#173: You’re Not Trying

This is.

Just hosted a couple of Mitches. Release yourself for the rude shocks of young adults in high school. I thought compulsory, I meant you had a choice. So my year advisor, Missus Moyman, went on Mitch Math's compulsory. I went fantastic and drama is Mitch Jury and Mitchell coups. Hello you owi ya?

I don't know how were you? Were you feeling better this week?

Yeah? I am. Do I sound nasally? I'm a bit croaky, I think only when.

You pointed it out. I hadn't noticed chatting for the last half hour before we started recording. But now that you pointed out a little bit, it's a bit a bit sexy.

I've got a mystache at the moment, like I'm kind of leaning into the whole grunge factor. You know, I haven't washed my balls in about a week as well, Like, I'm really trying to get.

On show with your Moe asked me to show you my balls.

No, God, I've seen that you smell.

Oh okay, here's my mae.

I haven't touched it all month.

Well it's only been sixteen days, I.

Suppose, but I would have thought it'd be more out of control by then, really a trimmer or anything.

Yeah, trimmer?

Yeah, oh okay, that makes sense.

Then I went to TikTok and there's like this guy that is like the mo trimmer, and he's like, four weeks to make sure your MOE is clean, Captain Cool, let's go step one. I'm like, he's like, you need oil.

Wal Oh god, it's a lot to commit to.

It is and you have to shave a millimeter above the lip line. Oh wow, so you don't get snotting food in it and when you kiss your lips can still be kissable. Yeah, it's not all fun, it'd be fair.

I haven't.

It didn't stand out to me as being different for you like it kind of suits you?

Yeah, if you aren't saying that people like it on the typically.

I am not a fan of the MO. I think they're fucking seedy normally. But it doesn't make you look seeding.

Oh I think your price keeper, Jenna, who's here? What do you think of the mak?

I quite like it.

Did you set up a November page eventually or is it just your own little fun muh? Well, when you get an omen, you really should think about that.

There is no momentum, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Now I'm a bit croaky. I was at the ari Awards last night. Ah yeah, the Arias they've dropped. You know, I've noticed this is just me on the fly? Or have a ward shows drop the annual part of the title. Well, there's nothing funner than going the sixty third annual ARIA Awards.

Because you like chuck an annual to anything.

I didn't love it. I didn't make that correlation. Yeah, I love an annual thing.

Is it just me on the fly? How good's the word annual?

No? Actually you just tried. Everyone make it and if you enjoy something, I urge you to make it annual. Like if you like going to lunch and getting a croissant, make it annual. But then you can then do it once a year. Yeah true, but then you don't want to get too much.

I love fresh bed linen and I'm not gonna feel like my annual sheet clean but fucking grotty, isn't it?

God? I love brushing my teeth. Let's make it an end. No, I more mean like a treat. What would you what's an event, Jenna that you would make annual? In your life.

Oh, I don't even know nothing.

Nothing, nothing's bringing there's nothing that you joy that you'd make annual.

No, because things that bring me joy, I'd want to do it more than once.

He's true, You're very true.

Yeah, it's a fine line between something that you enjoy doing so you do it often, like pilates classes Jenna. There you go, we do that multiple times a week because we like it. But then something that is like you enjoy it, but it would be way too fucking much you do it any more than once.

Again. Pig Weik's the perfect example.

There you go. Okay, there be a time pig Week rolls around.

I'm like, fuck that time of year already totally.

And the other day when we had Ginger Nuts on the show, that wasn't a guest that you missed that was that was a cookie that it sounds like we had a silly.

Now we didn't have Ron Weasling on the show.

Remember Ginger Nuts on the shows? So great?

What's up here that week?

Yeah, we had ed cheer and it's a guest Rember.

It was on that little rat thing from Harry Potter Scabbers. Oh my god. We never discussed the fact that scabbers like Ron had scabbers for a long time, right.

And it was.

That rat. No doubt saw him masturbate that rat, no doubt saw him buck naked fucking Hermione like, I'm serious.

If pets could talk, I tell you.

Imagine if Isabella, one day you were in the kitchen making a you foods, and all of a sudden she started dry heaven, I didn't apologies, she started convulsing. She arched her back, and then out peals a middle aged woman named Michelle, and she's like, Hey, the whole time I've been a woman and I've watched.

You, Isabella has a spied on Sean and I before in the act. Really and because she does this for attention. I don't know about your cat, Jenner, but they seem to time their vomits as to when they're not having enough attention.

Definitely, just recently Saturday morning, Connie decided to.

Yeah, because you weren't paying a percent attention.

I was sleeping in.

There, you go, yeah, No, because I was having a good buck. Isabella's like, well, I can't have that other that or she was repulsed.

No, No, she don't have aphobic although whenever I'm.

So how could she she is?

True?

She does.

She does every time I'm over, every time I smell beef. Time to fucking drop.

One filming an Instagram story today and she starts scratching around in the bloody kid at dinner in the background, I'm like, why why, she's.

Got no decorum?

Every time I picked that cut up from a father's she's like five kilos heavyer. She's one of these people that doesn't like the ship anywhere but home.

I can roll.

Yeah, I don't mind I ship anywhere.

Ship. I shop at the Arias last night, did you? Yeah? I needed to. I needed to do it.

And I didn't stick of the Arias because you've been to a few now, Like the logis were great the first time I went, But I don't have any fomo now.

No, I didn't. I did not. It wasn't as exciting as it has been in years past. My table was next to choice of Arne's table, and mind you, he had like every family member that he's ever connected to in his life.

I'm a girl with his mom there, he's mum.

I have met Lorel. I had tied Levi, his brother on my radio show when he had a song and she texts me. She texts me.

She's really personal like that. She used to be mine and Jenna's boss.

What I'm still Facebook friends with her?

What a country road or something like the first job that Jen and I had where we met. She was like an investor, so she'd sometimes just pop into the office and just keep an eye on her investment.

She'd lips sit on the lounge and just she was on the board.

She's got that blood cut fringe right.

Yeah.

Yeah, Well his dad was there too. Troy did really well. Troy cleaned up. So I heard, Yeah, one Song of the Year and Kylie Minogue. The best part was Dolly Parton was live and presented an award from dolly Land Dolly Partner. Was it actually live Dolly House?

