#175: Churi Got TRAPPED

Is it just really stood by a couple of mitches. Hell, yeah, yourself for the.

Rude shocks of young adultsthood.

Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or sit on a dick and eat a cake, sit on a deck and eat a cake? Absolutely? If you sit on the cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd have a waste of cake? By sit Nouri and Mitchell Coups? Hello you? Hello? Oh we have different energies. Yeah, we do.

I'm fucking naked today.

Yeah, well listen, I was naked when I finished my national tour. You finished your tour?

Yeah, I mean it sounds really, really dramatic when you say I've just finished a national tour. I just had a long weekend. Really it was two Madelaide shows and a Perth show.

How many pains? How many trips?

I can't even remember. It feels like one hundred.

Of the eye, isn't it? Fucked? Being in airports and being on flights is painful, multiple in a couple of days, the worst thing in the world.

What was the worst thing?

Because I was in Perth for so little time, less than twenty four hours? Yep.

Same when I flew from.

Adelaide to Perth and then the next morning Perth to Sydney. I was in Perth for such a short amount of time that they assumed that Perth was a mere layover and wouldn't give me my bag.

Oh.

They literally put my suitcase behind the thing and were like, yeah.

Yeah, we'll just put that aside for your Sydney flight in the morning. I'm like, no, I need it now. I'm not just camping in the fucking airport. They're like, no idiot would ever come to Perth for twenty four hours or less? Then less? Then naturally did you like Perth? Because I was exactly the same. I think I had eighteen hours in Perth.

Oh how greedy.

It was awful, right selfish, and I loved it. It was really cute. I mean I didn't get the biggest vibe of it. I didn't have much time.

I got there at like two pm, fucked around for an hour, but wrestling for my bag, went to the venue for sound check, went to the hotel for the quickert snap of my life, and then went to the venue. And when I finished my show at like ten pm ish a little bit before or because it was at a gay club. Essentially, I thought I could go downstairs. It was like the Perth equivalent of Imperial. Yeah, so you know, it's like a gay pub.

Cute.

So when I went downstairs, I thought, yeah, I can just kick on have a few drinks. It was all closed, everything closed on a Sunday, and so that was my impression of Perth, just dead nothing on a Saturday night.

Sunday.

Oh yeah, that's yeah.

And then I went to a little walk the next morning, and yes, it was pretty, but I didn't have much time to enjoy myself.

Your shows as well, more than a show, your full Taylor swift to do and meet and greets. You're getting photos with mums and yeah, you're making clay clips.

It's my favorite part. The little meat and greater I.

Think cut, aren't they I really And I love the idiots that went. They send photos in yeah, and they see I so saw some complaints. I didn't want to bring them too your atention, but I'm glad you enjoyed it. With the show's good.

They were really good shows.

I may as well mention this now coming up in episode one seventy six this Wednesday, I'm telling you about two moments during my shows every the weekend that I keeping me up at night. They haunting me because there were two moments where I made a bit of a fuckhead of myself.

Oh really yeah, Oh is it? Is it one the shapewear incident?

No, that was in Bridsbane. That was eighty too.

Oh, because I had a shapewear moment too when I was on stage and I've only just seen them because they sent professional photos. And what happened, Oh my god, my shape. It was just you know when the shapewear that I wear, the skins goes just cuts off just under my nipples. Anyway, I was sweating profusely because I was on stage anxious. Yeah, so like folded down. So it made my top roll way, Yeah, it made.

It worse when it starts to roll. That's not helpful.

Yeah, it rolls down like you know, you get a long sock and you're a kid and you'd get your hand at the top and you'd roll it down. It looks like a down nut. That's exactly what happened.

And I just things that have done that.

Oh and then on Wednesday, trying to make jokes and I look like I've got a whole hoop around my waist. Bad. Okay, so you had two embarrassing moments.

There were two, and I will tell you about them on Wednesday.

Yeah, okay, great one am I talking about Wednesday? Huh, You're very well thought out. I don't even think I can tease what I'm talking about on Wednesday. So I make something up on Wednesday, my surgery announcement.

Announcements.

What if we just did really terrible hooks to see if people would stick around.

And see if they question it? Whatever happened to the surgery announcement.

Mitch and I read the obituaries from the local paper Wednesday. I can't wait. Mitch makes a neutrable a smoothie Wednesday. Guys, you you will not believe the ingredients that he puts in that thing.

I'd be happy to do that. Remember that time milkshakes on the podcast?

God Yes, and people still send us photos of lime milkshakes to this day.

I'm glad they do, so I know where to find them. Although I've still got fucking two leaders, well four leaders in total. I've got the blue Heaven milkshake flavoring and the lime flavoring at the top of my kitchen cup and people ask the other time, what the fuck are they about?

You know what we need to do that we could make Christmas cocktails because it's green. We could make you know, we could do it because.

That's a great call. I'm doing that.

Why don't we do it on one of the last episodes Christmas? Y Yeah, we'll get like Bailey's Yes, the green lime flavoring.

That might be great.

No, No, I'm thinking I know where your heads at. And then we just had peppermint, and then it's peppermint. It's Kenny. Hello, it's true. Just put a can, so it's your Christmas cocktail's haer feet Blue is going to be hard. I mean, there's nothing blue about Christmas. Oh post Christmas depression cocktail the other day after Christmas. That's my mom My. Mum is always so depressed after Christmas.

No, it's not necessarily depression. I just feel like everyone has that weird headspace between Christmas and New Years where they're like, what's going on?

Oh my god? That is so smart hat Like I'm trying to brand the cocktail. This is the cocktail for that like purgatory five day period between Christmas and New Year, the christ a word for that or that period. Yeah, hell, I hate it. Actually I kind of love it me too. Actually, there's no it's like the purge.

I'd love to be in one of those phases right now where this is like no thoughts required, chill please huh. When I got back from Perth, I went to bed that night at my place and I started to feel the full body aches and pains coming on over and I was like, this feels familiar.

Yep, this feels like COVID. Yeah.

I did a test the next morning and it was negative, and I I thought that can't be right. I'll do another test that was also negative. And is it weird that I was quite disappointed?

