#160: I'm Always Unhappy with Louis Hanson

Is It Just Real? Hosted by a couple of mitches. Hello, are you yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood?

Smell and it's kind of fun?

Just you?

You feelthy unhinged bitch?

Honestly, what's wrong with you? Hub and sirtual coos?

Hell?

Are you Cura you Kiora coming to us live from where you on a boat?

You idiot?

No?

Well, I was on a boat, but I'm currently on a Perky's floating bar on Lake Wakati. Who in Queenstown, New Zealand. Wow, So it's like a fairy that doesn't go anywhere.

It's just a floating bar.

Oh, like a giant pontoon.

Yes, essentially, So basically I'm in New Zealand at very short notice.

Now, can you explain what's going on? Because for the first time in the history of Is It just Me? Almost a five year run on the cloud awards millions of dollars in ad revenue, you, Mitchell, are taking a show off for the first time.

Well, am I, because I'm here now, aren't I?

Are you going to get into an argument over this? I you are here and you've made the effort, but you're not going to be here for the whole show, right.

Yeah, so listen.

I've been a podcasting bitch for quite a few years, and never in the history of my podcasting career have I taken a day off. Not Makeup of Tea, never took a day off, Schnitty Committee, never took a day off, trash Allie, never took a day off apart from that time that I quit the whole show. However, today, Mitchell, at your suggestion, you said to me, Mitchell, you're on a spontaneous holiday.

Yeah, take the day off.

And I just couldn't help myself from popping in and saying, hey, I'm literally here to say that I'm not here.

Literally, I'm such an enabler. I just thought, I felt you deserve a trip. You deserve to relax and not have to worry about the show. We're more than capable of getting a fill in host, which we have who is standing by ready to take over. So is there anything you need to get in, Mitchell, anything you want to say before you head off and sit on the non moving boat.

All I want to say is that you are a little bit too excited at the thought for me being away.

I'm not.

Because I said to you, I'm more than happy to do the show when I get back to Sydney. And then I'm more than happy to do the show from New Zealand.

And you said.

No, no, I insist, just don't bother. So it sounds like you want to get rid of me, and I won't stop.

No, I don't.

I just want you to know that it's an option. And also it makes me feel as guilty about the three fill in shows that I've made you organized because I've just fucked off without a care in the world.

Ah, surely we're up to seven.

No, no, and we don't need to take account. We don't need to count. The time zones are all off, Mitchell. So it's almost bedtime for you now. You think you for popping in and saying Hi, I do miss you. Don't forget whenever we go on a trip, we have to bring each other back again. So I'm expecting a New Zealand tree.

I've already got one. Oh, I've already got one. Oh God, you're good.

Now I feel bad for reminding you.

Yeah, No, I'm on it, Mitchell.

Like all I can hear are seagulls. This is the worst place to record a podcast ever.

Yeah, well I'm on holiday, so sorry about that.

You look gorgeous.

How do I flip the camera on this shit?

Let me just paint a picture. He's on a barge. I can see the beautiful mountains. Whereabouts are you?

What city Queenstown, New Zealand. There's a seagull. He's the offensive seagull making all this noise.

Shut up.

There's the mountain ranges, beautiful es. There's Lake Wakatipu. That's the gondola that I went up the other day. And then I want to that canyon swing today.

Oh my god, Wow, you haven't the time of your life, Mitchell.

You know those swings where you sort of dangle from the air for a little bit and then with absolutely no notice, they just let you go. Wow, you catapult into the abyss. I did that today, Mitchell.

Save all this.

We want to hear about it next week. Don't blow you low. This is next week's conversation.

Oh well, I'll just go fuck myself, man, have a good show.

We love you, Mitchell, we miss you. Congratulations on your first six show. Half sick show.

I'm not sick, and just so you know, and I want all of our idiots to know that this is I've got mother's guilt over this. I can't abandon our podcasts. This is a huge deal for me.

I know you're not abandoning, but you're I guess you are the maternal figure on the show. I'm the paternal figure on the show. I think leave you know, and like your dad has to maybe sit or your dad takes you driving like you don't. You don't trust him, but please trust me. I'll be good.

No, I have full faith in you. But please don't make any jokes about ha. We never needed him. Ah, we don't need Mitch. Because I will take it to heart.

I just know it. Play.

You will take it to the cutting room four and you will edit them out. And I would never make a joke about you ever, and not in that regard our friendships too.

I'm not editing this week's episode either. Who the fuck's editing?

Are you actually not editing this?

No, I'm on holiday, mate, I'll do it.

I'll sort it out. I'll pay someone, we'll put on the kideo, we'll outsource the editing. Don't worry anyway.

Have fun, all right, but it's my week off.

Have have fun. Enjoy your week off, enjoy New Zealand, can't wait to hear all about it next week, and relax. Okay, have fun. We miss you, we do, we really miss you.

Oh thank you Darland. Hey, can I just say one thing? Yeah, if I could, You'll love this as a radio guy. If I can hook and tease to next week's episode. When I'm back, I will explain why the fuck I've done a spontaneous New Zealand trip. And let's just say that explanation will require another group therapy session.

Oh cry, I'm not in trouble, am I. That's all I want to know.

No, no, no, it's actually because you and I have the same therapist. We've done We've done a group therapy before a few weeks ago, all about the weight loss, body image crap.

And I've got another group therapy for you.

Oh my god. All right, therapy is galore next week on the show. Mitchell, my celebrity filling guest who is nowhere near as beautiful and as funny as you are. Don't worry is in reception. Go enjoy your barge. I'm gonna let him in. Guys, we're gonna well, let's take a break. I'm gonna go bring in our filling host for this week's episode with it. You're gonna have to wait and listen to find out, Mitchell, go on, go on, tell me all right. It is the one and only

I've had the week off.

Okay, very funny, very funny. Louis Hansen is here in reception, and he's too gorgeous to be kept waiting, no doubt, in some sort of denim overall number or a leather jacket and a crop top. I can't leave him waiting.

Oh shit, now I've got foumo. I love Louis. I can stick around. It's fine here.

Get on your barge and fuck off and we'll see you in a week. Enjoy your trip, relaxed.

Feel guilty?

Can we have Louis back on when I'm there so we can have him as a guest.

Let's see how it goes. First, he's in my capable hands. I mean, Louis heard that I was in my slut era and he said, can I can? I co host? I won't, No worries Louis slide right in.

Oh my god, I just that's not what happened at all. I can't keep up.

I was going to say, is Louis even single? Maybe he is?

Loui is.

Don't you worry Louis Is? Maybe not after this episode, I've tried to fuck you for five years and you wouldn't let me anywhere near it. So this year, maybe I'm in the era of marrying my co.

Hosts Darling, I'm on the spectrum. You've got to make it really obvious if you're trying to fuck me. I've never once detected any signals of that situal.

We're not going into this now. You know, in the early days, I wanted to get right up in you. In the first twelve months, I was horned up by you.

You never told me that, actually, sorry, I've got all the time in the world. You never told me that You've only made jokes in passing, and I assume they were jokes.

Did you actually want to enter me?

Yeah, one hundred percent yes in the first But yeah, before I got to know you, I was going to say.

What changed? And then you fucking got to know me?

Our friendship got closer, and I went now, that will not be happening. Let's just do a podcast instead. You know, I'd argue that a weekly podcast for five years is far more intimate than one night inside each other?

So would I? Wow, are you going to propose soon or time?

Will tell? Go enjoy your trip. Louis Hanson's here, get Audi. Yeah, we'll see you next week. Mitchell, Okay, we'll tell Louie.

I said, hi, I will.

