#117: BEEEEEP

People do some weird shit.

Would you like to try vape?

Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive?

I think that people.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No, you know. I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spood, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of a hole.

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults food.

Being fingered as an awful sensation.

You haven't been thinking about the right person.

Goodness. May is.

Just still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season.

Sorry.

Now he is Mitch Trulli and Mitchell Koo.

Here you go bite here and his time Mitchell kok Welcome back, Darland. So it's so good to be here. Thank you the adoration. I'm here.

Okay, show me one message?

I got a few? Actually, is it probably says a lot about me that people thought I was ill. So many people get.

Better, I know because there was there were two factors, the fact that you weren't on the episode last week and we didn't do an Instagram live. People like there must be something seriously wrong.

What did you say? What was your excuse for me?

I just said, Mitch is the way this week, and that's.

Brave, very brave. What do you mean, just bridges? It's a nice thing.

Do you want me to tell them why you're away?

I know, no, thank you, I'd appreciate it, not but I'm back.

It's good to be here, price keeper, Jenna. Our third wheel is a course on board.

The Usual Eye, Jenna. Great to have you here too, Jenna.

Can I tell you, Jenna? I'll save it for later, But I had a dream about you last night. Oh yeah, you didn't do anything embarrassing. Don't worry. Okay, you come off quite good in the dream.

Was it one of your wet dreams? We know you have them every second week? You do you slip inside through that bet of yours? Can you not, Jenner? Imagine this is I'm sorry, but you have I've never had one, and you have a dozen of them.

Oh, I don't have a dozen a year. But actually I think the one I spoke about on the podcast would have been the most recent I haven't had.

My sins was that this year?

Yeah, this year probably. But the reason I brought it up is because it was a dry dream. It's like I had a dream that I had a wet dream and I woke up going, oh, there's going to be a mess, and there wasn't, and I was like, thank.

God, isn't that sad? You have wet dreams? And I just have dreams that I've pissed myself. I have them all the time. My wet dreams are just me winging.

I wonder if this is something I should bring up with Patrick the therapist. But I often have recurring dreams about just tripping and smacking all my teeth out.

Oh I know why this is really. On my radio show, I do dream decoding with Georgina Walker, who I think would be a good guest for this show. We should get GJ.

Maybe I should give her a ring?

Do you want to ring? Gg?

What?

Now?

Well? She gets very put off. She likes to be paid, she doesn't like she doesn't do free pro bono.

Work fair enough, Okay, we'll forget about it.

We can set it up. I'm going to a seven.

You can just tell me now you're about to tell me what the meaning was.

Anything to do with losing teeth We've done dream decoding on my show for a year is anxiety. It's anxiety, yeah, yeah.

But like losing teeth in any way, shape or form, because mine is specifically tripping and just smacking them on different places that knock them all out, like the corner of the bench or a rock or maybe like the bathroom is sink. It happens not all the time, but at least a couple of times a month.

That's that's an awful dream to have. You kind of jolt in that dream. Don't you like that you feel the pain?

Don't feel the pain, but I just can you imagine it? Like, logistically, what do you do from there? I've got no teeth.

Even would be like, I'm fucked. I don't know what to do.

Even the dentists would be like, okay, I can fit you in a month, and then what do you do in the meantime? Yeah, it's more just the admint that I'm scared of.

Oh, God, that'd be dn't you have to get an orthodontist.

Yeah, what's the difference.

They do wires and things, braces and you.

Have to go to a periodist that I went to.

Just don't make words implants.

Well, we can talk to Georgina off the air, but yeah.

No, I have I know all I need to know Nowah, apparently we haven't been feeling anxious recently.

Interesting but not interest right, Well, it's great to be back. The show is back, and we've got an announcement obviously. You know, if you follow us on Instagram, a couple of mitches that were's some new merch around But that's yes.

Linking Viio the new merch. And I will just say this straight off the bat. We're running the show this time. So if you bought something from our most recent summer merch job and you were one of the people that was complaining to us, why is this taken forever? Don't worry. We've sacked those dogs. We're just running the show ourselves.

You should have seen Mitchell fire them, Jenna. It was which it was. It was actually kind of a turn on. They cried the words that he brought up.

Well, it was supposed to be fucking summer merch and they didn't even send it out until it was bloody stone cold out there.

I know they're like, it'd be nine to twelve weeks. There's three seasons in nine to twelve weeks anyway, I don't know. But a new merge which we're handling ourselves, so you'll get it and what details on that to come? Yeah, or if it's your first time listening it is it just me every week Mitch and I bring in Is it just me and ijem as we like to call them, Something we've noticed, something we have or appreciate. Mine is something that I think is going to make a comeback,

The Nintendo DS Chat, can I just say pickto chat was great for a sleepover, but you had to be within three meters of the person for the message to sound. It really was pointless and it took for ever to type.

Oh oh, the little words was so small. Yeah, And I would do that the dip of my dearth stylust, so it would I think I'd pick my teeth with it and it wou wouldn't type on it and my screen was all scratched.

I've become addicted to picking my teeth, by the way, Is it just me on the flying Oh my god, I do it too. Have you got those little Christmas tree things them?

What size are you?

I don't know the pictures.

Yeah, you've got to pick your size like zero, one, zero, two zero.

I went up to one because there wasn't much of a gap between my teeth for a while. But I've gone up to a one from a zero.

Oh my god. I remember I got the one that was too big for ages because I'm an idiot. I don't read, and I was like jamming it in. There was blood. God, my dead to be proud of me, Like no, it just was shoving a fucking eat him on the fire flight tooth talk, it is just guess what I went to my dentist. Guys, I don't know if you've noticed, but I am developing a midlife tooth gap show in between the two front teeth.

Oh.

I can breathe through it.

That's weird.

I can also spray water through it, suld I spray.

Yeah, I thought you how to do it at me. Just don't get it on the radio PI.

MacBook.

Yeah, pop Jackie Nort's jacket over it. There isn't that powerful everywhere? That stream was quite ferocious.

It's like Mitchell right before he doves off to sleep.

I shouldn't expect it to be that powerful.

Sorry, your part of my part and gotta cut downstairs too.

Am I going first? But these it just me?

You can go first?

All right, let's go Bradley, Thank you Darling?

Is it just me?

Does focus music piss you off?

A focus or in general music that's meant to make?