Well, you saw the week that I had. I had a week of bliss exactly.

It's been bed for eight days because if you've got COVID, people leave you the fuck alive.

They do.

It's a valid excuse to get out of commitments and whatever. Whereas this week I really could have done with that. But oh, everyone's been nagging me this week so much to do.

A sad story. And this is true. I got the new iPhone in the middle of having that, so sad, no, no, no, no, it's context. I didn't get the fifteen promacs, so why it's beautiful? And I wasn't getting any messages after and I'm like, I need to go talk to a genius. Something's wrong. And there was nothing wrong. No one just cared for me. Oh no, I was talking to me. None of my apps were going off. I'm my notifications must have been turned off. No, we're all on. Just

It sounds so unrelatable.

You can relate, can't you.

No, I know what you're talking about, but I don't really rely on that for dapamne to be honest.

Oh interesting, right, Yeah, I'm fucked in the head. All right, Welcome to Is It Just Me? Everyone? We start every show with an is it just me? Something We've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I do not know mitches and I don't want to.

We've got one age today, I've got to say I'm feeling tired and cranky, so I'm leaning into that.

I think that's probably for the best now because we're technically in a relationship. I'm your longest relationship.

Yes, that's true. Do you want to part from like siblings and parents?

Yes? Yeah, but yeah non family relationship yeah, okay. And we see each other and we talk at the same length as couples and intimacy. We talk about very intimate things. I know. If that's true.

We see each other once a week.

How many other friends have you consistently seen every week for five years?

That's true?

True? Got me there?

Ya?

Do you want me to lift you up? Or do I mean to be at your level?

For what?

Like, because you're like, I'm feeling grumpy. Do you want me to try? And like, am I going to be going?

You know that'll make me more grumpy?

All right?

No? No, after five years, you'd think you'd know. Okay, why pushes me button? I went on a date and it was I think it was. It was a perfect me date. But I think it's your date from hell. That's my angel. Yeah, perfect from its jury awful for coombs? Okay, yeah, yeah, do you want me to kick things off? Do you know you start? Because yeah, I'm still recovering from mine. I think the police are still after me.

What the fuck did you do?

Oh?

Yeah, all right, it's too soon.

You ready, Yeah, let's go.

Is it just me?

Is the sun so fucking disruptive?

Wait? Are you talking as if you're a parent, You're talking about your squish mellow? The sun, honey, the sun in the sky? Oh what's it done to you?

It's just disruptive, isn't it.

No, we kind of need it. It's very important. It burns you, It fades your fucking blankets. Yep, yep, yes, spf be very important.

I literally changed my bedding the other day and one of my blankets is just faded on one side because it's the side of the bed that catches a bit of sun.

Wait, like on your bed it gets again?

Yes, And I was like, oh fuck that.

But the worst thing is that if I want to watch television during the day, I have to convert my house into some sort of doomsday prepper bunker. Yeah, no light whatsoever. And yet I can still see my reflection on the screen. What the fuck's up with that? Why is my TV so dull?

I agree with you. We've reached a point in technology that we need to be able to bump it up. You know, I hate the sun when the sun shines on your iPhone and your iPhone goes oh, you know, I'm going to do it to combat this. I'm going to pull brightness all the way down to zero. I won the opposite bump that ship up. The Apple have it wrong. You know, when you're on a walk and the sun is beaming on your phone, it goes pull pulls that. It doesn't make sense.

I think I might have turned that setting off because it was an me you turn that off?

I think, so, oh my.

God, I can do that after what is it call?

It's like the transition lenses that people wear, you know, the glasses that convert to sunglasses in the sun. But sometimes they'd come back from recess and that would stay in sunglass form for quite sometime.

My men would do that, and she'd like bump into the kitchen cupboard because it just takes about five minutes to adjust from being sunglasses. That's not good technology. My Apple watch does it sometimes. If I'm out at lunch and then I go to check the time. You just don't know the time. It's pit black. That's the whole point over the Apple Watch, is it not? Fuck the sun? Fuck the sun? Do you know what else?

I had my first reunion hairdressing appointment with Franco the other day.

Oh my god.

Yeah, he gave me a hug. It was so nice, oh bless.

And so I was with him and I said, I need to ask you about heat damage. I'm just noticing my hair is getting a little frizzy. And he goes, oh, well, do you put heat protector on before you style it with some sort of heating product the dice and or the hair dry whatever. And I said, yes, always, I always do. And he goes, do you put heat protector spray before you go outside? I was like, no, why the fuck better do that? He goes, oh, well, the sun can actually do that. It can damage your hair

But gorgeous locks. Fuck, you're just trying to do an fb W and God forbid, the sun is out to get you exactly. Wait, I don't realize the son could cook your hair. It's too late. Now I'm gonna it's cooked my face. I've got that many more freckles since being out in the sun walking. I love the sun. Yeah, the sun just good for something? No, I agree, you know what? Okay, we're all about contrast. What about this? You're a nice sit in the sun, like in spring,

I can fuck with that. Yes, yeah, a bit of heat from the sun is here, I can fuck with yep.

Okay, that's about it. That the only pros I can think of.

I'm sure I could think of more, but I'm just pissed off of the TV situation. That's what does my head in. I've realized the worst app of them all, like all the streaming apps, the worst one for trying to watch TV during the day. I'm happy for it to go on record. Amazon Prime Video shark as fuck.

Seriously, what do you mean that? Like the user interface is dark?

Well, if you're trying to watch the show on Amazon Prime, it seems to be darker than every other streaming all right, I get you. And so I can't watch frickin' Deadlock during the day. I had to start using my Apple TV to watch it instead of just the built in app on my TV because for some reason, Apple TV is just slightly brighter same platforms. Amazon Prime is just slightly brighter on the Apple TV, and I've cranked the brightness all the fucking way up.

But I shouldn't have to. I should just be able to see it. I'm so sorry. I just had that. I just felt like I was talking to my grandmother. I've had the exact same conversation with Alma.

Is that not annoying?

Though?

Trying to watch television during the day and it's really dark?

It is? It is? It definitely is. It's very hard. My Miday movies have not been the same. Well it's been on them, No, I completely agree, But even Free.

