Into Your Head - Archives Feed

810: The Littlest Hobo and the Leprosy Bell

Neal discusses things to consider when falling to Earth, the impenetrable mechanics of swatting a fly, victim-blaming a fly, nondescriptness, a dog’s attempts to line it’s stomach, why the Littlest Hobo should learn better posture, why dinosaurs could have been pets, assessing the moon’s flammability, a fly relates to Billy Joel’s No Man’s Land, how air crash investigators measure customer satisfaction, the difference between a lighthouse and the sun, the role of rear view mirrors in space trave...

806: Blood in your Head of Guinness

Neal discusses a problem he has in common with Beatle Paul McCartney, a surgeon and a tree surgeon comparing notes, truly hollow fruits, the body as a trickle down economy, doctors berating the comatose, the very worst thing to take on a plane, manicure and footwear logistics for upright cats, cranberry sauce nuts, outsourcing your bedtime thoughts, the face as a fake shopfront facade, dropkick me Jesus through the goalposts of life, toothbrushing on TV, “coming right up” as a catchprhase, child...

805: Two Handcuffs or Three?

In a podcast laden with twists and nail-biting revelations as we sit in on a jail hardened dog’s parole review, Neal considers what an M and M is, Mother Nature’s periodic landscapes, a doctor’s views on bi-directional blackboard scraping, the dog bitch to dog Hitler ratio, dog parole board makeup, the French resistance on ‘Allo ‘Allo (BBC1), what home means to a dog serving life, lingusitics versus comas, putting yourself in the dog’s shoes, something I learned watching Letterman (Columbia Broa...

804: Intellectually Honest Meatloaf Recipies

In the first show of 2024 Neal discusses the term “west brit”, Trevelyan, a cat avoiding New Year’s beer scams, a dog’s dealings with the registrar of deaths and stuff, defining hella dodgy, Hurricane Charlie mountain memories, songs about meatloaf, accepting that toilets trigger thirst, Chas and Dave but not Status Quo, realities of building a road to the Moon, a show-permeating glasses incident, fine line between Nowhereland and Doctor Who, what is a dog’s business?, civil defence raincoats, B...

803: Christmas on a Popsicle Stick

In a Christmas special culminating in the heartwarming story of a foulmouthed fake Santa who holds up bars, Neal discusses face cloth enthusiasts, introducing your child to A Clockwork Orange (1972), conversations with a working dog, a guide to shooting yourself in the foot, dogs in soap operas, how parenting ends, a deleted undersea mountain climber story, watching Highlander (1986) for the Queen songs, a barman’s secret life, a barman’s alternative work ethic, inventing a trailor system for ho...

802: Custody of a Padlock

Neal discusses reassuring a fast food operative who’s seen Michael Douglas in Falling Down (1993), the trouble with one-way vocal chords, whodunnits at mass, thoughts of a depressed eternal dog, bar security’s guide to aging a cat, a new way to deliver heating oil, misinterpreting a blue moon, temporal extradition, custody of a padlock, cat linguistics, commissioning the word bespoke , smuggling toast, smiting technique, TV sets versus alters, nasal linguistics, portable church memories, cinema ...

801: Air Investigator First, Elephant Second

eal discusses sit-com bunk bed envy, takey-offey parachutes versus landy parachutes, a dignified way to kill off libraries, eternal peanuts, where cabaret fits in the grand scheme of things, a curtailed feed remnant advisory for returning listeners, fooling yourself with documentaries, Everest without a Walkman, measuring hell-broken-loose levels, steamboats and whitewashing, long distance stewing, casting then uncasting the dead parents on Diff’rent Strokes, the right elephant for the job, rebo...

800: You could fry an egg on the rocks

In an 800th episode during which he may have overdone the energy drinks somewhat, (although the Cat Stevens part is true) Neal exposes a gaping loophole for toddler movie producers and discusses merry-go-rounds versus the events depicted in The Deer Hunter (1978), what he learned in his days in a Dublin boxing arena, achieving immortality by outwitting his future self, sit-com revolving door tropes, novel advice for joggers, you could fry an egg on the rocks / stones / sidewalk – if you had an e...

799: High Praise from a Giraffe

Neal discusses the imaginary listener’s secret existential crisis, approximating the taste of grass for the discerning diner, a new way to measure your height, whether crosswords count as relaxation, changing atitudes to chimneys, what’s under your face, the first humans ever to see a bridge, canal tow-path horse height issues, harmonica design mysteries, Lovely Daaaaaaaaaay versus a barking barman, canal tow path issues, demons in undergound systems, a horse’s head versus a railway bridge, impr...

798: How Silence Works

In an hour culminating in an elightening explanation, using the story of his recently departed mother’s 1950s or early 1960s Atlantic crossing, of how silence works, Neal discusses why animals need to become gardeners, your chances of getting a pharmacist to sell you tea or paracetemol or cocaine, the movie “Downsizing”, quicksand on a playing field, the pros and cons of having Anthony Hopkins as your family doctor, how cats buy rounds, the folly of wine tasting, Robin Williams, Robbie Williams,...

797: No Kneecapping

Neal discusses turning against Tom Hanks, a cat versus Pope Benedict XVI, Apple Pencils in banks, turning against Monopoly, a beverage based on some woman off Deep Space Nine, misexplaining Occupy Wall Street, off-air cat songs, debriefing a temporary cat, why you should have something wrong with you, fonts in the blood, transmitting barmen over the Wicklow Mountains, taking up space, IT security as entertainment, cistern noise analysis, treadmills versus conveyor belts and more.

