#102: Top 5 Doorbells

People do some weird shit.

Would you like to try vape?

Why would you take up something that is going to be addictive and expensive?

I think the people.

I'll tell you what. Yeah, because you're young and stupid, some things make more sense than others.

You mentioned that your goal was to be healthy, and I just don't know. How can you figure that's going to happen when you're ordering a chocolate moose?

No, you know.

I had it in the car on the way home, and I didn't have a spood, so I was like an hour a dillo trying to get ants out of a whole.

Bless yourself for the rude shocks of young adulthood.

Clean finger.

It is an awful sensation. Given't been thinking about the right person. Goodness, may this is just I'm still to play a couple of mitches.

Hi, it's Jenna. Please don't forget to include my name in the opener this season.

Sorry now he is Mitch Julie and Mitchell Cobs. Hello, Runny, Mitchel Coves. Welcome to the show.

Ye back for another week, for.

Another week, for a musty show. Everybody welcome.

I got some Mufty music for us, so much like Mufty Day at school when you get to dress up and you know, be a little bit silly. Is that what we're doing this week? We're a bit more relaxed.

You've done nothing for the show. You haven't planned a thing. You haven't you don't know what's going to happen.

Yeah, I'm going in blind or blind as you would go and a prize.

Kiper Gener is here and she's helped me prepare the show today.

Yes, I'm here.

Yeah. So if you missed it last week, I said that because I've got my Melbourne comedy gig that I need to focus on. I just want to kick back and not stress about the podcast. So you guys have taken charge.

What are you going to plan for.

The episode today?

Oh?

I think we just run in and I think we do it. I think we keep it a surprise.

Well, I don't keep it a surprise from you. When I plan stuff, I say, Okay, we're doing talk bactings, we're doing Jenne's Now.

I wanted to be Okay, why don't you get out of the studio and Jenna and I will tell everyone what is coming up and hop on out.

So you really want me to go in bliand yes, I want you to.

Go into the show blind. I've here, I've got a spider for you. Ready to track up a Mac and putting this bvanilla ice cream?

A spider.

It's a musty day, right, a spider.

Well, I don't have a gold coin donation, so get fucked. But anyway, I'll lead, I'll be back.

Get out of the studio and Jenner and I will tell you what we come on the show. Get out the door closed or something?

Yeah, yeah, it's close.

It's just us was really looking through the window.

It's always work.

That horror film Notting Hill. What's the horror film? Pretty scary? If who has met the Hills have eyes that it looks like he's watching all right, it's musty day, so general, I have planned the show off the back of last week's infamous doorbell chat. I want to know thirteen six five? What does your doorbell sound like? He was a call. We're taking live calls on the show.

Mature will be so thrilled Jo because he loves live call.

Loves live call. So we're taking live calls. Do you want to what your doorbell is? That's later in the show. We've got international doorbells as well, very excited. We've got a wide range of bells. And also we're going to be doing later in the show, hence the play school music, show and tell. So I've been learning a new instrument and I haven't told you, Mitchell. I've an ounced on the Instagram will live, but I'll be playing it and

I sure do, and something I wear so I'd like to share it.

Oh is it the leather? No not, I saw that on your desk.

I thought, yeah, no, that's something else.

Bringing back in Mitchell. You can come here, but you're celebrating Musty Day.

You must have a lot planned. That took you a while to get through.

No, sorry, no, we just we do have a lot plan. We had sponsorships. You had to throw to the sponsors. We sponsors. Now, welcome back to the studio.

Thanks.

We've got all the hooking and teasing out of the way. We're celebrating because it is musty Days.

I don't know. I don't like to dance on Q like that on command if the mood strike, because I'll get up and dance.

Late organic dancer. Yeah. We also didn't say the reason is it just you coming up? Were getting a listener on the show, But that happens every week.

So that's no shore that to me whatsoever.

Also, something we've noticed, something we hate or appreciate. We're ready to go with two I gems. Is it just me? It's how we start the show the same every week on the basis this back backbone of is it just me? I saw someone on our secret Facebook group and Drew and idiots go, oh, thanks for reading out my intagen. It's been years, guys.

I know I'd never thought it was that hard to understand.

But oh well, I don't know where the tea comes from.

I just figure we know what they're talking about, so no need to call them out. It's like those people that say you can't call them rat tests because the tea in rat sands for tests. You're saying rabbit emergine test tests. You can't call them mat You know what we mean, bitch.

Machine, it must be redundant. Then shut up, uncle Greg. Yep, So the only thing you've prepared this week, is it correct? Would you like me to go first or would you like to go for I'll go for Because you were on break, you were relax.

There's a lot of you going first recently, That's all I've noticed.

Yeah. Well, and he'll say the same thing, Well, would you like to go first?

Now? I don't know. You go because you think yours the better they.

Go, it's better. But I mean, Jennet, you don't know this to you. Why don't you vote who should go first?

Now?

Just go?

It's fine, I think Mitch cher then No, I don't want you working, Jenna. I have to do it anyway.

Jenna's cracking a spider. Get the vanilla, I screamp, take the tab, just put it in. You gotta Yeah, is it hard?

Is it?

It's really chosen?

Yeah? I love a spider. Have you had that, Mitch?

Yeah? You can't. You can't let them melt for too long? Can you? Siders? Go rank?

They get a film on top of them? Yeah, a little spidy web.

Yeah, also start to curdle.

I've made chocolate crackles. Later, I had to go and get what do they call corn flakes from the grocery store and COFA remember kofa?

Yeah, Well Mum gave me forty cents for a zombie two today. I can't wait.

Really, I've got a brain licker from Carroen at the canteen.

Oh my god, I said brain licker the other day and no one knew what I was talking about. I'm so glad you're here telling me this brain Makers Ransom show the other show. No, it wasn't on my podcast.

You said it out into the world.

Yeah, with internal content, as in a conversation with friends. Yes, you know brain lickers. I used to get them all the time at the canteen of my brother's footy games because there was nothing else for me to enjoy it. A footy game is there.

Did you ever get No, did you ever get like a sore tongue from the brain licker?

Yes? Of course for the internationals. A brain licker is not unlike a roll on deodorant, but instead of deodorant, you just licking the little ball thing and it's just sour shit. It's revolted.

Really, it literally is a Mitcham deodorant role filled with sour juice. It's awful. Zombie cheos were good. I liked anything by Wonka like I love the Wonka readily crish. Oh oh yeah, nerds rope, No, it's right. I was one of those weird kids. That was sit there and like pick off the nerds and then have the raw red rod.

No, you have it together.

Ironically, the least impressive thing from Wonka was their Wanka bars, which is what they're famous for.

And they didn't even do the fucking gold ticket, just put one in every bar.

Guys, no one cares for fun.

But when they did some promotions with the Golden ticket.

You want to trip to Disneyland, No, you want a.

Trip to queens Land.

To go to the chocolate factory like where they make it, which is not as fun as Willy Wonka's factory.

Now I've been to the Cadbury factory. Let me tell you it's disgusting. First, ault's in Hobart, the travel destination of Australia, not for the internationals. It's in the little ars end of Australia, Hobart.

I actually really want to go to Hobart, just saying beautiful mountainous regions that was back in my water polo days.

And the cadur factory is disgusting. It's great, it looks like like it's not beautiful.

That doesn't sound impressive. I'm sure like everything like if people come into this studio. They'd probably think it's the way less glamorous. Then you'd think, yeah, very true the studio. Yeah no, nothing's nothing's good in life. That's everything is a let down.

All right, let's start the show. My a gym to kick us off?

Yeap, go forst.

Is it just me.

Is first in best dress stupid.

As a concept or what it actually means?

Well? Both, it makes no sense.

What does that actually mean? Exactly?

