#176: C'k B'k

Just stood a couple of mitches.

Delease yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.

Is this an intervention, No, it's not an intervention.

Well it's a meeting.

That's not an intervention. No, one's in trouble.

Jenner and I just have a group chat without you and that we're very scared.

So you have a direct message. I'm not jealous for that. No, he is.

Michturi and Mitchell coups.

Hello, you are you?

How are you? Mitchell?

You're not too bad soldier. And I'm going to say that lame thing that everyone says in a small taught situation. No, I'm ready for the year to behavior.

Oh fuck I am.

You and I had the most middle aged conversation we've ever had with each other today. We both like looked at each other, saw each other's eyebags. I'm like, I can't wait for you to be wrapped.

I know that fat fuck sand I better get a wriggle on. I tell you totally for to be over it.

Just be on the fire A Sanda lost his impact. What do you mean he doesn't have as much impact as he once had?

What do you mean more it's because you're not a child. You're not as excited about it. I thought of an intruder.

I love a man to climb into my house in the middle of the night, and you know.

You're like, hey, I'll squeeze through your chimney too.

I'm like, uh, load your sack on the anytime, right MEA No, I just I feel like he's lost his clout. Like we used to talk about mister and Missus Clause with a mister and Missus Smith of my generation A mister and missus is that the name to mister and missus brad Pitt and like they were hot and sexy.

Everyone wanted to be them.

Who the fuck wanted to be mister and Missus Clause because they were hot and six because what I think, because they were like they were the couple, like he was traveling the world while she was at home with the elves.

Like God, they work well together. Codependency monogamy one I won.

Yeah, right, did you? I actually thought of you a few months ago because there was some article in the news about the fact that shopping centers are having a Santa shortage.

Yeah, I can't wait to hear how this reminded you of me?

Well, because I was like, you do a great job if you'd slapped a on, like you don't have the age, but you can act as Santa quite easily.

Though cats take a suit off my lap. I'm really good.

See that's why I thought of you. It's only a one day course. They just train you to be Santa, and they pay you extra if you've got your own gray hair and don't require a week, or you've if you've maintained a white beard.

That's me.

So you wouldn't get paid as much as some of the top tier Santas. But honestly, I don't think they're fussy because I've seen some fucking busted looking sand in recent.

One hundred percent. I remember one stand on one year at Westfield. Miranda had no front teeth. What do you want for Christmas? I go take my gift, get yourself some fucking benches Anti.

I remember during COVID when it probably wasn't COVID safe to get a photo with kids on Santa's lap. Yes, oh I do. The Ashfield shopping Center put this fucking hellish Santa mannequin with sunglasses on for people to get photos with, and it was the most haunting thing you've ever seen in your life.

Well, you know, I've been Sancha at the Sydney Children's Hospital for sick kids.

See that doesn't surprise me one bit. That's why I thought of you.

Natural and I was a kid like I was probably twenty, and I was dressed as Santa.

Well, you're going to have to cease your hot girl walk. If you're going to go for a Santa gig. You need to have that jolly big belly. Oh my god. The photo of you with Santa, he told you I post is online. Put that in our Facebook group.

I will. I don't know about this, children, I haven't Yeah.

Oh yeah, you can crop that man.

Oh okay, you with Santa.

Sure.

Hey.

Speaking of Christmas, I've officially booked my flights. Christmas night, ten pm I am flying out of Sydney.

And I'm going to Scotland for Christmas. For Christmas, well.

Technically for New Year, because i'm flying out Christmas night so by the time I land in Glasgow it'll be Boxing Day.

Wow.

Okay, I'm going to Scotland for New Years.

That's exciting, but also fuck me, the thought of doing that flight to the UK right now kills me.

Or Youah, I should say whatever, I've only done it. I've never been to Europe. I've been to London, but i've never been in where.

Okay, so you've done the London flight. So you pretty much now what you're getting yourself into.

Now, I was twelve, I was it might be worse.

Actually, if it's to Scotland, that might haven't me longer.

I think it is.

Yeah, I've got to go Sydney to Dubai, Dubai to Glasgow direct.

My parents went to Scotland recently and daughter to door. It was like thirty five hours. Uh yeah, yeah, I don't know.

I'll be all right, I'll be okay, but you want to know something truthful. But I've been thinking.

I think I'm anxious to solo travel. Oh really, yeah, I feel like I'm going. I'm meeting Britney. My radio co ho was Britney Hockley.

Oh so but just the actual travel part you'll be silent.

Well no, yes, the travel part will be solo. Yes, but I'm meeting Britt boxing Day. Her boyfriend is a professional soccer player for the Celtics.

And so once you're there, she'll kind of be the trip mum. She'll do all the admin.

Well, I'm there for three weeks, she's there for one week, and I'm staying at her apartment with him, so i'd have to pay accommodation. We're doing the Scottish Highlands. I'm having New Years in Edinburgh Castle with the fireworks. However, New Year's Day. For two weeks until the fourteenth, I'm traveling solo around Europe.

Oh god, this is so cliche. This is so cliche. White girl guys there a breakup and travels to Europe to find herself.

I found myself. It's like I'm maybe losing him again.

