#149: Breakup Bullshit

This is.

Just real.

I stood by a couple of mitches. Hello, Yeah, Delese yourself for the rude shocks of young adultsthood. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick? Or sit on a dick and eat a cake?

Sit on a deck and eat a cake?

Absolutely? If you sit on the cake, you ruin it. Do you think I'd have a waste a cake? By sit No and Mitchell coups? Hello you?

Hello?

You?

Oh, your poor thing, your sick little dog.

I'm not well.

Oh I'm soldiering on. What's wrong? You got the sniffle nose?

You got on?

It's just whatever's going around. Enough about me, let me know what happened after last week you announced the breakup? How'd you go with all the beautiful dms coming?

Oh my god, I just have to say how grateful I am for our idiots and our audience. They pulled me out of the darkness. That announcement. Going out on the podcast was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

Did you listen?

I didn't. I can't. Okay you, I know you sent me the edit before it went to air.

Yeah, because you were a bit anxious about it. I was like, let me know if you want me to cut anything. Well not really.

Let's just preface it by saying I was very kind. I was a three on the scale of how savage. Oh yeah, I could have dialed it right up to an eleven, and maybe I'll get there one day. But I was very kind. And I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all the idiots that reached out. I seriously was shocked, Like there were hundreds of messagesred hundreds. It was absolutely beautiful.

Were there any filthy messages as well? Because I did say, now that you're single, you might have a few flirty idiots oh into your DM.

My god, didn't waste a minute.

By the way, prize Keeper Jenna, thanks for fucking rocking up this week.

I'm bad High Price Keeper.

So much for ditching Mitch in That is hour of need.

No problem.

The one time I need you to be a sympathetic listener and you fuck off.

Yeah, well you didn't wish me happy birthday.

I did wish you.

I don't I sent you a personal message.

Yeah, but there's no proof of that for everyone else you.

Can attest to it.

I don't know.

Did you see you set about that?

Yeah? Yeah, in my time of need you bring that up? Yes, you bitch.

So we're all like struggled straight today. Thank god, we're all fucked.

Yeah, let me let me want me read you some of these dms.

I got the Filthy one.

Well, they kind of helped because I just play some music. It's at elevated music. It's funny, it's kind of hot.

You know, surely there's some sexy dad or something. You're going to do a reenactment of the Filthy.

D hold on, Yeah, this isn't the right music, isn't. I feel like I'm in the appointment room of a doctors.

It's like the haberdashery section at Maya.

It is it really is?

Is that still around?

You know?

Habitdashery? Okay? What about this? Sorry, that's wrong?

What is that? I recognize that that pornhut?

What is that I'm sending that to the shot.

What what is that?

Oh, I've been I can hear that sound. I've been using it every night the past few weeks. Here we go, sorry, here we go, horn music, Here you go. So these are some of the messages that I got that have really they've been really like heartwarming, to be honest. Someone says heartwarming. Well, someone said to me, Mitch, when you enter your slut era, I want to be the first one to wrap my lips around your fat cock.

Oh.

Someone said to me, Hi, cutie, I've always wanted to fuck you, but out of respect for Hayten, I never messaged, well, here we are with a wave emoji.

That's quite nice.

That nice, and that's lovely. Another one says, you're spectacular. You will find someone that respects you, and until then I will happily take your loads loads, multiple loads. In fact.

Wow. I mean we've been doing this podcast for nearly four years. I was single for three of those and I got nothing like that.

Daddy, just out of the blue.

I'm notady.

I don't mind it. Yeah, I mind it. Accept that I've got a couple of photos, I've received a couple of videos, and I just want to say all joke, Yes, they did.

They did want to see one, not particular. Okay, I don't think you're supposed to show other people's nudes.

Oh why didn't say? But it was a disappearing photo. I would have drawn a piece of paper for you. I will preface this by saying, I don't want to be with anyone. I'm deeply sad.

But you've got someone when the slut era strike, I.

Just could never. I don't want to even touch anyone. I'm such a romantic. I'm so heartbroken by by the relationship ending and by Eden, and even though it was my choice, I'm so I'm actually very sad.

Oh shit, I've got a break up related segment later. Is that going to be a good thing or a bad thing for you right now?

No, it's okay. I'm working through it. I'm better. But you know, when you get hurt, your questions, everything throws everything into you know, into question.

You've got a gorgeous aura this week, do I? Like I said last week, I get a different Mitch every week. Sometimes you're furious, sometimes you're devastated. I'm feeling a bit of chaos coming from you today, really too?

Oh my god, I go I've been flirting hard. There's like three that I've been flirting with, but I don't want to do anything.

Sorry.

Of our listeners, one is a listener. Someone was flirting with me and I don't know what came over me. They called me daddy and I said, I'll fly you to Sydney.

Oh it's terrible.

I don't have a budget for that.

In the same breath you have said I'm not ready, I'm still heartbroken, and now you're also offering to fly your twink bitches here, Noddy.

Can I just say something? Can I say something? This is my breakup advice. If you have been hurt and the breakup is done and you're feeling sad, some of the best things to get me out of it is a little flirt. It actually does, it really does. It makes you feel that you you know you can get back up. I mean a harmless flirt, of course, is beautiful.

Don't accidentally lead anyone on and they're like, I've packed, I've got my carry on fid no, but yeah, check flirt is harmless.

I'm on my healing journey. I've joined a gym, I'm walking every time, doing mental health walks. I've got headspace the app. I bought a yoga mat. I'm having proteint sit on it.

You should come to one of my bar classes. You'd love it.

Are you starting to be a lawyer?

The ai E is how you spell that? Yeah, it's like a it's like a hybrid between. Actually, Jenny, you'd love it too, because I'd say it's a hybrid between yoga, zumba, and ballet.

I love that.

Now I'm walking, I'm in my mental health walk. I walk King Street in Newtown every morning.

Dreadful to walk down to try and killing your mental health.

I will say that's so true. I was walking it this morning and I had to step around a poor homeless man begging for money. And then I almost hit a seagull don't know what the fuck it was doing in the middle of the CBD. And then I fell into a bookstore. I'm like, this is awful.

Yeah, it's so cluttered and loud, and no, that's not a good place to cleanse your mind.

No.

And then there's that fuck off giant chemists warehouse that I walk past. I always get so tempted to go in.

Yeah, I do love a chemistry I love a chemist's warehouse.

Anyway, I'm on the path to recovery, still deeply sad, but.

Just take any other path than King's threat in Newtown play ture.

That's true.

I also, yeah, I'm thanking the listeners. It's kept me a lot of company, It's made me really happy. But then I want to thank you Mitchell and of course you Jenna. But you've both been very, very great friends to me in this time, which is really nice.

That's no neat to thank us.

No, it's true, And that's the one more advice because actually, that's funny. The messages that I got a lot of kids are going for kids like I'm fucking seventy seven, I'm Santra at Westfield and people are coming up on my lap. Well, that'll be happening very soon. People have been saying that they're also going through breakups and you go and that they're also queer and having this angle, and you know, it hit me. All the content that

But then on the flip side. People always complain that every movie TV show. Every LGBTQ story usually ends in tragedy like Broke Back Mountain and stuff, So how do they win?

I know, no, it's true, but also that's such a part of the gay storyline, like aids, the age pandemic, the tragedy that was there, which is important to learn about. But I just think hearing real stories about actual heartbreak and trauma is good. So for the next couple of weeks, yeah, I'm probably just going to be Dad in the dumps and talking about it. But that's my way of healing, getting through it exactly.

It's like our contraceptive diaphram. Sam actually spoke to me and put it quite beautifully. He goes. Cherry made a great point when he said that there aren't many like queer breakup stories out there in the media. You said it was barren. You couldn't find any stories to relate to to sort of be a comfort during this period, And he said, people forget when they're fighting for equal love that that also comes with equal heartbreak. Oh that is so well seen, beautiful bird, Sam.

He's very well said. Sam couldn't have said it better.

He also said that your breakup announcement segment was the best thing we've ever done on the podcast. On I was like, I thought it was great, but the best thing we've ever done well.