To Wear I think that's fine. There's no glare issues there it's just streaming.

Oh you think it's just yeah, because the streaming apps are all black, and they've all got the black with the gray. It's very moody.

I'm talking about the actual shows though, Oh god, Like the show's just seemed really dark. Even watching Friends the other day for some reason, it was dark as fuck.

Well that's because Matt just died. So don't be like that that different. Is it just me? You can follow the show online, just search a couple of mitches. If you don't, you're a tighead. Now we need to remind you that it is Mugvember. We are still towards the end of mug.

Yeah, not for long. Mug November is nearly over.

This Thursday is the last day that our mug shop is open. My god, if you want to get our season five tier ear a mug now, it's your fucking chance.

I don't know why when news that our mug shop, I'm picturing a touch shop and I'm picturing like a roller and you're the metal roller. Lions that make such a fucking racket when you open them, there's a padlock around them so they can stay locked. Do you know?

It was so depressing by the way side note another travel story, just two of things. Yeah, I have this weird thing where if I'm feeling a bit anxious or whatever, if I have beautiful fingernails, all is right in the world. Oh So, I was feeling a bit nervous about my first show, the Friday night show in Adelaide, and it was like four something PM, and I thought, I'm going to duck down and get some clear nail polish because I have put that on, makes them look all shiny, well done.

I'll be happy. All is good in the world.

I walk down from my hotel room at four fifty eight and I just walked down Rundlemore watching everyone slam those fucking tuch shops shutting down, like everything closes at five, including Coals and Woolworth.

What the fuck out of Lade?

Oh so you didn't get your goss?

I didn't, and I was a wreck.

I'm sure what did you have to do? Did you clean them? Was there a little toiletries kit in the hotel room?

I bought mine with me. Obviously I buffed and shined them. Of course, of course, you look how good they look today.

I was just thinking that really nice.

I was like I may be naked as all fuck, but like hell, I'll have gabbin Ale for me.

I feel great when my hair is on point, like it could be having the world's worst day. But if my hair is perfectly quaffed and I look into reflection, I go, God, that's good head hair. I'm happy. Yeah.

I love having a good hair day that day, so it was all fine, yeah good, but yeah, anyway, by a fucking mug, while you've got the chance, go.

And do it. Where you can buy a normal mug, you can buy a signed mug. Mitch and I hand signed these mugs. We've got a down pat. Mitch opens the box. I signed mine. It dries. He signs his back in box. Jenna's there, machine, you really are? Oh. Speaking of merchandise available, our eBay listings are in full swing. Our auction, our auction. Yes, that was a gavel. That was our auctioneer, July. How's the auction going, Julie, thank you. She doesn't speak.

So we're selling the pots that we made as part of our pottery class during hobby Hunt, and we've popped the one eBay again. We should clarify the money goes to a charity of a winner's choice, not the same with our actual merch mugs we're selling.

That goes to us. But I take that and we're going to Prior de Louse on a holiday together. Now, let me tell you, I'm fucking I don't know it's my because it's so funny to say it's your go to. Well, that's where Maddi mcamon went me. I know.

That's why I'm like, why does he keep glamorizing it?

It's really been time. I'll change it, but it needs to be another because it's so funny. Turks and cacos, that's my new one.

Who the fuck's that?

I don't know, but Brittany talks about it. Britney spears, Oh you want to do? It's got trucks and tecos, Turks and cacos.

Is that a thing?

Google it? How do I spell it? T u r ks, oh and cacos. I think it's in like the Maldives, a British overseas territories southeast of the Bahamas, and they look like and lovely. Yeah, they're gorgeous turks and cacos. Right, I will go to my new one.

Yeah, turks and cacos.

That's fine, with your merch money these mugs, we're going to turks and caicos. But no, the ceramics handmade by Combs and jury h a handmaid, one of a kind. Money goes to your charity. I'm miffed because you're currently in the lead of the of the auction. Seriously, I wondered which one was going to be worth more. Well, let me run you through the stats. Can I also just say, and I'm not being biased here, my my mug is way more universal than your bullshit bowl. How on earth do you figure that?

When do you use a bowl cereal dinner daily? I'm always running out. They're always in the dishwasher.

Noah, that's exactly right. Stay stay in the dishwasher. Mug drinks any sort of liquid. You can have coffee, you can have a shot, you can have a wine from that thing. You could put dips, you could put olids.

You you can't have a wine and a mug.

They feel wrong, but you could you could.

It'd feel wrong.

Walk you have a wine in a bowl? Well, I don't.

See why not?

Are your logic? If I know anything about our listeners, it's that they're fucking alcoholics. My mug is better, and it's losing the bids yours currently.

Mitchell, your argument about mugs being more practical might be valid if your mug wasn't a fucking choed mug like you snapped the clay while you were making the pots. So it's like a scareg of a mug. It's not a fully ledged mug. It's really quite small, and I always use my oversized coffee cup. I don't care about all the others I've got. I prefer the over sized one.

I'm not gonna lie to you. You couldn't have an ice latte in this thing because you'd put four ice cubes in it, you'd get no milk. It would not work. So mine's more for Tapa.

I've already established it's a Ramiican.

It's not a ramiicac fucking is. It's not a fake here, don't know, don't rubbish my my piece. Anyway, you're winning by about forty five dollars at all, and good for you. Yeah, how much forty five dollars you're winning?

No, it's in like how much entital It'll change by the time the episode's out.

But I'm curious. Two hundred and fifteen oh wow. Yeah, and I'm one seventy five got two fifteen.

That's I did not expect that.

Holy shit. We still have over a week at the time of recording. You know, someone messaged me though and said, Hi, I've accidentally been a thousand dollars on Coobs's mug. What do I do? And I said, own it, fucking deal with it. And now I did help her out and she canceled her bid. Ah, but it didn't show us a thousand because we'll put it up to that's like your max bid. So if anyone else.

Bids before, like it automatically.

It bumps you up by like five dollars. So you're like, you just keep winning until someone else bids above a thousand. Oh far, it's like auto bid. Yeah, it's very cool, but I help them cancel it.