First in best stressed? Maybe if you're the first there and the person of the party goes, yeah, oh best stress. But you're the first person, so you've only got places to fall from.

Yeah, do you reckon? People have ever actually been turned away because they're like, in hindsight that that outfits foul that person that came half an hour later, ten out of ten.

Hey, Nancy, I know we all voted collectively that you were best stressed when you were first in. Now that Margaret's here, she's best stressed, but no longer first in.

It doesn't make it.

It's stupid.

What scenario do people actually say? First in best stress is usually like everyone at the radio station, there's three pies in the reception, First in best stress?

Exactly what I think, or my mumble text of family group chat. All right, brunch it ours Friday making bacon and egg rolls. First in best dressed?

Is there a comma? Jenny? Can you google first in best dress?

Please?

Yeah?

It's just makes no sense.

Is there a comma first in best dressed? Or is it you're the first that is also best dressed?

Oh so it's got to be the first in that is also best stressed.

Well, that's what I'm asking there's a comma first Oh.

Well, I've been getting wrong this whole time. I thought it was abut to show up first and be hot.

So what does it mean that means first in?

Yep?

Makes you the best dressed?

Yeah, it sounds like the earlier you get to the clothes store, you'll have the pick of the bunch, the best clothes there. So if you're the first in, therefore you'll be best dressed.

Did you know it's an Australian expression expression.

That doesn't surprise me because it makes no sense.

What's the mystery.

It's just similar to phrases like first in, first served or first come, first served.

First We've got first in first serve. Sorry. It makes so much sense because if if they're first, you're in the front of the line. First in best dressed means nothing.

So is that what it means? It's just if you get there first, you're served first. Ye, Well there you go. Why can't they say that?

Yeah?

I know?

Are they just say racing now? Yeah?

Now?

Why are they bringing what you're wearing into it? The rules of mufty day? It brings other people down? Maybe what's just saying you said just before we started recording and it we couldn't work it out.

Hey, you said.

Something before the show started and trying to work Oh.

I said ebbs and flows, but I didn't know which one was the witch. I was like, oh, you know, my enthusiasm seems to ebb and flow, and right now I'm in a wait which one's which?

Yeah?

What the fuck is an EBB?

Can you google eb Yeah?

Because I just perceive flow as being flowy.

Like floe, but also the floods at the moment, flows can be treacherous, flow could be bad.

You know what I love? I just love a mixed metaphor, like saying shit wrong on purpose, you you know, put two different metaphors together, like listen, it's not rocket surgery. Yeah, you know, or oh god, that really through with Spanner amongst the pigeons.

Yeah, jeseu it takes two December.

The nope, shit in the woods.

Right.

So EBB and flow means a decline and increase. So EBB is decline, flow is increase.

No point crying over spilt water?

Jenner Well said, what's the one that you're mixing it with?

No point crying over spilt milk?

And what?

Oh? Oh you're right.

Yeah, you have to mix two to get.

Water off a duck's back. Yeah.

I don't think he understands.

I die, but it's very hard. Also another stupid saying, sorry, money can't buy happiness. I'm sorry, but I think it can even not ultimate happiness, not ninety nine percent.

Of your life see fulfilling happiness. No, but it's like it'll make your life a bit more comfy. I suppose.

Oh the happiest I Amazon May fourteenth on pay day.

Oh my god, I forgot that that was the thing. Monthly pays the worst. But now I get paid based on when I can be asked invoicing. I don't get paid for months sometimes is I don't get around to it.

You get paid a million dollars.

But I'm also not the sharpest cookie in the jar. But what's that combined with sharpestool and the shed Stupid sayings?

They were made for when people only had twelve words to pick from, when we're all reading Shakespeare's you know, but now we have many words olden days people. But I love a good saying, even if it doesn't make sense.

Yeah right, I don't know what the conclusion is here, because I thought you said you hated sayings. Isn't that what this ygym was?

I hate that saying, but I love other sayings.

I don't like my cup weeks so far, I'm so confused.

All right, you're ready for your Rijim, yep, let's jump in?

Is it just me?

Have you never seen a pig's dick?

Hayden doesn't listen to this episode? But no, I haven't. I don't think I have.

Oh well, apparently they're they're quite the site. They're not like your usual Schlang really yeah. I found this out from our mate Kate lang book. She was doing the three pm pick up the other day her radio show, and this is what happened.

They've had signs in their pockets since they were twelve pumping out all are of actual filth, turning their beautiful pure minds twisted like a pig's penis, and you think that.

They haven't watched. I was going tail. I thought it'd say tail.

Do not google pigs, don't do it.

I mean, when she says don't do it, obviously we're gonna do it, aren't we. I feel so curious. Ever since I heard that, I'm like, what do they look like? Apparently they're twisted according to her, I.

Couldn't type pigs dick quicker if I tried pigs dick.

Maybe not those words pig penis.

Pig appendage, pig willy. All right, here you go.

Oh my god, No, oh, it looks like.

A smuggle bendable pencil.

It does. Actually, it looks like back.

To Canteen food, those trolley pink sticks with the white cream in the middle.

Oh it does. That makes me feel sick and like a little yogurt stick.

Oh no, my god, that's revolting.

Oh what's happened there? That's not wow. I really did not know that. That thought pigs were packing downstairs. Like God, I wouldn't have pictured that. It just doesn't match them at all, doesn't it not the slightest no, like at least kind of you know when well, I can't believe we're talking about this now. I was gonna say, you know, when horses cracker fad, you're like, noh, yeah, that makes sense. That checks out. That looks it doesn't. It doesn't work. The pig dick.

I've tried to open a bottle of wine with a corkscrew and it's very hard. So imagine trying to fuck your pig lady with your pig dick. You'd have to sort of twist, and it does.

Look like a corkscrew. There you go, look at these like a really red corkscrew.

Oh. The Week has written an article the twelve weirdest animal penises on Earth, and number one is the pig dick.

Yeah, I no, that makes sense.

Tally get closely followed by a dolphin. They have a retractable penis, you kidnap.

That'd be handy, the retractable one. You know, drag queens wouldn't have to tuck. Yes, it's like suck it back in.

Oh. So, Hayden's in the mood and I'm not. I'd love to have a retractable penis. Just go so not home.

It's duck.

It's out of service.

I pretend you're a your maccath frozen coke machine. Sorry, babe, it's on d FROs.

To borrow.

Is it just me? That's enough of these two. Now let's hear and is it just you?

Okay, we're continuing on with the Mufty Show. We haven't fund everybody have a Mufty day? Yeah?

Or do you want me to validate you?

Yeah? Come on, you have to do a thing. Kick back, relaxed.

Yeah, that's why I'm forgetting to talk. I'm too relaxed.

This is the Mufti Show. Mitchell Coombs has his comedy shows, of course, so all he has to do is turn up be the talent for the day. General and General will edit this podcast too, so if there's any obscenities or any things that get through that slip through the cracks that are really on the nose, you got Jenitor blame of prison. Also, we're doing an isasu just you of course today. Rachel sends this in. If you want to get in touch a couple of Mitches on Instagram,

I hope that they're as profound as ours were today?

Oh god, yeah, all right, Rachel, go for it.

Is it just me?

Or are people who relate to things constantly? I think it's a cute personality trait, when in reality it's just selfishness and they think that their time is more important than others.

