Love Stories: Samantha Greenstone And Jacob Hoff

Hey, there're folks in this episode.

Our Love Stories series continues with what is undoubtedly the most unorthodox married couple in our series, Couple number three, Newlywed's Jacob and Samantha. He's gay, she's straight. They're married, and they're here to help us, help you. Welcome to this special Cuffing season edition of Amy and TJ and Robes. We need to make this clear. They are in a monogamous marriage even though he's a gay man, she's a straight woman.

That's right.

This is Jeff Hoff and Samantha Greenstone. I first read about this couple in the New York Times, and I was fascinated because they are not your typical married couple, and they really want to make it clear. This is not to be confused with a lavender marriage.

Yeah.

Wa to know what that want, I had to google that as well. Basically, that's two people who get together and and one person is gay and is using the other as a beard, basically making other people believe he or she is straight. All the while they're stepping out of their marriage and having those relationships that they actually wish they could have if it weren't shunned or in some way frowned upon to be gay.

So it's a very important distinction.

Correct.

These are two people who love each other, who are dedicated and devoted to one another, who are monogamous. And the way well you'll hear Jeff say it for himself. I don't want to put words in his mouth because it really is fascinated. We asked him, you know, how are you not gay? Why aren't you a bisexual? Why aren't you a pan sexual? He addresses it all and it really makes a lot of sense. It's ultimately one soul connecting to another. It has nothing to do with gender or sexual orientation.

And again, this is a monogamous, yes, monogamous relationship, but a monogamous sexual relationship as well. And this is not a situation where she's saying, Okay, you go do your thing somewhere else. Absolutely not. It is not that. So it's we were trying to get a diversity of couples. This is as diverse as we could get.

Yep, it's true series, and it's cool because this wasn't some impulsive thing they did either. They met at an audition for Fiddler on the Roof, They dated for seven years and really went through it debating whether or not they could each make this kind of I don't want to say sacrifice, but just devotion to one another despite their differences, and they.

Have talked about it, they have talked about it publicly, and they continue to promote, if you will, their relationship and having this type of relationship and giving people another way to think about relationships in marriage with their accounts on social media in particular TikTok. But no matter where you might be in your relationship and your dating life, we could.

All use a little help. And this is why Ropes and I've been doing this.

We have a number of couples we've talked to ask them all the exact same list of relationship questions. Who said I love you first? How often do you have sex? How often do you fight? You go to bit angry? You ever threatened to break up during an argument?

Stuff like that.

But we got practical as well, about finances and chores around the house.

Yeah, the things that a lot of times, the mundane things that weigh couples down. But we, as we mentioned, talk to a diverse bunch. We have an interracial couple with a thirty year age difference, a couple celebrating eleven years, but she was married when they first met. An actress and a country singer and her pro soccer hubby who lived in another continent. A mixed orientation and couple who you're going to hear today.

So we're going to drop a new episode with a new couple every single day leading up to Valentine's Day. So today it is Samantha and Jacob. Please take a listen to our conversation with him.

Thank you so much for being with us.

Thank younas.

We're so excited.

Oh good, because I hope you can match my enthusiasm. So you guys kind of exploded in terms of being known because the New York Times did an article on you.

You all, this is self described.

Are a mixed orientation couple. Tell us what that means?

Okay, So the technical definition of mixed orientation is that one partner's sexual preference or their identity is different than the other partners. So one person can be straight and the other person can be gay or a whole slew of whatever you identify as. But they're two different things coming together in a relationship.

How does that work? Is the first question. I'm sure you all get because it's just not something we're used to seeing and hearing about totally.

So I think the most important thing for me as the person who identifies as gay is to be able to continue my identity outside of the fact that Samantha and I are in a relationship, married, what have you. And the reason is for the mental health benefits to be able to own your identity as a person and to say that doesn't change. It doesn't change who I am just because my soulmate.

Is Samantha, right, And I think it works because we are soulmates, and when you find your person in life, it transcends whatever logic or anything we put ourselves into a box as because like, your person's just your.

