Love Stories: Tamra And Eddie Judge

Hey, there're folks. In this episode, we continue our series love Stories today our second couple, Camera and Eddie Judge, the real housewife and her husband of eleven years, our hero to help us, help you. Welcome to the special Cuffing season edition of Amy and TJ and Robes. These are two folks who married eleven years and some didn't think it was going to make it to twelve. They were having to deal with rumors very recently if something was going on in their marriage.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Tamar actually felt the need to say something, to make a statement because there were so many rumors swirling about their impending divorce, which is sport for some people, and that's it's sad when you're on the receiving end of it. So I'm glad she set the record straight. But based on our conversation, it's quite the opposite from what the tabloids are trying to sell.

You and I'd like and then we could we you and I could take lessons from Tamra Judge to where there was something out there floating around. She shut it down, and it was funny how she shut it down. She just said, get a life. Is there res fine, it was that simple, but you could shut it down with just those words. So we should listen to her Real Housewives of Orange.

Count Tony and we've gotten to know her and Eddie over the past year or so with the iHeart Family and hearing that she said get a life. That is just so on brand for her and anyone who watches obviously Real Housewives knows her. She says exactly what she thinks and makes no apologies for it. But it's really cool to see her with her husband Eddie of eleven years,

And this is a one hundred percent true story about these two Tamernetti which who have a huge following. Obviously that you were even found out about hanging out with the friend of ours yesterday that just mentioning Tamara Judge's name, and she just about lost the mind.

Yes, huge fan, huge fan.

But when we did, we did. It was our first real iHeart event. After we had joined the team and announced our podcast. We went out to California. There was this big dinner for all the iHeart podcast hosts and folks that night we met Tamarnetti. That night, we spent more time talking to Tamarorannetti in a corner just us hanging out than anybody else. We loved them.

It was it was great to feel like another couple understood what it was like to have their lives splashed out in the headlines and in in not real ways where you constantly we're dealing with rumors or battling bad headlines. And so that was an immediate connection we all had together. And the fact that Tamra this is her second marriage, so you know, there is camaraderie among folks who have have had certain events in their lives bring them together.

Okay, I did not make my living but have our relationship out there as fodder the record.

By product.

Sod it.

I wouldn't choose it. I wouldn't choose that.

No, But guess what we've been doing here. They are a couple number two for us. A couple number one was Tristan Ryan Sutter. But we are asking all these couples the exact same questions. We have a long list that we go through and just get their honest answers and responses, and a lot of that information has been helpful to us already, and we know a lot of you all will find it helpful and you'll be able

Jet.

Thanks for having us. This is so exciting. It's been like a year since we've we met by each other last down in Malibu. Oh, so much has gone on down there unfortunately.

Oh I know. Wow, y'all have been through it. But I know you've also made it through so many, so many occasions in your eleven years together now married. So I'm going to start our first question is I'm going to ask each of you this, describe your relationship in three works. Eddie, I'll start with you.

New, fun and refreshing.

Easy, non controlling, well and always fun.

Well, they have that word to come all right up next, was there immediate chemistry when you first met each other all those years ago?

Yeah, we had like a we kind of have a funny story about that. I was married and going through We knew we were going to get divorced, but I was finishing a season out and part of it was is we were short selling our house way back then when everybody was short selling their houses, and Eddie lived in the neighborhood and a mutual friend of ours took me to his house to look at it because he thought about renting it. So and this is the house we're in today, and so camera guys behind me. My

It really was love at first sight. I never believed in that, but I experienced when I first looked at our stars and birds and all this, like I was hallucinating on drugs or something, you know, not that I've ever but it felt like a cartoon, Like when you see that on cartoon, you smash the head you watch love. I'm a looney tune guy.

So that's that's why he likes me.

We still watch them sometimes, absolutely do all right, who made the first moves me?

I think you? Yeah, yeah I did.

Yeah.

We were celebrating the holidays because this was sometime around June that we met, and then I didn't hear from her talk to her because I knew she was married for about six months. Seven months, holidays hit our friend Marcos again Cupid invited me to some of the same parties that she was attending, and we just had so much chemistry. We kept sitting next to each other and you know, talking, and at one point it was kind of awkward because I'm having this intimate conversation with her.