I mean, I don't have as much rage towards the topic as she does. I'm not gonna say it's selfishness, but yeah, I don't. I don't know. People like that just won't change. I don't think I agree. They just won't, and so there's no point in getting all frustrated about it. But then I also do feel weird that I have to like work around them, Like there's so many people in my life that it's like, okay, so we want to be there at three, so let's tell them it's

There are also so many other things to worry about than someone being late, like enjoy your own party or enjoy your own If it's a one on one lunch, then I get it. But if if you're from a party on and someone's like, like, you don't realize until you have a party. Hey didn't I throw a party last week? Oh, a couple weeks ago, and but it was for seven and then about eight o'clock we only had a quarter of the people there, and we spiraled like, not what if people don't come? What if no one

Host, listen, I know you don't party often, but that's I think that's a different Sorry, no one shows up to a party on time. I mean some people do, but it's not expected, like most people get there at their own fucking leisure at a party. But yeah, it's it depends on the scenario. Like sometimes if people are always late and you're like you're waiting on them, Like let's just say, oh, everyone come over to watch reports Drag Race and you're waiting on that one bitch before

Yeah, now that's a good eight person.

I think it's also important not to let your energy affect people if you are late, Like if people show up late and they're like, sorry, I'm so frazzled, I'm so stressed. Then it just kind of throws everyone else off. So if you're late, just throw up and be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I'm late, and then just soldier on, you know, act like nothing happened.

Don't make a point of it, don't drag on the whole night, drag them mood down.

Have you ever heard that weird piece of business advice where it's like, instead of saying sorry, I'm late, you say thank you for waiting, because then that takes the power back. You're not like admitting a fault. And I'm like, that's so stupid. I would feel like a dick if I showed up and said thanks for waiting everyone. That's so that's like treating everyone like that, your servants, thanks for waiting, Like we weren't waiting, we were just on time.

Yeah, also we had to.

Like I have thought about it in some scenarios where I'm late, I'm like, I'm going to give this a whirl. I'm going to say thanks for waiting, because apparently that's you know, good business advice. And every time I try and say it. I'm like, it's it feels wrong. I can't say this. I'm just gonna be like, so I'm late.

You also clearly business advice if you late to a business meeting and you're talking about stocks, but if you're late to someone's christening, you're not gonna go. Thanks for waiting, not baptizing baby. Resume and imagine showing up to a one on one lunch.

Thanks for waiting, babe. No, you don't need to power play with your friends. That's shit advice. I'm pretty sure that was an American TikToker. You can imagine that.

Yeah, yeah, dumb.

Do you find that, Jenna, you'll back me up here. Sometimes Americans in the workplace come across ruder, not saying they are, they come across the ruder. We had a bitch like that at our old workplace that was like, thanks for a waiting team.

Yeah yeah, I always thought she was better than everyone else, even though she wasn't even qualified, even though she was quite shit.

And there's just something about referring to people as my team that I find so condescending.

Americans are very quick to jump into confrontation. They do not mind. They're very happy to jump right into an argument.

Yeah, I don't, I don't. I don't mind that.

No, maybe you're half American.

You show had the confrontations between Mitchell and this other.

Oh yeah, I was the only one that would go that bitch. Yeah, I'd pull her up on her shit. H She asked me to make a Steve her when mean on the anniversary of his debt about him dying.

Yeah, yeah, because she thought it was funny.

What was the mean?

And I was I can't remember, this is years ago. And I was like, and she tried to play that well i'm your manager card and I was like, well, I'm telling you that Australians won't find that funny, and I'm telling you it's not a good idea, so I'm not doing it.

Oh my god.

And she was like, okay, well you need to find me in alternatate BA C O B. I was like, you don't have to abbreviate in real fucking in real life.

She said out loud, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, or maybe she said end of play. She loved that.

Didn't you wish you could play soccer?

But yeah, I was the only one that would stand up to her. I wasn't rude about it. I was just like assertive, assertive.

Yeah, you are very assertive. Yeah, you're teaching us to be a.

Superhereas Jenna would be like, all right, I will, and then as soon as she left the room, I.

Can't stand that bitch when they said that she was leaving, I started laughing.

Her.

That much.

For Jenna, though, because me and this cow in our office clearly didn't get along and so we didn't bother to pretend that we did. Whereas this chick that we all hated kept inviting Jenna to like the movies and shit out of work, and Jenna's like, fuck me, I.

Had to go to a Thanksgiving dinner.

And that's what that was My reaction evil laughed, being like, sucked in, Jenna, that's what you get for me and nice.

You've got to be real, Jenny. I gotta be honest, soul. We be invited to your enemies dinners.

Thanksgiffy.

And you would have kept complimenting her too. It's lovely turkey.

Also, I did make an effort with that buckhead. I remember being like this person. I was like, oh, let me take you to lunch. We should catch up one on one. We haven't done that since you've been here. And then she emailed me from her desk, which was two meters from me, being like, I packed lunch today. Can we reschedule? I was like, why if I keep emailing me, we're fucking spitting distance from each other. I was like, can I forget about it?

Fuck your lunch and I hate it, simply hate it. Now, Mitchell, it's time to move on. As you know, it's my cup week here on the show. Yep, you've already had two spiders, which I think is excessive.

You guys are running the show. I'm not planning a thing.

She's doing a thing. He's got his comedy shows to plan for, which is absolutely if it's fine where he were doing the heavy lifting. Jenna and I have organized the show, so we thought we'd bring in a segment when you have no control over it that you've already turned down and said no to.

Thirty one sixty five? What's your Doorbell? Found like, oh my god, that'd be fun. What's your doorbell? And you run to your front door and you just tell us what your doorbell is.

I'd actually quite like that.

Well, you can keep that shit for your radio show. No, I saved it for the next episode.

Five show us your doorbell. We're doing it?

Did you actually?

Oh?

Is that what you were posting in our Facebook group about you said if anyone's going to be home?

Yep, what's at home? Doorbells all different kinds. Ooh we like that doorbell day, Yeah, you got this doorbell. I've got a classic doorbell. So we want to know thirteen one oh six five call us? What does your doorbell sound?

You do realize that this isn't live. You can't get giving the number out makes no different.

But it sounds real, isn't that. I've got some doorbell music playing. There's our doorbell music, right, Okay, it's very on brand. And what I've got, Mitch, is five doorbell. Five door bell. Let me tell you. I'll spoil you today. We have an international doorbell.

Really so this is is it an in gym top five in a way?

Technically?

Yes.

I will get you to critique each five doorbells.

Have you heard them already?

I've never heard them?

No, okay no, and it's up to me.

It's up to you to select who has the best doorbell in the world. Yeah, right, this is going global, Ladies, and gentlemen. So Mitchell take notes. We are continuing I guess that my kitchen real scene by getting you to judge. Shall we go to the first doorbell. Let's start with Lisa on A thirteen six five. Hello, Lisa, Hello.

My MITCHI MoU how are you?

Oh my god? Is this the Litha from Adelaide?

Oh my god, Darling, this is me. Hello, my Chu chu, my Mitch and mine. Madam JN Hello, Hello.

It's Madam Jay. Last time, Madam j.

I know what I have to be kind though, because she's Jenner and she's beautiful and she's wonderful. She's amazing than you. Now that's all right, my love.

Lisa, your first cab off the rank. Can you please show us your doorbell?

Are you ready for this? Adeladian? Are you ready?

Lady?

And good Mitch. That's he's picking up notes of Adeladia, right, go for it. Yeah.

That sounds like the sort of thing that goes off when you walk into a door.

It does. Yeah, one more time, Lisa, one more time? Yeah, it rings twice?

Quite like it?

Yeah? Right? Okay, short and sharp, that's classic. Well, how do you feel about your door bell? Lisa? Is that fucking annoying. It sounds loud.

Listen, No, it's still going off. It fucking keeps going because you go there and turn it off. Oh yeah, it's one of those, and it's one of those of the screen so you can see the poor bastard standing at the doorway come an answer, and you think, yeah, no, I'm not answering the door, so you just turn it off.

Walk away point.

What do I Because I didn't answer the doors, I need to answer the door to Ouber Eats Bakes.

