You are listening to What in the Winkler and iHeartRadio podcast. Hi, welcome back to another episode of What in the Winkler. Today, I have two incredible women joining me as guests, and I know them personally and I work with one of them as my healer. I've talked about her before on this podcast. Her name is Jackie Leonardini. She's a clairvoyant, an energy healer, and a certified soul coach. Casey Crown, her partner, is a trans personal psychotherapist, consultant, wellness educator,
and activist. Her work challenges old mental health paradigms and suggests that true wellbeing lies in our ability to balance scientific and spiritual perspectives. They have created something called the Well Soul Workshop. I've gone twice and it's changed my life. Let's let them in, Okay, So I just want to thank you guys for being here.
Awesome.
I have talked about Jackie many times on this podcast.
I work with her once a.
Week and Kate See is her partner in Welsaull Workshop. She's also, as I said earlier, an incredible, incredible therapist and human being and friend, and I begged her to be my therapist, but that would be beyond inappropriate.
So instead every time I see her, I just corner her.
But I wanted you guys first of all. I want to talk about Welsoul Workshop and what it did for me as a human being, and what it has done for so many of my friends, and how you guys came up with the idea before we jump into everything else.
Katie, why didn't you jump in and tell the origin story of our partnership.
Yeah, so thank you for having us, Zoe. Thank you for so fun to be here with you. I got to be with you this weekend. I'm going to get to be with you next weekend. So I feel like I'm getting a lot of Zoe right now. Exciting and Yeah. So we started well Soul. This is our eighth year facilitating workshops, which is crazy. And we came together probably ten years ago doing some work. I actually had Jackie
du A reading for me. She was referred by a friend, and we both knew kind of pretty quickly that we
would be working together at some point. While I am a therapist and my kind of clinical work is in the treatment of trauma, especially, my background is actually also an energy medicine and the study of consciousness, and so there was a lot of overlap in our kind of approach, and so we came together, you know, just working in a personal way for quite a while, and then I began to refer clients who I had been working with in my practice to Jackie to do a little bit,
do kind of a deeper dive into the energetic component. And we began to find that there was this kind of magic happening with the clients that we were working with together, you know, even though we would see them separately, there was this kind of integration that was occurring in combining our two modalities that we found really impactful and thought, Okay, I think we have something here. Let's try workshops, see
how it goes. See if we can't kind of put a curriculum together that Mary's integrative Psychology, interpersonal neurobiology and energy medicine, and see what emerges from that experience. And you know, of course, as is the case often when you start any programming, it was all kind of like friends and family at those first two workshops, and it gave us a chance to refine our curriculum and really kind of work with people and see what worked and what didn't and now here we are eight years later.
We have a pretty kind of robust curriculum that is our flagship workshop. We've gone on to develop a second curriculum as well that's focused very specifically on the topic of judgment and coming into balance around our relationship to judgment. But yeah, we love it. I mean, I think Jackie and I both have really full private practices, and you know,
we love working one on one with clients. But there's something really really special and magical about getting a group of people together with a shared intention and to grow and to heal and to be vulnerable. And there's just
a magic that happens in the room at Walsall. And you know, Friday night, when people arrived, they're terrified, usually especially if they've never been so, but by Sunday, everybody's like, you know, there's a real kind of camaraderie and energy that's moved through the group.
And so yeah, it's a really special experience.
I went in twenty nineteen and then again last year, and it was the difference between the two times was so interesting because it felt like the first time I was so nervous. I'd never meditated before, I'd never gotten into my own body before, and I've talked about that, I've struggled with anxiety my entire life. And I was so like, I just kept saying, I'm never going to be able to do this.
I'm never going to be able to do this.
And then by Sunday, I felt like I didn't even want to go home, you know, like I mean, I wanted to go home, but I was so I felt so safe and so good and emotional in all the things.
And it was hard.
But and the second time, I felt much more ready to sort of begin the journey, and I felt much I just felt like, oh, I can do this, and this is what it looks like.
Well, you know, it's fun having you at Walthol the first time, but you know, the energy that you bring in the room is always like bubbly and full of humor.
And I think, you know, when we're facing our shadow work, which is what we ask people to do when they come to Walsol, which sounds like it's really daunting, actually we have we have a lot of fun doing it, like looking at ourselves from this neutral place of saying I want to be aware of who I am entirely the wholeness of me so that I can feel comfortable and trust that I'm on this journey to evolve.
So there is no judgment, there's just it is what it is.