Oh, just anything like you know how you look up on YouTube focused music or I looked it up on Spotify today because I was trying to get quite a few things done before I came to the studio and I was like, right, focus Mitchell, and I put it on and I was like, this is just annoying. This isn't helping me focus one bit.

Well, it depends because sometimes that people need different types of music like pump up? Do you need zen? What kind of I don't know.

I just clicked the first thing that came up when I searched focus music, and it was the supporter with me. Does it not fucking RCU. It's a bit grim, isn't it.

I still listen to this when I was in you twelve.

You know this track? Yep. Now, this to me is Betty Davis was killed? Who killed her? We still don't know. He's twelve pound investigative serious, it's.

My imagination started to wander. Wasn't helping with the focus. I was literally in my head picturing like they've spent the whole episode looking for this missing girl, and then this is the music they play when someone walks in and goes detectives. We found a body, and then it like cuts to them at the park. They lift up the tarp that's Siena, that's her, and then go to app break. That's what this music is. And I was like, I'm supposed to be focusing, and that's what's going through my head.

Maybe that's just a thing. I don't know if that's everyone does.

Yah.

I just find that like music, it makes me feel things. So I need something that I'm just not thinking at all. Have you heard of brown noise? I beg your pardon brown noise?

No?

What's brown noise?

I really don't know. I saw something on TikTok apparently it's good for ADHD similar Yeah, actually yeah, just go on YouTube and look up brown noise. I'm sure it's there. Talk about that haunting, right, it's not fucking relaxing or focusing at all.

All right, let me have a look.

So brown noise, from what I can gather, white noise is like it chills you out. That's good for going to sleep. But then brown noise is kind of meant to make.

You switch on? Is that true?

I think I don't google it?

Okay, here we go. So this is brown noise?

Can Oh it's like a plane. Yeah.

Oh, now you've said that I won't be able to done here.

Oh it sounds like we're just in a wind tunnel.

Hang on, this is this is interesting. I just tried to google the difference between white noise and brown noise, and the top search is white noise versus pink noise. What the pink noise?

Because hold on, can we just all agree brown noise isn't doing it for me?

Oh maybe it is an eighty HD thing because it helped me.

Let me try pink noise.

Yeah, look up pink noise. I've never heard of that, ship I know white noise is what my sister uses to put in the background when just putting the kids to sleep. Brown noise is what I used to focus.

Isn't this weird? I've just googled pink noise.

So this is.

Sorry, I'm focused.

I'm not.

Oh, it just makes me like because I'm an MP. I just think of the times I've been scorned by my non existent X.

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck, then you'll get ten hours of pink noise. Here we go.

Oh oh, I.

Don't like that. I know TV static.

That's like the studio is malfunctioning.

Hold on, we'll give it a second. Now, I feel like a seashell all.

You put the shell up to here, you can hear the ocean.

I used to believe that, by the way, I used to go, okay.

Alright, I was. I was onto it. Even as a child. I was like, fuck up, that sounds nothing like the ocean.

You would be too practical for that ship.

But no, it didn't sound anything like the ocean.

Give me a random color, mich I'm just going to see if it exists throughly and.

Thrulyian noise.

No, it doesn't exist, damn it.

What about magenta magenta noise?

Magenta oh it exists?

Wow?

Oh this is the caption. Is magenta noise the new pink noise? Wow? Alright, let's go.

No, that's worse.

I just allowed a beach just further into the sea the tides come in. Yeah, you know what, hayd and I listen to to get to sleep. This every night, every single night?

Does that help?

Puts me to bed like a baby? I'm out like a lie.

Really, I don't mind having my my air purify on that puts me to sleep. Just a bit of white noise, funnily enough?

Yeah, white noise? Interesting?

What about can you look up spiced nutmeg noise? That's a nice color. Yeah, hog's bristle half noise?

No, no, don't come up, doesn't exist? Damn it anyway.

Focus music's bullshit. Get around the brown noise? Yeah, I'm into it.

Could we create our own noise? Like what if I you? Can you loop this? Mitchell? Just me exhaling and this could begem noise? Go, wow, that could be relaxing. Just so okay, that sounded like those little cherubs that they pull out of the bush and Harry.

Potter the man drags anyway, are you going to do your youth it to me or what?

Oh yeah, sorry, I'm ready here, we got Brady, come in, bitch?

Is it just me?

Is it time for the voicemail to make its comeback?

No? Oh no no? Why why as in leaving them.

Leaving, receiving, sending, listening, keeping, cherishing.

Record are in there? All of mine get kept now because you know how, I think it depends on what type of ife on you use. But instead of calling the number and they read the voicemail to you, you know how, it's like received fifteen, they just kind of send them like voice memos.

Now, yes, that's what, that's what. That's my point.

Why can't I get thought?

What's I've got? That's what I've got? Gods, don't worry and bringing it. I got, I got the yes, so I for years was with Optist Jenna, who you with Telstra? Okay, Optus do not allow the voice message style voicemail system on your iPhone?

I think they do allow because I'm on upto what that shit? Read it?

And wait, bitch, well but you only just got that, like you said, right.

Yeah it was only the three then update like when I got this phone.

Yes, okay, So here's the.

Thing because moment's just like this cool voicemail.

Oh yeah, yeah, read it to you.

Because here's the thing that I've got no time for one to three, Fuck her right off. But what I have time for is voice messages because we send voice messages twenty four to seven.

I'm sending like voice messages to people in the chat. But I don't want them to leave me a fucking voicemail. I don't think I even have a greeting on there?

Can I just say, there's nothing better than screening a call and getting a voicemail and knowing instantly who it is. Because there's nothing worse than getting a call and they don't leave a voicemail. You go, oh, who is it? Oh? I'll never know the mystery because I don't want to call them bag yeah I.

Voice yeah, and that never really works.

I've been on who Called Me? Dot com?

Is that a thing?

Yeah?

What happens if you put your own number into who Called Me? To have they got you registered?

Oh?

No, try that because I don't think they'd have many people registered, would they?

No? No way. Well, you know what else is a little phone tip? If you type their mobile number into Facebook. If their mobile number is linked to their profile. Their profile comes up and you get okay, well hack everyone, here we go reverse phone look up. Oh no, there is no there's no info on this number.

Yeah.