What does she call her a state?

Dollywood?

Dollywood, dolly Wood Dollywood. Sorry, so she was actually live remotely.

I couldn't tell, but she she apparently threw it around like it looked live.

Were people with her, Yeah, they're like.

Brooke Brooke Boney, who was hosting, was like live from Dollywood, it's Dolly Parton high and then she went he how do we all? She was like so rare to be here at the Orias. You're right, you're wrong, but you're an icon, so it's okay. Marsha Hines was on the table next to me, and she came over and asked if she could have any of our caramel sizes. I said, sure, Marcia Heines, go for it. So she took my caramel size.

I'd be honest. I love Marsha Heins.

She's performing at Jones and Amanda's live show next week.

Is she don't.

Anyway? So yeah, I'm a little bit tired. I had to go to the after parties with the whole thing. You had to I did, because no, I did. It's my work. I've got to schmooze these label the music labels, all throw after parties. I have to go.

I wasn't invited to the after parties when I was an intern at the Arias.

Oh you wouldn't want to go?

Really?

Yeah? I ran into my exit all of them.

Oh did you?

Yeah? I was at the Water Music after party. I'm like, oh God, I'm leaving, going to the next one. Render that party. There he is, run into the Sony Music one, there he is.

I think you've had a few runnings now, I wouldn't even me a wkward anymore multiple runnings.

No, it's not it's not really a problem.

Look at this photo of me when I was an intern at the Arias. I was there during sound. Sure, I was standing in for I was going to say Kylie Minogue. I don't know if she was there that year. I have a feeling that it was Danny Minogue, but I was just honored to be in a Minogue's shoes. Yeah, they were testing the light and sound and cameras and shit, so I had to stand on her spot and that

No, it's sad. It has worn off.

Oh there's no magic.

I usedtill love the Arias. Now it's I didn't even watch it.

Can I say I feel dupe? I literally hosted the Arias two years ago during COVID. Yeah, and it was COVID and no one gave a shit. Now it's back on TV and they're like, Mitch Jury, who I got my big break in the middle of the pandemic.

I don't even remember you doing that.

It was not kid that's right.

No, it was a ship.

It wasn't. It streamed on YouTube.

And I guess we're Oh, I do remember that it was live. This was during like when we had like twelve people in a room and then if you need to cough, you do it in a bag and then incinerate it, like the rules were dumb. Anyway, it was at Taronga Zoo because it was one of the only venues that had open air but also had beautiful city views.

My god.

From the Tarannga Zoo and I got in trouble because I made a joke about the Wiggles. I tell us on the podcast.

That doesn't ring a bells, so maybe you haven't.

Oh.

I was like the host brook Bony hostage. He always fucking host, and then I was the host backstage, so like they do, three awards cross to me. I was like the fun one, so they crossed to me. I'm like, hey, Broke, I'm back here with the Wiggles. You just missed it. They're making fruit salad, yummy, yummy, big red cocktails like something dumb. Anyway, Then Bruce the Red Wiggle whatever his name is, the one that looks like that war criminal.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Bryce Dallis Howard, Ben Robert Smith. He looks like Ben Robert Smith you're talking about.

Who was there last night?

I went, how did you get out of prison? But it was the Wiggle and it's giddy anyway, sorry, I degrees and he came up.

You noticed that the new Jeff, the new Purple Wiggle, has no fucking business being that hot.

He is beautiful.

Justice, Absolutely, there's good to try and give the mums fanny flutters, for sure, very strategic.

I think i'd know how to wake him up. Wouldn't be hard.

Something would be hard, wouldn't it.

Ever, don't need to wake up. You're doing just fine. No need to wake No, no, no no no, I mean like because he's a wrect morning wood like I'm fine with. That didn't translate. I don't need anyway. Approached me and Wiggle and this is the is and he goes, mate, we're a family brand. We do not appreciate you insinuating that we're out he drinking cocktails. We don't drink.

I'll get your bucking hand off at whatever your name is.

And they didn't get asked back, so maybe the we care come on, maybe I've been blacklisted by the Wiggles. Maybe they've gone the fat one, never to work in this business.

Like you said, Oh there's Maury having a bump of care Tomine behind the giraffe scene.

Now you didn't say that.

I wish Blue Wiggles all white because he's covered in coke pro boning. Hell, how precious is anyway? Welcome everyone. If it's your first time listening, welcome to Is it just me? Wel yeah, hi, Hi was waiting for you.

Jure.

Mitch and I've done it, so you may as well. Welcome every single show we start with it. Is it just me? Mitch and I have one both something we've noticed, something we hate to appreciate. Mitch doesn't know Mine, I don't know. Mitch's.

My gym is about a big change they should make to iPhones because I've fucking had enough.

They need to get rid of a certain thing. Well, they've just made a bunch of changes. There's new iPhones and a big software update seventeen.

I don't believe my suggestion is included in that software update. Interesting, real different.

Well okay, all right, Well we'll get to that. Mine is quite simply something that I've noticed I was sent something by Jenna. Actually yes, and I've never felt more patronized in my life.

Yep, all right, would you want to kick it off?

Yeah, I'll start, so I go, yeap, all right, let's hit it?

Is it just me?

Is this ad the most patronizing thing you've ever heard? Hold on? Jenna sent me this and she said are you playing this at on Kiss? And I was like, no, I don't think so. It's an exclusive ad playing on WSFM. Yeah, the radio station Geno constantly all the time.

I've checked continents, pads, no doubt your audience.

No it's not. It's not for cataract cream or cowtrait tablets, no prostate massages. It is for the Fairfield markets. So it's actually in the in the database here at the radio station. It's Fairfield City Council. So this is paid for with our tax dollars.

Where is Fairfield?

Where is Fairfield? Sydney's Western Sydney. Okay, Fairfield sounds quite nice. I'd like to go to Fairfield, although not after this fucking ad because I've never felt more patronized in my life. Jenna said it to me, so I keep hearing it on loop, Like, why is it only on WSFAM so you must hear it at work all the time.

I just googled Fairfield Markets and the address is in Smithfield Road.

Prairie Wood.

I also never heard of Prairie Wood.

Where the fuck is this joint prairie Wood?

But why wouldn't you just call it prairie Wood Markets?