I'm on this show. All right, thank you, Lisa. Let's move on. Doorbell on number two, we have Steph. Hello, Steph?

Hello, where are you from? Darlin?

Paddy?

We're going local.

Have you ever been to the cad Refactory?

Yes?

What's the school excursions there?

As a kid?

It's disgusting, isn't it.

It's actually rank.

Yeah, we were talking about this earlier.

I said, doorfall. All right, Steph, everyone say it with me? Play there, doll oh go again, Steph.

Okay, it's haunting.

I actually really like I'm going to say, I don't like you.

You don't like that one? Yeah, it's a bit it's a bit pitchy. Bub Yeah, it's not great.

It was this house bluns an old lady before us, so I think it was her.

Definitely.

Yeah, she's got.

All right, Steph Mitch is writing, No, they hope hopefully you win. We love you. Let's move on. We've got Joey. Hello, Joey, Mitch and Jennery here as well.

Where are you from?

Where are you from?

Now?

I'm from where.

I thought he said, Thorpies. I was like, what Philip the Night with Thorpe? Okay, the Philippines. There we go.

I'm in Double at the moment.

Oh, Jenna's hometown.

You're in Dubble. You're dunk and they'd have six fucking doorbells out there? Which area?

The south?

South?

All right?

I want to hear this Dubbo door Yeah, all right, hit us go Joey, when you're ready, what's play that?

I'm really gonna get that catchphrase down.

Yeah, you told him to say it together, but then you didn't tell us what.

To play the doorbell?

Ready to play the door bell?

Oh that one sounds like, oh fuck, we Dubble doesn't make around with our.

Doorbell to Really that one sounds like a toy cash red dis stuff.

Yeah, bring matel vibes Joey one more time.

Please, I can't believe you have the same doorbell as.

Well, you know not.

That sounds like you're in a service station. All right, Joey, Mitch is taking notes, so let me hope you win. Okay, good luck, joe Thanks, thanks, Joey, they win anything, no God, no gratitude talking to us. All right, this is very exciting in an iGEM world first, actually in a global world first, never been done before. We are crossing live to Minnesota in the United States of America. Hello, Jessica, Oh my.

God, Hey guys, listen, Jessica, here's my doorbell.

Oh okay, let's hear it. It was What the fuck did you? That sounds like you're being electrocute.

It sounds like you're in the purge, Jesus. Sounds like a cut in the gym's mowing.

Yeah, that's painful.

Do you did that?

Give you the eck? When that goes off?

They scared of sometimes.

You know what it.

Sounds like, Jessica. It sounds like I'm in my NaN's backroom playing operation as a six year old sleep and drop the kidney. That is scary.

Wow. Okay, well, thanks for that. I'm sorry to hear about your doorbell.

Hey, thank you for listening from Minnesota to where about? That's so exciting you. How long have you been listening?

Well, I've just like found you guys, maybe like a month ago.

So it looks the old ones, and then I started listening to the newer ones and the older ones. So yeah, well clearly it's downhill because now we're ranking.

All right. Thank you very much, Jessica. We love you, love you. Thanks for listening, guys, Thank you, thank you for taking part final Orbell Mitchell, Your palette is adjusted and ready for Sky. Hello, Sky, Welcome to the show, Hingo, tell you good. Where are you from? Sky?

Melbourne?

Real very well rounded selection of bells?

Are you going to be at my comedy gig which at the time recording has not happened yet.

Sure let's say yes.

I'm sensing that you don't mean that and I will never meet you.

Oh, Sky, you should just lied. You wouldn't have known. All right, Sky, you're the last door bell, doorbell number five. Take us out and play us your doorbell?

Ready?

Wait, do that again? Go again?

I think she was shot.

Go against Sky? Are you knocking on a door, Sky.

Are you clapping or something?

Matt rich enough for a doorbell?

She's not rich enough for a door she's knocking. Well, you're you're disqualified out of the competition. That's not how it works.

Sky g d well Sky comes in at number five. Naturally, sorry, Sky, thanks a lot.

Do you believe that? So we're done. That's it, Mitchell. Wow, doorbells have been delivered, which brings us to this moment in time.

The top five division.

Top five on the fly.

Okay, so it's the top five door bells based on the course we have had global doorbells. Yes, global doorbells. Yeah, from Dubbo to Minnesota. Yeah, no doorbell left unwrung, I'm turned on.

All right, give us a ranking.

All right, we'll coming in at number five. Would have to be a Sky because she was disqualified. She was knocking. That's not a doorbell. I'm so sorry. True. I mean, I wouldn't have put that car aware, but what would I know.

I vetted everyone's doorbell. I said, do you have a doorbell? And she was cheeky?

So gotch.

I can't pay that. I pay the cheekiness. But no, she didn't have a doorbell.

Okay, well. Coming in at number four would be Jessica with this that electric chair doorbell no good. Number three would be Steph It was completely harmless. But this a bit too high pitch for me.

It doesn't painly. Is that one worked to me? It's not good.

Coming in at number two, Lisa from Adelaide had a beautiful doorbell. However, it's a it's got a mind of its own. It's an unhinged door bell. Yeah, I remember she said she couldn't turn it off, and like, you have to physically go out there and ring it again so it'll stop. Otherwise they could ring all day or night. No, I don't like that. I need to have control of my bell.

So that brings us to number one.

Yes, well, number one is Joey from Dubbo, whose doorbell was basically like Lisa's, but it just is a bit more reliable.

Have a listen, this is it. That's a good door bell, he joins us to celebrate. Hello. Thank you guys, who would you like to thank.

I would like to thank all the people of Dubbo, Yes, for bringing us this door ball. Well, Jenna reckons that you have the exact same doorbell that she did in Dubbo. I reckon. There's one Dubbo doorbell.

Dealer that's a requirement to be in Dubbo.

Yeah yeah, I need that bell it.

Wow.

Well, congratulations, you're you're a superstar in our eyes.

Thank you.

And pride keeper Jenna, because it's her job, We'll hook you up with a prize for winning, won't she.

Yeah yeah, she will find something.

Take that off the air and you can do get up to Jonah's house in Dubble. Yeah.

Good idea, so easy for you.

Don't give with cracking on congratulations. I think Joe is definitely not interested in pushing the doorbell. He likes to be pushed himself.

Oh you know what I mean, What a shame you get some Dubbo dick. What a shame?

I wonder if the Dubbo doorbell dealer gives good dick.

Listening on Spotify, don't forget to leave a five star.

You're listening to? Is it just me?

Okay? The Muffy Show continues, everybody you're enjoying Mitchell, turn it down. You don't like the music though, you need to be able to hear our voices over it. Yeah, but it's like an excitement song that it fades out and Vanessa fades out quite.

Like a career.

Yeah right, okay, what I mean?

It starts really big, everyone's really excited, and then nothing for thirty years.

She's still going strong. How very dare you she? If you weren't homophobic and didn't come to Mindigra, you would have seen that she did a blank performance.

She did. Actually I retract that. I take that back. All right, sorry, Vanessa?

And what are we doing now?

All right? As we move on, Jenner, are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready. This is something that happens in all schools and as we continue to school trend, this is musty day, after all, we celebrating freedom. We can wear whatever we want. We're doing a round of IDJEM, Show and Tell and tell on a show a show opener at everything.

Michel, you just had that line around. You didn't make that.

It's a segment from Kyle and Jackie Oh show. I did edit that to take Kyle's Show and Tell out so tomorrow, Yeah, if you go back and listen, there's a moment where and we pull it down.

Yeah right, and they were doing a round of Show and Tell. Okay, So, as I.

