#104: When Coombs Met KAK

People do some weird ship.

Would you like to try vape?

Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive?

I think that people.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No?

You know, I had it in the car on the way home and I didn't have a spood, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of a whole. Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adults food bean fingered as an awful sensation.

You haven't been thinking about the right person.

Goodness? May just I'm still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season.

Sorry? Now he is Michulli and Mitchell kub Oh, guess who's back?

Hi? Everyone?

Mitchell komb misdal me too.

You know we joked before eas we were like, oh, if it's a break from each other as well, are we not going to talk? We barely did it?

Turns out it was, Yeah, it was.

That was the last time I'd seen you, and this is the first time I was seeing you since that moment?

Have I gotten more beautiful at the time?

Your hell's denser and.

You could use any adjective in the world, but dense.

Now, I do know if I like that, no one goes to the hairdresser and goes give me something dance.

It's not dense enough to be like pubic hair. Four Wheel Prize keeper Jennets here, can you google the definition of dentse Jenna. She's finally started bringing it the laptop for the googling purposes.

So dense means closely compacted in substance.

Yeah, see it's a compliment. You've got beautiful thick care.

Yeah, oh okay, that's better than dense. Yeah, it's true.

I guess no one's like you want to take my dense dick. It's always thick, you know in the hot talk. Maybe I'll try that out with Hayden. You want me these dense wily do.

You talk dirty to each other on the phone? Because how funny would it be if you called them?

Right now?

I said, Babe, I can't wait for you that you know. Just send him a message right now. Yeah, and just say, babe, I can't wait to come home tonight to your Dnse dick.

Okay, you can see crawl into bed along see our chat. He's just said, I just had a lunch alon. Everyone at works gone. I said, here's my lunch. I haven't had it yet because I've got meetings to do. I'll see you tonight. So this is perfect.

So what do I say?

Note, Well, you really share everything with each other, don't you. This is my lunch, he.

Said a sad face, and I'm having lunch alo, And so I said.

A swim all I work from home if there was someone coming over.

No, no, no, he is back in the office two days a week. Okay, so what should I say?

Just say, because he wrote see you tonight, Yes, I'll see tonight, just say, can't wait to get home and crawl into bed alongside you. And you're Dnse dick. What are you laughing at? Down? It's a beautiful message. I'd be thrilled to receive that. Crawl into bed maybe he lay in bed? Yeah, I said, how.

I to come home tonight and crawl into bed and cut on my guy and he's Dnse Dick.

I send this to oh nice, put the mic back to me out.

Oh my gosh, it's delivered.

Okay, Well let's see what he says to that.

All right, Well, my phone's on, so you're here and everyone. God, I have so much to update you all on since the since the.

Break, I haven't even spoken to either of you about my running with Kerry and Kennelly.

Oh my god, my god.

Should I save that for later? Save it for later, Save it for We're also doing another talkback things today. We are a bit of a fan favorite with you trash bag. So, I mean I just said trash bags wrong podcast? Did you I did? Sorry, that's disgusting, not trash bag.

No, I want to understand that. Of course you have to listen to the show to get that reference.

Man, like the name for our listeners, it's much nicer.

Idiots also, that sort of just came out of nothing, like we really should we name? Should we let them choose their own name?

We call them idiots? Not a bad idea, actually, because in all honesty, I've noticed in recent months that I've had so many people come up to me and say, oh my god, Mitchell, I'm a trash bag. But I've never ever had someone say, guess what, Mitchell, I'm an idiot. People come up and say they listen to the podcast all the time. Okay, just never take ownership of the name idiots.

Oh my god, I have to say I'm an idiot at a bar and I was the idiot because I was out drinking in Sydney with Hayden the other night and I go to the bar and I'm like.

A bit tipsy, so I'm extra extroverted. I was like, oh, this bar or this cocktail much? Do you make these from scratch? Like really being a dick at the bar? But do you have fresh marachina cherries? And then he goes, can I asho you a question?

Yeah? He goes, he miss cherry, He's if the guy behind the bar behind the bar, and.

I go yeah. He goes, Oh my god, I love Is it just me let me let me shout you a drink? This is on me. I oh no, you don't have to do that. He went, Okay, I'm pretty sure there's one more one more? No, no, no, please?

Yeah you got to play a bit of table tennis.

Yeah?

Love it? Back and forth and then eventually he'll go.

Now, he just pulled it right out of the d about paying for my own drink from a fair. But anyway, listening, fuck you, that was the worst NEGRONI I've ever had, Prick. No, I've got some updates too. There's a lot going on, so we'll do a little.

It's been a while. Our Easter break with a bit extended.

It was fun, but I'm good to be back. I've missed you guys.

That was my fault. Sorry I did. We were only going to take a couple of weeks, but then I said, no, I need to focus on my award winning stand up shows.

In the award was the award was?

Sorry? Award winning sellout stand up shows. That's a random floor. I'm guessing that's why neither of you could come to Sydney Comedy Festival, because it was sold I sold out.

The tickets sold out. We can go. Yeah.

Now, I've noticed that my my audience, they leave ship to the last minute. Literally the morning of the show, tickets are at like sixty percent capacity, and then by the nighttime they're sold out, like they leave it to the actual last minute.

Is that what you notice people would buy them the day of.

Yeah, the day off and like I s I go moms in the lead up with the worst ego, thinking oh my god, no one's coming. And then the day off they're like, ah, fine, I will. I guess I can musser up the effort.

Well, if it is your first time listening, this is it just me? We start the show the same way. It hasn't changed in one hundred and four episodes with two Is it just me? Each something that we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. Mitch doesn't know mine. I don't know Mitch, and that's the base of the show. We also haven't Is it just you coming up? It's your chance to get on the shut.

Fab bring the money to other He's going to go first.

I'll go first because this is this is something that happened to me and actually happened to Hayden, but me, because you know, just by association over the break and it's it's actually not very funny, it's a serious.

All right then, all right, change gears, Jann. We've got to take this theoris.

You're about to get a moment. Is it just me?

Oh?

We just replied, sorry, Hayden just replied break, He said sorry in all capitals in sorry what Oh no.

Okay, so no, he's not accustomed to that.

Thought that was coms.

That's so good.

Should we do that again?

Sorry?

One more take? One more take? Is it just me? Are you someone that is extremely calm during emergencies?

Yeah?

Actually yes, that doesn't surprise me.

But I feel like Hayden claims that he's show every time that there's an emergency, and how calm I am.

I'm shocked that you would be calm too.

I'm very calm. I'm very level headed.

I think both in that relationship you'd have to be.

Yeah, I feel like he'd be like No, I think he just you know, he freaks a little bit and I have have no choice but to go into ye. Fight or flight is what they call it.

Yeah, I'm a fighter, like I will stay there. I'm not running off anyway, Hayden. I've actually got some music for this this story. Yeah, Hayden was hacked during the break, just to set the seat.

Social media with hacks.

Oh, everything was hacked. His big pond email was hacked.

I can't believe.

I know he still has a modem. Now.

We were at the movies, right, during the break and going to see I don't know what the fuck it was, everything everywhere, all at once, whatever that film is. And we were waiting in line to get popcorn and Hayden's phone goes off and he goes, oh, that's weird.

What is it?

He goes on my email, I just got Please it's two factor authentication, Like, yeah, use this code. I'm not trying to get in, but it could be something at TikTok. I'll leave it and it gets none of vcation. Two minutes later, your passwords successfully being changed.

Oh no, And then Hayden still it doesn't click that it's a problem. It's like, oy, that happens all the time. What do you mean that happens all the time?

It happened all the time.

I click in to Gear. I freak out. I'm like, well, no, that's that's not normal. Like, give me your phone. I go just try to log into your big pond ghost to log in. His password is incorrect. Someone's changed his password.

Why would they come for this big pond of all things? Yeah?

What am I going to get his Telstra bill?

Yeah?