Yeah? Then I completely agree. They're clearly done it.

I see it's sort of out near wet and wild or whatever the fuck it's now raging raging waters. Yeah, sounds like someone's about to give birth. Oh my god, my raging waters.

First, imagine if that's what your doctor said when you're about to light They're about to take your baby out to love your baby. It's went a while down there, all right? This is the ad ready, Yeah, and you'll know as soon as the vo artist says a certain line, you feel patronized.

Okay, shocking as it's meant to be.

It's Fairfield Markets for me.

Make it a habit every Saturday at Fairfield Markets.

If you can't find a bargain with over six hundred stills to choose from, you're not really trying. There's Lady for the kids too, for the children wood pack.

It's a fan.

Dare you If you can't find a bargain without six hundred stores, you're not even trigging.

So disrespectful to try.

That's right, they should be bargain smacking me in the face left, right and sent.

I agree, and the goal that she has to say it with a smile as well. I did not really, do you know?

I'm not trying?

Yeah, exactly. The whole premise of a market is to not try, because you no one ever goes. You know what I need? I need a chopping ball with some resin in it, Like no one goes. You don't go to a market for a destiny for an item. I love that over priced almond croissant. Let's go to prairie wood. Yeah.

I kind of just go to markets and just they can tell me what I fucking need. I need another candle, exactly.

Yeah, I go to market. That's actually an injem on the fire. I've never bought anything I've ever wanted a market, but I buy a lot me too. Like I bought a candle that's been molded into the shape of a woman's bodice. Yeah, I'm like, that's cute. I'd never buy it anywhere else other than a market.

But also because you're supporting a small business, you like, you know, I'll support you. But also you're not really looking for a barget.

No you're not. Oh my god. I will happily overpay it.

A market because it's a small business. And so I don't feel so bad.

Yeah.

What does make me feel bad is when I go to this like candle stall at a market and I smell them and I think they're fucking vi buying one of those. But the little lady who's handmade them standing there behind the stall, I say to her, oh, I'm going to come back for this, that one's nice, And I never come back for it, and she sees me wondering around, and she knows that I chose not to buy.

Yeah, that's the hard thing about markets now they've all got pay pass. Back in the day, like five years ago, you could be like, I'm going to just go find an ATM and they'd be like, yeah, Tappy with the gossle main event, you'd be like, no worries and then you just run. But now they're like, no, I've got beam it, I've got a tap square pay pass me. I'm like, Jesus, is this used to be easy?

That's good because then they can just email you the receipt.

It's easy, it is true, But then I can't get out of it. I can't get out of it, you know. And the candle places, You're right, it's always their name. It's always Jasmine's Infinity candles.

I got a bloody, gorgeous one that's some market on the Northern Beaches, and I need to go back because it's stunning. I also got this beautiful fucking skin care for It's meant to treat exma, but for me, it sorts out the raizor rash. I wouldn't have found that if I hadn't gone brows in the markets. Actually happy, yes, because you do have a massive razor rash issue. I used to I've never even noticed it. Your razor rash is gone. Yeah, well you did say to me before,

I don't know.

Someone said it's a message saying thank you Mitch Cherry for opening up about your skincare routine. Like I wasn't opening up, did I didn't see that? They think maybe they sent me a private message, thank you brave? Shall I use retinol twice weekly?

You should have said to me when I was asking for advice. If you don't know what skincare to use, you're not trying hard enough.

You're not even try imagine.

If like a big bread like Cole's tried to do that. If you can't have want to feed your family for ten dollars or more, you're not trying hard enough. Shut the fuck up, curd of stone.

Is it just me? You should follow these idiots online search a couple of mitches.

All right, as you know, it's Mugvember. We're in the middle of Mugvember.

We're fast approaching the cut off of Mugvember.

We have a limited edition mugs, and I have to stress this enough. These mugs once sold gone, you can't get them again. And people collect these mugs like we have idiots that have our season one mug, Season two, season three, now the season four mug. If you don't buy it now, you'll never be able to get it.

It's actually season five, but close five. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it doesn't make heaps of sense, does it.

No, our seasons there isn't. It's not like Friends, like it's nice and easy with box sets.

It's because season one we started in like September or October and then finished the year, and then we just started season two totally. Yeah, and then I think season three went for like a year and a half. That was during COVID, and we're like, let's just keep running with season three.

Imagine if TV shows followed our formula. Yeah, and like the new episode of Morning Wars was like Jennifer Nison's like, nah, just give them two episodes. We'll come back in a year. Yeah.

Season two will be four hundred episode ye sees and three will be known.

And it's been consistent the last two years. Season four and five have just been the year.

Yeah.

Well we're in season five now the teal era, yes, of course. And as of December first, you can't order a mug anymore.

No no, so go on buy one. You can also get a signed mug Mitch and I will hand sign them. We were just signing some before. It was very fun.

I barely touched them because I'm so nervous about my signature being permanent. I need to practice.

This just is a perfect example of how different we are, because Jenna, I wasn't even looking. I think I was eating a salmon bagel while I was Wait, you weren't even looking, and I just sign away. And then Mitch is like, putting so much thought and effort into signing the mugs, and I want.

Them to match, whereas your signatures do not match.

Some of the fucking mugs you've signed are written in all caps, some of them are written in cursive. It's just not consistent at all, whereas I want mine to be beautiful.

Yeah, but you know when you get something like it's hand signed, like maybe a politician to set you a letter, when you've changed the electorates and it's signed at the bottom, but you can tell it's photo. I don't want I want people to know that I've written this. I want them to be imperfections, like the ancient hieroglyphs in Egypt. I want this to be like the rosetta start, like when people go no, Mitch Jury has touched it.

Yes, we have touched it. I will sign them, I promise, and they're available linking bio on our Instagram the show notes of this episode.

You can order your mug before the end of the month.

Speaking of the mugs, coming up in episode one seventy four on Wednesday, we need to have an all staff meeting. Yeah, we've had a predicament with the mugs. I haven't filled you guys in.

On this yet, no, Jenner and Ianna Chriss, Yes, what.

There's been a predicament and there's a few other things on the agenda for the staff meeting, but that's happening on Wednesday.