I mean, I will say I got messages from people that haven't listened to the podcast in a long time, and I mean, Delta fucking Goodroom sent me a heart emoji. She's not listening to Is it just me? The podcast? This is a rating success and I now will reveal that Hayte and I are still together and it's all been a ratings point.

Oh god, imagine how much trouble you'd getting. People would hate that.

All the pranks a social experiment sponsored by Baraka some bullshit. Anyway, how are you guys talking about you? Mitch? Can I say, Jenna, Mitch as as sick as he is, he looks good. He's tan?

Yeah, you are very tan.

Yeah.

It's always the days that I'm feeling the worst that I get the most compliments on how I look. Like one time I came to work here full mid mental breakdown and was like, you're glowing. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? It's the tears. I haven't been crying, but like I've just got that annoying blocked no situation. So sorry if I sound yuck on the podcast today.

But anyway, your issue, Jenna, we both got one.

We're still fucked off at us about forgetting a birthday.

Well I've said it, just forget mine comes September. Then we're all even with each other and we can move.

To a good friend.

No.

You said that about Jenna when we forgot your birthday.

So no, no, no, But now we're equal.

What did you do for your birthday? Go?

I did nothing because both.

Of you forgot. We also didn't get an invite.

To be fair, yes we didn't.

So what exactly how are we to know?

Yeah, good point, Mitchell.

In many ways, it's your fault. Play the gas lighting, Jenni seine because that is so fun what I just said to her, making it seem like.

It's her fault.

Jenner, it's your fault we forgot your big birthday event.

I apologize once, apologize again.

Oh Jenna, are we love?

I'm so sorry I didn't tell you.

I did bring chockings for you last week, but you didn't fucking rock up to the episode.

That I had to eat them all because I was announcing your life event that you didn't fucking turn up for you, bitch anyway, I'm accepting nudes, Mitchell's accepting strep sels, and Jenna is accepting condolences. It's your first time listening? Is it just me? Every week we start the show the same way, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Someone said it is it just me?

To me?

And is it just me? On the fly? But do you guys waffle on for too long before you get to the I gyms? The show is called is it just me? You should do them first? And I shaid, do them first, That's what I said, But I don't like the little intro.

The open area is supposed to be like two to three minutes. It has been as long as fifteen minutes before before we actually start this one for me long, but I was how fucking abrupt would it be if every episode just started with.

Is it just me?

Are we just not gonna welcome you? Say hello? Nothing?

Even worse? Even worse? What if we started it like these ready.

It is?

And spiritual coups?

Hi you hi?

You?

Is it just me? Break ups?

Hard?

Stupid?

Who the fuck sent that foot? Is that what you want?

Is that really what you want we know what's good for you. All right, let's start.

I'm almost obliged to make the opener even longer today out of spite.

I mean, I can make it longer if you want to drag things out. I'm going on to Fiji very soon.

Oh you really? When?

Well, I've I've I've told my ex let's call him that.

Wow and Emerger you refer to him as the ex before.

To get out of the house. He's living with his morm. He kicked him out, and I've said I'm moving out to greener pastures and I'm going to Fiji. So you pack your shit while I'm in Fiji. When I get back, a better be an empty house.

Okay, Powerful? When are you going to Fiji?

Two weeks first week of July?

Did say you were going last week?

It was meant to be Cook Islands? Yeah, okay, but it fell through. I'm not a Cook.

Is that the one they changed the name of.

No, I think that's Fraser Fraser Island.

Knew one of the islands.

Did they change their name?

Oh? They made it their traditional indigenous one because they found out that Phraser was a dog back in the day.

Yeah, he's in Fraser on the one with all the ding guys.

I don't know.

Long enough for you guys.

No, I think let's go a bit longer.

Should we talk about geopolitical conflicts in the Ukraine?

Let's start the show. I will say that I've got a holiday story of mine coming out. Oh, I was stalked in Alice Springs. Oh my, your poor fiend by a rabbit fan. I wouldn't have said rabbit, but in a way.

Yes, Okay, Well should I go first? Another lot of fucking talking about me? Do you want to go first? Should I go? Yeah?

Do you want to go with your Is it just me?

First? Yeah, let's go. Is it just me? Is the part where you have to rebook another appointment with a doctor or any of the most awkward part of the whole experience I was in, Like you're on your way out, on your way out, you to book a second appointment, and then you have to go through every personal event in your life as if they give a shit.

Yeah, I find that really specful, but they'll go.

Can you do fright of the twelfth? And I go front of the twelfth? I've got a haircut. I okay, what about the nineteenth the nineteenth st Tuesday. It is, Oh, it's my mum's six seth, you're a happy birthday. Thanks. Yeah, we've just been to Hawaii. Oh beautiful. March the ninth. March the ninth, I do have a dental appointment in the morning of the afternoon, she's doing root canal, Like, they don't.

Give a shit.

Why do I tell her these details?

What about when they're trying to book my comedy shows. Yeah, they're booking my Perth show at the moment. And they said to me, Mitchell, what are you doing in November? How about I know, let's just assume probably nothing. I don't think that far ahead.

I agree, they think we have our lives so planned. They go, now, we're going to rebook you for December. Will the twelfth work? Yep, it will like incidentally.

Double book and book And you're like, oh, it doesn't ring a bell, It's probably fine, but.

You know what I mean, it's just so awkward. And then no one's ever invested, Like I don't care. They just want to book in the appointment and fuck you off.

I mean, personally, I don't actually go through my family events and like I don't read out my calendar. I just go, um, oh, let me look just a sec. Oh, actually is Tuesday? Okay. I don't read out what I've got on in the calendar. I think that's just you.

Oh tell me everything six you And she loves pancoa. Can't you get the recott of cake? Don't get recorded. She's got ibs right, she comes to the same GP. I'm like, you're right, doctor, start at the man.

God, there's just so many people like that though. I'm going to read you a text exchange I had with Talita yesterday.

Salivo be a big fan of the pod lo.

All the co hosts. I'm not my cup of tea loodcast. I said to her, oh, is this your week off between jobs? And she goes, yes, it is, And I said, gorgeous, Let's hang out one day and she goes, yes, let's I'm driving with Emily right now to get a price sing gun for twenty dollars because I'm selling my clothes tomorrow night. I have my official proper leaving work drinks and this weekend I'm helping my mum with her button sale. And I just replied, why are you telling me any

Oh that's so beautiful. That's very mean.

And I've got a lot of friends like that.

Yeah. Am I still seeing you Friday night?

Yes?

Should we see her Friday night? Who's a button? Sow? Friday night? Talia?

I don't know. All those words went in one eye out the other. It's not reading the message one eye the other.

That's so true.

It we need to change it. It's a good one in one eye out the other.

Wow, I think you.

Knew what I meant.

That'll be me going through the idiot twinks. In one hole, out the other. It's my future. What is the other? I don't know. I wasn't even funny anyway.

You're in one hole and exit the same hole.

Yeah, yeah, repeatedly. I'm oh sorry, come on, I'm healing trauma, all right? You're ready for yours?

Mitch?

Yes, I am?

Is it just me?

Are you torn about how to feel about the following relationship advice?

Oh?

I know this might be a bit toned for me to bring this up when we're talking about your breakup. But there was a video going viral on Instagram. You might have seen it. It came from the Tim Ferriss podcast and he had a guest on called Brene Brown. She's a relationship cost.

Love Brene Brown. I've been listening to podcasts with her in it.

Oh really, are you're familiar? I am yeah, Oh okay, good because she was talking about specifically marriages and how married couples can support each other. But I think the advice can be applied more broadly, like friends or podcast co hosts perhaps, So takeways into what she said and let me know what you think, because I'm torn.

All right.

Everyone says Mary should be fifty to fifty. It's the biggest crack of bullshit I've ever heard. It's never fifty to fifty ever. And so what we do is we quantify where we are. So if Steve comes home and he'll be like, I got.

Twenty just in terms of energy, just.

Energy, investment, kindness, patience, I'm twenty, and I'll be like, I'll cover you. I got your brother, like I'll pull the eighty. Sometimes we come home, which we've done a lot, my mom has been sick, and I'll say I've got ten and Steve like two days ago said, I'm riding a solid twenty five, so we know that we have to sit down at the table anytime we have less than one hundred combined and figure out a plan of kindness toward each other.