Yeah, I literally even though I knew I was getting divorced and it wasn't working out in my other marriage, Eddie and I had talked and he said, listen, you got to figure your shit out. I really like you, I really want this to go somewhere, but you got to figure your shit out. So it didn't talk for a little while, and then I literally left.

My husband couldn't live without me, and.

We've been I never dated anybody else. We've been together ever since. I might say that's cheating. Yeah, I don't give a shit.

That's one way to put it. Yeah, Oh, did we mention we missed you, Temva. Next question, this is always a big one in relationships. Who said I love you first?

I'll let you answer that.

I don't remember it was me? Was it you? It was, Oh, I love you too?

Years later I love that. How long?

How long did you all date before you got engaged? And then how long was the engagement.

We dated? I think it was like a year, right, and then we got engaged on TV, and then it was a couple of years, a little over two years before we actually got married. I think we were together a little over three years before we walked down the aisle.

Yeah, it all felt like it happened so fast, though, because being a public figure and being on TV, it felt like your world is just going a thousand thousan an hour. And it felt like we met, fell in love, moved in together, and got married within six months.

But it was I kicked him into reality TV?

And what is this show? Now?

This next question we might seem to know they answered based on the chemistry question. You answered did you know they were the one? And I asked that, I'll ask the next part of it. Did you always were you always believers? And there was always a one out there for you or did something change with this relationship?

I would say I didn't know she was the one because having many relationships, I always felt like they were the one.

And you know, he's a hopeless romantic.

I commit one hundred percent to what I do. So if if that was defined as the one, because nobody really ever defined that as who's the one? And what is the one? Mean? Is the one forever? Or is the one for the next six months?

You know?

But the one that you know, I remember that got away never existed because they were always the one, and going into this relationship, I honestly didn't think she was the one. I mean, she had a hundred kids and a terrible X and you know, there was a lot of baggage there. And I think you said was the one? Well, when we first kissed, Diamn, when we first kissed.

And oh okay, very early on, yeah, very early on.

It wasn't too far from the minute I met you to the time because you couldn't be the one because you were married, right, you know, she's not the one. A lot of baggage. I don't know what this TV stuff is, and I just went with it and I let my heart grow into it. And I discovered I think two months after we dated and kissed and spent time together that I felt like she is the one. She's the one I could spend the rest of my

That sounds ideal. What is your age difference and has that played a role at all in your relationship?

So Eddie is five and a half years younger than me, and depending on if he's like if we're in the same like if we're in the fifties or the forties together, like I feel like, oh, no big deal. But now we're both in our fifties. So he was in his thirties when I met him, and I had just turned forty one or two or something like that. And you know, there's always an issue like did he want kids? Like is this going to work out? Is he going to

Now, okay, we're five years of art four and a half, it's it's five and a half who's older.

Who's older?

I'm older and he's in his forties, and I so get that camera because, yeah, we're in the same decade, because it feels weird when we're in different decades.

We got several more years of this.

I just like being in the same decade. I think, like, once you hit fifty, it's like, okay, you're just old.

But when he's like.

Thirty forty, and I'm like, oh, I don't like this. And then when I hit fifty and he was still in his forties, I'm like, damn, like you got to catch up.

Well, it seems like every year she adds a year to my age.

I forget how old you are.

Yeah, close, getting closer in age.

I'm closing that gap.

Yeah.

Next question, dear guys, why did you want to take the step of being married. How do you think your relationship would be different if you remained a couple but unmarried.

Wow? I never really thought about not getting married. I was always like, you know, I always wanted to be married. I obviously I have been divorced twice. I love being married, I love having plus having children. I just always wanted to be married. I never like now at my age if something were to happen between us, I would probably never get married again. I would probably just you know, if I ever found somebody, it would just be a partner.

Oh she killed it.

She stuffed it in the couch coouch because it wasn't a real baby, it was a robot.

Me in the morning, and then I found out the next morning this this robot, Astro is his name, Astro was under the couch dead, and I'm like, we're not having kids.

You just lost the house.

Okay, Well, I mean so it's you guys made the right choice.

Then I think, yes, definitely.

Did your relationship have the support of your friends and your family.

Yes, yeah, yeah, coming from a relationship that nobody had my support. Yeah, they were taking bets at my last wedding how long it was going to last. So yeah, no. My In fact, my family has said to me, if anything were to happen between you guys, if you ever got divorced, we're keeping Eddie and we're going to throw you out. We're divorcing you.

That's a good time that you got a good one.

