#106: Carla From Bankstown, Bro!

People do some weird shit.

Would you like to try vape? Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive? I think that pop. I'll tell you what.

Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No?

You know.

I had it in the car on the.

Way home and I didn't have a spood, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to.

Get ants out of a hole.

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults food being.

Fingered as an awful sensation.

You haven't been thinking about the right person.

Goodness, may this is just still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season.

Sorry? Now he is Mitch Julli and Mitchell kob Well, well, well we're back Mitchell Combs.

Hello, Hi, idiots, what's happening to Darlan?

I'm very hot and sweaty. We're not our usual studios.

And they've shoved us in a broom closet because there's more important talent using our studio at the moment. They don't realize we're in the company of celebroyalty at the moment. Guess who's here today, idiots. Carla from Banker.

I thought I smelled Africa. I love you.

You are the only person in the entertainment industry that I can share clothes with. Now that Bert Newton's died, it was now it's just you and me.

That's it.

I've got a whole wardrobe for you, baby, I love you so much.

You introduced me to Carlo Midge.

I did I think the very first video I found it the very first video of yours that I saw on TikTok that I was like, oh my god, I'm booked, because you know how Carla does a lot of those impressions of receptionists or secretary.

He's glad to spirit.

Yes, yes. Famously, there was one where she was a travel agent during COVID when everyone was in lockdown, and this was the first video I saw and I found it so funny.

Is welcome to Handela Travel. You're speaking with Carla? I can I help you today?

A fly where bro, everything's closed the words closed.

No, you can't go on kent What are you talking about break Kiki? Yeah?

Bro, the closest can take you and get you too, is I canentink you to Auburn?

Bro?

Yeah? Bro the sights and sounds of the area.

Bro, we go to Auburn, go to Grandville, Guilford, Brough, Marylands.

Where do you want to go? Well, don't call me then, Bro?

All right, well I'm going to book you in any way, credit card details you. I already got him on the system, bro apparently, so yeah, guess what.

I just booked you a kenticky all the way to Auburn.

Broo if congratulations Mark No, I said, I said, congratulations.

You enjoy your flight, enjoy your bat fly to Auburn.

Joy.

You've got banks down Airport. So true. You can fly if you want to put your mind to it. You can do anything you want. That's so funny.

You are hilarious, and you're actually coming up on Channel and Celebrity Apprentice.

By the time this podcast is out, it's actually already on television. It comes out Sunday night.

Oh my god, Celebrity I'm so excited for it was the most random thing I've ever done in my life.

How did they come about?

Well? I got an email from Warner Brothers. They were sending me this birth of brothers. Yeah yeah, I've done them both. Yeah, okay, you know. They emailed me and they're like, Color, we want you. We've got an exciting, amazing opportunity for you on TV. And I was like, bro, what the fuck is going on here? So I thought it was drag Race because Warner Brothers does Drag Race down Under in Australia distributed and whatever. I don't know here. I'm thinking like, bro, I'm gonna go on drag Race.

No way?

And I rang her and she's like this British lady, hello, Color, that's my British accent. Did have a concussion? Yeah, She asked me. Channel nine's a big fan of yours. We want you on Celebrity and I was like me what. I actually was very confused. I thought I was being praying throughly. Yeah. But here we are months later, it's about to come out and I'm so excited to see it.

So it's on Sunday till Wednesday on Channel nine, Isn't it Okay? Sweet? And then you can catch up on nine now with Well if you want to check out my car was doing.

I Love a Celebrity Apprentice like the good old days when Roxy Jasenko she almost won or did she win off? So she monks over Monk one. That was the best season of television in a long long time.

You were telling me that some of the other celebs on celeb Apprentice you were having a hangouts in the bathroom just having a vape.

There was I was. I ended up being the vape dealer. And on the first night we're filming, we had a break, had dinner and I'm walking out onto the balcony and I'm like looking out and no one was out there. I'm like, I'm the only smoker. That's great whatever, and then Vince Cosmo came out and He's like, got a lighter and I was like, oh, bro, yes, please, my dream to have a cigarette with the Vince Cossman. And I thought I'd say it so. And then Samantha Jade

And the not the judge but the boss because it's the apprentice. You're trying to be the apprentice of Lord Alan Sugar, which in America it's it's Donald Trump.

How is Bill donald Trump?

Oh no, I don't think I can do it. I wish it was Donald Trump here, Bro. I would have told him he went to go with Trump. I would have knocked him out.

Did you get along with Lord Allan Sugar? He's an old man. You can't push Lord Allan Sugar.

He was like a grandpa. Like it was so weird because like the first thing he ever said to me when he saw me was are you or Sheila or a blake? Oh my god? And I'm like, here we go, bro, this is going to be a ship fight. But as the show went on, he was like every time he saw me, he would always go directly to me just to see what I was wearing. Always give me a little smile. Hi, Carla, how are you, and he actually said gronk as well at one time. So really I'm very excited.

Oh my god, you know what I'm going to play right now. I'll edit it in later. But how iconic was that When Carla was on a Current Affair and then the report finished, the package ended. It cuts back to Tracy Grimashaw at the desk and she says this, the.

Current Affair introduced you to the social media sensation and the man behind the character earlier this month.

I enjoy bringing people that happiness and making them smile.

She's made it, Gronks.

Look at that.

You've impacted her vocabulary. That is amazing, bro.

I that was probably the best moment of my existence part of culture. It's like it was a culture reset for Australia. Honestly, she's made.

It, gronk. I reckon. Tracy had no idea what she was saying. Like some producers, they just do it.

It'll be funny, Tracy, you better say it or you're getting canceled.

Everyone will love it.

But she's like, fine, well we were talking about Apprentice. I've actually got some little gifts for you guys. Oh my god, yeah, bro, same, we got given these the Louis Viton's on the table. I know. Okay, so you got to close your eyes. I'm not gonna.