See, I don't reckon those websites really work because I do the same thing as Jenne. I google it, being like who the fuck was that?

I'm just googling it.

It takes me a lot to actually work up the motivation to make a phone call. Yeah, that's why I prefer voice messaging. You can just do it on the go.

That's what I mean. It's time for voicemails to make their trying messages. Oh shit, okay, there.

With messages because then they can reply in their time. And also, the thing I love about it is no one interrupts me in my voice messages. Oh true, I can finish.

Yeah yeah. Oh, there's nothing worse than a phone call that you don't want to be in. Oh isn't that a hell on it?

Do you have any friends that they say anyway, I better go and then keep talking.

Yeah, I think it's you. I'm not think it's you, or I didn't want to say it.

You gotta go?

Is it just me?

That's enough of these two loo now let's hear and is it just you?

All right, it's time to hear from one of you guys. Don't forget hit up Jenna if you mentioned on the show Price Keeping Jenna, and you'll be center price. Yes being a part of the show.

We're bribing you to be. And is it just you caller or a voice message if you're a little pussy that's okay, yea callers like.

The lavitae on Instagram or lockey little pussy Beach just send a voice message, so he's lockies. Is it just me?

Is it just me? Is the like emoji the most condescending emoji ever created? Like when someone leaves like a like react, it's like I just feel like they're looking down on me and it's not a great feeling.

Ah god, that is so bang on.

Wait, I don't get it. What's the like emogi? The thumbs up?

Yeah, the thumbs up?

Oh yeah, that's county.

Or if it reacts with just the thumbs up on I message, I think, oh my god, what have I done? They're furious at me? And it is something that you would do fully aware of how it's coming across. If you're like fighting with someone and you want to end the conversation.

I was going to say, it depends on the vibe of the friendship and the previous conversation. If you thumb up someone in the middle of a fight, that is a massive fuck you.

The most traumatic part is when you accidentally push it, because on the right.

It's always there.

They're scathing.

Yeah.

I'm quite a rational person. I like to think most of the time. But when I get a thumbs up, Oh my god, I'm so offensive.

If you ever sent me a thumbs up, I would be so pissed off.

I wouldn't do that to you because if it just frightened the daylights out of you.

Oh, I wouldn't talk for it. I wouldn't honestly, I wouldn't know what to do to me. I'd freak out.

Avoid any further messages I send for fear that I'm following up on the thumbs up.

Imagine that work jargon. Hi, just following up on my previous.

Stay circling back to the thumbs up.

We really need to seize the thumbs up.

Where I was coming from when I said that.

You know what. I don't know if you know this, but here's another midch tip. On Instagram. Right, let's go, who are messaging? The person that just sent these are just you? You know how if you hold down and you can just send a little tap response, it's like an emoji. You can add your own and you can pick did you know that?

Oh I didn't know that?

Yees. So if like we want our igym reply to be the crown because all our listeners are royalty, you can add that and now every time, actually that's a lot. You have to go back an hour.

You have to look through for the crowd every time.

But it's in recent. But you can react with any emoji, which is cool kid. Yeah, because someone reacted, I was like gossiping on Instagram and someone reacted with the tea emoji, I'm like, how the fuck do they do? I watched in our YouTube tutorial.

IM sure it wouldn't be that hard to figure out. I didn't know you could do it.

You know when you watch a tutorial for one thing and then they start with like, hey, like subscribe before we get into today's video. O.

Yeah, that's so true because the thumbs up used to be something that they beg for. You'd want a thumbs up, but they haven't aged well.

No, and you know what else? I noticed on YouTube they don't have verification ticks. So now I was looking at an account. I remember thinking, oh, I don't believe you because there was no blue tick.

I haven't they just got a little black tic next to their name, do they? Yeah, you can get verified on YouTube.

Oh sorry YouTube? Of course Vidcom come two thousand and three.

No, I haven't been there.

There then frank in Frank I don't know the original she was the original flogger. Let's be real. It was a blog. It's a journal, very different to blogging. Has anyone read that book?

Of course?

We had to read it at school?

Oh? Did you?

And also I was there so I helped to.

You sharpened a pencil for it, didn't you.

I was talking to someone the other day who told me that for Year twelve English, instead of having to read fucking Shakespeare or any of that rubbish, they got to watch Titanic. What I was like, Oh my god, I would have slayed that unit. I mean, I did top English in my level, but.

I haven't met him.

I can't believe they got to watch Titanic like there, you know how they always do the major focus of Belonging or Discovery or I had belonging. Yeah, same, and there was like disaster or some shit. I can't remember.

Well, you know, I think that is though. I think that's that must have been a lower level of English, because did you have like different classes? We had about four clock standard, Advance and Extension.

Did you have to bring that up? I prefer to to say I topped English. I topped stand No I'm not talking about you.

No, no, no. Topping English in any regard is impressive and take I can imagine I did basic English and I did romula.

I Standard English was the most basic, wasn't it.

Yeah, then English is the second language.

Really, I didn't have that. I'm gonna school in the Shire. They were shocked at all, would they? What is your second language? Scream A sharkis match?

Anyway? I don't forget to hit up price. Keep it gener for your prize, Dalan. Okay, and if you want to get an visit to view on the show, you can hit us up at a couple of miches. So do you remember how not too long ago on the podcast we were talking about alpha male podcasts. I do remember that like the straight men with their problematic views on podcasts. I spotted something on Instagram and it wasn't problematic what they were saying, but I did want to

The name of the podcast, podcast but Outside.

Yeah, it's a bunch of American guys. I quite like them. Actually, they just host a podcast and they take all their equipment outdoors and every episode's in a random spot.

Oh that's quite funny.

Yeah, it's quite funny. Actually, the videos are very good. But I spotted this one and it was giving Alpha Podcast energy. Even though I don't think these guys are problematic, but I'm very keen to hear your thoughts on the subject matter. Take a listen.

Okay, this is the Alpha Podcast. Oh that's not the name of it.

That's not the name of it. That's the breed of podcast. Sorry, we're talking about down today. But this is the drama I'm meant.

Okay, Harry Potter, the Wizard shit that fish movie, right here you go, this is the show.

I was a bouncer at gay bar for a minute, and one of my mean jobs was to like literally stop people from sucking each other's ditch in the bathroom. I'll be like, hey, y'all, I'm one hundred percent oh support shock each other's digs whenever where if you want, with one fucking exception, not in my fucking style, homie, because I want to keep my job, and so, like you know, they'd be like, can.