Yeah, yeah, how would you all know?

Next question, how would you describe your first year of marriage?

I don't think it was that easy. Our first year marriage, we were also opening up a business together, cut Fitness, so adding that putting that together, he started working all the time he was gone all the time he had he was working at a law firm, family law firm and opening up the business at the same time. So he I went from like seeing so much of him and then we got married and it's like, Okay, where are you? Where are you? So you know, I think

All I remember is and I don't know that I could do it today, but it's it's like juggling a hundred balls in the air. We're filming a reality TV show, we're opening up a new business, we're moving in together.

I have three kids.

We have three kids, and we're getting a dog. And I never wanted a dog in my house because you know, they tear up everything. Now I can't live without my dog. So it was it was a lot.

It was possibly more so for me because you know, he doesn't have any children, and so bringing three kids into which was his house, which always felt weird to me because it was his house, and then having to like make sure, oh my god, did you know my daughter make a mask? Do I have to clean it up?

Like?

Did she not clean it up to it? The dishes aren't done, like you know, you worry about that. I don't want him to ever think like, oh God, because we didn't move in like we were dating. I had my own house. We didn't really move in until shortly before the wedding. Yeah, so it was all kind.

Of nice and that was part of the reason in our discussions about moving in together. We had to you know, make it make sense for our kids as well. Can't just be living together not married and you know, not that there's anything wrong with that, but for us traditionally, it made more sense to you know, set up everything so it's a comfortable transition for the kids. They had

Do you notice how he calls the kids his kids, So yeah, he always has.

Yeah, and we wanted the transition to be as comfortable and smooth as possible so that the kids don't, you know, go too south on us. Crazy.

Yeah, well we were working. I mean, it was working against us because their father was, you know, feeding in terrible stories about me about him, and you know, it was a typicult transition.

The horse is tough, especially public ones. And then yeah, yeah, we we know exactly how tough that can be. All right, here's a fun one. How often do you have sex? And how has that changed over the years.

Oh my god, we used to have it all the time.

All started with five hours session when we first met. I think we're down to five seconds. It's only eleven years.

Here.

Yeah, you know, the good thing about being married is you can like look over and go tomorrow, I'm tired. Tomorrow.

Okay, tomorrow.

That's a great answer, and that's enough. Thing. A lot of people can't see this, but we can see you are right now. You all are actually holding hands and have been always been sitting it. So that was our next question, How important is physical touch in your relationship? And yeah, something as simple as holding hands when you're walking down the street.

Do you all do that one hundred percent? I think that's mostly driven by me. I'm a very touch of hilly kind of person, and she's completely the opposite. She hates being touched. She obviously never or and I wouldnt say never, but hardly ever gets massages, pictures. She just does not like to be touched. So it's one of those things like, well can I touch you? Do I have permission? I mean I got a mirror certificate.

A very like cold family where nobody touched, nobody hugged, never said I love you. You know my mom will still to this day come over and then visit and where's mom?

Oh?

She just the Irish exit. She just decided to leave. No no goodbyes, no goodbyes.

Oh okay, no, I don't let her go without hugging me.

Yeah.

So he's kind of nurtured me in that way where like every night we literally fall asleep holding hands every night.

That is so sweet. I'll take it in the other direction and ask how often would you say you two fight.

Anymore. I mean, we've had our battles. I call him growing pains.

We're not real big fighters. It used to be because Eddie kind of holds everything inside. So every six months he'd have some big explosion about something, and then that kind of just we worked ourselves through it. I think in rarely. I would say rarely, I can't even remember the last time we got into a fight, and I'm not lying.

Wow, that's awesome. So do you remember? This is the next question. What were the things you used to fight about? Was there a theme to the fights? Were you having the same fight.

Usually it's stemmed from kids. No, not really. The biggest fight we had had was associated with one of the cast members on the show.

And oh yeah, and.

I hate her with the passion because who she is and what she is and what she's and what she's done to you.

Does everybody else know that story? We just don't.

I think you just know it. I mean everybody. I think to let people know that you don't like this person, she's just constantly attacking, and it would put me in a really weird spot because we work together. So how do I you know, I try to bury it all and act like it's not happening. So I would invite her places and he's like, I don't want to be around this woman. And Eddie loves everybody everyone, So when he says like he does not want to be around this person, like he means it, when's the.

Last time one of you had to say you were sorry to the other? It sounds like it's been a while.