Person, right. And so people will say, well, then why don't you identify as bisexual or why don't you identify pan sexual or all these other labels that they have now, And I think that those are all fantastic. I just don't in my brain, fit into those categories. Bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes, and outside of Samantha, I'm

And so the next question I know that you all get, so I want to get it out of the way, is do you have a sex life and are you monogamous?

Yes? And yes, right, which that also creates confusion for people to say, say, how can you, as a gay man have a sexual relationship with the woman? And that is as we say, it's a sole connection. It's it's not the same thing as that lustful one night stand sort of energy. It's the closest we can be as a couple when we are intimate. It's it's a closeness, it's a bond. It's something transcendent of just sort of that lustful, horny sort of stuff, and you know, and

And apparently I have to spell it out too to some people because when we say intimate, people don't get that, like we're having sex.

So we're having sex. Yes, it's not just like we kiss and hold hands.

Right, but we have to be that specific.

Do you relish the opportunity you have to get a message out to show different type of love that people aren't seeing. Or are you getting to a point of folks leave us alone, don't want to answer any more questions. Let us live our life and live our love and you do your thing.

No, I think we do relish. That's the best way that I could. I love that you put it that way, because that is the perfect way to describe our passion for this. I think had we had an example like us at the beginning of our relationship, it would have saved us a lot of confusion. It would have saved us a lot of just feeling like a freak show

Yeah.

So we basically timeline We were best friends for eighteen months before dating, and then once we started dating, I say, there was about a six to eight month honeymoon period and then there was maybe three plus years of like, so there was a lot of ups and downs of confusion and what's going on here? And is this something that's really going to last? And insecurities and things that came up that I think come up in a lot

So sometimes people on our videos will be like, we get it, you're married to a gay man.

You don't have to tell us every time, And I'm like, no, we do.

Because if we can reach one new person because of that tagline, and we reached the right person who's like also in this relationship dynamic, and we can cause them to be a little less confused as they're just like exploring their relationship, that's worth it.

Yeah, I mean it's beautiful. It's one soul recognizing another. I think it's awesome. So I'll start now on the questions that we have been asking.

Everybody, but you just are so special. We had to ask a few out of the box. So I thank you.

We we so appreciate your willingness to talk about it because it's so special and it's so cool. So if you could describe your relationship right now, each of you in three words, what three words would you use?

I would say honest, I would say loyal.

Yeah, disloyal and honestly the same.

I think they're a little different because you can be disloyal and you're to be honest.

You're right, okay, come on, so these are his words.

Let him have his words.

You get free too, and loyal, honest and playful.

Okay. And for me, I would say fun, happy and.

Just perfect.

Well, and you all already the next question here you already said that you were friends, so best friends for a while before you actually got into a relationship. But was there immediate chemistry, whether that was friendship chemistry or romantic chemistry when you first first met.

Yeah, the very first meeting, I say, was like a fan meeting the diva at the stage door because Samantha was going in for the callback of the show. They were calling back. The Frumisarah's which, if you know Fiddler on the Roof is this witch who comes in the nightmare sequence, and there's more of a ghost witch, but

Yeah.

Like, I'm like the type of person who's like, once I do an audition, I like to like just leave the building and pretend it didn't happen, because it's if you dwell on it, it just you know, it's it can drive you cucko.

So I'm like he was telling me what I was already thinking. I was like, I just killed that.

And then so I was like, great, he's like reaffirming that.

I feel like I just killed it, and he's telling me that I just killed it.

But there was like this like immediate friend after once we were cast and were in rehearsals together, we were immediate friends. Spending every minute together, I mean till four in the morning. We would be hanging out every day after rehearsal.

Was Sunrise Sunset? Was that a part of your wedding?

H No, no, no, Well.

I love that song.

I do too. I that's like the most beautiful. So our friends did it at their wedding like a month before ours, and it's like, you know, we'll let them, let them have that one.

But he did enter the Phantom of the Opera I did with a mask.

With a mask? Yeah, whoa?

So you love that?

Yeah, there's a there's a portion towards the end of the musical where like she rips off his mask in front of a bunch of people and there's like this scream, and so I wanted that to open the wedding, but.

Of course then it sets off our two year old nieces, who are the flower girls in the back. They hear the scream and then you hear it's like this beautiful moment where it's like the scream and then Jacob's mom walks out to walk him down the aisle to all I ask of you.