We pop off in an alley?

I'm like, I don't give a fuck.

Do what you need to do in the bathroom with the pision and ship and ship. But like none of number three, I think they missed the point of the bleep.

I was hoping you'd notice what I noticed.

Oh. I didn't even care about the slurs. It was the missing event.

I didn't listen to what I was saying.

Just oh really, please, we're just playing the beep underneath the word fuck. That is, do you have a beep on your on your system? Over there? Can you find a beep?

It's like having the alfoil that surrounds a panadole instead of I'm fucking stupid.

Imagine have you got the beat?

Yeah?

Of course, Okay, let's try and trying this. Oh, Jenny, your dumb slut.

Miss is the point? You can't you try Jennet's reefat.

Go fuck yourself?

Oh fuck, me get fucked.

Oh god, why are we dwelling on this so much? It's so stupid.

I don't funk. You're fucking really quiet to be fucking frank, you're a can't both of you bitches. Oh and yeah, whatever they'll talk about. I mean, gays love to suck dick him. I'm sorry, suck break dick.

Why do they beat that word? Yeah?

Yeah, and I think you bleeve suck. At one point, I didn't want to be offensive, you know.

Yeah, you wouldn't want to offend the faggots you get slightly off the mark for.

Yeah, I was sorry, that's all right, that's fine, that bleep.

Imagine if you just got the beef so off the mark you fuck with. We've gotten delirious early on. It usually happens at the end of the episode that we go a bit fucked like this. I just realized that Jenna doesn't really swear. We should have milked this.

I did do it before when I told Mitch to go fuck himself.

No, you meant to do it when she's it's very hard to Jenna. Yeah, you're gonna have to conduct okay, Mitch.

Yeah you whow? She pointed after like she's got such low iron levels. I pressed the wrong button. This is nice. Wouldn't that be nicer? Do you know? What did you on the fly? Why haven't we reinvented the bleep? You seriously got you fucking that's nicer. It's like ad music.

What about instead of a beep to sense the words out? It was just someone screaming like you mean, oh my god, get see that's what I mean.

I agree that'd be better. Do you know what else? Would you? What do you? Jenna?

I agree?

What would you like to replace it with?

What are you doing?

Making you a question? Answerer?

Yeah?

Distracted?

He's padding out because he's looking for one that he's already thought of.

Oh thank you, Jenna. Now you ruined the gag. But I was gonna before gone. Or you could have a party while you mother bitch?

Actually a whistle?

You want to whistle?

Yes?

Okay? Sure, like a comical whistle? Yeah yeah, okay, So go for it. What are you going to say?

All of you dumb slots?

Actually good.

Yet? Now don't say sluts over the top. Actually just let them have its moment.

I hate all of you.

For sake.

That's good.

I really quite like that.

I think that's my face mother.

Like that.

I think we have a show bleep everywhow.

Yeah, that's a pathetic fucking noise though. That party popper sounds so depressed. All right? From now, I want to have a really shitty steam train, like a model train, like who could be king bothered?

Is it just me.

Listening on Spotify? Don't forget to leave a five star leating.

You're listening to?

Is it just me?

Al right?

I believe there's It's not really an intervention now, Mitchell, is it No, it's nothing like that.

Oh, okay, there's a team something you need to admit to the team.

Yeah.

I know that people find it boring hearing other people talk about their dreams, but this one related to you, price keeper, Jenna, And it was such an oddly specific dream that I had last night. So I had a dream that you replaced Brooklyn Ross as the newsreader for Kyl and Jakio.

Oh famed Brooklyn Ross's. He was one on one of the very early podcasts of ours, one of the first guests.

It's like episode eight or something.

I think he was our first guest. Yeah, fuck, what a.

Throwback anyway, Yeah, you replaced him as the news reader, and it was not unlike the way you are here, because he's their third wheel, you know, he's not his name's on it in the show, but he chimes in just as often as they do. And so you would do that, and you read the news bulletins so beautifully. It was like good morning, Jenna Benson, with the stories

I wonder I really would have liked to psychoanalyze that dream and work out why you had it. Maybe you need to be more authoritative and stand up for yourself in mitches. Maybe who knows.

I really think that that's one of those dreams where there's no rhyme or reason and just do not get Georgina Walker the dream decoder on please, I'm not interested in decoding that, all right, Well.

I can hear. I can get you a copy of the news and everything from kids. It's all of your system.

Yeah.

So what I wanted to do was get her to read and use bulletin. But I want to get Brooklyn, her predecessor in the dream, her predecessor on the line.

Oh, I can get Yeah, let's get Brooklyn. What for advice?

Advice? And also I want him to hear the bulletin and give feedback, like is she good enough to replace him one day? Because I don't know, Maybe he won't want to work for Kyle and Jackie forever. He's been doing it for years now, and.

He's been doing TV more and more recently.

Maybe he wants to Brooklyn's looking for other options than Jenna. Now, you should throw your hat in the ring. Is that what you do? Throw a hat in the ring?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, And journalists love hats. All right, I'm calling Brooklyn Ross Okay, hugo, journalist, superstar newsreader on the Kyle and Jackie Oh Show.

You might be having his nap. Hello, Hi, chalk, it's us.

Hello, Hi, Hi, Hey, I just interrupt your nap. No.

I was like, oh god, doess you don't sound it?

No, sorry, sorry, I'll get back into the she's just going over the biking wars in the crime Gangs of Sydney. Yeah, for tomorrow morning.

Random question? How long have you been doing your job with Kyl and Jackie for now?

I think eight years?

Eight years?

Okay, So are you thinking maybe like you'll reach the ten year mark and then start looking for other options. Have you thought about leaving ever?

No?

Not really.

Oh okay, Well, I just want to let you know that you do have the option because I reckon Jenna. I had a dream last night right where our third wheel, Jenna for some reason, was doing your job, took at the news reader and she was, you know, chatting with Kyle and Jackio during their segments as well, and they loved it. She well, we don't know in real life if she's going to be good at it. So have you got any tips? I'm going to get her to audition and show you and you can join.

Yeah, an you tips for Jenna's first dive into it.

You've got to be really quick, like if you think you're talking fast enough, basically double the speed. I think that's what they want, so really quick and still it has to make perfect clear sense.