Mentioned on the Instagram Live. I think I'll go first channel. Okay, Yeah, I never liked show and tell in primary school. It's actually something that we didn't do. It feels very American. Did you guys do show and tell?

I lived for it, did you? Yeah? And any hindsight, I don't think anyone gave a fuck about what I was showing and telling. I would like right class today, I got the New shaki An album and I would just show that and all thoughts of shit, But I don't think anyone really cared.

I did take my dad to school. Take your parents to school day and you brought your dad in and they told what they did at work. Oh that was so cute. Remember that, No, Joede, your parents? Did you ever do that?

Now?

Oh?

And your dad would sit down and go, I'll work for a wine company.

I'll tell you how that would have gone at my school.

Yeah.

My dad's a farmer. My dad's also a farmer. My dad's also a farmer. My dad's a farmer. Yeah, it wouldn't have been that interesting.

And you're right, it would have been similar for Janet. My dad's an executive banker. My dad's an executive banker. My dad's a wealthy millionaires. My dad's a Muggel Lane coat, primary lane coat. Yeah, that's hardly that's hardly high for Luton Lane Cove. Anyway, if you follow us on Instagram a couple of minutes you would have seen about a weekend or two ago, I revealed that I'm playing a new instrument.

Oh is that what this is?

This is, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to introduce you.

You wouldn't tell me what the instrument was. I don't know.

And I'm going to put a timer on. We're going to do two minutes on the clock. But I will be showing and telling today my Pheromon. So if you'd indulge it, I'm.

Gonna go Perramon.

You haven't seen it because it's under the desk.

It sounds like a kitchen appliance. Whow What for the lover of God is that? It looks like a laminador?

Oh my god, it's my Ferramon.

Everybody like a mini spaceship.

I spoke to the technicians and it is wired into the desk. Now, for those at home thinking, what the hell's a theremon? Why am I pointing?

I'm in the room theremon?

Okay for those in the room, this is a theremon. You know this famous theme sung X files, right of course is this.

You're in the background, So it's like a synthe science.

It's like a synthesizer. However, it's the only instrument in the world that requires nothing to be touched. It's all played via electromagnetics. What just watch and learn. So I'm turning my theerremon on, ladies and gentlemen. So there's a giant antenna it looks like an alien spaceship. On the right, there's a giant antenna. This controls frequency. On the left, there is a curved antenna which controls volume. So I'm

Wait, so does it depend on how close your hand is about antenna?

I'm now at one with a theremon.

Fuck, So that is wild.

You know, I've tried the banjo and I like to stand out from the pack. How many people can play the banjo in the world millions?

And you're not that crash hood on the saxophone either.

So this is my third shot at an instrument that I think I can actually play because it requires no fucking playing. All you need is your hands.

But what if you actually want to play a song?

Oh, I'll get there eventually, but I'm gonna perform for you now. Okay. So this is ladies and gentlemen me playing the theremon. Are we ready?

Yeah? Yeah? You know what that makes them want to do? Mody?

I can get higher? Ready, So it's.

How do you get higher?

Just wait, there's a muzzy in the room.

You're gonna have to explain it to the people listening. So how do you do it? You move your hands further away if you get higher.

So there are two antennas here on the perremon. On the left is volume here this one here. Make sure this controls the volume. The higher my hand goes, the louder it gets. On the right, this antenna looks like an old TV. The further away it gets, the lower the pitch becomes, and the higher the higher it becomes. Do classic theherremon?

Oh?

Can you change the sound on it? Yes?

This is quite a modern theremon.

Could you make it sound like a church organ?

Yes? I can, you're joking. I can make it sound like ready to actually.

Try and play something files.

I'm on the x files theme, so try x.

Files or do the scales ready, I'll start with scales. See.

I find that harder than an actual instrument, because the piano you know which key to press to get a certain note, but that it's guessing by distance, like you could easily get the wrong note.

Would you like to have a try?

Yeah, come on, and you're gonna have to take my seat.

I'm going to give you. Would you like in orbit?

Nah? That's like that irritating doorbell. Go to the least irritating sound.

What is it?

Thermo mix?

No? All right, I'm over here watching now. Don't forget. Your left hand is volume. So take the cord off it and keep your left hand. Touch your hand on it. Yep. And then get your right hand and put it maybe a centimeter away flat like this. Yep, and they lift your left hand up.

I might just leave the left hand still, just leave it low. I can't find the starting note of the xbiles music. Does it even go low enough? Farking out? I don't like this.

Change the knob, change the setting. Get something more closer, furtheres knob to the right.

Oh ah, there we go, it's way off.

Now I get I heard it.

Yeah, wow, it's almost ridiculous. How talented I am. I took to that like a duck to water.

You know, if anyone will innately do the theramon, it's Jenna either. You should have a quick guy that you've got it in your body.

I go.

The therami is, in fact, voted the hardest instrument to play in the world.

And you thought that was easier. You told me the reason you wanted to learn it's because it's easier than an actual instrument.

Yeah.

I thought it was too until I paid eight hundred dollars and had to pick it up from Merrickville and Facebook marketplace. Imagine getting invited to play this at the Anzact ceremony on the fucking idea on the theorem.

I don't know what you're gasping at. She's it's playing nonsense, but.

It's a Nate it's in a blood.

You didn't say that about me.

I'm blown away.

I mean, it's one of those instruments where it just sounds correct, even if you're just making it up. Like if I did this on a piano, it's bashed random notes, it wouldn't sound like a song, but because it's a thermomix, it just kind of because it's so like obscure. Anyway, I drive my final show. So what's your plan with this? You're actually gonna get lessons? Do you get lessons on them?

I have Maddie Jay and Laura Burn's wedding coming up in October and I'm hoping to be asked to play it.

That's my goal, right, But are you actually going to learn it or you just just buy it to play with?

Now?

Now, I've got YouTube last up to less than three of theremon one I won?

Yeah?

Oh yeah, I'm learning all right, all right, I'm going to try and nail it over the beat of the X Files theme. Ready?

Oh god? Oh no, it goes higher?

I think I did it ready, I'm doing it.

That's not it?

Pretty hard? I'm going to try now, Oh so hard? I did it?

Is that actually what X Files has played on?

Yess a? Theremon? Yeah?

What made you want to get this?

Like?

What where did this idea come from? Out of nowhere?

Well? I went to a microphone store to purchase a microphone for my radio show, and it's a music store and someone was playing it beautifully and I said I want to be them. They had people lined up to watch them, and I thought, that's attention that I'm not getting. I need to be getting. So how do I It was like fourteen hundred dollars, So I went straight to marketplace. There was one online in Marrickville. Hey a Baudi, I'll give eight ten you hold that theremon for me.

You sit put.

I'm gonna quickly show you one thing. I'm gonna show you a professional theremon player, so you know where I'll be in about three to four days.

I feel like you're gonna start taking this thing to parties and being like, no, don't make me play, don't make me play, and then you just start playing wonder Wall on the Thermo mix.

Listen to this. This is a boy four point seven million views on the Internet. He's playing the theremon. Isn't that nice?

It's not that nice? Actually? Really yeah, I find that particular one a bit annoying.

Founding the piano's nice.

Well, he doesn't have a Theremoni's expenses of mine. Not everyone can afford it. He's been playing for thirty years and he can't afford it. It's actually his lifecraft and he's on an old score one. Oh, and that's my show and tell over. Yeah, I think we play this for the rest of the episode. I could do the next season's music.

You could. It's not like there's royalties issues.

You made it.

I made it with my own instrument.

I just don't know why you're striving for that same attention the guy in the music store had, because when people are ever just going to stumble across you playing it unless you take it to parties, which in itself is a bit annoying. It's very obnoxious.

Imagine you in the QVB. I will do it.

Do you need like a guitar ramp or something to go with it to play it out loud?