796: Quod Erat Vometorium

Neal discusses filling a bath from the bottom, an anti-prelude, harmonica haters, witchhunts under Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, isolated tool-blaming, the case for (domestic) cats vomiting on each other, QED memories, a particularly taxing song for harmonica, what to drink in a vomitorium, understanding bass guitar operators, misunderstanding Queen’s John Deacon, vomitorium enthusiasts in academia, navigating company law for vomitoriums, the IT role in a vomitorium, the life of an off-duty vomit...

795: A Weekend in Jail

Neal deals with how head transplants do or don’t work, cinematography of Pope John Paul II and Oscar Schindler, how donkeys are processed hygenically, the problem with Steve Jobs RIP, a cat purchasing fake magic in a laundrette, elephants in a library, the problem with the human digestive system, surviving a long weekend in prison, what to do after you’ve made lemons into lemonde, talking microbes with guns (fictional), what Bob Geldof was right about, a synopsis of Better Caul Saul, awards vers...

794: Reinventing the Inhaler

Neal discusses pre-recorded bungee jump commentary, training podcast listeners, fighting fire with actual fire, gorillas in the news, PC disposal vesus bear disposal, finding a milkman in 2023, life as a margarine factory line foreman, the real reason for the seven year hiatus, how a cat verifies podcast listeners, that excellent ten-part drama about either Freud or Einstein, conversations in a margarine factory, cooking a load of crap, milk truck misconceptions, predecessors to pigs, Apple’s ha...

793: Armchair Liars

Archival Note: Into Your Head podcast initially ran from 2006 to 2016, then went away for seven years. it returned in Autumn 2016. Neal officially unretires Into Your Head podcast after seven years! Topics include the brief interlude since 2016’s Show 792, a prodical son, how lemonade works, coffee shop marzipan violence, a civilised summons, single use gold, Siskel or Ebert or Roeper or the other one, the podcast co-host protection system, zero on the dog scale, Mak my day versus Be my guest, o...

792A: Pre-Comeback Rough Warmup Audio (After brief 7 year hiatus)

Archival Note: Into Your Head podcast initially ran from 2006 to 2016, then went away for seven years. it returned in Autumn 2016. This is Show 792A – Labelled as 792.5 in some systems. Original description: A short test transmission as Into Your Head prepares to emerge from it’s brief seven year absence. Show 793 will be along in a week or so.

Vintage era – 792: Pilot (Last show before brief 7 year hiatus)

Archival Note: Into Your Head podcast initially ran from 2006 to 2016, then went away for seven years. it returned in Autumn 2016. This episode was the last one before the (then unexpected) interlude.

Vintage era – 791: David Bowie’s Fork

Vintage era – 790: Pizza String

Pies for minors, hiring a pilot, Paint Monsters, prepping a hair bal and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland

Vintage era – 789: Supermyth

The racist listener, ear wax theatre and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 788: The Pelican Diet

Deconstructing a pyramid, controlling the sun, nutrition advice for zombies and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 787: Ploughed to Death

How hospital staff access your legs, reading notes to yourself in real time, thinking with a sore neck, something about cows, something about the end of the world, something about a dog in a vomitorium and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 786: Two Podcast Hiatuses walk into a Bar

The original description claims that this is a short comeback episode to start a new season of Into Your Head, failing to predict a looming seven year hiatus. Sorry about that.

Vintage era – 785: Trialogue

Misunderstanding baseball, legislating for beverage-recycling, how to pre-own a plumbing tool, emergency cat names, defining a trialogue, toughening your brain toughness training, eradicating philistines, wheelie bin leasing issues and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 784: Stuck together with God’s Stew

Pancakes and ashes, cloning a toaster, self inflicted sock-stuffing, how to cook a Universe, playing with adhesives, second-guessing a smoke detector, Louis Armstrong at The Sphinx, the problem with drops, how to throw an analogy out the window and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 783: The Penn and Teller of the Cat World

The problem with time, anatomy of a comb, The Penn and Teller of the Cat World, Gymnasticians, A career in toothpaste design, A giant hole / Robert De Niro, underestimating your own intelligence and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 782: The Dirty LIttle Secret Behind Inaminate Objects

Placebo aviation, amateur surgery, the argument against fiction, podcasts as penance, mice in zoos, the dirty little secret behind inanimate objects, the battle for damp skin, home made beverages and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland. There’s also a classic episode of Athy Weekly World News with Shainne Greoige.

Vintage era – 781: Finding Your Helicopter

hy Top Gear won’t use my cats, how to ask for a helicopter, The link between space exploration and accountancy training, how to avoid offending a glove puppet operator, non-expiring Near Year greetings, remembering “Eat the Peach” and more, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 780: In-Cat Purchases – A Christmas Special

In-cat purchases, Meatloaf’s tin foil issues, energy drink placebos, cats in Bethlehem, working in a Christmas tree factory, making monkey nuts seasonal, Winter sports days, stand-up violence, things that don’t kill you, Elvis’ family tree, repeating everything you’ve ever done, and lots more. It’s the 2014 Christmas special, with your humble proprietor Neal from Ireland.

Vintage era – 779: Cats in Equity