#124: Never Eat Soggy Weet-Bix

People do some weird shit.

Would you like to try vape?

Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive?

I think that people.

I'll tell you what.

Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No, you know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spood, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of a hole.

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Bean fingered as an awful sensation. You haven't been thinking about the right person.

Goodness, may this is just I'm still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season.

Sorry now he is Mitch Julli and Mitchell Koob.

Well, Hello, Hello, welcome back to the podcast. Mitchell Cheery's ditched me again.

This week.

He's having his own little psychiatric recess. If you like original idiots will know what that means. So you know we're wishing him well, but hey, third Wheel Prize keeper Jenny's here as normal. Yes, and of course contraceptive diaphram. Sam's hanging around. So we got this cover, don't we work. We'll give it a well, you've got to talk really close to that mic.

By the way.

You've got a fucking deep throat it like me. Look, yeah, I know what I'm doing. It's fine, Jenna. You know what I figured out. You know how Sam had a bit of a hiatus from the podcast. Yes, I realized that he only comes crawling back when he's single to try and pick up one of our skank Nay, it's true.

It's because he's been in Scones for the last couple of months and now he's single again.

He's wanting to get his sexy voice out there, hoping he'll get some idiot puss.

I didn't realize there's a pattern.

It all makes sense.

You haven't joined the Endured Idiot's Facebook group. Look, i'll chuck something out on there. We find a first trap, well.

I mean good like it hasn't worked for Jenna or I, but we've not found our lifelong partners on this podcast.

But it seems different. He's a different breed.

Yeah, it's true.

I got to say, I walked in the building today and I was like, oh god, I'm feeling a bit tired.

And then I realized that you guys have been up since four am. And I'm like, shit, I'm not going to get any pity from them, am I? Well?

I mean I came in, I've got a shaky hand and a red bull in it, and I'm like, this will be fine.

I'm who I hate that feeling when you're tired and you're trying to counteract it with like uppers, but that's not going to achieve anything. You just need to sleep, Darland. If you need to nap halfway through this podcast, by all means.

Look, that sounds so good. It's nice and warm in this room. It's quiet.

Yeah, the aircon in this room does make it feel like we're in or like thereof I should say the lack of aircon makes it feel like we're kind of in Fiji and we can just be.

Lying on the pool.

Yes, Buller, there is something I had.

A warm room that makes you more sleepy. I'm not into it.

I don't need this anyway. I mean, you guys, aren't you here? You know how this works, aren't you?

Yeah?

Pretty much?

You tell me, Jenna, how do we start the show the same way every.

Week with them?

And is it just me each correct? And what are they.

Something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate?

Thank you so much, listens.

I'm hoping you've both bought one. I don't want to be doing gym's on my own.

I have brought one excellent.

Why don't you go first?

No?

Hang on where? I just realized you have you ever done? And is it just me?

You don't know? I haven't?

What is it just me? Virgin?

Oh my god, I didn't realize three years of the podcast, I've not done a single one because no one has asked me.

I just realized because Jim's done, like a few should do it every week because usually Mitch and I.

But wow, okay, oh my god, he's a virgin.

Wow.

We'll have to save that cherry for later. I think we'll pop that cherry later.

Nervous, I just want to get it over and done with. I don't want to think about it. I just want to get it out of my sisters.

Do you want to go first? No?

No, no, I'm happy for that to night, but I'm shy.

Oh he's letting us finish first. What a gentleman, I know.

But your first gym is always nerve wracking by the second you're used to it.

Just go slow, all right? Should I go first?

Let's do it?

All right? Peters Bradley?

Is it just me?

Have you ever actually bought something from an infomercial on TV?

Yes?

I bet your hair, Yes I have.

Yeah.

You know how they've got those like twenty four to seven shopping channels like TV. What is it? I was gonna say TV and Z, but that's not it.

TVSA Yes, TV.

So close those sorts of things that it's running all night and they're even on you know, channel nine and Channel seven in the mornings.

Have you ever actually bought something from them?

Yes?

What did you get?

You remember the snuggies? I think they're called?

Oh yes, remember it was like a blanket with armholes.

Yeah, like id it was like an historical Udi.

Yes, Snuggies walked so Udies could run.

Yea.

Yeah. The only things I've fallen for were Proactive, which oh.

Yes, I did go for Proactive when I was going to well, yes, isn't it fucked. It's horrific and it bleached my skin.

What celebrity endorsements got you over the line.

Jessica Simpson.

I think mine is Katie Perry, but they also had like Justin Bieber and on there. And remember recently Kendall Jenna was flogging it. I was like, oh my god, is this still happening. They're still ripping off teenagers, pull pimply little fucks.

And the thing is there were like five different bottles and.

They never mentioned on the ad that Proactive bleaches the fuck out of everything, absolutely and will actually make your skin dryer than a nun's more. Yes, they don't mention that, and then when you actually make the call, they will say by the way, they will try and upsell you. They'll say, by the way, this will be dry and awful for your skin, so you might want to buy the Proactive branded moisturizer as well.

That it was horrible. I also fell for the Abscircle.

Pro Oh no, I did want one of those.

I don't think I actually got it off the informercial though. I got a used one off gum Tree.

Yeah, but you were inspired by it?

I was, fuck, they're boring?

What do you even do in that? I kn'd even picture it, you know, the ones, do not.

Know what they are? No, Oh, hang on, I'll find it. It's like, God, how did you even explain it? Jenna? You just swivel.

You just it's literally just moving.

It is one of those things that you're like, plunge to the wall, suction cup of wall and you're just like hover.

There no, nothing like that. Here we go.

This is a real challenge.

Now you just put your knees on the pads and then you just kind of swivel.

Excellent, what is that achieving?