I've heard some news readers on kids that do not talk quickly. Let me just say, you should give that tip to some other people in.

The quite a few of them.

Yeah.

And also, Jenna, well, how do you sort of do you steer clear from putting your own personal opinions in Brooklyn? Because Jenner is a communist? Should she include that or.

I support that?

I don't know if.

Kyle would like that. You're basically in your script. You have to keep that even and fair. But then if you just start talking off script, then yeah, whatever you want it.

I think, well, we've just borrowed one of the scripts from someone in the newsroom, so pressure is not on you there, Jenna.

And yes, that is a hard bit, I will tell you, so to do it. Well there Jenner writing it finding the news.

Oh yeah, trying to put like less words less words.

She wants to be talent waltzy and have it written for have an orange juice freshly squeezed on the table. All right, So I've got the news everything, I've got the bed, you've got the scrip, so just email that to you.

Yes, I'm kind of confused. I don't understand the screen you've got.

You've got, Brooklyn, any questions. You off to a good start, well, wing it okay, okay, yeah, all right, Brooklyn, we need advice after this. But this is Jenna's.

Oh yeah, Jenna works for WS. So how do you start the news bulletins?

Yes, would say, hey, I'm Jenna with what you need to know now?

Okay, she's typing that she doesn't know her own name. What was that jay word?

How did you spell it? Okay? So just hi, it's standard Benson with the thory that you need to know now.

And also right at the end, I have the final news bulletin before my show starts and they go, it's now the Night Show with Mitchture.

Yeah you can say, and now it's back to a couple of mi to perfect great and then oh yeah, I like that done?

Make it quick?

Okay?

What you're like?

Okay, yeah, yeah, I know what I'm like.

Can you time this perhaps so we have the exact timer?

Oh yeah, because don't they have to be like sixty seconds or say, Brooklyn.

Ah, there's no strict time. But any more than that, I would be I'd be questioning how good you are?

Good? You're ready, Let's go.

It's a twelve o'clock bulletin. Here a kiss, kiss news.

Right now, Hi, it's turning with the stories you need to know now.

Scott Morrison says he's sorry, but reckons he wasn't doing anything dodgy when he secretly made himself Minister of five portfolios. Some of his colleagues are calling for him to resign the x PM, telling Kyle and Jackie, oh, the move was necessary during the pandemic.

That's it.

Okay, this, it's ship.

What was that?

It's about to play a grab?

I will ignore that. Yeah, through the grab, we don't know, Keep going, keep going.

Anthony Albanez He says, the whole thing has UN's felt it wrong. Anthony abnez He says, a thing has understanmined our democracy?

Did you why do you keep doing that?

Because I'm waiting because it's supposed to do it sting or something. No, it's not through warnings about screening, warnings about screening, prescription.

What this doesn't make sense?

Okay, A teaching college sounding the alarm over, Oh god, did this happen in your dream?

Absolutely? Not. She sounded like.

A teaching college sounding the alarm over literacy and numeracy tests, saying not all brilliant teachers need to be brilliant mathematicians.

Your sports tech in a sec.

The NRL says it won't make a call on which stadium will host the Grand Final until later in the week. There's been speculation the event will stay in Sydney after the Arral threatened to acxit over the stadium funding, but the NRL insist talks are continuing with the Queensland government about a possible shift.

The kiss cast is next.

And strike demos and cold and flu relief.

Gets it done? Always follow the directions for use and.

Now it's time for Is it just me?

What the weather?

There's no weather in here?

You just said the kids speak.

Out the window, Jenna say something.

The weather is currently sunny.

Look up and on the TV in the studio is nineteen degrees and partly cloudy.

It is the weather.

It is.

Whatever you start.

I think I'm very safe in my job.

Relief.

I have a yeah, I mean I like it.

I like the friendliness in your voice.

I thought that was nice, thank you, But do you want that? When she's talking about devastating ship.

Yeah, there's a time and a place for the friendly nurse, So just keep that in mind.

If she was like the five year old girl has been kidnapped and stabbed.

Sorry, Brook, and go with your nap.

So you really are a command You just read whatever's in front of you, wouldn't you, appro says Oh, actually AFL is not correct. I'll just correct it in my head.

No, because I thought maybe it was because it's capital.

Maybe it's Australian rug you know, it's.

Just hitting me.

Jenna is yeah, No, that's a National Rugby League NRL.

Jennery is a WSFM staff member. Maybe she'd feel more at home if I gave her a WSFM intro.

Oh yeah, maybe if there's no pressure for her to talk so quickly. Yes, do you have a WSFM script?

Yeah, which Kate said the ws as well. Oh so maybe we could do that, Jenner, if you're comfortable to do that, Okay, I feel like that's that's more you anyway.

By the way, that's sixty second news hit was two minutes and eighteen.

Second Jenna Weather, truly, that's not that's not strong. No, No, all right, you're ready.

I'm ready.

Let's try and do ws you read, just take your time with this, no rush and everyone in the car will be dead in three to six years. Your city, your news, Sydney's one oh one point seven wsfair.

With your three o'clock update. Good afternoon.

I'm Jenna Benson. Flowed from the start is how the premiere is describing the recruitment process that saw former Deputy John Barrellaro awarded a cushy taxpayer funded trade roll in New York dominic perrete, handing down the report into the recruitment process and promising to implement twelve of the thirteen recommendation.

A WSFM that the traffic has it. This will put me asleep behind the wheel.

Including rules about how long ministers have to wait before accepting public sector jobs post politics.

Oh good job, great, that's done, well done. I couldn't sit through their whole three minute vullatin.

Well you know it's natural after that. WUSFM time saber.

Traffic partly cloudy skies with the chance of showers.

With the traffic.

Oh so traffic. WSFM don't have traffic. They're like, no, no need to bush, you're retired.

All of our listeners have lost their license from the age of eighty. You can no longer drive. Oh, Jenna, that's tough. News reading is a tough gig. It is for your first go though. I think you did well.

Thank you. I used to be a news reader in the two with the ur Newds through them back in the day get out live or yeah yeah live. It was fucked really yeah, that's There was a brief period when I first moved to Sydney that I thought I wanted to be a journalist, but then I realized I don't give a fuck about the news and really kind of a credential of being a news reader.