But like, oh, she's freaking out, and she's like, that's so funny.

But that's so cool. Another one of my favorite musicals, who said I who said I love you? First?

He did?

Did yeah, and he had threw tears. I was about to say, yeah, I need that sort of drama.

You know what.

We will follow up there since you said there were tears involved, What did the what did it look like when you said I love you? What was the setting, what was the scenario and what prompted it?

It was post coitus and yeah, we were laying in bed and I just started crying and I said I love you. And this was like what like a week in questioning, I've been easy easy gal.

Oh my goodness, that's amazing.

So what is your age difference and has that had any kind of impact on your relationship?

We are six six seven years, six and a half years right now for six years because he's turned Yeah, we're in like that six month grace period where we get to be six months apart or six years apart.

Yeah, but in April we'll be seven years apart.

That's so Samantha, you're older, right, I'm older. Yeah, So that's why we have the same thing. We're four and a half years, I'm older and he loves it. When there's a five year difference, because he can just somehow, it just feels like.

He can just twist them.

Samantha is coming up very soon.

It's gonna be five years.

Like in like a week, we're in the five year difference.

Yeah, I've lived for it.

But I also think, don't they say that, like women live longer. So I'm like, maybe, like the age difference, like maybe it will like balance out and will like to die at the same time. Universe, please like not like from like a freak accident. I have to like talk to the universe about these.

Things, since well I almost feel like a freak accident would be the easiest thing, like a year like ninety and a freak accident happens in your bother.

Okay, so don't be like I want it to be like that later on in life, not.

Like well yeah, way later on. Why last we've lived dark gray golden years turning dark real quick?

Next question though, make suio it's not too dark. Okay, this one should be okay. Why did you want to be married? Why was it important to have that label actually of marriage and to make it official.

It's fascinating because we've been raised in very different upbringings. I my parents have been together since the day they married. Both of my brothers married to their i mean their wives. They were like long time dating before they started their marriages, and so to me, I've always had an example of just marriage being this beautiful, amazing.

Health the thing.

Jacob has divorced parents, his mom's been married several times, and.

Yeah, I had a very different perspective of marriage growing up, and that when I was like, before meeting Samantha and everything, my whole thing was like I'm not going to get married, and like that's not going to be my life. And yeah, it just it became this thing over the years of us dating where it was just like, of course, that's what we want to do. That is, of course the next step. And seeing her family being so rock solid really helped me understand the beauty of that.

So you mentioned your family, Samantha, but I'm curious, did you all both have the support of your friends and your family. Did they support your relationship and ultimately your marriage.

Yes, one thousand percent.

Yeah, I've never felt from any aspect of our life that we weren't supported. The only time I feel like I actually feel like our relationship helped reiterate.

Who the loving people in our lives were.

Friendship wise, it always felt like we had our family support, but the people who like can't wrap their.

Heads around our dynamic.

Once we started being so vocal about just Jacob being gay and just talking about being in a mixed orientation relationship, we saw that some friends were like, well, this is making me feel conflicted about my own gay identity, and we're like, okay, Like they're just like, that's not like someone who's like a lifer.

Like that.

Yeah, you all on newlyweds now not through the whole first year of marriage, but how would you describe marriage so far? And has something changed in the relationship once it became official.

Well, interesting, we've just been through probably one of the most insane months of our lives with the buyers. Yeah, and it's put some of our family members the homes have burned down.

Yeah, like my brother's home burned down and then our in.

Law or his in laws allasades and we've.

Kind of like put our lives on hold to help them.

Yeah. So we had basically six weeks into marriage we went into this thing where it was like it was almost like the universe, putting it to the test and saying like, how devoted are you to your family and devoted to being a team together and getting through a crazy ass time.

Wow.

So it's like crazy that we went from like the highest time in our life to like, yeah, this like dark time.

Yeah, So I put yeah, yeah, the Palisades was our community. I mean, I work for her brother, taking care of his kids, taking them to school. We spend our holidays there or spent our holidays there, and it's just like to see it all disappear is pretty pretty devastating, and it's like that was that was something that anchored us to where we live and made us feel a sense of community. And it wasn't just like a couple people lost their house. It was a whole you know, community.