All right. We need you to take the minutes, Jenna as the price keeper, just so nerve racking. You'll be fine with the minutes or the meeting.

Everything.

I've learned not to worry. I've stuck around like enough.

Yeah, he learnt that straight out of the womb. Just don't worry, don't you a fuck. It's all good. And also, I should say, coming up on Wednesday as well, a brand new mission for Roving Report at Oscar.

Oh love it.

I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I reckon you guys are going to froth it, you two in particular.

Really, you guys are.

Gonna be that part of us if you an oscar.

Yeah, we went out and did it over the weekend.

Oh my god, I'm so excited.

Put in the hours.

It took way longer than it really. I'll explain with that on Wednesday.

Okay, Wednesday, ordeal, Okay, okay, Wednesday. Do you want to do your regim?

Yeah, I'm ready, let's go right hit it?

Is it just me?

Does some iPhone alarms need to be banned?

Oh?

Yes? Oh my god.

Interesting. I have had the same alarm for fifteen years. Which one of you got a driven to play it? Yeah? I don't know what it's called, but and I remember when I chose it. If you want the truth, I'd never set an alarm in my life, aside from when I moved to New York and I had to be up at like six every morning to get the train into into Manhattan, and I chose this alarm and I've stuck with it ever since.

Is it going to trigger me?

Maybe? How do I pick an alarm?

A right? Well, don't play it on your phone, find out the name in your settings and then look it up on YouTube.

Oh here, it isn't here.

This is my daily alarm.

What's it called.

It's called coffee time.

Coffee time that one.

Yeah, I've got a whole thing because if it says wake up, it makes me stressed. So because I love coffee, one of my favorite things in the world. So it starts my day with something that I want to drink. It's me excited. It works.

Maybe I'll recognize that.

Bring it up on YouTube. This is my alarm that So it's not actually called coffee alarm.

No, right, I thought you mede that's the name of the ringtime.

Oh no, what does it? I haven't heard it. I'm like, yeah, it's my fucking house. This is my alarm. Ready, it's called twinkle o ca ready.

No, one's not that offensive.

Actually, it's so nice.

It's a little bit annoying.

It kind of plays for a bit.

This is the issue that I'm having.

Right. So, speaking of roving reporter, Oscary crashed at my place the other day, and he's got this thing where he's just immune to his alarm, like he cannot hear it, he's numb to it, and so he'll be sitting there with his phone right next to his pillow, the alarm going off in his fucking ear and either Shaun or I'll have to get up and literally shake the bed and go, oh scap, your alarm's going off. It is so triggering his alarm me really scary. See if you

Oh I think I know this, This is it.

I'm gonna be so triggered. Imagine this going off for like we usually give it a good three minutes, being like, surely he will hear it. If we can hear it from a different room, he'll hear it. He never wakes up.

His alarm goes who chooses that? What do you have, Mitch? What's your iPhone alarm?

Oh?

Mine? It's one of those beautiful ones that you can set up in the health section of your phone. I'm probably man explaining a lot of people have alreadyigured this out, but I am surprised how many people don't know this, right, I mean, so in the health part of your iPhone, help can set your health You can set a sleep schedule and it gives you all of these beautiful, peaceful

Is that something from Horrory tells the story, doesn't it?

This part is when I go, oh, that's my love, Like I sort of here, but I'm still asleep, and then I read this start Oh, it's time to get to pull.

The curtain'd kick your feet in the linen you turn around.

I usually have to get up and go to the other room because I don't keep my phone in my bed and I'm not waking up all panicked and stressed.

Well, it isn't that lovely unless you turn around and see show on fucking squish Mallow, in which case you'd be lived.

Wow.

This is really nice, isn't it?

And there's so many to choose from. But you have to set it up in the health section of your iPhone. And I've got it set for eight hours sleep, so I can just drag it around to what time you do? Give me exactly eight hours. Then it tells me time to wind down. If you want your full laid hours.

Go to bed in the next twenty minute.

Wait, can I just tell you the top comment on this. Yes, someone's commented, as a toddler, my mum would have this alarm on her phone and I'd wake up to it. This brings back good memories. How long have they had a lot ficking as a toddler? Someone says, aren't these new alarms? Apple created the bedtime feature in twenty sixteen, and someone says, Wait, either you're lying or you're very fucking yup, that's.

Exactly what's going on. They're probably lying.

Yeah, the freaking bedtime feature has been there since twenty sixteen. You have to set it up in your iPhone, but there's so many people that don't use it. Seawan used to have a hidious alarm as well.

Oh what was Sean's I think it's called beacon Beacon Yeah, and it scares the shit out of me.

And he's one of those people that sets like fourteen fucking alarm. It's like one they're all five minutes after the other. In case he sleeps through it, I'm like, how could you sleep through I've never.

Got that, Like one will still play set one alarm?

Yeah exactly.

Oh yeah, they need to get rid of all these really, really aggressive ones.

I agree, this is my favorite of all time. This is iconic.

Come on that happy ringtime it is.

I would never want to wake up time.

Mine is early riser.

You know what I think?

Is that one of the beautiful ones in the bedtime?

Yeah you go early, right? Yes, bing bing bing bing bing bing bing bing.

That was mine for ages, I know, but.

Mine used to be called even one of the peaceful ones.

It was called bright eyed, bright eye, and it was beautiful at first, but after a couple of years even that became triggering. So that's why I changed that. This is what I used to wake up to when I did the early starts for breakfast Radio, and so.

It became triggering because I'm like, oh.

Fuck, it's free day to go.

Yeah, I'm still not ready to go.

Oh yeah, oh this sounds awful. This sounds like the intro to like a SBS news bullet.

Yeah.

Now SBS News here is Michelle Kwana and Paul Barrelston.

I'm expecting le Lynchin to start talking any second now.

Yeah anymore? God, that's so funny. What are your text tones? Out of interest? Because I think that I've got custom text tones for custom people.

I don't know how to do the custom tone thing.

You just go to their contact card and you change it.

Well, so you don't like choose a song or something nap.

Now mine's always silent, so oh really that's true.

But if you've got them on the emergency contact list, you'll hear the sound regardless.

Is that real?

Yeah?

I did not know that.

I thought you told me that you put me on the emergency pushed through for your phone when I removed my ex I put you in. Okay, so if I call you even on doing not a serve doesn't make a noise.