Yeah, do you want me to. I can get you a news one if you want to.

We don't need to keep playing around. Well, body proved my worth in my two with the Artic.

I'll be honest. If there's any news you could deliver, I think it's.

News news.

Gas, that's what that was. Lady Gaga's currently on her chrematicable to her and she's slaying the boots down house. I hate gay news. I'm an advocate for gay people, but you watch news, what are you referring to when they're talking about like, oh, this one's for the girls and the gays and it's just some Gaga story or some American horror story spin off.

I mean, they're not far off the mar But imagine that's a lot of people that actually watch news, Like a stay at home mum in the suburb and then she hears and now it's side for gay news and she's like, Sebastian, get down stairs.

Your news is also entertainment news. I do it on my radio show. It's just like it's everything is It's like nothing is real. We make it all up.

How dare you we do thorough fact checking on trash Alley?

It's true. No, not that show. I'm talking about the fake ones.

You know your show.

No, My show's very My tie up is very factually tie with that penfold? Do do the tie up? It's like my celebrity go segment every night? Okay, cool that penfold does this tie up?

Oh okay cool?

Very fun every night?

No, when did I ask?

Excuse you?

I stole that joke from Jackie. Oh I saw her say that once. That was absolutely killed.

It really cuts.

I'm like, why are you telling me about? That?

Gets you in the guts? All right? Should we go? Everyone?

Yeah?

We better yeah, you probably should. To be honest, we really should.

Don't give up your day job, Jenner.

No, I won't pee.

I won't rip up your resignation.

Well you need that gig, yeah, absolute.

How long have you been doing your current job for Johnson and Amanda?

It would be two and a half years?

Is that all?

But before that I was still in something. Surely that's not correct? Oh yeah, right right, Okay, how long have you been in the walls?

Four and a half years?

Interesting, that's longer than I was in the walls. So yeah, leaving soon, wouldn't he? Well, I was like three years and eleven months, so I just round up to four years.

Oh yeah, I'm at seven and nine months ago. Holy fuck, I know eight years is a long time.

Wow.

Anyway, when did I ask, you really need to set it up? Don't you ship? When?

Oh, you know, when I was working here a few years ago?

When like, when I was working now?

When and then you go? When do they ask?

If?

Don't you go? When what you need to say? When? What? No?

You decide answering the question? They don't guarantee of how the person is going to against them.

It's like this great interview with RuPaul and Graham Norton where he goes, he has all these little he has like five or six catchphrases that he has, like if he doesn't know what to say, he just says these things. So there's one that he said that when you're in a room with someone or at a dinner party with friends and someone leaves and they come back in. When they walk in, you go, okay, go on, tell her to her face funny, just stirs up shit.

You know, I just love because I've been watching drag Race. I keep making these dumb jokes. Like earlier when you said that you're with Telstra, I had to stop myself from saying Telstra hardly Knowah, Oh, it's.

So dumb, but I love it. Everywhere they go, how's your head? And the girls always gonna haven't got any complaints? So they do it every year. It's ridiculous.

It was one season almost as ridiculous as that outfit Wow, Sassy, the outfit jokes kill every time.

Yeah, are you watching drag Race, Jenna? I am this season?

Yep, get out, yep, I am.

Are you listening to drag Race debrief?

Sure?

I am thankful?

Shit, she asked me earlier. How's it going?

Yeah?

Sorry?

Is that funny? I don't listen when there's a guest host on. Jenna doesn't listen when she's not on.

I did listen to all right hey though, Oh good girl, thank you.

I appreciate this.

The oh I didn't think, oh, because she crushed a car so she.

Can't side.

She check, she'd fat check. That's not nice.

I didn't say.

It was very nice of him to come on.

Oh God, anyway, are we leaving or what? Yeah? Yeah we are now, don't forget to head to the Lincoln our Instagram buy so you can buy yourself one of our brand new season four Is it just me?

I'm a glorious They're blue and blue and yellow ones.

You know how I feel about the gender neutral yellow color, of course, and yellow is my favorite color.

Absolutely do it.

But yeah, the blue is gorgeous. It looks like it was matured compared to last year's mugs with that baby pink thing.

So yeah, all the mugs are available.

And if you missed out on one of our pop sockets when we did that horrific summer merch drop, don't worry. They're for sale again. It's all up on our merch website.

On Instagram and pop Socket. I use it every day, day in day out. This has not sometimes I have.

Look, I just noticed, remember how we have the competition, who could sell more? You were selling blue, I was selling yellow.

Yeah, yeah, that's my favorite color. I don't give a shit about the blue. I love yellow.

Oh look at that. I did say all along that the yellow one was cute. But we've alsosly got pink ones pink ones ever for sale, So it's the first time you're able to buy a pink pop socket. So yeah, but it's all there on the website. So we'll get them to your asap because we're doing it ourselves. Because if you want something done right, you do it yourself.

I will say that there's one limited edition mug. Has it sold me?

Yeah? Oh it's solid within minutes. Wow. I have found this old mug from last year and one of the season three ones, and I didn't sell it because Mitch graffiti on it, like he gave me a mono brow you do freckles on your face. And I was like, if I ordered that, I'd be pretty pissed off. But then I realized, oh, I don't really want to keep it, so we put it on clearance for like, we chose a really chaotic price. It was like seventeen thirty two

Mug like power of my art. All right, we're going to go. Everyone will see you in a week. Follow us, give us, give us a five doar review as well. That's very nice.

It's the five star rating on Spotify or Apple podcast. Doesn't matter where you're listening.

Baby, otherwise, we'll see you next week. Everyone, love you, See you then.

Thanks for listening. Catch you see?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast up.

Welcome to a d D Brief. This is our secret segment. On the end, we talked ship. Nothing's planned, no storm.

You saw? Did I talk shit?

All right? Sorry? I love how you got so hung up on the beat part. I was going to talk about the actual subject matter, but yeah.

I couldn't not look away. It was so stupid.

Fair enough.

It's like going fishing with the rod and holding onto the hook.

Jump in fish.

Oh good, far to great episode. Great to be back three of us reunited yet again.

I should say that, you know how I said that we're doing the mugs ourselves. Yes, and if you want something done properly, you should do it yourself. Technically we're not doing it ourselves. But I didn't know how to because I've hired someone, Yes, Emily, obviously you guys know them. I don't know how to say it without saying it sounded like a Wane cuck. Yeah, like you don't want to say yes in a way, she's a producer slash

You just say assistant personal assistance. Gross. You could just say but I.