No, I don't think I don't have I said sorry.

I have no problem apologizing or her if I say something.

But what was the last time.

I don't know, something stupid, like you know, something I said or something I did.

No, you know what, that's not true. You know. I'm actually going through therapy right now, and I have been for about three months and so many ups and downs. I've never taken this journey before, but just going back into my marriage to you know, being a young kid, my parents divorce and all that stuff. I had said to him when I got back from therapy, I was crying and crying, cright all the way home and cry

Oh wow, that is interesting. Guys, what is the one thing? You all don't fight much? But I am curious and a lot of people would be to know what's the one thing you know you can do or say to stop a fight the end? One's a lot of people wou look for advice when you're in the middle. How do you just.

It?

I don't really know, because we've discovered that our personalities are such that she likes to resolve it right now problems, whatever problems they are, and I'm completely the opposite. I can't solve it right now because I'm going to say something that I really regret, or I just don't like to be pushed or pushed into a corner because I'm going to come out boxing and I'm gonna deckut indvertently, and that hit me. That's why just leave me alone and give me three weeks to get over it. I'm

A fight, and that drives me crazy. I've learned to deal with it, like I just want, like, just get this over with right, But he'll like just hold a grudge and walk in a room and not say anything. And I'm like, oh so now, you know, almost fifteen years into it, I'm like, oh god, let him be a little little boy and I'll let's be over here and wait for him to grow up.

And I just got to go and take some time to myself. And that way, I don't, you know, say something I regret, like stop being a little I've been holding on to that one for ah.

Oh my god, now are you again? You do like you buy buried often? But are you one of those couples who says we don't ever go to bed angry.

I don't like to. I don't like we haven't in years that I mean, I can't remember last we have, we have we have, and I feel to me like that's the worst feeling in the entire world. You can't get to good night's slate. Yeah, you know, it's just it's something I don't like to do. But yes, we have done it.

Yeah, I don't like to do it either. But you know, like I said, sometimes she makes me really upset and it'll take me a day to just calm down to be able to talk to her like a civilized human.

Okay, this next question then, is a good turn for us all. Eddie, what do you love most about Tamara? And Tamara? What do you love most about Eddie?

For me, it's just Eddie's heart. Yes, he is a good looking guy, but it's his heart. He's just he loves everybody, everybody, and he's so kind and takes the time to talk to everybody, and he's very touchy feely, and he's just he's just a good guy. Nothing sh about him, nothing unethical, nothing like, just a good person and just finds the happiness out of every situation that he's in. Now I'm the total opposite, So I'm like, I hate everybody. Everybody bugs me.

I don't want any new friends, so we don't have any friends.

So he is the total opposite and it kind of you know, I love seeing that and I love being around it and just the positivity it helps me. And I've definitely grown like I'm starting to like people. Not everybody, but I'm starting to like them.

Well, you've just erased your harassments of me talking too much to people because she gives me a hard time all the time. Why do you talk to people so long? When we had the gym, you know, I hear out my clients.

Well, you have the gift of gab.

No, I just like to really, you know, listen to what people are saying. And that usually.

Takes He means people at the grocery store. He means people at you know, Target Costco. They can just he can get in like he should have been a therapist.

I don't like chit chat. I don't give a shit about the weather. I can see it, But you talk to I will talk to anybody who's willing to listen.

And Eddie, what do you love most about Tamra?

I like her free spirit. She really it's sort of self serving because it makes me feel good to see her spread her wings and be herself and create this life that she just loves to live. And that's really fulfilling to me. So, you know, she has her quirks, but overall, she's just a beautiful person that just loves

Well and I love that you don't try to control me because I was in a very controlling relationship, very controlling like what I could wear, where I could go, what I could eat, like everything was controlled. In fact, when I you know, my relationship went further along with Eddie, I started to feel like he didn't love me because he wasn't trying to control me. And I always thought that control meant love because I was around it for so long and in it so deep, and it wasn't

Right. Next question, the practical one for couples. How do you handle finances? Shared account separate? How do you do it all?

We share everything. I handle the finances. I give her reports, I give her updates. I want her to take the steerwheels some day, because if I was to get hit by a bus, she really doesn't even know how to look at the finances. It's just scary. But it's all pretty automated. Everything's organized, and if there was anything that happen to me, she could hire somebody.