You never know. Good luck with the search though, keep looking. What do I do?

Where do I go? It's winter. It's zero degrees right now in Prague zero You know me.

I do kind of like cold weather. None if it's like New York winter cold. That was too fucking much.

I think it's gonna be that cold. I want to get a fur coat and walk through the street. Have you been to Amsterdam? I'm thinking no, of course, not, no, no, never. I was about to go full Real House fives on you there.

Oh funny, yeah, no.

Have you watched The Real House at the Sydney yet, sorry to pivot.

No, no, don't pivot.

No, I haven't, but I want to save some things for the flight months until I go.

So is it just me on the flight? Should all apps have the option to download y Netflix you can do it, which is where Housewives is. I don't think you can download pieces Stand you can do it, love Standing, yep, stand and stander on it.

Netflix you can.

And there is another one that I didn't expect, Apple TV plus you can.

I did that.

I watched a lot of Morning I was like, money was every episode. So I'm banking up some shows to watch. Okay, I'm so excited. I book my flights. I've chosen my seats. I splurged them premium economy.

I'm going with the premium economy.

I think it's only two seats instead of like four four. Is it a three four four three? I'm an idiot. Three four three.

It's two too many numbers. He's saying that it's only a row of two seats.

Correct. Okay, that was God, you're a brain. I love to think like you think.

I was like, I'm not needing all this information. I think I have the information I need. I'm not the two seats in the row.

It also has like a little bed that got like the legs. It's got like a little bed that goes up, and it also behindes like essentially into a full bed and nothing.

Is it just me on the fly?

Yeah?

How fucking good is a reclining chair? Oh my god? I think I need to invest because when I was home at bog and Gate, I was sitting in Dad's reclining chair and I got so much work done because A I was so comfy, and B it's a bit of admin to get up once the lap tops on your lap, I can't fully reclined elle on the couch not the same reclining chair. I agreement, I need to get one.

I agree.

I want a lazy boys with they call her a fat boy, like a lazy boy couch.

Like a lazy boy sofa. Yeah.

Do I want like a big fat soft cat like social reclinent.

Yeah yeah, not a lazy boy. In terms of partner, I like someone with ambition. Yeah, this is premium economy. See, like you get like a little like a footbed.

That reclining foot chair thing that doesn't go high enough.

Look at that? Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, she's just posing for a photo though.

Look this looks nice. I'm sure you're gonna have a lovely flower.

I'll be fine. Yes, I'm very excited.

But Idiot's the reason I bring this up now is if anyone's done euro Solo, please message me and make me feel better.

What is there to do? Where do I go? Should I do Paris? Should I do Amsterdam? I'm Dutch.

I might want to go to the Netherlands and see some like old family things like my grandma's house.

I don't know, So you're actually going to have to do all that while you're there, like figure out what bus do I get on to So you're leaving it all open, not booking anything in advance.

I will book bits and bobs.

Okay, yes, I think that's kind of more exciting to me.

It is. What should I go do today?

Yeah?

And I've allocated six days at the end for London, so I've got friends in London. I want to go see Graham Norton, I want to go do see some West End shows. So I'm going to have a good chunk of London at the end because I fly home from London. Yeah. But yeah, I've just booked the flights. Idiots who've done that or have been to Europe in winter, or know where I should go, or if you know me well and.

From Europe right now, maybe you could play too a guy.

Oh my god, Yeah, I need gorgeous man over there in London or in Europe.

Message me that's true.

Yeah, you can be in my backpack.

I got a message from someone recently who I'm friends with on Facebook. Yeah, and he told me, Hey, I'm going to be coming back to Australia and I'd love to catch up with you again. And I was like, who the fuck is this man?

Oh, apparently you hooked up with him? Yeah, when I don't remember, and you had it in my Facebook.

He said that he's been to my house. Wow, we didn't fuck, but apparently we met out and about in Newtown and he came back to my place for like kick on drinks and I made out with him, but I have no memory of that. Wow.

Well it's clearly a good makeout because he wants to see you again four years later.

Yeah, and that's the first time that's ever happened to me where I've just forgotten someone that I've made out with.

Holy fuck.

That's scary.

Are you going to see him? I don't know if that's appropriate, but like his friends, you can be friends. I suppose potentially.

Because I had to basically outright ask him, who the fuck are you? Can you refresh my memory?

Thank you?

Oh my god?

All right, well listen, welcome to Is it just me? Everyone? Every show we start with and is it just me? Something we've noticed, something we had to appreciate.

We're hand and the reins over to a listener today. Sure, who's kicking things off for us?

Oh my god, my brain just quite literally went to throw to thirteen one o six ' five.

I've done that much radio. I'm like, I've had hell.

I mean, if you want to call it the only one at six five guy Friddy, it's but it's not going to get you very far.

No. We have a river in Sydney, High River.

I love La Darlan. Hows things doing well?

Doing well?

How long have you listened to the show?

For about a year or so? I discovered it off sinces that TikTok and yeah a while but yeah.

Cute, beautiful, thanks for checking it out. I'm glad you're still here a year later.

Yeah. Well, Bradley or can't you in and you want to hit us with your region?

Definitely, let's go.