It's so easy and you can lose weight.

You look like an idiot while you're doing it.

You feel like one too, And it's like they say, it's so easy, but it's also really boring. I was swiveling on this stupid fucking thing.

Nah, But I mean, you can do anything while you do it. You can watch TV, you can talk to your family.

You really can't because that motherfucker's loud. It's like, it was so disappointing. And do I have abs?

No? No, I don't do. I still have pimples, Yes, yes I do.

The weirdest thing about the proactive is that because I'm mostly out of out La, not in or out. But whenever you go through any major mall in America, there'll just be these vending machines for Proactive have you everything. Really yeah, and it's just it's just filled with these products. You get your refills, you get your thing. They've got like a little video screen showing loops of Justin Bieber going, you know, I'm twelve here and you know, my skin up immediately.

I think I saw I saw it at LA Airport or something.

Yeah, that would make sense.

It's random.

I did make a prank call the other night. Sam was there.

I hate to admit what time it was, but I was a bit Titaly and thought it would be.

Funny to call TVSN.

Oh my god.

It turns out out of ours they're not selling things.

So they had to take my number and name and stuff and call me back about what the hell was I trying to buy.

I can't even remember.

I know, I know it was a massaging bed.

They looked dope, to be fair.

Yeah, it's one of those things that just vibrate. They don't actually massage you. You just lie on it and then you just kind of just to get and that's it.

Yeah, And I decided to call it like three am or something, and they took my name in number, never called me back, never called me.

Back, I know.

And you seem so keen.

Who do you reckon?

Is actually watching those TV channels at fucking three am apart from me and actually making a call.

Oh no, surely not. There's got to be some very sad board housewife or some that's like come home from a night out, which is mostly me. Like, it's my favorite thing to do is to just sit there and just cycle through them.

At through I get sucked in, like I really do.

They're so inconsistent with the accents though. One minute it's an American selling it to me, one minute it's a Kiwi yeah, and then they'll be an Australian voice over come over just for the phone number.

See that's my favorite bit where it's just they go through the entire thirty minutes of the ad. They've got all these people in mall of America just being like, oh my god, it changed my life. You too can get this online now. And then there's just some guy very unenthusiastically going cool now and you yeah, Third, one, three, hundred.

But I love it when you've got the Kiwi accent selling thin lizzing and they're like fun loveing or you know what we should do when Mitch's back, We'll get him to call one of these TVs and things as dot wigans. Oh my god, geez, the sort of bitch that will be watching late nights bloody infomercials twenty four to seven.

Absolutely anyway, who's next?

Who wants to do their edgem? And we're going Jenna and then saving the Virgin til last? Is that how it's gonna work?

Wow, I've got to lose myself up first.

You're right, let's do it? Is it just me? Do soggy wheatbis deserve more respect?

No?

Absolutely not?

So are you when you do have WHEATBINX? Are you having those hard No?

You have.

You have a very short window. You go from it just being something that will destroy your entire power. Yes, yea, and then you have it sits for about I think the pocket is ninety seconds. It's a minute and a half.

And during that minute and a half they're absolutely gorgeous. I love it when it's just slightly soggy, but they're still in their shape.

They haven't started to.

No, No, all right, then disagree.

It sounds like it is just you.

I want them soggy. I want it to look like cereal.

It doesn't look like Cereal.

It looks like cat food exactly, which makes total sense that you'd resonate with that.

Yes, but I like it when the milk SIPs in, So it's soggy and I'm sorry, Like even when when you were kids, we taught the North South East West as never eat soggy wheat pinks.

Yes, I couldn't agree more.

It's just disrespectful.

Have you ever tried to Have you ever tried to wash up a bowl with fucking dry weetbis on it?

Oh?

Have you ever tried to wash that basket? It's like concrete.

No, no, no, that's where I think soggy wheatbinks.

So you're slurping up every laugh soggy bit?

Are you?

I'm licking the plate like a cat.

No. Point absolutely not points. No, it just resembles. And there's something about the texture of soggy wheatbeakes. It reminds me of chunda.

Yeah, no I don't.

It's skewing a bit vomit not it is, No, it is No.

Don't you dare put that in my head.

Do you know who else eats vomit cats?

Oh?

No, that's dogs anyway, close enough. Dani's is an animal from way back. That's what we can ascertain from that.

It really does have like a cat vomit thing. Yes, and it's a coloring everything about it.

Be quiet. You're both wrong.

Now you think about that while you're just gobbling down yourself.

I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about how delicious it is.

It's not even delicious it is. Have you added a bit of honey or something?

Yeah, honey, Oh gorgeous? Yeah honey. And it's soggy.

Yeah. I used to add so much brown sugar to my weetbaks to the point where there's no way they were healthy.

Fucking way add things to it.

Yeah, Like Mum was always pushing the bananas on me, like I'll have a banana and whet picks.

I'm like, in what world do they coexist? They just don't. They don't correlate at all.

But even in the ads and stuff they have like strawberries and bananas.

No, thanks, No, I don't know what Brettley is doing with his you know, I'm gonna have my seventeen wheat picks and half a bowl of fruit and fruit salad, you know, buffet. Yeah, like, what are you doing with this?

I know, it just doesn't make sense. And the whole how many do you eat?

Shut up? I used to think when you know the up and goes.

Yeah, they would always market them as the same nutrients as two wheat beaks of milk. And I'm like, just eat your wheat bichs. It eats fucking showing off. Look how much more expensive they are. Just sit down for your ninety seconds or whatever during that window and eat your fucking wheat picks. You know that those girls that are get on the bus with their up and and I'm like, shut the fuck up, stup acting like you're so busy, you're so on the go.

Also, it is a bust thing, isn't it. You go is like it's very intrinsically buss.

