EP 29 Losing over 150 Pounds with God's Help - Monette Matadi

And I just laugh and giggle and just say, Jesus, look at what you've done and everything. So, but my brother died from an obesity related condition and , um , December of 2012 and he was 45 years old. He was only 13 months older than me. And God had been dealing with me about , um , my weight and I had gotten up into and to give a testimony at church. And when we lived in Georgia , um , back in 2012 and I was up there talking about how God goes the most important thing in my life.

And I felt the Holy spirit kind of prick me a little bit on the inside and say, Oh, really? Um , it's pretty obvious that food has a very important role in your life as well. And so that was just the power of the Holy spirit , sweet conviction on this , started planting seeds in my life , um, to bring that area of my life under the authority of Christ and to get some healing from that.

So I , um, I , uh, I , I like to say that I just came into agreement with the Lord about the stand of my gluttony. Wow. And so he had already established that conviction in my heart. And so I needed to accept that it was a sin for me and , um , to invite his Holy spirit to convict me. And so I came into agreement with my span , um, what the Lord co-led and then ask for the Holy spirit to convict me. And so I literally did that . Holy spirit, please convict me of this Santa of gluttony .

Wow. Right ? And grieve my spirit and grieve Michael the way that it grieves you when I choose food over you. And then I boldly kept praying and said, and bring Christian women into my life who will stand in agreement and not just tell me that it's okay. So God always so faithful to answer those. And then I also said in praise, give me the courage to pray this prayer when I wake up in the morning. Cause it was one of those desperate midnight prayers.

And so I've seen countless family members and friends who've really struggled with that. And I think it's very amazing to hear your perspective. And like I said, just inviting that conviction in I think is very brave. Like you said, that people have told you, a lot of people don't want to do that because they don't want to admit that it's an issue. Right . Um,

I'm like, we're supposed to measure up to something outside of ourselves other than who God says we are. And I growing up, even as a young girl, I mean, and , and like elementary school in junior high, I've always been tall. I'm like five, nine. And so I'm, you know, taller than average for a woman or whatever. And my best friend was five foot tall, barely five foot tall. And I was comparing myself to her. I mean, you know, like how crazy and she had blonde hair and blue eyes.

I had, you know, really red curly hair and I was five, nine, there was no way I was ever going to look like Katrina. And , um , and I just, I don't know where that I got a , I don't know, another life and the enemy that I picked up on, you know, that you need to look like that. And so for me today, I just want to be the best, you know , that I can be who God created me to be and not compare myself, you know, to other women.

And so today I can actually, you know, thank God that woman is so pretty and all of that stuff and not be jealous or not feel inferior or whatever. Just I guess in call it just being, we call it a lot in recovery, just being comfortable in our own skin. And that just comes from, like I said, just agreeing. Come into agreement with who Christ says I am. I don't have to figure it out. He already, he's already says it.

He already knows I just need to get into the word and I'm , and play that into my heart and allowed those seeds to grow. Not the fear and the lies and the doubt from the enemy, but the truth from the Lord, you know?

And if we're not getting that satisfaction, that comfort and contentment from the Lord, we run to other things, whether that's food, alcohol, anything else, it's definitely an issue that we need to get to the root of and asking God, what do you say about this? Who am I? Why, why is this coming into play and how can I change this? How can you help me walk through this ?

And um, and so she said, monad , she said, she said, being overweight will not keep you out of heaven, but you will not go being obedient in that area of your life. Wow. It was like an arrow. It was like a dagger in my heart and just appears thing our , you know, our wouldn't in my heart of, of, and I was just so convicted and I prayed to the Lord and I said, Jesus, you would help nothing from me on that cross. You bled it all out for me. You died, you died for all of that.

And please, I know I just, I want to , I want to be found being obedient and every area that I possibly can. So that's where my journey started. That's where the process started. And then one of my brother did die and like I said, he was 45 and left behind three boys under the age of 14. On his autopsy. It says, you know, condition, as I said , associated with obesity as caused the death. And um, and so I had a daughter at the time, he was five.