Is it just me?

Should foot traffic always be done on the left?

Oh?

Like yeah, well in this country yes.

I think normally, yes. But I'm one of those people that like zig zags through everyone because I walked ten times faster than everyone. So I'm gonna do a lot of overtaking.

Yeah, I'm the same.

But once I overtake, I always make a point to zip into the left to be like fuck you, just so you can because that's how you do it. You always go to the left even after overtaking.

Yeah, don't you think? River?

Absolutely? And so what throws a spinner in the works is he goes right top rights the other.

Week like a shopping center. Yeah.

Yeah, the escalators top ride go on the right.

Ah, they go up on the right.

Oh my god, I actually noticed that.

Why do they do that? Do you know why?

River?

I don't, but multiple people have gotten two hugs, gone up the down escalator and cause hole. It's really funny to watch.

I mean, I always check which way it's going before I jump on, but I did when I was out doing the rug sniffing thing with Oscar. We tried about the escalator and you're a wrong line.

Okay, wait, but surely escalators it's not based on design because they're just steps. They could just chuck it in reverse, so clearly there's a reason for it to go the other way.

Aroun. I'm going to google it because the escalators look the same. I'm googling it.

They called escalators or travelators, depends on where you are. I think it's the same ship.

I forgot how bad Top Ride shopping center is? This is posted to Reddit. Why does the top four Calrs Park have no entrance? It's a nightmare. I took the escalators up one level, only realizing you have to loop the whole.

Center to get to the next. Wow. Everyone is completely so pissed off with the shopping center.

Really, that's where they had the best rug smell.

Interesting.

Oh my gosh, that's It's not just me.

Look at these epic fail there's a whole Reddit thread.

There's a YouTube video epic fail at escalators top Ride.

What Yeah, people are complaining about it.

Do you know what? I don't think they should also have more of you know, like the Bay Run or something where they've got the walking track and a separate bike lane. Yeah, and then arrows for which way people should be walking on which side. I do find that helpful, because if I'm walking on a regular footpath, then they don't have a bike lane. I've nearly got knocked the fuck out plenty of times. Oh god, yeah, which is on me? I don't really What the fuck was that river.

Through a horn?

Oh?

Okay, they agree with the escalators. Actually they agree.

Yeah, got so.

Could be started on bike lanes, Like that's a whole separate.

You don't like that I'm talking about, like if it's a footpath and bike lane, not on the road road with the cars. It's like a foot path that has a separate bike.

Bit right, No, like bike pads. I'm always about to get run over by like someone on their bike.

I'm disillusioned. I'm like, if someone hit me on a bike, I'd still sue them even though it was in a bikelade like I did. Some bike lanes to me aren't part of the law. You know what, You're lucky to be to bike lane. You're lucky we let you bike drivel like the rest of us.

It sounds so old right now, I do and I don't mind.

River.

How old are you?

I'm thirty?

You see, well there you go, River. All right, thanks for listening, River d M Jenna and we'll get you a prize. Okay, thank you, we love you, Thanks for listening. See your river. What a sweethearts.

If you want to come on with an is it's me of your own, you can hit us up at a couple of mitches on Instagram, or sendate the text on this number.

Oh far too till nine A two zero two nine.

That's right.

Oh that was the wrong one. Send us a text, didn't have the senate the text.

Play alternate, I alternate, we.

Have that's my favorite part where you goes than at the text.

Well, we've got a B side, we've got a demo version, and then we've got a release.

I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah, different options. Got an extended intro and it' to forward announce what we've got a radio edit. Yeah, plenty of options from Oscar.

Okay, anyway, many options.

That is still the number. However, send us a text to be featured on the show. It's easy.

So I made a bit of a cock of myself over the weekend when I had my Adelaide and Perth shows charted my comedy tour.

What did you do? Was it on stage? Was it backstage or was it before the show?

Well, there's two examples. One of them was during a flight, one of them was on stage. Actually, it's not quite like you to admit your fuck ups as well. You like to just you know, get wiggle your way out of them or never talk about them again. That's true. And I'm not like dwelling on the whole weekend as a disaster, right. It was Actually it was actually really good. That were like some of my best shows I've ever done. To it, it was great. It was a tiumph looking

Bit, yeah, and then you die inside when you think back to them exactly.

So there were two moments like that that happened. Do you remember not long ago on the podcast you were telling me you went to the airport and someone thought that you were offering to pay for their lunch, and it was a really awkward moment where you had the opportunity to be a good samaritan doing a random act of kindness. But i'd all misunderstand.

Yeah, I accidentally paid for their food and it was expensive, and then I said, oh.

Please refund it because you're not paying for their food.

Yeah, and they were already thanking you, going, thank you so much, that's so kind, and you were like, fuck that, no, give me the money back, please the person mind the count I made a fuck up.

They thought it was a hidden camera prank. Ellen was about to appear and they were about to get a thousand dollars thanks to you know, snapfish.

Yes exactly, and so similar, I had the opportunity to do a random act of kindness and shout someone's lunch lovely yeap. So you know how, when you're on the flight itself, if they bring around the snack cart obviously water, tea and coffee, that's complimentary, but they've also got the menu and you can order snacks and stuff and pay for.