Yes, very much so. I don't think we need a drum roll for this though.

Okay, okay, we'll go slide. Oh no, is it time's inaugural?

Is it just me?

Just take it easy.

And if it gets too much, we can stop. It's fine, we can just cuddle.

That's quite nice.

Actually, I know you're tired.

You'll fall asleep in my No, no, that will happens.

Okay, hit it, Bradley. Is it just me?

Does make up for men need to be more normalized? Oh?

God, I think so.

Here's the reason I say this, right, is that, as the token straight on this show.

You're trying to be woke because as if someone like me is gonna to go no just you. Yeah, makeups not for blokes.

But I feel like such a pretty angel the moment I get to put on any kind of concealer or foundation.

Yeah.

Just It's the first couple of times I've done this for any kind of on camera thing or anything that I've had to do.

Where does your face get really fucking shining like mine?

Yeah? No, it's no, No, I'm just glow.

Yeah.

I brought my little my little powder for today. Otherwise I look like a shiny bastard.

And I immediately realize why they, like the women of the world, will go out of their way to dole themselves up before they go outside, because the moment that you take all of that shit off and you realize what your face actually looks like without it, all You're just like, oh, okay, never again, that I'm just gonna wear this for the rest of my life.

Yeah, that's the thing.

I try not to wear it too often because if I wear it all the time, then I won't ever look especially good. Like if I go out, I just look the same as normal. If I'm wearing makeup every day, but it's like it's been occasion. If I pop a bit of face on, I'm like, damn, bitch, look at you. Your gortous. I remember one time my brother, who you know, Janny.

He's such a dope. It's like the dopiest straight guy ever.

I was driving him to school and I had some tinted moisturizer and he goes, what's this And I was like, put it on? And he put it on. The tinted moisturizer, that's all. It was like a bit of beber cream or something, not even full face. And then he pulls down the sun visor with a little mirror on it and looks at himself and goes, oh, oh, imagine how

Fuck you.

But this is the thing, the moment, because I get probably a cumulative five hours of sleep a week because I'm just that bitch, and with these dark circles, the moment that I'm able to take that away, I'm just like, oh, what a moment.

I really thought that my dark circles would kind of vanish when I stopped working early hours, doing.

Bloody shift work. Now they're still there. They're clutching on for dear life. They're a part of me. Now I've accepted it.

Yeah, I was wishful thinking on my part as well. As soon as you got out of that, I'm just like, I'm just going to use every face product that I could possibly imagine.

It really is so lame, but it is quite It is worthwhile investing in a good skincare routine aside from makeup, but just day to day skincare. Yeah, the amount of comments I've started getting only in the last six months being like, your skin looks amazing, and I'm like, thank God, it's because I've stopped using fucking Woollies. A Veno moisturizer in that huge pump all over the.

Last me four years. Yeah, just slap a bit of that on. But now I love my nightly skincare routine. Now it's gorgeous, very important.

Yeah, I feel like I'm glowing, even though I'm absolutely not. Everyone tells me you look really well, and I'm like, I'm not. I just look at it.

Is it just me? Got something on your mind?

Hit?

I've at a couple of mitches on Instagram to get yourself on the shoe.

Yep, that's right. Whatever's on your mind, hit us up. You can come on the show as a caller. Just let us know, or just send us a voice message.

Totally up to you. Today's is it just you come from? Let me check? I forgot to bloody guys.

I haven't actually had to use the buttons myself in a studio in a long time. I've been relying on Mitch for three years, and it's like all of my radio training went out the window. I can't remember how to use anything. Oh the here we go it from Bloody mon Here's what mon has to say.

Hi guys, my name is Monica. I love the podcast. My GM is Is it just me or our cubes? The most underrated shape or three D shape there is because I was just watching a Instagram reel of a woman who went to pastry school in France and they were making marshmallows and instead of the marshmallows being this sort of spear cylinder type of thing, it was in a queue and I thought, oh, it's so cute. So I was wondering are cubes underrated, because to be honest,

A nice lady who loves a cube.

Can we backtrack a bit? Why are you going to pastry school to make marshmallows?

Yeah?

That's a god people like general no fun, there's no need to nit pictures, just enjoying her cube marshmallows. I am picturing a cube marshmallow and it does sound quite fun. Yeah, it depends how like how you know neatly cut?

Is it? It has to be neatly cut?

So yeah, that's mon coming in with her lukewarm tape.

I do enjoy cubes, mooring cubes they're fun. Yeah, like three D you know where you draw the two boxes and.

Put the little arrow like the nice No, that's nerdy.

That's they used to try and get us to do that in maths. I remember. But I mean there's other cube confectioneries.

You've got what they called the honeycombs, you know, the chocolate and honeycombs.

Hate them?

Yeah, yeah, or.

Like a Turkish Delight, not the chocolate, like the actual Turkish Delight.

They're cube. They're quite cute.

Got the liquorice cubes, which are for no one.

They sound pugey are and.

Always got the multi colored thing. They've got the pink and the purple or whatever. It is no good.

The very old people.

Yeah, it's very much. You know, I've just seen my great grandmother and she's on the way out, but she gave me this before she died.

Yeah, I can't believe. I was like kind of shitting on Mons. Is it just you? But I've got so much to say about you. That's now that I'm thinking about it. We should have gone a top five the top five.

Cubes dice, Yes, yes, yes, a Rubik's Cube absolutely, the Nissan Cube, yes, which are fucking hidious?

Have you've been the Oh my god, they're the most putrid cars ever. I'll google it. On it.

And I always wanted to drive a cube. It's great.

If you can't find a car park, you just put it in your pocket. Here, look, nissing cube. Isn't that vile?

Almost?

And also I hate to be.