And um, that was just motivation for me to really just allow this to be brought under the authority of Jesus Christ and get healed from that once in all . Cause just like so many people, I'd struggled with an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life. Wow .

Wow. You know, I never, I just never really thought, you know, is this something that God cares about? But in Matthew and Luke, it talks about, he's numbered the hairs on our head and in Psalm it talks about he's collected our tears in a bottle. He's numbered our and we like we're shedding right now as we speak, the number of hairs on our heads are changing and he cares about that. He's collected and recorded every tier . So it's like, okay God, I'm going to invite you in.

If I believe the Holy spirit lives inside of me, which I do, and on my body's a temple, then why not? I'm like, God, do you God, how do you want me to feed your temple? And I think, you know, so many years we're just jumping on all these different bandwagons but God is my creator. And so it was just, it wasn't like an act of total disobedience, but it was just like, I just never had thought about it. So it really, we were kind of talking about it was a change in mindset.

Wow. So, and 2011 I found that book, Bob, that Lisa Turkers wrote and it's called my DECRA made to crave. And that was, I didn't start my journey until 2013. But boy, that book really did start planting seeds about choosing, I'm choosing food over God or whatever. And um, she was a woman who probably had 10 or 15 pounds to lose, but she got it and wrote a book about it. And of course, you know, she's very well known for other things.

But , um, that was kind of where the seed started being planted of that. This really is, you know, this really is something that I need to get under the authority of Jesus Christ.

And on the inside of that book, it's , it's like October the 11th of 2011 I wrote that my weight, it was not just a physical issue, that it was a spiritual and emotional issue and that there were things, I felt like God had said to me, Oh , now there are things that I want to do through you that I cannot do as long as you have, you know, this relationship with food. And it wasn't like he was going to ask me to go climb Mount Everest and so physically I'm not going to be able to do that 300.

He was like, no, I cannot, you know, you're not gonna be free. You're not gonna be free until you get this. Um, and so that was, you know, I would like one more time, I keep saying, I just came into agreement. Um, I tend, like I said, I like to pray bold prayers, but sometimes my prayers can be really simple.

And my, my question journey for the Lord, you know, really , um, the intimacy that I've been able to experience with him, you know, for the last 10 years since age 40, just came from a simple prayer of God just, you know, help me fall in love with you more and help me fall in love with your word because I can't know the Lord without knowing his word. And so that is where, you know, this, you know, tastes like we talked about taste and saith the Lord is God .

You start tasting and experiencing him. That's what I hunger and thirst for now is him and his peace, his peace is so priceless to me. And I've told the Lord, I can go anywhere and I can do anything. I can't go without your pace because we've all gone through hard things. You know, we've all gone through trying times and I'm like, God, and I, I, you know, but I can't go without your piece . And I was like, I'm not going without you.

And there's examples in the Bible or they're like, I'm not going without you Lord. So I'm just one more time following, you know, the examples that were set before us, you know, when his word and everything. And so I, his piece is priceless to me. And , um, when I it to go and to back 10 to any my addictions, you know, there's no peace in that for me. Am I capable of doing that?

Yeah. If I get too far off the path emotionally and spiritually, I'm capable with anything and everything, but I, you know, I come to where that he is my source. And so that is what I hunger and thirst for now and everything's ,

So as we're born and raised in Alabama, so coming from the deep South, it was just very much a part of that. So , um, so that was modeled for me in my home, but as I, what I did have to get down to the bottom of was that being sexually abused, you know, as, as a young girl. And , um, that , that's really where I started using food for comfort and everything. So I've been clean and sober. I've been sober from alcohol and I'm clean from prescription pain pills since September of 2009.

So I had experienced other areas of addiction and unhealthy relationships with, you know, things outside of the Lord. Um, and so, but then I, I knew about the sexual abuse. It just wasn't really, it was like, yes, it happened and it was bad, but I never just allowed the Lord to really heal that. I never brought it out into his healing light. Um, now that I've done a lot of reading and stuff on it, I think it's very prevalent for women who have unhealthy relationships with food.