That use your own money.

Yep. Yeah. So there was an old lady sitting next to me and she was ordering up a fucking feast like she was going hand. She got a like chicken and let a sandwich, a banana bread, some pring gorsel, little can of lemonade. She was loving it. And then she pulls out her purse to try and pay for the snacks on board, right, and they said, oh, I'm so sorry. We only do card.

Oh.

And so she pulls out the iPhone and tries to do the Apple Pay, yeah, pay for it, which kind of shocked me, by the way, because I'm like, if you're carrying coins, I did not expect her to be advanced enough with technology to have Apple Pay. O.

I know where this is going on.

That really shocks me.

I've been in a similar situation.

Yeah, have you.

Yeah, this is terrible yep.

And so they said to her, sorry, ma'am, we also don't do Apple Pay. We don't do cash or Apple Pay. The only option is a physical card. Yes, So she couldn't pay for a food and I felt so bad for it.

Was it already on her trade table, like I they already put a bana bread and a print.

H No, they hadn't handed it over, but they were dangling it in front of her. It was on the tray but still on the WHEELI thing. Yeah, gathered it all together at the payment step. That's where she had to hurt it. She only had cash or Apple pay.

This is so awkward.

Everyone's standing in the galley and people are trying to get to the bathroom. It's very stressful.

Oh, I have so much to say about that. That's a whole other fucking rand by the way. Yeah, and so, because I'm a genius, I knew from having made this mistake pry that yes, they only accept physical cards on the plane when you want to buy a snack.

Yes.

And so right as I was about to check my suitcase in you know how you have the self check in thing for your suitcase. It's on the conveyor belt. It's literally about to go. And then I went, oh shit, fuck, that's all right, I need my physical card. So I reached in. I knew where the wallet was. It was in that pocket on the lead of the suitcase. You know where you put your dirty underas easy access. Yeah,

Oh no?

Oh no, I grabbed the wrong card out of the walet?

Oh fuck? Oh no?

So then how did you tell Mavis that you did you break it to her that she wasn't getting the naanty bread?

Well, it was pretty fucking obvious. Everyone saw it. I pulled it out of my backpack and the flight attendant's there. She's there, and we're like, oh, actually no, I'm so sorry, Mavis. I really thought I had my physical card. I just grabbed it out of the wall that didn't check in the rush of my bag on the conveyor belt. I just grabbed what I thought was my card. I thought it was in that slot and chucked it in my pocket.

Do you build banana bread?

Well, actually, the flying attendant was so humiliated on my behalf that she personally paid for it. She did not card.

She did not she did.

What the fuck the flight attendant because I'm to my rand an active kindness?

Wow, did you have to pay it back? No?

No, the flight attempt was like, honestly I got this.

Oh my god, that is so nice.

That was really nice.

Did you order anything to well?

Now, I couldn't could I didn't have a physical car.

Did Mabos off you a fucking pringle?

No?

Cow, I just I kind of went red and didn't really want to interact with Maybes ever again.

Totally where were you seated? We were the ile middle style? Are you in thes was in the middle?

Yep?

Oh my god. So the poor person on the window, I had to be like these fucking people.

They were asleep, they were dead to the right.

Oh no, that's very stressful.

It was mortifying because I'm like, I get the opportunity to be like a hero right now, and then I fucked it up. It was a med to kick car.

You and I had terrible people. We both had the chance, and it was I tried enough.

I tried. You had the chance and you chose not to know.

In fact, I did it and then I retracted it. Yeah, even worse? Or what's the second? What else happened.

The second one was on stage yep, right, So you know I was talking in the Monday episode about if I don't have my nails well done, then I'm a little bit distracted. Like in my mind, if I've got a beautiful set of like polished, shiny fingernails, all is right in the world. I can conquer the day. Yes, So it was similar to that. Have you noticed You might have even noticed in the studio if I've got

Are you noticing it watching it?

Yeah? Yeah, it was annoying me. And so I was like, right from now on when I do comedy shows, hair up, hair up in the ponytail with a scrunchy. Also, it looks kind of cute, so it works for me, and I find that if I've got the hair up, I'm just a little bit more grounded because I'm not fiddling with it, you know, I'm just a little bit more present, a little bit calm. It just works done. And also there's no opportunity for me to get fucking sweaty on stage if I got the hair out. Sometimes I feel

Okay.

So in that thirty seconds I had to stand by the door with my ear to it and making sure I get the queue right. And so I get that text saying we're good to go, and then I went, fuck me, fuck, I need a time of hair up. Where's my scunchy? Where's my fucking scungy? Yeah, I have my hair out in the green room. And now I didn't know. I kind of lost track of time. I didn't realize I was going to get that text. So

Mitchell, Yeah, this was it a scrunchy or was a hair tie.

It was this exact squnchy that I've got in my hair right now. That's fucking huge, And it was on my wrist. Oh no, And I just didn't think to check there.

You're stressed. You were stressed. I was jet lagged.

I swear the Perth time zone difference is enough to be jet lagged. Oh no.

So that was at a great moment of the show. Though everyone was like, ah ha ha, I was on his wrist.