Oh I love that.

Yeah, because the thing is a partnership works when you can carry their twenty or they can carry your twenty, and that when you both just have twenty, you have a plan where you don't hurt each other.

See. At first, when I first saw that, I was like, oh, I like that. That's quite helpful. I enjoyed that. I sent it to Sean and he goes, oh, I saw this already. That's what I mean. It's kind of blown up this video.

It's massive. I saw it on TikTok too. Yeah, the gay and I agree, and it resonated with me. I used to think in my early days that if I wasn't getting one hundred back, you know that I was doing something wrong. I used to be. I always used to feel I had to give a hundred. But you learn, obviously, you learn the balance.

Well.

She said that it's all about the communication of where are you at? You know, out of fifty, where are you at with your energy and whatever. But then she also said, if both of you aren't able to cover each other, if you're both feeling flat, then you have to sit down at the table and figure out a plan of kindness. I mean, can you not think of anything fucking worse? If you're a twenty out of big DP,

I know, kindness journal. Would you have to write notes?

I don't even know. No, I guess it's individual. But when I sent it to Sean, I was like, we should do that because there's absolutely been days without you know, communicating it with this method where I just sort of read the room. Yeah, you know, there's been plenty of times where he's been flat out at work. He is exhausted, So I step up, I'm making dinner, I'm doing all the did the ring And then of course there's been times or it the other way around, And I thought, yeah,

Oh yeah, now that I relate to.

Well, another comment said this sets a precedent for scorekeeping, and I was like, oh, I hadn't thought of that. It's a slippery slow because then you could like I would like to think I wouldn't do this. I can imagine that would become fodder in an argument. Well, I've stepped up and filled your twenty percent more than you've done for me.

Yeah, you know, also becoming complacent knowing that if because you know, let's be real, misery loves company. So if you are miserable, you depressed, you're at a twenty, and you're at a twenty for a week, but your partner is giving you an X ray eighty that allows you then to be comfortable to sit in the twenty, right, I mean a lot of people aren't as driven as we want them to be. It's all well and good to say i'll be a twenty until I feel better

They've got it too good exactly. So see, I was just like, oh, that's beautiful advice, blah blah blah. But then now that I've read the comments, I'm starting to see the more cynical side, you know, and I'm like, oh shit, Okay. They all make good points, although I think the main focus is just the communication about it, Like, Okay, where are you at today? That that would be helpful because imagine if you're both on like ten and then

I also think it's very easy when you're talking about tens, but you throw in a decimal point. Fuck. I would get together a calculator, babe, I'm a nineteen point seven today, what do you got forty six point eight? I'd be like, hold on, let me get a pen and paper and yeah.

Fuck. So, like at first, I was like, good advance, but now I'm torn. I don't know it's a good advice or not.

I think no.

I think you're right. I think the takeaway from that is communication is one hundred percent the key.

Yeah, let them know if you're feeling shit.

In this podcast relationship, I think we do a good job. I'll tell you if I'm flat, like in today, in the last actually last week, and also with my brain, my fucking kiari information, I will often say like, hey, I'm feeling flat, I'm not feeling good, and I'm.

Like to wait, all good, I got this? Yeah, And I think, do you reckon? That's why we maybe bickered a little bit more in the early days, because I don't think we did that, Like we might have both been burnt out as fuck and then just ended up taking out on each other totally, totally and so yeah, I think the advice just about the communication part is helpful.

So does that mean if this podcast was a marriage, would be a really healthy grown.

Marriage, I'd like to think. So I agree, and.

We're open with Jenna of course Jennery? Is we just fucked Jennifer fun?

Jennis al made?

Yeah, can you put a little skirt on next episode you're listening to?

Is it just me?

Got something on your mind?

Hit up at a couple of mitches on Instagram to get yourself on the shoe?

All right, your chance to get on the show now? And he ann is it just you of your own or is it just me of your own? There is just you something you have noticed, something you hate or something that you appreciate.

There's got to be something wreck your brain. You'll find something you know it's hate or appreciate it. And then he has that and.

A good tip. Sometimes Mitch and I get him. We're like, what the fuck is our regim? And remember that time that you were like, look around the room and then I looked at a box of tissues and that was the agem.

Yeah. I was just holding up random objects, being like clocks. What are your two cents on clocks? Tissues. You're like, oh, I've got something to say about tissue.

I know.

That's literally how we get my nan out of her Louis body dementia. We like just hold up old photos and old objects and she goes clock. Yes, my granddaughter's name is Karen. Yes, it is all right. Well today we've got the one and only Khli from Tasmania. Hallo Carli. Hey guys, how are you Darla?

I'm good? Whereabouts? And Tazzi?

Are you in Tasmania?

Oh, Gordeous, I just visited ln cesteron It's stunning.

Is it cold at the moment? In Tazzi, it's pretty cold.

I'm sitting with a woolen jacket. I'm actually sitting on a thing of cment outside my work.

And it's not very warm.

No, yea, what do you do for work?

I work for Toyota Ah.

Right, it must be nice that Toyota cash.

It's not bad.

It's not bad, it's pretty good.

Do you like living in lawn Cestern? Because I know that visiting and living there very different things. People say, Oh, Forbes is lovely, and I'm like, try fucking live in there.

It's okay, it's really boring, Like it's very ordinary. But if you like the quiet life and you just like a simple life, that's great. Everyone's really friendly. Like I've gone to the mainland and people are just snobs and they're just rude.

Wait, do you call Central Australia the mainland.

We call Australia the mainland.

That's really funny. I didn't know that.

I remember when I was in lon Ceston. This just goes the show how quiet the place is. My friends and I googled gay clubs in lawn Ceston and the first thing that came up, the number one recommendation was the tail Race Park toilet block. That is where you're find that's the best cruising.

Apparently tail Race Hu there.

Was a story going on years ago, like in the middle of Lonnie a hoe. But we have this park called Saint Peter's Park. The gay people go there to meet at the park to do you know the holes in the toilet stores.

What did you say that one was called Peter's Park, Simpeter. This one says tail Race parks, all the parks in lawn Ceston.

I love how she says the gay people, the gay people with the holes in the wall. That's called a glory hole. It's part of our culture.

Glory hole.

That's the one. Yeah, that is all right. Well, let's get you on for your Is it just you something you've noticed you hate to appreciate? Bradley, You'll count you in. We'll get you on oka. Are you ready, lovely?

Thank you?

Is it just me?

Is it really hard to fall in love again after you've been completely destroyed by your ex?

Oh? Wow?

Oh my god, you take this fun cherry?

Wow? What am I give you my personal number?

Wait? Wait, wait, Carly? How recent was the breakup with your ex?

It was over two years ago? And I'm going to get really depressing here.

I'm sorry, isn't it?

It was two years ago?

And I can't love anyone like I can't do it. And you know, I'm still kind of.

I don't want to.

I don't want to make your podcast a pressing.

It already, is Darlin?

That's already there? I mean, I'm on it fucking this week. So talk to me. Did you break up with him three years ago? Did he leave you? So?

Basically, he's Greek. So Greek men are very obsessive, but they're very what's the word controlling? Okay, So we met in twenty seventeen. I thought he was my knight in Shining arm or like you know.

I thought he was the one.

He was the one, like no doubt of bad people were like, oh, when you're getting married, when you're having kids, like you know, yea, and then that framelance into it. Sadly, his father passed away and he just turned in to the most abusive, controlling gas flighting person. And I unfortunately

Yeah, there's only so much you can do.

Yeah, And you know, I stayed for three years and he just controlled me, abused me mentally, emotionally, physically, financially.

If you're struggling with any of the topics we've talked about today, never be afraid to reach out its full lifeline.

I'm thirteen, eleven, fourteen.

I can't even I can't even explain how bad.

It was Stockholm synchroocause, recognizing that he treated you like shit, And yet you feel like you're never going to find anyone else. You will and they'll treat you way better than I will be going through his own grief obviously, but that's no excuse.

Yeah, this is the thing you won't understand. I'm in a relationship.

Oh oh no, really okay.

I've got a long term boyfriend of over a year, but I and he knows this, He's accepted it. I cannot love another human like I loved the man starting with Jeeps.