I've got a star in one eye so it hurts to.

Work.

My brother I used to call them, bitch. I've got a clear open and grab it. Okay, you could.

I said, open your eyes, you've gronk.

Oh my god, I know, Speak of the Devil. It's a Lord Sugar appentis appentis.

Ages six plus. That's why Jenna didn't get one.

A Lord Sugar talking point pen. Oh my god, I got like a little action figure.

It is bro. It's like you know those like punching pens.

And boxing kangaroo. Oh this is girl. Just look at that.

We were in the middle of doing hair and makeup and then one of the producers came up. It was like, Lord Sugar, that's giving you a gift and I'm like, bro, you better have given me a check for five grand. Bro, I've got car payments to make. Bro, I need money. And they give us his pen and I'm like, okay, thank you, thank you read so much, Lord Sugar. That's amazing. Quickly, why are you plug your charity because you play for charity, right, My charity that I'm playing for is twenty ten. They

Yes.

Now, Carlum and I also did the Mardi Gras parade together on the tech tok Yes Memories and you know how, I did it twice. The second year I was like, I don't know if I want to do it, I'm

Yeah?

And she's like, oh, okay, we just have to do it. She's like, Bro, we went, we already did. Bro, I went, I'm not fucking dancing again to pay me for that ship. Sorry, I got that.

Poor bitches adopted somewhere. Us just got early onset dementia.

We were like.

Those fucking pesky kids in the class that think they're really funny, but they're not. Like, we were just fucking cracking.

Ourselves about the back, making comments.

I was just thinking to myself, why isn't Jenna spoken Its because we haven't introduced the our third wheel generous here is always Jenner. I'm so sorry.

Finally I can talk sang on Jenny. So sorry, Bro, I'm so sorry. Okay, should we start the show. We're all here.

Yeah, so later on we're going to be wading through Carla from Bankstown celeb contact black books, Yeah.

My little black book or my little black box, maybe a pink box, little big, a little big, pink very bod. But if it's your first time was sitting, let's start with is it just me?

It's how we start to show the same every week, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate.

A Mitch doesn't know mine, I don't know. Mitches should we? Jenna should do one too, because every time we do a guest.

Yes, yep, all four of us, they've got anyither just I'm seeing you've got one calor of course?

Yeah, I do.

Alright, who wants to go first?

Okay, you go first, do the Mitches?

Then it's carlor ladies first. Let's kick it off with yes.

Okay, so now Brad will out you in. Our musician, Brad will play you in and then you just continue.

When you're ready, Bradley, Okay?

Is it just me?

Are we sick and tired of people on TikTok begging for gifts on live? So I'm begging for number one top spot, bro I don't care.

What does that actually mean? The number one top don't It's like.

There's like a podium, so you're like the top three in the whole of Australia, and the movies you get, the more gifts you get. Oh apparently it's just like broke, give it up.

And then never gifts. It's like a picture of a monkey in a box. Please give me monkey box. I want fish chimney.

I'se. Let's go give it to me, Give it to me.

Yeah.

I didn't realize that when someone buys you a gift during a TikTok live, it's actual money that they're spending.

Yeah.

Oh, I didn't know that either. So it's like badgers on Instagram.

Yeah.

I was in the middle of a TikTok live and I was like, oh, thanks, Denise, she just sent me a party duck or something. I did a little dance on the screen, and then after I finished the live, I've got a notification being like, oh, you need to fill out your bank details to claim you know, your your payout account or whatever it is to claim your money. And I was like, what the hell? And apparently I made six bucks, which I was like, Oh, that's nice that she just kind of did that off her own bat.

I saw one the other night and it was a man asleep in bed and had a poster above his head that was like, if you buy me this gift, the alarm will sound and I'll wake up. So it was an incentive to get cash because people wanted to see this poor guy be woken up.

And like, oh, give me a gift and I'll write your name on this whiteboard.

That people can actually make an insane amount with that stuff.

Can't say. I think the most I've made on TikTok before I got banned because I'm banned from going live forever on TikTok. Talk to Hayden. Someone showed their dick on TikTok.

But anyway, apparently they've already spoken to people at TikTok and Carla the band will not be lifted.

But you need Hayen extent, Okay, he's top dog. And I made twelve cents twelve cent talk because someone sent me like two roses. I was like, oh, beautiful thinking for the roses. But it's just it's the concept of it is so stupid because there's little kids on there, do you know what I mean? It's like and if they're using their mum and dad's phone and it's connected to their bank account, it's like, I think it's like fourteen ninety five for like two hundred coins.

I really think we should work on getting Carla's TikTok live band lifted.

Okay, should I text Hayden?

Yeah? Text your boyfriend right now?

Okay, text.

It's not what you know, it's who you know.

It's who it's you know, it's who you blow. He's got not disturb but I'll send a voice message. Can get it?

Radioca, Yeah, babe, I'm here with Carla. Hello from Bankstown. She's banned from going live on TikTok. Helped me out, please brow bright. She only showed her dick once.

Bro I was it wasn't It wasn't Carla, That wasn't Carlos, wasn't my dick. It was someone else's, Alan Sugars dick was on. So can you unbend her from live? Thank you? Thank you? All right?

Just sent.

It's pretty fabulous that next you want to go? Yeah, okay, go for it?

Is it just me?

Does I g A need to grow up?

As in the store?

Actually, to be fair, it's not just I g A. But my local is the one that spits me off. I'm sure a lot of other stores do this, but I think we're beyond the point where we have to stick a fucking gold coin in the trolley to be able to get.

What happened to the good old days, mynn needs to carry them around, those little silver fake coins.

Ye, sell it out.

They'd sell it Coles and they go you to buy one and you and now they stopped doing it.