Big warm. So then he goes, I freak out. I go, we need to call Telstra. So he's on the phone to Telstra and he's on speakerphone and they go, oh, Hayden, thank you for calling back, and we go back, what are you calling back? Well, you just called thirty minutes ago and we fixed the problem with another problem. And we go, no, we didn't call thirty minutes ago.

Like he was freaking and I was just sitting there trying to like guide him through, and they go, yeah, you called thirty minutes ago and you said that you were down down on holidays and you didn't have your laptop or your phone, but you needed to access your password, so they reset.

It for you. Oh that's dodgy, and we were no, no, no, what do you mean And they yeah, but you provided your mum's maiden name, your date of birth, and your email and they change the password to a hacker.

What.

So we go, oh my god, we're freaking out.

How to know the mom's maiden name?

Gets worse. Oh my god, I feel like, what's that girl's name? My m cis.

With all the hair clips, y Abri Levin or something. What's the name Buffy?

I think always in leather and it's always hot in Miami and the boots too. Oh Becky Abby Abby.

Oh yeah, she's the like the forensic one.

Anyway, So then we go, okay, I guess we'll sort that out the next Then I got a text message from a friend, Hey, are you across what's going on Hayden's Instagram? And we go what are you made? So that I run to his Instagram search Hayden not coming out, but they've deleted his profile. Oh no, they've just changed it to mewi monster two three eight seven. I saw that applotted a photo of a club penguin penguin. I had no idea what was going with a wig on with a captured meow?

Are there any suspects at this point? Like do you know who would have done that? That knew the maiden name, knew the data, but.

There was one thing when I went to school with that I didn't see how to ie with. But no one at this point. So he's freaking because you know he works at TikTok his social media like that's a big and their access is Instagram. They deleted like twenty photos, unfollowed me, which was very weird, which is a clue taking that write that down.

So it's somebody who's really jealous of you.

Maybe that's why I generally I haven't spoken since I could.

Be a detective. It is one of the old roots because how wants what to know all these details?

Well, he's the next part.

Then they get into his Facebook and he starts getting notifications on all his social media logging a logging a lot, logging lot.

They're going for everything. They get into his Facebook, change his password.

We're freaking out, and we're trying to call Instagram. We're trying to call Facebook. Then he gets a message from a friend and goes, hey, you need to check your LinkedIn even LinkedIn, even LinkedIn. They went for the jugular.

I wouldn't even think to come for a LinkedIn, So we check his LinkedIn.

This is actually where it gets really bad. They post racial slurs to LinkedIn. They use a bad word, really bad word. Then they post, hey, quitting my job TikTok to become a stripper. I hope my dad's.

Proud of me.

Oh my god, wow, so.

I've got like And then Hayden at the Times going oh, you know, I think they're in my linkedins, and the lady on tell She's going, oh, well, let's just do one thing at a time and I go get her the phone.

It sounds like Hayden was actually the calm one in the emergency.

He was shaking, he was it was trimming.

He was saying, Oh, don't worry about it, it's fine.

Oh yeah. I went full full bowser, like you fix this. I'm like escalating, no worry. So upgrading you to the Diamond team.

The Diamond take you.

So we get in, we changed the password, they change it back like the hacker is doing it in real time.

We're still reeling. Happened a week ago, and I think for about three days we had a hacker hackover. We were hungover from the hack. It was emotionally draining.

I've never been hacked, but a very exciting milestone in my career. The other day, someone made a fake account to try and scam people with my name.

The only fake OnlyFans, no like.

A y on Facebook. They made it looked exactly like my profile, but Mitchell Coomb has had like an umlau on one of the o's or something. And then they went and commented on all my posts, replying to people who had already commented, saying congrats you've been selected, You've won, clicked this link to claim your prize, and I'm like, I do giveaways to random people on baseball.

That's why we didn't talk for the whole three week, bro, because I was talking to Mitchell Umlaud. That makes so much sense. I was messaging you.

No, I think the Umlau on the O would make me Mitchell cums like Osher Gunsberg. Yes, wait, what's it the two dots above the O. Oh is that norm?

Wow? Yeah, ah, Mitchell cums.

Oh he's got the mlail on the U. That's both Osher Gunsberg not Gunsberg.

Oh my god.

So if I did an on the you genuinely don't know what an Omlaud does.

I'd be Mitchell Mitchell Cherry still, Yeah, you give a name?

Can you google?

What does it? Jenna?

Okay?

Anyway, moral of my story, don't hack people, It's not worth it.

Yeah. God, that whole episode came between Cheery and It's Beautiful Popcorn.

Yeah. And I was so excited to see everywhere, all the time, all the ones in the same spot.

Did you actually see it?

No?

God, Okay, you m l a u T. It's German. It's a mark used over a vowel, especially in German, to indicate a different vowel quality. But what vowel quality.

That explained different vowel quality? It just means you think this is you, but fuck up, it's actually a no. It basically just means that the letter it's on top of, ignore that letter. It's something else. Yeah, we learned something new every day.

That's what the podcast is for.

Or I get a message from Mitchell Koon's with an omlam ignorer, it's not me.

And if you're a pengrim with a wig on, fuck off. All right, you're ready for yours Mitchell, Yep, let's go. Is it just me?

Do you feel like you're due for an Instagram unfollowing cleanse? Ah?

Yeah, I did one yesterday.

Really, I did unfollow the Marriot and a Vietnamese restaurant that I used to love.

Yeah.

It always seems like a good idea at the time to follow a business that you're currently at, or like a hotel. You're saying I'll follow them, but then I just get spam from random ship. But it's also people I went to school with. Oh, Like, I feel like I've done many unfollowing ens, but they just keep popping up. There's this girl I went to school with, and I swear she's an arsonist. I think she turned out to be an arst.

Wait, someone that sets fire.

Like a pyromaniac like Jenna, Like she's a firefighter. Yeah, that's what she does. She's a firefighter. But she just posts all these things and she's way too excited whenever there's a fire. She's like, yay, fire call, like selfie in the truck, and she looks so thrilled. And I was going through it the other day and I'm like, oh my god, there's something wrong with you. Like you're doing a very noble job fighting fires, but you just get too excited about the fire party.

Yeah. It's like a detective being like, yeah, homicide, Yeah, exactly.

Dead kid, let me find it. I'll find her Instagram. It's so bad.

So you think she's a secret undercover arsonist.

Oh my god, look at this. She posted a video of the fire.

Oh I forget about that, And.

The caption says, not just a job, it's a passion, love heart. Shouldn't you be putting it out?

Oh my god? So I love that. There's no reference to whether or not the fire is the passion or putting it out? Is the passion?

Yeah, that's the thing. That's what's made me so sass.

And also she had time to film the fire.

She stopped putting it out, that fire was blazing house.

She posted a photo of a fire fighting informant says, getting ready so excited another fire call.

Oh no, she did it.

Yeah, she just gets way too excited whenever there's a fire.

And do you like these posts?

Look at this?

What is it? What?

Okay? So she posted this in August, which I believe that means it was winter, so fires were less of a problem than during summer. And she's used the song burn by Ellie Gully posted a video of a fire and she just says, miss this.

She's like missing this.

She's an arsonist.

She starts fire.

I think she starts them so that she can go put them out.

So yeah, I think that's evidence. Mitch.

Yeah, like, miss this a video of a fire.

You can't post that.

My god, it's so cooked.

Oh that's goals.

I'll look at this. She's posted a video of the fire end and the lights on top flashing, and she just captions that my kind of disco lights. Oh so like this is her idea of a party? Yeah, you're getting kicks out of this? Should I unfollow right here? Right now?

Yeah?

Do it? I back it? No, Actually I want to keep seeing this.

Actually really you.

Want to follow her and send me her profile follower?

And to look at this just standing next to a log on fire my calling put it out?

Is it just me? That's enough of these two? Look? Now let's hear and is it just you?

All?

Right?

Time for an?

Is it just you? If you don't know what this is? Right? So we just did too? Is just means of our own mention and we give you the opportunity to be a little co host on the show and you can send it And is it just me? Of your own?