I'll send Louis your regards. He's in reception, guys, I'm going to go and get him now. Then we're going to start the show with special guest, comedian online sensation, gorgeous, handsome person Louis Hanson see image.

One more thing, one more thing.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent better today.

That's all just three percent.

You can't relinquish control, so we do.

That's all of my obligations fulfilled.

Bye, heay, goodbye, Mitchell. Just move Hello you, Hello, everyone, Welcome to the show. Show just me. This literally is just me. For the first time ever the show is is it just me? And for this one moment it is just me. It's cheery here. We just kick Coombs out. He's on a barge in New Zealand. So for the first time in the history of the podcast, let's officially welcome in. He's a good friend of mine. You'll feel like he's a good friend of yours because he is

He's here, Lowell.

Welcome sound effects.

We have sound effects.

Oh my god, Louis, sound effects. They're the weight of my heart. And Mitchell hates my sound effects. He hates them.

I love sound effects. That was amazing.

Thank you. I have him on standby. Welcome to the show. How does it feel to me Mitch's first ever fill in host?

Hey, I'm feeling the pressure heavy. Is the he head that wears the crown? They say, And depending on how well I do today, this could be the only time that Mitchell Queen's has a replacement.

I don't know how this has happened, because he was so stressed about not doing the show and I said, just leave it. With me or sort it out. You didn't hear him because you were at reception in the building. But we just spoke to him on a barge in New Zealand, and he would he would not leave. He just couldn't relinquished control. I'm like, it's fine. And then he was so pissed off that I got you, who is of course gorgeous and hilarious. I think he wanted someone, you know, he wanted me to go low.

Oh my angel, No, Look, do you know what what did he say in the chat? Is he having good time?

He's having a great time. He booked the flight the day before he left. And then so this is why it's been such a clusterfuck, because we didn't we have the show. We didn't know who we were going to get. So he was a little stressed. But he's ziplining and bungee jumping. He's having the time of his life.

I was going to say, quintessential end Z experience. You've got a bungee jump.

Totally, yeah, you got. I would never do it, though, I'd be the type a person that it would snap and I'd be dead, or I'd get like you know how it like rides up in your groin and then you get that awkward photo of like of the gene dick, you know, and like the gene folds and you get the gene dick.

Yeah, let me tell you. I went Parasaaling two months ago on the shores of Nice, very splendid, but I had a crotch situation. Like the vista was beautiful and I was trying to admire, you know, the French shoreline, trying to spot some dolphins in the ocean if you will, of course, but I couldn't stop paying attention to the way it was riding up my crotch and it was really fucking painful.

And swear can we used to do what you want to do on Egypt?

It's another apply Yeah, hot it, Jim.

The best thing is, so the podcast is is it just me?

I I j M.

So we've been doing it for five years and we go, oh, so people ride in, they go, hi, guys, I've got a nidgyen but they spell it I T G E M and it's like, guys, that's not it's never been it. That's that's not. Some people think it's idiom, like id like idiom, which it's not.

It as well well, it just you know, you really have to weed out the loyal listeners to the disloyal listeners. In fact, what do you call your listeners again?

Oh, we call our listeners idiots.

Hi, idiots.

Hi.

I love me to be here. I feel like, yeah, this is quite a personal experience.

Well, you know what, bit of context, this is personal for us. We've known each other for a very long time, like pre your sort of your fame. I don't even remember how we met. You are famous and relaxed, and I can say it, do you remember you?

Well, I feel like the first time that we actually hung out for a considerable amount of time. I don't know how how much I can really divulge in this situation, or.

You're going to go there, Yeah.

Okay, there go look what I'll start off vague, and then we'll see how brave we're feeling, and then we can add more details, you know, if you just want the story to be spice. Yeah. But we met when we were both auditioning for a showyeh. And we went into a particular studio yep, for probably I think it was like a two or even three day intensive, I'm

Yeah, like a chemistry test to find out who had the best banter with each other.

Yeah. And I remember after the first day, I think they put us together once and I was like, oh, there was something.

I felt to do.

I felt it. Yeah, there was something electric there. And then I think I remember us coming back and then for the second day, I swear we did like two or three more chemistry reads together. Yes, and then I think at that point we kind of looked at each other and we were like, whoa are we the one.

Percent? And then we both kind of like colluding on the side messaging And it's like that unreleased footage of One Direction on the xpact to day where they've got headshots and they're putting together the group of the boy bands, and I went to the bathroom to like, you know, in between in between takes, and I see them on the wall and it's like Mitch and Louis and they're like holding it up. They're like, do we do?

Do we?

Mitch and Louis?

And then I think what happened was you and I felt so confident, and then COVID happened, right, and then the show never got funded.

It just died. Yeah, And it was devastating because in my mind, after those few days in the studio with you, I was imagining us like Kendall and Kylie walking down the met Gala together like that was that we were a janty that I was feeling.

Yeah, one had the simple life. I was getting very much Paris and Miss Ritchie. That was the vibe.

Yeah, and then we just never heard back from me.

Never happened, We never got a call back. But the best part is I've never told that story. We were like, it was you and me and then Francesco Hong miss Universe Australia. It was that gorgeous man, that gorgeous actor from Home and Away. Get them confused with very gorgeous man, very gorgeous man. Tiagan Nash, who is like the face of GoPro explore she like is currently on the base camp in Nepal about to trek Everest, and that it

And there are times where I think back to those two or three days and I just think, fuck, was that? Was that a fever dream? Did that actually happened? There was this brief bubble, this moment of time where they put ten of us together, only for us to never see each other again.

Squid Games, very squid Games esque. It was very fright.

We all died, all we all.

Died, our careers most definitely died. Well we're here now, Where would people know you from? Actually quickly? Just because you're you, You made been making content for It's not that long, right, A couple of years now.

A couple of years. I feel like there's been a few kind of facets in my life that people have followed me from. Like back in the day, I was a journal like nine to five journo, did a lot of writing, and I feel like, you know, a few

You got to do it. And it confuses the fuck out of my parents. They're like, oh, you know, a pop but you want to be in radio presented myne and what happened? I got my ear and Mum cried and she went, but what about TV?

What about what if you get? What if?

This is what she said, genuinely said, what if we'll lead? Arlie gets heal and they need you on the project and you've got an earring in Oh and oh I think I'll be okay. I don't think I'm the understudy for Wallyddarli more of a Pete Helliet kind of body type. Mum. But thanks for the thought. They're just they just can't understand that in this day and age, like you've got

You just never know. I mean, I was chatting to my friend Lucinda Rooms. We love her, love, we love, and we you know, things were looking a bit dry there for a week. The emails weren't coming in, and we looked at each other and we were like, should we just start a cafe?

Like?

Is that is that on the horizon for us? It could be you just never know.

Maybe not yet leave that that can be. That's my professional advice, five to ten years before the cafe. You've got more in you.

Thanks Mitch.

Okay, well, I'm excited to have you here for many reasons. We should start the show. If it is your first time listening, welcome to Is it just me? Every week we start the show the same way. Something we notice, something we hate or appreciate their igems. I normally don't know Mitch's, Mitch doesn't know mine. Louis, have you come prepared with any gem?

I always come prepared.

God, he's good.

Yeah, he's a professional. He's a professional.

Ladies and gentlemen, you told me before you have a couple. Have you settled on one?

Yeah?

I think so. I think I think this one. Actually, you know what, I'm not even going to provide context.

Oh okay, all right, well I'll go first to set the tone. You know I'm a giver, so let me let me lead the way, and then you ready to start the show. Let's do it, all right, let's go, baby?

Is it just me?