Yeah, but why do they do it in the first place? Like I cannot use a fucking trolley at me. I ga, who the hell carries gold coins?

It's because gronks take the trolleys and dump them in the rivers.

Is that what happened there?

Did you ever?

Yeah, it happens all the time. I've got trolley's my backyard w B to move shit around. Do you ever remember seeing those commercials back in the day of like if you see a lost trolley, call this number now.

Yeah, like that I don't remember seeing when I worked at Coles.

My first job was at Cole one of the first jobs, and you get people calling and they'd be dobbing in and be like they'd found a missing boy retro like thanks Mary, and we like right down the location and we had like a team that would go and retrieve the trolley.

But also, how how does putting a fucking gold coin in there to unlock it actually stop you from ceilings in the first place.

Then you don't get your coin back. It's the incentive two bucks.

I'm sure he will be fine.

Yeah, but Mary Bankstown, who cares about two I care about two bucks, bro, macus mcflurry bro.

But I'm sure even Mary in banks Sound is evolved enough that she doesn't carry shrapnel, like whatever, What's going to happen to gold coin donations? Like no one carries coins?

Oh my god.

I was the other day at where was I at a festival or something and the ox fan came up or a charity came up money for the poor, and I don't need cash on me nowhere he is pulled out of pay pass and I was like, I had to pay pass them four bucks.

Oh my god.

Imagine if you had to like pay pass just to be able to wear mufty day at school, like you know how sometimes it's a gold coin donation. Yeah, oh god, how is that going to work?

I don't know someone at Facebook marketplace here that I had a square reader, Like people are evolving getting legit those things.

That's crazy.

I also got fucked off at the vending machine at my my train station near my house because it only took coins and cash, and I'm like, for fax sake, like pay pass, Like come on, grow up, Yeah, my area, my whole needs to grow up.

Grow us here, I grow. I completely agree. And also like the shopping centers and the IDA is acting like trolleys are so expensive.

But there are a piece of metal with four wheels. Actually they're a glorified razor scooter.

And I've got a bung shoulder. I can't be lugging around a basket. It's actually impeding on my health and wellness. I just want to fucking trolley.

I've got a hack. I've got a hack. Now, it's not for everyone, but most west it's a Westfield thing. Westfield valet. Yes, it's ten dollars and you think, but if you've got to be there for a long day, it's six bucks anyway, So get valet. But here's the trick. You got to any store because they give you a little tag. Right, you get any store and you buy like a whole grocery run, You show them your tag and they will go no worries, and you don't take

It's in like someone at Willie Yeah, to take it down to the about.

Like page Valet and go, hey, we've got a grocery shop for ticket number twelve. And then by the time you get back to your car, they have all your groceres ten bucks.

There's no extra fee. But I'd be taking all that shit home you reckon. Yeah, I'd be putting in the back of my car and d.

With a balete.

You steal it. I'm sorry, I'm arstanding. That's what I'm doing. I'm stealing hard.

See how much time do you spend it supermarkets and Carla? But get that personally, I don't. I don't spend enough time to warrant Valet.

The mic pack fell off.

Oh little what.

Are you filming a reality show or something? Oh she kicked off the mic pack because we're not normal studio.

Everyone thanks Jenna to love how I did not jump to your rescue at all. I was like, yeah, She'll fucking.

No one cared.

I could have just died right now. No one gave a shit about me.

You're listening to is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of midgest.

It okay, Sam Wei's in the middle of the show. Every week we're doing is It just You, Carla? This is when the listeners of the show we call them idiots.

It's endearing.

Gronks.

We actually just had an idiot referendum. We got them to pick their own names, and they wanted.

To keep idiots. So I love that.

It's like, oh my god, the election happened this weekend.

We put the power back in Alice. At least they know the idiots. Some people don't know the idiots.

It's really sad we let the idiots have and is it just me?

Of their own?

You can send it in a couple of mit you send us a voice message like Nikeita's done.

This is Nikita's Is it just me? Or to avoid leaving people on scene, do you just not open the message and leave a lot of people on read?

Oh I have a tactic here. I just read the message, not as soon as I get it, because they could still be in the chat, but a couple of minutes after they send it, and then I unread it.

That's what I do all the time.

Wait, but does that take away on their end as well, that it's been seen. No, yeah, I'm pretty sure it does. Let's test it.

Let's test it.

Because I'm pretty sure if you market it's unread on your phone, it's just telling you that you haven't read it yet. But the other person, the other person, because by the way, just throw you across it. I know that you leave me on red.

Okay, I just wrote high boo xxx.

So oh wait, you need to message me.

Yet's on Instagram. You need to message me.

Hi dog?

Yeah, perfect, Yet I've seen it. I haven't opened it yet. Click it, oh, he says, hi dog se Just now I'm going to unread.

Yep, it's still seen, Carla, what about it?

No, I hadn't read it yet.

We're getting it because no, I've already seen it.

It's just my phone.

Do you know?

Do you know how many dms I have from people asking me to do shit for them, And I like, well, I read it, like hey, can you promote my thing on your Instagram or all that kind of stuff. Well, hey, I want you to do this with me, a video, whatever, And I'm like, I read it and then I unread it. But they've seen it that I've seen. Oh, sorry to.

Break it to you, No, but I mean I don't really I don't.

I think that is just her.

No, I definitely leave things open, like she said. Like, I've currently got sixteen unread texts, two hundred and ninety five unread emails, and four unread Facebook messages.

I'm at three fifty seven on my Gmail, thirteen on my work email, nineteen on Messenger, eight on Snapchat.

God, I haven't used averageous.

That's how my family. I have four hundred and sixty five emails. I have twenty five unread text messages and three voicemails.

Three voicemail or miss calls or something voicemails anymore.

I love a voicemail, and that's I'm back onto voicemails.