I've just connected it straight to the studio desk. It's got the guitar connection.

How do you play it at home?

Oh, it's got a built in speaker?

All right, Okay, I've got a guitar ramp that I'm not using, so you can use that.

Ah, I will use it. I will use it. All right. Guys, If you want a custom theorem and played at your wedding, contact me. I reckon. I'll be at that level of about three or four days, so hit me up. And by the time episodes out, I'll be playing.

Wow wow wow.

Yeah.

What happens if you just like your hand has a fucking spasms I am speaking if you just feel like this, wave your hand like a lunatic Wow Wow Now again somewhere triple yow Wow. Amazing new track here on Triple j Wow.

That right there was Jehovah's Beethoven. Then having take on Jesus Christ over Star. The artist simply goes by the number seven.

And you can catch them at Splendor this year.

Wow seven takes inspiration from sounds such as kind of a cruise line, horns and aeroplane turbones. This year, I'll get better, I'll get my show and tell has completed. Jenna, your two minute timer that I blew out starts.

Now, Okay, see her fucking podcast craft just isn't up to scratch. No, she's like you said, all right over to you, Jenna, and then she was mute and she's not describing what's happening that no one can see.

Jenny, you need to use your mouth.

She's putting something that's not how it works your multitask.

I'm currently wearing a WSFM jacket worn by the one and only Amanda Keller. That's my show and tell. Would you like to feel it? No?

This is from the Jones and Amanda Show.

Yes, this is Amanda's specifically, she wears it every show. No, they don't wear it every show, it's just events. Yeah.

Cool, fascinating.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jenna, thank you. She showed, she told barely.

She didn't do the tell bit. She said, all right, I've got something to show you.

Yeah, Jenna, that was technically just show.

I told you. Yeah, this is really good for a podcast. Show someone a jacket that they can't see and don't describe it.

Oh wow, rare outy here musty show down and dastard you know what? That's all? One more time? Crack open a Oh you're having a fan to spider.

That's a nice one, yummy creaming cider.

Oh spider he've got?

Yeah? You do?

You do?

I have a fanto one d reckon that you could do a pashion a spider.

That'll be I wonder if you can do spiders with non fizzy drinks sorry, I mean alcoholic drinks, like an alcohol spider.

Oh, surely, like a cruiser spider. It needs to be a bubbly alcohol though and sweet. Yeah, like a muskada.

Oh I love muscada joke. I had a wedding over the weekend. All I drunk all night was shandies.

Really sounds like a great night to me. What's the point of this story?

I love a shandy. It was half alcohol, so it wasn't even pissed by the night.

What do you mean half alcohol?

Well, a shandy is half alcohol, half beer, half lemonade.

Oh, I thought you would have been bogan and saying shandy instead of like shand on.

No, no, I'll have a shandy is like an old woman's drink, which is half lemonade so you don't get too drunk and a bit sweet so you.

Can drink it. Sounds terrible.

No, I really liked it all right, Mitchell, did you enjoy the kickback relaxed week?

It oddly made me more tense, But it's okay because like a walk away from this burning and it's not my problem. I appreciate the help. Spare it.

Will we love you? And by the time this is out, Mitch's shows would have been a hit success. I've actually got a review from the future and it says five stars.

Good, really good. Yeah, fab bilous And that was from half Post And that's it the Melbourne that's it. The Melbourne leg I've got. The Sydney show is coming up end of April early May. You want to come along to that.

I spoil anything, but has asked been player fera ment to open so if you want to see it live. I imagine if I was good enough to count you in with the.

Theremon No, I can't even imagine, you know what?

But can I thank you for listening? Everyone, Please give us a five star rating. We love you. Can do it on Spotify now. Apple podcast keeps us going, right If you haven't written a review on your new here like we heard we had it's a Minnesota listeners, write a review. It keeps us going and we love you. I We'll see you next week.

Catch you then it agains. That was a fun that mufty weed. Thankfully so it took us for your shows me, thanks damn babe?

Is it just me a podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.

Welcome to add breath. This is our secret segment on the end. Oh you should be doing this bit.

Actually I've never done it in the history of the show. Welcome to add brief. This is a secret segment on the end of the show. I wonder if I could play that sund effect on a heremon, Probably you.

Have to explain what a d brief is.

A is the back of this little part of the show where nothing is planned and we don't know what's going to happen.

It's meant to be the chaotic alternative to what otherwise is a really thoughtfully structured show. But it's yeah, this whole week with mufty weeks.

Yes, you know when you drink milk and now there's milk alternatives. You got oat milk, You've got some milk, You've got tit milk. Now add debrief is IgE am alternative. If you're allergic to the main show, you've got this.

If you have a bad reaction to the main show, if.

You need to be epipenn in the next straight after listening to the main show, this is for you. You know, Hayden said to me the other day, he goes, I think I'm lactose intolerant, Like, oh why, I guess, Well, ever since I started drinking because I live.

In Gleeb now of course I am no, he goaues.

I've been shitting myself after I drink milk. Then yes, that's like to like, yeah, that's a direct correlation.

But how does that come on all of a sudden, Like people who have never been lactose intolerant, all of a sudden just change one day. I feel like it's the virus, you know, like coronavirus, Like one day I'll catch the lactose intolerance.

Maybe you're right, Maybe we've spent too much time in the inner West near the city and we've just caught hypsterism.

Yeah, I have look at shit wearing fucking blue light glasses that serve no real purpose, playing the Thermo mix, wearing a little nit jumper like that.

It's a Ferra mix by Moog. If you want to look at this, guy's the Mini by Moog. It's very good. So the old theremon that I played for it's a wooden block with two antennas on the side, and it's just that one sound. This is the new state.

Of the art. You mean the old one you played?

Remember I played a sample of some kid playing it. Oh, that is a wooden block like a cheese block with two antennas. But this is state of the art. That's why it costs so much money. I can't return it now. Though I think it was a good investment, it feels like you're going to lose interest. That banjo is still in its case, still got the bags on it.

How do you actually get a banjo? Oh? That's right, fucking hell, I forgot.

I brought that into Yeah. That was during the at home shows. Yes, then we did the saxophone, of course, which I was really.

Bring a banjo in? Remember I played nah?

Yeah, it was at your house, at your house the drugs that appended the drugs.

Oh was that the episode where were doing it from my place because I just had surgery?

Yes, and I did it from your bedroom. I played the banjo in your bedroom.

I have no recollection.

I think that's what made Isabelle your cat fall for me.

I remember organizing the saxophone to come in here. Yes, and that was shocking.

But I return.

Oh yeah, and how was it?

I went, ye?

Really good? Did you vow that you were going to learn the banjo? Right?

Okay, but I'm not vowing all of them this I already know it. It's a nate in my bones, you don't. I am at one with the Pheromon.

Yeah. Okay.

Now, something I wanted to bring up on the show this week was the Will Smith Ster, but we can't. It's gonna be old by the time this comes out. But it has literally happened yesterday recording time. Do we all have hot takes on it?

I feel like there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Yeah, because there was like it ebbs and flows my feelings towards that, because at first I was like, yeah, good on you for standing up for your your bird, your missus, And then I was like, oh, violence is never really answer. But then I thought, well, no one would be talking about the issue if he hadn't done that, because it wouldn't have as much of a statement if you just had a polite adult conversation backstage.

Now, but you know what he could have done, which would have been really impactful. He could have got up there, took tagging the microphone and said, my wife is beautiful, don't make jokes about Alopecia's a disease, donate here at the Alopecia fund dot org, and then sat down.

How powerful that I have a feeling it wasn't that well thought through. No, I agree, but yeah, hindsight, it's the beautiful thing, isn't it.