Do you also have very different types of showers for very different types of days?

Completely?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Let me set.

Let me set the scene. I have what I like to call an everything shower, the everything shower, which is like everything gets done, tit's toes, teeth, everything is scrubbed clean. I will get out and I will for loss. I will get on my bum bum cream and I will exfoliate in that shower, Louis and I will scrub my pits. I'll scrub the tits. Every bits will get scrubbed. I'm I'll do a full shave. I'll get the clipper out, I'll shave on manscape, I'll trim. I will then get out,

And how long does that take from start to finish? The entire process this everything showers, it's a seven day process. It's exhausting, and it doesn't end.

It's no, it's probably about it's really truthfully, about an hour, i'd say, but not in the shower. The shower is probably the quickest part. But like I'll do the full skin care. I do actually have an led face mask that like is like a twenty minute thing, like a red lion, But that's a that's a once a week thing. Then I'll have my every day shower, which I'm assuming you know you do you shower once a day or twice a day.

Look, I'm a one to two day person. I would say it depends how many times. Oh, I would say definitely once, okay, definitely once.

Good, that's the bar.

I don't I'm proud of that give me a gold medal. I shower, but yeah, sometimes twice. Yes, I'm sometimes twice as well. But most of the time it's just I'm a one shower day. I would brush my teeth in the shower, shampoo. I shampooed twice a week. There's no shampoo, it's just body wash, just cleanse, brush my teeth, and I'm out in two minutes. That's my every day. Are you same for you? For sure? Absolutely, It's just you know, we're getting the job done. We're in and out, We're

And then I've got one in the middle, which is which will be a little bit more. I might do like an exfoliation on the face. I might be going to an event, you know, and I might want to look a bit look a bit nicer. Maybe I'll do a midweek shampoo or a hair mask, you know. Maybe I'll check a bath in there in the middle of the week.

That's fascint. Sorry, I just thought about the fact that I have a confession. I haven't shampooed my hair this entire year.

What take that cap off a cap show me that cap, what's your what's your hair doing?

Oh my god, I.

And it looks fantastic, Louis, it looks clean. Well this is my theory though, is that you know, you know the women on TikTok, you know what they say, like after a while, like all the natural just goodies, just that you cleanse itself.

At least who says that?

Who the staff at the Tree of Life.

Louis, Please let me tell you. I'm not I'm not that type of person. I'm not the type of person. But like, yeah, I'm shack with oils.

That is so shit.

That's I will no, I'm going I need to google this.

I want to feel the hair I want because louis in Melbourne, guys, and I'm in Sydney.

I want not oily.

I promise it's not oily. It's gorgeous.

It is gorgeous. Your hairline, who's nice and thick?

What's that? What's that?

What are you?

What's your ethnicity?

Thank you country Victoria. Literally we're talking Shepperdon and we're talking Hamilton. We're talking on the cattle fane lawn.

Well you look, you look the hair looks gorgeous. So you don't shampoo that's how old are you though? What are we the same age?

I'm twenty seven, the same age, the same I wish.

Yeah, exactly same mate. Yes, I think it looks good. I have to do it twice a week though, but I would like to get out of it because my hair, my hair's got that real manicure to look and I'm trying to get out of it. I'm kind of over that. You know, you've got the real life. I could have just had great sex and rolled out of bed, or I could have just gone BMX riding, or I've just woke out.

But I look this good, you know well, I mean, look, thank you. But I'm going to return that compliment in saying that I envy your hair. I envy the perfect quiff. Yeah, thank you, Yeah, the perfect quiff quiff. I think it's stunny boofond. Well, it's glued in. I got it on the TikTok shot. Yeah, yeah, excellent, and it's really good.

Now are you googling this because I don't?

Yeah? Is it okay? If I don't shampoo, it's already not marked not washing your hair enough, mainly to conditions like dandrefort. It just got okay. So We're not going to talk about this.

Anyway, but just dug that hole for yourself, and I'm leaving all that in.

I think you're good.

We'll put a photo of Louis's hair, hairline, and crown on the Is it just me socials with a HD macro camera? Oh, the hat's back on. Look he's going bright red.

Bad.

That hat's going back on because I just feel like some days I wake up and the energy is giving. Put a cap on?

Yeah, no, for you, I can't wear a cap Louis. Have you seen me with a cap on? Oh my god, Louy, I need to find you a cap. It does something like it tears a hole in the time space continuum, and it just it does only find one.

The earth shifts on its axis, earth shatters.

I'll send you a photo because it's it's actually horrific because my hair right shapes my face. If I don't have hair, I am, you know Burt Newton Moments from Death. It is really grim.

Look at that book.

I'm trying to hide my quick You see that. That's not it's not No one wants to be near that.

It's stunning.

It's very round. It's like the moon emoji, especially with this tan that I've got going on at the moment in my led face lamp. You know, it's really cooking me up. Anyway, I just want to say, everyone, shake up your shower routine. Try and everything shower. It'll it'll revitalize you, get you ready for a week.

Really, it's funny that you kind of separated these showers based on the level of care, because I have different showers, but I would say they're more emotion based, if that makes sense.

Oh, interesting, go on.

And that's why showers can be so different to me, because I can have a board shower. Sometimes I'm bored, yep, and I need to feel in time, I'll have a shower. Yes, sometimes I'll have a performance shower where I just want to deliver a world tour. I'm going to put on the speakers, I'm going to put on your arianas your tailor's right, I'm going to perform like it's nobody's business. Yes, yeah, and that will always It'll vary day to day. But for me, it's it depends on the emotion, got it.

I really I love that I'm the same, I guess, But for me, a shower is it's practical, it's serving a purpose. I'm not like I want to get in and get out. It takes a lot for me to get in the shower. I've told this on the show before. Maybe it's TMI. You can share if you want. But I used to be a shower masturbator. Like I used to really enjoy like a shower wank. I really liked.

What do you do? You have a do you have a bath?

Like?

Is it a bath? Do we have you ever tried sitting down on the edge of the bath?

What? No?

Do you hold on sitting down on it and go?

I mean you said you can't stand up, sit down, take a load off, sit down?

Fuck you? Okay, all right, that's enough info for today, everybody.

But that's amazing. It takes me back to when I I was traveling. I have my gap year Europe six months away and it was with three guys, so lots of Airbnbs and no real privacy. So the real shower masturbating fantasy came to fruition on my gap year. It takes me back.

Yeah, it's a real active necessity, like when you need to do it, it's shower is the place to be. You know, it's perfect, It's kind of beautiful. It is beautiful. It's very romantic.

All right.

Well, I'm glad you know that about me now, and I'm I'm glad. I've got the mental image of you sitting over the edge of a bath going at it, and the world does too. All right, are you ready for your igim Louis Hansen.

Yeah, it's time, all right, let's go.

Is it just me?

Is it really easy to gauge whether someone is newly single by their social media posting habits?

Oh no, this is you're not coming for me here.

And when I was thinking about this one, I did think, oh, okay, Mitch might think this is a direct attack, but it's not. Consider this more a rite of passage, okay that we all have to go through I'm not saying this is you in particular, but I'm saying that there's been a few couples in my life recently where I've been curious as to whether they have been together or not. But you just you start to see a change in their

You are completely reading me filth.

This is I am.

I am reading.

I am reading you to filth. But I'm also reading myself to filth and every newly single person because I feel like it's a genuine rite of passage that we all go through. Well, because you're single, right, Louis, I am, I've been single for about a year now. Wait, well, hold on, because the day this because you were telling me before the day this episode drops Monday is yeah, yeah,

Yeah, so well deserved and happy one year singleton Singleton Singleton. Is that where you're from?