We call them?

Is it just you? Something you've noticed? Something you hate or appreciate? You can hit us up on socials?

Yeah, are in Instagram? Is that couple of miches? And I'd like it if you come on the phone. That's my preference, so I can ask questions. But is it a voice message?

Old live call combs an option.

If you just want to send a voice message, but I'd prefer to chat. It's a bit more fun.

Not ever on a consummate live radio pros like us.

When have we ever had a dud caller? They've all been dope. They're all fun, they all.

Have been very good, actually a good call.

All right, let's go. This is Caitlyn.

She's sending her Is just you?

Is it just me? Or when you're in a rush to be somewhere on time you get every single red light, or if you're running late by even thirty seconds, every single red light to make you like ten minutes later.

It's not just you, Katie.

I hate that. It makes me so tense. You know, do either of you do that thing where like you diggle your leg when you're feeling a little bit Yeah. Oh, Whenever I'm in traffic and it's slow moving, my leg goes wild company not only accelerator I no, no, no, no,

Always a day that I'm running late that it's clogged, Always it's always the time with the days when you've got nothing on and you've gotta be somewhere. You get there twenty minutes early because you have the best run there's no cars on the road. Yeah, but when you're stressed you've got to be somewhere. It's the orange lights that get me because it's like you want to go through them, but you know you can't. You just got to slop.

You've ever gotten the red light camera?

Yeah, heaps of times. Yeah, I'm on one point. I think I've announced that, right, I've.

Got way many times. Yeah, he's still on point, but I do definitely. I don't bitch it. Like if it's orange, I'll fucking fang it and get through there. God, but if it's like if I know that, I'm not going to make it, I'm pretty good at reading it.

I'm so I'm a good driver.

I'm very like I just know what I'm doing, Like I can go in and out of lanes, I swerve like I don't waste any time. I'm not dangerous, I don't speed, but like I'm just I'm always thinking about how I can get there quicker. So Hayden, I think he can't drive he has learned these bad habits, so whenever he's in the car with anyone else, he's like, fuck, this is a slow.

Fuck, you're a slow and we can weave. Yeah, what's going to happen when you do eventually lose your license? Not if it's not going to get if you're gay, fact, I can't drive. You're fucked, Like, how are you're gonna get anywhere?

It's ambiguous that you can't drive. But we went out clubbing the other week. We went to Puffed Off.

Sorry. Yeah, wow, I'd never thought i'd hear those words come from your mouth.

I don't know what's going on, but I got recognized twice and one of them said, you're my second favorite Mitch.

Oh, good girl.

I don't know who it was puffed Off, Thanks, Yeah, it was puffed Off.

Yeah, because I thought I dead there.

I'm in my social area everyone. I love it. Okay, But Slater was performing, who's one of Hayden's favorite artists. He's American and she was in town, so I bought him tickets. It was a cute thing, so we wan any of this girl goes, oh my god, you're my second favorite Mitch, and I'm pretty sure, Mitchell Kombs was here. I slapped his ass at the bar. Or it could have been a woman. They didn't turn around. The music's very loud at those Well, I.

Definitely was, and I haven't been there in like a couple of months. So sorry to that poor girl that got spanked without consent to self.

Yeah, her phone was dead. I'm like, are you all right? People at clubs are not all there.

Anyway, we got a puffed off and Hayden goes to show his photo card like a toddler. Anyway, the card was expired, so he now has to get a new photo card or I go, this is the perfect opportunity.

Just get your l's.

Because he's got to go to the RTA, he's got to go and answer all these questions. I go, just get your l's. It's one of those things that I'm saying it. It really helped me because I can. I'm always designated driver. I drive everywhere, like help me think of me. So that's like the angle that I'm going for.

I'll back you up. If push comes with shave, I'll say, your boyfriend, it's not living his life.

Thank you.

Yeah, loser, Hayden a loser.

Oh, yes, yes, you can be character witnesses, like when someone is being charged with heinous crimes and they get like an old UNI lecturer to go back in school.

Jamie was a professional. So you can come to our meeting.

Definitely fascinating. Yeah yeah, so we should we do talk back things now?

Yeah, I think it's ready. Yeah.

So talkback teams is where we bring you some of the cooked shit that we hear on talkback radio. Because it's it's live, it's dangerous. You get these squirky old callers calling through to those places. And do you remember back in episode fifteen and so we're going back a while, we played you the time that a bunch of people banded together to sabotage Graham Gilbert's nightly quiz.

Oh we're talking India, yep, India.

Every question he asked, every single question he asked, they would answer with India just to piss him off.

Which Australian gymnast one Commonwealth Games gold in nineteen ninety for his performance on the pommel Horse India.

Are you Marcus grow up whatever? Yeah, grow up?

Good on you boys are going to be one of those nights, Robert, good.

Evening, Hello Graham how are you not too bad?

You'll have a sensible answer, aren't.

You get megaphone?

Oh? And please, no more please? That was in our show opener for a while and it was iconic to I have you ever.

Heard a more defeated man? Now?

Please? I know you never think about talk back that. I don't think we've ever addressed.

Like these guys, they have to time out to the hour for the half hour for the news, so they sometimes have to feel minutes of audio of dead air just to make it out to the news break. So you just the shit you have to come up with. It's a tough job.

But although it's not that hard to get through to Graham show. So that's why so many prank callers slip through the crack he does, like we tried it once through. He didn't even vet us. He just put us on air, straight to air, didn't even ask our name off air. Yeah, so he's quite used to prank calls at this point, and he's got quite a short views when it comes

Oh you think it's a dot Wigan scenario.

It is very dot Wiggans. You can just tell by the voice that it's not a real person.

It is.

And the sultan in the sea eleanor is it.

Answer for the saltiness.

Of the ocean?

Yes, my grandson told me he was looking it up on the internet.

All right, because of all the seamen?

Is that your answer is all the seamen.

In the ocean makes them salty?

Thirteen twelve sixty nine. We will totally ignore that answer, okay, because I just wish these people wouldn't phone up and put on Boddy voices. Alrighty, they think they're going to get away with it, but please, do we need to say it one more time? We do take all of your numbers and is an offense? Okay? Is an offense the Communications Act?

Shut up, horse, I just don't think that's true. J Can you look up the Communications Act? It's offense to prank call someone? Because I really don't think it is. We do it all the time.

I have to do radio codes once a year. And no, you could call us have no legal binding, right, they can do whatever they want.

It's just so easy and so fun to get through. And I just love his overreaction. Yeah, like, oh please, we'll just totally ignore that. I have another example. Yeah, well Graham, right, No, it's not Graham. This is This is a show in Melbourne on three a W. And they were on the receiving end of a filthy prank call and their reaction, Oh my god, they overreacted so much. It's like, oh, laugh a little darlan.

Oh they were angry.

Oh they were furious. Okay, So this is a three a W in.

Melbourne Night Lion with Bruce Mansfield and Philip Brady on twelve seventy eight, three a W Newport.

Toby's at Newport. Hello Toby, Hi Bruce, phil Yes, Toby, how are you cool?

Good?

Thanks?

I have a joke.

Yes, what's the funniest smelling thing in the whole wild world.

The funniest smelling thing in the whole wide world?

Caps your nose? Howna?

What was it?

An anchovy?

Oh?

What a pity? Toby, Never call us again. Play never in your life even think about it and think, all right, we've dumped your Toby, But there are people like Carmen and Queenie online and could hear that in the ear And we heard it, and Simon heard it, So you're ruined for all of us. Toby. If you've ever thinking of tuning in again, just don't get a life and Toby, grow up.

Grow up. Carmen and Queenie.

I found an answer to all the communications. So threatening to kill or cause serious harm to someone is considered a criminal offense.

Of course.

Oh my god, Jenna, do you think we didn't know that. Even that's a brand new information.

Drowning a human will send you to prison. Oh good to know.

No behead on your mother in law or even threatening to do so.

And if the pranks doesn't threaten their victim, repeated calls can amount to harassment, stalking, or bullying. So that person wasn't doing no committing an offense.