I mean there was part of me thought that's kind of funny. You couldn't write that. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of funny, but that was also just like wow, that was one of the biggest laughs of the night, and people were laughing at me, you know, like it worked, but I was also feeling like a dickhead.

You know, Midcheery's Midge Cheery. Mitch Comb is a great comic. We spent the night laughing at him. Isn't the review that you wanted from the night?

I can imagine? No, no, wait, did I see that social clip?

What did you do?

And you did another clip?

Oh?

And I saw your spanks clip.

Oh yeah, that was the wardrobe malfunction in Brisbane.

You love like a wardrobe moment, It's very very you.

Oh, I don't love a wardrobe moment. Happened one of those moments that just keeps like repeating in my brain. So what, oh, what a funck?

We did? You put it up in the show? Did it work? Did the confidence boost kick in?

Yeah? I tied it up then and there and then we were good to go. Do you ever have those moments there where it just repeats in your mind and you're like mortified, and sometimes if you remember it, you just go ooh, nap, oh my god, shut that down. I don't want to think about it.

Oh you know what I said on the air.

I was interviewing Marshal Heins the other day and I asked her if she was grood, if she was one. I wanted to know if she was great or good. I'm like, are you're great, marsh Up? But I'm like, that doesn't sound right.

Are you good?

Marsh Up?

But instead I went, Marsha, are you good? And then she went, honey, you know she's so beautiful, carries on. But then the whole day I'm like.

I fucking said.

I asked Martia Heins, if she's grud? A you are grud like you know when you merge two words together.

Yeah?

Yeah, I was like, cause someone who just speaks at such high volume, and you know me, I don't prep plan any prean see, I do it all the time.

I don't prep. That was my brain going prep and plan. I don't prep nor plan anything. I just speak. So sometimes my brain's like two words just push it.

Together and runs quicker than your mouth one hundred percent.

So I asked Martial Heins if she was g good. Couldn't stop thinking about that.

I've got another like deep seated, embarrassing memory from when I worked here, and every time it pops into my mind, I'd just like, Oh, let that leave your mind. Let's not dwell on that, because it's like I get red thinking about it.

Yeah, you know what I do? Oh do you want to talk about you know?

Should I?

Yeah, fucking do it.

It was like, oh, it was when when mortifying? So this was not long before I left my job here at Kids. I was sitting out there at that desk. Ye, And because I was at that point in my life where I was just a fucking a hot mess, didn't give a shit, and I'd already resigned, I think. So I was sitting there vaping at my desk.

Yeah, of course you cocked out.

But I used to like steal in turn PiZZ vape all the time, and I would vape at the desks really subtly all the time, right, And so at this particular moment, I wasn't paying attention. I had a hit of the vape at my desk. As the boss walks through the content director and he goes, Mitch, no vaping at your desk please. And that's not the mortifying part.

That's quite that's quite respectful.

Yeah, he goes, just keep the vaping for outside. But what came out of my mouth next is the mortifying part. I don't know why this is what word vomited out, but I said to him, oh, Pete, and I did it all the time, so you're gonna have to have a word to him too.

Fuck you, you're a snitch. I know what a dog at totally.

And do you know what happens? He did have a word within turn Pete, and I was like as he walked away, I literally turned to the person that sat next to me at the time, I was like, the fuck, why do I just do that?

It's too much. I just knocked on him, You're a bitch.

To this day, every time that memory pops in, I'm just like, oh, I don't think about it. Don't think about it in like, why the fuck do I say that?

What a piece of shit? The nicotine in your blood. You weren't in control of your life.

I can't believe it's film under the bus and like it just came out before I had a chance to think about it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been there.

I had a experience recently when I was like in the bedroom with someone and the dirty talk was fine in the moment, and then after when you have that post night clarity the things that I was saying, Shakespeare couldn't come up with the tall tale that I spin in the things that I tell someone I'm gonna do to them, I never fucking do.

See. I don't really venture into dirty talk too much because I'm scared of that. It's awful dread afterwards, like what the hell came out of my mouth? No, I can't, I can't know, it's so bad. What did you say? What you say?

I don't want to. I'm we're unlocking now what.

I just like stupid things that you dwell on for no reason because you're mortified, just.

Makes me sick.

And the other person like do they laugh at me?

They thinking this is they seem to like it.

They finish, what did you say?

No? I don't remember, you know. It was just along the line one do you like that? Like you're loving that?

Yeah? X y Z okay.

And it's like, what a dumb thing to say if you get a fucking croissant from a baker to go, you got my fucking croissant, Like, oh god, it's.

Imagine like, oh yeah, you like that? And they went name yes, they would stand it. I don't know how I got in this situation.

Actually, be honest, you're just on top of me. If you weren't, i'd leave.

Yeah.

No, That's why I don't really dabble in dirty talk, because I'm just I don't think i'd be any good at it, and i'd over I don't need four things overthink. Also, when you think Mitchell and Sewan, do you think that's two people that are good at dirty talk both of us?

Absolutely not?

Yeah, no, No. There was one time that, oh god, this is so oversharing. Tell me, I'm gonna have to check if Sean's okay with me leaving this out. There was one time that I let it rip on his chest and you know what he said?