I single Singleton.

I feel you've thrived because I've been following you and you did it really well. I completely agree. You can tell when someone has broken up with their significant other, especially when they were a public couple. I mean I was a bit of a public couple, you know, with my ex for five years and then when you kind of have to go shit, like a lot of the content was with them, So I guess anything that I would have posted would have been a chain. I'm defending myself here.

No, no, that is very true.

Yeah, and you, well, you're one year out, you've post You've done really well though, Like I don't feel like you post. You post thotty stuff, but you're a gorgeous person. So you could put up, you know, a photo of you on the side of the bath tub and that would be perceived as being body.

You know.

Okay, let's post it to the gym instagram of me squatting over the bathtub, and then we'll just do a little bit of a pole about whether we think this is cute or not?

Okay, okay, wait, so are you because I am. I've spoken about it in the last few weeks. I'm in my I'm in my little hole era. I'm in my slut era, as Mitchell has coined it. Have you had one or you could give me some tips?

Yeah?

Absolutely, I mean I do need to say. I listened to the last few episodes and I was really really proud of you going on this journey, going in this as Mitch would like to say, the slut era. But I absolutely embarked on that this year and it has been incredible. Do you have any like, I don't know, do you have any questions? Do you have any Oh? Oh okay, oh my god? Yeah, Like, let's talk about it.

You're in Melbourne and I love I love Melbourne. I felt more. I don't know if you can speak to this phenomenon, but I feel like there is much more attention in Melbourne. Like in Sydney, the gay scene I feel is so looks based, you know, and there's such a there's such a group of gays in Sydney that I feel can isolate other small little pockets of gay people.

Yeah, Honestly, Sydney is savage. Sydney is so cutthroat when it comes to the gay community. I'd say that I'm like, in my mind, will I get canceled for these things?

But I do that.

In Sydney there's a bigger community, right yeah, but it's a bit more generic And in Melbourne it may be a bit of a smaller scene. But I just feel like there's it's more eclectic. There's like just more diversity amongst the mix.

Now I completely agree. Do you find that dating in Melbourne's easier than Sydney?

Define dating? Okay?

Are you dating? Are you messaging? Flirting? Maybe sending a voice message because that's a real power player. I love sending a voice message and then sometimes I'll progress straight to video message. That's my love language. Is also step messaging. That's the energy I need. And if it's not matched instantly done, then it progresses to like a date or a drinks, like a dinner or a drink, that's a date to me.

Yeah, oh my god? How good is flirting? How good is dating?

Oh, Louis, I love so much fun? How many people do you have on your current roster? Let's just be.

Real, Okay, So let's if we're going back this entire year, given that it is the anniversary, I would I would say that the end of last year I coped with the breakup by dating so many people. I dated so many people, and it was fun. It was really really fun. But then coming into the new year I kind of took a step back a bit because I thought, you know, what's all this dating good for if emotionally I'm not ready to just like get back in there. So then

Oh, like maybe I needed a one year exactly, Yes, to just cleanse myself of all the debauchery.

And then to go back deep in love to find you, to find your one? Do you know who you want?

Like?

What when you picture your dream partner? Who is it? Can you see them?

No?

When I think that's the issue, Yeah, I'm always I'm always unhappy. That's what we're gonna cook.

That's the title of the episode. Louis Hendson joins, Is it just me? I'm always unhappy?

No, I just don't know what do you mean.

High standards, because let's be real, let's just what. I don't want to beat around the bush. For God's sake. You are gorgeous and you're a beautiful You're beautiful inside and out. I know no, I know you, and you're a beautiful person. You're a kind soul, You're very very funny. You to many people are the dream man. So I imagine it would be very hard for you to date, and your standards set very high.

I think all of our standards should.

Oh my god, Lewie just picked up a placard that was written by his manager and he's reading it. It's written in bold text and he's just reading the car. Oh no, Okay, I don't know, honest, just you can be you, Louis.

I just don't know. I don't know what I want because then I like, I start talking to someone and we got on a date and it's like it's fun, But then I just find myself pulling away. I don't know if it's these like I don't know things from past relationships and I've built up these walls. But I think I'm in a real clean slate moment of my life where I want to dip my toe back into the dating world. But I just I don't know what I want. Okay, I don't.

Know what I want.

Okay, you're right, Well.

Did you you're a therapist?

I know this feels very fair therapy ast Also, I'm four months out of a relationship. Why am I helping you? I still cry myself to sleep. It's been twelve months for you. No, I don't. I don't.

But I did go out on a first date last week.

Oh my god. Okay, and how did it go?

It was really good?

Okay, nice?

Did you?

Did you hook up? What do you hook up on first dates?

I'm not opposed to that, and if anything, probably would have. But here's the catch. Here's the catch. We met at a Barry's class. We met at a Barry's class.

Why is that the catch? Yeah?

Because you want you understand, you understand. We met at a Barry's class and then we started talking. But for a first date, he invited me out to a brunch. Oh, and I just feel like that's very that's very you know, his energy. He likes to not spend you know, too many hours in the clubs. He wants to get up early.

Yes.

So this just felt like a very different but also welcomed twitcher.

Yeah, it signaled a progression to a different era of your life.

It felt very mature and calm.

Do you date older normally, Louis, or do you prefer younger?

I would prefer older?

Interesting? And when's your birthday?

October twenty fifth.

Okay, so I'm younger than you, So there you go. Then my oh shit, damn, damn. I was on domain looking for apartments with baths as we speak, fucking out.

But like, but here's the thing, though, I think I always just say I'm going on to a dating appro r. Yeah, my aim is to date someone older, but sometimes there's something about that, like younger charm. I'm talking like just like a couple of years younger, of course. Yeah, yeah, But there's something about a boy, a boy, a man in his like mid mid twenties who has a bit more fire about his chat than someone in their thirties.

Yes, I agree completely. I went on a day with a twenty one year old see, and it was so much fun. I gave a blowjob on a boardwalk see.

And do you know what? It's because they have a lust for life. Yes, I've got a lost for life.

He's like, do you want to do?

You want to have it?

You want a blow job. I'm like, we're on a boardwalk. He's like yeah. I'm like, yeah, that's the That's what I need to have in my life. So I did, Louis, I did. I'm not aware to say it. Where was the board I don't want to get too specific. There were public cameras at what time of day? It was a midnight after a first date?

That's great? And was that You're the most public thing sexually that you've ever done with.

A non partner. Yeah, but no, I've I've yeah, great, yeah, I've had yeah.

Yeah, yeah, okay, cool, just picture the.

Harbor Bridge and well, now one more question for you. Do you feel you've ever been in love?

This is a really big question.

This is big. And I've got my finger on the applause sound effect for a ninth time based on your day.

Have have your finger ready?

Okay? Oh my god?

Yeah no, so good?

So oh god? I love it.

Well.

You are deserving of love. You need love. And now that I'm single, I'm like, I want to help you find a love. It's fine, love together.

You know.

There were a couple of ways that I found out you were single without you telling me. Shall I go through them?

Yeah, oh my god, this is great. Yes, please.

I firstly got a notification from Raya. I get I get a Raya. Listen up, my gorgeous idiots. No, I get a notification on Raya and.

Which ray is the dating app for It's like, what is it? It's for people in the public eye. Is that how you describe it? Oh?

Look, I think it's started as that and now it's just evolved into something hideous.

It is.

It is not good. Let me tell you folks out there. Don't and it's fucking like twenty five dollars a month. Don't pay it. Yes, I'm still on it, but I'm just holding out for a hero. But I I've been on it for about a year and have never had a substantial chat with someone anyway I'm getting. I get this notification and I forgot forgot how it was worded, but it was essentially along the lines of Mitch is in your contacts, Mitch is joining Raya, do you know him?