God, that call was hilarious. They were so upset.

Do you love how as soon as he said an anchover his c word you just heard the hosts in the background be like, yeah, like turning all the buttons.

Oh God, that's so funny, good joke. I'd have heard that one before. That's fresh good.

Well, yeah, I was going to suggest that we get dot Wiggins your eighty year old ninety year old I can't remember how old you're your alter ego, the old lady that comes out to play every now and then, because we haven't heard from dotting a beer, no, I miss her. I was going to suggest that we call a station and try and get through. But if it's repeated prank call, that's like maybe that is we'd have

We could call an FM station.

Oh that would be way harder if it's an FM music station.

Yeah.

True, but you have to call and basically use a dirty word and see if they even notice.

Oh, like slip in because you know.

How she said the streaman in the ocean. That was like a double what's the word? Yeah, because she was referring to men of the sea, men at sea, which is the men, but she tied it in with the saltiness. So it's actually dirty. So we need like a hidden meaning.

What if I talk about the fact that my pussy won't stop itching and I think she might.

Have mine, that's toos, not even life.

Yeah, smaller than lies, like.

Words that sound dirty, beaver bever fever.

Oh, beaver's good.

I don't think we even have beavers in Australia though, so that's too obvious.

No, we don't.

Maybe I can just say that I've got suddenly I've been I'm fascinated with beavers.

And it's very late in life because I haven't normally been interested in beavers. But I watched something on Telly.

What about the word rump?

Now I want more voge, like it needs to be like I could say, like a butthole, like fanny Fanny flange. What's flange?

Mat?

Oh my god? Flaps?

Oh, flaps is good.

Hi, I'm calling them having issue with my flat. But what could you actually be talking about? Obviously not your badge When i'd.

Flaps on, I've got a four wheel drive, flaps It just no matter how much I clean them, they have it in grime and grunt and it stinks. Let's go with flaps. Oh my god, I like flaps.

I've heard otherwise about you. What about like we're using flaps, but you're actually talking about flapper jacks like the pancakes. You're like when I come home. My my husband loves to Nora on flaps. But I'm just having some trouble. The flaps are too dry.

Oh yeah, flapper jacks.

Is that too much of a like? I also don't think it's flap jacks. I think you're mispronouncing that. I think it's flapjacks. Oh whatever, you upset the Canadian, Yeah, flapjacks.

Like you, you have this whole narrative that you like to cook your husband pancakes when it comes home from work every day, but you're having problems with the flaps.

The flaps.

Yeah, okay, I like that that worpened.

There's nothing more he enjoys more after a long, hard day at work than my flaps, some moist flaps.

Yeah, and what I just start with them having some meritable problems and then because I don't want to lead with the flaps, because that'll that'll be a red flap, maybe.

Red fla maybe when you speak to the producer or whatever, you say you've got a cooking question. Yeah, on who's even on it?

I'm looking now, who's on air?

Oh okay, so same station as Graham and John Law's Brent Bultitude. Oh yeah, I don't think he'd be hard to get through too. What's the number, let's try thirteen twelve sixty nine famously, Oh.

Yeah, of course, all right, let's call shit. Don't get me.

Yes Siper radio and it work. Who's calling me?

Sorry?

You're talking to me?

I can't hear that?

Does that mean no?

No?

No?

Certainly not dot D dot Brent?

A bet.

I've been with my beloved husband four years and they're having marritable issues and I just wanted to see to stick it through.

Or is it too late in life to throw away? It won't be long?

Hold on, make the payments. You've got serious problems, absolutely serious problems ahead of you. Brian is next time? Brian?

There we go?

How are you, Brian?

How's the left eye?

The left eyes? Fine, it's the right eye that had caused me all the problems.

His name? What's this guy's name?

Brent?

The hostess branch?

You just confidently call him Kent and I quite frank or.

He does quite frank? Hurry up? What's this? What's the call?

His name again? Brian or something? Ryan? Phil?

Come on, Brian, boring story.

Here on the campaign.

I love your head and make you back here, knew, how you go.

You can't let anybody know that, Kenny, He's gotta You've got to carry. Thank you for you God?

Oh oh yes, sorry Trance, you have conjunctiontis do you?

No? No, no, I wish I did because I could get over that.

What do you What do you have in your eye?

I had a detached in my right.

Eye that awful milk will fix the side.

Fix milk will fix it.

Skim milk, skim milk. And you put it in, no sid you.

Put it in, put it in a milk detachment, you put it in? How can I help you don't? What would you like to say?

We the cap of the milk and you put your eye, you roll you right back anyway. I look, I'm not having a maritable problem. But I've been with my daughter's husband, Brian for forty forty forty five years, and I'll cook him dinner every night. He seems to enjoy it in it and he seems to enjoy tea and make him sweets. I make him food and making savory food, and he

Not happy.

Cheering.

Let's take a break.

If it's we're go.

On, I think they hung up when you don't hang up on me, Let's take a break. Oh my god.

Oh he didn't want to borrow it.

No, I think you want to subtle enough.

I really didn't weave it inner. I meant to be.

I cook him a beautiful stack of flaps, like you know, it could be something else, but you just went right.

And when he got the black my drive laps, I got distracted by the eye. You know what. I felt bad because the poor bus it has a detached retina. And then here I am being a bastard to him, and then I called him Trent and his friend listening on Spotify, don't forget to leave a five star of eating.

You're listening to?

Is it just me?

Okay?

But a housekeeping to do? Actually for our first show back since we've returned from break.

Yeah, we've had a bit of time off, so we've got a few things to follow up on.

Don't Yeah, it's just really just tying off some loose ends, so correct.

Yes, I've got a quick one.

Actually we didn't talk about this the street lights, you know, the gorgeous streetlights. I spoke about the last episode at Sydney Airport street light.

It's hute.

My best friend from high school, Jack William Fuller, was the architect behind the lights.

O small world. I know I knew how like them for a reason with he like your best friend and best for our school captain.

He was vice captain best friend.

And you clearly didn't keep in touch afterwards because like you didn't even know what he did or living. He's an architect.

To be fair, a light post architect doesn't exactly excite anyone, but no, he like designed the layout of the new Sydney Airport and he messaged me like these are mine.

I'm like, wow, I just casually I did.

That and my babies because I knew you'd love them. So anyway, that's a little tick that off, that's a that's the lights tick. Oh I've got one more, one more piece of bullshit?

Get this. Yeah, I'm enraged.

And this came across my feed. Was it last episode or a couple episodes before we went on break? I brought to you the Australian Bananas.

Advert oh yes, you wanted to be the new post boy for Australian Bananas because they were who were they reaching out to. They were doing sponsored content with Jessica Rowe, Oh yeah, a TV presenter, and we were basically putting our hand up and saying, hey, if you want to sponsor our podcast, we will sing bananas praises exactly.

And I don't even to be honest, I don't even fucking like bananas, but I would have done it for a check.

Because they did. They did knock us back politely. They said, there's nothing in the pipeline, but if you know, we'll think of you for any opportunity.

They didn't leave us on scene. They replied and said no thanks, thanks, but no thanks. They've announced who the next banana ambassadories.

The next collaboration. Yes, yeah, they.

Picked the face of Australian Bananas.

You know, when you do one brand deal, that doesn't make you the faith of that company.

Because this prick, this right prick, is wearing a banana show, not jessic Herow. They have chosen Australian nobody, Rob millsy Meals to do the face of Australian Bananas. Get a load of this. He put this on his Instagram a couple of days ago. Ready, good old rob Cereal.

I love them on my toast, I love them on my pancakes.

I love them in a loaf or a muffin or a slice.

I start, I'll wear them as a costume.

Now he's singing, that's nice. I love them in a smoothie. I eat them on the guard.

But I always leave one banana for when I put on a shirt.

So this National Banana Day, grab a carry yoki banana.

Whatever you think make your body see. I created the fucking banana jingle. And not only did they pick him over me. Sorry really personally you guys were involved, but they got him to sing.