Whether it shows up as anorexia, bulimia or just morbid obesity or whatever, that there's a lot of sexual abuse that stems from our childhoods at , um, you know, we need to get healed and then we can kind of start healthy, you know, picking up healthier coping skills instead of, you know, outside substances and everything. So that was yes, to heal from that , um , was very , um, I took a year off and was single for a year back in 2015, 16.

And that's when God really , um, um, I, even though I had already lost the weight, I think it was a very, very important for me to go back and do that so that I didn't pick up food again. I had to go in and [inaudible] like, what was I eating over? I wasn't obviously hungry. Yeah . All that time. Just like when I was drinking, I wasn't thirsty. I was eating and using to change how I failed. So I needed to bring that out into God's healing light. And of course he was always, you know, faithful.

He was waiting, you know, I just needed to allow him to have that.

So I am, the difference with food is, you know, if I go out and hit three drive , you three drive throughs and three hours, I don't have to check my rear view mirror for the police. They're not going to come pull me over. And you know, I'm not going to have my mugshot taken and end up in County jail and an orange jumpsuit, you know, for overeating. So, and I believe that. Um, but you know, the very first sin, what did the enemy used? It was food to attempt a woman. That's right .

I mean, you know, and of course it was what the, what the fruit was gonna with ho , you know, hold for her. But obviously, yeah, it was, you know, that has never been lost on me that the very first, then that food was used as the temptation. Um , I know the enemy wants to come and tempt us with everything he possibly can. So food is good. It's wonderful. It's a gift from the Lord. It's meant to be enjoyed.

But just like so many other things in my life, I want to take it to excess and then overdo it. But yes. Um, I believe that I like then that's what I had to, I had to ask the Holy spirit to convict to me. Wow. Not just to minimize it and not just play along with what so many, you know, what my, my mindset of it's okay. It's not that big of a deal. Um , as I grew closer to the Lord, my relationship with him was growing acrylic , you know, stronger.

So that conviction was getting stronger and I knew that the Lord loved me, but out of my love and respect and admiration, you know, admiration and gratitude for him, I really, like I said, I really wanted to be found obedient in as many areas as I possibly can. Yeah . So like I said at the beginning, I had to change my mindset. I had to call it a sin. Yeah . I had to invite the pain and the conviction and um, you know, God was just faithful to do that.

And then, you know, he placed women in my life. Thankful who said, yes, my 90 days is thin and you need to get this right

I basically , um, just ate low carb and you know, ate a lot of protein and ate a lot of like low carb vegetables or whatever. I ate when I was hungry. I stopped when I was full, you know. Um , but I really, I did eliminate things from my, because I was so addicted to, you know, like , um , sugar and carbs and just that junky stuff. And , um, so I, it , like I said, I did have a drug in my life, so I had to just like practice abstinence. Obviously you can't do without food completely.

Um , that's where boy, the power of the Holy spirit really comes in because I'm having to sit down with my drug of choice and practice moderation. And so obviously I removed the substances like sugar and white flour and that kind of stuff that we're really feeding that and um , kind of detox from those things. And so it really, but God was so gracious. It really just became natural and how I prefer to eat. And so even in that year, 2013, when I lost over 150 pounds, it was truly a miracle.

I mean, God was like, and I tried to exercise, I used to be a compulsive exerciser and I started compulsively starting to exercise again. And then God just shut that down. He was like, you are not going to do this. This is going to be all about me. So I get all the praise and I get all the glory. And so now we know exercise is good. But I was , it was another thing I took to the extreme. It was other thing I was being, I was obsessive and compulsive about.

So I started going, you know, at 300 something pounds. I was pretty limited with what I can do. But I tried to go get on a stationary bike and for 30 minutes, well, the next day, guess what? You got to do 45 Oh the next day you need to do an hour. So it didn't take me long to start off on that little rat race in my head and God kind of shut that down. And so what that tells me is that , um, yes, I, I, you know, if I exercise or I need to move my body, that's, that's good. But it's not an excuse.