Where our anxieties, our fears are, you know, our trauma that we've experienced in our life all can be transformed or transmuted into this tremendous amount of growth, clarity and actually allow us to find that center within ourselves again to where being embodied, we're not cringing all the time or white neffling it through life because we're like, oh, okay, you know, things are supposed to be bumpy, and when
I hit the bump, I have a tool. I know what to do, and I think you know what I love about sharing well Soul weekends with people is that Casey and I get an opera unity to practice along with you, so you know, we're there to share tools that help us navigate.
The stress of life just in general, and or.
Any type of hardship or pain that we experience doesn't have to destroy us. It can actually expand us if we feel equipped within ourselves too through you know. And the neat thing about when Casey and I came together is We're both very spiritual within a divine practice. You know, spirit means energy, divinity is love, and it is that's where the healings found. And so I think we make a real point of that at Walsall, and that creates a safe environment for people to come and open up,
you know, and use humor. The humor is key because you know, you hear us say.
All the time.
You know, if you can what is it? I'd rather be amused than abused, right, So if I can find that amusement even in.
The darkest hour, it will lead me through it. And I think that's really key.
I think.
Well, So Casey and I met actually the first day of baby group with our oldest children.
Oh my god, are.
You sure you want to tell this story?
Casey told the story. I really I can't wait.
During the fires, we evacuated to o Hi and Casey lives in Ohi, and so I went. We saw her and she was telling the story about the first time we met. That was like, that was so it was just like it was so me, just like on any.
Day, but she was so she was like, what is this being?
Who is this?
I'm gonna tell it?
I told her I'd never met her kind before.
I was walking back to the room with Deborah, our friend, Deborah, we have a mutual friend, and I was like, it's so interesting, like it made an impact on her because that was just like that in the life.
Of Zoe Winkler. Oh my god. I mean it was so funny, Like, you know, I show up to baby group and I'm walking down the street with my baby and Zoe gets out of her car. I see her, like, I don't know her. She sees that I have a baby, so she must think we're going to the same baby group.
We've never met, I've never seen her life.
Never met, and she just gets out of the car and she's like looks at me and may have even grabbed me like physically and was like the baby right all the way from Burley Hills to Santa Monica. He didn't take a breath, and like she she just like goes on in this kind of like hilarious, sort of hysterical like explanation of her drive.
And also who was in the car with me? Who was baby shatters in the vaccine.
I'm like, dude, he was like.
No, no, no, no, no.
I was like, what is going on with this? Lady. So anyway, we go to baby group. Needless to say, it was my first and last baby group. I never came back, and it was not because of you, Zoe, but I then we met years later because our kids went to school together and and it's you know, she's amazing. I love you.
I love you.
You're so funny. And and by the way, like I just want to say, you know, kind of you know, just in reference to what you were saying about your two different weal soul experiences, like when you first came to Wealsaul, like I think one of the things that happens when we haven't done and you had been in therapy before, Like it wasn't like your first rodeo in terms of like doing inner work, but it was. It's a different kind of inner work that we do out. Also,
it's not traditional psychotherapy. There's not you know, we don't
follow a traditional method. And I think like the most important thing that we like to kind of like tell people and to help break the ice is like like who you are is okay, and like in all of its messiness and in all of its chaos and all of right, like the biggest, the scariest hurdle that I think all of us have to overcome when we start to do inner work is we have to kind of break agreements with the lie that like something is wrong with us, like that we're fundamentally problematic in some way.
And most of us, until we've done inner work, have a lot of shame, right, and we have a lot
of stories that we're constantly kind of circulating. And I think oftentimes when people come to wel So for the first time, that first workshop is just like about, oh, like I have permission to accept myself for who I am, Like I can work on all of this shit for you know ever, and I will, but like I can't even begin to work on it until I can kind of break through this initial like just judgment, judgment and move into this space of self love where I go like, Okay,
here I am in all of my messiness and like all of my history.
And also how many times judgment comes in without even knowing that it's judgment, like with sometimes you know you, and that is what has helped me so much, and with well souls also, like I was, I've been in therapy since I was seven years old, so I mean I'm forty four.
That's a long time.
And I was.
I was, and it was and it was amazing and it was a privilege and I'm so lucky and I'm so grateful to my parents that they were like, oh, something's going on, but I wouldn't come out from the table after the earthquake. They were like, huh, she should talk to someone. But I, you know it, it didn't really give me the toolbox I needed because it wasn't stuff that we could talk about it and talk about it and talk about it. But it wasn't until I
found you two. And you you know, I means as friends, but also as you know, as fill energy workers, facilitators, whatever, doctors. I mean that I could actually have a toolbox that I could do. And I have a notes app in my phone and I write down the thing so that when I'm feeling like just sort of like I'm about to get out of my body kind of and I'm going to just let all my energy go, I try to just call it back.