But we got through it together one thousand percent.

Yeah.

And I think it's interesting because I've been saying to people like, he doesn't feel any different than when we were dating, Like it feels like we've always been married. But it did feel on the day of the wedding like I felt like maybe like a spiritual shift a little bit where I was like, okay, like we are now in this I felt like our relationship was always predetermined in the stars, I don't think that. It's like I feel like it's just our fate to be together.

So then when we were like making it.

Like official by law and in the stars, it did kind of feel.

Like okay, like I do feel like we have a little extra magic. Now.

Well, the first time you said husband, oh yeah, that's weird. That's really weird. This is my husband rail now.

Really, so I love that.

How important is we've discussed and established that you all have a sex life, But how important is physical touch to you? Like holding hands and just you know, some people don't like it, some people aren't touching really, how are How do you all handle physical touch?

I think it's very important, Like Jacob like helps reassure me about anything in life through physical touch.

Yeah, and we all like sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and as we all do, like I guess up and make coffee and then we're like we just start working and then she'll be like, we haven't hugged or my kiss a hug right now, I'm just like warm, Like I get up and I'm like work and it's like two or he'll.

Be like to be able to be like, can we have a hug right now? We're always checking in and being like we.

Need hug each other right now, or it happens naturally, like of course, like if we're like watching a movie or something, or we're just like out and about, but we have to remind ourselves if we're working, we're like, we gotta we gotta check in right now because it'll help us be less crazed.

So Samantha's must struggle every morning that she comes out of the bedroom just right to work. I tell her the first thing. The first time we engage in the morning, there are two laptops in between us. We're making eye contact with two laptops, and there we go. We're going at it. So that's a very important.

We do try to like give each other a hug when we go up to warm up our coffee or whatever, our tea and then like hey, baby walking back.

That is very important.

But is there also amazing to know that you just like are so secure in your relationship that you can be like, oh, here we are, like we're working, and like just being next to one another right now is enough because we're comfortable enough with one another.

Like I think that's there's some merit there as well.

Yeah, and to that point, next question, how often do you fight?

Oh?

You know, it's funny.

When we were going through our period of insecurity, there was a lot of fighting. There was for the early years were plagued with a lot of that because I was not a verbal person. I say that my my like default is like a brooding James Dean, Like I just kind of go around being just like yeah, yeah, right, I know what.

That's like seeing James Dean over here too, yes, and it's.

Just like it.

Meanwhile, I have a degree in communications with a mind, so I'm like.

Really, yeah exactly. So it's like I love talking about people and feelings.

Let's talk about it. She's like Robin Williams are doing stand up. It's just like.

We need to take a beat between jokes, please.

Breath.

I like, yeah, so see the sweat building up.

Yeah, that was That was a challenge the first few years because I was just like a wall and didn't want to didn't know how to verbalize, and had to do the therapy and had to do all the things that get you to a place where you can verbalize healthily. Now it's a lot less I mean, it's it's a lot less frequent, it's a lot less intense.

We just we call it we have words with one another. Yeah, it's not like fighting, it's just we have words.

Yeah.

Sometimes.

Now do you go to bed angry? Have you gone to bed angry?

I know people always say that's a big advice, never go to bed angry.

Right, We've gone to bed angry a couple times, But I feel like we do in our consciousness, like even if we are angry at one another, will still kiss.

Good each other good night. Bill be Like we can go to.

Bed angry but still acknowledge that we might not wake up next the next day, and we don't want.

To like wake up without even if we're mad at one another, without having kissed one another before we went to sleep.

Yeah, And it's just like you know that we've gotten a lot better about it. We've gotten a lot better about shortening the Her brother said to us, said to me before we got married, He's like, you know certain things do I feel like changed about my marriage was that you realize you just have to get over things quicker and like that this is this is who you're married to, and you've got to pick out, and I read this really interesting thing about this, like Buddhist philosophy

And I make sure he suffers.

Amazing advice. I have never heard it changed the.

Way I think because I was like, you know that, it's it's so easy to just dwell and woe is me all the time.

Well, next question here we'll go to some more practical things around the house that every couple has to deal with. How do you manage finances? Are you all a joint or separate account and separate money kind of folks or what?