That's just their jingle on all the age, isn't it there.

The first part where he's rhyming and everything.

Oh yeah, there's another one he put out. I'm not going to play it, but he's playing the piano with a banana in hand, singing into it like a microphone.

He's wearing a banana shirt and everything. Good old Milky.

You could have done that.

I could have done that, and I did it. I've done it for free. I'm living and you know what I'm boycotting bananas, and I want everyone to join in. Bought hashtagg and boycott bananas.

I mean I already told you that. After you were banging on about bananas. I've been reminded of my love for them. I have one for breakfast every morning. I had one today.

Will sadly that was your last banana More bananas generally. I know you've got a vibrator that's in the shape of banana. You're gonna have to throw it out.

Everything banana going about just because you're that jealous of Rob Mials.

I'm not jealous of Rob Mills. Good for him forgetting check. Let's be real, couple of years since he's had some work.

Hey, he was. He was wonderful in Ghost to the Musical. What are you laughing at it?

I'm sure I loved it.

It was very moving.

Oh, I'm sure you boycopp and artist everyone, and you know what, I'm picking a new fruit. What I'm doing it here now? A fig will never do me wrong.

Australian figs.

I want to be the face or the voice of Australian figs.

Well, yeah, I I feel like you need an underdog. That would be quite grateful for some exposure like that. The figs a bit more, you know, obscure. Can you google Australian figs? Do they have like a board a lobby? I actually don't think I ever really know what a fig is.

I love a fig they're plumping, they're around look a bit like me, to be honest.

What about a what's that fruit? That sounds like condom? But it's not. It's like a quondon Oh that come quite? My nun needs to have a quondong tree or something outside of a head.

A quaker tree.

No, no, it's literally I'm sure it's like quondong or something.

I don't think that's right.

It is Google it q u a n do o n with a quandong tree outside her house?

I stand corrected.

I've got some sad news. What what what there's no Australian fig company.

Okay, what about the quondongs?

Google? All right? Send me in your fruits, guys.

I want, I want, I want people to tell me what fruit they think I should be the face off.

Just make a decision, now, go with your gut.

I want to be the face of Australian pamelos.

What's a pamela You made that up, didn't you, Jenna, Google and you thought quondong with ma, that's probably what we.

Need to do. We need to go for an obscure fruit.

Like you said, that's not getting much loved by the masses, not the apples, not the Narnies, not the AVOs fruits that no one knows that Maggie beer or a rabbit on about it at luncheon.

Well, there's lots of things you can do with quondongs. They're more of a dessert fruit. It's like you put it on top of a pavelover, I've got it. Custard apple, Sorry, a custard apple.

Have you had a custard apple.

I've never even heard of a custed apple.

It's a fruit. Oh they're full of custard.

Oh that really they're full of custard. Are you sure that's not man made?

No?

I want to be the face of Google Australian customer apples.

Jenna, O, my god, okay, do they have a board?

That's all we need to know?

Custard apple dot com dot are you you just say, oh my god, oh my god.

If they've got a website, they've got a pr agent my, oh my god, I've got it, Joy, Jenna, that's a gorgeous website.

No, that that website is so polver. I don't think they've got much marketing spend. That's perfect.

That's why they haven't put out a search for the face of custod Apples. And if I come to them, I'm helping them out.

Why do we do the email right now? Jenna? You can dictate?

Yeah, I've got contact us.

Are you serious?

Yeah? Okay, what about the subject line to be the face of Custard Apple, the face of what about you make the subject line just I can help?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, Sweet, I don't get their attention.

Yeah, you're right, I can help.

Okay, deer is bored, dearest chairman or woman as a lover.

And JESSU top quick. I don't even think guys help me out.

I reckon. You should really lean into the I can help thing. Not enough people know about custody Yeah, you're right. Start from my friends getting right here by my side in our award winning in the studio for our award winning podcast. Didn't even know about them.

Yeah this is good, Yes, this is good. Custard Apples have a problem, and I can help. I sit here in the studio great one of my number one award winning iHeartRadio podcast, and to my shock, my DAFT co hosts were unaware of the treasure and delicacy that is a custard Apple. I can help. Yes, Yes, you.

Want your name out there, custom Mark, I can help. You want more people eating your food?

I can help.

I think you do need to at some stage really make it off with what you're asking, like you need an ambassador. I can help.

I can help.

I can you want to drive results for your fruit sales? I can help.

Please contact me to discuss how I can help.

Even better.

Right, and then you can put my email address in yep. You know the email address, yep, and then go for gold Genna.

Send it hang, I just read it back Jenna to make sure we've got everything.

Yep, dearest Chairman, chairwoman. Custard apples have a problem and I can help. I sit here in the studio of my number one award winning podcast.

Isn't just me?

To my shot, my DAFT co hosts were unaware of the treasure and delicacy that is a custard apple. I can help. You want your name out there? I can help. You need an ambassador. I can help. You want to drive results for your fruit sales, I can help. Please contact me to discuss how I can help.

And okay, that is housekeeping done for the face of Fruit.

Now another thing we wanted to follow up on is my my run in with Kerry Ann. Let me just say it right off the bat sucked in, bitch, I beat you. You were having a competition who can get a reply first, Patty Newton still leaving you on red. But I got to mingle with Kerry Anne face to face.

So I won't tell me how that even came about.

So I, by the way, if anyone that listens to this podcast is also a trash bag, you've already heard this story. I do apologize. Matt really wanted to know. I wanted to save it for this podcast. So I was going to this party, and I went along, and I got to the entrance and I was getting my name checked off on the guest list. As I'm scanning for my name to find it, I see Kerry Anne Kennerley, Oh my God, among other peace people, Coschi, Kylie, Gilly Lee, Sales, Mark Burretta got it the whole fan.

But it was a network party.

Yeah. It was the farewell party for the EP of Sunrise that was leaving. Yeah, Michael, and I saw Kerry Anne was on the list, and I thought, oh, fuck me, I'm about to have a run in with carry Anne. And she wasn't ticked off yet, so I knew that she hadn't arrived at the event. But I went upstairs and I'm like, oh god, I'm just bracing for it. She's going to appear at any moment, And when she did,

Do you freak out? Did you freak Were you scared?

No?

Because I just knew I had to do this because, as you know, she's been a bit of a bit of a meme on our show for a long time. We've had a bit of a love hate relationship with her, haven't we.

Oh god, yeah, we Honestly, we really had.

Nothing against her until she was a little bit rude when we were interviewed on Studio ten.

During our live cross and I more than a little bit. Yeah.

Well no, like I said to you at the time, I'm like, I don't think she was being rude. She was just being Kerry Anne. She's no, yeah, she was being a devil's advocate. That's what she always does.

Yeah, it's like flying back and telling a peasant that my TV's broken. They don't understand that technology.

So this is what happened in that Studio ten interview. If you knew here with Larry and Kylie.

No, I fully take that back. I believe it was Kerry Anne's labrador the day I was watching, and that was in thralling television, So I take it all back, Golden Retriever. Sorry, Kerry, I'm so sorry. You just speak, you speak.

So you're trying to earn a living and you're doing a podcast.

Yes, I'd love it that third. Yeah, So Mitch took that personally, and then we just decided that, yeah, from now on, she's our nemesis. Yeah, she didn't know that, but we just decided, yes, she's our showing nemesis. And so I saw her there and I was like, I gotta do this, I gotta do this for our idiots. I got to talk to her. So I said, carry Anne, do you remember me? You interview you on Studio ten,

And then the photo was gorgeous too, very high on the flash you saw all of her inperfections.

So we got the photo and I felt a little bit bad and knowing that I did it in sort of a mocking way, because she did stand there for like fifteen to twenty minutes and kept chatting with us, which is nice. You know, she was being present, giving us the time of day, although I could tell just by looking into her eyes that she was thinking who the fuck are these people and fuck they're weird, like we were being so.