Why do you paint me this loveless commer? Are sure best? Hayden, I'm leaving you. I falls asleep, wakes up, raya Ka, I'm matresspot con. So like, can fuck for the rest of the year on a free bed that I didn't pay for.

I mean, hey, all power to you. If you're going to do a break up announcement on TikTok, you may as well get a few stacks for it.

Well, let me just tell you I did the whole I haven't spoken about what went down and I never will. It's just not my style, not my and it's just very personal and I couldn't get through it without punching a wall, so I just don't. But that was like my way of just going I want to put it out there. Also, Mitch's hooked up with listeners. Our listeners, who are all beautiful idiots, are gorgeous, and I'm like, I need to let them know that I'm on the market.

No, after the past couple of episodes, did you have any idiots slide into the dams?

Yes?

How many? Yes?

Like half a dozen perhaps.

Half a dozen. They said we heard that you sleep with listeners. Hello, I am.

Yeah, most definitely.

Yeah. And you said that you with the bows are looking for a peach. I am a peach.

I love that you got that reference. Thank you, thank you, oh right away? Is that is how we need to define ourselves sexually going forward? I'm a real bowser. Look into red Shell someone.

You're listening to?

Is it just me? You got something on your mind?

Hit up at a couple of Mitchell's on Instagram to get yourself on the shoe?

All right, Louis, Yeah, you and I have just done him?

Is it just me?

It is now time to go to the phones and get him? Is it just you? On the air, this is where we let our beautiful idiots voice one of their concerns, something they've noticed, they hate or appreciate. Shall we take one? Shall we go to the phone.

I'm so excited for this.

This is very exciting. We're going to bris Vegas today. The One and Only Luke joins us.

Hi Luky, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hi?

How I just the boys, just the boys, lads together.

What are you doing?

Oh?

Just did the bush turkey? But I'm fine?

You know.

What is that?

No?

Not euphimism, No, gosh, no, they're like the seagulls of suburbia. These bush turkeys.

What do you mean they just wander around Brisbane?

Do they?

Are you skilled in Brisbane? They steal everything? You're caribou?

Wow? Good? Are they?

Are they hunted for sport? Or can you eat a bush turkey? Or they're in danger?

Actually I'm pretty sure someone did try and eat a bush turkey. But yeah he's incarcerated.

Yeah right, best to not do that? Best best did? He sits in prison? All right, look, well let's get you on. Bradley will count you in and then you hit us with your region.

Okay, oh oh it's happening so fast.

Oh get ready, the time is now.

Look we don't beat around the bush. We aren't no bush turkeys here, no ab All right, Bradley's counting you relaxed. Okay, have you heard the show before?

Yes, I've heard the show.

You got this, Okay, I support you.

Take it debrief already, Okay.

I want to be friends with Luke.

Yeah, Luke, I like those.

Like h well, louis in the wise words that mister g The show is not about you. It's about the show. Okay, So let's all calm down.

Well, Okay, Luke and I could either be best friends. I would be throwing a margarite.

I'm staying out of this, all right, Bradley, go for her?

Is it just me?

Is a legitimate anxiety when you take out up like when you take up your polaroids to the young girl at kmart and she's said judging you when you pick them up, and fifty five year old Sandy is looking at you like you've just committed a crime.

Oh oh, I've been in this situation when you go to get photos developed at Camart or like a Digi direct, because they actually have to look through the films and develop them and they see their images.

The amount of times I thought I was going to prison?

What photos?

Yeah?

Well, no, anything these days is apparently illegal. What do you mean, let's not go into that.

Now, the use of anything? What are you taking photos?

Sometimes?

You know, sometimes you just you know, pop in a paracetamol and you take a little photo of it, but you don't know they're actually going to you know, thought, well.

I thought you were talking about like nudes. Look, because I've been there in there. Yeah, yeah, No, I've been in that exact situation. I don't know about you, Lou, but I shoot like thirty five millimeter film, like when I go on holidays, I take my little cannon and I shoot film. Yeah. And then when I first was in my last relationship, very very in the early days, you know, and you're still real horned up for each other.

Talking about the judgment that the law, like, we don't need that judgment, Okay. Can I also just say that if you're into some shower stuff, the waterproof polaroids that have come out, please.

Oh my god, we were this is so much talking about that this episode, we were just discussing shower stuff.

Oh really, well, no, seriously, the waterproof poloids you can now you can take them into the shower, take as many photos as you want, and you can go get them to do it.

You are you are an animal?

Oh no, bush turkey, but.

Hold on, hold on. So the camera itself is waterproof?

Well I think so, I don't. I don't know how physics works, but I'm assuming.

Have you seen these, Louis?

No, I didn't know these existed in waterproof.

The free word Google search, so.

I can drop you at any moment, Luke. So well, that's so interesting. Do you shoot film, Louie? Do you ever do anything like that?

I don't honestly. Yeah, so sorry, no.

No, I don't blame you. You're a camera role bad? Is your camera roll full? Do you have a hidden folder, Louis?

Do you know? Okay, so last week I decided that I needed a hidden folder because, you know, just over the last little while, twelve months perhaps twelve months, twelve months of single life has passed, and yeah, I find myself more and more when I show someone my camera role, getting fucking terrified about what will show up. So I had this come to Jesus moment where I was like, I need I need a private albudo.

And do you have one of the apps that's disguised as a disguised as a calculator, or do you have the hidden app on iPhone?

The hidden folder? Sorry, the hidden folder? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah.

Oh my god. Louis warning though, the hidden folder if you plug it into a computer doesn't work, and if you plug your phone, because I did it to Mitchell the other day. Mitchell went, oh, can you we did the bar class for our hobby hunt, and there's that bush Chack coming back for revenge.

Sorry, no, it's just getting aggressive. It's fine.

Mitch goes, can you send me the videos from our bar class? And I go, sure, they're really large. He goes, plug your phone in, So I plug it in. All these nudes open up on his computer. Yeah yeah, he sees them all. He sees all the It's ruthless.

And that's why I don't trust the cloud either, don't I don't know.

Let's be honest, the cloud's not really the.

Cloud's not real. And after what happened to Jay Law, you know, like I don't trust all right, look, we're gonna let you go. You it sound like you're in the middle of a corrump and bird sanctuary. For Christ's sake, a bit of respect for the show, all right, thank you, Luke. A DM price will get you a prize. Okay, no worries unhinged he was. I loved him and then I hated him. Very quickly.

I oscillated between the two.

You got very quiet. At one point, I'm like, they're gonna fucking throw so soon he's upset.

My guests of honor Ice storm out out of the studio. No, we we love Luke. I would genuinely want to have a couple spicy mugs.

If you want to get in touch and heaving. Is it just you on the show? Slide into the DMS, a couple of mitches and we'll get you on. Okay, Louis Hansen is here. Everybody is my god us co host. First time in IJIM history that Mitchell Coombs has been away. He is absent, But Louis, you're doing a brilliant job.

Thank you. Does it feel strange to be talking to someone different?

No, to be with another to share the company with another man. No, Because I love you and I adore you. That's why, that's why I chose you.

I love you. I'm just honestly so happy to be here. And I know I think we've already said this, but it bears repeating. You are in your sexiest fucking error right now. Yes, you're thriving, You're thriving.

Stop it. I feel good. No, I genuinely feel good. It's something that you and I were talking about before we turn the mics on. But you know, it's just like, and you found confidence. I don't know what's going on, but like, I've never had this period in my life, you know, so it just is a nice little I feel twenty one again. It's really weird, I really do.