Well, this is we.

Didn't get a prenup or anything.

Our prenup is a verbal agree that if he sets up, I get.

Everything that's solid.

Okay, So now it's now it's on record.

That's amazing.

But we we haven't, like when it comes to finances, we just operate as one. We haven't like merged our accounts or anything, because it's some we're still like in the phase of like name changes everything, but when it comes to just that, we just yeah.

We say what's mine is yours? Yeah? Ours? And I think we've been through like our early dating. I mean I literally had zero dollars when we first started dating, and I was just like there were times when I borrowed money from Samantha, or like we we've been both been through periods where it's like we've been with each other through so many ups and downs of that that it's just like we're in this together r actually every which.

Way, and we just even like Jacob has a meeting or like if there's or if I have a meeting, if there's something involved where there's like some financial aspect of it, we're both physically there because we're like, this is our business, this is our life.

We want to make sure that.

And we love we are Hollywood. We love Hollywood, we love old Hollywood and all of that, but we're trying to like also reframe that idea that there's so much out here of this like you're out for yourself and like you're the only one. And you see these couples in this sort of toxic dynamic where they're like fight, they're clawing their own way up the ladder, and they're not working together as a team, and it's like, you're so much stronger when you're the power couple.

Yeah, what do we do with that?

There's, to your point, this idea that folks do want to hold on to some level of independence and their identity. Think you're giving something up if you're creating a new unit, that means you've lost yourself.

If you're forming a new group.

I don't know that to your point, I don't necessarily subscribe to that, but I think a lot of people are starting to think that way now.

I think so when you look back at our parents, I mean, it was teamwork. It was yeah one, it was one bank account, it was together, and that, you know, the separate mentality really can so you know, divisions, I totally get that. What about just all the mundane things that sometimes end up creating fights or disagreements with like splitting household chores and you.

Know how how you manage all of that. Does what that I get an earth?

I do know.

Chores except for laundry. I don't cook.

I don't really do much of the cleaning because I'm not good at it.

And Jacob has let me.

Eat the kitchen way in the kitchen and I I'm in there like, oh, but I love to cook. That's always been my thing. I love to cook. Samantha will find a recipe and be like, Okay, see if you can make this.

Yeah, Like I'm very good about being like here's what we're eating, here's this healthy recipe.

Oh, let's try this. I've heard about this new thing. Let's get this ingredient.

So I'm very good about like helping give purpose in the kitchen, but I am not the purpose in fact, like the I don't know if like this was like my saving grace from the universe or it just was coincidence, but I once lit the kitchen on fire while cleaning, and so.

Yeah, I was like, this is great.

So now this is showing that I am vanished.

From the kitchen.

Wait, somebody to have to ask, how did you do that?

Okay, So during the pandemic, we were teaching a pod school up in Berkeley, California, for a neighborhood of.

Kids and these Berkeley parents, everything has to be homemade, organic everything. So our cleaning fluid was like gasoline, flamml whatever they gave us in this thing with this stove that's like two hundred years old, with the pilot light exposed on the side from the from the burners, and she's spraying that stuff all over the top of the stove and it just ignites. Yeah, and the kids. I'm yelling. I'm like, get the kids out of here. I'm like, there's a fire. What is it called?

I think we're sure.

It's like no more.

Yeah, He's like, you're just banned from the kitchen. I'm like, few, great.

I had to ask.

I had to ask, all, right, next question here? How much alone time or I should I say time away from each other?

Do you feel you need if any?

I think I don't know if we need it. I always feel it's refreshing sometimes, like there'll be days where we're like the last few weeks dealing with the fires and stuff, we were like together NonStop, and the last few days we've gotten back to life and like Samantha's done some work and gotten her hair done, and I feel like some of the space has been good, and like it just makes you when she comes home, it just makes you a little more excited to see each

But I think like we don't really like do like we go out together. We don't have like separate lives where it's like I go hang out with girls.

It's like we would rather do life together.

We have mutual All of our friends are mutual, and that's just they know that, and that's our life and we love it. We'd prefer to be seeing the world through each other's eyes while we're hanging out. Yeah.

I love that you're a unit. You come, You're a package healthy.