So but now people can go rig it. If they know people have got auto bid set, they'll just go and start punching it up.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't like that.

No way, no dummy bidding, idiot. No, our auction is in full swing game on mold.

How long is it? When does the close? How long have people got left to bid?

The afternoon of Tuesday, the twenty eighth is when ith shit.

Okay, so if you're hearing this episode the day it comes out of the Monday, fucking get bitten.

Yeah, you've got to ge bidding. You've got twenty four hours to bid and win a piece of igym history. And you know what, I'll put something. I'll put a surprise guest, surprise gift in my surprise guest, just a rat just to just rat it to it.

It's guy SEBASTIONI an Aramican.

How good will he'd fit? He's tiny, famously very short, is it? Yes, Angels brought me here?

Did you see that? He re released Angels brought me here?

And he called it angels brought me here again?

That kind of sounds like it's fed up with the situation. He's like, ah, angels brought me here again? Fuck sakes of this keep happening. It's like angels layoff.

And you order an uber to a location that's dropped you off in the wrong spot more than once. Yeah, I think you ever brought me here again? Poor guy. Anyway, mugs available for Mugvember and you can go and bid. You can go and bid on our ceramics.

Are you ready?

For your origin. I'm not sure if I'm ready today.

It's gonna have to be one of those days where I stand up losing it Mike, just to kind of keep me more alert.

Faden already, Jee, you have such confidence in your co host, You're like, fuck, he's about to talk for it. I don't know what I'm like period of time. I mean, I already feel more alert now than i'm standing. All right, good, so I'm doing stand up.

How are we feeling tonight?

Terrible? Let's let's go, Bradley.

Is it just me.

Just being trapped on a date for three hours? Sound like your idea of a personal hell or heaven depends on the person.

If you're hating it and you're trying to wrap it up, and you maybe even pulling that trick where you get a friend to text you and you're like, wait can you call me and betaend there's an emergency if you're trapped there?

Fuck that? What if you are in an emergency with that date? And what if there is no phone service?

Okay, that doesn't sound right. That's what happened to me, although it could make you closer, so well, it did, and I loved it. I was like my dream situation. You know, I love the escape room. I love the codependency. I'm like, oh, we have to work together to get out of a problem.

This is an actual escape room.

No, no, no, this is a real life escape room. This is the same guy. We've been dating for a while and now he's very cute and what we wanted to do is that tin fish date night? Have you? I think I spoke about it on the podcast. I think I've done one before. It's a TikTok trend where you get different tin fish and you just eat them with bread and butter and cheese. It's very yourrobat. It doesn't

Let's make you in fucking weird food you were telling it's about, like, I'm done? Was it the bags that you telling us about? It is literally it's laber fried.

Oh, spice bag, spice bag A look, you can swipe it. Have you seen the guy? You can swipe? Come on, describe what you're seeing. There's canned mussels in pesto, salce, fucking platter, date sugar ConA no, but what they're all tin cans of food? I see see I was picturing tuna on bread. Well, there's sardines there and there's anchovies. OK, more appetizing than see. Here's Polish Portuguese and I am Dutch, very white, so I love a canned salty food. So

Huh.

And when we get there to daytime, no other cars are there. We park in right at the front, right near the boomgate. Perfect. We walk to the cliffs, We have our date. Date's great, We have the tin fish and it gets to like nine point thirty at night and it's pitch black. Yeah, and you kind of lose track of time because there's no city lights. There's no streets.

They don't have street lights in national parks, I'd imagine none.

And it's dead quiet, there's no other people around. It's late, like we got to go. So we get we pack up our stuff. It's like five past ten. We're walking back to the car. It's a ten minute walk full of fish like holding hands, you know, it's been a cute day. We get to the car park. They've locked it up. Oh dear, it's a locked up car park. I see.

Yeah, there would have been a sign telling you when the car park closes, but no doubt you didn't fucking read that.

It was ten o'clock, classic ten o'clock. In fact, it was so comical we could did they close early because he said it was nine nine fifty by the time we decided to leave. We got back at five past ten. I shit you. We could see the southerland Shire Council, a little Toyota Jimney drive and off into the sunset up the hill like it had just locked the gate. Well in your bloody hot girl, walk here, Why don't you sprint? Come back? Not that fit I was. I

You know, how far away do you live, Like worst case scenario, you leave your car there overnight. It's not like you're in jail. You can jump over the gate. You just come back and get your car the next day.

It was Dad's car, my dad's car, because Dad's got a nice BMW and I kind of want to do a date.

Think that's your car.

No, he does. I'm not that dumb. No, I'm not that dumb. No. No. And we were stuck in there, and I thought, no worries. There's a number on the sign that says call to get gate unlocked at any time.

Oh well, then you fucking sweet.

So I said, get my phone out. No service And I go, I go, hey, you know date, get your phone me with optors. Yeah, and we had a week for us, not a good time to be optists. He gets his phone out also with optors. No service. So you go for a little walk around the car, puck to find service, pitch back, no.

Street lights, torches on, Okay.

No service anywhere. Then a man appears our savior out of nowhere. He's walking his labrador and he goes, boys, you're locked in? Are you? I could see you from my balcony. Oh what a sweetheart. He goes, this is creep. No, he had two little fucking puffs. He's like, are you lost? I might No, he's just twenty one. It does look weird, but I'm not. There's nothing wrong here, and he goes, this happens all the time. I see it from my balcony.

I wouldn't know what that means.

Did I? He disappears into the shrubbery and I go, what the Fuck's The day? I'm with is like, I kind of love this. This is like a Scooby Doo mystery. We have to solve it together. Yeah, you could look at.

It that way, but then also I'd be there like, what if I need to piss?

What do we do?

No?

No, we're pissing the bush would be fine, but you know not bar Barrack like you. So we walk up this up these stairs and we're looking at houses. What the fuck is a Federation style house to you?

I googled Federation style house and it's this giving packed the rafters energy?

Yeah, and that what that means?

Yeah, Mitchell em we're in the Royal National Park. Every fucking house and it's a Federation style house. So we have to roll the dice. We walk up a set of stairs for about five minutes, huffing and puffing. There's a Federation style house on the left, there's one on the right. But we go, this is at the end of the stairs, at the end of the street. We'll just fucking ring the doorbell ten thirty at night on Sunday night.