He removed that as an excuse of, Oh, I can't lose weight because I don't, I can't go to the gym or I can't work out, or I have this, there's so many excuses, but God is above and beyond all of those excuses. Obviously if he calls me to do something, calls us to do something, he's going to equip us and give us the tools that we need to be successful, you know, for his, for his honor and his glory.

Um, I went on my first date when I was 15, and , um , I was 43 when I started this journey with the Lord. And so , um , he really did want it to be all about him and I wanted it to , I think that was the only way it was going to be sustainable and permanent. You know, it was for him to be the author and perfecter and the sustainer of it. Any half .

I'd been thin plenty of times before and even, you know much, you know, quite a bit smaller than I am now, but I wasn't, I was still had the mindset of food was still idol , you know, it was still all about how I look. And , um , we were talking about earlier about the comparison being a joy killer.

You know, I don't come , I, the more that I come into agreement with who God says I am and my identity in Christ, I'm not walking into a room comparing myself to anyone else who's thinner , who's prettier, who has on the better clothes or whatever. I don't watch a lot of TV or read magazines and let's it's football. So I get spared a whole lot of that. And that has been helpful to me that I just don't compare myself, you know?

Um , I, and there are things about my body that, yeah, I could probably tone out my arms a little bit, but it's like, you know what, I don't complain or criticize myself cause I'm not doing anything to change it. So if I'm not changing something, I'm choosing it. Mm . So I can't, you know, so I try not to complain about things. I'm not trying to change. You're asking the Lord to change because obviously I'm choosing it.

But I will tell you to have lost that amount of weight for God just to release it was like 150 pounds of disobedient flesh is what I call it. Wow. 150 pounds of disobedient flesh is what the Lord removed from me in 2013 I have very, very minimal, you know, loose skin. It's , that is a miracle of God's grace and everything. I mean, cause , um , and I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but I guess that's why we call it a miracle and we call it God.

So I did get a miracle and I get to live in that miracle every day because even getting up and getting dressed to come here and then finding those, you know, those pants, I'm like, really? God, look at you, look at what you've done, you know? So, so yeah, my tears of gratitude are still very, very frequent, even though it's been seven years. And I, I just know that because I struggled with it for so many years of my life and I thought it was normal.

I thought it was a natural, I'm always going to be on a diet. I'm always going to be watching what I eat. I'm always going to be obsessing about it and crisis like , no , I died for that. I don't have, cause I remember I used to say, Oh I can't wait till I get to heaven. I can eat whatever I want to and I won't care how I look. God's like, why you don't, you know, you can live in that freedom here. Wow. You know, he can't die or be resurrected any more than he has. He's already done the work.

Like he said, it's finished. My job is to walk into it. That's so good. Walk into it for myself and then man, spread it. Cause that's what my God, you have failed me up so much with this. Sometimes it gets overwhelming and I'm like, give me an outlet to share this. And so he asked me years ago, will you be faithful to the ones and twos that I bring into your life? And I said, absolutely.

So anytime you brings a woman into my life, and a lot of times when they find out they're like, their first question is, guess what? There's like, well what did you eat? What did you do? What kind of exercise did you do? And a lot of times these women, you know, are like me in their forties and 50s and I do you know how to diet and exercise? Oh my gosh, yes, my whole life.

I said, well then I'm not going to share with you specifically what I did for diet and exercise, because if you already know how to diet and exercise, it's not a lack of knowledge. It's a lack of application. Wow. And I said, there's something in your life that maybe God wants to heal. And I said, because that's what he had to do with me. I said, so take that before the Lord and ask him. Well ,

And , um, so I just, I want to encourage anyone , um, whatever it is, whether it's, you know, money, you know, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, everything , um, anything that we're turning to other than the Lord and his word , um , to just bring that into the healing light of God. And I don't know, I guess I pray that this might be a weird pray. Like, I pray that you, I'm just like my experience and what the Lord did for me.

Like you will be driven , um, to pray those prayers of a conviction and to invite the Lord in and to heal that. Um, cause he's, he's so ready to do that and he's already died for us to have that.

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