That guy, but it's actually not a cube. It's a rectangular prison for facta with.

A bonnet as well.

They should have committed what's kind of like Brum had some kind of horrible ancestual moment.

My god, Brum went in the crush.

What about sugar cubes? They were sort of outlawed because they were unhygienic.

Yes, I just think of horses, you know in the Saddle Club that give them sugar cubes.

I remember watching Saddle Club, but I don't have that many vivid memories of it.

I've got to tell you.

There's something got to be very satisfying, though it's only it's only ever happened to be once or twice. I stayed in a real bougie hotel, kind of like an old world thing. They bring out a little cup of sugar cubes and the little tongues and you pop that in your teeth.

Oh, the tongue. See that makes sense.

Yes, we'll think of all the trees that are being murdered for the paper in the sugar sachet's instead of just the cube.

Exactly right.

The only time I've used sugar.

Cubes is like making absence, you know how you set it on fire on top of the absence and then you drop it in or something like that.

I think we all should appreciate cubes more.

Yeah.

Yeah, I really think we've milked these, haven't we.

We didn't even think of the top five cubes.

The sugar cube, the Rubik's Cube, the dice, the Nissen cube.

We've only got four? Come on, one more cube?

Cube cubes, tubes, cube a cube?

Well there really aren't many.

Yeah, nobe, we've really winched the whole cube thing, haven't we.

Cue No, I will not. I refuse to move on until we name it fifty.

No, I need another cube.

So someone that's listening to this podcast that is just like a real cube lover, that's just like, how very dare you? You only got four?

They're yelling at the podcast like they've got one on their mind, just yelling it. Okay, it's come to these.

I'm googling right, Yeah, No, I need to know cube.

Things that are cube shaped things.

That cube ice cube ice cube is good?

Yeah, fuck, they're iconic.

And what kind of dog doesn't actually refill the ice cube tray after empty?

No, you have to low lives, absolutely low lives.

Also side note, can we talk about the giant ice cube thing that you can get from kmart? What have you seen these where it's just like it's it's a normal ice cube, like philly uppy thingy that's made out of silico, but they're massive.

Oh yeah, they're the ones I've got.

Oh yeah, so good.

Really sorry that drink bottle was open when I started shaking up to demonstrate that I've got me fat ice.

Cubes in here.

One of my favorite things. If you go somewhere that's very very uppity, they'll bring out like a drink or a whiskey or something like that and it's got an ice cube in that that's got the branding of whatever place that you're in, So you just have to name in a restaurant on the cube. And I'm like, oh, that's just that. It's a little touches. It's the little things.

Oh my god, we're getting Is it just me ice pa track?

Yes, I insist. I insist that can be Mon's prize. Make sure you hit up Jennifer your prize Mon as well at a couple of minutes on Instagram. Right now, let's have a quickie, darling, just a quick hit of celeb entertainment news. Obviously, something near and dear to my clip is that Kath and Kim the revival the twenty years specially we've had our first look at that.

It looks amazing.

Yeah.

I was actually pleasantly surprised at what I saw because I thought, and I've gone on records saying, nah, the characters, those actors can't revive those characters because they're too old, like they're up.

In their sixties. Now I think Jenna google that.

Yeah, I don't want to besmirch them, but I thought they'd be way too old, and particularly Gena.

Riley is Kim.

Yeah, I was blown away at how young she managed to look, because Kim's meant to be twenty five and this woman is how old Jenna.

Gena Riley is sixty one.

Jesus, there we go, and they don't look that different. They look a bit tired around the eyes, but that's it. I did notice that Kim had a giant parasion he's on and I thought that was quite clever. Yeah, just trying to disguise the fact that she's aged somewhat. But I don't know what the actual reunion's going to be yet because they've obviously shot news, which is nice. And by the way, I saw all the comments were saying, oh, I thought the house was demolished. Where do they film this?

Sam? Can you back me up and say that it's clearly green screened?

Oh?

Yeah, have you seen the sneak peak?

And it's also done. It's not done badly, but it's not done well.

It's just done badly enough that I can tell it's green screen I'll play the little sneak peak for you. Obviously you can't see it now, but just fucking gurgle it or something.

But here it is the event that happens once in a lifetime. I have news. So Kath and Kim twenty years celebration, Hello Christmas.

Don't you two look? Flies have done.

Yep, we're officially stanky rich.

They've got money to burn and are ready to live.

The high life.

It's unusual.

It's gone you special event.

Kath and Kim, our refluent life coming to seven and seven plus just surreal.

See green screen right, And I was a bit surprised that these my effluent life specialist coming to Channel seven because I really thought they could easily pull the Netflix deal out of that.

Yeah.

Yeah, Like, Kathinkim's on Netflix.

Now, and you will not believe how alive and thriving the Kath and Kim fan base is.

You guys in the Facebook group?

Yes, no, Oh, it's the best group there.

It's to Kath and Kim Appreciation Society, and it's always popping off at any hour of the day. And I think it's because it's on Netflix now that they've had a resurgence.

Ye, so that's good. I like that.

Yeah.

Like when I was in school when it was actually on television, I was that fucking weird kid that watched kathin Kim and had no one to talk to about.

See nobody, nobody even knew what.

It was, No one understood the references, no, when it was actually on air. But now it's had a resurgence twenty years later, and I have a feeling that this my affluent life special they're doing. There'll be like new scenes like that, new bits and pieces, but it's obviously not going to be a new episode.

No guarantee they're gonna do like a cold open or something. Well, they'll come in, they'll do a scene, and then the rest of it will be like Friends, where they sit around and go Now, I remember twenty years ago when we first started. It'll be that for forty more minutes.

I don't reckon it'll leave me that. I reckon it'll be like a twenty to one.