And there are these things.
And it's funny because I was actually able to tell my dad because one of the things that you guys teach us is that if you're just feeling completely like fragmented. Just say your name three times, and it doesn't have to be out loud. It could be quiet, it could be in your head, but kind of calling your energy back. And I know that I have a lot of listeners that are not in LA and that are not that this might I said, you know, this might sound confusing or silly, but it's.
So just try it.
And so when my dad he has anxiety too, and so I said to him, like, just say your name three times. Say your name three times, And he said that now he does that sometimes, like when he gets like really you know. So I thought that that was such an amazing thing and that was just one of the thousands of tools that you guys have kind of given me and given so many people that get the opportunity to do this.
I really love that because that is the that tool of saying your name is.
It's it's kind of magical, but it's obvious.
At the same time, think about when somebody calls, you know, for people that are listening and maybe thinking we're a little.
Cuckoo, and I do.
If you're in public, you know, to say it to yourself because you make it a few looks, but you know, I.
Don't care anymore.
I'm so like you know, I've been doing this, saying my name three times for fifteen years now to call my energy back. And even though I practice this every single day when I feel fragmented, you're basically saying, come back to me. You're getting your own attention, right, And so you think about when somebody else says your name, your attention goes there, where your intention goes you know,
as we all know, your energy flows that direction. So when you're calling your yourself back, your energy is going to come back to you your It's a moment in which you can attune and center and remember, okay, I'm right here right now. It's the first step toward being present, and you know in present there's a wholeness that happens. Again, we want our energy to be with us so that we can direct it and be intentional with what we're going to focus on. And and you know you mentioned anxiety.
Anxiety is this It really does take our energy. And you could picture your energy kind of pulling apart because it's going way out in the future, usually right in the future into the what ifs, or in the past into the well what was wrong? And Why did that happen?
Why did that happen to me? Why? Why? Why?
And you can just all your energy now is in all these places trying to find this answer and it's not right there with you. And the process of you know, discernment is to say, Okay, what's true right here.
Right now? What is it that you know? Where am I? Am I in fear or am I in you know? Am I in the what ifs?
Because if I'm in the what ifs, then I need to come back and into the what is right here, right now true in order to find my center and in that moment then clarity can happen.
So that tool of.
Saying your name three times is the is the first step to finding that your your The word I want to use, I guess is to calibrate your compass, your innercom this back to you.
There's been times when I'm like crashing out on social media and I'll be like, yeah, because I have a private account that is just for my family and friends, and it's not you know, it's like just me losing my mind all the time, and Casey will be like reach out and just be like, I see that you're going through this moment.
Or I'll send you a meme that's just like girl, check yourself.
You reel it in because it's like, you know, it's like you don't just give away your energy. You know, you don't just lose your energy or or sort of like I guess misplace it when it's just when you're like it can also be just in so many different ways that aren't even tangible.
Yeah.
Yeah, And I will also say, like we offer a lot of tools like that that are that are subtle, kind of more energetic tools. But the other thing about anxiety, and I think you know, Zoe you can relate to this is people with anxiety oftentimes have really unruly minds.
Right.
It's like your unruly mind coupled with some insecurity or vulnerability, right. And so one of the things that you've described in the past, if I can share it here, is yeah, of course, is you know that like you'll be in an environment and experience something, right, a look, a tone of voice, you know, whatever it might be from someone in that space, and immediately it will kind of like grab you at your most vulnerable and insecure space inside
your body. And once that kind of embodied reaction is triggered, you then go into a pretty complex story around it, right, and you are not alone in doing that. That is part of like the whole kind of system of anxiety that we all experience. So, but then what happens is the story or that we tell ourselves obviously is the
one that causes the most suffering. And so a big part of what you know we're working with people around you, know, is it's not just about calling all of your fragmented energy back and getting yourself into present time, which is incredibly important. You really can't heal from from outside of the present moment. But it's also about beginning to evaluate and look at where have you created a story or gone into agreement with a story that's creating suffering for you.
And one of the biggest things that I think we try to teach people at welshol is how to break agreements.
Right.
