#146: Pig Week 3.0

This is Is it just real?

Hosted by a couple of mitches.

Hello, Yeah, delease yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.

I'd rather be dead.

Let be called gunkle, that nickname for gay uncle.

Just because I'm gay doesn't mean you need to change the word.

Imagine if they were like God, he's put on weight. Funkle's here, give a uncle? No is Mitch, Julie and Mitchell COO's.

Hello, Hello, Hallo, Piggy's Hello, little pigs.

You know what time it is?

The third? I believe the third Annual pig Week. Annual pig Week is here if you've not yet joined us for a pig week. Essentially, we give ourselves and you permission to pig out on whatever fucking treat you like. And there's no guilt allowed this week because it's pig week.

To be fair, there's never much guilt. I mean, I'm very overweight and I've never felt an ounce of guilt, so I'm definitely not going to feel it on my week of weeks.

I know. But you've been really healthy and boring recently too, like oh, I can't have coffee after eleven shit like that, And so this is like just a whatever week. So anyone listening right now, I hope that you've before listening, you've gone and treated yourself, headed out and bought that fucking thing you've been craving for ages. Just do it, bye.

Last year's Pig Week was sponsored out the world Zoo. We had to pretend we all love that Darily chocolate. Then we actually ended not like it. Now we ended up loving the Darily chocolate.

Oh yeah, no, I'm fucking still obsessed with that stuff.

It was not sponsored this week. This week is just pure unadulterated fat food that we love.

I am being sponsored, but that's all right. Oh are you? I bought all of today's snacks thanks to Cole's Express. I'll have you know you.

Actually everything you do is sponsored, not everything, Oh it is?

Nah, name one thing you do that isn't sponsored. Oh, I can't think of the top of my head. Not not everything I do.

I went to Mitchell's house Jenna.

He lives into seven eleven price keeper Jenn's here, of course, high price case, so usual.

I can see Jenna's got a stack of fucking food over there. She's ready for pick, ready for pig Week.

What do you have shows. What'd your bring?

I got cooked some more biscuits and some chocolaterold the mart.

What kinds?

So Cadbury cookies with a chok center.

Oh, they okay?

And then also these obsession for milk chocolates. I've wanted to try them for.

A while away from Audie.

No, they're actually on its.

Yeah, I've never seen those in my look.

They look gorgeous, really good. Yeah.

Also I got the new Cabrey slices.

Actually, you're out of breath. You okay, she's having diabetic attacks.

Cadbury sent me these for us to try. Well, great, they're Cadbury's new slices.

Shammy slices.

I haven't even heard these.

You are struggling to hold things.

Sorry, excited a little bit, marvelous creations a bit.

There's Crackle Hedgehog and mint cream Hedgehog.

She's got a fucking box over there, and the chocolates are in one too, dairy milk slices, Crackle old goals. She's right, Oh, I want gonna open one? Can we because we're allowed one bite? We can't eat.

I've got you don't have to ask for mission. I think it's everyone assumed it's like some people. Some people hate people eating on podcasts, but this is not the week for you, darling.

I've brought everything to my side. Yeah, we have a cookie. I've got the hedgeog.

Everyone. So you're sponsored too. That was from the station major sponsor, So you're sponsored to. I have eaten half of it though, that's fine. I don't want to buy out of your sausage. Do you want to see what I brought? Yeah. So I've been hearing a lot of hype recently about KFC bringing back the mashies. Oh yeah, And I was like, I don't know what the fucking mashi is. I didn't know what. I've never had mine.

There.

Fantastic KFC mashes were big. I think they've been gone for ten years really, yeah, ten years, ten years hiatus and now they're back and people have gone crazy for these things.

Yeah, I didn't even know that they were missing. I have no memory of them. So this is my first ever mashy.

Is it just deep fried mashed potato?

I think so. It's like a popcorn chicken, Benezetta chicken. It's fucking potato. Go all right, here we go, Happy Pig Week Australia. Happy pick Week, Girlies.

That's a wet ball.

Here we go, Well, not much.

Crunch, that's that's a softy ball.

This cookies, it's definitely a soggy ball, but it fucking slaps. Actually really, it's like you know how you can get ks potato and gravy. Here's the gravy. That's the potato.

It over here.

Gay. Do you remember how the first pig Week came about. Yeah, it's because I was about to go and see a new personal trainer and he told me that he was going to be monitoring my my Fitness Pal accounts so we could track what I was eating. And I was like, oh, we'll have to pick up as much as I can before he starts tracking my eating. How fucking toxic in hindsight, I would never agree to that. Now someone tracking what I eat?

Yeah, oh my god, I remember that. And then did we bring? We brought heaps of shit, right, We had a barbecue chicken one. Yeah.

Yeah. The first Pig Week, I remember feeling quite ill.

These mashes are fucking brilliant.

Yeah, they're gorgeous. Actually, I understand the hype. Now, oh, your face has got a bit sour. What's the problem. It's stuck in my wind pipe. It's a bit clad glue like you know. That's not very fucking complimentary of it.

I've just had. This is my third so I.

Only got a twelve packs. I settled down. Now, coming up today because it's Pig Week, we're going to be doing another top five. Last year, I believe it was the top five chocolates.

Yes, and darra.

Lee one because it deserves to win, not because it was sponsored.

And that's true. I can say it was our sponsor and I was skeptical, but it did.

It was.

It was so good. But this year we're doing the top five potato chips for the international listeners. We're not talking about fries, no, no, no, no, We're talking potato chips. Hard crunchy chip. What do they call it? Crisp thins?

Crisps?

Yeah, I think Americans would call it a bag of cresps.

They call them something something else now they just chips. Yeah, they call them chips, and they've got French fries.

Yes, you're yeah, Okay, well you know we're talking about a bag of bloody chips. That's what we're gonna be writing the top.

Down like this. Yeah, that is what a bag of chippy sounds.

I'm going to be nominating my favorite two. You're going to be nominating your favorite too, Jenna. You're going to have to round us out with the fifth one. Correct. And we've got idiot Callum here today. We do sort of eavesdropping on the show. Maybe he should do the ranking. I feel Calum's out there in the phone room. Hih, idiot Callum.

Hello you Happy pick week, Tyler.

What a great week for you to fucking be.

Here making a comment on my web.

No, it was in We never cater for our guests ever. I've seen some podcasts have like catering. They've got a whole fucking plate of sandwiches for their guests. We don't do that.

That's actually really true. Whenever I've guessed on someone else's show, I get like twenty like Royalty, we're terrible hosts. Not today, though, Calum, No.

I'm feeling very welcomed, especially by the words Mike on fuctard written on the microphone here is that?

What's on there?

Yeah, there's a warning out there. It says Mike on fuck hard in case people accidentally talk while they're on here, because he's a live broadcast studio for Kiss. I think that was something an internal gag. You've just told everyone that's fine.

That's fine. Do you want to buy this sausage roll? Do you want any of this? Calum?

I actually brought my own stuff for pigwee.

Oh god, you're good.

Come in the studio, warned.

Though, be warned?

What is there?

Oh?

My god? Have I got time for a mashing in the time it takes him to get in here.

These cookies are really tall, isn't he? It's very handsome.

It's so much tall. It's the first time I've seen someone tall than you to.

Be how told you?

Yeah? I'm six three three? And what do you I tell people I'm with Mike On? Oh you've got an enviro bag?

It's a cancer council bag. Courtesy of idiot Jenny Love.

Shout out quickly, we should introduce Calum. Calum, the head of the idiots. You're the moderator of our Facebook group.

Yes, and you just happened to be in sid and said, can I come fucking eavestop on the show and just have a sticky big What do you think so far? It's not as glamorous as you might expect.

It's nice sitting out there. It's a bit like I don't know to wrong. Yeah, just kind of looking at an enclosure of beasts.

You can say it. It's okay, ye, it's during feeding hour. Yeah, evidently. Now what do you have in your bag?

Okay?

I have a few things, because you know it's peak week. You can't just bring one thing, okay, classic, a bag of balance party mix, well done.

Yeah. The milk bottles.

I've also got, because you were talking about it a couple of weeks ago, a couple of Yogo flips.

It's good on them.

Do you want chop chip or eminem eminem throw it?

Oh my god, it's a room temperature and I'll look past that.

It was a long wait. I can imagine d that's good.

I also have a gift from Jenny, who I met this morning, gorgeous. She got us all pushed hops because we mentioned cylindrical treats a couple of weeks.

Like me, what a throwback.

I'n't had a pushpop for age exactly, Sean was telling me on the weekend. Sorry, I don't no, I won't go into that sick.

We have five flavors here, so you guys can fight amongst yourself. We've got strawberry, berry Blast, grape cool cola, not just regular color or blue raspberry.