Also, it wasn't like a public event. These were all friends of Michael. The man was leaving, so she shouldn't really be fangirls. Also, I hate to say, but I think it would be a rarity that Kerrianna stopped and.

Asked for no I think of it happened all the time, because really, people that aren't listeners of the podcast that asked me about it later they were like, oh my god, you met kerry Anne. Like people were excited for me. They didn't realize that I was doing it as sort of an inside Joe the icon. Yeah, and that's what I've realized after taking that photo is that, oh, she's actually still beloved by a lot of people, because they were like, that is amazing that you met her. I

Which are now going to be in her inbox. Yeah, what do you unset them?

They would have been moved from message requests into primary to each other. Yeah. One of them in particular is bad, the most recent one. This is when I got a bit cranky that she wasn't replying. This was it, carry Inn, Why don't we play a game of Hide and guys seek. You're in, so just go and hide and don't come out till I find you. One, two, three, there we go. Yeah,

That's right.

You don't say nice to meet you, you say nice to see you, to see you. And she also reposted the photo to her Instagram story and put a love heart emoji. Oh and I was like, I think I'm friends with carry Inn now, yeah, I think we're friends.

Yeah, I think officially yeah.

And then over coffee we confirmed, yeah, we're friends. Now. She had me over to Pat the Labrador. Did she's golden Retriever? Yeah?

Yes, lovely. Oh my god, look at you and Carrie.

We're pals now. So no more carry in jokes on this show, do you hear me?

Yep?

None.

I'm happy with that deal. Why can't we try and book her as a guest. If you're so good friends? Such good friends? That could be full circle?

Oh my god, maybe I take advantage of it. I message her and go, carry Ina come on the show, because now have to actually get it and listen to it because we're close personal friends.

Do it? Do it? Bring the labradors in, sorry, and she can come in and sit in the studio and we can. I don't know what we'll talk about, anyway, Let's try and get carry in on.

Why don't you a m I can't tell if you're joking or not.

I'm being serious. I love to have it's full circle.

I'm not doing it now, I'll do it later.

Okay, let's forward.

What if she does that thing that everyone does when you're invited on a podcast and you go listen to their most recent episode and you hear this. What if she hears this?

Yeah, you're right. Well, we also replayed the moment that she broke her fibia over and out from maybe sixty episodes.

And then we commentated it every time she fell from the trapeze in our show opener. We'd go right close to home. We can't invite her on she knew that.

That's true. That's like listening to a true crime podcast about the Zodiac killer then inviting the Mardy. Yeah, let's not do it. I think it's too dangerous.

She's banned for life.

I think so, even though she's a friend of the show. Now we can refer to her as a friend of the show, no longer villain. She's her slate is clean, but she is banned from the show.

Yeah, you can't ReadWrite history her own good exactly. Carry into and one more thing I want to follow up on before we get out of here. Yes, I'm pretty sure. Right before we wrapped up for Reesta, you put the call out there, you said, hey, can anyone do with Mitchell Kumb's impression? Did anyone even bother giving it a go?

Oh?

Yeah, I know.

I'm unimpressionable. I knew it.

No one could do it. No, it's.

Why did you do a tick for that's.

Because we've updated you that would yeah, oh yeah true. Actually that was wrong.

Yeah, I Actually it's frustrating because I do want to hear someone try and do an impression of me. But I love that no one is confident enough in their impression because it's's impossible.

It's hard.

If you can, We're not going to just not play it. If you do have a bang on Mitchell Kumb's impression, get on the show. Messages Joored Lark very tough.

It is hard.

I can't give it a go.

Why don't you give it a go Jenna?

Why don't you give it a Jenna.

That's insulting, that's horrendous.

I didn't have practice time, true.

Look if you made me sound really flemy, i't blocked her.

No, she held her nostrols clothes.

You who sound like a pit squeaze trying to do a deeper voice.

No, it don't work deeper. All right, Ye, good to be back. Everyone, get back home, back where we belong. On the show one, Mitchell Kumb's favorite podcast.

How's your how's your guestbooking going?

Well, I didn't answer that question. This is your favorite podcast?

Oh you made a statement, and I just thought that everyone assumed that was true.

There was a good thank you guest booking.

I do hit us up with suggestions on what we should call you, apart from idiots.

Yeah, I feel idiot's very it's negative. We want something positive.

As a podcast tour. I can confirm that just Idiots has not caught on in the same way as trash Bags has.

Does that mean we're gonna have to rename our secret Facebook group?

Oh yeah, fuck, well, maybe we're in too deep.

No.

Look, if we get a really good suggestion that clicks. Why don't you guys send them through the.

Next week we can sive through the options and we can we can try some out, because.

Like trash bags is a play on trash alley. But you can't just pick one word out of is it just me and use that.

Just meanies to the meanies.

The meanie You've got to imagine someone coming up and saying, oh my god, you're Mitchell. I'm an either it just mean it too long, like I'm a trash bad.

I'm an that's tough.

What about you just take the ears from is it just me? I'm an insect?

O in the earsect?

Or a buddy I'm an insect?

What about a mebian from me? Look, if you name yourselves, guys, idiots might be the best option.

Maybe a plan on couple of mitches.

I'm a bitch. I'm a bitch. No, that's insulting. Again, We've gone from idiot to bitch.

Why don't we call our listeners convicted sex offenders. I'm a consected sex.

I don't think that I'll catch on. No, I'm Mitchell. I love your show. I'm actually an international terrorist suspect.

Thanks for listening. International terrorist aspects. We'll catch you next week.

Just Me a podcast by a couple of miches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast.

Welcome To add brief that was a secret segment on the end. Well, I was wondering, it's exciting to get a bit convicted sex offendery of me if I go Welcome to. It's a secret segment on the end. We pretend that the show's over and then we just hang out with our favorites. But it's not our interim idiots. Yeah, yeah, we call them idiots in the interim.

Yeah.

Because it also just rolled off the tongue for me earlier. That's why I accidentally said trash bags.

Yeah. I know something will come, something will come out of this, well, something dense. God, I can't believe I a dot bungled the flaps line.

She just went straight out there with my husband misses my pussy, Like I essentially just said on live radio, my husband is used to having a wet pussy.

I know, like it was meant to be innuendo. You basically just said fuck my MutS dry.

I got so caught up with a milk chat.

Yeah, but I think you redeemed yourself with.

The milk Chat. I agree, I agree you seemed to love it. But the poor fuck with a detached right now, I don't.

Even know what that means. Can you detach your retinas? I have a visual?

Isn't what makes you see? Does it detach?

That is it falls off?

Yeah? It must stick.

Oh it's disgusting. Meant everyone just wins at the same time.

God, that's awful.

Yeah. So any who have either of you watched Heart Stopper yet that Netflix show?

No, it's meant to like it's like a gay awakening story, right or a gay love story.

Wouldn't gay awakening. It's just something that I feel like if you're gay, it's mandatory to watch. It's kind of like please like me. Everyone just watched it, you know what I mean?

Yes?

Yes, and it was fine. It was a good like hangover show. Put it that way, right, Like I wasn't hung over when I watched it, though, and I binge that thing in one day, which I never do.

Yeah, like it's a sin. Remember with Holy Years that.

Was yeah, but that it's that bit less depressing because that was all about HIV A Oh good, But this one Heart Stopper on Netflix. It's all about like, it's just cute.

Yeah, it's just.

Like a little gay and he falls in love with the straight rugby player and then the rugby player ends up. Everyone happened it. It's so obvious what it's about. I don't know.

I don't know.

Is it like loves Simon?

But yes, and then the rugby player has to you know, grapple with his sexuality and come out to his mum and all that stuff, and then it's gorgeous. But then, yeah, I was just pretty furious away from that show.

Was she okay?

Well? The mum was played by Olivia Coleman. I like to call her Queen Elizabeth. Yes, I can't unsee you from the ground. Yeah. A lot of my friends said that they cried real tears in several episodes. I didn't get that far. I was like, oh, yeah, this is sweet, it was heartwarming, but I was also fucking seething. I was like, through you for having that experience. Yes, underage clowns. Yeah, this is not what coming out is meant to be. And I'm meant to find someone that likes you back that easily.