Yeah, And also I want a car crash and they can't get through to my mum, my dad, my two sisters, my auntie Christine. It then goes to you.

Or if you're lifting weight through the gym and you accidentally said off the SOS on your watch, it calls me you're.

My next, next, next, next, next, next of kin?

Can I be the next next one?

Yes, it'd be my honor.

Cool, no worry, thank you.

I made my ring tone because if you go to the ring tone section in your iPhone setting, yeah, I'm going the name with all of the ring tone options. But then right down the bottom there's Classic, which is a whole separate menu that brings up all the old iPhone ring tones and mine is set to xylophone.

And how lame is this?

I wanted it to match Nina Proudman's iPhone ring tone from Offspring.

I'm going to google it.

Xylophone rung, xylophone ring ring.

This is what this is your phone every time it rings, Mitchell.

Yeah, there's something nostalgic about it.

Have you seen this the recording of these these things? Yeah, it's crazy, like you see those being made.

I can actually do an impression of the Facebook messenger in the sound. This will be Do you give me a sec I just have to have a cup with the right amount of water.

Oh god, kill time. There's a cup here with water? Yeah, give it?

Hang on, Okay, here we go.

Should I play it for reference?

Yeah?

Hear it first, Calm down, messing this one.

Yeah, that's too low. Give me that small cup.

That'll do.

It's a bit flat.

Do it again.

Okay, ready with the sound my performance.

Ye, that's that's really good. Yeah, I'm very impressed.

Yeah, I'll give it to you.

I'd love to know how you discovered you had that. I was sucking off Sean above a half drunk glass of water, and as I pulled my head off his penis right. I had a knife in my I had a knife in my hand and I fell onto the glass that sounded like the Messengers sound.

I actually don't know how I discovered it.

I just had a random, cooked thought one day.

I'm impressed.

I am too well done.

What can you do?

An impression of bring a marimba in here?

I'll play now. My ringtone is the thirty rock theme. I've said that many times. Which is this? I can play it again if you really want to. No one asked Jenna, do you want to know? No, I know, I don't think of that. There's the show now. I think it does my ring to exactly.

That ruin it.

I'd love to know what Jennings is actually. I'll just send you a text, Jenner, and I'll be able to hear it. I'll send you a text for you gentlemen. There we get sent.

Corn.

Jenny, you're dirty bitch, Jannah.

That's fair. Shut up.

But yes, the point remains the really really irritating and triggering iPhone alarms?

Why do they still have them as an option.

No, I agree, get rid of that nostalgia, baby, nostalgia.

That's nostalgic, that's just torture.

I wonder if we've taught you anyone listening probably people they would have those alarms and they would have freaked out.

Yeah, let us know if you were triggered listening to them.

Yes, please do all right, all you should probably go. Guys, that's us done that.

All right, let's get out of here.

Oh my goodness.

Plenty more to come on Wednesday episode as per usual.

Yeah, you can get a mug for Mug November. If you want to shop linking Bio, go on buy one, and if you want to sign one, we'll sign it.

You to see that someone posted in our Facebook group.

Is it just me?

Or should they do a special mug release for their half a decade celebrator next year?

I was like half a decade when you put it like that, I didn't realize the podcast had been going that long.

I don't think you celebrate half a decade.

To be honest, it's five years. It just sounds more impressive to say half a decade.

It does sound we could do.

Let's think about that rash shirts or something.

I was looking into rashirts, but I wouldn't be able to get them made in time for this summer.

But next year, someone hold me accountable to that.

Yeah, okay, it happened.

All right, that's sun safety for everyone the moment.

There's mugs for our tel Era season five, so you can buy those. Yeah all right, well guys, we'll see you in a couple days.

Yeap, catch you soon.

It he gets love yaya bye?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches. Make sure you've hit to follow on your podcast up.

Welcome to A to D Brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, we pretend the show it's done, but we keep talking.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

If we wrap up that early, they're plenty more. Not only is there a whole other episode on Wednesday, but we keep talking shit here. Don't you worry.

We just gossip. I was trying to explain add brief to someone the other day and it was really hard to explain. So I just got my phone and was like, this is where they think we end. But then there's all this left and they're like, why do you do that? I'm like, I don't know and then I'm like, but we have a secret Facebook group called Endurant Idiots.

It's not secret though, No, we actually want people to join that.

It's real.

The link is also in the episode of Scription an Endurant Idiot.

Yeah, I'm an idiot. I get things confused. The segment secret, the group's public.

Yes, secret segment.

Yeah.

Segments and Facebook groups are not the same thing, you know.

Anyway, they said, endurance isn't a word. You know, we've been over there, like, I know we've I know, I know that. But you should change it? Then? Why not? It really isn't a word.

I feel like it should be. Oh they always talk about you know, oh the Endurant batteries, jurist cell or something. You know, they use that word to endure something. If your trait is to endure, would that not make you endurant?

That's true.

It should be a word, it feels like, because there's endurance, so like endurant.

I'm google it does come up as a word, I feel like when you Google it, But when I write it on my phone it comes up with the red squiggly lion as if I've made a typo, which just quite simply isn't fucking true.

Well, Endurant is a brand of battery. It's cold Endurant, long life, reliable quality. That's us. That's us, that's hu Jen, It's to.

A t absolutely half a decade, mate, We're long long.

If we're the friends carts, who do you reckon is going to die first? Oh my god, Matthew Perry, I'm just wondering three of us. I know what you're all thinking of.

Fuck you, i't said anything, going to say Jenna because she would just come back as a ladybug or something.

True. Wait, don't you always come back as a human or if you've been reincarnated?

Depends on what I feel like you get to pick yeah.

Out, Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Well, how many times have you been human as opposed to some sort of animal?

Nineteen? Human and two?

What were the animals?

It was a witchity grumpy and a horse a horse?

I can what what era were you a horse?

I was a horse in seventeen thirty three, seventeen forty six.

Oh, they were busy.

Then I was going to say, that's the that's basically like coming out today as a car. I was a clydes Wow a male Yeah, Wow, that's pretty impressive. How did you perish?

It was actually an accident. I don't really want to go. Oh, of course I get it because I was a Clydestylee horse.

So where's your birthmark on your body?