And did he imply that it was an old lady or did I imagine that?

He said, lady? Ah, problem is it was a ring doorbell. So we walk up to it. He goes, you do it, you do it, you do it.

What do you mean by a ring doorbell?

Like an electronic smart door bum with the camera? Correct? So I press it ten thirty at night. Bong bong boom, bong bong bong floodlights turn on, flash us in the eyes, but you know, like blare us in the eyes. We look at the camera and it goes leave a message. So I got fuck so hi, fum, my name's Mitch. This is x y Z. We got our car locked in the parking lot. We were told you had to key. And as I'm saying this, like I just I can

Did you ever get to speak to her?

Well? We then check our phones. We have phone service. Oh fuck you fine, So I go, you call the you call the council by the way, before.

We move on.

Oh god, can we look up her address and the white pages try and find her number? Like I want to ask this woman, I'll pay her to send me that fucking footage.

Of you on the door. Bel my god, imagine. Well, that was my worry that would be released because while we're on fous no no no, while we're on hold the Southern Shire Council, I shit you not screen door open, So that she was time boys come over here and we go, Oh, the woman at the end of the street, the Federation style house with the key, she's found us. So we run up to the fence because we're at the end of the cul de sac trying to get phone, so we put our head over the fence. She goes,

So this was the woman that you left the message too. Yeah, and she wasn't that old, forty five in.

A dressing gown. One hand, she's got an iPhone. The other hand she got a baseball bat and she took a photo of you. You've got a baseball bat and I go, I'm so sorry. She says, I'm so sorry. Shut the fuck up. I go, Oh, she gus, you patronizing piece of shit. I'm calling the police and we ran like we ran. It was terrified.

Wow, what a grunk that's he's like what I thought, which, don't be getting Keith's cut.

If you don't want to be the go to perth and with the key. Well, my thinking is that perhaps she wasn't the right Federation style house, so she'd ever clarified. I've got the cake, you can forget it. No, she wasn't dangling it in front of her. She had a dressing gown on from you easily could have gotten the wrong house. I think we did.

Any Well, we won't be asking her for the video because she sounds like an awful bitch.

And I don't want her knowing us or who we are. I just don't anyway. On the phone to the council as we ran back down the stairs, phone cut out. No service like it with this.

Shit hole you live in.

It was chaos. It was chaos. So what we end up doing? So we go back to the car, We walk up the hill, we get phone service, We lodge a ticket with the after hours Council.

It's probably many people are manning that desk. Get eleven thirty.

There's one girl.

Oh, there is someone.

There is someone for emergencies only. Yeah, so it's about eleven thirty at night. I'm gotta get up for work at seven. And we finally get hold of them, they go, no worries. We'll contact the security company that closes all the gates. However, it's one guy that does all the gates in the Royal National Park. There is seventy six park gates, so he's currently walking around closing them. Once he's done, he will come back and open the gate.

Why do they even lock the gates?

Why is that? The prior don't know. It makes no sense. I don't make any sense. So anyway, we sat there face to face for three hours. He arrived at quarter past one. Oh my god, why didn't you just uber home because it was Dad's car. Dad needed the car. His twenty one year old parents like where are you? Have you been killed? Have you been kidnapped? He had no phone service.

One time opened the gates seven am. Well then you could have just gotten your father's car at seven back.

First thing.

It was one of those things that was like we'd come this far, he held, abuse was stressful.

A gobby in the bush doesn't go astray either.

That's the thing that was like normally when you're in that situation, like it's kind of like all sexy. I had no sex dribe. I was so anxious, Like I couldn't even have any fun in the car.

Oh, then that's not fun.

He was saying. It's like an adventure. It's like a real life escape room. It was so fun.

But I would have called it quits much earlier, probably after the bow scabby bitch with a camera in my face. That would have been like, let's call it a night. Actually, I was so upset. I was so shaken. But you know when you can't like voice it until you're safe and out. We sped up that street once the gates are opened at one thirty one fifteen and then they all hit.

Us like that fucking bitch. We want to get it, but we didn't have the goal to talk about it. I'm happy to help with the egging. I can get her identity and I can send it out. But she was all identity. Yeah, how do you have that? I could get it. Oh, I've got contact. Should be prank caller as dot. No.

If we're going to bring back the prank calls for anyone, yeah, it's going to be this bitch.

Yeah.

Question, could you find her address on a map? Because you know where you went? I could do it right. You want to get it up right now? Yes, I won't say it, but if I checked the White Pages with that address, it could come up the number.

My god, you're a genius. Okay, let's do it. Can you see that on the screen? Yes?

Okay, And then you can call us dot and just be like, do you have the key for the National Park? What can DOT have left in there? Her dentures fell out?

Yeah, her dentist fell out in the in the in the Royal National Park.

You have to sound toothless the whole time.

Wait, does the Yellow Pages still work?

Yeah? They don't have physical phone books unless you request one. You know how that you used to send them out to literally everywhere. Yes, they've still got a website.

So here we were, Mitchell ready like in this Royal National Park here, I need to work it out. So we ran up here. See there the stairs that I was talking about. I see, he said, that's the end of the car park. He went, walk up the stairs and it's the first house here.

That's it there, let me get the little yellow No, it's the first Federation style house.

Correct when you're wrong.

Here we go. I've got genuine PTSD Mitchell. That is the ring doorbell right there is it? Look that's where I start. Actually the doorbell.

Oh my god, oh.

My god, scares me. Imagine that at ten thirty at night, middle of nowhere, no phone service. That's the alley we walked up. See those stairs, that's where we walked up.

Oh, I see.

We walked over and she gave it to me via the doorbell. So that's the odd thing.

So she was leaning over that fence.

When she came out. Yeah, so that number that street, it's not it's not the only public I've got it. It's that streak you've seen that.

Yeah, yeah, I've got it. Can you search by address on fucking white pages? Hang on, they might not have a home phone. It makes you fucking search by surname and initial on.

The market page. I can't go to work the address. Fuck well, I have PTSD quite simply looking at that.

