks.

Speaker 3

Not everything, because that did look like I haven't got the pumity out of the enough of course, but yeah, obviously I've got to keep it intact.

Speaker 1

Yeah, the whole shave thing, it's like, have some decorum, like people who shave themselves completely. It's like question the guys that you're dating if they want you to be a shaved full twink. Yeah, there's worry.

Speaker 2

Yeah, to me, that's a red flag.

Speaker 1

Major red flag.

Speaker 3

Also, like have you come across that in your travels? Have you pull down someone's pans and been like, fuck me? If you even grain preple?

Speaker 1

Well, I saw my reflection in the machine of skin and there was no hair there. What was going on? And there's something in between my teeth th it's got about but it's all I just find it a bit off putting, Like I want to sleep with a man, I want there to be hair.

Speaker 5

Now I'm with you, I'm with you, Jenna, Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1

Yeah, thanks for that. Yeah, thanks for coming to my defense.

Speaker 2

Of course.

Speaker 1

Also, who am I to judge, I'm covered in hair.

Speaker 3

I'm That's what I think makes me not technically a twink because they have, like naturally not much hair.

Speaker 1

Is it natural? I feel like they do. They just they just choose to shave it because they feel like that's what society wants of them. And I think free the twins. Let them do what they want. Tweet twin death is a real thing, though, Does it worry you?

Speaker 4

No?

Speaker 2

I don't think I've been a twink for years.

Speaker 3

Technically, I don't know what category I fit into because there's twinks, bears or whatever.

Speaker 1

I think I've recently changed. For the international listeners and the straight listeners, they're like these are we're talking about the gay tribes that.

Speaker 2

I think people are aware of that.

Speaker 3

But yeah, I think twigs just like young, choice, varn looking.

Speaker 1

Twinks, young, slender, often hairless, youthful looking gaming and.

Speaker 3

Just like a typical cheery quiff that's their hairstyle.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Really think it's changing. With Jens Ed, I've got the middle part prince charming.

Speaker 2

M So what am I? What tribe am I?

Speaker 1

You'ld be a twunk or otter twunk?

Speaker 2

I think a drunk twink.

Speaker 3

No, I think a twink is like, I feel so representative. It's drunk twink And can you google what is a twunk?

Speaker 1

Please? Thanks? Jenna's like, SERI, but slower.

Speaker 2

No, I'm logging into it.

Speaker 1

It's logging into what porn hub?

Speaker 2

What is logging into what?

Speaker 4

Yeah?

Speaker 1

That's what I want to know.

Speaker 2

That was embarrassing.

Speaker 3

I now my computer never locks now because I had to turn the settings off. Yeah, I had my There was like a projector behind me and my Adelaide show. Yes, and I was like, oh, I may as well chuck my Mitchell Coomb's live logo up there.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 3

As I walked down on stage, my laptop locked. So there's this on the backdrop behind me, just my Mac crook screen asking me to enter the past.

Speaker 1

That's embarrassing.

Speaker 3

It was, And so the following night I turned it off and it never sleeps now. My Mac is always on.

Speaker 1

It's awful.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's awful. You're not even fucking listening, maam? Are you texting?

Speaker 1

No, I'm not. I'm trying to find VR gay porn. I found it, so I'm actually going next week's problem A twunk? Are you still on that?

Speaker 4

Yes? A term used amongst the LGBTQ community to describe males with the face of a twink, but the body of a hunk.

Speaker 1

Oh oh no, sorry, how dare you? I mean, what's a hunk? There?

Speaker 3

As soon as they got to the topic of body you go, oh, actually, no, he's not a hunk.

Speaker 4

So a bodybuilding is Tom Daily. Tom Daily is an example of a twunk.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you know what, I'll give you, twunk.

Speaker 2

I'd give reluctantly.

Speaker 1

No, no, no, not reluctantly. I've given it.

Speaker 4

Thought like this is Look this Glee star has gone from twink to twunk?

Speaker 1

Is that the one is that I have to push it to see?

Speaker 2

Oh god, no, I don't care that much. I do like Tyler Oakley is probably a good example.

Speaker 1

Willam Michelle's abbs look great there. Tyler Oakley is a great example.

Speaker 2

Yes, yeah he did gets on teach Now what a life? But some kind of jealousy.

Speaker 1

What do you think I would be because Mikale, Oh yeah, the wi I was a bear. I don't think I'm a bear anymore.

Speaker 2

Well, what qualifies a bear?

Speaker 1

Big hairy? Right, full stop?