Now?

It's on my back?

That yeah, that checks out because they say.

Celebrating Janet's birthday on the horse's birthday, which is when the first of August?

Is it?

Okay?

Well that's what they say. Your birthmark on your body currently is where you died in your past life.

Did you know that I gave myself a fucking birthmark the other day? I was than my hair appliants like the thing that No, not even that one. I've got a separate one, the mermaid hair that's the curls to it. I really want to bring that in and try it on Janet's hand.

By the way, I'd love to see you the blowout.

It's not a blumar.

It gives you like the Google Mermaid.

Here, I've away before I know what they are.

I'm not even sponsored, but I just I kind of want to bring it in and demonstrated on Jennet. Which is rivoting for a podcast when you can't see it. But imagine her with mermaid hair. It's so long.

Yeah, that's true.

Wow, look at this thing.

But anyway, I was using that thing. It's like a crimper and I burnt my shoulder. No, it looks like someone's giving me a hickey on my shoulder.

Oh god, you cooked your skin.

And I only touched for like a second and I was like, oh, it didn't really hurt that much. But then I looked and I was like, holy fuck, there's a big mark.

Look at that.

That's a decent bird. Also, look at those muscles.

Show me flakes, well, show me muscles like that. Oh my goodness. Really, God, swat rolls. You don't have to take control. Would you ever swap to a top era? Would you go?

I don't need to be the top to be in control.

I'm aware now, I know.

Yeah, I can tell you who's in chart?

Oh my, oh.

Who is it? Is it fucking Clara, your squish mellow? Yes? Yeah, he's like, babe, can you just put this over your face? I really like how it holds the donut. Can you hold me the way Clara holds that strawberry donut? Thank you? Anyway, So my horrific date chronicles continue not horrific. The location of the dates is really bizarre.

So it was an escape room.

No, I went to an escape room. And then this weekend I went to an Irish fish and chip shop.

What terrific about that? That sounds lovely, it's actually really fun. But it was just clearly past the point in dating this person where you're trying to impress each other if you're going to a fish and chip shop.

So it's very Irish, yes, because an idiot's listening will know if you've seen I get it on TikTok all the time. It's like, hello, come and have a Chinese in me. It's British people because they call having a Chinese meal a Chinese Ah, right, they say I'm having a Chinese Is it just me on the fly?

Are they are not enough Chinese restaurants in Sydney? Because I go on Uber Eats and I was really fanging for a fucking Mongolian lamb from a Chinese restaurant and I could not find any nearby.

I feel like there's quote, really there's a load of thaie.

You couldn't find any Chinese restaurants on Japanese but no Chinese.

King Street Newtown. There are three of the same franchise.

Yeah, but Newtown.

Maybe they're not a lion type of toong one, type of Tong two. Then there's type of tong the third four hundred meters down the road. Not joking, it's that Chinese. No, no, it's nice Anyway. I kept seeing all these Chinese videos and then that progressed to come and have a spice bag. And in the UK and Ireland there's something that their Chinese restaurant's called a spice bag, and it's hot chips, chili, salt and pepper and capsicum an onion, all mixed.

Up in a bag like a money bag thing. No, it's like a it's kind of like a very wash and sack. No no, no, it's a box. It's in a box or just a white bag. It's like a bag of chips. Yeah, with gravy. You pour gravy offs.

So it's loaded fries.

It's yeah, yeah, fries, but we's got bits of chicken in it. Onion.

I'm really confused about your hole inner bag thing.

What Yeah, I just pictured an actual bath and special it's just loaded.

It's like cultural like it's called a spice bag in the same way, we'd be like, I don't know what do we have? Bangers and mash that's ash, yeah, but what do we have then? I don't know? Meat pis yeah, meat pile.

Yeah, don't call that a bowl of meat.

No, we don't shut a bag of meat anyway.

All right, you're all being mean to me?

Can I just give you an Is it just me on the fly something I'm fucked off about at one moment? So as this podcast is released, I will have just done my Perth comedy show. Oh yeah, oh yeah, And because I've never been to Perth in my life, I wanted to. They already booked the flights, right, They booked the flights for me, my comedy managers, and I said

That's a great idea.

So because they had already booked it, they tried to change it. And the difference not even to cancel a flight just changed the booking was like six hundred bucks Jesus, plus all the other fees and shit that come with that, and then an extra night's accommodation was like one hundred and thirty, which is okay. I was willing to do that, but I was like, the flight being six hundred bucks is fucked right. I can't believe that. And then it turns out, oh, it's because cold Player in town. Why

Yeah, cold Player touring. And I actually know why they're just doing Perth. Yeah, I know, because it's closer to the UK, like it's all the way on the left hand side of the country.

I think because they've been copying flak for all the bloody jet fuel shit that they have been using on them, and so as a response to like people trying to cancel them for not being environmentally conscious, they've said, right, well, after we finish our Indonesia show, we'll only go to Perth. That's our only Australian show because it's closer. We don't want to go in nextra few hundred k's to Sydney.

Mission?

That is so true.

Your people are going to Perth for you, You've up the price.

I assumed I was the most exciting performer in town that weekend, but apparently not.

I would never You couldn't pay me to go to a Coldplay concert.

I've been to two. I love Coldplay, but admittedly the concerts were like separate album separate eres, but they were very much the same. Shit. Really, there's a lot of colorful confetti and balloon.

Coldplay don't really do it for me. I love cold What was your first concert.

Hillary Duff? Really in two thousand and three?

Wow?

Yes, mine was very embarrassing.

Actually, what was it?

Well?

I always tell people that short Sack was my first concert because that was like my first proper concert, but there was a mosh pit and stuff. But technically the first concert I went to was not even the Saddle Club. It was Sophie and Kia two people from the Saddle Club who tried to.

Break out on their own. Look up their music.

It's dreadful Sophie Andre and they came to Condoblin.

Wow.

And I was very very young. I'm sure I've still got the photo that I got with them somewhere. Jenny, you'd get a kick out of it. It was Stevie and Christi from the Saddle Class, Yes, and they tried to do their own spin off music duo and it.

Was just shot.

But also it's just so random that it's for both of.

Them, I know, because they were enemies on the show, like Christy was one of the bullies.