Liked the alliteration of producer slash personal ppa.

Yeah, but she's my she's my assistant. Isn't as derogatory she's my personal No, I think.

That's either way. Just saying she's my assistant.

I hate that. Why did you just say? I've got a friend, Victoria Devine who to do a radio show with. She always talks about her staff and I always think, ooh that sounds that sounds hot. They're all just PA's and she's got an EA. Now my EA will email you.

What if I embellished and I said, yeah, my team, well I say.

That about my radio show wanted to book. Guess they've got a tiny team. But I'm like, yeah, the team will get back to you, and it's just me with a fake email.

That's like me with the digital team for WS.

It's just me. It's just your yeah, in a webcam. I think producers good because we have spoken about this off the cloud, and I think producers nice.

Well because yeah, she does do producing content for me and helps me with that stuff. But then she also does the books. Yes, she does on my banking because I've been I'm really bad at that. Like she puts aside the money for tax and all that shit that I never do. Yeah, everything I get paid, she has to deduct thirty percent put in a different account.

I can't fucked.

So yeah, she's Oh my god. Should I call her bookkeeper Emily?

Yes? Oh yeah, Emily price keeper up?

Bookkeeper?

Yeah, not produced. Yeah, she needs to be bookkeeper, Emily. What would you be yours? Just keep her because I need to be around forever because you wouldore me. Oh yeah, my keeper, queen?

What am I then?

Creeper?

Well a dog.

Now you are my ghost. You're my business business partner. That sounds hot, I said some of the other time, is my business partner and they were like really, I'm like yeah, because it's true.

Well, if you want to be equal business partners, then you can pay half of Emily's wage.

Oh well, then do I get Then I want to be personal assisting because I don't care about the wink of it all bookkeeper.

I mean, if you're looking for someone, she's very good and I don't really have a lot of hours for her because I don't do much.

Oh my god, imagine if we had an open, yeah, a polyamorous work relationship. We shared the same book keeper.

This is how lazy I am. Like, she goes, so what do I do to write it? Invoice you for the hours I've worked, And I'm like, you're doing the books. Invoice yourself and pay yourself. I don't give a fine.

Oh my god, that's really funny.

So I don't even know how much I'm paying. I really, I haven't even seen the invoices. I'm just trusting Jenna.

Mitch and I went for lunch the other day, work lunch, and we were like, I'll pay, I'll get a few, and then we're both like, oh no, let's just put it on the business on the podcast. So put it on the podcast on Apple Pay. And then Mitch goes, oh, I was about to buddy call you the other day and like absolutely ring you dry because Emily found a whole bunch of Uber Eats chargers on the kiddy.

Oh yeah, Cherry. But then I looked at the prices and my Uber receipts and I did the like and the dates as well, and I was like, oh, they were all me. I just didn't realize they had the wrong account.

Yeah. Plus they were all salad, so he knew that couldn't.

Tell you that on the bank. But yeah, I was about to accuse Jewry, but then I realized, oh me, how dare you?

I barely use it, although it is fun because an Apple pey it comes up and it says A and Z business or whoever we're with, and it's like, oh, look I've got a business card.

Yeah, Commonwealth Business. I think you're fine.

Yeah, common well, thank you, CommBank, Yeah all right. I like bookkeeper, Emily. I think that's nice.

That's nice.

It's officially that he's officially confirmed. Yeah, yeah, as part of the team. Yes, our staff.

Well she's mine, just saying yeah, she's true, Yeah, part of my team. But she can liaise with you. Can you imagine if I ever got to a point where I was like, can you guys go via Emily to organize recordings because she manages my schedule now and you have to meta her and be like, when's Mitch free to.

Report this week?

I'm telling you the podcast wouldn't last a week if that happened.

Or if you hire her as well to do stuff for you, she can just tell us when we're both free.

What are we a race? Is it an houri rate?

Yeah?

Okay, we talk off the cloud, but i'd need someone.

When we're at contraceptive diaphragm Sam's birthday. The other day, I said, Emily, I will pay you an hour's wage to get up and tell them to turn the music down. It's too loud. She wouldn't do it. Oh fuck, I'd do that.

I should have thrown me money. I would have done that. Yeah, we were at all a contraceptive diaphram Sam's birthday, all three of us and my dad. Oh yeah, remember that.

And then he said let's get a photo of comb's of me with your dad to send to Michelle, your mother, and he like he did this. He just like sat back in his chair and went like jesttured to sit on his lap. And I was like, all right, So I straddled your father all the arms around him, and then I like licked his bald head. Yeah, and then I like, is it with me and getting intimate with your family?

Yeah, it's a thing.

I have no memory of kissing your sister, but allegedly it happens.

You have kissed my sister. You've now rode my father ridden ridden.

Sorry someone didn't top English.

No, his name is Jacob Jenner.

That wasn't even thought. You're giving that more of a laugh than its.

It was so dumb. Yeah, Gen, I think it's not hilarious. What did you say that before? When we were try to record but I was running late. You were like, where's Mitchell? And Jenna said he had an audience, which is the best description of me ever.

Yeah, because I was waiting downstairs to be let up and you said in the group chat, oh, I'm in a chat, and I thought you meant in a chat, as in you had an interview your pre recording with someone right, And then I came up. The studio was empty, and I was like, where the fuck who's he chatting to? She goes, I don't know, but he had an audience, so I was like, Oh, that is so you class.

I love it. I just stand up on a soap box and go no one really listens, but oh they were listening. You know. I once had a bos tell me in like a what do you call it when you sit down with your boss and they give a review? Yeah, yeah, I get something like that. Isn't there a word?

There's something, there's a word.

But where just none of us have it touch base anyway? He goes to me, you know what, for as talkative as you are, and for as disruptive as you can be, you're good for morale and and that's one of the big reasons we've kept you around. Imagine being good for morale, Like we're in the trenches in Vietnam. Yeah, I like I'm the joker to keep everyone entertained while everyone's being killed.

Your level of talent and actual skill set different. Sorry, but yeah, you're just a vibe truly.

You know.

When I first started in radio, I would not stop talking, and they continuously said to me in air checks, like Brooklyn just did to Jenna, stop talking, to use less words, stop talking, stop talking.