It truly is a rebirth, and there's just something so freeing about it.

It's nice.

So it's yeah, it's really incredible to see. And so when you asked me to be on the show, I was just like, fuck, I would love to sit down for an hour or so and talk to this incredible human.

My god, bless you, bless Yeah. But if I was fat three months ago, you would have said no. Is that what you saying? Interesting? No fats, no fans.

I've just been fuck off.

I've just seen I was actually matched with you in Melbourn. I don't want bring it up, and you blocked me.

No, You've always been a sexy motherfucker. Get over there. You're trying to be so candid and alm down down.

I've got so many sound effects. Mitch hates the sound effects, Louis, he just doesn't enjoy them.

No, I actually love a sound effect me too.

Because they add to something like if I were to say to you, like I'm gonna tell a story, right, and I got Louis, Oh my god. I stayed at my men's house. She lives in Woollongong, in this old, old, dilapidated house, right, And it's it's an attic. That's where I stay when I'm staying with my Alma, you know, covered in cobwebs. And I opened the door of the attic, and what do I see? But I see a porcelain Dutch doll in wooden clogs and its eyes move, Louis,

I just got shivers.

Talk about your European trip. It's a Greek national anthem.

That's how I felt after my first threesome.

That's the best. Yeah, come on, he did.

Grettism is what you're saying. Your thrusting started those Greek bosh fires? Is that what happened?

Louis No, that is that is too real as someone who was in those Greek bush fires.

Hold on, tell me about the tell me about this the Greek reason? What happened? Are you happy to disclose?

Goodness? Well, see, this is this is my dilemma a moment, right. I had so much fun in Europe and I get.

Close to the microphone. You can turn your microphone rider so you don't have to speak loudly.

I lived so many lives in Europe. Yeah, there was so much debauchery. It was hot, it was sweaty. But I've come back to Melbourne and I don't know if I can divulge all of the details of my stories because there was some debauchery. But one night I engaged in a menajati first ever.

A third, third ever, third ever threesome, third ever threesome, first in Europe, and funny, funny, I say, mena it was.

It was in nice of all. I think the day after I went parasailing.

Oh my god, because the crotch was so horn up from the belt.

Actually, let me just tell you life has two great pleasures, parasailing and threesomes.

I can I mention, how did you have one other person or did you have the two? Were you looking? Were they looking for a third? Come on? Give me something?

They were a couple, of course they were from America. I'm still trying to do the sultry voice.

Oh sorry, because the music you can.

Cut the cameras.

Cameras.

No, I love, I love out of my I love that. I'm talking as if I'm so well versed in threesomes. I've had three threesomes. But the uh yeah, the experience in Nice was really fun because I love I love doing it with a couple because I am the prime possession, Like all the attention is on me, and that's so fun. Oh my god, that's so true.

So do you are you like? I mean, I don't want to. Are you like at their disposal? Is that kind of what's hot?

Like?

Are you sort of you know, do do with me what you will to get you guys off? Or is it is that not?

Well, that that is very that's kind of hot. That is kind of hot. I will admit that, but this felt very even though I was the newbie, the stranger in the situation, we were all on the same level, you know. It just felt very primal.

Wow.

And the best part about it is was it one of those reasons where they kind of hate fucking their relationships about to break up? So this is the act of saving it? Like could you see the tension in their eyes? Or are they very much in love?

I was shocked because midway through they'd like look at each other and be like, oh, I love you so much.

Yeah, so it was you were like, sorry, direct is that directing that to me?

Yep?

I love you too? Yeah, Like I get a bit jealous if the attention wasn't on me for five cents. But no, it was great to see that dynamic between the two of them. I love that we're having this conversation right now.

It's fine, be comfortable, but just be open and I'm glad you feel comfortable. Like once again, I am your therapist. I always fall into this role.

I'm doing it for the idiots out there. Well.

When I can't wait for my first three three, Louise, third three is Mitch's first threes, I need a speech pologist. I can't wait, and I'll call you and let you know how it goes.

Okay, it will be everything and more. Trust me. Before I engaged in one, I thought that I would be the person in the corner that was left out, Like they're kind of jerking each other off, and I'm in the corner like cutting up some sliced oranges for everyone, like handing out some gatorade that energy. But you know, what all you need to do is just find the right couple. And I swear by the couple theory because then they really focus on you know.

But you and I come from like happy, healthy, Like your parents are still together, Yes they are, so are mine. Do you think that's fucked us? Like, do you think that's really fucked us? Because we have this vision of pure pure that my parents are so in love Louis, Oh, yeah, that's what I want. I want a husband that can be in love with me in forty years, in the same burning desire that they had for me when we first met.

I think that that is a very valid reason. Like my parents are the same, like I love my I actually see similarities with your parents and my parents. Like when you talk about your dad and stuff, because my parents are absolute teddy bears as well. Yeah, but I see their relationship, and I see my brother and my sister in law's relationship. They've been together for about ten years.

Yeah, And for me, so I see it all.

Yeah, with my niece and so, you know, I'm surrounded by really you know, incredible, strong relationships, and I'm thinking, yeah, maybe that has fucked me over a bit because I'm like, well, if it's not up to their standard in my eyes, then I don't want it.

My god, I'm so similar, very very similar. And now I'm falling in love with Louis Hanson and I'm staring into his eyes down the zoom camera. Something's happening. Let's move on. We're gonna play this with Louie Hanson. Let's go a little darkness smile. Sound of Silence, which is a game that we play with many of our guests. It is where we challenge them to call someone in their contact list and hold a phone call for as long as they can. Now, the timer will start when

Yeah, great, I'm excited. I really want to start off so broad and vague to just see what twists they get themselves into.

One percent. But you also, I will say, the rules are you have one bridging phrase, so if you feel, if you're feeling that they're about to hang up, you can add one Oh.

Wait, okay, cool, yeah, yes, yes.

Yes, you have something, but it can't be how is your day too much? No? No, no, no, just just something to keep it going, you know, edge them a little.

This is incredible.

Yeah, it's a lot. Carla from Bankstown, I believe see Mitch's the brains of the show. I'm I'm just the beauty. He remembers the times and who did well. But Carla from Bankstown, I believe Eloi's f Toss did really well. I think she's the last one we did it with. Anyway, let's see how long you go for. Okay, Louis, who are we calling today?

Today? We are calling my lovely, lovely dear friend Tully smythe I love Tally.

Tully was on Big Brother a couple of years ago, right, yeah.

She was, She's been on a couple of times, and she is a dear friend. We've become very close over the past year or so, and I just think that she would be so funny for this.

Okay, all right, well, I'm going to get my time around. You have one question, then full silence, Louis, do not speak. How long can you keep Tully smile on the line.

For and only only one?

Like?

Correct?

Correct, You'll be fine. You've got this. Let's dial Tully. The timer will begin after the first question is asked, Hi, have court Tully?

I never checked my real friends leaving us in the dust?

Right, do you want to you want to try anyone else else? You want to? Frooms is on a flight?

Yeah, yeah, I mean we can try Lucinda. I don't know when her flight is.

Why don't we try try your mum? What's her name? What are the details?

We're calling my best friend in the world, my mother?

Oh, blessed on the socials. She's she's gorgeous, she's an icon.

Oh, she she is everything and more, and I think she'd be great for this, because, bless her soul, when she gets on a tangent, she will not stop.

Oh love. Okay, well, you've got one one question to ask, so make sure it's a good question to keep her going. And then one bridging sentence, we're calling your beautiful mother. You're feeling okay? Can I dial?