What?

Oh?

Well done?

Oh?

I was like, I was well done.

That to me when I finished, well like, you're a tottle who's just presented a fingerpainting.

Well done.

Someone's getting fingered up? Oh god, is it just me? Make sure you leave a review on your podcast app.

If you don't, you're a little bitch.

Now, if you were listening to last Monday's episode, I'm fucking going to be pushing my memory now, is it one seventy three.

You remember these episode titles love You, I don't, I just don't.

I could be wrong, but I think it was last Monday where I brought to you a moment from the Real Housewives of Sydney. Oh yeah, of course, where I noticed that one of the housewives, Nicole, she was teaching her daughter to cook, and when she said the word cook, it was the shortest syllable ever. Remember this, This is a.

Very basic pasta that I thought I would show you today.

It's very important for a while to learn to cook.

It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook.

And we were obviously just taking the pits out of that. For some reason, we just dwelled on that little detail that she says cook and the really fast syllable.

She cuts the o's out and it's just.

It's singapostrophe k. And so when I first saw that, I kept rewinding it and rewatching it because I found it so funny. Well, episode seven of Housewives came out, so you can imagine I had a fucking feel day when they went to the launch of Chrissy's cookbook. Yes they wrote it, they all do it, they all do.

Yes, it must be a rich white lady thing. It must be the dialect because they.

Have I don't say cookbook weird? Do I with that? Too quick?

You're not a rich white lady.

I just thought you meant Aussie accent. Oh no, no, because I know cook No, they all do have that trippy as and suburbs accent. You know.

Wait, so Chrissy was launching a cook book.

Yes, and they all went and they all.

Have the same issue.

Well no, not all of them, but this was Chrissy, a different housewife, and she also shortens the fuck out of anything with a double low. I recorded it for We have a Listen.

I'm actually surprised you invited Kate.

The whole reason I started this cookbook was because it was about family and friends coming together.

Doesn't matter how Kate behaves, I'm still.

Going to include her.

This whole cookbook idea is that you don't have to be good at cooking to be able to cook. So it says, like, turn nob on, this is what this cookbook's about.

God, it's somehow better.

Actually, I think we wait, we need to get her stop Watch out because Chrissy actually somehow has made it a shorter word.

Wait, I'm going to play them both side by side.

Yeah, so the first time was Innicle.

Okay, so this is Nicle.

This is a very basic pusta that I thought I would show you today.

It's very important for a while to learn to cook.

It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook.

Oh, it's worse.

Yeah, I'm actually surprised you invited Kate.

The whole reason I started this cookbook was because.

That's so funny. I don't know why I find it so funny.

It's got to be a rich person there, it's got to be, because that's fucking that's nuts.

Like this bitch is literally in the field of making food and dare I say cooking? Yes?

And yet she said that like that cookbook that's so funny.

And you know she's donating all the proceeds from her cook book to Ron McDonald house. That isn't it.

Yeah, that's actually very nice. Who's the first lady? Nicole?

Nicole?

I'm just shocked that she was overtook.

It shocks me. Oh my god. Oh anyway, Oh my god, I thought of a stupid one. But I don't know how to say this. This might be hard, Actually, yeah.

It's hard to work it in spin a tall tail. Sometimes giving it good backstory helps.

Yeah, okay, Well I was going for a walk at the dog park the other day and there's a lady walking a dog right in front of me, and the dog just does a shit, oh god, on the path right in front of me. It all happened too quickly. I was looking at my phone, so I didn't see it coming. I literally trod in dog shit and I was like, oh my god, these are brand new joggers. What the fucking now? They're ruined. And the lady was like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about that. I'll buy

Interesting, they're a good pair of Brooks.

What you said that too quick?

The shoe brand Brooks. Oh, it's hard to get an S on there. Yeah, it is nice that the ladies all in the book launch, you think.

Yeah, no, that is nice of them. So I'm this guy you're dating, Yeah, where's this headed? You know you're going to become official? Or is he more of a hooker?

Oh?

I can't say cook, that's hard. Hook can't be sure. It has to be hook up.

Oh yeah, up has to be completely normal hook up.

No, I think it's I think it could be more than a hook up. No, epis that one's too hard.

It's hard.

It could be a little fuck that.

Go.

My brain's fright. Honestly, I am so fucking busy and burnt out at this time of year, Like, don't even ask me to hang out. I've got no spare time. I'm fully booked.

Yeah, and Mitchell, I saw you today. I thought, God, he looks sure.

You know, let me tell you. You know, when I was in Perth, Yeah, yeah, you're right, of course, all over it.

You know.

I told you that the hotel upgraded me to a nicer room because one of the people that works there is a fan, which was really lovely. I had a fucking gorgeous spa bath in this upgrade and room you said that you got, Yeah, yeah, gorgeous, And so I had a quick soak in the spa bath before the show, quick relaxing moment. I had the Jets going football.

That was fun with that, I'm sure, no doubt.