But here's the thing that's allowed. You still love your current partner, right, your new partner.

I do, but nowhere near to the intense. I don't know. That's the thing. I don't think I do.

Maybe it's not a case of more or less. It's just a very different kind of relationship. It feels different.

Yeah, I think that there's got to be an element of you letting go. I mean, you were hurt, really really bad. Are you talking to someone? You have a therapist? Do you have people to talk to about this?

God?

I wish no, No, No, it's not as bad as it seems that you know, like after someone hurts you that bad. I don't think that the regular human can love another person the way they did, because I'm sure itself can't.

I respectfully disagree. I think you can.

I agree. I think you can. Yeah, I think you can as well. And I'm here to tell you that. Listen. I've just can't. As everyone knows, I've come out of a massive relationship that I threw my whole entire life at and you can. I'm on the path to doing it already. You have to realize that his problems are not your problems. His problems aren't because of you. You can never fix them.

And I can understand the urge that you want to fix them, and that's beautiful of you to want to, but you can't. Really, it's got to work on himself as well.

Al So you cannot. You cannot. And this is something that I've had to I've had to come to terms with. You cannot keep choosing someone who isn't choosing you. There's no point. So just keep saying that over and over in your head, because there's no point loving this person. They're not loving your back. Carlie. You gotta let go.

It's not about me. Still it's not about me being in love with them. It's just about me or anyone male or female. They they're not the same person.

After that.

I know you, I know, I know those things aren't mutually exclusive, though, Carli, you can still love him, and you can still recognize that you are a different person, You've changed, You've come out of this a different person while still loving him. They don't two things can be true at the same time. I'm in therapy at the moment. I've never been in therapy.

Before your first sesh.

I just had my first session, and can I just say, can I'll give you a number. She's fantastic. I got a weird hat though. I wanted to take a pull that thing off.

When I say it's just had his first sesh, I mean literally half an hour ago.

That's why I'm getting fully philosophical. But listen, we don't need to go into Carli your personal details. They're personal. But I suggest going to a therapist just to get it all off your chest, to talk about it, and they will give you tactics to start unlearning that unhealthy love bond that you that you have, and maybe you'll.

Talk about your future relationship in a less bleak way.

Yeah.

Also, can I just say, Carlor, you sound like you love so hard and you love your love is such a big part of who you are, right. All I'll say to you, and this is something that I had to do in my breakup with Hayden, is that you cannot be giving the best parts of yourself because, like me, some of the best traits that I have are my love and how much love I can give. And you should not be giving that love to someone who doesn't

Yeah, no, I no, I know I'm wasting because I'm only thirty one, like I'm still young. I just yeah, I feel like it literally is just me.

The new guys sound like a bit of a keeper. You said he was quite understanding.

Ah, it sounds ridiculous, but he is so pure, like he's just an absolute angel, Like you could not ask for a better person.

To love you.

I like you hold on to him, Carly. My suggestion is go to a therapist talk this to Okay, you really should.

Why are you laughing at the idea of therapy?

Yeah, I don't want to make your podcast like I don't want to come on here and be like, oh, you know, I can't love someone and field a press.

It's just oh wait till you listen to the rest of the episode, babes. It's very going to break up, very mate. It fits in.

It's fine, it's all good, and stop apologizing for how you feel.

You know, and lots of people feel this way, so it's relatable.

I would I would hazard a guess and say no, it's not just you, Carly.

Yeah, yeah, okay, well that's good.

That's that's very suring.

Yeah, comfanting. I'm sure we hope that helps. At least you'll get a prize from Price Keeping Donner. That'll cheer you.

Thanks, Jenny, you're lovely.

DH what do we Jesus Christ, You're amazing, so lovely and amazing keeping Charlie, Carlie, I.

Love your podcast, so you guys are great.

Pleasure, love you too. Go to therapy. Okay, will I don't like that she keeps laughing at that.

I know it just sounds a little bit like we're palming her off. We can't go to a therapist, but no, I can absolutely see that it would help her in that situation.

That's very personal and we don't know the ins and outs of it.

But she was talking very black and white about the situation, like she's already come to the conclusion. A therapists can probably unpack that a bit totally and help her come to a more grounded conclusion.

I agreed, agreed, Well, if you want to get in touch with it, is it just you? You can text us at.

Four one two seven one two nine two.

Someone tried to fucking FaceTime that phone this week. Yeah, and I was having a cry.

Yeah.

I don't know if our darling idiots know this, but I used to man the idgem phone. But then I gave you the SIM card, So more thirsty dms for you on the way.

I bet now that they know it's on your head, dirty little fucking yeah way, send me the photos, but don't FaceTime me, please the love of God.

Alright, continuing on our breakup.

Bullshits more, Well, it made me sad again.

No, I don't know if it will because you were saying last week, Mint that you want to hear more real life stories about other people's breakups, just to give you some sort of guide on how to deal with your own. And now, do you remember back in episode one hundred and forty, which was about three months ago.

Now I'm not quite I barely remember Jenna's fucking birthday.

I've got the audio, I'll refresh your memory. But back in episode one hundred and forty, we had Shan call in and she was just going through a very, very sudden breakup.

This is what she said, our break up one.

Of the worst things to go through.

Oh, I can imagine.

Yeah.

Oh.

I was in a relationship with a guy in Darwin for two years. We were doing the whole house thing, we had a life, everything, and then one day he just turns around and he goes, yep, that's it.

And he did it at a pub, at a pub, in front of everyone where they could see your reaction.

Oh yeah, he pretty much said to me to leave pretty much. So I packed my stuff and go to my family in Townsville. In the drive from Darwin to Townsville, yeah, it took me four days.

Fucking hell o, my god, what was his piece week excuse?

He didn't give me one?

Oh, my god, I'm so sorry for you, Shan, because that's a bit eerie listening back to that.

Yeah, I know, because you and I were out of our depth, Like I don't know how to give breakup advice to this woman.

Now.

At that point, all I wanted to say was I'm happily in love, babe, I've got I don't know.

And so three months on, now that you've announced your breakup, darling, Shan slid into my DMS and said, I'd love to have a chat with me.

Oh, this is actually really smart, fat.

Because she's been there, done that. And so three months on, we'll see how Sean is doing. Because every breakup is unique and different, and we've already kind of said that you're going to go through the motions. They'll be ups and downs for a little bit, and then eventually you'll get to a point where you're like, yeah, i've moved on, I'm over, and I will see if Shan's at that point.

Oh my god. So we've got Shann's number here, Yeah, all right, let's dial it our Does she know we're calling. Yeah, imagine if we called it she said, Hi, I'm just at therapy.

I'm not doing well.

Hello, shan Hi, Hello.

Are you good?

You're on How the tables turned? Shan Oh, give me some good news.

We just played a little recap of your breakup last time you were on the podcast, and so three months on, how are you feeling, babes?

You know what, It comes in waves, and I'm going to be very honest and raw, and it does comes in waves. I felt so good for a while, and then last week it was like a big brain fog. I had no idea where I wanted to be. I didn't know if I wanted to move back home or if I wanted to be here.

And that's where are you now? Because where we left off, you were now in Townsville.

I'm still in Townsville, okay, But I was very confused last week. Had no idea what I wanted to do. But that's normal. You go through the ups and the downs of the whole journey. But it's not about me.

How are you bless you? I'm okay. I'm really sad. I just think like for the context and you know me like Mitch and Jenna. But everyone listening knows what I put out there. But I think I've put out that I'm a very romantic, loving partner. I put so much of myself into my relationship and like, probably to my detriment, like I.

Probably put you like to be a bit of a care give it, which, like I said before, I can totally understand that because I'm a little bit the same.

Yeah, I think I just like miss having someone to love and miss because there's so much of so much of my personality is so giving in that regard. So I'm like, oh, who do I give it to? Everyone's like, give it to yourself. I'm like, I don't want it. I want to give to someone else.

You know, it's hard to give that love back to yourself. And I'm going through the exact same thing at the moment and how I'm feeling. But you miss that. It's not so much that you might miss the person, but you missed the idea of having someone who's just down to do whatever or is always going to be there. That stability, that's safety.