I love it. I love just talking shit on voicemail. Color No, who created the velco on this table? It's not cute?

Do you know what though? Speaking of voicemails, Joe, can I just say there is nothing that irks me more in this world than your voicemail?

What do you mean?

For some reason, I don't know what microphone you were using, whether you're on your car, blue ship or something. Do you sound like a chipmunk. You're like Ain's Mitch.

I want to hear.

Yeah, I'm gonna go and do not disturb so you don't have to sit through the dial time.

Oh god, I'm so excited.

Ready does this not sound off to you? It's go bye a shame and I'm like, that's not my voice?

What happened that day? I sound like Alvin every time you do. The chubby.

Was the cutest.

Yeah, I know, he's the cutest.

My ring turn at some point when I had a murderoler raisor Mini was kim possible.

But but come and meet me. That's my message tone right now. Send me a text stage wait, wait, let me put it on. Yeah, send me a text maybe hope grinder doesn't go off. Here we go.

That's good, But I had the actual song that's gone. You can message a couple of miches just like Nikita did and get on it.

Yes, thanks Nikita Dale and keep him coming all right?

Mitchell, you want to jump in with yours, You've already done one.

I can go again if you really want.

There's so many a long day my turn.

Yeah, you go, Here we go?

Is it just me?

Do you feel like you've missed your window to send a good nude?

Oh my god, I feel like I've my nude free street. It's lasted this long that it's more impressive if I just never do it. Yeah, I've never sent a nude.

I've never seen you.

I've had FaceTime sex okay sorry, phone like phone sex, like FaceTime.

Sex in the same room, or they were overseas, they were on a holiday. Are we talking about your current gay factor?

Yes, we say partner just to keep it ambiguous. Yeah, for the straight listeners, yeah, we don't want to isolate yet. Yeah, we've had FaceTime sex and phone sex plenty, plenty.

But I don't think i'd even be down for that.

So he's never sent You've never sent a nude before.

Me, and I've never taken one, so neither of I. Actually people have asked and I've just been like, absolutely not.

Yeah.

No, i have never taken a nude. And I feel like I've missed my window. I feel like a I've gained the fucking weight. I'm a haggard.

No you're not.

But I have a long term partner and they she and she has brains, and I don't want to send her a photo in case she's breastfeeding.

I don't want to put it off.

No, I don't know I just feel like my windows gone. I've got friends that send it and it sounds so exciting and the thrill of like a snapchat nude and it excites me. But I feel like I could never do it.

Jenny, you're awfully quiet.

I've never never was.

I thought we were going to get something controverse there either color.

Do you send nudes? Absolutely? But what about your profile? It's grown, I know. See that's the thing, like now I have to be you're a TV. You have to be DL discreet or do well. I mean, on all the dating apps, everyone's always like the first thing people say, oh, I gotta get color from bank sound. I never I don't send it to people unless I like get to know them a little bit first, you know. And most of the time the DL or the straight guys, they don't send photos or they don't want to, you know,

No, let's be real at the end of the day, and a photo of a bear asshole if they're all the same.

Yeah, you could just google it, yeah, and I'll be like, that's mine, Jennet, come on, come.

On, bending It doesn't sad in me.

I don't feel like I've missed out on anything, but like I didn't realize, like twenty six year olds are all similar age. Are they really all sending nudes?

Yeah? All of them?

Yeah?

Wow.

You know.

You know what I.

Hate though about guys sending nudes is when they put their dick and they compare it to something. What have you got? So I got one that was like a dick and a Fox remote like you two or three? Because there's a big pieces and it was like that and like a can of coke or I was like a Deodoran can Idia Diodoran can. I'm like, this is turning me off, touching all this ship but I don't want that, Mitchell.

What would you get one household item? Would you need for metric?

What would you could you use a I don't feel like that's an appropriate to ask man.

Water in can I have to go back to the Shine to get the pull noodle in the back.

Shed Mine's just my vape. It's one of those hand grenade vapes that look like a walking anyway. Sending your nudes to a couple of mitches. Well, yeah, yeah, don't go through them. We'll go through them.

Actually, don't, cause then we'll get banned like Carla did on fucking TikTok Live.

If anybody on this podcast wants to said me a dig piic just just for fun, just for hack bro, I'm just DM.

If there are any listeners, any any idiots that are handy for Carla, slide into the d MS and then you come back and let us know if our listeners have nice.

Dick, I'll read it and I'm read it. Yeah, I worked that won't work.

You get ready to go, Jenna, Yeah, I'm ready, all right? Cool?

Is it just me?

Do kids ugly scribble drawings look disgusting on parents' walls at work?

Jenny's are always either do you hate children?

Somebody upstairs and all over their wall. It's just pictures of their child's scribble. It's literally scribbler.

I should add to it one day. Put your own scribble, and.

It's just like, just wait until they can actually draw.

Unless they can properly sketch some sort of landscape, I'm not interested.

Yes, your poor kids, Jenny, you're gonna make them get like unless you can draw four plans up for my new renovations.

Don't draw unless you're fucking Picasso, bitch. Don't even pick up that fucking pencil brand.

Time out by?

Is it just me.

Listening on Spotify?

I don't forget to leave a five star?

Hey, now, Carla. We were saying last week on the show that we're done with booking in celeb interviews because it's easier just to find someone in our contacts. If we have someone famous and just give him a ring unannounced, see if they pick up. Because we called Ben Fordham last week, and his bloody producer had been saying no and go for me. When we're trying to go through official channels trying to book him in properly, we weren't getting anywhere. So we were just like, fuck it, let's

And also you're connected in the entertainment industry. You have a little black book on your phone.

I do do you have.

Like a group chat with everyone from Celebrity Apprentice?

I have multiple group chat.

Oh my god, she.

She loves it.