So.

Strawberry strawberry.

Wow, I'm going to vomit. I think I'm gonna have yogurt. And is this yogurt or is it like just it?

Yes, it's yogurt. Yeah, it's yoga. I thought it was like chocolate pudding.

The fact that it's like.

You were talking about our fond memories of yoga flips in depth and you thought it was a fucking pudding. Yeah the whole time.

No, like a chocolate moose. I don't think it was actually like from a cow.

No, it's chocolate yogurt.

Oh, I think might be something similar chocolate. Yeah, yeah, yeah, situation. You've got the receipt cow great to have you here. That they're lovely gifts.

Yeah, there is one more. It is a bit fucked though, because at the time of recording. Yeah, Tina Turner did pass away this morning.

Yes, of course.

Did you see the musical last week? Jenna? Yes? Is that really eerie that you saw the Tina Turner musical and.

Crazy you were the last to see her perform.

She's not in the music the musical. Tina's not fucking hanging out at Theatre Royal on Pitts three. That makes sense now because everyone was there and I thought, God, I'd love to be at tonight's performance. It must be so emotion for them anyway. Sorry, what's fucked? You've got something fucked for us?

It's Tina in there.

Well, yes, I bought some Tina wafers.

That's very smart, very well thought about Strawbryvanilla.

So there's many options here, go for goal.

Oh wow, that's beautiful, Calum.

You better take a couple of things for yourself as wealth about the show. But you're going to be coming in later. We're going to drag you in here to help us rate the top five chips.

Oh will, I will also say we love having guests on the show. You have to eat into the microphone. It's weeks and please chews loud edition. You possibly can't.

We wouldn't. We wouldn't want to have you here just to be our guest.

We also have a task for you as the head of the idiots. Yes, we would love you today. Sort of put you through your paces. You've produced on this show before. You put together the best bits while Mitch and I were in a lush, very expensive holiday and you've sort of.

You know, dipped your toe in the radio world. You've got your own community show now, so you know, consider this work experience. I guess correct.

Charity, as you know, as you know, we've.

Already bot the cancer cancel bag. Please all right, you can't brend you to charity.

This was your maker wish dreams come true?

Is that why you flashed in the face.

Yes, yes, the IV was a dead giveaway.

We would like you in the time that you have until we get there on the show today too, organize it is it just you caller?

Oh, I thought it was gonna be hot, fantastic, Yeah, get three. We just need a question. We just need one.

Well, in the time I have you guys waffle on, so.

We really Yeah, you're not wrong. There's not much of a challenge. Oh yeah, no, a challenge accept it's someone that has an is it just you? Something they've noticed they hate or appreciate. I will tell you the idiots tend to waffle on. I'm the one who gets them every week, and I get messages going, Hi.

Mitch, is it just me?

Or is today Wednesday? Shut?

Is that? Why? Is that why you've delegated to idiot callum? Because you couldn't be fucked finding a caller this week.

It's pick week, it's my week of weeks.

It's like my rama dum, this is like your lent, this is this is so please get an is.

It just you caller? You've probably got you know, good twenty minutes to do it.

Yeah, you can do that or less because sometimes our is it just me? It's the ones that we do that can be short and sharp or they can waffle on. So yeah, it's a bit of a gamble. Make sure it's someone who hasn't been on the show before, though I can't become the show before.

Do you accept the challenge?

Challenge accepted. All right, good luck sounds good? Right, all right, you can head back out now, get back to work.

Bit.

You're right and I'm dragging off the sausage troll.

Thanks Callum, Thanks Calum.

I always got donut socks on too. Anyway, should we get into it?

Right?

Listen if it your first time listening a stupid episode to start on Happy Pig Week. Every week we start the show the same way. Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't o mine.

I don't know.

Mitches this week? For me, I it's something that I I hate and appreciate. I appreciate it because it's hilarious, but I hate it because it has to do with my job and my career and my night radio.

Showright, Okay, that's it.

That's what I've got this week.

Would you want to go first?

Then?

Yeah? Shall I jump in?

Go for it?

You guys can eat while I do mine, which is good. That's the best part about pigwek while someone else is toll.

It's going to be a monologue. You know, we're not talking back? Oh sorry, wrong music, Calm down, all right, kick things off? Gay? Is it just me? Has the curse?

That Mitchell predicted officially come true on my radio.

Show Get Fucked. I think it has.

Are you serious?

I think it has because I was saying last week that at the same time, on the exact same day, a bunch of news outlets had a blooper occur at midday, which, by the way, I had someone who listens to this show right in. They work at three a W in Melbourne, and they also had a fuck up midday on Tuesday.

Should we go back and listen three W.

Well, apparently it was a fuck up that on air was smooth and seamless, but on their end all the computers went to black and so he was just aimlessly clicking, going I hope to fuck, I'm firing off the right things. I imagine you just going in blind and having a blindfold trying to hit the right sound effect.

It's shocking.

Oh so, yeah, the curse is alive and real.

Here's the thing.

I didn't fuck up because I'm a contument professional. However, we have a new team member on the night show team, the radio show we do at nights for Kiss. She's a new traffic presenter. Traffic is in between songs and ads on the radio we have to go to traffic because people are in their.

Cars, they're driving. We've talked about traffic.

Do you think Jenna and I have just been born or something.

I'm not talking to you, I'm addressing to people listening in case.

I'm Most people know what traffic is.

Okay.

We have a new traffic reporter on my show, and for my liking, she's far too fucking chirpy for her own good.

Oh do you reckon? She should be a bit more like doom and gloom. Oh, it's a fucking nightmare on our own. Imagine me as a traffic reporter.

Oh that's what I want.

I'd be like, stay home, not worth it now past your road's fucked.

She's far too happy to be reporting on horrendous accidents that have happened on the road.

Oh yeah, that's a bit fucking tricky you.

She gets pleasure from reporting on the traffic incidents. So this is during my show, I throw it on an ad break and this is the live traffic report that went to where last night on Kiss and listen to this.

Look how the multi hingicle crash on the road at Samantha Riley Drive, closing one family and on sept we have a car breakdown on Manly Road of Eppel Street causing heavy traffic eastbound. In Diron Matto there's been a truck breakdown from Victoria Road on ran from jams through Strive calling eastbound delays. And just to reminder that tonight in Waterloo we had scheduled maintenance bus on Macklom Street at Gabiball Avenue from ten am to five am. Clarendon

Say you pep up, pep up?

She couldn't pep up if she tried.

No, are you right? Actually she needs to pep down? Yes, too much.

Imagine if she was sand Ba Sully and she's like, good evening. We've had a triple homicide today on our streets.

Exactly. That's horrendous.

Fourteen car pile up, twelve dead outside of school in South Melbourne.

Right now, hungry Jack's too for one meal.

See that bit at the end, the little ad the credit line. You're allowed to be perky for that but the rest of the traffic report, I feel that you have to have an air of sorry about that told to your voice, like, well the two car pile up as if like, oh, that's not good. But she's like a two car pile up racing now.

She's almost advertising and I think, yeah, fourteen did get in while you care?

We also saying where we're currently blah blah, yes, yeah, yeah, Ki Claruso doesn't do that.

Wait, that's a good pickup. She's caused these accidents.

She sounds like she's a hitman detailing what she's working on. We're currently got a fucking two car pile up. Yeah, that with me, I've caused in nineteen.

Cards trapped her incident. Are you my way?

Oh?

It's just laughable. And I'm sure she's a lovely woman. She's very new as well.

Are you going to give her the feedback?

Oh?

I think that'd hurt her feelings. I don't think I could. Oh, you've just besmirched her name publicly on our multimillion dollar Growthing award winning pod.

She's doing a brilliant job.

Just pull back a bit. Yeah, read the room. But people aren't happy there, like people in that traffic are cursing your name totally.

It's too positive. It's far too positive. Yeah, okay, anyway, that's that's something that I noticed.

I've kind of got a very similar is it just me this week, but it's the opposite where people aren't positive enough. Oh really, okay you want to jump in yep, I'm ready, all right, let's go. Is it just me? Is the whole point of going to a comedy show to fucking laugh?

You?

No?

Shit? Is that not the point?

Yes, that's the whole to get mad at we laugh at your shows.

No, I believe that you guys. There was a couple of times I did hear your Broottonus laugh over the crowd, Mitchell.

It was there.

Yeah, only a couple. But there was a few people that said to me after my comedy shows which I did in Sydney last week, they were like, oh my god, that was so great. I had to try and stop myself from laughing too loud. I was like, why would you do that to me? Yeah, that's stupid. Why the fuck would you try and stop yourself from laughing. That's actually what I'm aiming to achieve here.

It's like a paramedic home from a hard day at work and going, God, I almost had to stop a heart attack, like, yes, you did, hope you did.

It's like going to a brothel for a fucking chat, you know, No, you're there for a fuck and you're at a comedy show for a laugh.

Yes.

One of my neighbors from bogen Gate, she goes, I had to stop myself from laughing. I was like, what, You've come all this way hour and you're not gonna laugh at me even bloody alright. Hay came to my opening night and he was like, oh my god. I was trying so hard not to laugh too loud, which, by the way, he needs to try a bit harder because he was laughing so fucking loud. There was one point where I had to acknowledge it because I could hear him laugh over everyone I was recording that night.

Sounds like a tickle me Elmo.

But that's the sort of people I want in the crowd because it's a little bit like sometimes if it's a bit of a dud knight, I feel all it takes is one loud laugh up that gives everyone else permission to laugh. It's like a Mexican wave. One person starts it and eventually everyone cottens on.

Yeah, you're right. I love it a loud one.

Yeah.

I just love having a loud, obnoxious laugh because sometimes if what I said wasn't that funny, people are laughing at the laugh.

That's very true.

There were people laughing like crazy. I mean, we had your show last Friday night at the time of record in Sydney. Met some lovely idiots. That was very very nice. But you the shows were you didn't No one had to force the laugh. It was very very good, Mitchell.

By the way, I thank you for you glad you think so. I was chatting to people after the shows and people coming up to me and I could see you just standing there, Mitchell, minding your own fucking business, and people would say to me, oh my god, I love the podcast, and I'm like, oh, thank you so much. Darlin. Cheer is here, by the way, you better go say hi. And then eventually I see you getting swarmed here.

There was a line at one point and I felt bad and then I did the same to your you know, Jenny's here, and then I said.

Yeah, no, no, they came over to me.

Then did they handle the yes?

What about that chick, speaking of which some people also say to me, Oh, I felt bad because at your show I was laughing too loud. I had to stop myself because I've got such an embarrassing laugh. No, no, no, I want people with unique laughs there because they just their music to my ears. What about that chick? We ran into Oh my God after the show, and she had the fucking most iconic laugh ever.

Well, yeah, the show was near the flight path, so I at one point thought that a three eighty was crashing, but it was just this girl coughing her lungs up because her laugh was so horrifical.

Didn't you record a voice memo? Yeah, on your phone?

I said to it, you need to stop and do it. Just cough into this microphone and laugh.

It was kind of like half a laugh, half a cough, like an emphasim a laugh.

I felt sorry for it. She needs to be checked out.

I heard it laugh, and then I laughed at her last.

See I love people like that.

Okay, so I can't remember her name, but we love you. This was her laugh cough laugh.

Okay, that's sick.

You can hear me in the background there, but I was talking like losing my ship falling over laughing, because that is such a satisfying laugh.

Hotly love you, Mitch. Funny than the show.

That was absolutely I'll hand it to her. I enjoyed that more than performing the show. Can I get it.

It's such a great laugh that actually makes my headphones rumble.

You haven't hand sanitizement.

That's sick. I'm so glad that I couldn't hear her laugh during the show, because that would have thrown me off.

The whole God. Yeah, fuck. She since passed away.

The report that she's died. She's no longer around barlet of course, cough girl. And we're very proud of your show.

So Mitch, thank you very well.

Is it just me?

That's enough of these two?

Look now, let's hear and is it just you? All right?

Idiot?

Callum? Put you to task. So far we haven't stopped down. Show has been live.

Where are you at?

I think I have I think I have someone yet?

Great? Okay, So see that computer in front of your yeah, down the bottom in the chat box, type in the name and number, and we'll take it from here.

Okay, okay, stand by, listen and is it just you?

Is something that you've noticed you hate or appreciate? Mitch and I have done aurgems, So now we're handing it over to you.

Idiot.

Callum has found one.

So and if you want to get on you get a prize as well if you make it on air. Sure you just got hit us up at couple of mitches on Instagram or you can send us a text for one two seven one two nine two.

We've made it very very easy for Callum because is the head of the idiots?

Yeah, that's it.

It's like telling them the head of the P and C at a primary school calling Alex.

Okay, here we go. Do we know what suburb Alex is from? You get Callum? Bellarette, Bellarette, gorgeous bellaratte Huh.

Hold on, this is a cold call, Norman. We haven't prepared and have you prepped Alex.

Barely Bluetooth and speaker.

Let's let's just assume they know if they go, I'm just going to try to play the sound fixt right away. Yes, there's a lot of rings, Callum, Bunny.

Tell her you calling.

It's call. I'm gonna be furiously texting out there be like I need to back up, shut up?

I love it?

Is it just me?

Does it really fuck you off? When you say to someone, haven't I say? And they say thanks instead of you two?

You bitch?

Hi Alex.

Is the time I go to the bloody pharmacy, I say, have a lovely day, Paula and she goes, thanks, Alex.

Oh you're saying it to the person said you yes, oh everyone.

Or I'm on the phone at work and I say, oh, thanks, dol, have a lovely day, and they go thanks Alex.

Wait, what's your problem? They're not reciprocating it back. You too would yeah?

Yeah, yeah, oh you'd have to.

Do with so you too? Or are they may be too traumatized about maybe your time. They went to Macco's and got a quarter pounder meal and they said enjoy your meal and they said you too.

Yeah.

I always say drive safe to uber drivers or text He's like, thank you, drive safe and they got you too.

I'm walking that.

Sean noticed that the other night, and he's the queen of fucking manners, so he started incorporating that into his repertoire. Do you mean drive safe? He fucking thought that was so charming when you said that to you.

Yeah, you said it after the fact.

He's like, I'm adding that to my roller decks of fucking niceties.

Did I get a report card from Sean?

Yeah? What are the other notes for it? About you? Sorry?

Okay, sorry, yeah, Alex, maybe you need to be more convincing. Let's do a little role play pretendor at the chemist and we'll see how you say it, because it might be you.

Jenner is your pharmacist. Jenne's a pharmacist. You've just prescribed her ozempic.

Okay, always Hi Jenna, Hi, I've got them pick.

Oh thanks, Jenna really needs that for him. Hey, how would you day?

Good?

That's good?

Thank you?

Any busy one for you?

I'm very busy, so awkward.

Oh that's a shame. You're be excited when you go off work.

Yeah yeah, all right.

Well you have a good day you too? Oh? Thanks, no problem.

Right.

So, on a scale of one to Jenna, how rude are the farmers if you're actually dealing.

With well, one a scale of one to Jenner, I say she's never going to be a professional actors.

That was the worst experienced Jenner has a very good improv yes, and you went no, but the complete yes.

I know that's improv No.

No, And so what do you do for work, Alex? You mentioned that you have to deal with people on the phone a.

Log at school.

What was that, I'm always on the French people. I'm the music administrator at a school.

Oh right, yeah, we're in school. That was right now if we fucking dragged away from work?

Oh, I was just making a tasty.

Oh gorgeous, lovely. Well, thanks for being available at the last minute when we sit Calum that challenge.

That's all right. I'm always here for my boy cow we love.

How long have you been listening for It's.

Not My Cup of Tea?

God, you're good, Alex.

I just followed you when you evolved beach Tours.

Oh yeah, well, thanks for sticking around. I'm glad I haven't boarded it as yet.

Yeah.

One thing I've noticed, True doesn't gag when people talk about and then cut anymore.

I know because I've grown up True. Because also, this particular podcast right here, right now has outlived Not my Cup of Tea. We've done more episodes, so I don't think not my Cup of tea is a threat anymore. Totally.

Yeah.

My friends used to laugh at all the sitcoms before, but then when it became friends need to that's us.

Did you say you're a music teacher.

I'm the he's an administrator, but I do teach trumpet sometimes.

Really.

Wow, Well i've got your favorite student, John here. John performed for Alex.

Wow, John, you've been practicing. That's better than the Chip Hook Cross fans you played to me last week.

Thanks John.

I haven't learned how to share the stage yet.

I haven't planned how to bring it in yet, and I freaked out.

Thanks Alex our dm DM oh idiot, idiot Calum and he'll get.

Your private by the way, Alex, don't forget. It's pig Week this week. Alex. So when the episode drops, what are you going to be pigging out on? What's your guilty little tree?

Oh? We'll mash. He's about a KFC which has.

I've got them right in front of me. It's my first ever mashing.

Oh they'll be the best. I'll listen to them, listen to eating them, and I'll eat myself.

Yeah, what are you going to eat for pig Week?

When it comes to the perfect the wrong time.

While that would have been so good to do a take two go on, that would be so.

I can see you're in one of these foul sound effect moods today, so get out of the system at your time.

You're sorry, it's really good, Alex, stay there, Jenna, what are you having for pease?

Mitch has mashes? Jenna?

What are you having for pig Week this week?

Tell us at your time?

Your bubble tea can be as unique as you.

I like to keep it simple, Ky, you have to find.

The right one.

You did so fucking many.

My favorite chantey, that's what you needed. Okay, here we go.

Okay, take that well, Mitch has the mashes, Jenna, what are you having for pigweek?

Tell us what you brought?

My favorite chart time is Poppet like his peach.

Line is brown sugar with that would have been perfect had you executed it well. Yeah, as you can see, idiot callum, it's a very well oiled machine. We run around here.

I'm kind of scared because I'm glad I'm on this side of the glass.

I'll just say that, Well, you're about to jump in here, so I wouldn't get to a company out there.

God, yeah, shall we bring him in?

Yeah we better. Alex, lovely to have you on the show. Have a good day.

Oh thanks everyone?

All right, shall we do a top five.

Top five this week? We are ranking the top five potato chips, the ones you get in the bag, not the chips that you'd get at the bloody fish and chip shop, none of that. And so idiot Callum who was here just kind of sitting in on the show today, we're putting him to work. We're all nominating our favorite chips. Get in here, please, Callum.

Take a seat. You're going to We're going to provide you with our choices, and then your job is to rank them from five to one.

Need a pen and paper.

I've got a phone problem solving skills.

I'm good forget, I offered. Okay, so I've brought my two favorite chips Jenna, Yes, I bought hers for her. But there you go. You've got yours and then you've got the other two and it's going to be rounding it so out. So it's even five. Who wants to nominate their chips first?

I'll go first, Okay, yeah, okay, So my food chips are two classics.

I actually in organizing this. Mitch and I sort of have many a phone call. I don't eat that many chips.

We started bickering over the phone while we were debating the mind you, so I was like, save it for the podcast, and then he mentions I don't even like that many chips. I was like, we don't have to do a top half if you don't.

Even it's ironic because that's like a black bear saying I don't like fish.

It's like you've got you've got very few chips that you like, yes, and then there's no middle ground. All the others you just fucking despise.

Oh, I won't touch. I will not touch.

My two entries are the Red Rock Deli Sea salt and balsamic vinegar.

Oh see, I don't like salt and vinegar in general. Really. I mean, if if I'm not fucking picky, if they're there at the party, I'll have a couple. Yeah, but I would never ever choose them. If I don't feel like.

The joker at the end of a chip session after eating salt and vinegar, I'm not happy, Like you know how the corners of your mouth get all cut, your tuck.

Gets all slicedyle.

Good time to me. Oh I love that. Suck them over to idiot taste test each one. Why does this one say yeah? Why does this one say balsamic vinegar not just saltan vinegar. It's different.

It's a deeper, more nuanced vinegar flavor. It's more you try calm.

Have you had this one before?

No?

I don't think I have.

I thought these were very very strong smell and the brand must be Red Rock Deli. Okay, we'll give it a go. Yeah, this crunch, good crunch.

Okay, reserve your judgment for later.

Okay, my next chips callum the kettle, sweet chili and sour cream, right, chuck meat now.

Mind, I do like a sweet chili. But now when it's like everyone eating at the party goes they're actually really hot, like you know, when you just kind of shovel your mouth full of them and then you go, oh, wait, well there's an after taste.

Calum, you got a wish chip there?

Oh?

Do you want to wish ship?

Is?

No?

You fucking young generations.

I don't know what a wish chip is, Like, what do they signify a wishchip is?

When the chip is folded over and it's a heart. It's a it's got a good crunch because it's a half chip like a shell.

But didn't mean anything. It's not like a wishbone right where you snap it or something. You make a wishes, you chew it, you will make a wish calum gard.

For it, make a wish and chill.

I thought that's what this was. Yeah, oh yeah, it is your greedy with your wishes cloth the chip cream and chili sour cream and chili. Hmm, okay, but too chili.

No, it's a good balance.

Okay, okay. By the way, I did notice that both flavors come in both Kettle and Red Rock Deli. How come you differentiated?

It's very important, Okay, yeah, there is a different flavor profile to eat. It has to be those brands, and it has to be those flavors.

So the Red Rock Deli Sultan bal stomaic vinegar, correct, But never the Kettle Sultan vinegar. Never. Okay, I don't even want to look at them.

But jennk you pass me the balsamic, but your too chips?

All right, my two. And by the way, I have brought these out at many a party in recent months and The feedback from friends has been, Oh my god, I'm so glad we're in this era. I forgot these fucking existed. These absolutely slap it is. They're good old fashioned burgering.

That's a good one.

That's really good.

I got a party pack. You don't have to get stressed about what brand burgering. I think burgerings are burgerings. Really, burgerings are really good.

They must own the patent on them, because there's there's no burgering ripoff.

Burger men they got discontinued, Oh did they?

They're amazing little men that you eat. Used to bite their head off first.

I think the closest thing to a burgering would be a cheesel. But they're a bit fucking much for me.

I agree cheesels too much. Put on your fingers and have some fun.

Have you when it was the last time you had a bloody burgering years ago? They're good ship.

Yeah, childhood friend's birthday party?

Just come to my place, mate? Are there served fucking snacks every night?

Rings in?

Oh?

Oh, they've changed that recipe?

Bullshit? Give it here.

Let us try.

That does not taste like what I remember.

Now, that's a gorgeous. But oh god, it's so good. I couldn't even finish the let me try. There's nothing different about that.

What's up your No, it feels it with you. It feels weaker, the flavors not as there.

If Carlum hadn't put that idea in your head, you wouldn't have thought that. I reckon, Thank you, Jenner.

Okay, I know what it is. The flavor is enhanced after getting out of a pool.

Yeah, I assumed, like.

A childhood party, you've just had a swim for your mates, then everyone dives into the burger rings. It's a different experience.

Yeah, there's nothing quite like diving into the pool, getting the burgerings and having some, but then the next handful you get the soggy ones on grab before.

Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that I got the gigantic party bag of burger rings, whereas the tiny little package that you you know, you'd get those boxes of like favorite chips, you'd have all the tiny packets in a big box. Maybe, I don't know, there's something to do with the ratio.

Yeah, maybe there's a lot.

Of burglings in that packet. Maybe they kind of marinate in themselves when it's just a tiny little packet. Yeah, maybe my chicken one, my second one. I do need to paint a bit of theater of the mind. Okay, you're at the theater. M okay there, and this is one of the only few snacks on offer, and it makes you feel a bit lardy dark because you're like, oh, I'm at the theater. This is a special treat that I only get when I'm going to see a musical.

It is.

Get rid of it. That's not a chip in my eye.

Sorry, yes it is. I would like to say that I wanted to just buy the original Pringles, and it speaks volumes that they were sold out, so I had to get this meat Lover's pizza flavor, which I have not tried. But just bear in mind that it's Springles as a concept, not necessarily this flavor. Wow, which how can you not find Pringles so satisfying? They all tesselate what? Well, look, they all just they're all spooning.

Yeah you can see that, but no, because your hand gets stark and they all taste the same. I don't like them, no, And it's a biscuit that's.

Tastes the same it's a biscuit. What do you mean they will taste all.

The different varieties of pringles taste the same, that they're not unique.

I'll let you try the bloody I'll try see. Look at how they are just like cozy up to each other. People are with bitch when they get a big bag of chips all the air, it's a rip off. This doesn't happen the tins full. Try and they all squeeze in as many as they can because they're the same shape and they all so.

Your submission, Your submission is generic pringles. This is just what you could get.

Oh god, I haven't had this flavor of meat lovers, but it's interesting. But it's Pringles is a concept. Callum right, they're awful Calum, like old crust Calum with the judge.

They're a biscuit.

What do you think.

I mean?

It tastes like diluted meat lover's pizza.

Yeah no, they've kind of nailed that flavor.

But that is a very accurate flavor. Yeah yeah, Noel, yeah, widely where it stands cheery.

I don't understand your point where you say it's a biscuit, Like what what bisguit is? That thin.

This is a biscuit.

Yeah, look at the cookies and it's got a chip.

It's not because the chip is a potato chip. Are they made from potato?

Yes, yeah, they're just they are potato chips. They're in the chip aisle.

Look what I'm holding up. That's an actual chip with potato markings in it. The brown spot. They're processed, they're mashed, they're being forced into a cookie shape.

Well, it's like they've just got a cookie cutter, like they slice them all the exact same shape. It's not it's not haphazard like other chips. Anyway, I just don't like them, and I don't have to.

I don't have to.

So so far, the four we've put forward are the kettle chili and sour cream is it? Yeah, red rock, Deily salt and balsamic vinegar, the burger rings, the pringles, and now, Jenna, what are you putting forward? Okay?

So these are my favorite. I love these. They're a bit different to all of yours. So, Mitch, you're gonna hate this.

I I've chosen cobs, popcorn, lightly altered and slightly sweet.

Jesus Christ when I asked her when I was doing the shop. I said, are you sure you're going to put that forward in the top five? Absolutely, you're sure that's the strongest holster back here.

You know that's not a fucking gyp.

Yeah, but it's still in a chip.

Let me guess what was your next option? Grain waves.

I do love a grain waves.

I love a grain wave, but they're not a jip anyway.

Whatever, callum, you've been a judge.

See the thing about it's like a packet of popcorn. Popcorn has its place, but I think the microwave popcorn or the movie in a popcorn shit's all over this. This is like supposed to be help the conscious popcorn. And so it's cold, it's not that buttery. Oh it's nut free though, Oh really?

Yeah shit, I didn't. I was going to say, the three of us haven't been nut free for a long time.

Oh, I should get a few because it's salty and sweet, slightly salted.

That's embarrassing.

No, I think we know what number five is.

Well said, do you know what I all slaps?

By the way, while we're talking about popcorn, I have this vivid fucking memory of when I was in year five or U six or something, and they had a class party for like the last ave of the year and everyone had to bring a snack. I brought something that I thought was gonna win me so many friends because I thought it slapped, but everyone went, h yuck. Why'd you bring that rainbow popcorn? I love rainbow popcorn. It's just yark No, but I associate they're on part

Yeah, but again the pool experience. I think if you're going to enjoy rainbow popcorn, you need to have just had a swim.

I agree with Callum.

I also think we are missing out on the plane Smith's Sea Salt, like everyone loves a plane Sea Salt, Chippy, the Crinkle One.

Yeah, but that's safe. That's just too safe.

True. We've gone our favorites, what we always go by and what we stand by.

And if you're listening on Spotify, we might actually put in the comment section you can put forward any fucking ship that we may have neglected to put in the top five. I'll have it out with you. But who you should really be having it out with his calend because he's deciding the ranking to go. Well, have you worked on your thoughts?

Yes?

I have. Okay, it's a tough one.

Take your time and we'll begin with number five.

Okay, So look, I think it's pretty clear. The Cops sweet and salty popcorn.

Yeah, no, we knew that. Jenna's no. No offense to Jenna because I'm not defense. Okay, Well, when I have popcorn, I just want it fresh from like the cinema.

Yeah.

Otherwise sweet and salty, No, it just doesn't go. Doesn't feel like the Cobs. Popcorn is something that a well intended mother would get it like. No, I'm not getting your chips in more at the popcorn. It's more healthy. Yes, maybe it's the trauma.

My mother's done that before in a child's lunchbox, not in a broadcast studio.

Correct.

Correct, and Jenna stupid choice.

Number four? Number four.

Wow, Now this is tough. I was tossing up between two. I've decided to go number four. The Sultan Vinegar.

Oh fuck, that's one of yours, me over right?

Please?

You love to feel like the joker? I fucking hate it. Really, that is, there is nothing enjoyable about feeling like I've been slashed at the mouth after a packet of chips.

No, it's the sting. There shouldn't be repercussions with a chip.

No, I feel like I'm being punished for the Sultan vinegar. Yeah, it does repeat on you, but that also makes you remember that you had the experience, because if you don't remember loving it.

All exactly and then bid you accidentally licky lips and then you're like the remnants.

Imagine pashing someone after a Sultan viner.

Oh my god, shall we try it?

Callum?

No? Alright, so okay, now we're moving on to number three. Number three is pringles. Wow, oh co that means both of my You're in the top three, so I'm happy with that. Yeah, what's your idiot?

It's a texture thing.

I like a good crunch and pringles are good, but I don't feel as satisfied after crunching a pringle.

Probably because they don't have air bubbles and shit in the middle like something. Yeah, yeah, I think they're crunching. Maybe it's got some dunce.

I mean the flavors, all right, the Meat Lover's Pizza limited Edition. But no, there are better contenders.

I stand with Callum, to be honest with you.

I think that I think that fucking Pringles slap. I've done it to belittle you, but you've had normal pringles, right, yeah, okay.

Good, that's taken into consideration.

Yeah.

So this means that Mitch, you and I both have one chip left in the final two. One of our chips will be crowned the number one most beloved chip in the nation.

The next Chip Superstar.

Correct, Yeah, Australia's next Chip Superstar and the winner of the title.

On the podcast, Callum, you're.

Going number two first, and the number one, okay.

Number two.

Number two.

Is burger rings number one, sweet chilli and sour cream.

Callum, adore, you give me those sweet chills.

I'm not going to throw that to go everywhere.

Oh my god.

Look it was It was tough, but it came down to the experience of eating the chip, because I like how a chip makes me feel. Burger rings must be consumed after a party, get out, after appool. You know, they weren't soggy, so I had to go with the sweet chills. Our cream soggy.

So first, my fucking pringles weren't punching en up and our my burger rings aren't soggy enough.

God, sorry about it, but I mean I think a soggy ring isn't that bad of a thing.

I've heard that you're quite partial to a soggy ring.

Yes, I really am.

Try well, I'm so sorry that my rings aren't soggy enough for your liking.

Mitchell, try the winning chip and you actually had.

Yeah. I like the balance between the sweet chili sour cream. I've had other brands. I get what Mitch is saying.

It also depends on what kind of crowd you're trying to impress. If it's just my friends, my close circle, I'll whip out the burger rings. But if I'm like, oh, the Queen's coming over, sorry, Queen Consort, I better whip out the kettle. They're a bit fucking slightly higher to you. Much like Daryl le versus Cadbrec.

I'm so proud of my little kettles. Jenny, you've got to try get in it.

She's still in it.

She's chowing down on that fucking popcorn.

Okay, now, I'm with you. Those kettles, Slap. They're not too spicy. They're the perfect aunt.

Yeah, a good balance, but I will say good ranking burger rings are really good.

I thought it was a strong contender. Hmm this popcorns.

I'm having a mart orgasm for these chips.

Listen, Oh god this.

Oh now they're so yeah.

Yeah, I'm still a sure Louise I get the fuck out. Bye. So yeah, I'll take my chips with me. Yeah, take you.

I'll take a cookie. I need to cleanse me palate.

Bye yeah bye yeah.

Is it just me? You can follow the show online, just search a couple of mitches. If you don't, you're a tickhead. I've got a moral conundrum. I need your two cents on here. Okay, So, if you've been keeping a close eye on my Instagram, you would know that I'm currently in my walking era.

I've got you muted, unfortunately, but I can imagine that's fun.

Well, I'm making it known that I'm in my walking era because I really was not getting enough steps in my day. There was one fucking day that I had a low of forty nine.

Steps, Mitchell.

That's shocking. I know. I know exactly what happened on that day. I had a big night, I was hungover, I woke up, walked to the office. Edited this podcast on a Sunday uploaded it went back to bed. Wow that was my fort nine step day, and I was like, right, okay, I need to fucking up the ante here. I got a notification the other day say oh, your average daily steps have risen this month. Fuck goes the hell? Hell done?

How done? That's big.

But the thing is, I've got this weird, fucking toxic trait where I hate aimlessly walking. I don't like to just go for a walk for no fucking reason.

That's the point of it. But the reason is you're going to better your health.

Yeah, but that's not enough of me. I like to kill two birds with one stone. I'm in a bitch and honey. So, like you know, people usually get pissed off when you get a little slip from the post office you have to go pick it up. I'm like, perfect it. Excuse to walk? That's two k's both ways.

Oh so you need something to do?

Yes, I need to be walking for a reason. Otherwise it feels like a waste of time, which I know is a stupid way of thinking about it.

What about what about if you aim to finish a podcast?

Well, sometimes podcasts are getting shorter and shorter of these days.

Yea, they really are.

And also what happens is I'll hit play on the podcast in the house and then I'll start procrastinating, and then the podcast is nearly finished and I'm like, I haven't even started the walking.

I do the same thing. I take phone calls when I walk. I prefer to chat to people.

Yeah, yeah, I do. I call my family, call you, meet you when I'm walking.

Have I ever gotten a walking call for you? There you have.

If I'm out of breath and sound like I'm about to die, then yeah.

But one of my friends came up with a suggestion because I don't like to walk for no reason. They said, why did you become a dog walker? And I was like, fucking bingo. I love that because not only do I need a reason to walk, but I also need accountability and you're getting paid. True, well, I wouldn't even fucking charge. I don't mind. I just want to be able to have a reason to leave. And also someone's expecting me there at a certain time on a certain day, so

Kay, fair, fair.

But now that I'm a lady of leisure, essentially, I've got time to walk dogs.

So you're gonna put a little tear off on a post it note around town.

Well, I actually signed up to I don't know. It's sort of like a dog walking marketplace. It's an hour why does it what's it called? What is it called? Actually it's called not sponsored walk and wa. No, it's called poor Shake Porshaw.

That's funny. Yeah, it's a very funny name.

And so this was months ago. I set up my poor Shake profile. I got chat GBT to write a description thing. It's like, I'm a passionate, enthusiastic dog walker, blah blah blah blah, fucking mad about dog My is wagging at the thought of walking. Your beloved wouldn't have said tail wagging, Jesus, what's my tail? Oh?

Stop it?

But anyway, this was months ago that I signed up to be a dog walker, and I honestly fucking forgot. This week I got my first inquiry. Oh my god, my first customer. But this is where the moral dilemma comes in.

You fuck them? No, sorry, I don't know.

So they've inquired about me walking their gorgeous little dog named Ladybug.

Okay, do you have a photo of Lady Book.

I'm trying to find it, but I think poor Shake might be fucking glitching at the moment because it keep saying four h four being not found. I did have a photo of Ladybug. I'd love to show you one of those little fucking black more teasings. No, like a what do you call it? Fuck? A little black French bulldog. And so they are going away for three weeks, and there's a few days a week that their partner isn't home. So they want me to do Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Okay,

You can't get AI to help me with this one. AI can't walk the fucking dog. You need to be honest. You have to tell them that you can't. You're in ularu unless you want to take ding fucking beetle with you there and walk him around the red dot.

Otherwise, no, but.

I really want to do it. And I'm like, if this person's away for three weeks, how would they even know I don't if I don't turn up and walk it.

That's the moral dilemma. Okay, I was thinking just tell them no, but I get it you're thinking of a lying as I.

Really want to walk this fucking dog. I'm so excited.

It's so how many days would you not be able to walk it?

I think they're asking me to walk it three times a week for three weeks, so that's nine, So two out of nine.

I think that's fine. The dog can have a rest.

But I can't just leave the dog unattended. No, I would have to give the key to a friend or something.

Wait, are you also feeding this dog day and every day?

And night. We haven't nutted out the details yet. I have my meet and greet tomorrow.

So they must be.

If you're only working it twice a week or three times a week, someone else must be coming to feed it every other day because you got to feed a dog that morning.

Another partner, So it's a couple. One of them's going away for three weeks. The other one is kind of in and out of the house. Sometimes they're sometimes not. And so the days that poor little lady bugs home alone, that's when they've enlisted Mitchell the darlingdog walker from Paulshake dot com Dot a yu ye to come in and pick up the slack. But I don't want them to hire someone else. If I tell them I can't do these days, they might hire someone else.

Mitchell, there's plenty of dot and I'll have all.

Nine shifts ripped out of my hand.

Shifts sound like a fifteen year old about to work at McDonald's. No, say no, you don't want to be to be involved in the death of a dog.

Why would it die?

You just don't know. I catastrophize everything. So what if poor little gumdrop got hit.

By a vase or something?

When you weren't home, but you were meant to find it the next day, but you didn't because you're in the Red Center.

But I wouldn't leave the dog there without anyone checking in.

But would you get somebody else?

You know? Is that an option? I don't know either. I'm honest, and I tell them there's two days I can't do here, and I risk them pulling out all together and going with someone else. Or I say sure, I'll be there, Mitchell, I'll be there. But then I just give their house keys to another friend they can go look after ladybug?

Are you angling that you want me to go and fill in for your two days and look after that?

And I was hoping it off.

I think that's a great idea.

What are the dates? Monday and Tuesday, the fifth and sixth of June, anytime between eleven am and four pm? Just half an hour?

Amazing?

Oh, I actually can't.

I can't Monday.

I good Tuesday, but I can't Monday. I might be too confusing for poor little lady. Multiple new faces in the house.

She would love me. I do smell of beef brisket, so she really enjoy my appearance.

But then that would confuse her. If I'm coming in, then you're coming into the third gay man's coming in too much.

I'm really confused now because the poor shake app it seems to be working, but my message history is gone.

Oh my god, they've blocked you.

I'm not kidding, they've blocked you. Like I checked this half an hour ago because I wanted the photo up on my phone to show you what lady Bug looks like. And now I don't have any message.

Has you been ghosted by Ladybug?

Ghosted? No, I'll be very up.

This is devis.

I'm really sorry broke it up. We not necessarily not necessarily no, but are likely.

So look, look when I click view message in my email, they let me know when I've got a new message. They said, are you able to do a meet and greet this week? And I said sure Friday. When I click that four o four page cannot be found. Is it glitching or have I been ditched?

Mitchell, you've been I think you've been ditched. Is there a phone app you can check?

I'm trying that to Oh, then you've been ditched. I'm shattered.

Hold on, Maybe Ladybug has passed and they've pulled blisting that's possible.

But wait, look on the phone app, the messages doesn't work neither it's anything else. So maybe it is just a fuck up with the website. I could still be in the running to be Ladybug's part time babysitter.

I can't imagine poor Shake's getting enough FOT traffic to have an on demand tech team.

So for traffic, Yes, you're right, Portra. I love watching the cogs in your brain turn. Just then like what Yeah, I didn't get.

It and I did get it, all right.

Well I'm not helping you, but I don't think you'll need help because I think you've been fired. Yeah apologies there, yeah, sorry about that moral conundr and fixed.

Yeah, at least you have an answer.

Yeah, you've got your answer. But that was my first inquiry in months.

That says something about your profile. We need to give it some work. If that's your first bite in months, what are you doing wrong?

You were just the one accusing Porschhake of not having that much foot traffic. So poor traffic, poor traffic? Thank you? Oh no, well, how else am I supposed to advertise that I want to warp people's dogs?

Print out a piece of paper, you cut little flat things at the bottom and then you put it on a flag pole.

I don't want to give out my fucking mobile on number.

All right, if you were in the Sydney metropolitan area and you need your dog walked, and that's not a euphemism, Wolf Wolf, Mitch will do it for you, but not in the dates that he is in the Red Center.

Because he's busy.

Yeah, there you go, transparent open I reckon, you'll get bookings, Mitchell. All you need to do is send us a text to what number.

Over one two seven, two nine two.

That's all right.

Also, if you've got any other animals, Mitchell, walk them. You can walk a rabbit these days, you know in the world.

I've had experience with guinea pick handling. I can walk at guinea pig.

Yeah, he host this show with me every week, so you can handle a rodent.

Yeah, you got the pig bit right.

All right, Well, good luck, Mitchell. Keep us up up to date with your new your newfound venture.

I'm really stressed about this.

Be wrong.

I hope that this app just starts working again.

Maybe Lady Bean all or whatever, run away, lady bug, Lady fuck.

They're actually very hard to find lady bugs.

That's true, they're rare.

And maybe it's good luck that she landed on you.

Yeah, I mean maybe it migrated for the winter.

Yeah, that's a really good call.

That's a really good well said. You're right, it's really good anyway. So basically, long story short, is it morally wrong to take the gig? But they're not turn up for two other days? Yes, Mitchell, being selfish, I just want some ladybug time.

You'll get another booking with Ladybug. I reckon be transparent with them. Say, guys, I would love to work with Roach. However I cannot.

Be there, but next time I definitely will.

I'd love to work with you and your dog. I see us having a great future together. However I cannot make these dates. Don't play with people's pets. With a gay couple, you said partner.

They just said partner gay in your suburb.

I reckon that that dog to them is their baby.

It's true you don't want to mess with them, and you also don't want to freak them out if they find out.

You know, Mitchell, they could follow you.

What if they follow you and they go let's see where ladybugs parent and guardian interim is and Mitch is frolicking on the back of a bus with a feather bower on his gay boyfriend wrapped around his waist. And then there's Ladybug, completely starved at home in the Inn West flat alone.

That would never happen.

I can see it happening.

Why would I do that? Are you not posting about all the roof of those two days? Well, yeah, of course I will. But I'm not going to leave Lady Bug unattended.

Yeah, but that little dog is very hungry all the time.

Will They only want me to pop in for half an hour, three days a week. That's all they want, So I've better get someone else to do it.

I'm not doing it for you.

I don't have a time, Jenna, I can't. You said you could do tuesday. I can do Tuesday. I can.

Yeah, I want my five dollar commission.

Yeah that's fine.

So you don't want to spook lady.

Not all dogs are as easily spooked as you, Jenna.

Yeah, I think the dog will be fine, Jenna. It will smell me coming. I get along well with dogs.

Yeah, look at our partnership. I've been thriving for gears.

All right, Mitchell, don't do it. That's my final verdict.

Yeah, I was afraid you were going to say that. All right, let's go.

I'm fucked off, all right, get out of here.

Everyone needs a dog walked let me know.

Okay, idiot callum. Thank you so much for being here.

Yeah, thank you, thank you so much for having me.

It's been a delight. You enjoyed it. It's fun.

You're the first ever listener of the show to be and seeing it.

Happen like, that's not true.

Who was it?

Remember Georgie? He brought in the cookies. Get baked by Georgie.

She was really charming and warm and I felt really good having her.

Yeah.

Well, let's see where we stand.

We're all sitting you fucking awarded your chips number one. Don't get satiny, I know.

Thank you can.

Don't start with me.

I've still got a yoga that's been baking under these led lights or them.

Yeah, it's probably curdled. Fine, we better get out of here.

Okay. Yeah, let's go see you next week. Thank you for listening, appreciated it.

Happy pig week. I hope you enjoyed your own little pig out at home. Listen my God.

Happy pig Week everyone once again.

This is the third an You will see you back next year for the fourth annual Pig Week. Not crazy, I love it too, four years all right?

See when a week guys leave us a five star review.

We Love Your Love Your Bye? Is it just me?

Podcast by a couple.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast? Oh callum? Do you know the intro to add brief? Welcome to add brief? This is our secret segment on the end. Just a couple of deckheads with add having a debrief. Couldn't have said it better myself. Really welcome.

Come in here ma as well?

Come in Yeah, no, I can hear it.

Stand bo.

It's a bit of a madhouse.

I just walked straight past them and don't make eye contact. Do you eine want to Oh it's now a cold beef pie.

No, I try one of these now, that's what I want to try.

They're really good.

That's what I really want to dry.

Stand up and I have a little lay of the land and see where.

So hang on, what are you handing me out of the Arnca obsessions?

Yes, obsession milk chocolate, decadent biscuit with a creamy chocolate center chunks and a milk chocolate coat the boxes.

It's it's odd. It looks generic.

It doesn't. Yeah, it's not a very eye catching bump okay.

J CROs when you know that awful?

Yeah, they don't have texture?

Those are dry?

Are you serious?

I mean they taste good, but they've just a bit impractical. They're kind of crumbling my hands.

What's that fear with like all the holes and ship?

Oh yeah, like people are afraid of crumpets.

Yeah, like that is a bit horrified to tripophobia or something like that. It's just all the rice bubbles, carra milk slices, hedgehog with almond pieces, toasted coconut and rice criss hedgehog me like a hedgehog slice.

You know, it's got the malt biscuits and the chocolate not across that.

Wow.

Oh it like my back in high school.

It says here one serve is equal to four squares, So we're lying this week.

I guess.

Oh god, that's solid.

Give us one bit. I don't want a whole road hedgehog ship, all right, like spider eggs. No, No, oh god, it's okay. It's just a bit much. That hedgehog shit.

I and I think the best treat is the number one winning chip.

They're so good.

Yeah, the sweet chili sour cream.

I disagree, Well clearly Calum doesn't.

No, it was great. I like the ratio, the synergic I believe we call it. Give me a mashi. You haven't had a mashy?

I help yourself, I guess. Come on, Oh you got to dip in the ground.

Oh, sorry about it? Right here we go.

Oh he's trying to mashy.

Oh it's very cold.

It has been over an hour, so that might be whye, that'd be good fresh. Yeah, I got to say. Because I've been on this bloody health kick the last few weeks, I think I've become one of those people that I hate where I've had like a little bit of chocolate and I'm like, oh, I've got a can ache, I've got a sugar like, oh god, I've become that person. I used to be devoured with like a square kilometer of caramel slice. But these you've changed.

You do look good. Have you hit the ten kilo mark yet?

I'm not aiming for ten killers. I prefer not to focus on numbers. Okay, fair, My only goal was to fit back into my old clothes. I'm going to need them back from Sean. He inherited a lot of my wardrobe. Did he really?

That's so funny? Then, yeah, you can have him back.

Mm hmm.

Now tell me what Sean's review was of me the other week because I went gay clubbing with you.

Yeah, God, you're very needy today, don't. I don't remember the review he brought it up. He didn't give a review now.

But you said he was. He was shocked to my manners.

No, he just when you got out of the uber and said, oh, drive safe, he was like, oh, I like that. I'm going to add that to my repertoire. Because you know how Sean can't stop at one nicety your fucking word moments them all that. He's like, cheers all the best, thanks so much, see I have all one cheers. Yeah. And so he's added drive safe. He started saying it to me when I'm not driving, like, just I'll drive safe. I'll for fux sake, when you're riding, Yeah,

Well he's such a sweetheart, Shawn, so nice. Yes, she is lovely I have met him, have you? Yeah?

Mardi Gras really yeah, very briefly. Here's a sweetheart Sydney Manigra. Yeah, closing concert. Oh yeah, the one that Competresol.

Yes of course died through. Yeah yeah, poor thing.

So what are you doing in Sydney?

Oh?

Just visiting friends, all of which I've made through this podcast.

Really yeah, that's quite sweet and shout them out well Jenny.

Of course. Now Oscar and I get along as well.

Didn't Some people like surprise you they flew to Brisbane.

Jenny was one of those people in candas from Melbourne. They flew up to Brisbane and surprised me for my birthday and I met the podcast. We all met through the podcast.

I was kind of in on that didn't organize any of it, but I knew that was happening and I was getting daily updates.

Yeah, I had not a clue, and they'd been planning it for like five months prior so they did.

Really was very hard.

Because I messaged you to say happy birthday, but I knew and I didn't know if.

It had happened yet.

Oh yeah, that was like, oh, how has your day been? Is your heart beating at what? Level, and then it happened.

It was beautiful King of the airwaves, I think you said, but you clarified that it was community and not commercial.

Yes, that checks out.

Just to humble me a little bit, Yeah, of course, thank you so much. I did get told that my solo radio show was canceled on my birthday as well, so that.

Was Oh I thought you were still on air.

Yeah, I am on Sunday nights. We're the only queer radio show in the Bayside area, and so you.

Would have a lot of two radio shows. That's ludicrous and stupid.

I mean, we were in the same time slot, so I'm convinced it was your doing.

Where we Yeah, what time was.

That one seven till nine on a Thursday night.

Yeah, we were competing directly.

That's sound not my cup of tea. Got started as a community radio show, and then we'd chop it up as a podcast. Crazy and we were on a queer station Thursday nights. Do you think this podcast could ever be a radio show? We'd have to fucking tone down the swearing.

We would, yeah, and we'd have to throw to songs.

Yeah, I should be not doing that. Bet you can do that?

Would you do it live.

This is a weird hypothetical. I mean we are in the kids studio. Can we just go on air right now? There's nothing stopping it for all intents and purposes.

Yes we could.

It might not go down.

Well, no, I'll do it. Cough.

I'll do it in time to what song or whatever's playing. I'll just cough in time.

And actually it's three p m. So the pickup would be on.

Okay, this is live on Kiss right now, winking at everyone.

In my wink era, Yes, I mean my cool girl wink era. There is nothing more awkward than me trying to wink. I'm like, I don't I can't time it right with my mouth. Have to listening to that? Yeah, we could be a radio shoes. Okay, let's not cough over towards me a moment internal.

Did last pick week you made a noise that sounded like a peak. Oh yeah, horrific squeal?

Remember pretty much like that?

Oh yeah, I wonder if that's still in the system.

I doubt it.

It'd be called like cheery noise or something cheery. Pik. It's when you were laughing every file. Oh here we go? Is this it? Yeah? That was your pig screech last year.

God was to say, that's not you in that voice, mampow as.

Well now because I'm talking underneath that banshee.

You're an editor of some description.

That one comes from her soul. And by the way, she was not putting that on, like she was genuinely going, stop stop making me laugh. I can't stop. Like she was so apologetic for it. It fell and I was like, that is a gift. Don't ever apologize And.

I really have to really say that that wasn't forced, like that was you know what, I'll just go that was That's where she cough.

That's what she got to with a simple cough. Yeah she's not well.

New pandemic coming soon.

Oh fuck a dark well, Mitchell, I'm glad that you're in the dog walking ere I think I'm not yet.

No, you're going to get another bite. I know you will.

What always happens like Facebook market plage put something up from months and then finally everyone wants it on the same day.

Does that actually happen?

I get messages now for things that I was selling years ago.

Oh. I really hope the apps down otherwise I'm going to be heartbroken.

Would you just get a dog.

No, Isabella would not agree.

With the equivalent of being a babysitter versus being an actual parent. I don't want to fucking dog. Yeah, then I have to find a dog sitter. When I can't be fucked I'd rather be the dog sitter.

Well, here's the thing. I have been thinking about getting a dog.

M but you've been thinking about this for a long time.

I have, But I think push has come to shove recently, and I would like to get a dog.

Well, go on, can I walk it?

That's where I'm getting to.

Thank God, we like to walk my dog?

Yeah, my non existent yet, don't hurry up.

I feel like I've been asked to be the godparent before the child's born.

Oh y, you'd be a great godfather. Speaking of all your family.

At your fucking comedy show, they all had matching shirts with Mitchell's face on it. An ugly photo of Mitchell. Jane, your mum was so beyond excited to be there.

She got a bit carried away. She's like tanked after half a glance of wine. I reckon she had around five.

She was gipsy.

Yeah, Well, can you.

Do truly nothing?

To be honest, nothing.

You saw Mitchell's Brisbane shows.

Right car.

Yeah, I've seen both of his Brisbane shows. Yeah, he's improving.

So when thanks for your feedback.

No, no worries. I'm keen for water off a duck's click to come to Brisbane.

It will come to Brisbane eventually. Yeah. I think last year I went in like September, so I've got a bit of time. Yeah, you got to get those ducks through customs.

And I really want to duck.

Oh yeah, I made a mental note to bring one for you today. Damn it. I was devastating.

I had my hand up. Could you see me? And when you were avoiding me because I was standing up, I couldn't see you know.

I was screaming, dark, I want a duckyt.

She was yeah, but you went. Everyone was screaming Enna, crowd whisper. Jenne's yell is nothing.

Jenny and I were right at the back in the corner, weren't we were touched away, No wonder.

I couldn't fucking see that.

That's where we were allocated.

We were told to sit there. I wanted to go front row and they said to you or Fatty and Pip squeak.

That's what I might have had something to do with that. I told one of the people that worked there, I said, my family, if they try and sit in the front road, get rid of them. They must have just see you and du it with that, because I said, I don't want them in the front row because last year they kept talking during the show with if it was a conversation, Mam would be like, oh I remember that, shut up,

You stayed on time as well. You didn't go over.

Did you a tiny bit over here?

That's right, because you started late?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I went. Well, I do have to admit I did steal a poster from the wall. That's fine. I mean I did that at his Brisbane show and got him to sign it. You pulled it off. Yeah, there's no point of him being on the wall if the show's finished, right, you make a very good call. Then I still want to.

Well, it sits on my wall right above your head shot.

Oh why do you have one of Cherry's headshots?

Because I won ten.

Cent Tuesday that was years ago.

My radio literally and it's not signed, it's just scanned and printed for fox sake, digitally signed.

It's when you were little.

Yeah, your start our photo.

It was my startup photo. Yeah, got new ones. I'll express them to you.

Thank you, only one from Jenet to Yeah you do, we'll take them today.

Yeah we can't take some. Go print off a photo of yourself and sign it for Calum. Have your face in the scanner.

You go sit on the scanner and get it to Calum. Okay, I am having a sugar crash. I feel like I'm exhausted, and.

I barely had any sugar. I had one square of that fucking kidnet whatever it was.

That's the name of that dog.

You got a walk? I had one of Jenna's whatever it was. What is it called hedgehold? No, that's the other one, the biscuit. Oh, the obsession, the obsession was awful.

I had a whole one of those.

And then I've had maybe three mashes. That's nothing. And yet I'm like, oh, that's really knocked me around.

I'm exhausted.

We'll have left over, it's perfect.

We were What are we going to do with them? Let's donate to a local homer shelter.

Sure on the record, that's what we're doing.

Idiot Calum. Yes, we'll get you to go to the local, no worries. Yeah you're saying in redfern right, yes, yes, great, we'll get you there.

Well, we hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent today. That's all.

For you.

Job.

I was waiting for you to go again, you know, I pushed through that line with a bit of coconut jam and nearly had a coughing bit, but did and you can't even fucking manage to say it out loud.

Okay, sorry, go again.

That's it. We hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent today. That's all, just three percent, so we do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pigweek everyone, once you enjoy, listen to this show with your favorite snack and wash it down with your favorite disgusting drink.

And don't forget a cheap meal is not a cheap day, because you know how sometimes if it's a cheap day, you'll eat one bad thing and they'll be like the rest of the days are right off, very true. You have one little treat that's not a cheap day. It's a cheap meal, just a little treat. You know what.

Put that on our next merch drup. Yeah, it's beautiful, let's put.

The Actually, yeah, I have gotten a call. People want merch. We'll have to start workshopping.

Oh okay, we've already workshopped. Rash it.

No, actually, while we've got you, is there any feedback from the idiots that you'd like to bring to us because you are ahead of them?

Yeah, I'm aware that there are group chats with us and group chats without us. So what are they really saying? What are they chats without us?

There's one on Snapchat, but it's like four of us that are active and everyone else is just you know, perving. Okay, Okay, although we do yell at everyone who leaves, it'll say you know, so and so left and we go fuck off.

Sorry.

Good people really enjoyed the the washing hacks for real life advice.

I think people want more of that.

Okay, Fuck, that's all I got. I know how to do laundry and that's it.

I've got some tips on some other loads I can give.

No.

No, that does involve two fairy balls as well.

Christ I shouldn't have come in, Hey, kids shoving off.

Funny to say come in because my hacks are we don't say sorry?

What other feedback?

And it's okay, what do they hate? Yeah, say the stuff about general Please don't.

I actually have the word Jenna blocked in my complaints foulder because there's just so many you wouldn't get to anything else. It's got our own faulder y.

Yes, honestly, I think people miss the pranks.

Oh no, I don't, Mitch, and I don't miss the pranks. We had a really heartfelt discussion because pranks, you know, it's a new age now, people have light pranks, Pranks get canceled, pranks get people in trouble.

We did say we're not gonna go on record and announce that we're banning pranks in case we want to do one one day, but we were just like, funk, We're over it. Yeah, phase it out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

TikTok school, that's a classic.

Yeah, we could do a new TikTok school.

There's a lot out.

There, and I think that I think that covers most bases, most coins. Yeah, well not really complaints.

Do you think there's a favorit, Mitch that they lean towards.

Yes, the one with the initials MC.

I think they loved them, Well said, I knew it.

Yeah, with the good.

I'll sleep well at night.

Yeah yeah, yeah, Well said, no favorite genis though it's quite odd.

I struggle to believe that there's not one catty thing that someone said. Don't give us a name, just tell us one complaint. I'm trying to think now, because anyone ever said, oh, I can't stand Kumbsa's laugh or I can't stand cherries. Fucking I don't know sound effects.

No, actually, yeah, there is a couple of people that don't like the sound effects.

Yes, them, them.

I love the sound effects me too. Don't stop looking over there.

I think you've nailed the balance. I think so too, Like they used to be so unnecessary and they derail the conversation, but now they actually come in and they were.

Yes, it's a good synergy. I was just about to say it. It's a good balance, like the sweet chilly sour cream chips.

Correct Well said.

Which is ruined it so specifically me, What do they hate about me?

I think people hate, which is a strong word, but I'm repeating it. When you shut Mitch down when he's in a silly.

Mood, I don't think I do that as much anymore, do I?

Well, you said you're in a silly goosey era. Yeah, so I think you've improved on that without even having to hear that feedback.

I used to be a lot more of a bitch, didn't I.

You did, especially to me?

Yeah?

But no, okay, Now for me what they hed about me? Ummm, I mean I can ask now, I know.

There were sound effects for you and me shutting down the silly miss. They actually conflict with each other, they do. They say that they hate when you're silly, and they hate when I don't let you be silly. Well, how do we fucking take that on board?

Make up your minds? Fuckers?

It's tough.

It's tough.

I mean, don't fucking give Calum the feedback. Just pop it in the apple of you can't wait to see that.

Oh we don't want the feedback there? Keep them five stars please Jesus. Spotify comments though.

Go off?

Yeah go, that's fine, all right, we should go.

Shall we leave?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's up to you. Do you want to leave?

Yeah?

Idiot, Calum, thank you for grace.

You're supposed to having me. Loved it, mitchells if you don't ask, you don't get here, and you got this could be you peaking out having a great time.

No, we won't say yes again.

Don't even try it.

Yeah, this is a make a wish say yes exact special conditions.

If you're if you're preparing for death, we'll have you in here.

But otherwise, our.

Third and your make a wishion for Calum. It was the last. All right, shall we go? Yeah, all right, let's get out of here. Bye Bob, Here you go.

I see you next week.

Yea?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of Miches.

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