He's very organized, So it's best that he controls all the you know, the bills and all that stuff. And I trust you, Right's kidding? Now, I totally trust him, and I have access to bank accounts and all that stuff. But he does a really good job just investing our money and doing all that kind of stuff where I would know how to do that.

That's cool. How about the household chores, cooking, cleaning, kids, dog? How do you all split those kind of mundane things that can actually end up causing so many problems?

And really, yeah, Eddie cooks.

I love to cook.

He loves to cook, and so he cooks as healthy meals all the time. Household chores. I'm kind of a little bit of a clean freaks. I'm always picking things up. He likes to pile things. This bedside table, there's a bunch of shit just piled up, but it's all organized. That drives me crazy. I like everything to be clean, but I hate doing dishes.

And that's I don't do dishes.

He doesn't do dishes.

Es actually do dishes. Our very first fight had to do with dishes. I do dishes a certain way where I wash them and then or rinse them off, get all the food off, and I put them in the dishwasher. She likes to soak them for days and they just days. They just sit in the sink, and it drove me insane.

I just hate doing the dishes. My mom made me do the dishes every single night, and it was to me, it was just such a chore. Now a lot of times we just have Sofia do the dishes.

Yeah, but should do Sofia should do the dishes for Sophia as well, because she just loves to do dishes so much. But because of that fight, I do not touch the dishes, but I will clean the kitchen. I will do everything else. We have a house cleaner that comes once a week. She does the heavy mat and every other week every the week, I do my own laundry. I do my own laundry, just organized that way. I like the way I do my laundry.

Sophia does her own laundry.

Yeah. The only room in the house that I actually have one hundred percent responsibility to clean is the garage. And I'm happy with that. I'm just not happy where everything that, you know, boxes and trash ends up in the freaking garage.

Lots of Amazon boxes get thrown in the garage.

So cleaning the cars, gassing the cars, I like taking care of that. He puts gas in my car too, services, oil services. And the dog. Because the dog is actually my dog. I have to pick up for it and walk it and feed it and love it.

We had a dog that passed away and we had one year without having a dog, and it was just there was like a little bit of a break where you didn't have to pick up the dog poop, you didn't have to worry about the dog and all that stuff. And my daughter had just graduated high school and I'm like, we're home free, really no responsibility. And then he wanted another dog, So I'm like, okay, your dog, you pick up after it.

A next question for you here, how much time apart do you need? How much time do you all spend alone?

Not much?

Not much? Yeah, we do. I do cherish the times I spend alone, and oh thank you. I get those when I ride my bike, or if I drive to Big Bird by myself and stay there for a couple of days by.

Myself, which doesn't happen very often.

It doesn't happen very often, but it is so rewarding. Not rewarding, but like relieving to have a little bit of self mental time where you got no distractions, no questions, nothing. And I say that because before I met my wife, I had a lot of that. I had this big house by myself and I would no kids, no dogs, nothing, I would work all day, long day and come home and just I say this all the time. I can't walk around naked my own around my own house anymore,

No, I don't want to walk past a mirror. No do we spend a lot of time together now I'm going into filming season right now, so it's going to take me away a lot, and we travel and stuff like that. I think that's the most time that we spend a part. We just got back from Big Bear. We were there for three days. We have a house there, so and there we're you know, together the entire time. That's where we relax. But we also have two offices, this office and the office next door, which is his.

We both go to the gym together. Yeah, we do most majority of the things to do together.

Yeah, that's really sweet.

I love that.

What for you would be a relationship deal breaker, like an.

End cheating cheating? Yeah, infidelity, that would be.

And I think she.

Can crash the car, she can burn the house down.

You know, she chased you with a knife and I'm kidding, no, it's it's definitely cheating, you know. It's we're so connected and if he ever cheated, I just feel like I would never be able to get over it. Ever, and we don't have children together, so it's always in Emotionally it's hard, but it's an easier break when you don't have children together.

Next question here, have you all been to couples therapy?

No?

No, no, never, never ever?

All right? Is what would be one thing if you could change about your partner? What would it be?

How loud he eats?

Wow?

How sensitive her ears are? Wow? She has I can't chew, I can't, I can't breathe, I can't, I can't.

I have like sensory issues. It's not just him, it's everybody. So like if somebody talks behind me, like I want to punch somebody in the.

Throat, So we have to switch chairs and I'll sit next to the loud tables. Yeah, she doesn't go berserk.