Who would you say? The most famous person in your phone is?

Um? Who have? I?

Got it?

You have me? But don't give out my number? No, I want to do that, you know what? I reckon? I could give Julia Morris a call? Oh my god, she's been on the show before.

What should we do if she picks up?

Just chat? Just chat to us to get an.

ID from her. Hi, I'm Julia Morris and you're listening to.

Okay, call her try to try to get an exclusive for It's just just just something that we can send to the papers.

And if that fails to move on to who else?

Have you got my mom?

Is she famous?

Is that a drag queen? My mom? My mom is going to be on the show too. Honestly, she made a cameo appearance.

Did she love that?

Me?

You came on my radio show during filming? You're now leave the cameras outside.

All right, I'm going to call Julia. Here we go, host of I'm a celebrity.

Get me out of here.

Imagine, go straight the voicemail.

Well, how are you?

Baby? Oh my god, how are you?

Vintage form? I've just under stood into a grown up meeting like four hours to get ready.

I think legally you have to tell her that we're recording.

We're just recording a podcast at the moment, and the whole, the whole Gi just.

Was in the meeting.

It it's just me and the special, massive, massive, fancy board room.

Oh beautiful. Okay, Well, basically I had to pick someone who was the most famous person in my phone contact list to call to say hi, and that was you, I know.

But also.

Patty Newton didn't pick up first Julia.

To be honest, yeah, not.

A great calling card, but it's exciting at least.

And so how do you two know each other?

How do we know each other? To Instagram? Oh yeah, we just we're just.

Legally we're not allowed to talk about how we know each other. So we go with the Instagram line.

That's it.

You know, word spooning never comes into.

It, spooning, forking whatever we were feeling that in that moment, absolutely all right, I'll let you go. I love you too, I'll give you of course you we'll.

Catch up by gay please please please.

I love you girl, love hy Julius see your sorry tunnel success.

Yeah, well, oh my god.

You know what I just realized we should have gotten you to do. We have this really dumb game we get our guests to do. Sometimes it's called sound of Silence. I just get people to call someone okay, and then when that person on the phone asks you a question. It might be a houseyr day or what's up? You just take ages to think of an answer. You just leave them in silence, okay, and then how to work again.

Well, the last time we did it was Christian Hull. So you have to call someone, okay. The longest you can keep them on is the better. You have one bridging term, So you start right, you say hello, how are you Once they asked you a question that you need to reply to. Oh, but where are you leave it?

Silent?

Okay?

And then you have one bridging phrase, which could be hold on one sech and oh yeah I'm still here, just one of these after they've asked you a question.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

And so Christian Hull's record is what was there like two minutes?

Twenty minutes and a half.

Yeah, yeah, okay, who's.

The it's my famous person.

J Drink and she's doing a shoot today. Okay, yeah, I reckon. I could get my mom to play along. She's not a celebrity, but my mom, you she will fucking piss us off it comes to all the Yeah, she'll get the ships at me.

But you know, brilliant.

All right, So I just started off saying, hello, how are you having a normal chat?

Yeah?

Maybe, you know? Fifteen twenty seconds? And then when she asked the question, you just never answer it.

Okay, all right, here we go of silen.

Have you stop watching Mitch?

No?

Start it now?

Chance when the silence starts, Yeah.

Hello, Hello, Hi mom? How are you?

I'm good?

How are you? Hello?

Hello?

Sorry?

Just one second?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Doing is this a prank?

Call. Uh talah? Is this a prank call?

Because I'm hanging up? Oh my god, what's going on? You're grown? What do you want? I'm hanging up. Hello, you got thirty seconds to answer me?

Oh wow?

Is that all I get?

Jesus Christ?

That record? You just bet Christians records?

Oh my god, Mom, don't even explain. I'm so sorry. I've got to go. Love your mom, Love your mom.

Bye.

Oh my god, color beat the record?

You just top Christian the first person.

Wow, what an honor?

Oh my god, I love it.

I knew my mom puts up with my ship all the time. Clearly someone from Melbourne's calling me the number. I'm not going to answer it.

Okay, oh answer.

It's probably a scam call, bro, probably.

A TV show wanting.

Another one.

My dream would be to do Dancing with the Stars. Oh my god, I feel like that could be so fun.

Yeah, I feel like it's pretty hard to get a villain edit on Dancing with the Stars. You're pretty safe.

Yeah, neither that or apparently they're doing supposed to be doing Celebrity Married at First Sight Get Out. Yeah. I heard, I've been here it through the grape vine. Yeah, I heard that too, the celebrity version of married at first sion, that'd be brilliant. I don't know whether or not they're going to marry celebrities, whether the celets are going to marry each other, yeah yeah, or.

Marry marry a civilian Yeah yeah, poor person.

As long as they put me with someone hot, I would go on it.

What celebrity would you date currently in Australia? Don't do a Hamsworth? Do like someone that actually know.

The new the New Purple Wiggle? Oh the one that was just Justice Crew? Oh yeah yeah, yeah, he's hot, he's hot, gorgeous. Yeah, and he's got a brother too, twin brothers, so maybe it could do it like a thropple. I could marry both of them. Yeah yeah. I don't know who else really there's I don't know. I don't really think there's anyone else hot, do you?

I was waiting for Mitchell comes.

In the room celebrity after all as yeah, definitely.

Now before we get out of here, there's another important question that I do ask all of our guests, okay, that I need to run by you. Okay, so we need you to contribute to our list of things better than drugs and Dick, because because we have a running list of things better than drugs and Dick. Because we just want to remind our younger listeners that there's more to life than parting in boys. Yes, so we just it's a small thing in life you appreciate. Yep, It's

Have, you know, like a good clean bed sheet, you know, changing.

Crispy Monk said Jimmy Rings like that's kind of it dry, but anyway, yeah, true, all right, you're better than drugs and Dick.