Yeah, coming out is meant to be disgusting and traumatic.

No, shut up, you're just as bad. You were the same.

Now, my coming out wasn't great.

I found a boyfriend before you came out.

Yes, but that's what made me.

I've come out of the closet and been like, I'm out, I'm available, and everyone's been.

Like and.

That show just made me feel so single. It also did feel a little bit inappropriate because they were the characters were only like fifteen or sixteen, and I was like, that's below the age of consent. So obviously there's no sex scenes in it, but maybe in season two. I don't know.

Was it insinuating that they had sex.

No, not at all. It was literally just cutesy, like holding hands and kissing and shit, that's all it was. And it was gorgeous. That's cute.

I'll watch it.

I've just blotted anything with the word heart stop, heart stop in it because of my heart related honest, I just starting to be triggered.

So I didn't come up.

With my manifesting. If you watch heart Supper, yeah, like you think that's a hard supper, you try what I have a dinner last night, I just lid to the bottom of the KFC bucket that greased with Gordgeous.

Everyone's like, I loved heart Stop and when did you get my discharge? Yes, I'm watching Ozark. I've just finished this, the series finale of Ozark, and I know there's a lot of Ozark fans out there. It's got a cult following. That show is weird. I don't know what other shows fall into this category, but there is so much like gravitas around Ozark and so much talk and the show is pretty basic.

It's actually not actually about oh, money laundering, drug smuggling, drug cartoon. It's like a boring, breaking bad.

No, it's a good shot, Jenna. The ending, have you seen it?

I haven't seen the ending.

I won't ruin it for you.

I've only seen the first part.

Of And you know they've done mitchell last season two parts.

Yeah, I hate that, so they've dropped.

It's one season, but it's two parts and they waited six months in between dropping them.

Did they do half the amount of episodes in each past?

I hate that same.

I've only watched that first half.

Okay, well it's just lack lesser. Sorry, but it's not worth it. And it made me think, Fuck, why did I put any time into this?

At all.

The first half was quite good.

Yeah, well, I'm glad that you've said that, because now I'm not going to go and watch it. I have no fomer hearing you talk about Ozach, but you have to go watch Stopper.

I will watch her Stoper. Hayden and I will watch it.

I'm surprised Hayden hasn't already. He seems quite you know, on the scene in the gay world. Yeah, he's quite up to date with that shit. Now.

I got home the other night and he was watching the Olivia Rodrigo documentary for the third time.

He's a documentary now on Disney Plus. Of course it's one I know he's been watching it on Loop. The New Kardashians I've been loving. I love the Kardashians really, yeah, I love it. Did you see that she's Kim's with Pete Davidson. Now, yes, and they're at the met gala. The met gala happened this week.

And Pete was there with the most god awful spray TND Like, clearly, Kim's gone, Pete, babe, like you need to get ten And he looks Google Pete Davidson Met Gala.

He looks six shades darker than he normally. He's a white boy from Brooklyn.

Yeah, oh, he really doesn't look that bad. I think you are that a bit. I thought it was going to look shocking, but that. Yeah. I like whoever's on his spray tan. I want to I want to know where you like it.

Okay, I've never had a spray tan. Did you got your get one?

Yeah?

They're quite good. You feel one hundred bucks that whole time? Really, I have you Why don't you just instead of getting a spray tan, you just get one of those the mitt ones. Like you get the foam and you put that on.

So what do you do? You stand in the shower.

No, you just you have a little glove on and you put the foam on and then you just rub it in and you just cover whatever areas you want to cover. You maybe you just want to turn your arms or your legs. And then you don't directly apply the foam to the face. You just use whatever remnants has soaked into the foam on your face.

Yeah, and you leave it there for a bit, and then.

I go through a lot of bubbles. I'd need there's a lot of service area to cover.

No, it's pretty good. It spread as well. Really, Yeah, I.

Just want someone to attach a piece of string to my toe and dip me in it and then just.

It's much more involved. You have to go in there wearing underwear. Oh no thanks, and they it's like all right, now stand to the left up and it's like it's very cold when they do it. Yeah, and then you have to turn around and then do the back and then you have to bend your legs out like it so they get the inner thigh.

I could never do that.

That's what I'm saying. You should just do the mid thing.

Oh do you know what I'll try it? Is it men and women?

Like?

I know that's ridiculous, but is or? Do you just get any spray tan?

The one I got, I'll just send it to you. It comes with the mit and everything.

Yeah, I love it. Okay, I'll try it. Hayden.

And I want to get baby botox, like a really small amount of preventative botox that they put in your forehead and your face which stops you from developing lines. So it doesn't freeze your head, but it just stops the lines from ever for me. So you get it, so you don't have to end up with botox because lines form from movement. But if you get it before, you have lines in never get lines.

Oh god, I left my run a bit late for that. I've already got the line.

You don't have lines, I do when you frown. Yeah, but everyone has them on.

They can't see them now because of my adult boats. I should have gotten the preventative.

Oh do you have full adult bolltocks?

Not in the forehead though, just the eyes.

Yeah.

I like being able to move my forehead. Yeah, my facial expressions. It's the it's the crow's feet that I don't like.

Same, That's what I worry about them being because I'm very emotive that it'll just take away all of that.

Yeah, that's why I don't think you should get it in the forehead. Imagine not being able to do this shocked look of disgust face.

Oh that's my go too.

Yeah. How often? How many times a day do I make this when we're doing the podcast?

Sorry is short?

You couldn't yawn?

I will see you couldn't. She could not say that. I love a good yawn.

I went to the dentist the other day and she wanted to give me a felling where she'd have to numb my face. And this was the Thursday before my show started, and I said to her, Oh, can we reschedule for another day because I can't have a number face because I'm doing Indi in Comedy Festival tonight. She said, oh, you're performing and I was like yeah, and she goes, oh, I knew you looked familiar. I swear, I swear I saw you at the Adelaide Fringe Festival and I just

Grape?

She thought you were kiddy floating again.

I'd be thrilled with that.

I thought I recognized you. You did the Mystery Box on Mastershire Jella Lawson.

Oh my god. I also have to get a crown on my tooth, which I never go.

Oh, I just got a crown. What you got dental? You need a lot of dental work done.

Yeah, a couple of bits and pieces, because you know the root canal the worst thing ever.

No, you're not kidding it, are you?

No?

I already got it. I just never got the crown.

Where did you get that?

Three years ago, like, oh my god. Yeah, so I've just been like risking it.

So they've canaled the route but they never capped it.

Well, I just never booked in and then we had COVID so I couldn't go to the dentist. So I use that excuse. But I've just gone three years risking it. My root canals with might just snap off.

Oh my gosh.

So yeah, I just never chew things on that side of my face.

Vapes are shocking for your gums. It can give you severe ginger of itis.

That doesn't surprise me.

Actually, yeah, it's because you're holding it in your mouth and it's flavorsome, like with smoking mouth.

No, but like because it's got a flavor sort of bitch does that. You don't hold it in your mouth, you inhale it properly. I would never bumpuff. I did a whole bit at my comedy show about bumpuffing. I think we should call it a coward puff coward. They don't use the words bum puff in Melbourne, though, I learned that the hard way. They stared at me blankly when I did the Melbourne show.

What do they.

Say bum suck? Because that's so much better.

That's what you and I do on a weekend.

Oh speak for you yourselves.

You're on a bumpuffer with a cigarette, like you just inhale it straight away. But with vapes it's tasty, yummy, they're good flavors, so you kind of do mouth feel a little bit more than a cigarette.

Oh I never did that.

Ah well, I've been trying to prove a point of the dentist.

I've been a little bit slack with the vaping. You know how, I was cutting back heaps and I was only doing social vaping. I got a bit stressed during the Sydney Comedy Festival season, so I took it up again, and so now I'm having to cut back again. So if I get cranky, that's why.