Oh fuck me, here we go.

What that address is actually registered as a business?

Oh no, what business?

I'm not gonna say.

Oh can you tell me? You bleep it out? Fuck?

And they've got a mobile number attached to it.

What do I call and say? That's up to you?

All of a sudden, every reason that we quit doing prank calls is coming rushing back.

Maybe we shouldn't.

We have canceled prank calls on this show. Can I just say? It was myself a gay man with another gay man lost in the middle of the night.

It's the other gay man.

Oh, the goal was on a date with Oh, I thought you said myself, comma a game man and.

Another gay man.

Three.

Oh, they're shaking things up. We know we're not gonna be very old fashioned.

I'm a gay man. No, no, no, And like we went. I was so sweet on this message and we needed help. We were trapped, and she was instantly on the defensive, on the back foot, and it was she was so rude, like she was really really rude to us, And I said, I'm so sorry for waking you, et cetera, et cetera. I don't think I want to add fuel to the fire unless I just call her cough and hang up, like that'll happen. What's the number? And we're calling off.

The kiss familine, so don't put it on holds? Will hear kiss?

Shit? You're right? Hell, hell's a rush jokey wow, Like it serves her right. I got her good like she was twelve. Maybe that was the door I answer. You know, when you answered your phone growing up as a kid, Hello Michelle speaking.

I'd always say hello me to the speaking all the same mom, it's honey, jolly. Now when I go home, I refused the man to the home phone, and I don't give it is Mitchell.

I've got adrenaline, I have pets. I need to get that fucking photo of her house off my screen. She sounds like.

She's obsessive enough that she might track where that phone call came from and then absolutely escalate it, take it to the cops or whatever.

Perhaps she would have actually escalated that because think about it from her perspective, ten thirty at night, this six foot three man with a terrible mustache. But glare have you seen those ring camera footage videos that have gone viral on ten?

Not flattering?

No, it's a fish eye lands black and white. The led light shines in your eyes. You always look like an alien. And I was leaning in. It wouldn't have been. It would have been terrifying for her. So did you ever find the correct house where the woman does have the key?

No?

And me and me and my date, we think theorizing that the guy from the balcony was just fucking with us. He could have been, because it was why would he do that? Because it sat the way he said it sounded like he was in a Scooby Do film. He was like, boys, I've seen this before. Puffs on a fucking pipe. Then he goes, you must find the woman with the key in the Federation house above the stairs on the right. Like it sounded like a riddle, like it was annoying.

I wouldn't have bothered with that. In answer to your question, does that sound like my nightmare or my dream nightmare? I wouldn't have pigasted that far. If I couldn't get ahold of the council to come unlocker, I wouldn't have been going knocking on random bitches doors. I would it have been like, I'll get the car in the morning, na.

Na see, I'm solution orientated.

And then we saw am I usually and I think that what I said is a solution go home and pick it up in the morning.

There fair. But you know what it did force us to do sit in the car with some music on and just like chat. It was nice? Is that all? Yeah? So I was in my dad's car. I've got nothing but respect from Mark Chury.

Oh of course, yes, does he listen?

He doesn't know how he listens to when he's on. Okay, so I won't tell him if you tell me what actually happened in the car. We didn't. We didn't do anything in the car, all right, Mitchell. I'm six foot three, I drive a thirty. Get in the back of my carton five the seats downd getting the boot. How I struggle in a bed, Mitchell, Let alone a hatchback? No anyway, all right, everyone, let's go, let's get out of it. Alright. Oh what a week. Maybe by Wednesday we'll have calmed down,

She's done that before she has.

She just wandered in me. Then we get in trouble. They go, let Jenna speak, guys. Sometimes she's just disassociated.

People said, let Jenna speak.

They wanted her to have her on fucking edge. I remember we had to do it. That's true. We had to do it a vote two weeks ago. Anyway, we'll see you guys. Suit. Hey, I've noticed influxive reviews, very nice five star reviews. Yeah, I have. I was reading when I had COVID.

I was looking through them because you weren't getting any dms about the hot girl walks.

So you were looking at our podcast reviews for your Day for men hit.

I get it, I get it. I'm so do you like a fucking book?

Stop?

Oh my god, I forgot to mention coming up on our Wednesday episode, another Real Housewives of Sydney mispronunciation of sorts. Oh wow, good remember how last week I observed it when they say the word, they make it the shortest syllable ever.

They remove the o's. Yeah, it's just like see apostrophe k interesting gotten worth, So she's not off the hook.

Now she's out of the there's another one, brilliant. I'll save that for Wednesday, though.

Yeah, please do it all right, We'll see you then, guys. Five star review. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Mug Vember Go, buy a mug, Last Chance Almost Yes, see you on Wednesday, Catch you soon, Love you idiots? Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've got to follow on your podcast.

Welcome to Ady d Brief. This is our secret segment on the end of the show.

Is not done. We keep talking shit here, nothing's planned.

Are you sound like a fly? Attended that the show? He's not done. Remain in your seats. The show is not done. I tried to float with the flight attendant on a recent trip. Yeah, did not go down.

Well why not?

Just like wasn't in the mood Like he was clearly gay and I clearly am. And I was in the aisle row in the exit seat, so he was giving me like the demonstration on the exit row, and he was doing the the rigmarole of like this is how I inflate the jacket and then the seat belt whatever, and he was like right next to me, and he looked at me and like kind of like that with that gay knowing smile, like high poof. I was like

He was like we've had our mind.

Move on.

I was like trying to be cute and he's like, shut the fuck up. I'm oh sorry.

If push came to shove and you're in the emergency row where you may be required to persist in the event of an evacuation, yeah, is the any penalty for not actually assisting? If I was in that row and we were actually in an emergency, I'd be like, fucking, you're on your right and I don't want to be trusted with this.

Na my fight off. Flight would kick in and I would fight.

But would you get in trouble for not assisting?

Yeah, yes you would. I think they'd be penalties, like are fine, Yeah, sure, we'd be dead.

No, but I just look at someone else in the exit round and go, fucking you're on it, Tom, I don't want to do this.

Well. I remember I was on a I can't remember where I was going, but there was an old couple and they booked the exit row right for the leg room, and I was coming back from Fiji, and I sat on the aisle and they came up. The flight attender came up and went, sorry, guys, this is very awkward. We understand that you've paid, but we are going to have to remove you from this sea right because they were like, you'd be hopeless. I remember you're telling me that.

I'd be like, guys, we're operating on the assumption that there won't be an emergency and the kid just fucking led a city one, then we'll let someone else step.

Up, and they were so sweet. The woman was reading the Alchemist and the husband had his head and his kindle, and I'm like, I'll do the heavy lifting. Let them stay. But then we did hit Rocky Turby on some I think, fuck, they got rid of the oldies.

So they actually got rid of them in the end.

Ye they had to move and they're like, we demand a refund, and it was a whole that's awful.

I would I would demand the refund too.

Even then I got the full row, so I just got to lie down. It was amazing. It worked out well for me.

That would be lovely.

Actually, oh got youa nothing like a foll I remember once I flew back from LA and had a middle row of four free and I had a full bed.

Oh wow.

Yeah. Can I just say, by the way, I just had a quick glance.

Into that video wish is my command? Got rugsniffing. That's on our Instagram.

It's so well done.

I'd just had a quick glance at that, and the comment is like, I'm sorry incest.

Yeah, look, and someone post it in our group too.

Because instead of saying incense, I said, oh, they're banning beautiful incest in here.

Yes, And it's like, that's got to be.

The tenth time I've pulled this gag where it's confidently say incest just for the reaction.

People four for it every time.

Which it still does confuse me to be perfectly honest with you.

I thought you were going along with it, but if you never correct me.

I am no, I am, I get it, but I also am just so aware that other people won't.

But it's funny, That's what I find funny about it. Just like all the people going, sorry, did you just say incest? I'm like, yes, yes I did.

No, I'd have never acknowledged it. I do it all the time.

Someone just commented incest. It's like, yes, incest.

I saw it in the Facebook group. Two people like, is this an inside joke.

I'm not aware of. Clearly, it's that inside that you're not even cotton on. I do it often. I say incest instead of incense and just we brush it under the count.

Is it all to do with that meme of the woman? Yeah, it just put It's like a snapchat. It's a photo of incense, but the snapchat text is incest or.

I love the smell of incense. Yeah, it's reference to that. I thought it's very fucking niche. God, if you know you know?

Nah exactly? I wait, I wait, k yeah, I've just had like an urge come over me. I've searched doorbell camera footage, two men and like there's so there's so many police posts about it, Like I'm so scared it's gonna show up, Like I genuinely am paranoid that it's going to appear or I'm going to be tagged.

You didn't do anything illegal?

No, I know, if anything, it'd be in like no, the Cranulla Shy community Facebook grip are you in that?

Yep? I got to say.

There is one particular roving report that I want roving report to Oscar to do and it relates to a very big drama in my community Facebook.

What's happen?

I'm not telling you.

I'm waiting until next time we record the show from my laundrym oh, so I can just get him to duck downstairs.

We'll be at the scene of the crime.

But oh my god, it has been the most gripping saga in my local community Facebook group.

It is fucking wide.

What are you going to tell you'll tell us at one point, of course, when I get the report. Yeah yeah, lovely, yeah yeah, see the Sutherlan Shi is a lovely place, but it is it's wild, like it's white people with old money with nothing but privilege and time to complain about fucking things. There is even like on the gay scene. Like I've deleted Grinder, but when I was on Grinder for people four people that I that I was in my realm of someone that I would I would go on a date with.

You know how I told you that I've got that blank Grinder profile, Yeah, that I never used and never actually mesage trivial on there. I just sometimes out of curiosity. I actually didn't do it over the weekend, but for example, I might have gone to Adelaide. I mean, like I wondered what sort of people are on Grinder in Adelaide. I want to see who the closest person is someone a way you want to table. Yeah, sometimes I just might

I was like, Oh, that's actually really sad, I know. I was like, wow, they really just hit on a blank profile. No one usually fucks with a blank profile in the city. They're like face pick or no talk you know. Oh my god, your grinder came up for me. How did you know it was mine? Now? Because a screenshot of it. Because I got a new phone and all my apps were that fucked up. So I searched grinder and it came up with your face. I can find it right now, really showing me twenty you were

Look, yeah that was a kid.

Twenty four, seventy four killers. What are you now?

Huh?

What are you now? You'd be less than that now, wouldn't you. Yeah, I'm not a same a way. Oh sorry, sorry, it's a new We're in a new air. Yeah. Yeah.

More importantly, can I show you? Speaking of Facebook groups, I just had a quick look.

There's a in my hometown. There's a Parks Forbes thumbs up thumbs down group. What does that mean?

Well, if they're praising someone, they'll say thumbs up to the lady at Cole's. He helped me carry my bags to my car. What a great woman. But if they're bitching, they'll say thumbs down to Forbes car Lovers blah blah blah, worst car was ever. Yeah, thumbs up to Steal Technology today, help me with an email scam.

There you go. I'm trying to find some juicy shit.

Keep going. I'm going to go to Cornelis like the community group and see what they're bitching about today.

Yeah, see if you're in there.

Thumbs up to Terry Brothers Carpet Court Forbes for a great job. You did a wonderful job on my floor.

That's nice. What what's the point? Oh, here we go? What's the point?

A big thumbs down to KFC forb Oh Yeah, I didn't even know there was a KFC in for what's happening?

Went there this?

This is going to be hard to read. There's no punctuation, no grammar. All right, Big thumbs down to KFC Forbes. Went there this evening to get dinner, left there without dinner. The young guy who served me well, his attitude was disgusting towards the customer. When I asked him what the difference in a meal was I got told it is what it is and that's it.

What did they learn to type? Thumbs down to that.

And then he's put seven commas. To be honest, it's lucky that KFC is a big food chain because if it is one store, it would be closed because of the staff that they employed. And that wasn't that, Jozy, That was a lot of brain power for me to decide for that. It wasn't even that good.

Not fucking worth it.

Mitchell thumbs up to Domino's for fast delivery, awesome pizza.

Thanks What about these? Everything souther and shier. This is all in caps, so I'm not yelling. This is how I'm reading in my head. Join us for a journey of learning, laughs, new social connections and potential dates like what a mix of what is this? And sorry? Join us for a journey of learning, laughs, new social connections and potential new dates at what at Southern Shire Uniting Church you're dancing, you're laughing, learning, and then it's also a singles night.

A potential date at the church.

Wowck yeah, oh my god, I found a judicy one ready, go go go.

Thumbs down to all the low life scum that stop and got out of their car and watched the fire on Darubilgi Road, also blocking the fire trucks from coming in.

It's one thing to.

Drive past, but to stop and block the fire trucks. Fucking low life.

Wah how the drama? I know?

God, I love Facebook group drama.

Oh God, this is dramatic. What happened to Cole's at Caring Bar? That's just that's it. That's the question.

Is it not there?

No, it's there, It was there on two nights ago. Nothing, it is nothing. Act what's happened? God, that's funny.

Maybe I should start using my fake account, Bernice Marie King, I'll start using my trial Facebook account. Just putting in my community group shit sooning, just being like, oh my god, Marrickville Metro had a roof collapse.

It's so dramatic too, our community. What will we do with that?

Trying to find a good one, but like a short one. Thumbs down to old mate who saw me pick up a lost wallet on Collari Road this morning, then pulled over to claim it, knowing full fucking well it wasn't his.

Wow nights try though the drama is there? A thumbs up? Thumbs down group where you are. Apparently they're quite common, are they? What would I search?

Uh?

I don't know the Shire thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs up to tiff at Commonwealth Bank goes above and beyond for her customers.

Bloody great service, I've just searched. Thumbs up thumbtown Woggle Wogger thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs down to Gail Anderson for blocking me. Wow, how many people have you blocked?

You?

Cow? It's embarrassing you were using people. No, wonder your band from sites. Stop drinking and gambling all your money away and learn to buy food for your family. I'm not joking.

Maybe it's a regional thing, because if that's Wogger and there isn't one for your suburb.

No, there's nothing. It's a small town thing. I mean someone's got to be the one to start it. I'm not fucking starting it. Oh.

I'm looking at all these thumbs up thumbs down posts. Some of them are so long I can't be fucked reading them. And they gotta have no punctuation, Like it's actually really hard.

Yeah, I hate it's killing me. It's too much. All right, shall we go?

Mitchell thumbs up to dude at KFC in the wicked bucket hat with drumsticks all over it.

Friendly, happy, cheerful, polite, young bloke. Best service I've received at a fast food venue around here for years.

Oh that's nice.

You know what, Mitchell? Before we go, I think you and I should do a thumbs up or a thumbs down for something that happened in our life.

Um, let me think what am I going to do?

Thumbs down to McDonald's tarring point for consistently giving me full strength coke instead of my coc no sugar. They always do it, and I can taste it. It's you wouldn't be able to tell.

No, You're right, you'd be able to pull the wool over my eyes very easily with that ship.

How can you tell there's like three hundred calories in a coke and there's none in a coke no sugar. I don't want that, and it throws my blood sugar out. Got the calorie counters my head in its steel cake. I'm not counting it. I'm like I just I'd rather have a chocolate frett. Oh you know me, I remember you remember when we were at your place.

I don't think this was even part of the podcast This is an Unfair Conversation. And I was telling you about the smoothie I made. It had like keyweed fruit, half an apple, avocado, blah blah blah, and you were.

Like, oh my god, that's so excessive.

There'd be so many calories in that.

Pepsi max is.

A only two calories.

So I was like, if this is where we're at as a society.

That pepsi max is considered more healthy than literal fucking fruit, then I'm out.

Yeah, that calori Like, I don't count my calories. I'm bothered. No, exactly, I think it's unhealthy as well. I think the best thing that I've ever done is I've quit myself with understanding calories and nutrients and what's in things, because it's good to know what things do, what carbohydrates do versus fats versus yeah, protein. But I don't count because I think they can be very unhealthy. Anyway, Thumbs down to calorie counting.

You have a thumb color counting Thumbs down.

Thumbs up to the hotel worker at Citadeen's in Perth, Oh, who I never got to meet, but when I arrived to check in in Perth, the lady pund the count and said, one of my colleagues is a fan of yours, so they upgraded your room. I got the room with the gorgeous fucking spaba. Oh that's very cood. And they had a bottle of champagne in the fridge for me, Oh gorgeous, just because they liked me.

And I was like, ah, thumbs up to you.

Dog.

Don't even know their name, but hope they're listening.

That's as you walked away, do they go, we love you, kiddy Flanagan. We're such a fan of the Cheap Seed's melody brace.

Well, keep walking the rage Jude if Lucy?

What did if? That happened to me when I was on tour. And then they walked away. They're like, God, I can't believe I've just been Hannagatsky. I'm like, I'm not, but I'll take the free shampers. I don't have any thumb sounds that spring to mind. Isn't that a good thing? I've got a thumbs up? Yes, Another one to the hotel worker at the where do I stay? Oaks in Brisbane? The Oaks? Okay, When I was staying in Brisbane, I left my LEI labo perfume, which is like, it's like expensive.

Seize the day.

Yes, I agree. So I called them and I said, hi, Oaks, did I leave it there? She went, let me check my hold came back. Is she such a sweet ut? Shit? And hitch, it's a great pleasure for you, really really really bad for us. We have your perfume. And I'll be honest, we were all really hoping you wouldn't call it because you really love the smell of it. Oh that's so fun. I was like, bless you you had. I will say, we did have a little spirts. It's gorgeous. We'll send it home to you.

You're like, you buy me a spirts, bitch?

You so what, that's two dollars of sprits. No thumbs up to Margaret whatever her name is. No, she was like twenty one. Zoey got lover anyway, all right, shall we go?

Yeah?

We better.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today.

That's all just two percent, so we do know.

We fucking thumbs down to Jenna. What the fuck is she?

Bitch?

Itch ain't great? All right, we'll catch you on Wednesday. It's lovely. Yeah is it just me?

Podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast up