#139: MEGHAAAN!

Just stood by a couple of minches. Hello, yeah, you bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults.

Oh please, you're in bed with a cup of bloody hall licks by a tallicks and push you to slip. It's like a milk drink.

Sounds like the slur I've heard that whole licks.

Michuri and Mitchell coos.

How are you?

Hello?

You hi?

Hi?

Oh fantastic, I gotta bringing me step today for no good read really.

Phenomenal in that corduroy yellow number V neck You got your necklace on your princess die.

I don't know if she would have been caught dead in this outfit, but I'll take the compliment.

I wouldn't have said caught dead that I'll read the tunnel that she should have read the sign I in that open it there's a little partner that reminds me of Pokemon, Like right at the start, that idiot.

That yells go oh it is a bit poke him on, ask, isn't it? It's very ash with a poke ball?

Yeah. Can I quickly play the opening listen, You'll know what I'm talking about.

Just stood a couple of.

Yeh, the digimon as well. Remember Digimon, I have actually hot take.

Digimon was better than Pokemon. I thought so too. I thought it slapped, they were cuter.

It was kind of like the pepsi alternative to a Pokemon, and some people prefer Pepsi.

I remember the Digimon movie. I cried hard in the Digitmon movie.

I don't remember crying during emotion child.

How are you do? Look good? Where have you been? What's going on with you? Oh?

I actually just came from therapy, if you must know, But usually I leave therapy in a really flat mood. I don't know what it was about today with a good sash.

Well, you've got everything's going right in your life. You've got your tickets on sales shows. Sorry, Sean is beautiful. You make a good point.

So I really should be plugging the comedy shows. I forget to mention it on my own podcast.

I do it for you, so you'm a good friend. I know I can plug for you.

Melbourne Comedy Festival and now Sydney Comedy Festival. Tickets on sale for both if you head to the Lincoln my Instagram by but also I'll be making my way to other cities later in the year.

Two Yeah. I read the comments on one of your posts. I think it was on Facebook, and there were a lot of when you're come at Adelaide, Adelaide.

Truly just being to Adelaide. I was there in November.

Yeah, grow up Adelaide. Well they don't get much. They didn't get ed Sheeran, you.

Know, didn't they know? Yeah, but I feel like Sydney doesn't even get good concerts anymore.

Yeah, we know, we got it.

We got however, like you see the Beyonce world too. Yes, No, Australia Gaga will never be caught dead at Kurtos Bank Arena.

Never. Oh good fucking point. Actually, Hayden just had his birthday. He turned twenty seven. My boyfriend, Hayden and for He's like, all I want is to go see Madonna. I'm like, that's easy. I can get your tickets to Madonna. I thought she'd be performing at you know, Paramatta Redland Theater or you know the Rudy Hill Coliseum. No, she's only fucking performing in the UK or Europe.

Is that what he wants for his birthday?

Yeah?

And I got it.

I bought him tickets.

Are you actually going to Europe to seem we're going to LA to see Madonna. Wow, I bought tickets? Yes, God, while since you've been in and out of LA too.

Truly, I'm excited. It's not until next year.

But that's a very extravagant present.

I mean, you know how much are going to do that for you?

Yeah?

We have a limit. We have like a what we spend on each other? Ten grand? Yeah, that's the limit. It's not the limit.

It can't be cheap flying to LA for a concert.

Now, well the tickets are you know, four hundred bucks?

It's all right American? Yeah, yeah, there you go, even more expensive Australia.

I know in this economy, that's my favorite thing to say.

In this economy, not in this current climate climate.

We've got fucking climate change. We've got the economics. You know what are you across all that drag band stuff in the US? Yes? Yes, how sad.

It doesn't feel real? No, I'm like, what the fuck? What a step backwards? What is wrong with America?

I know it actually is very scary.

I know I felt really a little bit uneasy the whole time I was in the US, Which isn't it weird? As kids, we always thought life must be so much better in America. Can wait to go to America.

And now I have no desire gun violence. Crist Now they're banning drag or drag performers to kids, so ridiculous. Focus on the guns, guys, I've got to that's probably the guns that's killing the kids, not the man in a wig.

Have you seen Katie Perry's big emotional breakdown?

Oh that you hated that? Come on? That was so forced.

I didn't think it was forced.

Really, Yeah, bring it up.

Okay, So she was on American Idol and one of the contestants came in and said that he was dedicating his performance to some of his classmates that he lost in her school shooting. That was beautiful and she had a very emotional reaction to it, and people are kind of giving her shit for the reaction. But I'm like, that was just raw and real and it's kind of bang on what she said.

Yeah, but it just felt like it felt rehearsed to me.

You can't rehearse something like that. She was actually blubbering. She's no actress, trust me.

Katie Perry breaks down in outrage after school shooting story.

Why are you doing idle In May twenty eighteen, a gunman walked into my school. Uh, I was in art Room one. He shot up art Room two before he made his way to art Room one. Lost a lot of friends. Eight students were killed, two teachers were killed.

Wow O, Katie's putting a head in the hands.

Weren't you doing Katie?

Our country has failed us. Facts, This is not okay.

You should be singing here because you love music.

That's true.

You didn't have to lose eight friends. I hope that you remind people.

No, we have to change.

Because you know what.

I'm skinned too.

Having watched it an express in your mind, what do you think now?

Yeah? I take that call my stay you gay? That wasn't rehearse, that was real. No, I would to be honest. I'd seen the TikTok edit and American Idol had really edited it down. Okay, he was like, this is to my classmates.

Then she screams, yeah, no, it wasn't like that.

I hadn't seen that, and I was never negating his story. That's horrific, the poor thing.

Yeah, what a cheery note to start the episode on. Sorry about that?

Did you get three nose? I don't know.

I didn't watch till the imagine that I've only seen.

The clips as well.

Ohful anyway to know from us, I'm assuming and got through you'd.

Hope, So can you fast forward to that? Yes, okay, he goes.

To I figured as much that would be the most horrible thing that they could do, milk the SOB story and they'd be.

Like, nah, you can stay here. Yeah. Well yeah, what a lovely note to start the show on. Because so right, You're so right. America's fucked and how low to our American listeners. Of course, Yes, we love you. Sucks to be you. You're always here. We were always here for you. They moved down under bub escapism. Yeah, you just don't go to Adelaide. You won't be able to see Mitchell live. I'll come there later in the year, even as your

Why don't I kick things off?

You want to go first, let's go, let's do it.

Is it just me.

Just screaming children ruin everything?

Ah, it doesn't bother me, please, it doesn't. Really, I don't act like your some saint.

If you're in a pleasant scenario, be it. I don't know, name a pleasant scenario in your mind.

At the park, sunny day, there, you go, at.

A cafe, whatever it may be, it is in a total state of bliss. The quickest thing to ruin it is a screaming child, especially if they have a really really high pitch voice.

They often do, They often do, they often do. Wait till what you're about to hear. Yeah, because last.

Weekend I went to the taping of Australian Idol. I was in the audience for it, and right behind me was this fucking punish of a girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs the whole time, trying to get Megan Trainer's attention.

Because Meghan's one of the judges. Yeah, she's down there on the floor.

It was quite a distance between us and the judging panel, but this kid was fucking determined and they were screaming in my fucking.

Ear the whole time. Did you record it. I did.

I ran a voice memo because I wanted you to experience just how painful it was and then you might change your June.

Okay, so this is the idle baby.

Herself in Regional Victoria.

Shut up, kid, thank you now, I'm with you. You know what? That went on for four hours? Ever, turn no, of course not.

I was getting so angry at this kid that I was going to start shouting to get Megan's attention, just like, could you fucking look?

So she shuts up. I made you look.

Yeah, exactly, do with your song, says I have a look over here, please. But also I was tempted if Meghan did turn around out of spite just to stand up and block the view.

Meghan would have heard that and just not wanted to turn around because she sounds like a fucking psychopath.

Oh, it was just so grating, Like I don't know if that voice memo does it justice, but it was right in my ear, top of her lungs, high pitched the whole time. I've isolated it for you. Just imagine that.

On repeat for four hours. She just slapped her right across the head.

I know, but apparently it's frowned upon to slap children. You don't know I have heard that?

Yeah? Can I say? And I hate to make this about me, but Meghan Train is my new best friend. She is. We're chatting, okay.

The only thing more annoying than screaming children is when someone changes a subject to make it about them and to try and flex.

More annoying than this.

Go and tell me your story.

Now. I just interviewed her for Australian idol and then we hit it off, and then she she wants to hang out. She's good for you. Yeah, we're just pals all right, But I don't know if it's that just well. Can you pass on that message to her? Please? Oh? Should I? Yeah? Just yeah.

She'll probably cringe and be like, oh god, I do remember that voice. And I chose to ignore it because she's.

A mum, she's got a new baby.

Oh maybe she's just conditioned to drown that shit out. Oh go god, not that you know her kids would scream her first name, Megan.

Stop it. It's so awful. Did you enjoy the show?

I did it acually because one of my friends is a producer there. He suggested we come along and I was like, oh, I have to, because when I was six or whatever watching Australian Idol, I'd see the people in the audience and be.

Like, God, I wish that was me.

But I lived too far away from the city, so I was like, I've got a bloody do it. I'm going to bloody go. There was one really, really really awkward moment where you know how you can't tell if someone's waving at you or not. Yes, So they were in a bit of a break, just kind of standing around on stage waiting for the cameras to be ready or whatever. Yes, and Ricky Lee and Scott Tweety the hope. Yeah, they start waving and it looks like from a distance they're waving at me.

But I'm like, surely not right.

But then I thought, I mean maybe that they both follow me on Instagram, so maybe they're waving at me. And I turn around to see if there's anyone behind me they're waving at and then when I turned back to the stage, they're going no, not you.

Hi, like pointing and going no you.

So I waved back and then Sean goes Mitchell, they're not waving at you.

And I was like, well, I don't know. I can't tell.

And you know that feeling when you just get so embarrassed and your brow starts to sweat to a point where it's a little bit itchy. Yes, Like that's how embarrassed I was. I was like, I hated everything about that interaction. To this day, I don't know if they're waving at May or not. I somehow doubt it.

They'd know because I do my radio show there. From the live show on Monday and Ricky Lee came backstage. It was very warm to me. And I only met her when I met her with you. I've never met her outside of the interview with you.

Yeah, and that's what I thought. I'm like, I know we've had it on the podcast, but I don't think she would remember me.

No, she would. She probably was waving to you. Now she thinks you're a cunt for not waving back.

It was a rock and a hard place I couldn't win. I was like, ehither they're going to think I'm rude. Everyone around me is going to think I'm a fuck with dream on as if they were waving it.

You mate, you know what you should have done. Should have gone tweety tweety, shut up. Brat.

Oh gosh, you know what I should have done? What I should have screened out Megan And then she turns around, just been like no, I meant Markle not you.

Yea cool? All right? Should do my agent?

Sure, go for it?

Is it just me?

Has the culture at McDonald's drive through changed?

Why do we bring up McDonald's almost every week on this show.

We spoke about it last week. But I think it's changed, and it's a big thing that we need to address as a nation. It is no longer a positive experience going through Maca's drive through.

I don't think it was ever. I used to strive to make it a positive experience for my customers when I was in the drive through.

That's why it up with you, because I know you you will agree with me that the quality is slipped. Maybe you won't. I don't know. But as a kid, or when I was younger, going through Maca's drive through was a euphoric experience. They're looking at the menu and ordering it and asking for the girls or the boys toy. You drive up to the window, you'd pay, you'd drive to the next window, and you'd wait for your food,

That's the problem with this having two drive through lanes, because often they don't have two people taking too orders. It's one person covering both. And then even though they've made you wait ages, once they get to you, they're in a rush always. There's something really erratic about that.

Is that it is that it go for the drink, yeah, please, don't think.

And then sometimes you get to the window, they don't even say hello. They just hold the flus thing in your face like tap and go up. I know, interested in a conversation.

I know.

Nowadays it used to pay with cash and to get the change and you to get the receipt. Nowadays they've strapt the FPOs machine to a fucking selfie stick and you've got to just pay, wave your card and then you drive through the next window.

Some of them aren't even on a selfie sick. They don't hold it out for you. It's literally positioned outside the window.

Oh, good call.

The window for you that it's like tap doug.

Yeah, they go check your order on that iPad. Then the big part is you go to the next screen and you're sitting there waiting or the next window and always together and go to the waiting bay, into the waiting bay, waiting bay. Please. I The waiting bay for me growing up was like oh Wonderland. Like maybe if I've ordered too much, I'll go to the waiting Yeah.