Yeah, and they'll introduce each grab as characters in character I should say, Yeah.

They'll be like, oh, Kim, remember when we went to the high coolam throw to that?

How grim?

Yeah?

I do think that it could have been done much better. I reckon it should have been on a friend's reunion scale. But you know, apparently kathin Kim isn't quite as successful as Friends, which I think, you know, do your own research.

That can't be right.

That gave James Cordon bring him, Mitch Stury do a whole thing.

There's no way.

Do you know how much I would be furious if he were toasting the Kath and Kim reunion because.

He's never even watched it.

Yeah, he told me.

Recently that he's watched a episode an.

Episode that's no, that's not a fine.

No, no way, I'd be fuming.

You think James Corden has watched a single episode of Friends?

Oh god, yeah, he's a loser. Of course he has. He's pathetic.

I actually don't hate James Corden. It's just fun to get on the bandwagon. Yeah, it's James Corden New nickelback where it's like he's not even bad, it's just it's culturally normal to bag him out.

Yeah, it's not that, because he's actually insanely talented. Like the fact that you know he was in.

Cats, don't bring that up.

No, I think it was Cats. It was the whole thing about the targetting toe for Carple karaoke. People just hated him for that, the fact he's in everything for some reason. Yeah, I get it. But I like him and the shop.

Yeah yeah, but no, I wouldn't be bringing up the Cats thing. If I were him, I'd strike that from the resume.

Everyone in CA.

It's like it's like Kyle and Jackie.

Are hosting Big Brother. Let's just not talk about it. We'll pretend that never happened. And also, this is not so much celeb news. But it's more like a homegrown star if you like. We're all familiar with Alan Sabula, aren't we.

Oh yeah, Alan, I'm surprised you are. Sam.

Actually yeah, I'm not. You know, no, I just went with it.

Oh okay, great.

Well he's one of those people where if you don't know him by name, like guaranteed you would have seen one of his videos from years ago.

Though, let me google him.

You'll know his face.

All okay, T s I b U l y A Sibilia, you'll know him. He does videos like this.

So this is rich kids of Sydney.

I actually live in belvy Hill, so I guess you can call me a bellvy Hill beauty. Well, my parents call me. Well you know what they say, if you live in Double Bay, you're probably getting double the pay. So yeah, my dad's definitely getting that. I've actually been to the Western Suburbs I think about once. Yeah, because it was such a long way way, I think I must have thought I was in Hunter Valley, which the

Yeah, so that's the Island Sibilia that we all would be familiar with. I'm sure give him at Google, you'll recognize the face.

So he was like huge.

He was always making viral videos all over your news feeds constantly. And then what would you say, Jenna, that was like twenty sixteen, twenty seventeen. Yep, I think twenty eighteen two.

Maybe prime was probably twenty seventeen.

Yeah, I'd say so.

And so Jenna and I actually used to work with him, and so, you know, he'd come to team drinks and stuff.

He was one of our colleagues.

But then outside of that, he was also making all his own videos, and he was also doing a.

Law degree at the time.

He was at university too.

Yeah, and then he just vanished.

See that's why I was like, I couldn't place him because it's been years. It has any of that.

It has been years, and you know, we all have creative slumps. I can go a month or two without posting much. But he literally vanished. And it got to the point where we were actually a little bit concerned and very good because yeah, he used to be a colleague of mine and Jenna's.

I was like, I've got his number, I'll give him a ring.

This number has been disconnected and I was like, oh, and so I messaged him on Facebook just being like, oh hi, old friend house things, nothing, And that was like twenty nineteen.

I think, did he just go on sabbatical to KOI sure some thing and just decided he was going to become a hermit.

I don't know. I really don't know.

And then he did post a couple of bits and pieces on Instagram in twenty twenty. Yeah, like he posted one video and then he did that blackout tile thing that everyone was posting.

Yep, that was his last post. Yeah, long time.

And so he went most of twenty twenty, all of twenty twenty one, and then up until literally last week most of twenty twenty two not posting a thing.

See all of that kind of gives me kidnapped by the cartel kind of vice.

Seriously, I'm not kidding. But we were concerned because Mitch and I we were gonna call him on the podcast because at this point I hadn't realized his number was his connected. We were going to call him on the podcast and just be like, Alan.

Where have you been, how are you? What are you up to?

Just doing a little, you know, check in, And I thought, I won't call him out of the blue. I'll check with one of our friends, one of our mutual friends, who's a bit closer to Alan than I ever was, And so I said to her, Oh, we're thinking of calling him, and she said, no, babe, don't do it.

Don't do it. It's too tough. You just don't go there.

And I was like, what the fuck's happenings? Even worse, I was like, is he in prison? Where he is Alan behind buzz? Because I also thought, oh, maybe because he's studying to be a lawyer, maybe he burnt out, or maybe he finished the degree and he's now trying to be taken seriously as a lawyer.

He can't be posting bullshit on the internet. But in that case, he probably would have wiped.

His history exactly. And so basically it was his big mystery whatever happened to Alan Sabula? And I was chatting with a friend about it, one of the girls we used to work with, Jenna, and I was like, his numbers is connected, He's not chatting on Facebook. The only communication that's left is the email address in his Instagram bio, And so we were like, let's do it, Let's email him. So I sent an email and I said, Hi, old friend, just checking in. Haven't heard from you in a while,

Will you help me shoot it?

And I was like, he may have ghosted me, but I have a feeling that it was my beautiful, kind, encouraging words that lulled him out of this.

Deep creative flump.

He changed his life.

So I'm taking full credit. I'm taking full credit.

And this was a month or so ago, and then last week finally the musical comedy skit arrived.

It was literally a music video.

The song's on Spotify too, and it's called why did You Want Follow?