Yeah, and I'm sitting there on my phone, which is a risky move, you know, Yeah, yeah, you're using your phone in the bath, but do it all the time. And then, of course this one fucking time of all times, my bloody dropped it. It slipped out, fell into the spa bar fully submerged. Then because the jets are going, I couldn't fucking find it. Was a bit foggy of it. Oh my god, where's the phone? So by the time I pulled it out, like the phone, there was no saving it. It was put.

Oh no, it was broken, was it?

I think that was a bit too long. I agree you told me to make them back still longer, but I think I'm getting a bit too carried away with it.

I get so stressed. It's like a jump scare. I'm like, the fuck is it coming? My phone's now? You really have me on ten hooks about that entire story. I know we have the long stories, but I've.

Given I'll keep this one short. And see, remember last week because we had those pots of ours on eBay? Remember last week I texted you a photo of me holding the bowl and here you go pop that on eBay? Did you get those eBay listings done for me? And you said, oh, where are the pots?

Yeah?

Did you take them home with you? I didn't have them.

That was stressful and I said, no, I won't have them.

I left them on your desk and I was like, don't tell me you lost the pots. Where did you put them?

Oh my god?

Actually, funny story. Someone took them from the kitchen the cleaner and put them in the dishwasher. Yeah, took them and put them in the dishwasher. Yeah, you know, back to that story that I told about getting lost in the National Park. The guy was really good. He put up with it, you know, like we had good bantering connection. And he was so upset about how that lady treated us. And the only negative like thought, you know when you leave a date and you have negative thoughts, like you

That was a good movie, Thank you.

The story was waning a little.

I had to get it out. Oh fuck, I love that. I love the Housewives. I feel like there'd be more because it has to be the o's that they ad. It's like the vowel syllables, like there'd be a you. I want to keep watching and looking.

I wonder if it has to end with the letter K because cook and book both.

I can't believe how fucked Chrissy is. That's really bad, worse, and she just kept saying it.

I was like, read one, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh my god, yeah, I can't think of any other words.

Well, you know how I'm wanting to move out of home. Yeah. I was at an open house recently because I'm looking at rentals.

You went for a quick look.

Yeah, well we're all quick look and the real estate agent was going, this property, you'll love, Mitchell, i'manna tell me about it. Then when it's got a gorgeous two car garage, a beautiful French style kitchen on sweet pantry, and a reading, I was really excited. I thought I could get into this. Let me have a look, look me in me in love of it. Gosh, there's not many other words.

I'm thinking of a lot. But it has to end with that, because I tried to say hook up and you can't.

Just know you can't up, No, you can't.

Like I was going to say, oh that sounds like a brook.

Yeah, it doesn't work right on that note, shall we go.

Job we leave. I'm so determined now if we think of more, they'll hit us.

I'm sure we'll let you know. But in the meantime, we need to go yeahsty.

One more times hilarious.

I'm actually surprised you invited Kate.

The whole reason I started this cookbook was because it was about family and friends coming together.

Doesn't matter how Kate behaves, I'm still going to include her. This whole cookbook idea is that you.

Don't have to be good at cooking to be able to so it says, like, turn nob on.

This is what this cookbook's about.

You don't overthink things.

Right, so good, so good.

I can't get enough?

Oh can I?

All right, let's go.

Thank you for listening, guys. We' see on Monday.

Mug Toba well, mug member, mug member, A couple of days left. No, it's literally it's day the thirtieth. Oh shit, so tomorrow.

So if you're listening to this the day at drop, yeah, you've got like mire hours left to order us the last these mugs will never be available.

For sale again, exactly. Yeah, last chance you get season five limited run mug.

But also of you don't buy one, I don't mind because it's getting very Oh the admin of filling out these mugs like it's a good problem to have. We're selling heats the fuck poor Mitchell, but happy to do it because it's only for the month.

Correct, a couple of hours left to buy a mug. We love you and we will see you all on Monday.

Catch you then, idiots. Thanks for listening, baby, Yeah?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple.

Of Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment on the end. Oh, you've got to be done before, don't I do? It's three fifty two. Let me make this short and sweet. That's one thing we cannot fucking afford not to do in eighty deep brief is remember ages ago? I'm talking ages ago. Yes, we got a call from Trisha from Canada. I do came on with an is it just you of her own ye, and she told us that she was going to send us some Canadian tooks.

You know, I'm so mad because I knew that one was gonna happen, and I wanted it. I just thought of that, I wanted to do what I wanted to tell it.

She was going to send us tooks, which is for some reason, what they.

Call what we would call the be beanie in Canada and so extra fit because it gets so fucking cold in Canada.

Yeah, exactly. And so she sent that months and months and months ago, and I remember her checking and going have you got them yet? And we were like, no, I don't know. If there was some issue with the postage, maybe it took ages, maybe they got lost, and so.

Full transparency, it did sit in my pigeon hole for about a month before I knew it was there.

Well, this is the thing I said to you, like last week, whatever happened to Tricia's two g are that? And you'll be like, oh, I've got them upstairs now I know. Oh, you just kept forgetting them. Bring it up this poor Tricia woman. If you're listening, yes, we receive them and we're opening. We've got it. We said we would do it live in the show. Poor Jenne's not here for.

Her to be fine. I'm trying to find a Canadian national anthem, but I don't think it exists.

I'm sure they have one, Oh the country, it exists.