Let's dial.

I'm tapping out this all you.

This is truly Please leave the message and I'll get that cue.

Do not disturb.

Oh, this is brutal.

Because maybe it'll push through. Do not Yeah, No, her phone's off.

Her phone's off.

Should we try dad?

Okay, Yeah, let's try dad.

This is great.

We should just leave all this in and not do a prank call.

I know, honestly, like the fact that we've been trying to frank all of these people. No one picks up. Imagine if I truly needed help right now, no one's picking Up's a ship for Paul Louis. Okay, we're calling my father, the love of my life, mister Andrew Hanson.

Oh my god, I've seen him in the content. Your dad. Your dad's a silver fox. He's a gorgeous man.

He is such a sweetheart and I'm just obsessed with him. I don't know how long he will talk, though, so this will be very interesting.

Okay, well, let's try it. Let's call your dad. Sound of silence starts from the first question, so ask him a question and I'll start the timer.

Okay, he called Andrew Hansen. I can't take a call just now, believe.

Wait, wait, So for the first for the first time in GIM history, we have called three people who refuse to pick up.

Oh my god, you know what, let's leave it there. That's the end of the show. Everybody.

I think that no one loves me enough to pick the fuck up.

This is the best.

Not we wanted to beat the record, but in fact you have set a record, the shortest ever sound of silence call in the history of vision. I love it all right. I think that's a perfect note to end on.

Leuis, thank you for coming on the show. Yeah, I love you.

Oh we had so much fun. Louis Hanson on all socials, TikTok and stuff. You know, I'm sure you've got a twitch. There'd be linked in there.

Oh there'll be something. Yeah, just go explore. Just yeah, tap away.

You'll find give him a follow you do any live shows with with froms you listen to price or not? None coming up?

None coming up? But I will say there are some in the works, but I can't reveal any information.

Oh my god, all right, we can't wait.

Thank you for we have nothing on I just like you love that.

I gave you a bone through your bone free from all right, Thank you for coming here. Guys will see you. Thank you for coming here like this is a delicate Coles. Thanks for coming everyone. We're back next week, Coombs, we'll be back. Jenna will be back as well. Normally we have our prize keeper, our third wheel, but Jenna was a no show. She has an ear infection.

Louis, damn, it's just been you and I.

I think we held the ship, held the fort down.

I think we can't killed that.

I'm not gonna lie Browser and Peach.

Baby.

If Mitch ever dies, let's start a podcast just Bowser and Peach. I think that'd be brilliant.

Yeah cool, I'm sure he's gonna love hearing that.

No, it'll be fine. He listen to this because he's seething with jealousy. But we do miss your Mitch and Louis miss you pay to have you see you next week? Idiots, goodbye bye?

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

A welcome to add brief. I've actually never said that, Louis Mitch always brings in a d D brief. That's the first time in my whole history of hosting this podcast that I've said that.

That's rather profound.

It's pretty big.

Welcome to add brief. I can't even remember what Mitch says. Nothing is prepared, nothing is rehearsed. We have ADHD. So this is where we just go off lim we debrief on the show, and we talk shit. So you can't be mad at something that he said in this part of the show because it's not planned. It's not the real show.

Thank you. I'm kicking off my open toad sandals kick them off.

Is that a Greek? Did you buy that in Europe? Because that was the energy of the trip.

No, I got them. These are from Roden Gun.

Oh, so so what I expected from Greece.

I was expecting you.

To go, Oh, you know, I was in Nice and I had just been fucked by two American body builders. And then I was walking through the streets and stopped off in a gorgeous little hole in the wall. Oh that's funny.

Yeah.

No, I didn't buy any lovely Grecian sandals that I've just I've stuck to my roden gun and I also have some added ass slides.

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Well, you're a bit of a fashion boy. I do admire your looks. You turn a look, Louis, You're very good at that.

Do you know what? Thanks? Because I love I love fashion, but I don't know. Look, I wouldn't say that I have incredible fashion, but I love fashion. I think fashion's fun.

I agree with you. I don't have a I don't think I've got a great sense of fashion, but I enjoy it, and I enjoy when someone else can put me in nice clothes and I go, oh, I feel nice in these. But I could never I don't have the eye. Oh, I don't have a brilliant eye to do it myself.

Yeah isn't that? I mean, how fun to have someone do it for you?

Oh my god, I know.

I'm having a having a similar ish at the moment. In terms of an eye for styling. I'm trying to fill in my place with furniture. We're talking art, We're talking I don't fucking know what else you put in a fucking house, And I don't know what's happened to me. But now that I've been, you know, given this position to be like, okay, I can I need to fill in an apartment such house? I don't know where to start.

Oh my god, Well I I'm like, I can help you. So I do you live alone?

I live alone?

You live alone? And you've got a big house, right, I see stories is like a backyard and is there a trampoline?

There is a trampoline. There is a backyard and a trampoline.

Well, so your brain went, I don't know if I need a couch, not quite sure if I need a kitchen island, but you know what I do need a trampoline absolutely.

Say less. Say less. I've lived in this house for about about a year now, and it looks so fucking empty. I'm embarrassed to have people over, but then I just distract them by showing them my trampoline.

So smart. Do you ever have guys over and go, hey, do you want to go out on there. Do you want to go on the trampoline?

No?

Because usually when they come over it's like three am and then they're out by four am.

Three am is late.

It's the Devil's hour.

Gluie, that's really late. Do you get horned up before bedtime?

Sometimes it just hits you really odd hours of the night, and you know when it comes to your nine to five hours or even just your before midnights, I'm dedicating that time to my nearest and dearest.

Of course, you're a family boy.

There's there's places to be, there's people to see, and so then you know, you get to a certain part of the night. It could be three m. Alcohol may have been consumed prior.

Yeah, that gets me going, Yeah doesn't it just doesn't. Just no one red, two red, I'm ready to I'm jump I'm jumping on and I'm going to town. But three, No, I can't. It's like me in the shower, I can't. I can't have any more than three and fun really yeah, no way, I can'tme out, I'm done.

Is that is that just red wine? Or is that all alcohol?

Alcohol?

All?

Two?

But between two and three is my sweet spot of like ultimate horniness and fun and then I'm in full control. But anything else and I just can't, like, I'm no good in the sack after three drinks.

It's just like it's it's it's a tipping point drinking the third drink?

Are you okay? Can you do it with more than three drinks?

Hell?

Yeah, we're so cool, we sound so hot. I'm like, I can't get erected in the shower. Also, if I had more than three Yellowtail charazas, my dick is like a wet rag ah embarrassing.

But but but there's no.

But, Louis, it's I worry about I overshare and I say absolutely everything that happens in my life on this podcast, and I go, if it gets to a point with a guy, right, I'm leaning back now, if it gets to a point with a guy where you know, it's three, four, five dates in and you're going, there could be something here. They would have listened to the pop if they had a podcast where they spoke about their life, I'd want to listen to that show. I'd want to hear them.

Oh, absolutely, And it sounds like by the amount of people that you have fucked in recent times. They do listen absolutely very true.

No, but like a like a love interest. You know, my question to you is and should I stop and should I not talk about any of this? Because is it? Is it a turn off? Is it not? Is it not endearing?

I'm not.

I think you need you need to keep going, you need to persevere, don't give up, don't stop fucking because the joy it like even the joy I had in listening to some of the past few episodes, like they do say, No they don't. I was gonna say the devil's in the details.

But like I mean, they do say that.