Yes, and I miss someone when I'm not with him.

Yeah.

So Jacob, you said you've gone to therapy. Have you all gone to couples therapy? Have you ever seen an emperors together?

Here's what's going to blow your mind.

So yeah, okay, so we were we saw a couple's therapist, like during some of this confusion of like our relationship and we're like, you know, like this relationship sometimes confuses us because Jacob's gay, I'm straight. The therapist is like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I consider myself a straight woman, but I am married to a woman and she's the only woman I've ever been attracted to ever.

But with the exception of her, I'm a straight woman. And we're like, wait a minute, there's more of us out there.

Yeah, and like this is like how like I know the universe just like, yeah, what's you where you need to be?

Because you didn't know that that was the case ahead of time?

No, no, yeah, it was just like one of those random zoom like teledoct title, Yeah exactly, and.

We're telling was going through his healthcare provider.

Yeah, I'm telling and it was just like it was a human moment, but it was I think that is part of what's aided us and being able to be where we're at and be so open the way we are is that having that kind of anchor us. And then we start talking about it more openly with people, and of course in theater, more people start coming to us and saying, you know, this is the dynamic we have in our relationship, and we're like, well, yeah, but

Wow, you are right.

Everyone knows a couple where you're left, I know that man is gay, right, I've said.

That, yes, and we and it's it's like this thing and then he feels this weird like I've seen it a lot where like then he'll like try to overcop and say by doing things that clearly are like overland masculine, and you're like coughing up, just like relax, but or it's just like all this stuff that that causes that

Can I take a personal just help me with this? She does. She says this to me all the time. Well, he's obviously gay. Well, couples like you were described by there for a second, we all know. So my question is when those couples, when you see those couples, does she know he's gay?

Right?

I always ask that question, is is everybody in on it?

Yeah? I wonder that too. I feel like maybe there's there's that there's something she she knows in her heart but isn't saying in her brain.

Or do we have like this extra like gaydar in our detection because we are like in the theater. Like for me, it's like I have my whole life been surrounded by gays. I don't know that that's like a non theater person's perspective in the world.

I mean also, I grew up in southern California.

So if you're not growing up there where you like, or in a state or a place where you have all of these examples around you at all time, given what you're doing for in your life. I don't know that everyone has that ability. I think some people are like, oh, I've never met a gay.

Person before, so yeah. I mean I grew up in a very very like Christian My dad's side is very Christian conservative, and they they've been really lovely and very supportive through all of this, and it's been amazing. But I was afraid to talk to them about being gay, and they it shocked them, And I'm like, it's really shocking you, Like a kid who did theater and listened to share at five years old is like, you're really and they were like, yeah, I just thought that was

Wow.

But I think it's cool that you're out there saying it can exist, it can coexist. Yeah, And that's what's so cool, which I love so much about your story. Have you all in any of your fights, and this might have been earlier on, have you ever threatened to break up, to leave, to end things.

Has it ever gotten to that within your relationship?

Yes, many times, but I feel like it's used more as a weapon, as an argument weapon.

It's ever a reality.

There's never been a moment where I thought, yeah, this ever we're gonna be.

It's more just like, let's be theatrical exactly.

We get there, let's go there.

It's so cool that you guys, it's probably bad in some ways that you're both dramatic and theatrical, but I like, I come from a whole family of theater directors and actors, and so, yes, I am dramatic and theatrical. And he's like, what the.

Actor, Yes, I so, and I come from a family of guys that are a cool of a fan. It's just just chill. But to that point about threatening to walk out, I've said to her she has stopped at the door before because she'll threadn I'm leaving. I said, if you walk out that door, please know we're done and you're not coming back in that door. Don't don't threaten me. It's fine if you want to leave, but don't don't threaten me. I just don't play that thing.

When he said that to me, I'm like, Okay, I'm not going to leave because I knew he mentioned, I was like.

Right, well, I mean I kind of was just kidding, but.

You're good.

Like what we want is for you to run after me and say don't leave. You know that's that's not going to go well with him. So I have learned not to threaten it.

I haven't again, Like, yeah, I feel like once you threat like you threaten it, you're like, oh, I don't like how that felt, and I don't I won't do it again. But like part of it was like, why is someone not writing like a song for us in this moment where it should.