What do you want? Do you want? You and me nothing to say? Or Planet Tokyo, Planet Tokyo for sure? Which is the brunette with a stank face? Is that Sophie or is that Sophie?

And that she played Stevie in the Saddle Club.

She needs a fucking attitude check.

I'm sure she's a lovely girl.

But this was not good music.

But of course, young Mitchell I was still in primate school.

I was live ben I loved it too.

Is Planet Tokyo?

You for ad announce it like you're on the radio, and let me.

Listen to the post though. Oh god, it goes forever. Fuck it really does. Jeezz christ Dark now now okay, a thirty second intro?

Oh my god, did you look up a carry out version instrumental?

Sorry that was thirty nine seconds? No wonder they didn't hit commercial success. No, no radio anouncer could do that.

Can you see if you can? I'm sure feel thirty nine second?

Right? Sure, okay, all right, thank you Kerry and Kennelly. Great to have you on the show. Honey, good luck with your next stage production. All right, everyone, still to car your chance to be flowing to condoble and right now though, two new artists on the scene. One the ugliest stank face you've ever seen on a young girl. You think this woman was a del aged kmart employee, but no, she's twelve. The other one has so much hairspray in I'm shocked that she hasn't caught and combusted

You still haven't said the artist or the song name.

Sophie and Keia. He's playing a tokyo.

Keep listening. Isn't it shocking?

Is that Sophie or Keia? I think they're singing in munism.

Play for them?

What?

Oh to be honest, if Olivia Rodrigo released this everyone at that.

Point, they're right, true, they were ahead of their time.

That's always in their problem. The Sattle Club I.

Saw it A TikTok was like every Olivia Rodrigo song is just like, you're mean, You're bad. You my heart, I'm going I'm sad fuck you. That is so true.

She knows the audience.

Who does kiss off people after a breakup?

Children?

I bet there was a lot of Olivia Rondrigo on Rotation for You.

There was so much see and then she released this on going fuck your X whatever it is. Oh, yeah, that's I really want to do it. I'm really really naughty. I'm going to do a thing. I mean his bedroom.

Oh my god.

I was like, maybe I should, thanks, Liv I'm like, they've got the brain of a sixteen year old girl. Oh that's really funny.

But you know, but the point of that story was they've jacked up the prices for Coldplay and now I'm really worried because I've got tickets to Taylor Swift in Melbourne, and I still haven't booked flights for accommodation to get there because I'm too scared to face the reality that they've jacked the prices up for everything.

Yeah, but Mitch, it's going to get worse.

You know, I know what you need to book it now?

Well, I'm going with a group of friends and I've just been waiting for someone else to step up because I'm not really known for admin. That's not really my thing. I've been waiting for someone else to take charge. And it's going to have to be mega, isn't it.

You are in this group, you're known for the admin.

It's true.

I'm really not though you are between the three of us me. Yeah, of course, but I don't take to it like a fucking duck to water. I hate it, hate aman.

I'm quite good a.

Me.

Or is it possible to be really good at something and hate it at the same time?

What a relatable question that is. I I got invited to Christina Aguilera, but I didn't have anyone to take.

You got a plus one?

She's in Melbourne. Yeah, I've got a plus one.

I've got friends going to that too, And I said to them, how could you? I understand you booked tickets before Britney Spears's memoir came out. But people have turned on Christina Aguilera after that.

What's the beef I.

Saw in Las Vegas?

Christina?

Was she good?

She was actually really good?

Someone explained the beef.

Please explain.

I can't remember that. I can't actually remember. There's got to be an article about it. But there was a few times that Britney she didn't go in and you know, criticized Christina, but there were a few things that she said in passing that were just like, oh god, that's a dog act from Christina, isn't that right?

Because they weren't they in that Mickey Mouse Club.

They were in a way competitors, even though they started as part of the same team, and Christinas didn't stand up for it at all, and she made things difficult for her when things were difficult for her.

I love Brittany. Have you seen the TMC footage of her being pulled over by the police. She gets pulled over by this is like a month ago. She gets pulled over by the police because she's driving with she's speeding and they're like, ma'am, you've been speeding, Like, what's your excuse? And she has I just rely need to go into a tinkle. She's she's just like us.

Do you know what I take from that? Yeah, she was driving. Good for you, Brittany. She was banned from driving her father.

Wouldn't letter you want to read it? Do you want to hear it? This is it? This is her the body cam footage. He's walking up to her white Mercedes bands. Yeah, yeah, pass on the w yellows you can't do that? Do you have your license?

Yeah?

It's a TT But what is t TES?

But wouldn't you say pep? What does TE stand for?

Let me listen? Does she say t T?

Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

What about that post where she's going on about meeting Taylor Swift and.

She's like, he goes, did you see that met?

You know?

Ps?

Mom? I read the first Okay, the first part is this is way back when but kind of cool. During my OOPS tour, I got to knock at my door. My good friend at the time was the assistant to my manager who was trying to become a manager himself. There was a knock and then he said, I have a girl named Taylor who wants to come in and sing for you.

I was like, of course.

He walks in and she sings a beautiful song with her guitar. I was like, wow, Wow, she's unbelievable. We took a picture and she then became the most iconic pop woman of our generation.

Kind of cool.

She plays stadiums and I prefer her videos over movies any day.

She's stunning.

Girl. Crush ps Mom, I love you so much. But there were three dolls in the cabinets when I went home two years ago. Kind of really weird. You would take them out and then put them back in, so messed up. Nope, I don't want them.

Keep it all. I honestly don't care anymore. Honestly, this is the.

Same post about loving Taylor.

This is here here that is so bizarre.

Oh my god. Ship with the photo it was pretty cute. Wow, pretty cute.

Rano questing, This has nothing to do with anything we were talking about. But have you been watching the new Real House Size of Sydney.

Yes?

No, you have, yeap how far.

In No, I haven't watched the recent episode. Okay, well, I'm past the one about the fur and ser.

Oh, well the most recent one is the most unhinged. Like, finally we're getting into classic house wives, ridiculous drama.

That's great.

I'm start to watch it.

Yes, honestly, watch the first episode. You could probably even skip two, three, maybe even four. Just five and six is when I'm like, Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

Yeah, I've been on my list, I just haven't a time.