You missed that, And I hope you don't mind me saying, Sean. But we didn't speak about this particular part of the story on the podcast because after we recorded, there was a revelation. Are you happy to talk about that? It got worse that exitit doog, it.

Did get worse. It got very much, so worse. So my who I thought was my best friend I then found out that she was sleeping with my partner relations and they're now together.

That is that would now, knowing what that feels like, I can't even imagine the hurt that would have gone through, the rage, the rage and just the self blame and their anger and the sadness.

And you're see, two of the most important people in your life.

So how did you heal through that?

You should have given me the addressed when I was in Darwin, Babs. It could have lit a bag of shit in their doorstep.

It would have been nice if your answered. I was checking in and seeing how.

You were, Like, excuse me, I took all your Darwin recommendations. Mindle Beach markets, gorgeous.

Thank you beautiful? Right did you watch the sunset?

I did, and everyone applauded when the sunset, which was fucking odd.

I guess we'd there, mate.

But yes, as we were saying the anger face obviously this guy that you were dating, Sean, did you very dirty, and you would think if someone did you so dirty, like people haven't been through a breakup might assume, ah, well fuck them, move on. But it sounds like it's easy, you said, than done, because the waves are still there three months on.

Yeah, it's not that easy, and it's going to take. It takes time and literally need to be really kind to yourself. And I even reached out to you the other day and sent you messages of like, you're going to be okay, you will, you won't. You might not see it right now, but I'm starting to see it after three months. Like I've I'm not saying that you're going to move, but I've moved, and I've got a

More of my life because I got social groups.

I'm going to netball and I'm also pole dancing.

Oh my god, shit, pole it's quite fun.

Oh fuck, I might do a term they like drilled in.

Is it you know?

Is it?

Is it a safe? Safe pole?

It's a safe pole. It's sturdy. I've given it a few kicks to check if it comes out.

But it's good. Oh that's good advice. I did get your message that was that was very kind. And you know what, I think the reason I know I'm going to be okay in the long run is because I can see, like the light at the end of the tunnel. It's just like fuck. And you know, my therapist said it today, my therapist, I've said, I know, it's amazing.

Yeah, and I did the same thing. I dived so heavy and so hard and so fast into this into my past relationship that I forgot about myself and I let myself go on the back burner. You need to put some love into yourself because you are a beautiful person, and you are so kind and you are so generous and you are so genuine, and you need to remember those things.

And we talk about something else. No, actually it's too much me.

Like another thing I wanted to bring up while we've got your Shahan is I've actually got the audio of the advice that Mitch gave you at the time don't. I want to see how you feel about that advice and now applying it to yourself instead.

So wait, Mitchchury is about to give Mitch Chury advice. Yes, okay, here we go. So sorry that you're going through this.

I have you feel better after a bit of event.

I do, I do. I do need event everything, And I've had good cry soing process you set.

You're sounding beautiful, young girl. You don't need anyone in your life, just so you know, you really don't. You don't need someone to be fully fulfilled, and I think this is a blessing in disguise.

Listen to what you said, you don't need anyone to be fully fulfilled.

Yeah, that's true. He is good advice from him.

Yeah, he's a person.

He's a wise person when he wants to be. I don't want to take my own advice.

I know, and it's hard. I know that I'm giving all of this advice now. I wouldn't have listened to me three months ago.

That's a good point.

That's that's actually but you're now speaking from experience, Sean.

Yes, but it's it's just at the end of at the end of the day. Sorry for stuttering. But I'm trying to get all my words out. You need to be kind to yourself and give yourself time, let yourself grieve, because it is a grieving process. It's like a death. And my Armie said that to me literally a couple of days ago, because I was crying hysterically on the shone to her because I was like, have I made the wrong choice? And I should I just put up with it? And she goes, no, like, let yourself grieze.

I know, I know. It's also hud when, like you, you thought you knew someone and then it's like things happen and you go on, now there are different, completely different, but then you're also still in love with the potential of that person, like what you thought they could be. Like once I said, I don't want to I've said it before, I don't want to bring my dirty laundry on the pod just shit, but yeah.

No, and that you do that in your own time or you don't, And it's no one else's really, it's no one else's business. It's your choice. If you disclose that with anybody else.

Yes, oh, and I will be doing it for a Patreon episode of one thousand dollars for the full unedited tea on the relationship. It be an hour long, unedited exclusive.

Thousand dollars per listener.

Yep, Tracy Grimshaw coming out of retirement to be the narrator.

You don't like Netflix, you can't lead to someone else's purchase. You to pay a grand each.

Yeah, correct, there is a unique password per listen, and Jenna also won't turn up to that.

No.

Oh, that is very good advice. It's true. A fuck you. This is like reverse psychology bullshit on me. Well, you've just used my own advice against me. It's a head fuck.

But you just you've got to remember, like I just kept saying, you just got to be kind to yourself, because I'm trying to be as kind as I can to myself, and I destroyed myself on some days. Honestly, I beat myself up about it. But it happens. Go out and spend time with your family, lean into them, lean into Mitch and Jenna and all of your other friends. It's okay to be dependent on those other people during this time.

Have you had of interest being with you? Have you been on anyone else since? No?

And I don't want to.

Yeah, yeah, you're not there yet.

I'm not.

Yeah, definitely. I don't want to moving on so quickly after such a relationship. Wouldn't that be a dumb, disgusting and to be perfectly honest, self destructive thing to do?

Absolutely?

Yeah, but that's what some people do that like my idiot ex partner, he's done it, but he will just repeat the same People like that behavior. They never heal.

I never heal.

No, so let yourself have that time. You do it in your own time. No, I can force you.

I will thank you, sir, And you know what, get yourself a second fucking prize. Did we give you a prize the first time? No? She cried about her man leaving her and you didn't give her a pop socket.

Okay, I'll get you a mug and a few pop sockets.

You get more than one.

That's not why, That's not why I come up.

We know.

People as well, we know I don't know his personally, I don't know, but I feel like you genuinely care a lot of a lot about you.

Both narcissists behind closed doors and you'd hate us. It's a joke, all right, Sean. I was just about to wrap it up like I'm wrapping up against Sean wet Be everyone. You can get your nightly from nine on the practice credit line. What's your credit line, Shan? What do you want to plug? I'm sure you make something. Is there a small betsy business? There?

No nothing.

I know.

I work in employment services and I go home to my dogs. That's about it, right.

What's your dog's name?

Thin, it's a goodle like Hamish.

Yes, maybe you guys should date.

Yeah, would be the perfect time. We said this in the last episode when I was on Last Time?

Did we What do we doing?

That's where we did when Mitchell was like, oh, maybe well I'll just turn straight to sh and we'll get married.

Oh wow, really fun. You weren't even fucking single then, and you were offering yourself up on a platter you hare? Did Mitchell say that? Or did I?

No?

Oh god, I always get the Mitchell's and the Mitch computer.

True, Oh, I said, did I? Maybe maybe I knew something? Maybe it was yes you do?

And I laugh and I thought it was hilarious.

It's funny. Joke, but you don't have a pen of Shan unfortunately.

I know, I know.

Well, all right, thank you, Shan, you're the best. So really this was lovely. We'll get your prize and lots of love DM Jenna you darling. Oh well, dumb Mitch. That was very nice.

Yeah, that was so cool.

Now, Jenna, this was during her extended absence and when she came back I was like, are you on top of everything? All the prizes? She's like, yep, all good lies.

Jenna's that's unacceptable.

Sure, we forgot your birthday, but you forgot heartbroken Shans bro Yes. Well that was the only light at the end of the tunnel for her at the time.

I know, but you know she got over it all right, guys, that's very sweet. Can I just say I don't want to make every episode for the next couple of weeks about me. I feel I don't like it.

Well, do you want me to talk about myself for a bit? I've got a holiday yarn for you.

He's a boring.

No, it's gonna be great.

You know what, even if it is boring, and it'll help me get through it, is it just me?

You can follow the show online just search a couple of mitches. If you don't, you're.

A dickhead, you know how. I've just had my gorgeous Northern Territory trip.

Yeah, that was beautiful.