Well that was you know how I said. I was the newsreader back in the day. That's where I learned the train doors trick that I've told you about.

I love the train doors trick. I think of that all the time.

That's how you make a long story short. Just imagine someone's on the train, you're on the platform, the door of the closing, and that's the amount of time you got to tell it.

That's right. I still think of that. I like that analogy anyway. Yeah, yeah, I do. I think that all the time. Oh okay, I actually do train doors let me finish.

Yeah, and couldn't fully close. And then there was a three minute gap between them.

Actually Sydney train homeless man fell in between them. Oh no, old woman.

I don't assumed gender in this happen as a.

Homeless then and I they would record my audio and then they'd go in with an audio software and cut out words. So they'd send me back audio and go, this is what we need to do. When it was literally this is kiss Saturday height you have one kiss. It's hilarious. I don't know what that sounds awful. I want to talk more. The train jaws have closed. Yeah, next next stop. We're wrong.

The next trying to arrive on platform two goes to Hornsby via chats.

Oh now, I was all stations to Cronella.

Of course you were God to take forever.

Oh my god. That train line. It was an hour to get from the city to Cronella. But it was one way, no trains, no changing. It was really good. The Illora line T five, T four.

T four, I think T four it's just me?

Or is the ill line under rating?

This is just me?

Here? Is T four truly a godsend? It was in T two this week? Well, you got a peppermint for that tummy?

What's wrong with your Tom Tom dad and tummy ache?

Like I'm a child?

Maybe it's a phantom pregnancy. Is there anyone in your life that you might be going out in sympathy for immaculate conception? That doesn't answer my question.

No, I'm just saying, maybe I've been immaculately conceived.

Oh you have immaculately conceived?

No, no, no, no, the Lord has been immaculately knocked up.

Yes, correct, the Lord has just put one in me.

Stabbed it right up there.

Stabbed it right up there without consent is a mess without consent.

I'm sorry about that.

Are you watching The Mask Singer? Guys? I watched a little bit joker.

I just watched the first episode because I was like, oh, yeah, I'm home on a Sunday. I'll pop it on in the background.

I just don't like Hugh's his jokes and guesses.

It's gotten to the point where it feels like a kid's show, like when Dora pauses for the child to babble into the screen.

He's like, who is it?

Also?

Can I just say? What was I going to say? I had something really good?

No, don't start that centence unless you can't you think it might be DEXI o'clock. Oh no, everybody, can you backtrack you with talking about becoming It's becoming ridiculous. It's like a kids show, like Dora when children every wine further jos. A joke's a joke. Are you guys watching The Mask Singer? All stops to an hour too far?

Yeah, ship fast forward a.

Home was them?

No, it's gone?

Whatever it was I can't rewind any further. I'm out of bed.

It's gone. Sorry, I wanted to hear it.

You probably didn't generate the things he says behind your back.

Oh god, I reckon. You could work on your rewind sound effect though.

Oh really, yeah, mine is too. It's not good. Give me a sound. I'll do a sound effect for it. Give me a noise, a common sound phrase something.

I can't think of anything off the top of my clip.

Anything, anything that would be giving you one be a clip.

No, I can't think of anything off the top of my clip. That's the phrase. What are you asking for a phrase? I know?

I want a phrase. I want like like something that I can make a sound of. I will imitate the sound and like the rewind sound.

Maybe we should go, belly.

Here, let's go.

What about a pepper mil cracking?

No?

Oh, now that sounds like someone choking to death.

Wow, maybe we should go.

I love it.

In the last minute, we've all suggested we go be better and it's not. And it's a general yeah, in what other profession does someone suggest we go? And we pushed through. We finished this surgery. It was a success. No, no, come on, let's just cut open the appendix.

It's like, Okay, congratulations, miss Wiggins, you've been discharged from hospital, but no stay, no rush at all.

Oh if I told you about my GP, who's my family doctor who it's now become so uncomfortable to have a chat with.

Yeah, weren't you saying that you and Hayden want a gay friendly GP.

Yes?

Yes, But my new thought is I can't possibly stand by this man anymore. Doctor Sard, great practitioner, but he knows you.

Could have some respect to news. This fool named doctor Sard Wonder Soap, Professor Wonder soap.

He's whites are very white. He knows all my family's problems, so he'st what's your problem? Is it worse than your grandmother's diary? You know NaN's good because good, and your mother's blood pressure is back to normal. He knows everything about my family.

It's taken Sardo to court because that's breaching patient confidentiality. True if you didn't know about your grandmother's diary, true, and now everyone knows.

True.

Don't get me started on my dentist.

What about him?

Well, professor.

Not?

What do you mean?

I want to go to Professor Carl Gate.

Psychologists are exclusively make.

Up and beauty doctor Maplene.

Yeah, I'm lo, Professor Mario Bodesca. I'm loving my my new therapist, doctor Rymle London. Actually it works because makeup brands are just people's dumb names. It just sounds normal.

Rimmle London, Doctor Thin Lizzie.

The next one has to just be weight loss plans. Oh, doctor Jenny Craig, my doctor slim.

Fast, doctor Lady Shake.

Oh, dr Absircle Pro.

Now this is an all time It made no sense, sounds like a Bond villain.

I am doctor Bellett. You have got the LiPo, give me his number. Fuck, don't forget.

You can get a mug.

You can buy one or multiple limited time only dogs.

That's right. If you get a margg you get a discount of pop Socket. If you haven't seen the rates, go have a look. Everybody. Yeah yeah, if you get a margin, pop Socket then gets like sixty percent off. I think it drops down to under.

Five bucks for bookkeeper Emily Smart.

This is a genius.

I don't even know that that was happening, but I'm all for it.

I was in that zoom. No one else was, but I logged into WordPress and I just fixed that up.

Or you just looked at the website like I bought some you are you buy it?

That's my mitch impression. All right, everybody, back to the back to usual programming. Adore you all leave a review five stars please, and if you haven't left one yet and you're listening, go fucking do it. I don't want to have to ask you again.

We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today, that's all, so we do gorgeous. All right, Well, we're going to get the fuck out of here.

See your bitches, tootles by slats. We'll catch you next week, idiot, see you everyone.

Thanks for listening.

Is It Just Me Podcast by a couple of mitch Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.