Yeah.

So like we'll be sitting at dinner at our bar top in our kitchen and then he'll turn the music on Alexa, play music.

Play anything to save my life here?

Yeah?

Next question here. I know you don't fight much, but have you ever in the middle of a heated argument threatened to break up, threaten to walk out, or even threaten to get divorced?

Yeah?

Yeah, Watch when well, that one had to been you, because it's not me. I don't do that. I learned in my last relationship, like when you start threatening divorce all the time, it just becomes like so repetitive. When you're fighting, Like we were fighting all the time, I'd always say like, oh my god, I just want a divorce. And then once you start saying that like it's truly over, I think it's over.

And actually, this is where I give her a lot of credit because this is one of the biggest lessons I learned from her. In the beginning, when we would have big fights, I would say, you know, I'm out, I'm doone. I don't want to be in this relationship. And she would always pull me back and kind of teach me like, no, this is not how it works.

You know, he's a runner.

I'm a runner. And she's changed that for me, and I see the beauty and that and the value and that and that fighting are just growing pains that just bring you closer together. But fortunately there's so many more good times in bad times that the little things that we've thought about that that really it helped us grow together. It didn't it changed me into you know what, I'm not going to say that anymore because I don't mean that, and I'm not going to walk away from this relationship.

That's really cool. What's the closest you all ever came to breaking up or to calling it quits.

I don't think we've ever been there, No, I don't.

I think in the very beginning, the first year that we were together, it was just so stressful and so overwhelming. My ex was writing me hard and you know, brainwashing children and doing all that that it just got and doing public stories stories. It was just so such a stressful time for us that I mean, I remember one time, like you took off, you just left, in the middle of a fight. You just left, and I'm like, wouldn't pick up his phone, wouldn't return a text message, and

That's you.

Hey, what do you want for dinner?

No?

You do it?

Yes you do.

You know. It's another thing I learned from you.

When we come out and see you all again, we'll explain laughing so much, this is you. We don't want to talk about us.

Today, exactly, very familiar.

Last week got about six or seven eight questions. Your last the next one here, what is the sweetest thing Tamera? You can remember Eddie doing for you? And the same question for you.

Was the sweetest My gosh.

Remembery you something a standout thing that you were like, Wow.

The biggest thing I remember is realizing that she is paying attention to what I like, and that was reflective in our marriage, our wedding, I should say where at the time I was a huge gummy bear lover and used to eat gummy bears all the time. So she had a five pound gummy bear I've never seen in my life, and I in my.

At our wedding a reception. We had a whole gummy bear bar.

Yeah, it was gummy bears everywhere. And the other part is she also knows I'm a big or it used to be a big cyclist, road cyclist. And she had the decorator hang aid, the florist, the floors, a bicycle, a real bicycle road bike upside down with the flowers at our reception. So and she even had a custom cake make made with the helmet and the cyclis and the cycling shoes and the cycling gears. So that really felt like, oh my god, she really is paying attention

Yeah. I think for him is that like I always know every Valentine's Day, I'm going to get i don't know, five dozen roses, like some overwhelming amount. Just the fact that he really cares about me and takes care of me, and like he told me last month, he's like, listen, I don't want you to put gas in your car anymore. I'm going to do it for you because there's this girl is getting kidnapped and things like that. Like he's really concerned for my safety all the time.

Dam it, Eddie I only gave her a three dozen roads.

I'll send you a link you can get three for twelve.

Thank you.

It's sweet when you get so many that you lose count when you're trying to count how many there are.

I love that.

I just don't want it to backfire. I mean, because if I gat her too many, then she's going to be pissed because she has to you know, organize put on seven basis and like that didn't work.

What would you say the biggest compromise each of you made by choosing to be together or while like to make your marriage good, Like if you notice things were tough to first year, what would you say the biggest compromise was that you made to make it work.

That's a tough one. I think probably with the children. I think that, Yeah, that was probably the toughest thing. Is you know, I was going through such a bad divorce and he was trying to turn the children against me. And when that's happening, when you're in your own household, you walk on eggshells around your own children.

Do you remember that?

And you don't discipline them maybe the way you should, because you know, the father of the children, or trying to turn them against you, And I was really really letting them get away with a lot of stuff, not that they were doing anything bad, but it was always like, you know what, you can't let this person do this to you and your kids. Like so, I think that was probably the biggest just learning how to combine a family together, make everybody happy. That was probably the biggest compromise.