It was beautiful. I wish I got to stay longer. It was kind of over before it began. It was such a whirlwind. So there was a few days in Darwin. One of Shawan's cousins are getting married and that was stunning. Loved Darwin, and then we flew to Alice Springs to then drive to u Laru because in my mind I was like, well, while I'm in the Northern Territory, I'll just see all the sites I have to offer. Yeah, like what does the Northern Territory have to offer? Dalwyn

I was like, what the fuck?

Why is it going to take that long? Because you have to go via Sydney on Melbourne. You can't fly directed. Yeah, there's only like four places in Israeli you can fly direct to O Laru.

Yeah, but hold on checks out because Darwin isn't really near Ularu.

I just thought the same, Hi, I'm running Northern Territory tourism. What do people want to be able to do easily? Go to the capital city, go to the rock. Okay, we'll make more streamline that process for them to get an app up.

I'm confused. So where were you at Darwin?

Darwin then Ularu?

Even if they had a weekly service, yes, something, Well there.

Was like thirty hour coach services that you could get at fucking four am. Now, Mitchell, they're so far away, I know, but I just thought that they would have worked to connect them, being the two main selling point to the Northern Territory. Anyway, that's the hell I'll die on. That's the airs rock I'll die on. But they should be easily connected. And so instead we flew to Alice Springs and then drove to Ularu. Yes, and by the way, the drive to Ularu, this isn't that funny. It's actually

Scary killers.

Yeah, when you did that thing on the car to scan the radio, it picked up nothing, no phone signal. So I was like, if we're if there's an emergency, where fucked? But anyway, so it was a little unerving but also fun. But as you got to the last hour of the trip, there were little points where the highway would go over a little hill and you could see ullrou in the distance beautiful, And every single one

Oh anyway, God, that's really bad.

I know, right, it's so scary.

I was like, I might slow down a bit, just chick in the window, babe.

Yeah exactly. But anyway, before we even hit the while wait in Alice Springs. When we first flew in, Yeah, it was like nine in the morning and we couldn't pick up our high car until ten thirty, so we had an hour and a half to kill at the airport and Sean found some of those dreadful massage chairs that you often see in West Oh wow, I'm so with Sean.

These things are great. What I love these massage chairs. I went to the Easter show this year in sat One for half an hour.

Oh my god.

Yeah, but they don't work.

No, but it's I like the idea of it. Oh, co'p get off at you too. They're fine. I'm team Sean, good on it.

I don't know what it is anyone that came to my comedy show last year. I did a whole fucking rant about how I feel about those massage chairs, did you. They're just so off and also, to Jenna's point, they don't even work.

No, they don't.

No, they're not They're not great. I will say that.

I think if you've got one in the company of your home, fine, yeah, but going up to a little fucking coin operated massage chair, god knows who the fuck else has been there exactly.

It, Yeah, you put a two dollars gold coin in there, and then.

And also just you sitting there jiggling in public with people around you. And so anyway we land and we've got time to kill. Sean goes I'm going to use the massage chair, and I was like, oh my god, frankly, I don't want to be seen with you. So I'll wait at the luggage carousel. I'll get our bags. And then I came back. He's still fucking jiggling away in a massage chair.

It was it one that a big black leather one that does the ankles as well.

Yes, yes, He was like, this is a bit of a death trap. I couldn't get out if I wanted to.

Oh sure, I was like, well that's your bad new sleep in it.

Yeah.

Anyway, after like twelve minutes, the massage chair was over and I was like, well, now, well we've still got plenty of time to kill. I thought, all right, I don't know, my bloody give it a go, because in all fairness, I've used those chairs when people actually own them, if there's one in someone's laundering, yeah, but I've never used one in public. So I was like, all right, I'll give it a go. Fuck I hope no one sees me. And so I did it and it was awful.

Yeah, it's like three balls on a rotated cuff, I rotating in a clockwise position for an hour.

I was more tense after the fact than I was before I got the massage, and so I thought, Okay, this is horrific. Anyway, Eventually the time comes to get the high car. I'm outside putting all the luggage and stuff in. Sean's still inside the airport fucking around with the forms and whatever. And then Sean comes out to

She works for her. She's breaking out. I don't know her, but when I know her through the industry, Yeah, well there you go.

So it was her. It was her Instagram handle and one of her best si is that just happened to be at Alice Springs Airport handed Seana note and said Mitchell should follow her back. And so I did. I said, Hi, Lauren, your best mate reckons I should give you a follow so high, and then she sent me a screenshot of the text exchange.

Between her and her friend. Okay, what was I Well, I.

Was sprung in the massage chair.

The friend took a photo of you.

Well, there's no photo me in the massage chair. Thank god, there is a photo of me waiting at the luggage carousel. You look like such a bit. I know I do, because I'm so embarrassed by Sean in the chair. I'm like, I'll go get the bags on his hip.

You're death staring someone's side, eyeing airport security, mother, looking.

At your children in this name.

I think I might have just had an itchy love handle. To be fair, I don't know her hand on him is sassy.

Your pins look good.

You look good.

And so you look at the texts and a lot of it is actually complimentary that the best friend said the luscious locks in a scrunchy whatever. That's nice. I appreciate that. And then the best friend says, the guy he's with has hopped straight into a communal two dollar massage chair, bold choice in Alice Springs. So she sent me that screenshot.

Funny.

And then, because for some reason I'm so humiliated at the thought of being sprung in one of these chairs, I lied and I said, oh, Sean loves them. I wouldn't be caught dead in one of those chairs. She then sends a second screenshot and says one of you is lying. Then, because the best friend who was spying on me, says, now Mitchell's jumped in the chair next to him. No, they're both fully reclined in massage chairs at Alice Springs Airport. And I was like, oh, how.

Embarrassed you've been dubbed on.

I have been dubbed on.

That's character assassination. You should sue him.

And then I said, no, no, I wasn't using the massage chair. I was just sitting on it. It wasn't on. I was just waiting for Sean, lying lying. I don't know why I was so embarrassed at the thought of someone seeing me in this massage chair.

Mitchell, you need to let go of that.

Well, when I was in the fucking chair, I was like, this is so cumulating. I hope no one's looking at me. Thankfully, Alice Springs is not the busiest airport. I did look over to my left and there was one guy sitting there and I was like, oh, he's on his phone. He's not looking at me, thank fuck. Little did I know he was narrating what I was doing. This guy that I just bought it and go and I went, oh, thank fuck, he's not looking at me.

He was word for word. Mitch's calf is now being stretched out on his bilateral rotator calf, and Mitch just shouted and echoed across the tarmac.

This is shit.

Oh you know, it's funny if you mean to Mitch's house. He's got a massage in his living room.

Yeah, it's weird that I'm so adverse to the chairs that I've got every other form of massage ever.

You've got to Mitchell's house. He's got a foot massage, he's got a shoulder massage. If you've got to plug in, it's got heat and an element in it.

It's one of these vibrators with multiple attachments like the guns.

Them to Oh really few wanted to borrow.

They do look very fallic though.

You've also got a tub full of fidget toys.

Yeah, and did they not go down a tree? The house party, I was handing out fidget toys to all my guests and they were so destressed.

They were I felt like I was walking to Jojo seas mansion, just like tubs of fidget toys of all different colors. I'm like, do I get a bow for my quiff as well?

I could have given you the squney.

Yeah.

Interesting. Well, Mitchell, you need to let go of the inhibitions, relax where you want to relax. Don't worry.

I won't be relaxing one of those chairs again. They're just awful, terrible.

I know what I'm gonna get for your birthday, don't you.

It's fine, you'll forget.

Fuck off all right, guys, let's go, let's get out of here. Yeah better, I'm glad you told that story that it's nice. I'm gonna pepper through my breakup stuff, but I say, funck got to keep some things personal. What if I get sued by the prick, Why would you get sued by the No? Of course yet that Patreon's coming. Tracy just texts me Miss Grimshaw so excited to blow him up. Wow wow wowowow. Thanks for listening everyone, five stars. If you want to leave us a review,

I get some nice methodes about my life threatening cold.

Yes, yes, and then Jenna's narcissistic qualities. Maybe tell her that she'll be okay?

And my birthday is.

Did you get many birthdays?

No?

No?

No?

I saw them in the group people saying I'm so sorry for what happened Cherry, and also happy birthday Jenna.