Be, Like.

Jacob, I didn't even get off the couch when she said it.

The resurrect right now and score this moment please?

All right, last a few things we want to hit you all with here.

What would you both say?

Biggest compromise you've had to make to make sure this relationship worked or was better?

Biggest compromise for me was opening up verbally. That was a huge, huge wall that And it's not that I have a hard time communicating of you know, on a surface level with any any time, but when it came to really getting to the nitty gritty things, it took a lot of work and compromise.

Wow, this is hard for me.

But you I think that you didn't make a compromise there too, and like you really had to compromise, like your desire of wanting to be alone with your feelings to no, it's okay to feel feel things.

It was greater than the Missouri compromise in eighteen twenty. Is that exasciar?

Yes, Oh my gosh, he's really good with Like give him a random year of like what movie won the Academy Award and this.

Year he'll know it. It's insane.

We're not going to quism. We're not going to quim. We're not gonna quism.

My biggest problem, Yeah, what was your biggest compromise, Samantha, My need.

For like immediate resolve. Like I had to learn to be more patient with Jacob.

And I'm not a patient person, I think by nature, so Jacob communication and like like just just needing to be patient with knowing that Jacob would eventually get where I needed him to be in terms of our communication.

What I need from communication.

We can rebuild him, we have the technology.

But yeah, just like knowing that, you know, I have to be patient with him and he has to come to this conclusion because he has to like learn these tools and he has to want this for himself. I'm like immediate gratification, and so being patient with him and sacrificing or compromising my need for immediate gratification, I think was my biggest compromise.

Totally good, all right, And I think the final question and you, yes, your newly weds, Yes you're in your first year of marriage, but you've been together for eight years through a lot of ups and downs. What would you say the key to your success has been? And what do you think it is about the two of you that will make this relationship be a forever one.

Openness and honesty. Those two things keep it the motor running. Yeah, we have this.

This is like our catchphrase and our relationship that we are brutally honest without being brutal.

And I think we won't even.

Tell each other a white lie. That's how how important it is to just be that transparent with one another. And we'll see like other couples or friends who are like, Okay, I'm just going to not tell my purchase to this thing, and I'm you know, like little things like that, and I'm like, I can never imagine not sharing everything with Jacob. I think the fact that we are so eager to share everything, the good, the bad, and we're so comfortable with being that open and honest.

That's what's going to make us last forever.

It's because I'm so excited to tell him every detail of my life. And I think when you have someone that you are so excited to share every aspect of your life with, that's like a true partner because you get to like be on this ride of life together, which is ultimately I feel like the essence of our love story is just finding the person that you want to do life with who makes life the most fun journey alongside.

I mean literally, I'm about to turn RN. I love your story. You guys are so beautiful, So thank you.

Thanks for having you. Guys were so fun. Guys are so fun. This is the first time we've ever right talked to another couple in this way, which is really cool because I feel like you guys can relate on the couple things and we can have We had got to have those moments that were like, yeah, it just just bonded in that way.

But that connectivity is there, and that's what we were hoping to do with all these couples that you you all the four of us, So the two couples, we couldn't be more different in how we got together and how it happened, and where we're from and all these things. Almost every answer you all gave, there's something we could relate to or something we could pluck out and say, oh, we can apply that to us. So it doesn't matter what you look like and where you're from and all

And that's what we want to do with the our relationship dynamic. Isn't be like this super weird, trendy couple, like we're trying to show the world we're very pretty much like everybody else. This this dynamic is going on and it's there, and we've had people try to tell our story in this like over sensationalized way, and it's just it's like it's just.

A love story really and it's pures essence. It's like we just want people to I feel like there's so many boxes when people.

Are like looking for a mate that they're like, he must be rich, he must be handsome, he must have this you know, and it's like all of those things great if that's like how but their distractions on what you really should be looking for and you should be

Yeah, that is so well said, such good advice for everyone listening. Thank you. That's all I can say. Thank you, and we love you and we are rooting for you.

If you're ever in l A, please let us know.

Let's do dinner.

We would love to.

Don't be surprised when we reach out.

Okay, okay, please do