Doctor Kate is a regular contributor to my other podcast.

She's a fucking piece of work on this show, doctor Kate.

Yeah, she on a cat show.

She's the Bond divet.

She was on that reality show alongside Chris Brown back in the day, but now she's one of the real.

House what's her name, doctor Kate, doctor Kate something? What is her last name?

Fuck?

I know, I know it.

She follows me, Christy Marsh follows me and always love Heart reacts to my story. I'm like, Christie Marsh.

What, Oh, I'm so jealous, Doctor Kate Adams.

That's seen this woman in my life.

She a piece of work, mature, Well, she's just It was the whole fur debate basically because obviously she's a ver. She gives a shit about animals. That's a given. But one of the other girls on their Victoria wore a fur jacket.

To a conservation park.

Yes, not a good idea, and so Kate brought it up fair enough, you're passionate about that, But then she just will not drop it.

And it's been going on for more than one episode now, and it's like, oh my god.

Every time Victoria tries to make amends, you just keeps doubling down, and I'm like, okay, now, you're just being a pain in the ass.

She's actually a really lovely person. I'm going to have to work and she gives me great advice for Connie.

I'm sure she does.

Can I tell you this one bit.

On Housewives the most recent episode, episode six, I believe I had to keep rewinding it and playing it again because it's so stupid. It's not even a mispronunciation. It's just the way that someone pronounces something. Yeah, Nicole is her name, and she's teaching her daughter how to cook because she's about to move out of home and live at UNI on campus, and so she's teaching her how to cook, and it's just the way she says this sentence that I found it so funny, I'll play it for you already.

This is a very basic pusta that I thought I would show you today. It's very important for a while to learn to cook. It's very important for anyone to learn how to cook.

How does she say the word cook as such a short syllable. She's like, I think it's important for a while to learn cook. It's important for anyone to learn cook.

Yeah, that was very quick.

Everything else is slow.

I was thinking, how well spoken she yes, very important for while to learn cook?

How does she do it?

I'm actually impressed at how quickly she can get those o's in there.

Yeah, it's such a stupid thing for me to get hung up on. But I rewound and laughed, like one more time.

This is a very basic pusta that I thought I would show you today.

It's very important for a while to learn to cook. It's very input for anyone to learn how to cook.

Yeah, I didn't read Britney's memoir.

I actually listened to the audiobook.

Yeah, and who better to learn how to cook than from Nicole. She's a good She's a belief THEO she is good book sounds like the cash. That's funny, we're gonna got how my Dutch grandmother says, she goes, I gotta do or I gotta do a T T. Yeah, so sorry, it's coming out yuck.

Ps mom, so ridiculous.

Although I feel like I've arrived at that age early where it's very imperative that when I get home and I need to piece, I get the fucking side as a p The other day, I came home and I had heaps of ship that I was carrying, and I got all the way upstairs and I'm like, I'm about to t T I'm about to piss everywhere. And then I realized that i'd take off the actual house key from the key ring because it hits my leg when it dingles in the car. So it was still downstairs

In that fuck now. I am one of those people that like when I need to whel even worse number two, and like the closer I get to the toilet, there is like a proximity effect. It's like there's an air tag in my asshole, like my body's Like the closer I get, the more it starts to come out. I've like timed it perfectly. As I pull it out, it starts. I'm not joking anyway. Oh my god, I was wearing active wear at the Arias, not active wear, skims like

Oh that's so really comfortable.

They're so comfortable. I just have like a bit of loose skin from the weight loss, so I like to just put the skins on. Yeah. Do you have blue skin?

You've got I've always had it because I was a fucking obese child.

Do you actually have blue skin?

Yes?

Oh, it's like I don't know what to do about it. There isn't really.

Anything you can do. Hey, you can get it removed unless it's if it's really bothering.

You drinking a lutle two for one?

Can we Oh my god, reckon if we fuck off hinge and we'll just get skin surgery ads on the show. Imagine that, Mitch, you've still got floppy skin. I sure do, Mitch. Listen, I'm working with doctor Nwindy cut me good. No, I don't mind it. My tummy will always be very saggy, so which is fine. I don't mind it. But I put my shape aroun because it keeps it all intact. Anyway, I did do a pool, like I said, so you literally have to like pull it all off. Oh it's awful.

I wore like those.

Bike shorts that I usually wear when I'm exercising. Mostly I wear them underneath shorts to stop the chafing. You haven't tried exercising without them. Now that I've lost way, maybe I won't chafe anymore. But still it's just a comfort thing.

Yeah, I don't chafe as bad now that my legs aren't rubbing constantly.

But then I.

Realized that those bike shorts that I wear, the tight skin things, I don't go up to my gun.

They just go from the waist down.

They're really handy. If you don't want your shirt to come untucked. If you wear that under your shirts, tuck the shirt into that and tie the knot around one of the buttons.

So it won't come up.

That's good.

The problem is, though the bike shorts are quite long, they go down to your knee.

You have to wear And I did a.

Whole fucking comedy show in Brisbane.

I was wearing a black pair of shorts and you could.

See the bar. That's hell.

But we live and we learn. For Adelaide and Perth, I fucking hacked them.

With all right, we should go. Let's get out of here.

Yeah, sure we better.

Thanks for listening everyone, Thank you.

I'm liking this moment. You' it's an interesting.

Now.

I know it wasn't a real genuine compliment. You just did it for another gag.

It's a good aea.

I love BTS. You know her favorite members who drink.

Cook I'm sure who has the is again?

You know? I was.

I had a little Disney marathon the other night. I watched well, I watched Groove, Muster.

Seen Yeap hook by hook and by.

What happened to Maddie McCann, Oh she was she.

Wants to there was someone who everyone thought was Maddie McCann. No, they missed it.

Yeah, because it was all to do with the wrong look.

Yeah, that's fair.

You know, her parents have done everything press interviews. The one thing they need to do is realizable.

And not a cookbook.

Definitely not. I mean, what would they do the flavors of pride deluge?

I don't know. Oh God, we sound cooked.

We need to go. Let's go do the do the catch call.

Oh yeah, of course.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today.

That's all so we do, But we do, we do, all right, see you guys in a couple of days.

Yeah, we'll catch you on Wednesday.

To get by idiots? Bye? Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of me.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.