It's like we are in this kind of perpetual state of creating these unconscious contracts with stories, right that are pretty much manufactured out of thin air. Right, there may be some truth to them, and sometimes there is It's true that person gave me a weird look, or it's true that that person might be having a bad day and used a tone of voye with me that felt
like aggressive or whatever it is. But the kind of story that gets, you know, created out of that experience is the one that we're trying to interrupt and to not only in like, it's not just about breaking agreements with the story that's not serving us, but it's also about what are my choices right, What is the most generous interpretation of this moment that I can lean into, right?
And and we want to start to practice that, We have to practice moving into a more generous interpretation so that we can create that not only that inner safety, but harmony in our relationships and you know, not only with ourselves but with others. So the story is a big part of the anxiety, okay.
Mary, And it's so and sometimes the story feels so real that it's hard to know the difference between you know, like you're like wait. Sometimes I even will be like wait, did that really happen? It's not just you know, the story that I'm telling myself right now in the world feels so heavy with the fires and you know, in La but just everywhere the world.
Just feels to me.
Like there's just so much chaos going on how do you stay centered? How do you stay how do you protect yourself from that? Because I haven't figured that out yet.
Oh, we don't stay centered?
Is that?
Is that something you were misled to believe?
I think I was. I was under the illusion.
Okay, So you projected a story onto us that we are centered. Oh that's right, Okay, Great, the lie, the big lie is working, Jackie.
We've fooled everyone. I mean, I'll say this.
I you know, grief is really heavy right now in the atmosphere.
It's and you know, I tune into it every day.
A lot of our friends, a lot of our community has been affected in Los Angeles, and and even if it wasn't, how can you not feel the magnitude of of what's occurred. And so it's been hard to sit in it and go, whoa wait a minute, you know. And you know, last night I was sitting and thinking about this is what I do. I was sitting and thinking about when all of the people and I watched the Fiery concert that was so you know, wonderful, and and I thought about all the wild animals and I
just started to cry in it. And and that's where the tool comes in. It's like, Okay, I'm going to feel it. We have to feel.
We can't.
We can't bypass the moment of pain. The moment of pain is a worthy moment to give attention to and just say, in this pain, where is the light? Where can I find the wisdom from this this grief that I'm feeling so so deeply.
And you know I went through.
I live in Napa and in twenty seventeen my whole neighborhood burned and our house was thankfully.
Did not.
Our property burned, but our home was fine, and so you know, I had a sense of the devastating feeling.
But I don't even need to have that sense.
We all think, you know, stop for a second, and when we think about, how does this apply to me? If that was me, that's empathy, which is really really important. But then we want to we can go into sympathy and say I'm so sorry, but we want to stop ourselves before we judge it as being a terrible thing. We want to stop ourselves and say, where's the light here? And how can I help bring the light. And that's
what helps me always come back to my center. When I asked that question, just that question alone, Like, how can we find light here? This is terrible, but I know there's a way through, And I think that's for me, what is my coping mechanism? When I fall out of my center and need to get back, It's like that's the life raft. And then once you're on the life raft, you can begin to see the way is it?
Also like sometimes I think we've talked about this, like nothing is done to you, it's not happening to you.
Yeah, yeah, there's something important.
Not having to do with this, not having to do with this disaster, but just in general, like as a human being, not this is very different.
Well yeah, I mean not really. Crisis is crisis, disasters, disaster, people experience it every day all over the world. So we don't get to conveniently choose like a mindset around something only when it feels like comfortable and safe to have that mindset. I think where we try to help people move is, you know, don't we don't say everything happens for a reason, because it doesn't. We live in
a chaotic universe. That's just how energy works. We try to keep people out of victim consciousness, right, there are real victims in the human experience that goth that are people that are victimized and go through terrible injustices and
terrible things. But the kind of like ongoing relationship to the experience is what we're looking at, right, Because when you experience a trauma like the fires, like when you're in an acute state of distress and in an acute state of trauma and in an acute state of grief, you're going to feel all the feelings, and you have permission to feel all the feelings. You have permission to be angry and feel the injustice and be in despair and feel and ask why why me?
Right?
Why right? Those are the kinds of things that happen to us when we're in an acute state of trauma. And so part of our job when we're working with people that are in acute crisis is to first and foremost just be with them in that and let them know they're not alone, right, and that it's okay to have all the feelings that they're feeling. Now. Our job is also to help people move through into you know, the healing process, right. So it's like when you're in
the acute stage, you're not yet healing. You're mostly just experiencing the suffering, and then when there's some readiness established to start to move the energy toward healing, we are going to then work with how do we right rise from the ashes of this moment? How do we look at this experience that's incredibly difficult and hold the duality
of the experience, hold the complexity of this experience. It can both be devastating and horrific and terrible and hard, and it can also be a miracle and an opportunity. And you know, it can reflect back to us how strong we are, and how creative we are, and how capable we are. So we are you know, we really want to hold the container for all of the things. Where we as facilitators and as practitioners see that things start to become problematic is when people stay attached to the victim story.
Right.
When you stay attached to the victim store, you're keeping your energy and attention stuck in the past, so you're reliving that trauma over and over again and unwilling At some level, there's a rigidity that's established that makes it difficult to move into the part where we want to learn from the experience. Right, And so what you just said Zoe is things don't happen to you, they happen for you. Yes, it's really hard to say that to
someone that's in acute state of trauma. They might be like a few, that's just you know, not what I need to hear right now, right. But when we reflect back on an experience, oftentimes we're able to see how much we've grown from it, and we say, oh, like, there were a lot of opportunities for me in that really devastating experience to become this version of myself that's so much more capable and wise and strong. And so
I see every trauma as an opportunity for growth. But it doesn't mean that we bypass the acute distress that people are experiencing in the moment. I don't know if that helps frame kind of.
No, it does.
I want to add to that.
So the saying you know everything happens you see that saying everywhere you know everything happens for you. Right, doesn't happen to you, But sometimes things do happen to you. Like Casey said, someone doesn't intend to harm you. There's intentionality out there in this world to create and to destroy, right, to create a destructive situation, but it as beings that we have the opportunity always to transmute that into happening for us. And so I think, you know the Casey's point,
that's a process. So nothing really can happen to us as long as we know and can find right that place within us the support network as well, in order to emerge from any situation.
And be transformed by it.
And that's a choice, and sometimes it's hard to make that choice on your own when you're when something devastating occurs in our life, and that's where community comes in. That's where leaning on one another to say, you know, I'm you know, I'm devastated right now.
I need a hand.
And I think that's that's what we're witnessing in Los Angeles right now.
I think that's really beautiful.
So we can choose to put our focus on, you know, all of the trauma and tragedy that's happened, and we need to look at it, and then we have to choose to look at all of the help, look at the sense of community, and when we hold on to one another and come together in generosity and love, it will transform anything. And I think as long as we can remember that then nothing does.
Nothing can happen to you. Everything can happen for you.
But it takes that fundamental shift in understanding that what is the thing that's going to transmute it, and that is to be generous with love and to be supportive of one another and meet people where they are.
And it's really hopeful to me to see.
That happening right now in La and in places all over the world.
That's where I'm going to choose to focus.
I'm going to choose to give that meaning and attention because the more we attend to that, the more that will grow.
You guys have both been doing this practice for so long. Do you sometimes forget and like just completely lose your minds or.
Do you just.
I mean, that's why I was saying, do we really give you the illusion that we found our center?
I mean that you do?
Yeah. I mean, like what we're really good at is showing people the way to the center. Holding the center is a whole different story. And so the more you practice the tools right, the more you interrupt the story, the more you run your energy, call your energy back, the more you set intensions and activate your creativity to like really focus on your capacity to choose, right, Like, the more integrated you become over time. So can I hold my center now? Probably more than I could in
the past, absolutely, particularly around it. And there are a lot of things that might have kind of thrown me out of center in the past that are just non issues now they just like wouldn't ever take me out of neutral. But we are evolutionary beings constantly growing, so there is no point at which you achieve some like you know, enlightenment. Enlightenment is yeah, and this kind of embodiment.
We're here to learn and grow. We're human beings. So like the you know, no matter how much work we do, there's always another opportunity for us to go deeper, you know, to widen our lens and zoom out even more, to practice a new set of tools. Tools also atrophy, Like you can use the same tools for a while and then realize, like gosh, like this isn't working for me
right now. I need to like move the energy, shift the energy, come up with a creative new tool to like kind of get myself into present time or whatever it may be. So we do use the tools, we practice them. It helps us stick, you know, bring ourselves back to center when we're throwing off, we can't. You guys should have a cheat sheet making a work book.
Okay, that's I'm sorry, I have no idea.
That's what you guys should do. And because because I know you guys are.
You do workshops in Ohai, Napa and you just started in that Wait where is it?
The new one in New York in Hudson Valley in New York.
And then but if you can't get to those places.
Yeah, how do I mean? We're so a couple of things we're trying to do shorter. First of all, we're doing we do a lot of private workshops too, So if you have a group or you know, we've been doing quite a few of those.
My lifers and I are going to do one.
We're yeah to get the date, yea.
So those can be one day. We're coming to La to do one for some people that were affected by the fires in March. They can be multi day or whatever. So people can reach out to us if for for those opportunities. But we're working on a workbook. But also you know, we work in private practice. There's all sorts of ways to kind of connect with us, but we really need to kind of get our workbook out there and expand our you know reach. So yeah, that is
part of the intention going forward. We've just been so kind of inundated with work for the last eight years that we've been doing the workshop, so we keep trying to expand beyond a certain point, but then we just both get pulled into work.
And you guys are both so like Jackie the other day, we had to re reschedule our session and she was like, my six am just canceled, And I was like, have you lost your mind? I will never meet with you at six am for some time. Sleepings, I get like, but it's just like, you guys are both just I mean, and I'm sure it's because as the world gets, as life gets crazier and busier, you know, more people are but it's.
It's we're definite only service providers.
I mean, yeah, we love it. I have to say, you know, there's when I don't have like a full day, I don't know what to do with myself.
I mean, so I ask for balance every day.
I set my intention that my day has some balance and that you know, I realized that I'm never on this journey by myself. I thank God that you know, I have people like you, Zoe and you know Casey in my life that I love and it brings me great joy. And but you know what we were talking about earlier, and I think what's really important and interesting if somebody wants to come to a well soul, what
we're really helping you build is resilience. And so, you know, I may lose my shit, but I'm not going to lose it for a day.
I'm maybe going to lose it, depends on what it is, but.
Most likely because I was very reactive. I'm Italian and Sicilian to boot, and my mom and I grew up in a long lineage of very reactive people, so you know, everything was, you know, everything was falling apart.
Everything in common.
Yeah.
Yeah, It's like something would spill on the floor and I'd hear my.
Mom go, oh my god, and then yeah, you know, customers, I'm like, what what happened?
She's like, oh, I dropped the milk. I'm like, okay. So, you know, I don't want to live my life like that.
I don't want to live my life where I'm always reacting to.
I want to be in stillness and responding and so.
The act of stillness for me, take a deep breath and then go, Okay, what is this right now in front of me? And I'm going to stay still until I can find that center, and then I'll respond.
And if it takes a minute, or it takes a day or two, it does.
And I think that that that alone has allowed life to get so much more joyful for me because I'm not always reacting.
And and.
You know, and I'm sure, I'm sure it gets a little easier not to react when your kids are grown up and out of the house. Yeah, I'm still working on that.
Yeah, I.
Have three children basically the same age. Though you know, it's oh God in response, Yeah, well kids are supposed to poke you.
There's i mean, the neat thing about being a parent. And I'm kind of on the other side my kids are grown. But I always thought, oh wow, I remember having this experience in eighth grade.
That you are now having, you know, my one of my kids.
And then I thought, and now I'm as torn up about it now for you as I was for me. And that's that process of lighting up so we can face something again. Our children are there doing their jobs when they're triggering us. Because it's our opportunity to face something again and make a new choice. And that's I think that's really key for those parents who are in
the thick of it. When I look back now, you know, I had so many opportunities to make a new choice and to handle things with grace and to show.
That, to model that for my kids.
And even if they don't listen at first, and even if they don't you think they're not listening at all, I will tell you if you consistently stay in what you note and what you value and hold at it. When your kids are the ages of mine, they'll say to me. My kids say to me all the time, you know, Mom, I'm really glad that you you know that you didn't let us have the phone at the dinner table, or I'm really glad, I'm like really used to like have a tantrum every night with the dinner
time at our house. I would dread because it was like always tears, or you know, and or my son will say, you know, I go out to dinner with people and they have terrible man I'm so glad you taught me manners. I used to say to my husband, can we like take the night off from manners because I just like a peaceful dinner. You know, it's like put your napkin on your lap.
But when he I'd be like no. And so you've got to hang in there with what you value. And it doesn't matter if their head spins and they grow, you know, more arms and snakes are coming out of their head. You just got to stay in And it doesn't mean you're a bad parent, you know, because your kids are freaking out all the time, and it's like you know, energy.
Flying, it actually means you're doing your job. And and so I think I laugh when because you know, I'm not in that stage. I get to go to Casey's house with their kids and they are many. They are wilful, and I love it. And if your children are wilful, that's awesome because I try to.
Remind myself of that, Yeah, I want them to be you know, you want them to Yeah, you want them to be strong.
You know.
I say that to my mom all the time, And I think that sometimes Gus and I I think that there's parts of all three of my kids that i'm that are so similar to me, Like Ace and I share like really strong bond. Jules and I share really strong bond. Gus nice share really strong bond. There's parts of Ace that I remember feeling the exact same way he is. And then there I look at Gus and
he is me in so many ways. And for us that's like this, you know, we just are like all right, let's go, you know, and then Rob comes in and it's like much calmer. But it's like Rob and I mean Gus and I will just we will brawl.