I was watching it live and I was eating Sultana brand because it was like eleven thirty in the morning in the Australian time. Yeah, was early, and Hayden was working from home in the kitchen with his AirPods in a very important TikTok meeting Peach PRC's rehab video or something, and I went, oh, Hayden, I think there's something happening at the oscars. He went, shut up, something really big has happened. So I watched nine to eleven happened, and no one believed me. I saw it live.

It would have been weird to watch it live actually.

Because I was like, that's a joke, and everyone started laughing, and then the veins in his neck were bursting. It was very aggressive.

It's intense.

I really want to coin that phrase for myself. Now give me someone's name, Jess. You can't, No, that doesn't work. Like if someone slags you off, keep my co host name out of your fucking mouth. Quite satisfying to yell that.

Then he repeats it. That was powerful and put Oh my god, Chris Rock to go through live and he stuffed it up like the audio is. So He's like, I'm here to give the documentary documentaries and then he kept going with his jokes. Oh I felt for him. That was real. And it was punch in the face, slapped, slapped, which I think is worse. A slap covers more surface area and your skin tingles.

Yeah, but a punch kind of has more force because like you're using knuckles than you could like form a bruise in a matter of minutes. But a slap it's more just like a But when I when you listen to that grab the Will Smith shit, it sounds like a punch. Star must have been quite the hefty slap.

Yeah.

They were in the Dolby Fear to the Home of Dolby at most, so no wonder it sounded sobody good.

Yeah.

Do you want to hear the audio. I've got it right here. This is the slab if you missed it. Wow, wow, wow. One of the elites laughing. Dame Helen Mirren, I love it.

Mentioned how many people are right now listening to this podcast are like, oh, thank you so much for playing that audio. I've been looking for this everywhere. I could not find it. It has not been published.

Jim exclusive, Jim exclusive, Whites and Gentleman never before heard. That was my exclusive music that I wrote the score to. Call me hard Zimmer, call me back.

Not the stuff you get on the true composer.

He is a famous composer called Hayden, spelt the same way as Muba loved.

I'm sure there's a few Hayden's in the world.

No, h y d n. He's got the unique spelling.

Oh right, I didn't think is that is that unique? Yes?

Ah?

How's it usually spelled j y d ian Hey Dan. I've seen it spelled both, but it's plenty of times. Oh do you think that Mitchell's that only have one L are fucked by the way.

Yeah, the people that are like.

One L or two l's, I'm like, who has one? I don't know. I never met anyone. We'd just look naked the word without two l's. Mitchell, Yeah, Mitchell, it needs a double out need a double although I imagine being like, go to hell with one L?

Oh he fell with one L?

Yeah, you need both, he felt.

Yeah, do you get mispronounced as Michelle? All My uber each delivery divers go Michelle and I go, where the fuck is the e l E? You know?

I get that or the other one that makes no sense? Like Michelle, I kind of get, but Michael, yes, like you're just gonna ignore the tea? Are we?

Yeah, Michael, it's not a hard fucking name.

No, it's not.

It's Mitchell.

It doesn't help that I look like a woman now, So Michelle, is this what they would be?

They see me in the breast and they go, there she is, Michelle.

I was at a pub the other night and I was leaving the bathroom and as I opened the door, I kind of ran into someone who was about to walk in, and so we bumped into each other in the doorway and he goes, oh, and then sees me and goes, fuck, is this the men's And I was like, yeah, mate, he theok one look at me and goes, fuck, am I about to walk into the lady's room?

Oh? That's disgusting.

What's disgusting about it?

What a stupid thing to say from him.

I think it's an easy mistake to make.

Now, I looked gorgeous.

That nice.

You do look gorgeous. You do have a five PM shadow.

Maybe you just shaved not I can't remember, but yeah, it's at a first glance you would be like, fuck.

Yeah, do you think I could get away with wing in a woman's bathroom?

Probably not. I don't reckon, No, No, I do it all the time.

I'm all for gender neutral bathrooms. Just make my bathrooms a bathroom, guys.

Yeah. I mean a lot of places I go have that anyway. Really, Yeah, like stone Wall.

Oh yeah yeah, yeah my house. Yeah, the bathroom is for anyone.

Yeah, everyone's welcome.

Everyone's working in my b room. Oh my god. This morning, I was having a shower and I was in the shower when the doorbell rang, and I'm like like, package oh, just leave it. Great. So then I get out of the shower, put my towel around my waist, and walk out. And he's still standing there.

You got it in understand now, Because.

The shraining outside my showers, you probably said I'm a big, fat hot I'm gonna come in fuck me. So I walk and I have tits and I'm very insecure about my bat So I walk out and I go, oh, I've allably screened, and I can just imagined it. I screwed screened on that you want to eat that theerremone player, and he said you need to sign. I have to put a shirt on. He went, oh, you're fine, don't tell me that I'm fine, run through him and put my shirt on, which was annoying cause I was dripping wet,

I don't know why, but I've always been a little bit confused about why the male titties are allowed to be out but the women's ones are like, oh no, they're meant to be covered, because instinctively, for some reason, I always just cover my titties as well. Like if I ever walk around the kitchen at my place in a towel, Jordan will be like, why is that wrap around your whole body and not just your waist, And

Isn't it so dumb that Instagram will censor a topless woman, but not a topless man.

Yeah, I should post the topless photo and see what Instagram thinks.

I am.

Yes, imagine, imagine that I just post a photo of me being like free the nipple? Have you?

You know what? This was gonna sound really weird, But I was thinking about your nipples the other day.

Yeah, not fair enough.

A photo was put up and I thought, you your nipples looked good. Yeah, I saw a photo of your nipples.

I thought, when did I put my nipples up?

I'm trying to think it was really recent? You were topless and I thought, gee, he looks great.

What I can't remember anything I've posted the topless Have you posted anything topless?

I'm I go to your feed?

No, definitely not in feed.

Hm.

Oh I remember it was for the celebration of the one hundredth episode. I think you posted a swipe through and you in your Marti Gras uniform and it was pulled down and yours.

No, I haven't. That's the video when I asked you, does my belly button look like a clip?

Yes? Yeah, but your tits were out And I don't know where I saw that grab or if one of as shared it or someone shared.

It it's onout TikTok. If you go find me looking like an absolute drunk man, you can't talking about my belly button looking like a clep.

You can't go onto our TikTok at the moment, it's just so viral comments.

Just anyway, you thought I had a good set of bullies on me?

Did you have a lovely set of yet?

Thanks?

Yeah, you were freshly sprayed hand. I think wax the boot because of the back pedal. Just let the compliment breathe at the moment. Another one, Jenna, what do you have?

I'll try the fans one?

Really?

How's the creaming stamache?

I finished it? Smash that thing? Really?

Why don't we have any passion?

Now you've got fanto and passion, you better drink it or we'll get ants. Is it just me on the fly or your parents also obsessed with the notion of ants? What my parents always Oh, you drop the crumbs on the floor, You dropped your capillo called ice cream. You're gonna get ants? Go to the go to the corn store and get ant. Raid.

Oh they were that anti ant.

They was so anti ann.

Fuck.

Also each on the fly Americans, how they say like an anti acid.

They go ant acid, Yeah, a acid, Oh, I need an add acid. It sounds like that's your auntie's name. Yes, an Acid's coming over and acid.

Will be here. It's a great drag queen name. Don't please, welcome to the stage. And acid. Yeah, but like it's anti acid. Like they just dropped the ti. Also each on the fly instead of herbs in America, you know what they say, herbs, herbs, herbs. Oh, I had the best potato and a herb mash, but erb Oh I love her.

Herb garden.

Oh and the fires that burn down the herbs.

My uncle herb uncle earv Yes, they added an h two words that start with a vowel and then ditch the eighth, so it's like, oh, my uncle herb.