No, I met on the on the database here what is Canadian music?

Justin bieber Shanai Twain's Canadian there here we go.

Oh, Canada.

Oh fuck me?

What?

Oh my god, Oh my god, jo.

Wait what she had a note in here explaining which two belongs to which person? But it's not there. It must have fallen out. Oh no, fuck, what are we going to do?

Well, I'm going to Scotland, so I need the thickest one. Can I look show me?

Oh god, look at this one that is Thick's memory. She said that this one's for Jenna. Yeah, a big one that kind of looks like a beret correct a bell? How you say I don't want that one?

Why not?

Because can I see the other ones?

Well, there's this one that has got the Canadian flag on the front. That wouldn't make much sense going to Scotland.

Yeah, and what's the other one?

Same deal? Let me try the try that one that is through to you, because that one doesn't have the flag in it. It's oh, that actually does kind of work for you.

No it doesn't. I look like an idiot.

It's give it a bit tea cozy, but it works.

I like it very Thick. Let me have a look. I'm gonna put mine on two Jesus, it looks very to Beanie suit me. They actually do because your hair pops out at the bottom. Normally beanie's cut off hair, but yours looks great.

Yeah. I can't have my hair done up inside a beanie because you just see this huge hump. People will think I've got some sort of growth underneath the beanie.

I like to pull out the front of my quiff out.

Oh yeah, that that actually works.

Don't you get gray one or the black one? I don't mind, Yeah, cheer I like it. Well, I'm gonna Actually I was thinking I needed to buy a bit. Oh it's too small on my head.

I didn't want to say it, but yeah, that's why I said, maybe you should go for the big baggy beret one. Well, thank you, Twature, if you're listening. We received them and they're fucking adorable. What very lovely.

And here there's our here, there's a little by the looks of it, there's a little treat in there like snap, here.

We have Tweature was also sent to some hickory sticks.

Oh read them out?

What what?

What? What's a hickory stick?

I don't know. It looks like you know the chips that we get here where it's the French fries. It's the really thin chips that you get with the assorted packets, not like actual French fries. I'm talking to the chips, chips like the packet French fries. Oh are you trying to take them off me? Do you want to have first?

You open them?

You open first your Google hickory sticks.

And of course she.

Would have explained it on the note, which has gone a well, which I feel really stupid about. I bet it's in the boot of my car, my hickory.

Sticks eleven fifty nine Hostess hickory sticks.

Oh, oh my god, holy shit? What does that taste like? What does that taste like? Oh? Reminded me if something very specific?

I know, I can already smell it. I'm gonna blow your mind. Cheese and bacon shapes.

Yes, oh my god, it is that.

It's cheese and bacon.

Holy fuck. That is lovely. Wow. Yeah wow, I mentioned cheese and bacon flavored French fries chips. That's what it is. Oh they lovely? Are they Canadian thing?

Baths on your Google crunch much chaste?

Yo? I can only assume that that's why she would have sent her that it's like a uniquely Canadian thing.

Yeah, a Canadian favorite says, Oh.

It's fucking delightful. That is lovely. Are you right with my hickory sticks and my tuk Jenna? What's her name?

Well, what's her name?

Trisha? Trisha?

I just called Adrena. Thank you?

Give them back?

Why'd you put them out an there? Look at you putting them aside with your bag like you're just gonna take them home? Fuck you? What more?

Trisha? Thank you? And if any internationals are listening and you want to send us international treats, please yeah, we'll take what. I just won't say no, Tricia, that's very sweet.

Thank you.

I heard another podcast I listened to.

They were ramping on about pigs like they're like a pink UK lolly and they're like the best thing in the world if.

You're in the UK.

What's a Percy pig? Want to try one? Oh shit, it's Harry Connick Jr. Harry Connick Junior is calling. Look on the phone lines.

Oh is that what I had to go up for? Harry Connor j Well, he's early, he can wait till four.

Fucking Tony'll have to produce a Tony's out there. She'll have to answer the call. Thanks for listening everyone. Thanks Trish.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all so we do. I had so much more to say. Fuck Harry connic Sorry.

We've been silenced by has been celebrity Harry. We can just keep talking.

And if he could hear this on hold and you just called him has been.

He wouldn't be able to no possible way.

How is he calling early? That's rare for a celebrity to be early.

Well, he wouldn't answer. It was his PR people that would then connect him calling. Look at that, Yeah, because that now called Tony my ep to go. Why didn't you answer? And she'll go because you were two minutes early and they'll fight and fight and fight.

Oh god, the Joey is a fraidy.

Isn't it? Lovely and live and fun and entertainment and we'll see you in a week.

Thank you for he's calling mac? Oh shit, let me take it.

Hold on Hello, guys, this is kiss.

Hello, it's Lacy here.

Really good? Can I pop you on hole for two seconds? Do you mind?

Absolutely?

Thanks?

That's fine, mins, no problem, Okay.

Well I've got to go.

Well, that's that done. I had so much more to say in the day to abray.

But I'll just have to save it your silence, Mitchell, you've been gagged gag order again.

All right, let's go.

I gotta go see how goodye is?

It? Just me a podcast by a couple of Miches.

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