Better than drugs and Dick. I would say, KFC Wicked Wings.

I love it. Yeah.

Do you remember when they brought out you might not KFC Wicked Wings with that like collar sauce, sticky barbecue sauce.

Oh yeah, that didn't look good. I never tried, right, they were good.

Do you remember mashies AKFC the potatoes mashed potato balls you used to get the McCaine used to make them.

Yeah, I used to get them on lunch orders, the little with the smileies.

And potato smiles Tommy. But yeah, wicked wings, bro, that goes off every time. I'd rather that than Dick any day of the week, honestly, bro.

Less clean up. Actually no, they're both as messies each other.

Really, I get the sweats from both of them.

Might as well.

You can watch Carla on The Celebrity Apprentice. It started tonight, so.

Yeahs on Sunday to Wednesday on Channel nine, or you can just catch up on nine.

Now only fans or in a DM she's waiting for Is it just me idiot Dick pics?

Absolutely if it ain't seven or above, I'm not. I don't want it. I don't want it. You nread. Sorry Bye.

Well, I'm glad we finally got to you on We've been wanting to for ages.

Yeah, thank you for having me.

A lot of time, Darland.

It was a pleasure.

Listen.

Guys, will be back next week.

If you want to get in touch, centers a voice message, a couple of mitches, otherwise we will.

See we really should have gotten Carla next week because you know what next week is? What what pig Week? Our annual pick week.

Annual pig week, So pick week, it's a term I think I coined on.

So last year I was about to start a new diet and my training was going to be monitoring what I was eating, and so Mitch said, well, you need to have one last pig out before you go on this diet, and so we called it pig Week, and then he said it's annual, and I thought he was kidding. But all of our listeners have been messaging, don't forget.

It's pig week.

And guess what, because my new manager, David It's a bloody legend, met him last week. Pig Week is sponsored by dary Lee Chocolate, So idiots, make sure you run along, get yourself from Daryl Lake so that you can eat along with us next week for pig.

Darroly bullets a the white chocolate with a raspberry liquorice.

Is so good.

Absolutely, that's pig Week next week.

Well, thanks thanks for that rubbing it, thank you for giving us a gift. We give you nothing.

I'll send you some.

We love Carl, We'll see you guys next week. Thanks for listening, idiots.

Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of mitches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome to add Brie. This is our secret segment. On the end, we pretend the show is done and then we just stick around a bit longer. Nothing's planned in this bit. It's a couple of people with add happened.

A dra What do you mean? I thought we were finished? Calos stood up. I'm I'm tired. I've got a grinder appointment to go. You do not? Actually I do? Yah, bro Moey moy one of them? What is this? Talk to me, Tommy? What do we do?

So?

You know? The other parts of the show we come with something prepared, but this bit we just talked shit out. Okay? I mean you don't have to sick arount if you've got a Dick to get to like, No, it's fine. Just know that we might talk about you in your life.

There's far more better things in life than Dick and.

Carla.

Have you ever been in this experience? I talked about him off and on the show. McDonald's I don't know if you.

Get my god, why is your little volume control are you knock falling apart?

No, I'm not even touching it. Bro, You're just that hot. You've got your own hand on it. It's very hot.

But I'll just think you're cuffing it.

It looks like you're holding your dip I am under the table. Do you tuck when you know?

No?

I mean, look, most of the time I'm not wearing super tight shit, so yeah, and I've got spanks for that. Sometimes I do, but it just depends on what I'm wearing.

Yeah, because this is the secret segment. If you can't be fucked saying in character as Carla, you can do ad to d brief as Ben.

Oh thank god, I'm so sick of carl.

Do you know what I was really surprised about when I first met Carla slash Ben, because like, usually when people do a character, their real voice is completely different. But yeah, you kind of just sound like Carla.

Yeah, I have.

I think like over the years of doing Carla, it's literally just become this thing now where I'll be like, oh, bro or something.

Yeah.

Yes, so it's just a part of me now, unfortunately. Yeah, you know that that's just my life now.

And do they have you as Kyla the whole time on Celeber Prenice or do they give you the day they let you be Ben as well?

I mean I don't know whether I can say, but yeah, yeah I'm Ben sometimes like I would say, like the ratio would be like eighty five to fifteen. I don't know maths, but that is. But like most of the challenges, most of the boardroom was Carla, and then there was a few challenges where I was betten so, which was nice. It gave me a break from doing makeup and gave my skinner break because I was fucking over it.

Yeah, speaking of challenges, do you remember, Mitch them while you were filming Cliberpreentice, we got a I got a message from you and you said, Bro, like I've got to do this challenge or invite he's the friends to come to this event. I have to do. That's one of the challenges on the show. Are you free? And I was like sure, and then it never went ahead. You were like, don't worry. All good, So what happened there?

They just changed They just changed it, okay atally, like production just changed everything every day and it was just hard because of COVID at the time, and get like you had to have like a PCR test and you had to get a rat test one and you had to have been vaccinated. It was like the most horrible thing.

I nearly said no because I had to do a bloody PCR test. So I was like, no, I can't dog Carla.

Every person I asked they were like, yeah, of course. And then I'm like, okay, I need you to get a PCR test today and I'm like, oh, sorry.

Can't remember the days when you had to get PCR tests for events and they took three days to it.

Yeah. Yeah, Like the.

Forward planning involved with that shit is because you came into I was feeling in for breakfast for coming Jack. Yo, you came in and we're a guest on my show for two weeks. We gave you your own segment. It was so funny. You were filming at that point and someone else who is competing at that point came on my show because they needed help. I won't say who it is just in case.

Okay, but yeah, so I will feature.

I'm also on Celebrity Apprentice. Everyone like, I am a celebrity friend.

I think I know who he's talking.