That was fair nice already, it's a great They did a thread of dogs to make to Chimney very nice. Okay, we're gonna be back next week. Thank you for the kind messages, thank you for listening. We adore you, and I will just say how fucking good is the community? The little the Duran idiots.

The most beautiful idiots you've ever met.

Who we love you. You couldn't do it without you. We'll see you in a week, so you get dogs.

Bye bye?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to Ady d Breath. This is our secret segment on the end. We pretend the show's done, but it ain't. We just talk shit here. I'm not springing any emotional calls on you. Don't worry.

Fucking god, have you noticed what's on my face? Have you seen it?

The pimple patch? Yes, Oh, it's very subtle. It's quite close to you in the lift. That's the only reason I saw it.

Damn man, have you noticed?

I can't see it from it?

I noticed, Yeah, I can see it from here. It's because the lights.

Shine exemplifying it. They're new to me, Like you see them on TikTok. You put them on, then it's like this, it sucks all the puss out. But then this one doesn't do it, just sort of sits on there.

Yeah.

I sometimes use them.

They work well the next day.

The smaller they're better, Like what about my mate that runs the pimple patch Instagram. Oh yeah, Patch Project, are you? They're like little stars. People just think that you're being extra and glam.

You got me on them? Yeah, he stays, that'll cover your z. They're really good. Give them a shout out. Pimple Patch on instag if.

You want to Patch Project just competently guessed it. I think pimple patch might be taken. Yeah, literally any other people business.

A pimple patch company sponsored my radio show and the credit line was the pimple spot that clears your dots. It doesn't quite work, does it? It's missing something?

What about the pimple patch that cleans your snatch?

Can you get pimples on your snatch? I'm not saying do again?

Probably in grown hairs?

Yeah, so like I.

Can't be sure though, no should we I personally haven't, but that doesn't mean others.

You're very clean.

I've had a pimple on my ass cheeks, so I'm sure it's possible them anyway.

Oh yeah, I get bed saws. The amount of sitting I do.

It's a bed saw.

When someone's really gravely ill and they can't get out of our hospital bed, they develop open wounds because they can't move. What it was just a joke. I don't have bedsaws.

I'm googling that open wounds because they can't.

Just google bedsaws. You know, everyone's like, I bet you're stuck in bed at the moment I get No, I'm working. I'm very busy. I wish I was stuck in bed. I haven't watched the latest three episodes of Drag Race, and I miss it.

Well, that's partly why I decided to into the office today. I nearly worked from home, but I thought, no, I'll be selfless and I'll infect Mitchell so that he has an excuse to stay at home in bed Rock Lovely.

I got to start packing soon. I got to move in two weeks. What.

Yeah, I didn't know you had a placeline that.

I don't want to announce where I'm moving yet because it's not locked in.

But turn the mics off and tell me. Yeah, ah, that sounds dreadful.

No, No, it's the right choice and it's gonna be nice. It's going to be really faulty and oh my god, it's bougie. I'll talk about that soon. Why why is there an embargo on your move Channel seven? Because it's part of domestic Blitz. I want to announce it first on their twitch stream with Katrina round Tree, of course, because they're doing breakups. I used to love domestic Blitz. Bring is it just me on the fly? Or bring back domestic Blitz?

Is that the same as backyard Blitz?

No, Domestic Blitzer was for the family, for the people that were very very ill. Oh like people that were not long left, and they would go in with bedsaws and they'd go and renovate their house in retrospect. Nothing I'd want more than if I was in palliative care to have a tradey shitting in my spare toilet.

I have no memory of that.

Google it, you'll know it'll come.

I don't remember them focusing. I remember backyard sure, but I don't remember them doing it for like gravely ill people.

Domestic Blitz was exclusively grave people. I remember one episode they brought them back in a stretch limo and the woman took it a month to get out of the cars as well.

Do you remember a gorilla gardener?

Oh, sounds familiar.

They just if there's like a bit of an eye saw, like a disgusting alley, they just go in there in the dead of night and make it really pretty. There's still a bit of Sydney. Yes, there's some Gorilla Gardener artwork that I see on the way to Entertainment Quarter.

Yes, yes, you're so right.

Oh, I forgot that was a great show.

That's a little car with the roundabout. Isn't that funny that that's stuck around? And it's such like an iconic part of culture now it.

We should probably sorry with throats fucked, which would probably end the breakup episode by talking about breakup song recommendations. Oh my goodness, or is that more of a main show thing?

I think that's a main show thing.

We could I've got top five.

I mean, haven't I shown you? Which I've shown you my playlist? Right? You know, I show you my plains?

Are any of the songs that I recommended?

Let me get them up for you. So these are the recommendations Mitchell sent to me, which I was shocked. I should have come to you sooner, Mitchell.

I don't know why I had so many ready to go. Yeah, bring that one up on YouTube?

Which ones?

There was one of them that wasn't an Apple Music link, which, by the way, I don't even fucking have Apple Music, but for your convenience, I was searching these breakup songs and send me the Apple link.

Oh that's very sweat. I'm an Apple Music boy.

It was called loss on You by LP, but the live version is much better.

Year holl moment anyone going through a breakup.

This for you, Lost on You LP, when you gir old the plain a saint when you remember on the danger winking, I don't know what from I cumbers calling along before the days of sertain years ago.

He thinks better and will you know spoke on? Have you got on? Because it's going down? Ever on it was you. That's why I'll never have.

To never because I don't know.

Lass to anything. I've lost.

Every lossing up.

Also how talented. She's also got an eggshaker in hand.

It's your contribution, someone says, three forty seven.

No matter how many times they listen, this subpart gives me goosebu I'll go to that. I mean, look, you've got to be in the headspace for this.

But a peloton to this song like a week ago, did you?

Oh, oh, you're not in the headspace for this?

No, No, I was, But I'm just I'm just prefacing it for other people.

Okay.

One of the songs, did you send me one? This is great? The gays all love this.

Which one?

This is my current breakup?

Oh this is quite perfect.

It is, yes, yes, quite perfect, Renny, you'll know it as soon as it starts.

Oh yes, Mary you Mitchell to very angry phase appropriate.

Ah, Lady Gaga, perfect delusion. It wasn't alove, he wasn't me in my car every fucking morning. Get me angry. Guys, this is not a good idea because I'm gonna get mad. Hello, why don't you.

Go to fair?

I don't know.

If you've had it on repeat you thought you would have absorbed some of it. No, No, I also sent you you Ort to Know by Alanis Morris.

That's a great one.

But this is for the angry phase. I've also got more recommendations per phase.

Everyone did together, that's all free of it's.

This is so started, leave me alive, going lovely on point.

Gosh, this is really helping.

I would have loved to have sang with you, but my voice is of course yeah yeah, yo, Oh.

Can I just say one meat? I think you like this?

Yeah, this is brilliant what angel eyes, Yeah, angel eyed by other?

I don't know if I okay, you'll get it ready, keep thinking angels? When I l long around the river and I saw him together with a girl and they gave you any ship? Because where should mean that? Waits up?

I just think like this song is a bit too perky for a breakup, don't you reckon? There's so many good Abbart breakup songs like what knowing Me knowing you? Oh yeah, let me get that or Winner takes it All?

O s O s Oh, you're right, I can't. I haven't got across any of those. I'm adding this right now.

While players.

That's good for the wallowing face.

Yeah wow?

Ready any house?

Do you see my?

Oh ship? We're hitting too close to home.

Here we swear the story.

Missus K.

Yeah, I definitely still.

There is nothing.

Can I just say? I don't know if it's a pro or a con. I feel it's a pro of going through a breakup that songs like this just hit different they do.

You're so right.

I enjoyed it even though it was only you know. Like I said last week, it was I dated a douchebag for two months in Uni and I still felt songs like that hit way harder.

Yeah, oh yeah, well years it was kind of not Yeah, that's a little too close to her.

Sorry, now I should have prefread it.

No, no, no, no, no, I'm definitely what about this? What happened?

Bad? Oh? These were our phone calls?

Am I whispering?

Are you.

That's reiterating everything you said? You're like, I'm having a bad day.

Bad day?