I think, yeah, they do say that, but I don't think that's what I wanted to say in that time. But what I'm trying to say is like those little gems are the reason why the podcast is so good, and you want to keep listening because you want to hear about all the specifics. Who wants to listen to an hour of people just being vague? So I think it's great, and you're a great storyteller as well, So it just it's still in stop the compliments I do.

Oh my god, this is so interesting. Oh this is so interesting. So are we talking drinks or this is just sex in general?

We are talking in general, but exacerbated by drinks. Absolutely.

Do you have a preference, like are you are you like what where? What's your prefer are you bows? Are you peaching?

Well, you know what's really really funny?

Or Yoshi?

Are you Yoshi? Which means you know you're kind of Yoshi at the moment.

Eggs, Yeah, it was. I had this moment when I was looking at the two men in nice during our threesome, and I went, I'm Yochi because I used to the past couple of years. I definitely used to be peach. Yes, but something's come over me now and I'm just like, oh, like, love is love, bodies and bodies do as you please.

Yes, yes, it's all about pleasure at the end. Of the day, you'd be Bowser.

And I'm sure you can attest to this, or maybe not, because you're I'm assuming pure Bowser vibes. But I look at someone and I go, I am Bowser, and then I'll look at someone else and I'll go, my fucking god, peach me up.

Interesting, interesting, I'm yet and I'm so open to it, I really am. But I am yet to have that feeling of, you know, save me from my castle, me and my little toad come and come and destroy me. I'm peach I just haven't had that. I've never had that rush over me, you know. And if it does, I'm down for it. But my energy very much lies in the Bowser of it.

All.

You're you're you're scaling that castle.

I am. I'm scaling the castle, and I'm I'm so envious of Mario and I and it's all I want. I just want to bowser. But I mean my exploration era, so who knows, who knows?

I could peach it up, And that's what it's all about.

I think I'd be more of a shy guy if I was, if I was in that environment. I mean, I don't know what part of the Marvel cinematic universe, you for but I be a shy guy, all like a Luigi like, I'd go there, but also I'd kind of be a bit coy about it because it'd be my It would be my real first time I and I have done it. I don't enjoy it, but it would be my you know, early days for me in that territory.

Yeah, and you know when we flip the switch and you're in bowser mode, you don't have to be coin shy.

You go, Oh my god, I believe I'm breathing fire. I'm breathing absolute fire. Back to back to Coming, Let's circle back.

Back to Welcome Back.

To Coming with Louis Hanson and Mitch Jury. Today we're talking volume and timings. I My volume recently has been fantastic. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm drinking more water on my hot girl walks, but they're maybe I'm more like enjoying it more because it's like hookupy. But oh, the sheer volume, it's fantastic, amazing, really good. A lot of tea am I there? I will. I often prefer to come second, but I will always always get there. I'm pretty easy to get off do you do you struggle?

I think yeah, yeah, And I think though the more, like you know, over over this past year, this gorgeous, gorgeous year, I have developed a I'm not gonna say regular roster, but there's like a couple of people that you know, we've slept with each other a lot of times now, and so for me maybe it's just the comfortability and after a while, like sleeping with someone for a few times, something switches in me and it's like,

Do you have a like anxiety? No?

Yes?

Are you medicated for that?

Now?

Do you have like a worst hookup story? Is there one that you always tell or is there an experience that just mortifies you?

Yeah?

Okay, are open to discussing yes, okay, yes, it's a safe space, but I will I'm just going to start and be kind of vague though it.

Involves myself and another person. Uh huh, we are yep, thank you. I wasn't on a board walk at nighttime getting a blowshop. Two people. We were on a bed and it is very sexy. We start having sex and then all of a sudden we see blood everywhere. Oh no, yes, on the bed, on the bed. One of us will not disclose who had a bit of an accident that involved blood. And the person that I was sleeping with, they had just gotten fresh Sheridan sheets that day, like

Count through the roof. I can only imagine.

And you know what, they felt superb, but they looked less superb with just blood.

Every how much blood, how much like a dribbling, like a nosebleed.

Amount of blood It was enough for like a hand to be placed on the buss region to be lifted up and blood drop hooks were coming down on the fingers.

Oh no, okay, right, was there? Pain was whoever it was?

So whoever was experiencing this didn't feel that much pain. That's why it was a shock that it just came out of nowhere. Yes, but from there, so we stopped. But and he he is, he was, he is the loveliest person we had. We had a bond, we had a connection. So it was a really sweet time, and I could imagine that being quite a more mortified thing, mortifying, mortifying experience. But yeah, that stays with me as like the train wreck sexual encounter totally.

Oh god, that would be very frightening. And the sheets, I mean, that's the real, that's the real travesty of the situation.

The sheep.

I felt so bad I was the one to have bled. I would have felt so.

Felt so guilty, so so guilty. Louis, Well, I had I met up with someone on the weekend and I'm house sitting a friend's place in Bondai, And tell me if this is unethical? Am I a good friend or a bad friend? I fucked on the couch of a of a house of the friend, the house that I was house sitting, and I messaged her and she was unhappy. She was unhappy that I fucked on the couch.

Stop, Yeah, wasn't.

I didn't love the vibe that I fucked on the couch.

Oh, because firstly, well secondly, I would support anyone rooting on my coutch, thank you.

And it was a beautiful chaise leather couch and we got it on and she said, don't use my bed, so I didn't, so I used the couch. I thought it was fair game.

That's lovely, like the fact that you thought ahead to not use the bed, but U a couch. I mean, you know it's not a bit, it's a couch.

You.

I completely agree. Then they stayed the night, first time ever that someone stayed the night. Do you like inviting people to stay?

No? Oh?

Do you tell no? I love? Okay to all the idiots out there, I'm a lovely person, right, I'm a caring, an affectionate person. However, commer if it comes to just like a one night stand or just a situation where you're like, we both know what we're here for. I would prefer to go to their house, but it being bada boom and I'll leave. I'll be like done because I love to just wake up by myself.

Yes, okay, Fairnessey. I want to have like someone on my shoulder and cuddle. And but maybe that's because I'm out of a relationship. Maybe that will fade over time, But that's because that's probably the biggest thing that I'm missing, is that intimacy. So maybe that's what I'm looking for at the moment.

How did it.

Feel so good. Amazing.

I loved it waking up next to something.

Yeah, great, really good, really nice, and then like like then we showered together. It was absolutely lovely.

Wow, maybe I need to invite someone over.

Maybe, yeah, I should call him. You should call him? And yeah, go, I'll wash the sheets this time. Don't worry, don't wait. All right, well, Louis, we better go. This was so much fun. I had the best time with you. Do you want to stay the nice?

This was amazing? Yeah, this was really really fun. We got naughty.

Do you think you were going to get this naughty?

No?

I didn't think I'd been talking about bleeding during sex.

Got the got Yeah, well, Louis, it was a pleasure having you on hearing the conquests of Greece, Louis Hanson on all platforms is where people can find you?

Yeah, I mean, just have a Google, just see where the wind takes you.

All right, brilliant. We love you and truly I adore you, and I can't wait to hang out with you more in Melbourne. You're such a sweetheart. Thank you for filling in.

I love you, Thank you for having me. Bye, idiots, see your idiots.

We'll see you next week Coombs is back. Don't worry and we'll see you next Monday. Oh and we hope this podcast. This is how we sign off every week. We hope this podcast makes you feel at least three percent better today. And then you say, so we do amazing. You have to say that, so we do. Brilliant. There we go, well said, so natural, So we do see you next week.

See Louis, I thought you were going to lead me in.

Oh, we hope this podcast makes you feel at least three percent better today, So we.

Do so good, so good, See you, Louis.

See idiots.

Bye?

Is It just Me?

A podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.

This