Yes, yes, they came on my show to promote their own event.

Yeah. I know.

Well they wanted to go to the biggest show, so so it's a smart choice. Yeah, true, true, So I'll be on the show at one point. That's exciting my voice.

Hopefully not my voicemail Chipmunk voice. Guys, how are you?

Were telling me the other day because we did an Instagram live together, you were telling me that there was one other celebrity on Celebrity Apprentice that was fucking you off big time. I ran through every single person and you're like, no, I love them, I love them, I love them. I finally got to them, and you're like, that's it, bro, who wanted it again?

So I would say, like, I look, at first, I felt really bad about talking shit about this not talking shit, but just saying how I really felt about this person. But then when all the promos started coming out and I started seeing things I hadn't seen before about them talking to other people saying shit, I was like, fuck this person, bro, I don't give a fuck. So running from the block was a bit bit of a gronk. You will see it. It looks like a gronk.

Tool tools also act your age. He looks like a boomer who doesn't want to age. I know he talks young, dresses young.

But like, I mean, look him and I didn't have any like. It wasn't even like altercations between the two of us. It was just how he was with other people on the show and how he spoke to other people just didn't just didn't vibe with me very well.

So it wasn't like he wasn't targeting you or anything.

Everybody, there may or may not be something in the show that you might have to wait and see. If wait, I was My favorite part about being on that show was when you go obviously, when you finish in the boardroom, you go into like the winner's room, and you get to like, I guess if you win the task, and you get to watch what's happening on TV. Yes, all that kind of stuff. There's always champagn there's always wine food.

Yeah, I didn't.

I didn't understand a word of that very wordy, Lord Alan, sounds like a wartime rating.

Can't bloody believe it? The British it was, that's what it sounds like. Oh see, we're going.

You know what we should do?

You know how.

Carla, you've obviously been Gladys veragically and secretary. And then what other politicians the new The New Guy Dominic.

Dominic PARTI the New Southwales premieres for the International.

You should do a role play where you are calling the new Prime Minister. You're gonna have to do two versions because we don't know who that is yet. And then not be Okay, you be Scott Morrison. You be Carlar Scott Morrison's secretary calling him with the bad news that bro you didn't win.

Okay, yes, okay, so you're my secretary. I don't know what schoma good a.

Yeah, that's not my job, not my job.

Yet, not my job, not my problem. Okay, so I'm just calling you, okay, yeah, ring ring ring ring, Jenny, Jenny, where's the phone? Ring ring? That's the bible ring, that's the bible ring ring.

Don't put it down softly, sorry, ring ring?

Oh, Carla, how are you doing?

ESCO?

What's going on? But I'm good? Thank you, Calor listen, but I've got some bad news. I don't know why I'm holding the sorry, so listen, but I've got Jenny. How's the Gary stir it? Can you listen to me? Bro? You never listen to me. Sorry, broke election night. We're just watching the results. I know I've got the best news in the whole wide world to share with you.

Oh my god, you stop the votes again. Jesus Christ, by.

No, who do you think you are?

No?

The best Jesus Christ is here. Oh jes happened finally, So I just wanted to let you know that you did not win the election. So hold on.

Sorry, that can't be possible.

I'm being dead set serious bray. No, no, we had the Christian vote.

Dam No.

Sorry, stop the votes no one, but I've told you this so many times. Stopped. Nobody likes you. We stopped the gaze. You didn't we got protesting.

I completely fumbled the vas roll out exactly. I'm making young people dip into the completely inflate the market exactly, and have them no money to retire from when they hit sixties.

How could I possibly have lost the election? It's because you didn't let your wife peg you. I think that's why.

But she did on your recommendation.

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. You're gonna have to find another job. Break No, I've got a good in at Hillsong. I think I'll be fine. So how did Jenny political?

You should be like, I've been looking into some openings truitment, Jenny Glass.

If you are looking for a job, I do have some openings. Let me write this down. I'm just checking. Just got my pen. Oh okay, cool? Is that is that a little sugar? I thought it was Jesus christ. I thought, oh, nought that. So they're looking for a trolley person at Cole's at Warringa mall. That's beneath me. It's not really. They're looking for a bathroom attendant at the Four Seasons hotel in the city Color.

No, I can't POSSI. I stopped the boats.

I won't be listen with your expertise in fucking shit up. That's the best you're going to get. Sorry. Actually, I do have one more here, something that's like very very up your allex. Yes, oh great, it's perfect religio. The McDonald's at Engerdine needs a clean up for the bathroom. I told you that didn't happen. It did bring, it didn't apply. I've got the CCTV footage.

Brow I dropped a dirty chie and it got on my pleats and everyone thought that I pooed myself, but I didn't.

I wasn't invented back then. Way laying for you got me en scene.

Wow, I went very political. Sorry, I hate I didn't realize new things.

Yeah, if we don't win a logie for that, upset.

Honest to god that if you're a late voter, I don't know you're hearing this and polling booth is still up and don't vote for Scott Marriston everyone.

How embarrassing if by the time this episode is out, the elections already concluded.

He's not going to listen to this on this imagine if he wins on celebration Jenny put on that Puffts podcast.

I want to hear his take on my win.

What about Albow if he was told you didn't get a bro oh al you.

Know what, I actually don't even know enough about.

That's okay, back on my decks. The DJJ that is so cool him was fantastic.

You just said, scum Albot.

You might be hired or you might be fine.

Honestly, Scott Morrison is an awful He's actually an awful person. Policy aside, that man is for someone who claims to be such a religious nut. He doesn't claim to be a nut, but he just I hate him.

I hate him so much. He always has this fucking smirk on. It's always like one better than you. No, you're not, you suck.

The moment, the moment the nation should have turned on that man is when we had the horrific bushfires ahead. He went down the South coast, and he forced people into a handshake with him, RMS firefighters, he grabbed their wrists.