Here's a little listen.

Stories. Yep.

So that's his his comeback, and you will have me to thank because, like I said, my beautiful email checking in with him obviously inspired him to start creating again.

Yeah.

No, absolutely, thank you, No, you're welcome.

Absolutely.

It was so funny though, because like after being essentially missing, he was missing.

All the comments on.

That video were saying, Alan, I'm so glad that you're posting again because you don't know how many times I've actually googled if you died.

Yeah, like, because he just there was no sign of life.

Even if you're not making videos anymore, you think you might get the occasional Instagram story or something. And so yeah, he just vanished, and thank god the mystery solved. Alan's back, He's alive, he's not in prison anymore. I still don't know what happened there. But if you've come back from like a two or three year blackout, wouldn't you do like a where I've been explanatd No, that will much.

Where's the hour and twenty minutes YouTube video about where I've been?

And he was like something I would watch every second of that. Yeah, I want an expose a on where Alan sen.

We should go full fucking tire Brown on this. So one of these got the same A dreads because I've been to his house. We would just rock up and go, what do you have to say?

We do a press conference right out of the front of his bloody Bondie home. I was talking to a right hey about it too, and he goes, can you imagine how dramatic might.

Comeback would be if I've gone three years without post thing, And I'm like, oh my god, that's so true. He would never just post the video and not acknowledge the fact that he's been missing.

Oh my god, I need that expose.

Yeah, an expose. I don't want to pry into Alan's business, but I am very curious.

It's not information. I want to know what the past few years have been.

But because you don't, what you don't want it to be, though, is you go really deep dive and you find out that's something really kind of a bit like something you don't want to find out. What I want is for him to say, oh, yeah, no, I just decided that I was just going to throw my life away and just live in the Hamptons for the last five years with no phone or internet.

I'd be like, oh, well, okay, maybe he turned to the church.

Yes, yes, well I've become a scientologist. You're like, oh, I think so much.

No, Look, I am curious, but at the end of the day, it's none of my business. All we know is that Alan's alive and well and we're glad for that.

He's back, Darlin, he's back.

Is it just me listening on Spotify? Don't forget to leave a five? Start eating you're listening.

To Is it just to me?

Now?

You might remember last week on the podcast, we were talking about the fact that Nicki Minaja's fans keeps selling her shit on eBay. They found like a lost nail of hers and they found someone pulled a strand of hair out of her wig popped it on eBay.

The nail went for fifty five grand.

That's ridiculous.

People just kept bidding and bidding and bidding, and it went for fifty five grand. The strand of hair not quite that much, but still nineteen thousand. It's million dollars is a lot for a strand of hair. And Chery decided that he would try and see if our fans are just as passionate and would buy a random shit from us. So we were celebrating the three year anniversary last week. We popped some champagne. We signed the cork

She won the used wine cork. Her name's Kristen. Hello, dune Well, christ morel Cherry Goods.

Thank you.

Now. The first obvious question is what were you thinking?

I don't know. All I know is that I wanted it.

You did, and you got it, darling. So drum roll, let's reveal the total amount that it went for.

Did it quite reach the.

Fifty five brand that Nuki minaj fans are willing to pay? What did you pay, Kristin?

I paid sixty seven dollars?

Oh my god, actually to be fair, way more than I thought it would go for.

Right, me too.

I thought someone in the Facebook group say, I wish it went for sixty nine.

That'd be like, oh, you couldn't chuck us two bucks, Kristen. For God's sake, I know it.

Someone kept out bidding me and I, oh.

Yeah, So at what point did you enter the bidding war? Like, what was your first bid?

It was certainly twenty dollars or something.

Okay, yeah, see that seems like an appropriate amount.

Yeah, And then it went just like crazy, And then I said I'm not going to go anything more than fifty five dollars.

Your bloody did.

You had to?

And I did.

You're a competitive bitch, I can tell.

I thought, I've come this far, I need to win this.

What do you do for work? Can I ask? Oh?

I work in healthcare?

Oh so you've got money to burn? Is that right?

Oh?

Not quite? Not quite?

Clearly you do.

Well.

Look, obviously you've paid sixty seven dollars, which for a used winecock seems a bit absurd, and so we were like, oh, we can't accept that money.

It was Cherry's idea.

He said, let's ask Kristen to pick a charity and we'll donate that sixty seven dollars rather than taking it ourselves.

Because it's just a used winecork. It would have gone in the bin. You know it, feel the.

Bad profiting from that absolute So have you got a charity of mind?

I would love to peak share the dignity.

Share the dignity, Okay, tell us about them.

They're the ones that collect the sanitary products for women.

It's fantastic.

Yeah, And I just think no one should ever have to go without necessities. So they hanged them out to women that are in maybe homeless situations, domestic balanced situations. I know they've set up things in high schools so school kids can get free products.

Okay, we love that.

Well, you know, well, because we're not singy either, we might just round it up to a cheeky hundred for Share of the Dignity Kristin, how do you find not?

Yeah? I think that's a great I love it.

What are you going to do with this bloody cork? By the way, I don't even know.

Put it in pride of place somewhere.

Yeah, have you've got have you got a pool room? Obviously it'll go with all your other prized possessions.

Exactly, exactly.

Have you got any of our other merch like our mugs and stuff?

No prize, keep it, Jennis, send one Christen's way please, she can put the cork in the mug together. Thank you, absolutely lovely, Kristin, You're absolutely gorgeous.

Thanks for buying it, no problem, and thanks for listening.

Darling.

We love you.

Thank you.

How good is she got're reading? What Shared the Dignity do? This is actually amazing. They've voluntary've sent over nearly one hundred and sixty thousand period products to remote indigenous communities, they set up vending machines. They do have got over six thousand people volunteering, and people donate period products to them as well. Okay, this is amazing. Three point eight million period products have been donated to them by other people.