You know, I'm not good with vows and consonents and confuses me. When I was in acting school in New York's I lived in New York, there was a guy named Graham we went to school with, and I would go, oh, Graham, great when you get Starbucks, Graham, want to do the scene Graham, Graham, No, no, no, everyone else Graham.

Yeah, I don't get that, Graham, Graham.

Gee, I am oh I love your Graham.

We were talking about this the other day, won't we How they say mirror as an unable mirror?

Mirror, mirror mirror? Are you a slow cat mirror mirror?

That fucking filth We used to work with, used to same mirror.

Yeah, all the time, look in the mirror, Graham, Graham.

How many grams? Graham? Yeah?

How many? Grant going a bit the manic? I feel?

How many grams of herb Graham? All right? I think Mitchell, if you were to rank Joey's doorbell against this, which is the better doorbell? Because this is the ultimate doorbell We've just in my mind, I.

Don't think that is the ultimate doorbell. Think about it. If that was actually in your home, that would scare the living fuck out of you and your family. Like, there's just no way that wouldn't catch you off guard after ten it or it doesn't make your guests feel welcome. It makes them feel like a real burden if that's their entrance.

Hello, I'm here.

I'm so sorry to serve you. Yeah, Like if that went off when I arrived at someone's house, I'd be like, oh fuck, I'm so sorry for that disruption.

Jenner actually sent me this aord you grab of her doorbell? You ready to hear this? It's not actually on the wall is a man with a conch.

I wish that you could do like a custom voice like you know how your voicemail, you can do a custom greeting. I wish you could do like a custom doorbell, and so I could just voice record something into the doorbell and then when people press the button, it fires it off. I think someone rise to my house? All right? We are, Yeah, just arrived to Mitchell's early because I'm respectful and up on time. Just bring the doorbell.

Yeah, I think you can do that with a ring doorbell, which is like the techy doorbell that people have these days. Fucking hell, because in Tesla's in electric those electric cars, you can custom your horn. You can customize your horn so it can do whatever you want any sound. Really, you just download the MP three, upload it to your car, and you play the horn.

Oh my god, I'm going to put so much shit as my horn. Listen.

Ready, have you seen the Tiktoks Tesla Horn TikTok compilation. Let's play that. It's Addison Ray ready.

So is there just like a big ass megaphone in the tesla or something that plays.

It that loudly. No, that's the horn.

I don't think you're understanding my question. How the fuck does that make the MP three play that loudly? Is there like a big megaphone or something. You make a good point, You don't have the No, I.

Here, ready, this is it are?

Your answer was no, it's the horn. I understand that bit.

Bollywood music is a horn, now, Mitchell, next week you can put you back to work. If you're listening to this and you drive a Tesla and you want a custom is it just me horn? We will send you the working file I can send it. You just need to be willing to film yourself using the tesla horn. Mitch. What could yours be?

Oh, let me have a look.

I'll think of one for me, and we'll send you the three options.

I've told you about this before on the podcast, that I have a folder full of isolated like reactions of ours for editing purposes if I ever need it.

Great, so we don't even need to make them up.

This is pertly, but for me it's mostly just like I don't have any sentences that I've used. Okay, Oh wait, yes, I do. I've never used this grab once. It's me saying yes, as if i'd ever need to agree with you. Yes, yeah, that's good.

When would you use we'd have to.

Record custom ones. It's be like move, we can use that as their horn.

Let's just do them now. I've got one.

Okay, a.

Imagine that someone trying to merge on the highway.

Ah.

Yeah, no, because you needed a horn that's applicable to every situation.

Yeah, it needs to be universal.

Why that's terrifying. That kind of works.

Now I'm more passive. I wouldn't go I would never go on the traffic.

What did you do this? Would you do this?

No?

That's good? Yeah, yeah, that's good. That's good. No, all right, if you have a Tesla or another electric car, sorry to shun other electric cars, damus and we will get you the working files and make them your horn, and we'll make it worth you one. I'll play the ceremon at your funeral. Are you wedding?

What shoul Jenner's one be?

I'm turning mitches in my mic. Off you're making your own horn?

Now, goodwie, surely not.

That's horrific.

You sounded like the thermomix.

Oh dear, Yeah, that's a lot, isn't it. I know what Jenne's horn would be. Really, I am.

Just that.

You get so over it. This would be a good horn, though. Actually that's so regal. I'd really love you. I have arrived Squire on horseback, I've ridden forty moon sets. We're done this. I'll go shoot from mich On to.

Oh my god. Imagine if you made your your horn like a plane crash sound effect, and then everyone's like, what happened?

Why don't you make your horn a siren. Once the cop get hold of the capabilities of this, they'll make it.

Oh yeah, you just make yourself sound like a police car and be like, get out of the way, idiots, I've got somewhere to be. Does anyone want this is their horn? Thegin wash, not our wash, the egin wash.

Get out of liy?

What if you just made your horn someone yelling help? I think something going help. I think that someone trapped in someone's boot. Help.

I know what to be a good horn?

Ready?

Wow?

Nah, we've got different tasting horns. Clearly, Okay, whatever you want your horn to be, let us know. We'll put it into your tesla. And we'll get that footage all played on the show next week. I'm sure someone listening right now in a Tesla is open to it. I know someone with a Tesla.

Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, Actually testro tesla last week at the dealership. He goes, do this change the blinker sound effect to a fart?

See, that's ridiculous. What do we if we're if we're being cut some horns? What should our custom linkers be? Yeah? Nah, yeah, nah, yeah nah Yeah.

That might have just been two variables in my life.

That's good.

That'd be very good.

Oh what else could I be? Yeah? And I can't think of anything, nor should I. It's mark Up week. I'm not doing anywhere. I'm not anything my brain.

We should go though, happy mack up week and happy good up two shows and make sure once again thanks if anyone wants there. In one on one class is my rate through the through the room and as it should be for my skill level? But still reach out and of course I you've got to test that.

Let us know. It's like Marge Simpsons says, you only have to be one lesson ahead of the kid. Oh, just teach them what you learned last time.

I love that we're quoting margin life now and.

As she goes, I'll take up to make extra money. Marge Simpson says, oh, I'll start giving piano lessons, and she goes, you don't play piano. I only need to be one lesson ahead of the kid. That's very cute.

Yeah, well I agree. Well I'm one lesson behind them. To give you a couple of days and I'll be up to scratch, all right, be love. Do you think you're listening everyone? And we'll see you next week.

Yeah, let us know if math few weeks should be something that we do again, I'm not vibe and I'm not sure. Well, well it feels all over the shop. Well we mul that over.

Pig Week is coming up in the next few weeks as well. Yeah, of course we've I think we missed pig Week last year.

No, last week was pig Week.

Last year was the first pig Week?

Yeah, yeah, well how could we have missed it? One?

I don't know if it's been over one, direct has been under one.

Pig Week was when I first started seeing a pet and that was the reason for it. It was like a one final pig out before I started watching my diet and that was a month before Lockdown and Lockdown with July. So I'm going to say may or something.

Okay, all right, so yeah, and by the way, we're working on that Adrim telefon talk about teams live will be happening. I'm talking to a broadcast technician at the moment. Well, you need to know on that.

Okay.

I hope this podcast meet you mean you can do it. It is your catchphrase. And I know you're not doing the work, but go for it.

Ah, you expect me to do it. I forget to set me to do that in my wake up.

I'll accompany it. I'll place out, I'll place out.

Try and make it a bit more soothing sounding. We hope this podcast made you feel at least two percent better today. That's all just two percent.

So we do.

See you next week.

It's very Culty Captain next week. Idiots love you have fa Is it just me?

A podcast by a couple of meches.

Make sure you've hit follow on your podcast app.