They even went soot and shook and made it for a press voter.

But it's not I thought that everyone did turn on him at that point, which is why I was so surprised, because around this election time, I thought it would be more obvious that yeah, no, there's no way he's getting in. But I'm like, oh, it actually seems kind of fifty to fifty. I really thought more people would have turned against it.

I was reading a great article that apparently in times of like global stress, and we've got the war in Ukraine and then COVID and it's inflation, it's a really awkward.

Shopping trolleys with coins, disgusting kids, drawings on the wall.

Yes, it's a.

Real were talking about the big issues.

Yeah, I can't send a new anymore.

The general public vote towards safety someone they know, so I would vote towards going because they don't want change. It's already another that's another thing to add on to the stress exactly.

But no, that he's fumbled the last four years. Did you see Tracy Grimshaw roasting last night? No, she posted. There was a video on Instagram I saw of her literally listing. She's like, so you said that you are of the people and you've helped everybody, but you did this and she literally listed like she had the receipt fact, she had the receipts. And then his response was, well, that's a very long list of allegations, isn't it.

Yeah, he does like to say that. He goes that's a very serious allegation, without saying whether it's true or not. She said that serious.

Literally, you went to fucking Hawaii, Broye, you went to go see Mouana while the country was burning down Brook Also, I'm sorry, but I'm.

Queer and you vote for Scott Morrison. Screw your fucking head in that man abstained from the same sex marriage pro side, there were three people in Australia who stained it was him that it was Tony Abbott, was Bob Ganner? Maybe yet I know and hands and he's our prime minister and how can we feel safe? Like what's happening in America. They're repealing v. Wade, which is abortion rights, same sex marriage will be next and then in five

I Scarma, blood better bloody, not Carli, you getting easy.

I feel like I've had so many people say Carlor you should run for prime minister. They said that the other day about politics. Fucking hate politics. That's why I just make sit up.

That's why Mam always goes, you should have been a politics because that you know.

There's Scimo voter.

Scomo is from my electorate, so that is absout. I debated him when I was in high school, face to face. I was school captain and he was a local member. Remember for what's the member when.

For the boats?

He's claimed to stopped the boats transport or immigration immigration, And he came to my school and we debated and he just shut me down.

He like negged me and went, I think that's wrong.

Just completely smug the whole time, flighting Gasolin, which is something that I would never do to anyone.

We have a segment called gas lighting Jenner.

So I have a personal vendnor against it. But all my parents wote for Scara.

You told your parents not to vote for him.

I have told him that I begged them not to Vote'd rather you not vote than both, and Mum goes, you should be a politician, Mitchell.

That's always are out.

She shuts it down.

Anyway, Sorry, that's my rant done for the time.

Now you're right you probably should have spoken.

I wonder how well this rant is going to age, because this episode will come out after the elections, and right now we don't have it. We don't know what the result is yet.

Well, the facts, I mean there's still it's all facts. It's not so, I'm just talking fact.

It will still if he does get voted at, people will be listening thinking, shut up, it's gone. It doesn't matter now, it's a nice finale.

Goodbye, you know, so see your fucking later. I wouldn't want to be your imagine two daughters.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, amen, bye, don't let the door hit your clip on the way out.

Is that what you keep dropping throughout the show? Your clip click?

I've got touch VR clips right, vibrates, I gotta charge it. That's just dots on my clar Avatar movie.

When it is quite impressive how well we pivoted from politics of that and that's the podcast.

That's our talent all right, we should probably go, we should wrap it up.

I'm having fun, Carla, but yeah, we've been actually your Ben now I forgot Yeah you Carlo slash Ben. It's been great having your dat and you gave us a gift.

Yes, we're going to give you a gift.

What is it?

Jenn's drawing is yours? Oh I'm going to put this straight on my garbage win you? Oh good, I'm fla.

It takes a real artist to be self aware exactly.

Yeah, more like spanksy.

I'm a percuss ho. Yeah whoole Vincent van Ho. My goodness.

What other artists are there? Who did the Blue Poles?

Edward Edward muff Instead. I studied art in school, so I'm not That's.

Why I don't remember any of that ship.

There was any subjects I paid attention in in photography and food tech, No maths.

No great I can make a great root thanks to food tech, a great root flower, butter milk. It's just a base of all good sauces. Right, when you make like a cheese sauce, it.

Sounds pretty hard to suck it up.

Actually, you burn the flower, could get lumpy, lumpy. You don't want a lumpy saucer.

Well, I'm very grateful that I learned to julian carrots when I was in hospitality class, because it comes in handy to this day. Dinnerly loved to send carrots. If every fucking recipe, it doesn't matter what it is, there's a bloody carrot in there, you can guarantee, really, Julian, the ship out of that bathroom. Really young, You fucking have no idea why it's spelt like brunois, but it's bruna.

What does that mean?

Quite good with the blade, Jenner noe or two?

Very much?

So, how do you broomsticker? What you said?

Rather, it's too hard to explain, honestly, we'll do another shot.

Carl. We love you thinks for coming. Thank you, I love you guys. To see you next week, right, Mitchell, we'll be back.

So we'll be watching celeb Apprentice.

Yes, yes, guys, we'll watch it. We'll watch it my wins, but we'll watch regardless through the tears. Good, thank you, all.

Right, thanks for listening. Against We'll catch you for pig week next week.

We will, as we say every week, of course, Carl, I just followed my lead in Jenner.

Oh, yes, I forgot. We hope that this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all just too so, so.

It should like, how can we do this every week? We got it, so we do it.

Do it again? Please. We hope that this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all just two percent so.

We did, so we do.

Yeah, that was beautiful.

Thank you, Thanks for listening to to you next week. Idiots.

Bye you Is it just me? A podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast a