Hey, the folks. In this episode a couple that has been married ten years but claims they have never ever fought, not once. Also, have you heard of this new concept a partners as people who voluntarily live apart from their significant other? And how much of an age gap is too great of an age gap when it comes to dating. Those are just a few of the relationship related headlines that had us and everybody else talking the past week.
Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Rowl. Let's start with that, ca can you is there a blanket just there is an age gap that you just shouldn't be dating. Is there a general rule or should we all just it should go out the window and you just do your thing.
You know, I at this stage in my life am not here to tell anybody else what they should or shouldn't do. I think, you know, what, if your soul falls in love with another person's soul, good for you. But I do think that it's significantly more challenging to have somebody who has a big age gap. But I think, look, you have met people who are older who who read younger. They just have different energy, And then you have younger folks who have older energy. So I do think sometimes
you can. The age is just a number, and it's more about how you live your life, how you operate, and the activity level you're willing to.
So forty nine year age gap can work.
I wouldn't want to tell somebody it couldn't, but it wouldn't be for me.
Okay, say what you say? Where we're going here? Bill Belichick Hall of Fame coach, Championship winning coach for the Super Bowl winning coach New England Patriots. He's now the head coach at North Carolina, but he's been in the headlines a lot because, yes, he is dating a woman that is forty nine years his junior.
Yes, Bill Belichick is seventy three years old. His girlfriend, Jordan Hudson, is twenty four years old. So that is a forty nine your age gap.
Should we start with? So what do you think if you're happy, knock yourself out, if you're not hurting anybody else and not hurting your self, who is anybody to say what's going on?
I would be on that side of things. Yes, However, I think that everybody has to make that decision for themselves. I just think it's so easy to stand in judgment of other people. Yes, when if they're happy, why do you care? Like really white And maybe if you're Bill Belichick's kids, you might care. You've got a personal reasons and you're invested in something other than what he's choosing, and you've got to reason like fine than have your opinion.
But the rest of us, I just think we should shut up.
Okay, But some were saying, excuse me, I shouldn't say no, I'm not saying. Some were saying, it's been talking about a lot here late, that he's been on some red carpets with her, and he's been out and been out there. He's not necessarily hiding and being shy about it. But he did an interview recently with CBS News and the interview was on tape. I didn't realize it wasn't live, so it was on tape. It was recorded. Apparently his
girlfriend was sitting off to the side. This was a one on one between Bill Belichick and the interviewer at CBS, and he was asked a question about his relationship and right.
So the question was they were asking how the two met, because there are unsubstantiated reports that they met on a plane back in twenty twenty one. Who knows whatever, But the question was asked, how did you meet? And Jordan jumped in. She didn't have a microphone, but from off to the side she said, we are not talking about this, and the interview said no, and she went no and
shut it down. Now you and I have both had I could point to a very big interview where I actually had something very similar happen where the wife got upset at the question I was asking her husband and these were famous folks. She jumped up, yelled at me
and walked out of the room. We made the decision not to put that in the piece because it wasn't a part of the interview, and CBS News this actually CBS Sunday Morning made the choice to leave it in, which then created a lot of reaction from folks to.
What do you do there? I will take that first. I didn't know what else they had on tape. I don't know it for all. It kind have been a boring interview and they're like, well, this will spice it up a little bit. Who knows what the decision making was. Is it a part of this? So he was there to talk about a book something else.
He's got a new book, The Art of Winning, and that's why he was sitting down with CBS Sunday Morning to talk about that and the lessons he learned from his father.
But what do you do there as a journalist? It had nothing to do necessarily with the interview, but it became a part of the interview. I have a question for this my interview, E I have a question, and the answer to that question came from somebody who wasn't being interviewed. Now, Bill Belichick would have said, you know what, I'm gonna skip that disrespectfully, I might have left that response out. He would just say, you know what, I
want to skip pass on that and moved on. But to have that type of interruption, now she becomes the story. Why wasn't that talked about ahead of time? What questions are we going to ask? Is it a rule violated? Who knows? I don't know that backstory, But it's hard when she became a part of the interview voluntarily.
Yeah, I think that's a decision made on a case by case basis and in the spirit of the interview. And if they felt like, for whatever reason, that was an important part of the interview, and they wanted to include it. Certainly. Of course they knew that that was going to make that we're only talking about that interview because of their decision to leave that part of what happened off camera. It was on camera, but off to
the side of the camera. They chose to leave it in and that is why we're talking about it.
Could have been uh, I mean, I could have been a part of the strategy. People are going to be talking about it. People don't to be buzzing this so go viral maybe, But yeah, it was a taped piece. They had every opportunity do not include that at all, and they chose to do so. But he's not the only one. Look we look at and talk U seventy three and twenty four. Yes, yes she was. They've known each other for several years now. I think they've been dating for a couple of years, so she was younger.
This idea, now that it's come up in a much more is much different. Let's make sure we're clear much different. But also this underlying story of men, older men dating women that are so much younger, and I'm talking about the Shannon Sharp story. Now there's a fifty million dollar lawsuit about sexual assault that's involved. However, there's been criticism
plenty from a lot of big names. Charlemagne and then this clip from the comedian Monique came up in which she was telling Shannon, being comedic, but stop messing around with these young girls.
Okay, yeah, get you an older woman who will make you some food and take care of you and rub your feet when you come home. That's what she said to him. It was quite funny, she warned him. She said, stop pulling around with all these young girls. It's gonna come back and bite you.
Now. In Shannon's situation, he was fifty four and she was nineteen when they first met. That again, that's what I'm I guess, hard to do the math S's that thirty five thirty six year didn't have the math?
Right? Look, yes that's thirty five. I think here's yes at that point. But you know, here's the deal. Once once you're over the age of eighteen, it is perfectly legal. And you know, I have a nineteen year old daughter, I have a twenty two year old daughter. What I want them dating men that old? No, I would not because I would just be concerned there was the possibility from manipulation and just when you're that young, you don't
know what you don't know. That's what I always am telling my daughters, And so you just have to wonder, you know, there is concern there. As a mom, I'm concerned when I see this just for those young women, not that they're not fully legal and capable of making their own decisions, but are they actually emotionally and intellectually and experiment like, do they have the experience to make
those decisions. That's where you would hope their parents would step in, And I really think that's a role for their family to maybe just make sure they're there and watching and witnessing and trying to guide their loved ones. But at the end of the day, technically.
There's nothing wrong with There's nothing wrong with what anybody's doing. And I'm sure stepping out they know they're going to be ridiculed, they're going to be talked about, they're going to be buzzed about, they're going to be trending at times. On some days, it's just those are two back to back stories where I look, I've been around, and we've been around plenty. We know people who are dating folks
who are have big age gaps. I mean ten years, twenty years, fine, when you talk about fifty and thirty five and that's you don't see that a lot.
I also think that it's important that when that when those age gaps happen later in life, it really doesn't feel like a big deal. It's only when the women are so young, like you're talking about early twenties, teens, early twenties, that's tough. You know, as a woman, I can go back and look, I got married, I got engaged and then married at twenty three, but it was to someone at my same age. I still didn't have any business getting married at that age. I didn't know
who I was. I didn't know what the world was really all about. And I think, you know, especially young women might think that they know, but I'm concer when it's that age. If you've got some woman in her thirties dating someone in her in his fifties or sixties, that's fine, she's lived enough.
Like that's what it is. Yeah, Okay, that's what it is. That's what it is. Okay. That's the key to all of this, because if I was talking about a forty year old woman dating a seventy year old man, Okay, Wow, they make it work. But you're not looking at her as being in some way manipulated.
And I think that's the concern. Is there any sort of manipulation or just a not even an intentional one. But it just seems like that would have to be the case because there's just such a big learning gap of life.
Let's make sure we are not suggesting Belichick or Charlotte, we're just making sure we just say that once again, yes, that's not the suggestion at all. But part of the age gap goes into the next story that was making headlines, having to do it with people marry couples in some instances not living together, voluntarily living sometime in the same town and not far, not cross country all the time,
but choosing to live in two different homes. And some of them say they do it because to your point, there's such an age gap sometimes that you live differently.
Exactly like some people like to go out and party at night and some people like to sleep in and it just makes sense for them. There's actually a term now that they've coined. Correct. It's called a part a partners.
Eight partners, so partners with an A in front of it. So essentially apart. Nurse.
Yeah, they are apart, but they are partners, so uh, partners, yes. And look, we've had several people come out and talk about this. Sarah Paulson, who is fifty, I believe in her partner, Holland Taylor is eighty two, and she said, you know, she was just talking about this, saying, look, when we're together, we're we like to sleep next to each other, we like to fall asleep holding each other's hands.
But Sarah said, I've had a couple serious relationships. Holland never has, and so for me to constantly be in her space, it would probably tear us apart. So we need two separate homes because she's used to living a certain way. She's set in her ways to an extent. She's eighty two years old, and she doesn't need me coming in messing everything up. So that works for us.
Surelee Ralph, we love her, of course, but she lives cross country from her husband. That it works. I think he's in Philly. She's in La Yeah, cross and she's smile. We've talked to her about it personally. She beams a big old smile talking about it. Yes, it's been they've been doing it for years. It works.
They get they love their alone time. And I think if you have two people who say, hey, I need I don't just love, I need my alone time and it works for them, you know what, it's interesting and some people question whether or not it's real, if they're actually monogamous or serious, but by all accounts, it works and it's successful. Another one Gwinneth Healthrow and her husband Brad Falschuk. They actually live in the same city, but
they have two different houses. And I think When's kids are the same age as mine, so it's not like she's got young kids. I would understand that maybe if you don't want to necessarily have a new man in their lives. But now her kids are grown, and she just said, this works for.
Us, And that's the bottom line. If it works where you, it works for you. There are some people, and I mean a lot of people can relate to being with someone or being in a relationship that is not great for your sleeping habits because that other person comes to bed late, likes it hot, likes it cold, wants the TV on has different We have this issue I shouldn't say issue. Yeah, it's an issue that I have I'm
set in my ways when it comes to sleep. I struggle even sleeping when I don't have the TV on a certain amount of noise that is not your jam.
Yeah, you sleep with a TV on. Yes, you like to lay not vertically on the bed like most people, but completely across it like horizontally.
It has to do with the TV, yep, because.
You're wanting to watch the TV. You like it warm.
You you like the heat on he being.
You don't like a cold room. So I always laugh, you know, because you have some sleep issues, and we all do, but you I've talked about them for over the years. But any sleep expert will tell you should have your room dark, cold and quiet. You like your sleeping environment loud, and I'm talking like gunfire, like loud, bright, because the TV is bright and warm.
Okay, that was our compromise. I don't put on action movies anymore.
And you turn down the brightness on the television.
You're welcome to help me.
You are welcome, and I yes, And I've compromised on the heat.
So in that situation, will we be better off sleeping separately? Sleeping in separate places.
I don't like.
But some people say yes, it's better for your health than even your mental health sometimes to be a part. I love being with this person, I love spending time with this person, but being in bed together night doesn't work.
I'm not there yet. But look, Cameron Diaz just talked about this with her husband. They have separate bedrooms, and people, you know, people are like what she's like. It works for us. I mean a lot of times people have snoring issues. Separate bedrooms, they have separate bedroom, they live in the same house.
You can't just go to the couch like the rest of us.
Kind of feels like, didn't they do that in the olden days? Were like retire to your own bedroom and the husbands would say, can I come visit you? But yeah, everyone had You know, I know a lot of people who really believe in separate bathrooms. And if you're lucky enough to have a enough for that, I'll support that. I feel like that's a good thing too.
Yes, I need want to cut my hair in.
Yes I know, Okay, I'm very aware of that. I was actually going to suggest that.
Okay, the other excuse me, the other story I had everybody talking was one that really if you've been in a relationship longer than what six months or a year. You'll find this very difficult to believe. A couple that's been married more than a decade now says not once in their relationship have they fought? Not one time? Not once? Do you buy that? How is that possible?
I don't know how it's possible. Okay, you know I've lived, I've had several relationships and never once has that ever been true. And I would say, ah, I mean, if you most I mean I've also had a lot of therapy, most therapists would say that it's that isn't possible. That you're just pushing it down and then you're growing apart
because you just refused. You if you're not willing to talk about someone always has to do something that annoys you or upsets you or isn't what you would have preferred or you disagree with, especially when you're raising children. And so to think that there's never been a conflict, there's never been. And I don't know if they're saying, well,
fighting is one thing and disagreeing is another. But it just it's hard for me to imagine that you can't get annoyed or pissed or angry at somebody who you love.