I was gonna say, what are you ordering? Because I don't remember the last time I was put in the waiting bay.

I am always in the waiting bait without doubt, always just a chicken nugget meal, some chips and nothing special, always in the waiting bay. And I just think the experience is lacking. I want to I want a nicer drive through experience, please, Australia.

Actually, what time of day are you going?

Typically, oh, good call, it's a often after the show at night, I'll get a little snack, so like ten thirty at night or on the way to work at around three pm.

I was gonna say, maybe you're getting like the teenagers after school, but it doesn't sound like it. Because I love the daytime maccas staff.

Why who what is the difference?

Well, they're usually like forty year old women and shit, and they're down for a yarn.

Oh good, Cord.

I love the people that work during the day. They've grown ass adults that work at maccas. They're beautiful, yes.

And then at nighttime you get the fourteen year old pimpoli fucks.

Yes, who are so stressed about their assignment and having to get the drive through time as quick as possible. They just don't seem at ease. They don't want a yarn.

They've got a speech on water restrictions at nine am the next morning. I don't care about my steamed butt on my cheeseburger.

The steam bun, that's where you're going on.

That's why you have to fucking park. That's why I'm the problem.

Yes, they don't have the steamed buns just sitting around waiting for people to order.

They have to do them. Especially. Oh that's it. I always get a steamed bun.

You have.

You're the problems.

It's already Victim Blaine, Oh my god, on the problem. You are the problem. And here I was at the mac Has drive through, like, where's my.

You're listening to Is it just me?

You got something on your mind?

Hit up at a couple of mitches on Instagram to get yourself on the show.

Okay, let's hear from one of our idiots, a very dedicated idiot at that they want to come on the show and they've got an edgem of their own.

You want to get on the show with an edgem of your own at couple of mitches on Instagram or shoot is a text zero four one two seven one two oh nine two correct?

How's that text? On gambo? You get a lot of texts.

We are, but someone must have signed us up to some scam redistry because we keep getting shit like odds post. Sorry we missed you early today. Click this link and give us your bank details and we'll rearrange a redelivery. We haven't ordered shit with this number. Someone signed us up to a scam outlet or something.

Imagine if we were buying the sex toys not using the work account, and that's what was coming through. No, I's where that wasn't me? That wasn't all right? Courtney in Newcastle in New South Wales. She's on Hi cart well to the show.

Hi, thanks for having me go.

Oh pleasure, cloudy day. Don't you sound chirpy?

Yeah i am.

I am just wrapping up the work week.

Yeah, the work week.

I know.

I'm taking a couple of days off.

Are you lucky? Dark?

Yeah, it's my birthday tomorrow?

Actually, oh birthday called?

How old are you doing?

Thirty six?

Thirty six? It's life better in your thirties. We were talking about this the other day. Sometimes it doesn't sound that promise you hesitated too, not really to get back to you.

Wouldn't she sound fun? Yeah? You sound very fun.

I am fun.

Thanks.

Well, what's the five You're just chilling at home?

Yeah?

I work from home, so wrapping up and then I'm off to Breathing tomorrow for a couple of days. I haven't been there since as the kids, so I'm really looking forward to it.

Well, how fun? All right, Well let's get your birthday? Is it just you, Bradley or cat? You in? Then hit this?

Okay, okay? Is it just.

Are hiccups the most infuriating thing a person can have when they're in the presence of others?

Oh? Yeah? Oh in general, even alone. I'm embarrassed.

Oh I thought, are you saying it's infuriating when other people around you have hiccups or when you personally have them.

When I have them, I get rid of them real quick.

It's not always that say. Yeah, you make it sound like you've got a button you can just press. I can't do that.

Look, I actually do.

I have perfected the hiccups. You get a hiccup, you find a bevery, you drink it upside down, and.

You got it side down.

Yeah, even when you lean over the glass and drink from the other side, it works.

It's the picture that lean over the glass and drink it from the arp. I've got my water bottle here, I can do it.

What do you do? So lean over sort of like in front of you and drink the water upside down.

That's not possible. That's not how gravity works.

But I look work. It definitely works.

It's kind of got his back and neck parallel to the floor.

Now that's I'm kind of suck it up.

Oh, don't get water all over the panel. Shit, you're trying to kill me.

I love that you didn't have hiccups, So we can't prove if it works or not.

I've gotta clean myself up. I don't mind.

But other people have hiccups caught, but I find it infuriating when I have it. When I was quitting vapes, the nicotine supplements give it to you like this mouth's bray that you put under it to the nicotine spray.

I'll do it now. I'll prove my point. They give you the hiccups. Induce the hiccups. I do want to show you.

I think when other people get them, it becomes a center of a conversation.

Don't you think you so that is embarrassing to be the person with hiccups.

Oh, here they go. Oh he started. Look, Oh he's got the hiccups. Courtney. You can now do the underwater up. Oh god, all right, Courtney. Guide him through? What does he do? These ones are violent? He doesn't want a cigarette, So you're right. There were many times when I'm like, it's easy, it's easier, just a vape the corner. How does you do it? Do the trick.

Looking forward and get your water bottle if you've got, that's what you've got, and just sort of like lean your head right over and let the water go into your mouth or your heads upside down.

He's standing up, so should he be sitting caught.

You needs to be standing.

You said to lean my head over the bottle. Do you mean I face my feet?

You're face your feet like as your head goes down towards your feet, the water water goes into your.

Mouth like your head, sort of like upside down, Courtney.

I don't think you know what up Cottney, you're I think you're in the wrong here.

I'm absolutely not.

I don't think she is because they're gone. Oh what I mean?

The word upside down is completely misleading, But I'm not hiccupping.

You're kidding.

I never kill, do I kid?

All right? Well, thank you Courtney for that insightful attempt at medicine. They have fun hack.

I still don't understand the drinking upside down thing.

You're all your way off.

Thanks guys.

Anyway, happy birthday.

Call.

I'll make sure prize keeper Jenni sends you an extra special prize for your birthday.

Thanks, Legend.

I have a great day.

Thank you.

Listening to the show called We Love You, She's fine. I like Courtney.

I've just googled drinking water while maintaining uncomfortable body positions such as bending over a sink or turning your head upside down. Okay, that makes sense. It distracts your brain from it, that's.

What it says here. Oh got it? Okay, Oh I get it. Now.

You bend over with your back parallel to the floor and then kind of let your neck relax so it is upside down like this.

Look.

Oh so I'm not really facing my feet.

I'm more facing my junk. Well, Courtney didn't do a good job of describing.

Well, they're gone true, so she did.

Yeah, good call. Yeah, and I don't feel like a v eighth win win. You cur it all right if you want to get on the show with us thirteen Oh god, wow, that's not.

Oh you just nearly a sorry, sorry I did thirteen six five. Imagine someone actually calling KISSFM and saying, Hi, I'd like to go on with the mitches, and they're.

Like, what, let's see, I'll just answer a random call. Here at Kiss we got the thirteen one oh six five patch through the desk. Hello, what can I do for you?

Hello?

Hi? What can I do for you? Oh?

No, I was just calling in Hope together easter show ticket.

Do you have an easy just you cut in? Do you have an is it just you.

Do I have a what.

Is it?

Just me?

I guess for me and my family.

I can't hear them.

It's sorry, tunnel, she's gone. Just confuse the fuck that poor woman. She's never gonna call again. Oh well, fuck it DM. This a couple of mites on Instagram. Oh you can text us into our hotline, Mitchell quickly, what is it again? On nine two? Hit us up. We'll get you on the show and you will yourself as little prize. Now speak of the devil.

You might be wondering where our third wheel price keeper Jenner is this week.

She was missing last week notably, and this week again. She hasn't featured once.

And if you're a regular listener of ours, you'd know that every time Jenna does make an excuse for not being able to come to something, it's always the most dramatic thing in the world.

Always and always nothing we know of like us.

It's always sorry, but my mum had emergency surgery on her shins, or like she's got severe food poisoning, yes, or like I've been hit by a bus and I've lost two legs, but I'll be fine by tomorrow.

Did you hear the front page story how the girl struck by lightning.

But this week, I reckon this tops it.

Really, I don't know the reason.

Oh well, this is the text I got just before we started recording. Sorry, can't make it this week. I'm just with the police. My place got broken into. I'm like, okay, the palatial mansion, the service merit and suite. Really you don't have twenty four to seven security.

Hold on, she's in a high rise. Yeah, I know.

I did think, why would the choose your apartment of all apartments.

Do for her? Cats? Okay, Christian Lubah, Connie Connie the cat.

That's a good call. But I think we're gonna try and trip her up and see if it's a lie or not give her a ring, because you know how you can tell if someone's lying, if they put in too much detail, if they stutter or stumble on their excuse.

Jenna is a shocking liar as well. Exactly. Don't you think she thinks she's one of those people that think she's really good.

And I've known Jenna longer than you, I reckon I'll be able to tell if she's taking the pits or not, or if she's absolutely telling the truth.

All Right, let's call Jenna Benson prize keeper Jenna and see where she is.

Hello Jenna, Hi, I've just been explaining to Mitch the reason that you're not here today.

Oh yes, yes, very very traumatic.

How are you doing.

I'm coping fine. It was full on and I've just received pictures of the man in question.

The wait, how did you find that you'd be broken into? Talk me through like the time of day. We're going full investigator mode.

Yea, the time of day? How did you find out? What did you say to the house?

Okay? I got a call at twelve o one pm today from the Gladeville Police station. It was a man and I picked it up and it was a no caller ID, So at first I thought it was you guys pranking me.

We're in bed Jenner at midday, so.

Yeah, I thought it was you. So I was just playing along until he asked me whether I live at the particular address that I do live for thee No, and he explains that my plates had been broken into by a man on the run. So they secured the whole apartment's block and police surround it at all, and he jumped over the fence into my courtyard and somehow managed to open the door sliding door and then lock it and use my place as he's hiding home.

Oh my god. Wait, so Connie was in there alone with this masked assailant.

Yeah, Connie was here alone, probably would have been sleeping.

Do you have the footage on your cat cam?

No, I don't because it's not working at the moment.

Of course, that's interesting, I know, I know.

So Connie was here alone with the man. When I came back into the apartment after I got the call from the police and rushed home, my little laundry cupboard door was open, insinuating that he was hiding in there.

Oh, how did he break into your place in the first place, Like, don't you have twenty four to seven security given your wealth?

Well, I was under the impression that I was secure here twenty four to seven security.

Do you have to break the lock?

Yeah, he broke the lock, and so he's hanging out in here. Police are surrounding him, and he thinks, you know, I'm going to make a run for it. I've done it, So he runs out my front door. No, I'm at work at.

This Okay, right, we're going back in time.

Okay, Yes, so I got the call at twelve oh one, and apparently it happened half an hour before that.

How they get number though, I assume.

It was the building manager. So anyway, they rush out of my door. The criminal and gets arrested.

He thought, I'm going to make a run for it. They've all gone, but they hadn't gone anywhere.

No, they hadn't gone anywhere. He thought he'd hide in here for a bit and then casually make his way out. Now they were there waiting for him, so they took him into custody, and apparently he'd stolen things from other from the actual service department.

Okay, so he wasn't actually robbing you. He was just using your place to hide out cover. Do you know what he was on the run for, just stealing shit?

Yeah, so I stole a car as well that he left out the front. But he is now claiming that he owns my apartment, which is why he was in here right.

When he wants you to be a cover for him, and you're so impressionable, Jenny, knowing you you'd go, Yes, that's my uncle. He's happy to help, happy to help him. He was in the laundry because he's helping with cleaning. Yeah, j it's interesting.

Nothing comes up when I search latest news, nothing on new police media alert.

And I've Google searched local meek and mild girl, the house broken into, and nothing has come up.

I've looked everywhere and there's nothing. And let me quickly send you a photo of this Guy's not how I expected him to look. Let's see.

I don't know if I want to see it. It'd be quite frightening. I'd imagine he's.

Okay sending this through. This is the guy on CCTV.

Oh, oh my god.

He looks like a CD bugger, doesn't he?

Is that in your apartment, Jenna.

No, that's outside my part.

I'm going to say. Also, there's a vibrator in a box at the front for you to come home to.

All the parcels and ship in the main foyer. Do you know what I think?

I do believe? Actually, yeah, Jenna, officially you have been cleared from your absence two weeks in a row. Congratulations so much.

I had full intentions of being on until I got this call from the lovely sergeant at Gladesville Police Station.

I didn't get all right, Well as well, that ends well, We're glad you're safe.

We're glad Connie's safe. Thanks Jenna, thank you.

Yeah, hopefully we'll see you next week.

You will, all right?

So yeah, Tata, imagine if we just played the gas lighter sting and said that we were gas lighting and we had a paid actor, Oh my god, and we were in on the whole thing. My sister, who's a police officer, came it was all a ploy, just to fuck with her.

Can you believe that her first assumption was that we were fucking with it?

I know?

Is that funny? Yeah, Like, why would we do that? That's as cruel because she's Okay, though I've never been breaking into of you, No, I.

Really thought it'd be a bigger issue because my parents were broken into like four times and they lived in Sydney. Every single time that mum got new curtains, they'd break in and steal them and they had to buy all these replacement TVs and so the way they described living in Sydney to me, I was like, this is going to be a constant problem in my life.

Yeah, not once.

I feel like I'm inviting it in. Now, don't invite it in, you know. My mum literally speaking of invited in. Yeah, invited robbers into our house. Oh God, my mum loves a drink and she loves a chat.

This is true.

I absolutely believe it too.

Mum was at Cronella Sharks Leagues club. We live about a kilometer away, well my family home not anymore, and Mom went come back to our house.

Haven't drinking.

Oh no, I do remember this now. Yeah, and Mum invited two random strangers that she didn't even meet in the club. They were on the street.

And then didn't you have to intervene and be like, get the fuck out.

My mom came to the door, didn't have a house key, so I opened up. She Hi, this is my friend Paul and John. And Paul and John are the shadiest two men you ever meant in your life. They're gonna come for a drink and they were scoping shit out and I'm like, get the fuck out of my house. Later that night we were broken into by two men.

So you know, God, that says so much about Michelle. She just assumes the best in peace and guided them in. She goes, Oh, they're fun.

I read into them on the way home from the game. Yeah, she meant, I light the eighties thought he was lovely.

She thought Hitler seems nice. It's just a bit troubled.

Is it just me?

The rude shocks of young adults?

Food?

All right, and just a reminder our new text line O four one two seven one two oh nine two.

Yes, every time you play that sound effect, it's not me, it's automated.

I've set up Siri to recognize, of course. And I'm so glad we set up this text line because we got a real doozy really during the week.

Yeah, this isn't and is it just you?

This is just.

Something they've known.

Yeah, Like, you don't have to flickers the text just if you've got an is it just you? Or if you want to come in the show, any thoughts you have while listening, shoot them through, just like, oh my god, her name is Megan.

I'm not even kidding.

Oh god, what are the odds of that? Yeah, so this was based off last week. Remember how we were talking about rattles then, like things that you commonly fall back on, phrases that you often say just as filler.

Like a crutch, like your brain sort of relies on a disauto fil.

Like your autopilot default response to things. We all have one, so Meghan or Meghan says, hi mitches. Speaking of rattles, I think Cheery has a new one. I've noticed recently that he always says good call. Sometimes it's because someone's actually made a good call. Other times you can tell it's because he just wasn't listening. No, I hate these and so when she pointed it out, I was like, Oh, I'm going to see if she's onto something. This was

Yeah, good call.

Nah, it makes it sound like you have no faith in the person you're talking to.

Good call. Oh the problem with it is it is sea level. And whenever there's severe floods.

Well sea level at what point because the tides changed?

Oh yeah, good call?

The fuck is good about hustle and Bustle? Also Sydney hardly has it?

Yeah, good call?

Come on, that was just last week. That's bad And I took a listen back further. There's more from overtime. I fucking love Adelaide I was converted. I was like, I could live here easily.

Good call.

Yeah, we've got one from Shane. Notice it all from women. Good wanted to fess up. You better actually pay because then there'll be a strike against your name. Yeah, cool, prime possum is primes And so Channel seven brought them out. Oh good coll They don't give us clear answer.

It's a short flight to camera. Good call.

But they were at the servo together. If he wanted to get himself a Mars bar and you get one good call?

God, good call? Where does that come from? I don't even know. It's not even a phrase that I think I say.

Is it because I make constant good calls? Or is it just a reflex?

Far from it, it's a reflet. I wonder if I say good call on other programs that I do, or is it just is it just you that I'm thinking makes good calls?

Well, your producers out there, why don't you ask her produce a flippug?

Can you come to the microphone very quickly? Sorry? Why what do you call it? Produce a flick?

Well?

Her name's Tony Kipper and Kipper's ah. Mitch has identified a crutch of mine that I often.

Say a phrase he always says, if you've noticed or if he just says it on this podcasn.

You work with me across all my other shows, so we thought we'd ask you in case you've noticed it too, why don't you play the example? So this is just from last week's podcast, episode one, one hour show.

If you cut you know what I mean off the end of the sentence, it still makes perfect sense. I don't need it there, you know what I mean?

Yeah?

Good call?

Nah?

It sound like why no?

What?

Yes?

You do it all in the time, like multiple times, absolutely, and it's the face you also squint when you do it. Yeah, I'll funk.

Off a lot of you, I reckon. It's because sometimes you're not actually listening. And it just used to me making constant good calls.

You're like, yeah a good call, Yeah, good call, fuck off, you're fired, good call. Yeah. Oh that's and he's here actually for the first time in months, contraceptive diaphragm SAM, and he's shaking his head like he's noticed it as well.

With this entire show, I've been listening.

By the way, Hi, Hi, you've maybe said this five, six, seven times, and also at one point four times in about three minutes. Yeah, I've started smirking to myself today because I knew what was coming up.

Again, guys, I'm very just too too much talking.

Yeah, I seriously thin, I fucking agree, don't you worries.

Of the reviewers. It's a problem, clearly. My brain is just making good calls, not a bad thing. It's just something I've noticed that just a crutch. Yeah eh, fuck, And I thought I was so smooth. I'm like, no one, No one can tell that I'm zoning out. Where have you been? Sam? By the way?

Ah?

You know around good? Fair enough? You say fair enough as well?

Do I?

Yes?

I just don't we put that to the room. Do I say fair enough a lot?

Does Mitch have one?

Sam?

But you noticed?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

I probably do.

I just haven't noticed.

You say.