Okay, enough enough about let's start. Let's start a break up playlist. It'd be nice that it'd be very nice. Got im very open and raw. That's actually what I had a psych what he said, I had stop it. I had a psychic reading from John Edward.

Really the big dog.

He was on my radio show and he was reading other people. Then at the end he's like, Mitch, can I ask you? You're twenty seven eight? I'm twenty eight, so yeah, you're saturags for joining And I was like, what is that? And Saturn comes in seven year cycles, like the orbit of Saturn around Earth and this year is my Saturn return, which means that is that a good or bad thing? Horrific? Massive changes? Massive?

Oh so massive massive changes isn't a bad thing.

I will send you the audio because there's some things that you and I know and really, oh my, really good.

I got a cycic reading too. Oh when at the Middle Beach Sunset Market in Darwit, you just like Sean recommended it.

Did you talk about this or just privately you told me privately? I don't know if we I don't know.

I voice memot it in case there was anything good in there to plan on the podcast, but I obviously I haven't gone back to it, so maybe there wasn't anything decent. The long story short was that they said that I'm going to get a lot of work on cruise ships as an entertainer.

Wow.

And that Sewan is going to discover his passion for sewing and start a clothing line, and we're going to adopt two children, and she specified neither of them are white.

Oh wow, that's what a detail.

It was very specific.

That's impressive.

And I said, what about the podcast I'm working on? Oh yeah, and she goes, stick with it. It's good for you, but one day you're going to be too busy for it, with all the cruisey of entertaining and clothing lines you're running and the black Hue. I was like, Okay, I'm sure I could juggle the podcasting amongst all that I can take my mic on the crew.

We've got a portable studio. Yeah, we can make it work.

Yeah. She also said, has your grandmother passed? I said, no, neither of them. She goes, well, then, who's this old woman talking to me? I was like, I don't know, what do you tell me?

What do you mean?

She goes, who's this old woman talking to me? She's watching over you. I was like, Hey, who's this sick bitch that I don't know watching over me?

She's just stalking you. You've got you've got a stalker from beyond the grave. Yeah, miss the old woman. But did she say? By the sounds of it, she was annoyed? Can you tell who is she? She won't leave me alone, nothing to do with you.

Just kidding.

I would not think of it any one that it could have been. She goes, she's telling me that you two were very close, and I'm like, well, that doesn't narrow it down at all, because, like, there's plenty of old women I know that are dead, but I wasn't close to any of them.

Telling me she loves your videos. She loved the Lisa Wilkins and Hair one. She died the day after that came out. Wait, do you know any old women that have died?

Yeah, like my great grandmother who I met once on her deathband.

But you weren't closer.

No, there was my piano teacher. She died, but she was only fifty or sixty. It was a tragic there suddenly well cancer, but yeah.

It's tragic. Yeah. Were you close with your piano teacher?

Well, she was closer with my sister. I was more the annoying brother that didn't actually like piano. So the poor thing trying to make me focus, imagine.

Could have been her.

Yeah, but is she close enough to stalk you?

There have been times over the years, like when I discovered masturbation that I thought, fuck, I hope missus done. Isn't watching from heaven? You know how you have those in truth you thoughts. We're like, if it's true that people watch over, it's when they're dead. I hope they're not watching right now.

But don't they say they're not like in their human form, they're like an orb floating or something.

Like the spirit.

Yeah, this bloody lady at the market specifically said, they're watching over you. The weird thing was that I sat down and she goes, you're an entertainer, aren't you. I was like, yeah, that's debatable. It depends who you ask you are, and she goes, I knew it. I was like, how could you tell? And she goes, well, you're recording me right now in secret, aren't you. I was like, oh shit, which I did have a voice memo going, did.

You put your phone face down on the table? No, is in your pocket?

I sort of like had it in my hand with the pop sock. I didn't really put it away. Interesting, but I was very subtle not to show her the screen, and so she thought, so, who's your piano teacher? Missus done? She never she had said some old bitches watching over me. She didn't really narrow down on that because I said, I've got no idea who that is she?

So how old would she be?

Now?

She wouldn't be that old, though, I.

Want to say like seventies maybe.

But like I picture like a ninety year old.

Nah.

How old was she when she passed?

I think it was only fifties or sixties.

Missus done? If you're in this room, now make it known.

She taught me the keyboard, not the Hulk.

You're told.

She's haunted and she's pissed off. She never paid for the last bill.

I don't think she is. She had to politely ask my mum stop bringing Mitchell. He clearly doesn't give a fuck about learning piano. He's so adhd he's all over the shop.

Missus Duane, what was the last song you taught Mitchell on the keyboard?

It was when the Saints Go Marching in So if you played when the Saints Go Marching and I would have been very freaked out.

Oh no, this is she said. I'm getting her. Sorry, she's coming through to me. She says, this is the one song that he wishes he'd learned.

It's what's that?

I don't know? Missus Dane says, you wanted to play Monster.

By Rihanna, a song that hadn't been released when I was learning piano. You know what song I've always always always wanted to just have up my sleeve as a party tw it. I just take everyone by surprise and start playing it at a party and blow everyone away. The Thomas the Tank Engine theme song. Bring that up on YouTube. Just an actual person playing it on the piano, so impressive.

It's got a real hefty base.

To me, and it's a great breakup song. Imagine everyone at the house party going me play a piano I've seen like all of a sudden, I'm on it's the Tank Engine cover toc because the amount of fucking piano covers I see of the time. It's the Tank Engine Themes song because they know that that's my dream. If only missus done, we're here to teach me.

Oh stop, she's here, this is done, getting bitch.

That sounds just like her doorbell.

I'd love to play this on piano ready. Phantom of the Opera, so worst musical.

Phantom of the Opera is a masterpiece.

Andrew Lloyd Webber is hardly Noah, you could nail that. Actually it's one not.

This way.

I think you can play.

It's pretty simple.

Yep.

Oh hello.

Anyway. A special shout out to that fuckhead that said the podcast is too long?

Can you not edit anything this week?

I don't plan to much.

A lot of people often ask if they can podcast film the whole show these days, which we film the whole show, but they put the whole show up.

I started putting videos on my YouTube channel. It just as an experiment of our podcast. Yeah have you? Yeah? I haven't promoted them yet because I want a few up there, like shorts, Oh like twelve minute videos.

You're kidding? Why do you know that? Can I get one up if you want? What's your Mitchell Coombs?

So far, all I've put is Ladybug Part one and two?

Brilliant, brilliant.

We look gorgeous. And see my NN widescreen?

Really?

Oh that's my favorite angle?

Yeah? Can you change the screen so I can see it too?

Oh? Yeah, so sorry, you're.

Right, everyone like subscribe head to my channel.

Well we should have announced this or is this like a beta test?

I was just putting them up there as a test, and then once there's a few up there, I have got a moral conundrum. I need your two cents on here. Okay, a close eye on my Instagram you would know that I'm currently in my walking era.

I've got you muted, unfortunately, but I can imagine.

Well, I'm making it known that people listen to a podcast. I really was us talking and I was like, right, okay, I need to fucking up the end. I got a natification the other day not to this.

I'm sorry, but that was weird listening to us as if we're not us. Oh, Jenny sucking a god with popcorn, fat bitch.

It was sorry, it was we Oh yeah, I didn't notice that Jenna has had all this food on the desk in front of her in this video, and he never addressed it.

We just be you cut to her.

She does, what a pig, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

Has got a handful of sweet and salty popcorn like open jar of Pringles, a push pop and then Cadbury chocolate bikies.

Now we never addressed him in this video.

Is pre diabetic and your hunch you're so excited, like, oh that's really funny.

Well there, go ahead along to my YouTube channel if you want to watch videos, and I'll post a few more. Okay, please do Should I upload your should I upload your break up announcement? And let's not okay for.

The time being, I'm sure you can do something else. Yeah, okay, shall we go, guys?

Sure, I hope this, We hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent bete today.

That's all so we do.

You're out of practice? Do that again?

So we do.

That was also a bit out of.

Sun One More Time Ago Jennet so we Oh she's missus Button.

Take us out, Missus Dunne, take us out, Dunny Guys, Love You?

Is It Just Me?

Podcast by a couple of meches.

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