I love it. I love one of those. Yeah, it's funny. It's funny how certain children you can you really do feel like, oh you see yourself in them, but somehow there's not the rub, right, and then you like, like Ace in you for example, Right, it's like it's more just like I understand you at such a deep level. Let me help you with this because you know, right,
like I have tools for this problem to solve. And then other kids, you know, I have I have one that I just I mean, I'm obsessed with all of them. I love them. Yeah, but we really go at it, you know, and it's like it brings out this part
of myself that I'm like, where who is this? Like she doesn't show up in any other paradigm, right, like this is and that's a younger part of myself that feels out of control or what have you, and it becomes this kind of like power struggle, and you know, it's it's like, like I said, there's no point at
which you've achieved enlightenment. It's like, this is the period of your life, of our lives where a huge part of our development comes through our navigating being parents and are navigating being in relationship towards children and trying to raise good citizens of the world. That is a big responsibility and it brings up all sorts of stuff for us.
So I think even that even if you have totally peaceful, healthy relationship with your kids at home, like whoever's listening, this period in life when you have young kids in the house, that's that's part of the healing journey. That's part of the transformation, and that's part of the evolution. And then you know, your kids move out and you're in a different stage of evolution and you're working through a different set of challenges, right, but it never ends.
It is ongoing. And so the key is to have the tools to be able to meet each of these moments and you know, to build our capacity is really what it is, and you said earlier, which is really important. Like Jackie and I started this in twenty eighteen. We probably started working together in twenty fifteen or twenty sixteen.
Like it has been an absolute shit show on a collective level since we met, right, And like there have been many times where we have felt like I'm exhausted and feeling kind of defeated by the darkness, and like I would I like, I'm tired, I just want to
go to sleep. There have been times, right, because it's not just that we're in the world with you doing all of this, going through all of this collective kind of growth that we're going through as a species, but we're also in session all day working with individuals who are also going through their own individual traumas coupled with these collective traumas. So there's times where we both are like, I think I need a break, Yeah really know doubt yeah, yeah a little bit. But for the most part, we
don't get burnt out. You know. The only time we get burnout is when we aren't managing our time properly. I get way more burnout on parenting because it requires so much of me to work on my own development than I do working with clients, because I feel so
inspired by the work of transformation. I love to be the person that's outside the quicksand trying to pull somebody out of the quicksand right because and I love to be able to see ahead, to know this person is in a really dark moment right now, but I already can see them on the other side of it. And so because I get to hold that for them, that feels like a beautiful thing. So even in the midst of all the darkness, and then when you start to
like one of the kind of balms. For me over this last few years has been like doing a deeper dive into history, not to become kind of like steeped in the past, but to recognize and remember that, like, oh, human beings have been going through all sorts of really difficult things for a really long time. This is not isolated to the last you know, decade. It's just that
we're in it right now. And so like well, soul and the work that we both do as individuals and our practices is it's really just about preparedness, it's about resilience, it's about building our capacity for navigating all of it. And because we're all capable of navigating it.
I mean, I'm so thankful for it because it's changed
my life. And something I you know, Rob and I, my husband, Rob and I we definitely argue and we you know, but we're both committed to constantly working on ourselves as people, not necessarily even together all the time, but separately like doing the work and coming together and then and I think that that's what I've like started to look for in friendships and in all my relationships is like, you know, and it's not to say like, oh, you're not going to like dig deep, then I don't
want to be friends with you, not at all.
And something Casey taught me was like.
No, your energies just don't your energies don't connect. Instead of being like, oh I don't like that person or oh I don't you know, it's just like the energy doesn't matgine alignment, it's out of alignment. And I've I've really I'm so grateful that I have this partner in my life where our energies align that way, you know, you're evolving together, Yeah, which is such a gift.
I think.
I think it's really important that we find out where we're aligned first, and then we focus on where we're aligned and then continue to grow from there. I think those sorts of friendships and relationships can stand the test of time, and to me, time is evolution. Like the biggest insult you could give me would be to say, you know, you haven't changed a bit, because I think, wow, that's scary. Unless you're talking about my skin.
You know, my beauty or whatever. Then then I don't want to hear that because I'm here to grow. I'm here, I mean, I know, I think you know. It's important that.
We find meaning in all experiences and all relationships, and we get to decide what that meaning is.