Speaker 2

I don't think you're a babe.

Speaker 1

That's what I know. That's what I'm saying I just don't know. I don't have a tribe. I wandered the wander the holes looking for someone to fit in.

Speaker 2

Why do you have to fit in?

Speaker 3

That's so true, and yet we just had to squeeze me into the twink category?

Speaker 1

Well what am I?

Speaker 2

No one said that to me?

Speaker 1

Why do you need a label? Mitchell?

Speaker 2

You don't need to.

Speaker 3

Conform, Actually, Mitchell, you do. Cherry doesn't need to conform. We've got to put you in stumps that are fucking boy.

Speaker 1

Well, you don't need your box. You've got Sean. I'm wandering the holes looking for love. I don't know why I said holes twice. Mentally, I'm trapped in some sort of high school, mentally for.

Speaker 2

Love, an American high school.

Speaker 1

I'm with Dylan Sprouse. We're on the set of Riverdale.

Speaker 2

Hello, you mean Cole.

Speaker 1

Well Faired? What's his name? Doughead Jones, kJ Kappa Love.

Speaker 2

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today.

Speaker 1

That's all so we do. From the Twink and the and the who Knows What and the Wench, we send our love. Yes, we made Christmas. Well, it's Christmas season. This episode officially comes out on December.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it is, it is. Why are you arguing?

Speaker 1

I said, yes, I'm going.

Speaker 2

To start confiscating his face. Is it a weird move when it's distracted? I?

Speaker 1

Well, no, it's because my camera bump fell off and I'm furious.

Speaker 2

It's super clue what I'm okay?

Speaker 1

I got a snapchat from my twink and I got distracted. Want to snap him back.

Speaker 2

From my twink? How disrespectful.

Speaker 1

I think that's a term of hideam your twink? Twink for twink for all, He's yours too if you want him to be, it's not. I don't think he's yours to offer. Yeah, he's not mine. No, we haven't had that conversation, but just generally, oh, even if we had had a conversation, not to offer that my twink. No, I think that's hot. Do you not get turned on when Seoan goes this my butte?

Speaker 2

He's never said that you can hick him in the teeth if he did.

Speaker 1

Oh, I love that?

Speaker 2

Really?

Speaker 1

Yeah, Like it's a nice like this mine, no one else can touch it.

Speaker 3

I'd be like, listen here, it's not yours, stickhead. You're more than welcome to visit, but it's still mine.

Speaker 5

Yeah, I agree.

Speaker 1

When your butt's being spoken about in the bedroom.

Speaker 2

I agree when she has her rigorous spankings.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and you've been ravish.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I'm merry Christmas to you and yours. Are we going? I'm really content? This is nice.

Speaker 2

Oh finally we found the elite sleep music.

Speaker 6

Oh my god, just try this is peaceful at this.

Speaker 1

That's my music. Nah, that pan Fluke.

Speaker 2

Doesn't do much for me.

Speaker 1

It's too wooden.

Speaker 2

It's like a sad Shakira song.

Speaker 1

Shake Kira, Shake, you know she always says her name, she cries.

Speaker 2

My hips do Na.

Speaker 1

This would make my heart race. I'd be going. I want to go to not pry deluge. Where we're going? Where are we going? Vista del Mar?

Speaker 2

I don't know.

Speaker 3

I actually don't know where your train of thought has gotten you to At this point, I can't keep up by this.

Speaker 2

What about it to sleep?

Speaker 1

I'm trying to find all sleep songs. Nah, No, this is like ready I'm about to fall asleep. Hold on, did I leave the other knok is my aunt Julie is still alive. I'm going to solve a murder totally. That's why I think it's only murders in the building. This is how I got to sleep. To be honest, I bet you do va helmet on, pants off, fully immersed.

Speaker 3

Now that I know that, I don't think I want to use your v goggle. No, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1

I've never finished with it on. What what's the point Not Well, I've done it around family. I've never actually done it for pleasure. I've done it for a joke. Okay, I don't need v up on, Thank you very much. Wow.

Speaker 2

Okay, it's very defensive today, isn't well.

Speaker 1

I took our therapist advice and I'm not beaten around any bush.

Speaker 2

Beaten around some bush.

Speaker 1

Well, No, famously there's none. All right, let's go. No, there's a little bit. Thanks for listening. We hope this Bye.

Speaker 2

I catch you Wednesday.

Speaker 3

Bye.

Speaker 2

Is it just Me?

Speaker 1

Podcast by a couple of make sure You've on your cast up

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