That's what Hayden said. He was telling me, I'm on this last fight, that I'm done, and then it was a yellow one and the next day was purple.

What's happening here?

He was buying new vapes, kept telling me that it was the last one, and he would like shake it like it's almost done.

I'm like, that doesn't prove any Yeah, it's.

Not a tank of petrol.

So Hayden's a vapors too.

Yes, really severe.

Oh wow, I suddenly feel less alone because I would have used the word severe to describe like around you now, I was really bad, like I was vaping the whole podcast basically last year before Christmas. I would have definitely. I'm still addicted, but I'm not as severe now, Like I don't do it all day every day.

But you you just all these addictions, all these books, and I've just been consistent old mitched the whole Seas series. I've never strayed or shown any signs of addiction or mental illness. Oh really, this whole series.

I love how that's meant to be a flex Listen, I've got genetics working against me.

Here.

The combs are the gambling addicts there are, they're all depressed.

Yeah, do you know? I know, I trust me. I'm just severely undiagnosed.

Do you ever get tempted to have a puff of the vape that Hayden has? Yeah?

I like the sweet flavors.

Oh fuck, here we go, that's where it starts. Don't do it.

No, my favorite is grape. I love grape.

Okay, that that actually does make me feel better. That tells me that you're not a certified vapors because that's like entry level vaping. The grape one that's like the l plates are vaping. Okay, we had a part. Don't seriously, don't do it. It's really hard to get off.

And then I was at a party in a friends like, you want to my vapor. I'm like, sure, expecting it to be a grape No. No, what she pulled out like a hand grenade from the future. They're getting bigger.

Holy shit, I wonder if I've got one.

I'm sorry, I would a vape.

I used to always just have them with me, so surely I've been pretty good. I haven't had it today.

It's good. He's pulling out heroin. It's a hint. It's a syringe.

Oh no, I've got no arbing strawberry banana?

Oh hybrid?

Yeah?

Is it allowed to have banana in there? After your band?

I just don't hear it, so it's just strawberry. I don't hear the I don't hear the word. My brain is not blocked it out.

God, the craving is shocking.

At give it here, put it in my water bottle. Let's kill it.

Now? What if I need that on a night out. Yeah, I told you keep it as a backup cold day to day vaping. It's the social vaping that I am allowed.

That's the worst stuff, the social vape. If you are trying to kick it, that's where it'll get you.

All my friends vape, so if I'm around them, fucking.

Hell, Jenny, you were on the vape too.

Yes, socially now, which is there?

Fuck off?

Even Jenne's getting hooked.

Now, yes, because I know that I will become addicted if it was you don't socialize. Yeah, I know, But for a week I was addicted.

It was that shocks.

It was not good. It was not good.

No, it's not good. But it's all making me feel more human because you guys made me feel like a scumback. But it's easy to get hooked if even someone is intelligent and right, and I can get hooked.

Don't go there care anyone. But this is a PSA. Don't vape, kids, don't get into it's not worth it.

Kind of just like piggyback off what I was saying there. I said, don't do it, don't get it, and you said no, no, no, But here's a PSA for the internationalists. You can't say, Mitchell, because don't do it.

I'm the authority here on the So they listened to me. Don't do it. Yeah, the kids listening to you, the adult listens to you. The adults.

Okay, yeah, just don't do it.

Yeah, don't do it. Don't do you think vaping now is like smoking In the eighties, you could smoke on an airplane. You could smoke.

Have you tried vaping on an airplane?

Are you allowed?

You allow?

I feel like you were, like months ago.

No.

When I flew back from Melbourne, I posted a video about this. When I flew back from Melbourne. The voiceover lady during the safety demonstration on the flight, Oh, she's fed up with people vaping.

She's fed up.

Yeah, she goes, this is a non smoking light that includes eight cigarettes. So please don't even try. Oh, like she got real sassy, like she's been fucking burnt before.

Don't even try.

Yeah, but it was like really sassy.

Yeah, so please.

Don't even try.

Yeah, because people would slide because there's no smoke, it was just the vapor. People would slightly try to do it.

And then the flight attends to be walking down that aisle handing out the bar and Bay cookies and then they smell tooty fruity.

And go, someone's fucking doing it. Yeah, just open the emergency exit, suck everyone out there.

I say, I remember one time doing it in a public bathroom.

Yeah.

And I walked out of the stall and the bathroom stalls had overhead lighting, and I was like, oh my god, that is so fucking obvious. You could see the vapor just lingering above my cubicle and on my cubicle only, and I was like trying to fan it away because it was just lingering there under the the lights illuminated it.

Someone's like, that's a fucking hot shit, what.

A steaming loight of bullshit.

That was like, we should go. We really need to go bigger guys.

New song. That's the only other thing I was going to bring up.

What's it called?

Fuck? I don't even know.

It's the top Gun movie.

I've only listened to it once, and I was like.

It's not for me to be honest.

I saw something on Twitter before it came out saying, oh, this song is going to be gagas my heart will go on because that was a movie soundtrack song obviously, and it was huge is hold My Head. Everyone thought, yeah, everyone thought this was going to be her My heart will go one moment. It's not.

Should be listening to a little bit of it. I have it. We'll just start here, just a little bit. Okay, this is hold my Hand New Gaga.

And we're critiquing it, so copyright wise, we're allowed to play Oh my hell is everything will be okay.

I heard from the heavens that clouds happened.

Cloth first waltz. This is nice.

I see that you heard. Why do you take so long.

To tell me you leave me?

I see that chomplean and you don't just shove me again?

Ye, but if you decide to all run in this snide.

With you, oh, let go Telli.

I'm not hooked yet now so bad.

Jo, but.

I'm doing it more than the first listen.

I'm rabbiting on about his hand. I'll ball it runs, John, That's classic gar guys.

Where is your head? It's a bitten No. It feels like a star is born reject.

Yes, it does.

It feels like they thought, no, this song's not good enough for our film. Let's, you know, shop it out to other films.

Feels like a cash grab.

Like she'd be paid so much to a top gun movie a song for the sound.

I really thought that that second listen was to make me go Actually it's not that bad, but there's nothing special.

I saw on Twitter that the best part was the guitar solo, which I want to hear it.

I don't think I even made it to that. Yeah, I can fuck with that.

That's good building to that's nice, but it took us too long to get there.

Yeah. Wow, yeah, I'm not I.

Will not be holding your hand, Gager.

You know what song has been stuck in my head for no reason all weeks. Sorry, I know we're supposed to be leaving, but we'll end on this. It's called Oh you might know, I don know. It's called The Story by I want to say Belinda Carlyle, but it's not Belinda Randy Carlile.

The Cloud's jorder is commercial back in two thou.

Oh my gosh, why is it stucking ended up?

I don't know why.

It just came to me one day?

What I know?

What? Is it?

A classic?

Yeah?

All of these lands are crowns. Moy tell you the story not hitting me? Yeah, somony story or.

It was on a Gray's Anatomy and some zac Efron movie. What was it like the Last Post or something?

The in turn, let me look it.

Up to tell them.

Some bad granddads.

Now this is where the guitar solo does. Fuck was me the Lucky One? Is the movie one.

Clown Crow mountainous.

A grand r.

All that.

What rad.

Really feel like a million? But you should play this behavior one night.

This is good.

Yes, here comes to the guitar solo. Okay, fye seven.

Oh, that's a good sum.

I do, like Brandy, we hope this podcast make you feel at least two percent better today. Idiots, that's all so weak to god.

It's good to do back in the swing of things.

We'll leave you with this. Actually you do it.

You're a radio guy, Brandy. Wow.

The skills unmatchable, Brandy Carlisle.

The story see next week.

Fast forward to the end of it. That's what I need to end on. I think that's a bit more bullshit there is. Yeah, I'll been like in the last maybe thirty seconds. May find this conciously.

See you next week.

I love you.

Me bye?

Shut up?

Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of me.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast. Allow, and when you've done, shout, I name all you