Yeah, but that's a catchphrase more so than a rattle. Yeah. Eah, yeah, I'm going to think, why start now? Fuck, I'm going to go back in the little backlog of the show and I'm going to find it. I find I'm going to bring it to you on one of my one of your crutches. Yeah, it has to be even playing fields. You know, I agree. No, you're right.

It should be even playing fields. So oh for one two seven, one two nine two, what's my rattle?

All right, let's go a great show. Hope Janne's okay. Thoughts prayers with her. I know she does attracts drama, doesn't She actually does. She really does. And mating weird.

Because she's not someone who on the surface appears like she would cope with drama, and yet it's constantly in a life.

So this podcast is in for the same time every week, and she didn't message us to say, Hi, I'm not going to be there. My house has been burgled. We had to message and ask no.

No, no.

She she sent me a text, oh oh please clear who wears the pants? All right, let's go. We'll see you in a week. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Five star review if you can Spotify as well, Apple Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts.

I did notice on Spotify when you look at our overall rating, it went from four point nine stars overall to five stars, so obviously people are fingermashing that five star button. I didn't realize this is not the time to stop.

Keep it up.

Five star rating on Spotify. Please, how do you find it? I've never actually looked Spotify.

If you just go to our podcasts at the top seeing Jesus Christ, look at usco not bad considering eighty percent of people listen on Apple.

Yeah wow, I love that. All right, guys, thank you for listening. We'll see next week.

Then bye bub Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of Make sure you've hit to follow on your podcast.

Welcome to a to D brief. This is our secret segment on the end, couple of people with ad D having a de brief talking shit, good girl, not god.

I have just gone to Apple and Mitchell. It's been updated. We applied for that fancy full screen podcast page and it's been improved. We've got it. Did you notice that they mangled our logo? How we look at it closely? Oh, you're right, you're kideous? No our logo?

What do you mean?

Is it just me?

Yeah? They've cropped out the podcast the podcast. You're right, so yeah, they just.

Took it upon themselves to completely bastardize our logo. I was like, keep your grabbing mits off at please Apple.

If you go to if you listen on Apple Podcasts, and you click our show and go to the homepage. Our artwork is now full page, full screen. It's animated. If you move the screen, we.

Move, kind of like a Facebook cover photo.

Yeah it is. And it's only like the really big legit shows can get it and do it.

It's true.

I mean it is true. Yeah, but ours is. They've so Apple photo shopped the word the podcast out.

Yeah.

Wow, like the nerve of you. That shocks me to my core.

I can't just fuck with people's logos without telling them.

We also need to update our heads to match the blue we both have blue ones. Well, they both yelled this conversation off it. This has become a business meeting.

Oh look the most recent review on Apple. Yeah, this pot is a laugh and a half cheery. Made me spit in my coffee the other day. Feels like a warm hug and hanging out with friends.

There you go.

Should demand out all your well not all your chit revieus.

It was only one. Shut up. They weren't even shit.

I'm not making this up. All the one that brought it to my attention.

You're true, you're right.

You sent me a screenshot of them.

I was upset. I know you didn't read along. Cheery made my spit out my coffee the other day due to his homophobic slurs. I'm joking, dearie me.

I wish that you could write a review on Spotify and like it can an applicate it's it's so egotistical.

It's nice to read praise. Oh my god, it's so nice. Yeah, especially on like work.

Do you actually read Google reviews? Sometimes I will make a decision if I google them. I don't know massage is near me. I will make a decision based on the Google review.

One hundred Yeah. I won't leave a Google review because you're not allowed to leave anonymous ones, and I just don't want them being linked to me because I am scathing. I don't want to be labeled at Karen, what have you been scathing about? Heaps? Optus the other day really fucked me off and I wanted to leave an angry review.

I don't think you can leave a review for.

Opts just an example of a company that pissed me off. But if I had bad service, and I like I'm a bad service, I get it. But like if I had a rough if I was really mad, I would leave a bad Google review.

Oh no, But sometimes it becomes too much to think about because I'm like, I'll write the email to make a complaint, and then I'm like, okay, I'm going to reread it, reread it again to make it less mean but also not completely walk all over me too polite. And then I end up obsessing over it and I'm like, no, I discover well, then don't let it slide.

You know what happened to me when I'm such like a fucking follower. I read an article about a homophobic cafe in Sydney and Darlinghurst that like we're ripping down pride flags or posted on that they posted on their Facebook page like it may be Pride, but you know we're selling exclusively to the straight peak customers, you know, like it was homophobic. So then everyone was flooding their Google reviews with one star review. So I joined in.

I was gonna say, I don't remember hearing about this awful cafe it was.

And the reason I I remember it's because the other day I saw it pop up in my Facebook feed because I followed the page. Why did you follow the page? That's the rewarding you know, I know I'm gonna have to google it. Hold on, Yes, here it is third of November twenty twenty two, or sorry, twenty twenty oh so this is ages ago Sydney restaurantur Oh here it was, declares Trump safe zone and serves homophobic slurs. Oh now I do remember.

Yes.

A vegan restaurant owner in Sydney is courted backlash after declaring his restaurant was a Donald Trump safe zone, inviting patrons for pancakes with a side of racism and using homophobic slurs on social media. Removed pride flags, yes, calling people the awful awful, awful, awful anyway people were discover Halen Harty was his name, Hailen Harty Darlinghurst. If you want to get across it.

God, don't add fuel to the fire. Now, don't reignite it. Yeah.

No, he's probably changed his ways and we're going to be like you fucker.

I just feel like, why would you bother putting that out there, How on earth is it going to be received other than that you're gonna get flooded.

With I've just googled it. Halen Hardy read that red out loud. What is the saying read permanently closed? I guess you know what else is permanently closed? And this is absolutely old news, but I only just found out, and I'm shatting. Yeah. You know that Harbor Bridge walk during Sydney Prime or were you walk over the Harbor Ridge? Yeah, the Pride March.

We got to the other end near the Domain, and Sean and I were like, let's go to the Link Cafe in Martin Place. It was the best hot chocolate. Yeah, it's been closed since twenty twenty one, or maybe even twenty twenty.

Shit, I didn't know that.

Ye. Apparently COVID meant that there wasn't any foot trafficker Martin Place, so they just call.

It a day. Isn't that funny? After the Link? Not funny?

No?

No, no, I mean I was shattered. No, the Link Cafe. If you don't know about Sydney's Link Cafe, it had the siege. Oh yes, of course people might not know. But I was so scared to go back in.

No, it was a bit eerie the first time I went in, But I'm like, they shouldn't be punished for what happened inside the cafe. Shit fucking hell, it was the best hot chocolate ever.

Lind Hot Chocolates are fucking I love the Sanchuro hot chocolates. You get the Mexican one and then it's literally a block of Cadbury chocolate melted into a cup. What did you say it was called sanchiro. I've never even heard of them. Sanchiro. Yeah, it's like it's a better version of Max Brenner. Really, maybe Sanchiro shut down. I haven't had one in years, Actually, Santiro shut I don't know you're telling the story. God, gon google it.

Now.

This weekend, Mitchell, I'm throwing a party.

Yeah, thanks so much for changing the date. Now, I've got no time to think of a costume.

Are you against changing the date? Shut up? Yeah? Good call. Oh my god, this is so funny. There's only a Sanchuro in Miranda, which is where I grew up. There's only a Sanchiro in Glebe, which is where I've just moved from. That you go over and there's my suburb, and there's another one in mac Quarry Park. That's where I work live and where I used to live. No wonder, I think it's big.

There's in your specific bubble. It's business as the usual. But I've never heard of this place. I don't even recognize the logo.

Sanchuro is the best. Look at it, Mitch Cookie. But they have good protein balls too. You love this place. Delicious drinks, they do churros. They're getting ready. I'm gonna get you at the menu because there's a hot chocolate. I hope there's photos. Yeah, and it's just melted chocolate.

I can just take your word for it here.

Hot chocolates look normal. Hot chocolates. Yeah, thick Spanish, I said, Mexican, and it is literally just hot chocolate.

Sounds like something you could easily diy. Yeah, it's melt a bit of chocolate.

Seven fifty fact. None in this economy, not in this climate, not in this climate. No, No, anyways, for my fellow Santuro.

Lovers, Varlet obviously Sanchiro.

No, it's around just my hub. So I'm having a part of this weekend. It's like a housewarming ex Hayden's birthday and the theme is Barbie.

If it's a housewarming, does that mean I have to bring something like a gift?

What do you need?

No?

Yeah? Do you know I like to get you housewarming gift? You did too?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Some candles?

What do you And you said it was your favorite?

Oh yes, it's one of these ones that I don't like to burn off and because I want to savor it gorgeous.

We still have the tea tawl you gave us last time, so we don't need one until that burns down.

Wait, I could have sworn you told me that you did burn the tea towel.

That I got you. Oh no, it's got burn marks on it. I was just sort of meaning until.

It dies, okay, that you couldn't do with another te towel.

Maybe if I mean, I'm not going to say no on another tea towel, What do you actually need?

Like?

Housewarmings are weird ones where if you get something there's a risk I've already.

Got it, Like you don't want two toasters? I love a dice in vacuum?

Are you joking for someone who got me? A phone call with Tim Dahmer for my birthday. I'm not buying your fucking five hundred dollar dice in vacuum?

Is that what I did? Yes?

And you said I know you're a huge fan, so I've got your surprise. And I'm like, I've met this man multiple times. You think it's funny.

Yeah, I forget that I did that. What did he?

What have we geh, You're good at forgetting.

I really am What have we even talked him about? Not much?

Not much because your stupid stunt came unsuck when I pointed out that I have met this man before and it's not a birthday surprise. I went to the bathroom and you and Jenna are panicked because you'd forgotten my birthday. And you went into your contacts and just found the first person that you knew would pick up, and it was Tim Dormer. And then you tried to gaslight me and say, I know you're a huge fan. I was like, when have I ever said that? Oh, that's really funny. Fuck,

Jude?

No joy yep. And then Jenna played me a song on the recorder which I bought for her.

I'm not laughing at that day. It was hilarious.

How you thought that I was just going to go along with it and be like, oh wow, this is my surprise, Like, what, well was that gonna work?

You want to know you're right?

I am a fan of Tim dorm even tho I've never ever uttered those words for.

The first time ever. Bag call? Yeah, Why am I always so agree? I agree with everything I should go? Bag call? Yeah, pushback, bag call, horrible call, in fact, one of the worst calls. Yeah, I didn't realize how big Selena Gomez was. All this Hailey Bobwin beef. Everyone's like team Selena. Yeah, you across that. You feel like you're a Selena fan.

Yeah.

I can't help button be across it because it's all over everywhere. But I just don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about Bieber and Selena. Just let it die, that relationship. It's not twenty sixteen, so.

The poor girls very unwell. Just let her, like, don't add more stress to her life.

I just saw she posted on Instagram.

Oh what did she do? Was that with her boobs out?

No, she's like she was meant to be taking a break from social media and she just was at the top of my feet before. Yeah, one day ago. Oh you already liked it. Yeah, you've seen it.

Her boobs are out right hardly it's got Isn't that funny that you said you've already seen it? You always come up on my feed because your little profile icon is so distinct. Do I come up two on yours? Like when it says Mitch Jury and fourteen others have liked this post. Yeah, your head is always there.

I saw I think the other day it was like, if you press and hold, you know, the little paper plane icon on Instagram, if you want to forward a post to someone, Yeah, if you press and hold on that, the four people that pop up are the fore most important people in your life.

You're kidding? Do you want to see who I go? Oh?

Yeah, I got Sean, Oscar, Andrew and you.

Ah.

I was like, it's not far off. Okay, So you go to Instagram the little paper plane like you're about to forward it instead of just hitting it, you press and hold. Okay, I better be one of your other sweeter.

Fuck Hayden producer Flipper who we just met, yep, because I send her stuff for the shows Mitchell koumb and my mother Michelle.

Well, you can't argue with that, can you?

Do you follow my mother, Michelle? I don't think so. I just sent her that post, which was a dull Megan. I just said, my mum the post, or she'll freak out. Oh god, it's Meghan the creepy killer Dog. So who is it? Meghan?

Now?

Who? Yeah, it's Did you see that movie Meghan with the creepy doll? No, that's an interest. It was ridiculous. It was so funny.

It was meant to be a horror movie, but it was so ridiculous that we were just laughing at the cinema.

Hayden saw it and said he loved it, thought it was great.

Yeah, it was like one of those horror movies that you can't take seriously at all, which is my favorite.

Is that noise you hear?

Yeah, it's like a buzzing.

It was like a digerido.

Not really, let me put my mic down there so we can hear.

It sounds like a fan of sorts.

Yeah, what is that? It sounds like there's a b trapped under the desk.

Oh my god. In my new place, I have a herb.

We're going to carry on with the bee swarm like, just ignore it.

I don't think it's a bee.

Imagine if the studios exploded, be a nice way to go, if we died doing what we love.

Look at my herb garden.

Oh my god, what when did you turn fifty? I swear to God, what do you mean?

You don't like it?

It's not that I don't like it. I'm just I didn't think i'd be having this conversation with you when we're still in our twenties. Look at my herb garden.

If you had a garden, you'd have herbs.

I don't know what I maybe are they easy to maintain? Or can you easily kill them? If they're high maintenance? I'm out you can kill them. Sean got me a plant for Christmas. I think it was an orchard, and he prefaced with these ones are impossible to kill, and yet I managed.

You killed it?

Yes?

Did you not water? Is that the problem?

Well?

You're only meant to water it once a week, maybe twice, and not give it too much son, but still give it some son. And so the leaves that are usually green have gone because I gave it too much to sun's how can that be? It was inside with no direct exposure to sunlight.

I'm trying to keep myself alive. I don't have the time to work on that plant.

It's a blessing in disguise that because I have a cat, most of my plants are fake because it means that I don't have to actually water them. Like I went to Bunnings trying to get new houseplates. Every single one I liked. I googled is it toxic to cats? And the answer was so really, I've had to op for fake plants that it was not to murder my daughter.

Yeah. We have an air purifier in our house, and it's so funny. We only just got it when I had COVID for the second time, and it goes, oh the bees have stopped, Oh thank you, I have h good for them. Yeah, and it's got an led ring on it and blue means pure air, clean, no problem, it's quiet. Orange means like, oh, yeah, there's some pollutants.

Air is a bit fucked.

Red means like you have fucking shat your pants and we need to filter out the poo.

I've got an air perifire, but it does not tell me that I almost don't want to know.

Oh no, you don't want to know. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. The other day, Hayden were building a dining room table and I farted and laugh because I was getting up and down. And then all we hear is ye purifies. We can't purify this with bright red.

The fuck kind of ransom air? Are you carting around?

That? That's alarm? It was death air.

I really do not want to get to the point in my relationship where I am comfortable fighting in front of him. I don't want to get there. I don't far in front of me.

It's going to happen.

It will.

We're too crisp for that. I'm telling you it will. How long did it take you a day? It canna happen on the first day? Oh my god, had pizza? Will fight in front of them? That's all you do? Why just happens? It's natural. There's there's a level of comfort that comes with you know, four years.

Yeah, I can understand the level of comfort thing. But what about the level of respect? Yes, that comes with not farighting in front of each other.

We are lacking in that department.

You actually can control the fart in a way.

Yes you can. We can't suck up. It's got to go out at some point. Although there has like times in my life where you really need to fight, you kind of push it back up and then it goes and you never fight again. I'm like, where is that here? That's why it comes out so ransid purify. Yeah. These in nineteen ninety five, far Hayden and I have started this really cute thing around our new kitchen. We have like a glass splash splash back.

They're a nightmare. Why because the nightmata constantly clean?

Oh yes they are.

It's splash a bit of delmeo on there. Yeah, every fucking day, wipe by the cleaning. I know it's gonna get dirty.

And it's white pain of the fucking ass. But anyway, I got for Hayden's birthday whiteboard markers just to write a nice birthday message on the splash back, like they love you. That is cute. It's cute. And then anyway, every morning since then he wrote one the next day to me, and then the next day, so every morning we're both writing each other a message. But it got to they're really cute, like he had ay do you

A crossover where you're not both home at the same time. So you rub his message out and then right your own. So when he gets home, yes, and then there's a little gag that we both I don't know who wrote them, like, oh, who wrote it's stupid like the fairies. One of these days he should just confuse him and write pack your shit and get out and break up with him on a white board, or.

Just be like, it's a murderer, Mitch's dead in the house somewhere to find it might really fuck him anyway. It's we've been like two weeks now, and it's got to the point where it's like there's not much happening in the house. So all I did was write house level unpacked eighty seven percent to like remind him that we still need to unpack. Oh, it wasn't even a beautiful message. Well, how rude.

Imagine him just walking into the kitchen going, I can't wait to have my heart warmed by some beautiful message and it was that.

On Oscar's Day he wrote congratulations to everything everywhere, all at once, for seven Oscar knobs. God were It's just a fucking bulletin board. Now next week our neighbors will be putting their free grand pianos on there.

You should write like for a TBH on there, and then I dearly He'll come home and just write like.

And then really all right, I'm gonna do that. Aah. You better see what he says. Yeah, all on the party, you can write something? Am I entitled to get in on?

This?

Is that kind of like third Wheeltown? This is a cute couple of things.

You're in my top four aeroplane people. You, Mum? Who else Tony and Maiden? Will Tony and Mum be at this party? Tony'll be at the party.

Great, I'll be fighting her for the fucking whiteboard market thing.

Take it all right, shall we head? They're girls? We gotta go.

Yeah, that's fine.

Oh, Date, I want to kick that little bitch. Sorry that was very aggressive.

No, but you understand where I'm coming from now, because every single person sitting next to me wanted to kick this little bit, which is not That's not a normal way to feel around a child.

That just shows how fucking annoying she was.

They were also giving out Meghan train At CDs at the concert, and I was so tempted to put my hand up, grab that CD and just snap it in front of the child because she again wanted the CD. And God didn't we hear about it?

Did she get it? Nah?

Shit, No, they only had like five CDs. I was throwing them.

Matter of everyone run.

This bitch was screaming that she wanted mine.

Oh really me? How old was this girl?

Now?

I'm probably too old for that behavior.

Well that's what I thought. My mother would never have let me get away with that shit. No.

I went to the taping of Australia's Funny Time Videos for my tenth birthday and I wasn't yelling out for Tony parrim the whole fucking Nighty. All right, let's go hard.

Did I already do the three percent thing?

No?

Should be called jennerjesticet her to say so we do?

That's quick' say hello? She was already on.

Hello.

Anyway.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent better today.

That's all we do. Hang out there, she's gone all right, We'll see you next week. See you guys. I love your.

Is It Just Me?

A podcast by a couple of miches. Make sure you've got to follow on your podcast st app