Oh that's amazing.

Oh that's gorgeous. What's the website?

Maybe any idiot's listening might like to donate some period products as well.

You can go to share the dignity dot org dot au and register today. And they've got a whole October Move for Dignity thing that they're doing as well, So go and check that out.

Oh cool.

Yeah, and as someone with zero dignity yourself, Sam, this must be really enlightened.

Well I need someone to share something with me at this point.

All right, we better get out of here, Arlen's but thanks for listening to another episode?

Is it just me? I'm sure Cherry will be back next week. If not, I guess.

It's be dead Thanky, But have to be dead not to show up here exactly?

How do you think Sam's first? Is it just me? Went Jenna?

I'm so proud of you. Yeah, you did so well.

Well, I mean, to be fair, I'm a little bit sore afterwards, but it's fine.

That's normal. Second time round, you'll do so much better.

You'll be walking funny for the next to Ay. Just me, what are you laughing at? Jenny? Anyway, don't forget to hit up at couple of mitches if you've got an is it just me of your own? And those mugs that I mentioned, they're sil for sale, So once you're on tour Instagram, just head to the link in our bio to buy yourself one of those mugs. We're going to be shutting down that mug staw soon, so get them while you're ken Darling's.

Otherwise you will catch you next week. Idiots, see you soon.

Bye. Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to add brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, we pretend the show is done. Keep talking ship. This bit is not planned structured. Oh god, you guys must be tired. You haven't napped this whole time. Sam, do you want to go nine eyes?

No?

I need to. I'm having this moment where I've just if every two minutes I'm in flux. So I've got I've got me red Bull that has hit me to like a nice high, and then I'll immediately crash into just this little I can actually.

See you've still got the shakes a little bit.

I'm fine, I'm so fine. What are you talking about?

I feel like, because you're such an old school radio guy, you're in this this habit. When there's a mic in front of you, you think you have to be animated. I don't subscribe to that, So just relax. I can see your shoulders are tense.

Like this.

I'm always this tense. This is who I am.

I should have brought my vibrator.

Okay, not sexual one. I've got one of those back massages.

Oh they're so good.

Yeah, I lost it. I was.

I was handing it round when Sam was at my place the other night. I was handing it around to everyone there like it was a bong, pass the vibrator, the massage that everyone's having a whirl of their shoulders. And then it went missing, and I was like, who fucking flogged my shoulder vibrator?

Mean to return?

So he's come back.

Yeah, I got to be honest. I've not used it for my shoulders at any point.

Oh, for God's sake.

Well, it's what I'm saying single on the podcast. I need something and he's no divergent.

So there's that. Oh yes, he's experienced, ladies.

Congratulations on that.

So I didn't hear what you said, because can you repeat that?

I said? What did I say? I'm glad that it was a precious memory for you.

Got to What did I say?

Oh my god, my covid fog, my covid fog.

What did I have to say?

Something about Sam being beautiful?

I said, he's no longer a virgin?

Yes?

Oh yeah, no, I'm very very experienced, ladies.

Yeah, well, you know, I just need a couple more goals, I guess, just a.

Yeah, level up? Have you got any other? Is it just Me's up your sleeve? You want to get off your clip? Nap? I forget I asked.

Anyway. I have to go, So goodbye.

That was so aggressive. Goodbye? Where are you off to?

I'm getting my eye brows done?

Okay, I guess that's important.

It's very important.

That's good.

Fair enough, Thank you so much, everybody. Thanks for having me.

No, thanks for doing Yeah see ya? Are you actually gonna leave?

Yeah?

Oh my God, watch this, Sam, she's just going to dither. Yeah, like she hasn't she still hasn't taken headphones off.

I'm taking my headphones off now.

Just go get the fuck out of here. You don't have to narrate the whole thing. Bye Jenna leaving now. Wait, don't forget to send Christen a prize though.

Oh yeah, of course.

Sorry, take your time, Sam, We're going to try and ignore that all these happening over there.

No, can we I don't think we're getting there. She's making it so audible. Yeah, there's a lot of possible jacket.

Yeah, oh for fuck.

My mom's like this. We've noticed that. My sister and I talk about it all the time. We're like, mom started the family. They're such ditherers.

They did that, and sometimes now that my sister's a mum, she started to do it and I'm like, you're dithering. She goes fuck sorry, Yeah, okay, bye bye Jenna, ah bye bye.

Yeah they are yeah, like you to be fair? Is it just me? Bye Jenna?

Get out anyway? It's just me?

Or do you ever have those moments where you you know that you're ready to leave, like you're done. I find this all the time at work where I'm just like I'm done. I don't need anything else. I'm just happy, like everything sorted. Yeah, but I will stay for a whole other hour just because I just the idea of having to go somewhere, get on the train, get in your car, do whatever. It is just feels like so much effort.

I'm more like that when it comes to leaving the house. Yeah, like I will do a little mental checklist. I'm like, I've got my bag, I've got my shoes on, I've got my keys. And yet for some reason, i feel like I'm not ready to leave yet. No, And I'm like I don't know what I'm I'm gonna do the fuck I did that and I end up being late and I'm like, Okay, the train's about to leave. If I leave now, I will make it. And yet I think I'll just get the next one. No, I give myself a bit of dinner time.

See, I can't give myself options. I have to leave it to the absolute last second. Otherwise, yeah, nothing's going to happen.

No.

I hate doing that.

Yeah, Although having said that, it is an ADHD thing where it's like, if it's urgent, I can get it done, I'll nail it.

But being prepared.

Oh yeah, no, I'm exactly the same.

Do you know how unprepared I was the first time I did my stand up comedy shows. I left it until like the month after even start riding the basket. Yeah, it was so good in Brisbane that it was the first time I've been off book.

Oh yeah, I didn't have to check my notes once. Let us remembered it.

Oh, look at you go, which is like I.

Shouldn't be applauded. That's what I should be able to do from the get go. But I have a little color coated cheat sheet on the stage. I didn't have to look at it once.

That was good.

Yeah, No, it's it's I'm probably not as subtle as I think I am looking at it. I always go over for a glass of wine and I'm just like, I'm like, haven't got my fucking glasses on.

So that's where you got to print it in like an a like like an a one sheet. I know that just taped to the floor.

But that's super obvious. No.

I always enjoy it when I see a band and have just got their lyrics just taped to the entire the entire level of the floor. Yeah, a song and giant von.

I went and saw m Rasciano's comedy show recently, and she did not even try and hide the fact that she was referring to notes because she had them sicky taped at the front of the stage and I was up high so I could see the notes, and she would just openly say, hang, I'll wear my up to and she'd like look at it, and she'd kind of make it part of the act.

And I was like, maybe I should do that.

Just instead of like trying to be subtle and like yeah, I'm winging it, just be open and be like, oh fuck, wear them up to.

I like the fact that Am has become a bit of an advocate radio.

Definitely it's good.

I'd mind that about her.

Yeah, for sure.

There's a few people me and Freedman as well. She's like a late in life diagnosis. And I feel like I'm lucky because I got in in twenty fifteen and got diagnosed. And I feel like I don't want to say the word trend, but I feel like now it's more common and spoken about, and it's probably something people consider more. Maybe I'm made HD because apparently the process of getting diagnosed now is very lengthy.

Oh I got it done in a few weeks.

No, no, no, I'm just starting my diagnosis journey. And as ah, yeah, yeah, and it's because of you there you go. Yeah, as soon as we've started talking about it more, I've gone oh shit. And then I talked to a bunch of more of my friends were all starting to just as soon as became more talked about. And also the symptoms you know that you exhibit are not just oh I'm a bit kookie. It's like, no, no, there's a whole thing here.

Yeah.

Now I spotted in you for the moment I met you. No, yeah, I was like, oh, look at him over there, fuckinghigh focusing.

I remember once we were working together on Colin Jackie O and my full on mania kicked in and that was a that was a whole thing.

And I know how to handle people when they're in mania.

It is good when you're hyper fixating to have someone around to be like you can cut that corner.

It's like I will, I will.

Fucking nitpick and like really really that no one will thank me for it, Like all the nitpicking I do when it comes to like editing or whatever.

So yeah, also speaking of leaving things for the absolute last minute. So I'm getting my hair done today.

Oh, are you getting a perm do?

Yeah, a little bit of just a little bit of a fritz in the color.

For those who don't know, Sam has got Jesus like hair.

Yeah, I think I've me one. This is the thing I've noticed that people on the the fucking long hair.

You're getting the ADHD. You're just trying to be me, aren't you. You're going brunette, for fuck's sake, and you're gonna put on a few kilos.

You're gonna be me. You're getting a lisp like.

No, But to be fair, when I met you, I did have short hair.

It was much shorter than it is now. You've actually outgrown me.

Yeah, fucking I warned you at one point. I was like, no, I'm going for But also this is like, this is a whole COVID thing because I remember people saying, you know, on the Indian Idiots group, Oh, I didn't expect them to look like a woodstock hippie, which I do. Yeah, but I'm trying to figure out whether I cut it off or whether I go short and.

By When you say cut it all off, do you mean like buzz cut?

No? Oh god no?

And short? Do you mean still long? But not as long as it is?

It sounds like a little bit more male. To be fair, like, I just I want to go for like, you know, I don't know, more top heavy, that kind of thing. This is all very visual.

Yeah, do you want to look less like a woman? Just thinking? You know you don't look like one at all?

Yeah, But to be fair, I'm making this decision when my appointment is in twenty minutes.

Oh okay, so are you going to be late?

Yeah, so I'm gonna have to go in a minute.

But are you ditching me too? What you were ditching me too? Yeah?

Well I don't want to, but we've kind of just been saying you've just been sitting here having a yarn.

All right, Well, don't let me fucking hold you up.

A decision first? Do I go shorter? Do I not?

Yeah, a bit shorter, but don't go like Lord farkward short. Yeah, it has to be like past the chin at least.

Yeah. I don't want like a bob. Yeah yeah, alright.

Alright, well decision mane Okay, I'll do that. All right, Well, i'll see you next week. Maybe yes, you've got a girlfriend by then, in which case you don't need.

Us hit me up. If you're on tender, just drop drop dropping yourself near the Kiss studio, my god, more often than not. Yeah, go to the passport mode.

Just do that.

I basically live here.

So yeah, all right, well turtles, I'm just leave. It's fine.

I can't believe this, so yeah, babe, Oh, I can't believe this. Mitchar's left me, Jennet's left me. Now Sam, for the first time in history, it is just me. We hope this podcast made you feel at least three percent better today.

I suppose.

Hate to cut it short, but yeah, I don't know how I'm going to have a conversation with myself. I don't know how solo podcast hosts do that.

Oh ba, maas sill, I'm podcasting, Oh ba myself. God.

You know when you think in your head that you can sing, but I've got headphones on and I'm hearing it back.

That was no good.

Hey anyway, thanks for I'm glad that you stuck with me. Dear listener, I'm glad that you haven't abandoned me. Sis you and I and hopefully you'll be able to join us again next week. We love you.

Hit us up by a couple of mitches anytime you want to chatter Cake. Catch you next week. Bbie is It Just Me?

A podcast by a couple of Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.