Okay, and the couple we're talking about is not just any old random couple talking about George and Maul Clooney. They have talked about this now for years, but he was talking about it recently and an interview, you know, it was CBS News. Again. They just keep doing stuff over there. He said that they have never once, not about the trash, not about anything minor, certainly nothing major.
Never once. She said, they've gotten to a point that there's a family member of her I think a cousin that every time she runs into it's the first thing out of his mouth. You guys thought yet, like it's a thing that everybody know. I just don't know how it's possible. And you talk about therapy, don't the therapist tell you, isn't a sign something's wrong if you're not fighting?
Yes, So I did have a relationship where we almost never didn't, especially like the last several years. And you know what it was. It was apathy, I mean, And that's how it was described to me, that you're literally numb. You don't care what the other person thinks, so you can't even be bothered to fight about it. That to me is what no fighting means, especially if you've been together for a certain period of time, you just lose interest in giving a shit, like you just don't care what they think.
We're not suggesting that's what George all are, but that is give a lot of disclaimers.
And I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I was just thinking, you know, that's not I'm not assigning that to anyone, but that's just what I have experience, and that's what a therapist told me, Like, it's not healthy not to fight.
It's not help. But if it short of apathy, isn't there like two people, why are you not? Again, you've been the more therapist than I have. I'm just what else do they suggest? I thought you've talked about this before, that it's just not a good son. Why are you not? I guess maybe it is all apathy. But can you be happy and not fight? Why? I don't know how a disagreement doesn't come up ever?
I mean, other than like living a life of a monk, I can't imagine. I mean, yes, I would always prefer to choose peace, and I try to remind myself of that. It's better to be okay, it's better to be kind than to be right, Like I try to have that going on in a loop in my head, and also just recognizing your own ego. I don't know how much work they've done on themselves, but it's it's remarkable to
the point that it feels unbelievable. But I'm so happy for them if that actually is the case, and I would love for them to talk more about it and what they if they have to have, like a mental discipline where they've learned to breathe through when someone says
something instead of immediately reacting. I count to tent like whatever it is, because to tell me that emotionally inside they haven't felt a reaction of anger or disagreement or frustration or annoyance, that to me is humanly impossible.
So it's just how they handle it, then yes, So if.
They have been able to not show that in a way that created a reaction from the other part, because that's obviously, then that's amazing And I would love to hear more about it, And I think that the world would love to hear how they do it, because honestly, I think all of it, don't we all wouldn't we all love to be able to have an immediate filter, process it and then not say something unkind or say something that you're gonna want to take back like that would be amazing, And I.
Don't want to folks will. I mean, these are folks who seem to be, at least from my vantage point, living pretty good lives. And I say living pretty good lives. They have luxuries and experiences that most people just don't get. So I don't want to us just to go through this, and because a lot of people will roll their eyes. Okay, perfect couple in pictures. Now you're telling me they're perfect at home?
Right they live where?
Well? The someone wrote that, say, hey, I get they called BS on the whole thing, and I wish I could give this person credit the whole article calling BS on this and then at the end saying, well, I guess if I lived at a house on Lake Como, I wouldn't have anything to fight about either, So that you have to at least acknowledge you just some people will roll their eyes a little bit, But you're right. I would absolutely love to hear more about it and
how they do it. We should try it. How long can we go without a fight?
Well, you know what, I was counting. I didn't even tell you this, but we did go and this is a probably the longest stretch. We went four months without fighting.
Four months. No it's not, yes, yes it was.
It was from Christmas Eve all the way until about two weeks ago. We really know, we know. We did not believe me. I remember, it's gutting when we do. We went four months. We went four months, and.
I was an Osha calendar in twenty days without an accident.
I don't remember a lot of things, but you know, literally, I do have an Oha calendar in my head. And it's funny because when we got into the last fight, you know, it was it was devastating to me because I was so excited. We were like, I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to jinx it, so I was keeping it to myself. But now at this moment, I'm letting you know we went four months.
I didn't. I wasn't counting. Apparently that's just that's what we should do. So uh, yeah, George and Maul, don't listen to us. We clearly haven't figured this shit out. But folks, yes, we've been wanted to talk, but we didn't expect to extra record this. And we we've been talking and buzzing about some of these stories and saying, hey, we should do a pocket, we should do a podka, But then finally one more came along and there you have it. So hope you guys not out of this.
Please listen to your tall Have.
A great day, everybody. M hm