We get to tell the story.
And we don't want to tell stories that are delusional, right, or full of illusion. We want to tell stories that are full of love. And so we want to tell stories that are full of kindness and grace.
And so we can.
Find those threads in our relationships, and we can find those that frequency of energy, right, the kindness, the grace in an experience, then we can start to make the meaning.
From there, our world begins to shift, just simply. That's the magic of it, and so I prefer and I think especially in the world that we're existing and now everything's growing, everything's changing, and for change to happen, there has to be an eruption, there has to be an excavation, and there has to be a realization, it has to be revealed of where we haven't been conscious and in that moment, there's our opportunity now to decide how we're going to handle it. Where from which place am I
going to show up? And if we choose those frequencies of grace and kindness and compassion, then that's going to write the story. But if we choose to see, you know, the negativity and the fear and you know, go into victim consciousness, then that's going to write the story. And we're the co creator of our reality no matter where we are, and you know.
We talk about agency over it.
Exactly, and that's I think what's so great about the practice that we share in our wealthol community is that we're all working on that making meaning in frequencies of love and finding the magic within us, which is that that tool in itself to create meaning and frequencies of love, and then we find and create the miracle from there.
And so even though like I work thirteen fourteen hour days, sometimes in the thick of it, I get to witness so much magic, and I get to witness people, you know, finding the light and the darkness within themselves because it all comes back to you. It's all within you. It's just a matter of finding how to how to locate it within yourself. And so maybe we're like a navigational system casey where like the GPS or the soul or something.
And Grace great great, and Zoe you you're onto something too, which is you know, you're like you've just identified that, like you want to be in relationships with other people that are also working on themselves.
And so.
Because your intention is to have relationships where there's alignment and shared values and all of that, and you've you've brought a lot of friends to WEILSOL over the years.
So like you.
You're you're and you're you're having a You're going to have a private group, I think too soon. So like, yeah, you're you're doing exactly what I think is necessary as we start to like really wake up to who we truly are, which is invite people along. Right, it doesn't just mean sometimes it means goodbye to certain friends and people in our lives. That where there is into alignment, but it's also like, hey, like I'm doing this really vulnerable,
interesting thing that's like helped me, Come join me. See if it helps you too. And when we do that,
we actually start to cultivate a shared language. And I think that's a huge part of what happens at Walsall as people bring their friends, and then they bring their family, and then they bring their partner, and all of a sudden, they have a whole new language inside their family, and they have tools that they're all practicing, and the evolutionary process is so much smoother when you have other people along for the ride with you, as opposed to you being the only person in your system.
Yeah, it's do it.
It feels so it feels so safe, you know, it feels safe, it feels cozy, it feels like.
And it's it's for the better of all.
It's not just you know, it's not just like hey, I'm doing this and I you know, and I want you to do that.
It's it's.
When I bring my friends, I'm like, this will change your life, Like this is you know, like this is this will this will give you a toolbox, which is all you really need, and then you do it.
It's up to you. It's your practice, you know exactly.
It's your practice. It's important, yeah, all self healers.
Yeah, and it's what's.
Comfortable for you, and you take what you want. And I love that like it. Obviously I talk a lot at Weilsel, but you don't have to. It's not like you need to sit in a circle and share. It's like it's it's about it's your experience, it's you know.
So I don't know.
I love you both so much and I feel so grateful for the gift that I found in you guys.
So I'm so thank god.
We met that day and I scared.
I met this new species that I had never met before.
You're You're welcome.
You know what.
Thank you I feel. I truly I feel really grateful and you you are one of a kind. There is no question about that. This is true, one of a kind of news. That's why I had never met and it was like you, Oh my gosh, thank you.
Thank you guys for doing this.
I really I'm so grateful and I want, you know, to share this amazing not it's not. It's just like, I don't know it's practice. I don't I don't even know what the word is. I guess practice. I wanted to share this practice because it's so.
Doable.
And when I did an episode about the fires right after or while it was still going on, I shared a prayer that Jackie had given me during that time, and I just kept saying it over and over and I it helped so much.
And yeah, that's it.
I'm so grateful, and I hope you guys have a great day. I know you have back to back clients.
Thank you for being such a supportive friend. Oh my gosh.
Please it's easy and member of.
The community that we all share. I think that's just.
Been very easy today when it works. So thank you.
We love you.
I love you, guys.
Bye bye.
Thank you so much for joining us for another episode of One in the Winkler. Please tell a friend, please follow, Please subscribe. I'm desperate, I'm begging, and I can't wait to see you guys next week.
Thanks