Yeah, and for me, I don't think it was that difficult because most of my relationships I've had I think I've only had two relationships where the woman was childless, but most of the relationships there was, you know, a step child involved and I never knew why.

But prepare you for this match.

Prepare me for this because I took it as okay, I see what's going on. I see what he's doing to the children. I see how she's handling it, and I have to be able to take a step back and not be a father figure, but be a just a friend or a person here for the kids, because I know generally wants.

To be the father figure. He really does in his nature, but it was were so poisoned against.

Him, it's hard to be that figure. I just saw chaos happening. If I was to try to be a father even though their father wasn't being a father. I just didn't feel like I could win that battle. So it was a big sacrifice for me to just step back and watch the train wreck happen. But the kids turned out good, and you know, fortunately, it took time for them to really realize what they were dealing with.

They're all older now. Sophia's nineteen. She's the only one left, you know, she's only one here, so that's awesome.

Next question for you, did you have a honeymoon phase? How long would you say it lasted? What did it evolve into? Which is what phase are you in now? Did you catch.

Oh, we had a really really long honeymoon phase. I really do think that and some might say, like we're still in the honeymoon phase because we're always together, We're always holding hands and things like that. We've always been super connected. Are we banging ten times a day? Like we used to. No, we're older, we're getting tired.

It's not me.

I'm tired. I'm sorry. Maybe tomorrow, Yeah, tomorrow, I got to it tomorrow, all right.

So final question, everyone always wants to know what the secret with the key is. What would you say is the reason why you all have not just made it for fifteen years, but are joyful and still in love and happy together after all these years. What is it?

I think respect, Like I respect him and he respects me, and you know, I don't ever try to stop him from doing anything, and he does the same for me. He you know, there was a time where he was cycling every single day and it's like a big ordeal. Did I love it?

No?

But I knew that he liked it. I knew that it brought him joy. And yeah, I think it has to do with respect and being kind to each other. I'm not a big fan of like calling names, because I feel like those are things that you can't take back, and I don't ever want to bring that into this relationship because as soon as you start doing that, there's no going backwards. Because your words when you're mad, a lot of times, it's what you really think, and they

Well, I disagreed, doctor Phil. I think that's why you have to take some time away so you don't say things you don't mean. That's what I said, so I said it under the you know, duress of I don't want to talk right now. It doesn't mean I mean it calling you an asshole or you know whatever. You know, I just you gotta give me time. Personally, My answer

We're going to ski this year.

She's going to ski this year.

We're going to ski this share.

I don't want to do that.

I guess that's exciting next.

But I think that's such good advice because the respect. I so agree with you camera. If you don't have respect for someone, and if you lose respect for someone, it's over, it's over. And staying young with someone, having fun with someone, trying new things with someone, that's creating just new connections. I love it. I think that's amazing advice.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

We are lucky and hope really we'll see you guys out there, really, mister you. We had a blast out there with you all.

I know, I know coming out.

We came in for some coverage. Yeah, how are you all doing out there? I mean, everybody good.

We're about an hour away from LA because we're in an Orange County. Lots of people like production people, we know they all live in LA. A lot of people have lost their houses and it's just so devastating.

So yeah, we only came out for that. We might come out for the Heart Music Awards.

Yeah, we'll be there.

That'll be fun. Yeah, the next time. But really, guys, you all are absolutely awesome and we're always looking for advice ourselves.

Seriously, I think we all are, honestly.

Yeah, listening to you guys, we were both like, oh my god, oh my god, like it, it's not just us, right, Like, yes, that happens.

Hey, I'm like it, get the fuck out my face. I need a minute.

Yeah, I need a minute.

I'm like, let's figure this out right now.

Just please let me, let me have it, can have it.

I was like, what's happening?

Why?

What the hell? I was wise.

Yeah, it took a lot of fights to get for her to understand it, you know, and for me to realize some things that, you know, going through the struggles of learning each other and getting through each other's habit that we formed.

I call it the only child syndrome. Here we go, the only child syndrome. It's all about me. Okay, it's all about me.

It's never a good start to come. Here we go.

There she goes again.

It is so good to see you all. This is fun having us. No, thank you all so much for this and I promise we're going to see you all out there in March, all right, We're gonna make sure we see y'all.

Can't wait to hear it. Bye bye, guys,